@RukiMotmiya, I have some friendly advice I'd like to offer....Your cards are generally quite good, but your wording needs some work. If I remember correctly, you come from a Yu-Gi-Oh background correct? I highly recommend that you check out bravelion's Lion's Lair articles on formatting and wording MTG cards. It is very well put together and thorough. I think it could help you out a lot if you have the time to take a look at it. I have no idea if this is what hopefulhawkeye is talking about, but you were asking for feedback so.....
Edit: BTW, you can find a link to the Lion's Lair articles in bravelion83's signature.
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(22 Total) - October 2014; December 2014; January 2015; April 2015; June 2015; August 2015; September 2015; November 2015; December 2015(T); January 2016; March 2016(T); April 2016; June 2016; October 2016; December 2016(T); February 2017; April 2017; December 2017; November 2018(T); January 2019; April 2019; June 2019
(8 Total) - May 2015; May 2016; June 2016; August 2016; October 2016; December 2016; October 2017; May 2019
(7 Total) - September 2015; October 2015; January 2016; March 2016; April 2016; July 2016(T); March 2019(T)
@RukiMotmiya, I have some friendly advice I'd like to offer....Your cards are generally quite good, but your wording needs some work. If I remember correctly, you come from a Yu-Gi-Oh background correct? I highly recommend that you check out bravelion's Lion's Lair articles on formatting and wording MTG cards. It is very well put together and thorough. I think it could help you out a lot if you have the time to take a look at it. I have no idea if this is what hopefulhawkeye is talking about, but you were asking for feedback so.....
Edit: BTW, you can find a link to the Lion's Lair articles in bravelion83's signature.
My background is very heavy on Yu-Gi-Oh (Like 10 years) and then hearthstone, yeah. I should do that sometime!
Hey I'm missing a vote tally from yesterday (should be 2 instead of 1).
I've still got you at 1 (BrainPo). I apologize if I'm missing another one. Who is it that voted for you? I HMed you, perhaps you counted that? Again, forgive me if I just keep missing it.
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(22 Total) - October 2014; December 2014; January 2015; April 2015; June 2015; August 2015; September 2015; November 2015; December 2015(T); January 2016; March 2016(T); April 2016; June 2016; October 2016; December 2016(T); February 2017; April 2017; December 2017; November 2018(T); January 2019; April 2019; June 2019
(8 Total) - May 2015; May 2016; June 2016; August 2016; October 2016; December 2016; October 2017; May 2019
(7 Total) - September 2015; October 2015; January 2016; March 2016; April 2016; July 2016(T); March 2019(T)
The problem is in Ruki's quoted card from yesterday: in the flavor text, the italics tag is not closed (the slash is missing).
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MCC - Winner (6): Oct 2014, Apr Nov 2017, Jan 2018, Apr Jun 2019 || Host (15): Dec 2014, Apr Jul Aug Dec 2015, Mar Jul Aug Oct 2016, Feb Jul 2017, Jun Nov 2018, Feb Jul 2019 (last one here) || Judge (34): every month from Nov 2014 to Nov 2016 except Oct 2015, every month from Feb to Jul 2017 except Apr 2017, then Oct 2017, May Jun Nov 2018, Feb Jul 2019 (last one here) CCL - Winner (3): Jul 2016 (tied with Flatline), May 2017, Jul 2019 (last one here) || Host (5): Feb 2015, Mar Apr May Jun 2016 DCC - Winner (1): Mar 2015 (tied with Piar) || Host (3): May Oct 2015, Jan 2016
• The two public custom sets I've been part a part of the design team for: "Brotherhood of Ormos" - Blog post with all info - set thread - design skeleton / card list || "Extinctia: Homo Evanuit" - Blog post with all info - set thread - card list spreadsheet
• "The Lion's Lair", my article series about MTG and custom card design in particular. Latest article here. Here is the article index.Rather outdated by now, and based on the old MCC rubric, but I'm leaving this here for anybody that might be interested anyway.
• My only public attempt at being a writer: the story of my Leonin custom planeswalker Jeff Lionheart. (I have a very big one that I'm working on right now but that's private for now, and I don't know if I will ever actually publish it, and I also have ideas for multiple future ones, including one where I'm going to reprise Jeff.)
The problem is in Ruki's quoted card from yesterday: in the flavor text, the italics tag is not closed (the slash is missing).
Huh! I had no idea one person's post could affect the whole thread like that. Thanks lion! It has been fixed, and your fruit basket is in the mail.
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(22 Total) - October 2014; December 2014; January 2015; April 2015; June 2015; August 2015; September 2015; November 2015; December 2015(T); January 2016; March 2016(T); April 2016; June 2016; October 2016; December 2016(T); February 2017; April 2017; December 2017; November 2018(T); January 2019; April 2019; June 2019
(8 Total) - May 2015; May 2016; June 2016; August 2016; October 2016; December 2016; October 2017; May 2019
(7 Total) - September 2015; October 2015; January 2016; March 2016; April 2016; July 2016(T); March 2019(T)
Honorable Mention: Bravelion83 (Is it ineradicable or uneradicable?)
It's with an "i". I know because I specifically checked before posting the card.
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MCC - Winner (6): Oct 2014, Apr Nov 2017, Jan 2018, Apr Jun 2019 || Host (15): Dec 2014, Apr Jul Aug Dec 2015, Mar Jul Aug Oct 2016, Feb Jul 2017, Jun Nov 2018, Feb Jul 2019 (last one here) || Judge (34): every month from Nov 2014 to Nov 2016 except Oct 2015, every month from Feb to Jul 2017 except Apr 2017, then Oct 2017, May Jun Nov 2018, Feb Jul 2019 (last one here) CCL - Winner (3): Jul 2016 (tied with Flatline), May 2017, Jul 2019 (last one here) || Host (5): Feb 2015, Mar Apr May Jun 2016 DCC - Winner (1): Mar 2015 (tied with Piar) || Host (3): May Oct 2015, Jan 2016
• The two public custom sets I've been part a part of the design team for: "Brotherhood of Ormos" - Blog post with all info - set thread - design skeleton / card list || "Extinctia: Homo Evanuit" - Blog post with all info - set thread - card list spreadsheet
• "The Lion's Lair", my article series about MTG and custom card design in particular. Latest article here. Here is the article index.Rather outdated by now, and based on the old MCC rubric, but I'm leaving this here for anybody that might be interested anyway.
• My only public attempt at being a writer: the story of my Leonin custom planeswalker Jeff Lionheart. (I have a very big one that I'm working on right now but that's private for now, and I don't know if I will ever actually publish it, and I also have ideas for multiple future ones, including one where I'm going to reprise Jeff.)
I edited the post to add Hemlock's card, but 2 people had already voted. Sorry Hemlock. Please try to have your cards in by 10 PM EDT to be safe. I know the thread's not usually up until 11ish, but it may be up as early as 10.
Caller of the Legion1RG
Creature - Human Warrior (R)
Haste Inspired - Whenever Caller of the Legion becomes untapped, you may put a creature card from your hand with converted mana cost 3 or less onto the battlefield tapped and attacking. At the beginning of the next end step, sacrifice that creature. In victory there is sacrifice.
2/2
Am I missing something here? How can a creature attack during your untap step? Also, what if it becomes untapped during your opponent's turn? I know it's a you may, but I still don't think it could be printed. Why not just make the creature gain haste?
(22 Total) - October 2014; December 2014; January 2015; April 2015; June 2015; August 2015; September 2015; November 2015; December 2015(T); January 2016; March 2016(T); April 2016; June 2016; October 2016; December 2016(T); February 2017; April 2017; December 2017; November 2018(T); January 2019; April 2019; June 2019
(8 Total) - May 2015; May 2016; June 2016; August 2016; October 2016; December 2016; October 2017; May 2019
(7 Total) - September 2015; October 2015; January 2016; March 2016; April 2016; July 2016(T); March 2019(T)
@archeron_xl...Isn't your card's copy ability always on when you cast an instant or sorcery? I like the idea, but it's power should be 1, or it shouldn't activate until his power is 4 or greater, otherwise, what's the point of looking at its power?
Heh. You're totally right. He should be a 1/X, or his ability should trigger at power 4. 'Cast one spell to turn it on' was definitely what I was going for.
What an amazing push by bravelion83 at the end of September! On September 21st, Hemlock and I were tied at the top of the standings with 66 pts,and bravelion was at 33 pts. By the time the month came to an end, bravelion managed to push himself into 2nd place, only 4 pts off the lead. What a creative burst! Make sure you save some of that for our custom set (Brotherhood of Ormos).
Also, I'm glad to see a couple of DCC champions back after an absence (aftermarketradio and Piar). It makes me kinda wish I wasn't taking this month off. Welcome back!
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(22 Total) - October 2014; December 2014; January 2015; April 2015; June 2015; August 2015; September 2015; November 2015; December 2015(T); January 2016; March 2016(T); April 2016; June 2016; October 2016; December 2016(T); February 2017; April 2017; December 2017; November 2018(T); January 2019; April 2019; June 2019
(8 Total) - May 2015; May 2016; June 2016; August 2016; October 2016; December 2016; October 2017; May 2019
(7 Total) - September 2015; October 2015; January 2016; March 2016; April 2016; July 2016(T); March 2019(T)
What an amazing push by bravelion83 at the end of September! On September 21st, Hemlock and I were tied at the top of the standings with 66 pts,and bravelion was at 33 pts. By the time the month came to an end, bravelion managed to push himself into 2nd place, only 4 pts off the lead. What a creative burst! Make sure you save some of that for our custom set (Brotherhood of Ormos).
Thanks, even if the comeback was only partially intended. It's true that I willing focused more on certain aspects of the designs but it's also true that I got a lot of votes from cards I thought were weaker designs compared to others that only got a few votes. And don't worry, I'm willingly staying away from Ormos in the DCC. Notice how I never post cards with Ormos mechanics or that come flavorfully from our plane. This is totally intended instead. There's plenty left for Ormos!
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MCC - Winner (6): Oct 2014, Apr Nov 2017, Jan 2018, Apr Jun 2019 || Host (15): Dec 2014, Apr Jul Aug Dec 2015, Mar Jul Aug Oct 2016, Feb Jul 2017, Jun Nov 2018, Feb Jul 2019 (last one here) || Judge (34): every month from Nov 2014 to Nov 2016 except Oct 2015, every month from Feb to Jul 2017 except Apr 2017, then Oct 2017, May Jun Nov 2018, Feb Jul 2019 (last one here) CCL - Winner (3): Jul 2016 (tied with Flatline), May 2017, Jul 2019 (last one here) || Host (5): Feb 2015, Mar Apr May Jun 2016 DCC - Winner (1): Mar 2015 (tied with Piar) || Host (3): May Oct 2015, Jan 2016
• The two public custom sets I've been part a part of the design team for: "Brotherhood of Ormos" - Blog post with all info - set thread - design skeleton / card list || "Extinctia: Homo Evanuit" - Blog post with all info - set thread - card list spreadsheet
• "The Lion's Lair", my article series about MTG and custom card design in particular. Latest article here. Here is the article index.Rather outdated by now, and based on the old MCC rubric, but I'm leaving this here for anybody that might be interested anyway.
• My only public attempt at being a writer: the story of my Leonin custom planeswalker Jeff Lionheart. (I have a very big one that I'm working on right now but that's private for now, and I don't know if I will ever actually publish it, and I also have ideas for multiple future ones, including one where I'm going to reprise Jeff.)
Votes: TriceDefied (even if I think it's undercosted, and/or the wrong rarity - those are dev problems, not design), Indighost
Really? Funnily enough, I thought it was a cutesy, underpowered design :)).
My first read says it should be 1WW and/or rare, since I think it could be really potent after perhaps the third turn. Also, if you only control one creature, you'd get the benefit of both abilities. I'm not sure it's a super great constructed card, but it would wreck limited.
Daring PursuitW
Enchantment (R)
When Daring Pursuit enters the battlefield, your life total becomes 1.
At the beginning of your upkeep, double your life total.
(22 Total) - October 2014; December 2014; January 2015; April 2015; June 2015; August 2015; September 2015; November 2015; December 2015(T); January 2016; March 2016(T); April 2016; June 2016; October 2016; December 2016(T); February 2017; April 2017; December 2017; November 2018(T); January 2019; April 2019; June 2019
(8 Total) - May 2015; May 2016; June 2016; August 2016; October 2016; December 2016; October 2017; May 2019
(7 Total) - September 2015; October 2015; January 2016; March 2016; April 2016; July 2016(T); March 2019(T)
Deceitful LionWB
Creature - Lion (R)
When Deceitful Lion enters the battlefield each opponent reveals their hand.
When Deceitful Lion deals combat damage to a player you may name a card. That player reveals their hand. If the named card is in that player’s hand exile it. Proud it may be, but true it isn’t.
3/1
Thinly veiled snipes at other members of the community is not nice. If you have an issue bring it up with the moderators in appropriate channels.
Ok, is this overpowered? I have a feeling that being able to stack one sided thalias on an opponent is a dangerous territory. I really do want to keep the "skip a turn" clause though. So flavorful, but should there be a second payment option?
Curse of Bureaucracy1WU
Enchantment - Aura Curse (R)
Enchant player
Noncreature Spells the enchanted player casts cost 1 more to cast. 0: ~'s controller sacrifices it. If they do the enchanted player skips their next turn. Only the enchanted player may activate this ability. A choice of damnations; constantly pay for infractions, or waste days filling out permits.
I don't see any world in which that would be overpowered. And not only because it's a Punisher mechanic. Even if it didn't have that activated ability, it's basically a three mana land destruction spell that doesn't affect noncreatures and doesn't color screw you. The only places where it's genuinely better than a Stone Rain is against Modern Affinity and Legacy Elves, but those decks need hosers anyway.
From a Modern balance standpoint, it might even get away costing WU.
Ok then should i push it farther? Just make it all spells cost more?
I don't see any world in which that would be overpowered. And not only because it's a Punisher mechanic. Even if it didn't have that activated ability, it's basically a three mana land destruction spell that doesn't affect noncreatures and doesn't color screw you. The only places where it's genuinely better than a Stone Rain is against Modern Affinity and Legacy Elves, but those decks need hosers anyway.
From a Modern balance standpoint, it might even get away costing WU.
Ok then should i push it farther? Just make it all spells cost more?
Sure, you can do that. It would still make it a bit anti-synergistic with itself though.
No, just "spells the enchanted player cast cost 1 more to cast."
I'm confused here. Ok you curse an opponent with this, now their spells cost more. Then if they want to get rid of it, THEY have to give up a turn. Are you suggesting I add an additional mana cost to the removal ability?
Sprout 2G(You may play Joraga Grove Guard as though it were a land card, not using the stack and expending a land play for the turn. If you do, pay 2G or sacrifice it.)
hehheh, was this design inspired by this discussion? like, what is a skipped land drop worth?
the wording would probably be confusing for some people, who might think a sprouted permanent could be tapped as a land for mana...
Rock Jockey is the the template i'd use for this, avoiding the introduction of new or unfamiliar terminology (a land drop, while being a common colloquial term among players, doesn't seem to appear in the rules).
Sprout [COST] (You may cast this card for its Sprout cost if you haven't played a land this turn. If you do, you can't play land cards during this turn.)
this version is obviously not quite the same, unfortunately not interacting with exploration cards that grant additional land plays, which would be cool. it also slightly bothers me that the drawback can be skirted by giving a sprout card flash, heh.
If you have to pay 2G to make something a land, I would say it's severely underpowered. I wouldn't even play it unless it was an additional land that turn. I would rather have something like this: an additional ability that lets you "cycle" by paying two life or something, exile the card and other cards from the top of your library until you hit a land card, put the land in your hand, and then shuffle or put on bottom of library all the exiled cards.
Another idea is morph lands. Play a card face down for free or perhaps pay some life, it counts as your land for the turn, then maybe turn it over for its morph cost, at which time it stops being a land and becomes a creature or whatever.
Edit: BTW, you can find a link to the Lion's Lair articles in bravelion83's signature.
My background is very heavy on Yu-Gi-Oh (Like 10 years) and then hearthstone, yeah. I should do that sometime!
I've still got you at 1 (BrainPo). I apologize if I'm missing another one. Who is it that voted for you? I HMed you, perhaps you counted that? Again, forgive me if I just keep missing it.
The problem is in Ruki's quoted card from yesterday: in the flavor text, the italics tag is not closed (the slash is missing).
MCC - Winner (6): Oct 2014, Apr Nov 2017, Jan 2018, Apr Jun 2019 || Host (15): Dec 2014, Apr Jul Aug Dec 2015, Mar Jul Aug Oct 2016, Feb Jul 2017, Jun Nov 2018, Feb Jul 2019 (last one here) || Judge (34): every month from Nov 2014 to Nov 2016 except Oct 2015, every month from Feb to Jul 2017 except Apr 2017, then Oct 2017, May Jun Nov 2018, Feb Jul 2019 (last one here)
CCL - Winner (3): Jul 2016 (tied with Flatline), May 2017, Jul 2019 (last one here) || Host (5): Feb 2015, Mar Apr May Jun 2016
DCC - Winner (1): Mar 2015 (tied with Piar) || Host (3): May Oct 2015, Jan 2016
• The two public custom sets I've been part a part of the design team for:
"Brotherhood of Ormos" - Blog post with all info - set thread - design skeleton / card list || "Extinctia: Homo Evanuit" - Blog post with all info - set thread - card list spreadsheet
• "The Lion's Lair", my article series about MTG and custom card design in particular. Latest article here. Here is the article index. Rather outdated by now, and based on the old MCC rubric, but I'm leaving this here for anybody that might be interested anyway.
• My only public attempt at being a writer: the story of my Leonin custom planeswalker Jeff Lionheart. (I have a very big one that I'm working on right now but that's private for now, and I don't know if I will ever actually publish it, and I also have ideas for multiple future ones, including one where I'm going to reprise Jeff.)
Huh! I had no idea one person's post could affect the whole thread like that. Thanks lion! It has been fixed, and your fruit basket is in the mail.
It's with an "i". I know because I specifically checked before posting the card.
MCC - Winner (6): Oct 2014, Apr Nov 2017, Jan 2018, Apr Jun 2019 || Host (15): Dec 2014, Apr Jul Aug Dec 2015, Mar Jul Aug Oct 2016, Feb Jul 2017, Jun Nov 2018, Feb Jul 2019 (last one here) || Judge (34): every month from Nov 2014 to Nov 2016 except Oct 2015, every month from Feb to Jul 2017 except Apr 2017, then Oct 2017, May Jun Nov 2018, Feb Jul 2019 (last one here)
CCL - Winner (3): Jul 2016 (tied with Flatline), May 2017, Jul 2019 (last one here) || Host (5): Feb 2015, Mar Apr May Jun 2016
DCC - Winner (1): Mar 2015 (tied with Piar) || Host (3): May Oct 2015, Jan 2016
• The two public custom sets I've been part a part of the design team for:
"Brotherhood of Ormos" - Blog post with all info - set thread - design skeleton / card list || "Extinctia: Homo Evanuit" - Blog post with all info - set thread - card list spreadsheet
• "The Lion's Lair", my article series about MTG and custom card design in particular. Latest article here. Here is the article index. Rather outdated by now, and based on the old MCC rubric, but I'm leaving this here for anybody that might be interested anyway.
• My only public attempt at being a writer: the story of my Leonin custom planeswalker Jeff Lionheart. (I have a very big one that I'm working on right now but that's private for now, and I don't know if I will ever actually publish it, and I also have ideas for multiple future ones, including one where I'm going to reprise Jeff.)
Alright, cool to know. That's a new word to add to my vocab!
Edit:
Am I missing something here? How can a creature attack during your untap step? Also, what if it becomes untapped during your opponent's turn? I know it's a you may, but I still don't think it could be printed. Why not just make the creature gain haste?
Heh. You're totally right. He should be a 1/X, or his ability should trigger at power 4. 'Cast one spell to turn it on' was definitely what I was going for.
Also, I'm glad to see a couple of DCC champions back after an absence (aftermarketradio and Piar). It makes me kinda wish I wasn't taking this month off.
Thanks, even if the comeback was only partially intended. It's true that I willing focused more on certain aspects of the designs but it's also true that I got a lot of votes from cards I thought were weaker designs compared to others that only got a few votes. And don't worry, I'm willingly staying away from Ormos in the DCC. Notice how I never post cards with Ormos mechanics or that come flavorfully from our plane. This is totally intended instead. There's plenty left for Ormos!
MCC - Winner (6): Oct 2014, Apr Nov 2017, Jan 2018, Apr Jun 2019 || Host (15): Dec 2014, Apr Jul Aug Dec 2015, Mar Jul Aug Oct 2016, Feb Jul 2017, Jun Nov 2018, Feb Jul 2019 (last one here) || Judge (34): every month from Nov 2014 to Nov 2016 except Oct 2015, every month from Feb to Jul 2017 except Apr 2017, then Oct 2017, May Jun Nov 2018, Feb Jul 2019 (last one here)
CCL - Winner (3): Jul 2016 (tied with Flatline), May 2017, Jul 2019 (last one here) || Host (5): Feb 2015, Mar Apr May Jun 2016
DCC - Winner (1): Mar 2015 (tied with Piar) || Host (3): May Oct 2015, Jan 2016
• The two public custom sets I've been part a part of the design team for:
"Brotherhood of Ormos" - Blog post with all info - set thread - design skeleton / card list || "Extinctia: Homo Evanuit" - Blog post with all info - set thread - card list spreadsheet
• "The Lion's Lair", my article series about MTG and custom card design in particular. Latest article here. Here is the article index. Rather outdated by now, and based on the old MCC rubric, but I'm leaving this here for anybody that might be interested anyway.
• My only public attempt at being a writer: the story of my Leonin custom planeswalker Jeff Lionheart. (I have a very big one that I'm working on right now but that's private for now, and I don't know if I will ever actually publish it, and I also have ideas for multiple future ones, including one where I'm going to reprise Jeff.)
My first read says it should be 1WW and/or rare, since I think it could be really potent after perhaps the third turn. Also, if you only control one creature, you'd get the benefit of both abilities. I'm not sure it's a super great constructed card, but it would wreck limited.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpXBptw8ZGQ
Thinly veiled snipes at other members of the community is not nice. If you have an issue bring it up with the moderators in appropriate channels.
Are you designing commons? Check out my primer on NWO.
Interested in making a custom set? Check out my Set skeleton and archetype primer.
I also write articles about getting started with custom card creation.
Go and PLAYTEST your designs, you will learn more in a single playtests than a dozen discussions.
My custom sets:
Dreamscape
Coins of Mercalis [COMPLETE]
Exodus of Zendikar - ON HOLD
Curse of Bureaucracy 1WU
Enchantment - Aura Curse (R)
Enchant player
Noncreature Spells the enchanted player casts cost 1 more to cast.
0: ~'s controller sacrifices it. If they do the enchanted player skips their next turn. Only the enchanted player may activate this ability.
A choice of damnations; constantly pay for infractions, or waste days filling out permits.
Ok then should i push it farther? Just make it all spells cost more?
No, just "spells the enchanted player cast cost 1 more to cast."
Edit: Oh, the turn lose is relatively minor?
it's not the same
hehheh, was this design inspired by this discussion? like, what is a skipped land drop worth?
the wording would probably be confusing for some people, who might think a sprouted permanent could be tapped as a land for mana...
Rock Jockey is the the template i'd use for this, avoiding the introduction of new or unfamiliar terminology (a land drop, while being a common colloquial term among players, doesn't seem to appear in the rules).
Sprout [COST] (You may cast this card for its Sprout cost if you haven't played a land this turn. If you do, you can't play land cards during this turn.)
this version is obviously not quite the same, unfortunately not interacting with exploration cards that grant additional land plays, which would be cool. it also slightly bothers me that the drawback can be skirted by giving a sprout card flash, heh.
Are you designing commons? Check out my primer on NWO.
Interested in making a custom set? Check out my Set skeleton and archetype primer.
I also write articles about getting started with custom card creation.
Go and PLAYTEST your designs, you will learn more in a single playtests than a dozen discussions.
My custom sets:
Dreamscape
Coins of Mercalis [COMPLETE]
Exodus of Zendikar - ON HOLD
Another idea is morph lands. Play a card face down for free or perhaps pay some life, it counts as your land for the turn, then maybe turn it over for its morph cost, at which time it stops being a land and becomes a creature or whatever.
yeah, you have i think, i think i voted for it too. it's nice, would like to see the rest of this cycle (think i said that before too)