trololol.
I'm guessing you checked IPs? You probably wouldn't have known if you hadn't become a moderator. I only used him for a few weeks. Hadn't been on him till Prohylaxis' banner provoked me.
Sorry to disappoint.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
IIW:
Multicolored millcards in something other than dimir.
trololol.
I'm guessing you checked IPs? You probably wouldn't have known if you hadn't become a moderator. I only used him for a few weeks. Hadn't been on him till Prohylaxis' banner provoked me.
Sorry to disappoint.
You legitimately did disappoint. This is like finding out Santa Claus isn't real.
trololol.
I'm guessing you checked IPs? You probably wouldn't have known if you hadn't become a moderator. I only used him for a few weeks. Hadn't been on him till Prohylaxis' banner provoked me.
Sorry to disappoint.
You could have gone out a legend. Man, you failed.
Fair enough. The Jiggernuts shall be put to rest for eternity. Remember not of him as a sham, but as a little Korean boy with a love for magic and troubles in English, who provided mirth to all of us, in one way or another.
P.S. Quite fitting that he has exactly 100 posts...
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
IIW:
Multicolored millcards in something other than dimir.
Altar of Crevices4WW
Artifact (R)
When Altar of Crevices enters the battlefield, exile all creatures you control. 3W,T, Sacrifice a creature: Put a destruction counter on target land.
If a land has three or more destruction counters on it, its controller sacrifices it.
IIW: Sig
Bad, but I can still see a use for it (WB token mill with Extractor Demon?). 1.209/5.
Does this mean troll entries are actually going to be good?
Edict of Derpus Vis 2BB
Sorcery (R)
Choose one — Sacrifice a creature. You gain life equal to that creature's converted mana cost; or target opponent sacrifices a creature. You lose life equal to that creature's converted mana cost.
Entwine — 2
IIW: Derpus Vis and all his friends.
Platinum Emperion says Derpus wants your opponent to sacrifice a creature with no penalty. Also, Exile into Darkness is worse most of the time. 2.771/5.
Security Detail3W
Enchantment [R] WW: Put a 1/1 white Soldier creature token onto the battlefield. Activate this ability only if you control no creatures and only once each turn.
Irrelevant Detail2U
Enchantment [R]
Whenever you tap a land for mana, creatures you control phase out. Activate this ability only if the stack is empty. "But...why?"
IIW: A card that involves flipping a coin.
This is less "bad" and more "word salad", since it refers to "activating" a triggered "ability". And now I can't "stop" using "air quotes". 2.222/5.
Sacrificial Lamb4WB
Instant - R
You may pay half your life rather than Sacrificial lamb's converted mana cost.
Put a 0/1 lamb creature token that is white and a 0/1 lamb creature that is black onto the battlefield under your control. Exile them both at the beginning of your next end step. Spare the whip, spoil the lion
Psychadelic
Confusing design choice. Wouldn't you, uh, sacrifice them at the beginning of your next end step, rather than exile them? That said, you get a pair of tokens for, essentially, free, and you can hold onto them from your opponent's upkeep straight through until end of turn. This actually isn't that bad of a card at all. 2.774/5
Shoddily-crafted Halibut Idol3
Artifact (R)
If you would draw a card, exile Shoddily-crafted Halibut Idol instead.
IIW: Coal mining
Something is fishy with this card. I don't want to carp about it, and I'm not going to flounder for words here, but you really put your sole into this card. 2.111/5
Tivadaric Wargear1
Artifact - Equipment (C)
Equipped creature has protection from Goblins. When you control a Goblin, sacrifice Tivadaric Wargear.
Equip "Thou shalt not suffer a goblin to live." - Tivadar 20:18
Worse but printable or just worse? Also, I voted Security Detail up to 0.784, does that mean I can submit Sorrow's Path now?
Nomadic TransferW
Sorcery (U)
Attach target Aura or Fortification attached to a land you control to another target land you control. The Kor do not settle in any one place for long, but wherever they go, the land greets them as though they have always lived there.
IIW: Something you would actually want to target with this (an Enchant land or Fortification).
This, alongside a reprint of Pyramids, holds great promise for something. What that something is, I'm not sure. 1.318/5.
Tiny Squid (2/U)
Creature - Octopus
Whenever this creature attacks or blocks, sacrifice it. "Each animal serves its purpose, now where is that shark?"
0/1
IIW, This little guy's bigger better bad-ass brother.
Not openly bad at all. At worst it converts into a cheap wolf token. 1.504/5.
Persistent Snail3GG
Creature - Beast (R)
At the beginning of your upkeep, if target opponent controls more creatures than you, you may put a 0/1 green Ooze creature token onto the battlefield. Slow and steady wins the race, slow and steady wins the race, slow...
1/1
IIW: cards with morph, or cards that care about morph.
Hang on, I'll get back to critiquing this in twelve hours. 1.904/5.
MindsnapBB
Sorcery {R}
As an additional cost to cast Mindsnap, discard any number of cards.
Target opponent discards half the number of cards discarded this way rounded down. "I will break you even if it breaks me."
IIW: Siggy.
Strictly better than One with Nothing, other than that it's sorcery speed. 2.909/5.
Marble Monument2W
Enchantment (U) 2W: Target creature with power 2 or less gains lifelink until end of turn.
IIW: equipment for your fav creature
This shows promise (if the lifelink deactivated whenever the creature's power exceeded 2, this would be pretty bad), but as it is, I think I'll just hit a 2/x with this and pump it. 2.663/5.
Altar of the Souless3
Artifact (R)
Sacrifice a creature token: Add two mana of any color to your mana pool.
IIW: A fine common with CMC 6 or greater
Rhys the Redeemed + Intruder Alarm + this = infinite mana as long as you've got at least six tokens. (Sac three tokens, fire off Rhys's token-duplicator, Rhys untaps from the Alarm, repeat.) 3.440/5.
Break the Restricts5
Artifact (R)
If you could activate an ability only once per turn, you may activate that ability as many times as you want instead.
iiw siggy
I had to check to see if this wasn't broken. Sure, it fuels combos, but it costs 5!
I'm doubtful as to whether or not this allows you to run planeswalkers up to infinite loyalty. Even if it doesn't, this basically just increases the number of possible combo decks. 2.014/5.
Rude Interruption 4GU
Instant (U)
Counter target creature spell. If it's countered in this way, each player puts two 3/3 green Ape creature tokens onto the battlefield.
IIW: If Arabian Nights conformed to modern design and development standards.
Probably not bad at all, outside of playing against decks that can take advantage of the extra creatures. 2.464/5.
BackstabB
Instant
Destroy target creature you control. "I'll never understand the appeal of working alone. Without allies, you miss out on the fun of betrayal."
IIW: Build-around-me trash rares
This is on the same level as One with Nothing - no apparent use initially, but it lets you fire off "dies" triggers quickly, easily, and cheaply. 3.011/5.
Winner Loser: Ninja Caterpie, whose card was bad, but... to be honest, nobody here is good at designing truly lousy cards. We didn't even get a card that flat-out draws the game (...why the hell Divine Intervention is currently rated ~3.4 is beyond me), let alone 5 mana for 1 damage.
Trogdor, the Burninator3RR
Legendary Creature - Dragon Human (Or maybe just a Dragon) (M) RRR: Destroy target land.
Lands can only be destroyed by Trogdor.
If there are no lands in play and Trogdor has destroyed at least one land, you win the game. "When all the land is in ruin, and burnination has forsaken the countryside, only one guy will prevail..."
IIW: Colossal wurms. Titanic wurms. Game changing wurms.
Burninate the Countryside1R
Sorcery (U)
Put a blaze counter on target land without a blaze counter on it. For as long as that land has a blaze counter on it, it has "At the beginning of your upkeep, this land deals 1 damage to you." (The land continues to burn each turn.) "Burninating the countryside! Burninating the peasants! Burninating all the people! In their thatched roof COTTAGES!!!"
Sir Aureus's entry
Burninate2RR
Sorcery (U)
Choose one - Destroy target land; or Burninate deals 3 damage to each Human; or destroy target Fortification. "Burninating the countryside! Burninating the peasants! Burninating all the people! In their thatched roof COTTAGES!!!"
IIW: Make a card with text that is heavily alliterated. (i.e. "Tap up to two target Treefolk.")
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Graze the Sun1R
Sorcery M
Graze the Sun deals 10 damage to target creature, if that creature is alive at end of turn, it gains double strike, flying, intimidate, trample, and +5/+5. (a creature is alive if it is on the battlefield) To touch the sun and die is a proper cremation. To touch the sun and live, however...
Thread Rating: ☆☆☆☆☆ (4.59), up from 4.56 last month! Excellent. We're currently at 39 votes, by the way. Thread Size: 11th, up TWO SLOTS from last month! I think we can make top 10 this month! Thread Views: 10th, up from last month! Sweet, keep clicking on that thread. Posts per Day Lifetime: 24.21, up from 22.08 last month! Holy ****! That's a lot of posts! Posts per Day since last update: About 59.24, or 1718 posts in the past 29 days! Get a life! Last month we only did 38.76!
Top Ten Most Prolific Posters, Lifetime: Megiddo — 1382
Oculus — 586
Sir Aureus — 527
CrustaceanCrusader — 501
PanchoPonceN — 492
Summon_Legend — 424
MagicBrains — 406
Brofaux — 331
pstmdrn — 302
JonFuryZacharias — 281
Too much effort. You have no idea how painful it is.
And no, the food poisoning was real ****.
Multicolored millcards in something other than dimir.
And it turns out it's just you.
I'm guessing you checked IPs? You probably wouldn't have known if you hadn't become a moderator. I only used him for a few weeks. Hadn't been on him till Prohylaxis' banner provoked me.
Sorry to disappoint.
Multicolored millcards in something other than dimir.
I wish it hadn't turned out this way.
You legitimately did disappoint. This is like finding out Santa Claus isn't real.
I̟̥͍̠ͅn̩͉̣͍̬͚ͅ ̬̬͖t̯̹̞̺͖͓̯̤h̘͍̬e͙̯͈̖̼̮ ̭̬f̺̲̲̪i͙͉̟̩̰r̪̝͚͈̝̥͍̝̲s̼̻͇̘̳͔ͅt̲̺̳̗̜̪̙ ̳̺̥̻͚̗ͅm̜̜̟̰͈͓͎͇o̝̖̮̝͇m̯̻̞̼̫̗͓̤e̩̯̬̮̩n͎̱̪̲̹͖t͇̖s̰̮ͅ,̤̲͙̻̭̻̯̹̰ ̖t̫̙̺̯͖͚̯ͅh͙̯̦̳̗̰̟e͖̪͉̼̯ ̪͕g̞̣͔a̗̦t̬̬͓͙̫̖̭̻e̩̻̯ ̜̖̦̖̤̭͙̬t̞̹̥̪͎͉ͅo͕͚͍͇̲͇͓̺ ̭̬͙͈̣̻t͈͍͙͓̫̖͙̩h̪̬̖̙e̗͈ ̗̬̟̞̺̤͉̯ͅa̦̯͚̙̜̮f͉͙̲̣̞̼t̪̤̞̣͚e̲͉̳̥r͇̪̙͚͓l̥̞̞͎̹̯̹ͅi͓̬f̮̥̬̞͈ͅe͎ ̟̩̤̳̠̯̩̯o̮̘̲p̟͚̣̞͉͓e͍̩̣n͔̼͕͚̜e̬̱d̼̘͎̖̹͍̮̠,͖̺̭̱̮ ̣̲͖̬̪̭̥a̪͚n̟̲̝̤̤̞̗d̘̱̗͇̮͕̳͕͔ ͖̞͉͎t̹̙͎h̰̱͉̗e̪̞̱̝̹̩ͅ ̠̱̩̭̦p̯̙e͓o̳͚̰̯̺̱̰͔̘p̬͎̱̣̼̩͇l̗̟̖͚̠e̱͉͔̱̦̬̟̙ ̖͚̪͔̼̦w̺̖̤̱e͖̗̻̦͓̖̘̜r̭̥e͔̹̫̱͕̦̰͕ ̗͔̠p̠̗͍͍̱̳̠r̰͔͎̰o͉̥͓̰͚̥s̟͚̹̱͔̣t͉̙̳̖͖̪̮r̥̘̥͙̹a͉̟̫̟̳̠̟̭t͈̜̰͈͎e̞̣̭̲̬ ͚̗̯̟͙i͍͖̰̘̦͖͉ṇ̮̻̯̦̲̩͍ ̦̮͚̫̤t͉͖̫͕ͅͅh͙̮̻̘̣̮̼e͕̺ ͙l͕̠͎̰̥i̲͓͉̲g̫̳̟͈͇̖h̠̦̖t͓̯͎̗ ̳̪̘̟̙̩̦o̫̲f̙͔̰̙̠ ̹̪̗͇̯t͖̼̼͉͖̬h̹͇̩e͚̖̺̤͉̹͕̪ ͚͓̭̝̺G͎̗̯̩o̫̯̮̟̮̳̘d̜̲͙̠-̩̳̯̲̗̜P̹̘̥͉̝h͍͈̗̖̝ͅa͍̗̮̼̗r̜̖͇̙̺a̭̺͔̞̳͈o̪̣͓̯̬͙̯̰̗h̖̦͈̥̯͔.͇̣̙̝
You could have gone out a legend. Man, you failed.
-- R.I.P. 10/16/11-2/29/12
Good night sweet prince, 10/16/11-2/29/12
I̟̥͍̠ͅn̩͉̣͍̬͚ͅ ̬̬͖t̯̹̞̺͖͓̯̤h̘͍̬e͙̯͈̖̼̮ ̭̬f̺̲̲̪i͙͉̟̩̰r̪̝͚͈̝̥͍̝̲s̼̻͇̘̳͔ͅt̲̺̳̗̜̪̙ ̳̺̥̻͚̗ͅm̜̜̟̰͈͓͎͇o̝̖̮̝͇m̯̻̞̼̫̗͓̤e̩̯̬̮̩n͎̱̪̲̹͖t͇̖s̰̮ͅ,̤̲͙̻̭̻̯̹̰ ̖t̫̙̺̯͖͚̯ͅh͙̯̦̳̗̰̟e͖̪͉̼̯ ̪͕g̞̣͔a̗̦t̬̬͓͙̫̖̭̻e̩̻̯ ̜̖̦̖̤̭͙̬t̞̹̥̪͎͉ͅo͕͚͍͇̲͇͓̺ ̭̬͙͈̣̻t͈͍͙͓̫̖͙̩h̪̬̖̙e̗͈ ̗̬̟̞̺̤͉̯ͅa̦̯͚̙̜̮f͉͙̲̣̞̼t̪̤̞̣͚e̲͉̳̥r͇̪̙͚͓l̥̞̞͎̹̯̹ͅi͓̬f̮̥̬̞͈ͅe͎ ̟̩̤̳̠̯̩̯o̮̘̲p̟͚̣̞͉͓e͍̩̣n͔̼͕͚̜e̬̱d̼̘͎̖̹͍̮̠,͖̺̭̱̮ ̣̲͖̬̪̭̥a̪͚n̟̲̝̤̤̞̗d̘̱̗͇̮͕̳͕͔ ͖̞͉͎t̹̙͎h̰̱͉̗e̪̞̱̝̹̩ͅ ̠̱̩̭̦p̯̙e͓o̳͚̰̯̺̱̰͔̘p̬͎̱̣̼̩͇l̗̟̖͚̠e̱͉͔̱̦̬̟̙ ̖͚̪͔̼̦w̺̖̤̱e͖̗̻̦͓̖̘̜r̭̥e͔̹̫̱͕̦̰͕ ̗͔̠p̠̗͍͍̱̳̠r̰͔͎̰o͉̥͓̰͚̥s̟͚̹̱͔̣t͉̙̳̖͖̪̮r̥̘̥͙̹a͉̟̫̟̳̠̟̭t͈̜̰͈͎e̞̣̭̲̬ ͚̗̯̟͙i͍͖̰̘̦͖͉ṇ̮̻̯̦̲̩͍ ̦̮͚̫̤t͉͖̫͕ͅͅh͙̮̻̘̣̮̼e͕̺ ͙l͕̠͎̰̥i̲͓͉̲g̫̳̟͈͇̖h̠̦̖t͓̯͎̗ ̳̪̘̟̙̩̦o̫̲f̙͔̰̙̠ ̹̪̗͇̯t͖̼̼͉͖̬h̹͇̩e͚̖̺̤͉̹͕̪ ͚͓̭̝̺G͎̗̯̩o̫̯̮̟̮̳̘d̜̲͙̠-̩̳̯̲̗̜P̹̘̥͉̝h͍͈̗̖̝ͅa͍̗̮̼̗r̜̖͇̙̺a̭̺͔̞̳͈o̪̣͓̯̬͙̯̰̗h̖̦͈̥̯͔.͇̣̙̝
Fair enough. The Jiggernuts shall be put to rest for eternity. Remember not of him as a sham, but as a little Korean boy with a love for magic and troubles in English, who provided mirth to all of us, in one way or another.
P.S. Quite fitting that he has exactly 100 posts...
Multicolored millcards in something other than dimir.
Multicolored millcards in something other than dimir.
Bad, but I can still see a use for it (WB token mill with Extractor Demon?). 1.209/5.
The white counterpart is clearly "Creatures with flanking can't attack." Not bad so much as pointless. 1.622/5.
Platinum Emperion says Derpus wants your opponent to sacrifice a creature with no penalty. Also, Exile into Darkness is worse most of the time. 2.771/5.
This is less "bad" and more "word salad", since it refers to "activating" a triggered "ability". And now I can't "stop" using "air quotes". 2.222/5.
Confusing design choice. Wouldn't you, uh, sacrifice them at the beginning of your next end step, rather than exile them? That said, you get a pair of tokens for, essentially, free, and you can hold onto them from your opponent's upkeep straight through until end of turn. This actually isn't that bad of a card at all. 2.774/5
Something is fishy with this card. I don't want to carp about it, and I'm not going to flounder for words here, but you really put your sole into this card. 2.111/5
Pariah, Stuffy Doll, and this. I like my chances. 3.202/5.
Narrow, but not quite bad enough. Goblins are still a relevant creature type. 1.688/5.
This, alongside a reprint of Pyramids, holds great promise for something. What that something is, I'm not sure. 1.318/5.
Not openly bad at all. At worst it converts into a cheap wolf token. 1.504/5.
Hang on, I'll get back to critiquing this in twelve hours. 1.904/5.
Strictly better than One with Nothing, other than that it's sorcery speed. 2.909/5.
This shows promise (if the lifelink deactivated whenever the creature's power exceeded 2, this would be pretty bad), but as it is, I think I'll just hit a 2/x with this and pump it. 2.663/5.
Rhys the Redeemed + Intruder Alarm + this = infinite mana as long as you've got at least six tokens. (Sac three tokens, fire off Rhys's token-duplicator, Rhys untaps from the Alarm, repeat.) 3.440/5.
I'm doubtful as to whether or not this allows you to run planeswalkers up to infinite loyalty. Even if it doesn't, this basically just increases the number of possible combo decks. 2.014/5.
Probably not bad at all, outside of playing against decks that can take advantage of the extra creatures. 2.464/5.
This is on the same level as One with Nothing - no apparent use initially, but it lets you fire off "dies" triggers quickly, easily, and cheaply. 3.011/5.
WinnerLoser: Ninja Caterpie, whose card was bad, but... to be honest, nobody here is good at designing truly lousy cards. We didn't even get a card that flat-out draws the game (...why the hell Divine Intervention is currently rated ~3.4 is beyond me), let alone 5 mana for 1 damage.Next challenge: Burninate!
(Probably NSFW) So you may have heard I'm trying to write a TV series...
Most Nominated for Random Categories, 2013
Current challenge: Burninate!
Legendary Creature - Dragon Human (Or maybe just a Dragon) (M)
RRR: Destroy target land.
Lands can only be destroyed by Trogdor.
If there are no lands in play and Trogdor has destroyed at least one land, you win the game.
"When all the land is in ruin, and burnination has forsaken the countryside, only one guy will prevail..."
IIW: Colossal wurms. Titanic wurms. Game changing wurms.
This is for me more than it is for anyone else. I sucks at colors.
Sorcery (U)
Put a blaze counter on target land without a blaze counter on it. For as long as that land has a blaze counter on it, it has "At the beginning of your upkeep, this land deals 1 damage to you." (The land continues to burn each turn.)
"Burninating the countryside! Burninating the peasants! Burninating all the people! In their thatched roof COTTAGES!!!"
Sir Aureus's entry
IIW siggy
Boiling Atmosphere RRRR
Sorcery (R)
Prevent all damage that would be dealt to players this turn.
Boiling Atmosphere deals 100 damage to each creature.
IIW: ............
Sorcery (U)
Choose one - Destroy target land; or Burninate deals 3 damage to each Human; or destroy target Fortification.
"Burninating the countryside! Burninating the peasants! Burninating all the people! In their thatched roof COTTAGES!!!"
IIW: Make a card with text that is heavily alliterated. (i.e. "Tap up to two target Treefolk.")
A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Graze the Sun 1R
Sorcery M
Graze the Sun deals 10 damage to target creature, if that creature is alive at end of turn, it gains double strike, flying, intimidate, trample, and +5/+5. (a creature is alive if it is on the battlefield)
To touch the sun and die is a proper cremation. To touch the sun and live, however...
IIW: Beach shenanigans
WUB Esper Control
Legacy
WU Miracles
Edh
WUBErtai, the corrupted
Modern
GR Welcome to the Jungle
Club Flamingo Statistics Update — March
Thread Rating: ☆☆☆☆☆ (4.59), up from 4.56 last month! Excellent. We're currently at 39 votes, by the way.
Thread Size: 11th, up TWO SLOTS from last month! I think we can make top 10 this month!
Thread Views: 10th, up from last month! Sweet, keep clicking on that thread.
Posts per Day Lifetime: 24.21, up from 22.08 last month! Holy ****! That's a lot of posts!
Posts per Day since last update: About 59.24, or 1718 posts in the past 29 days! Get a life! Last month we only did 38.76!
Top Ten Most Prolific Posters, Lifetime:
Megiddo — 1382
Oculus — 586
Sir Aureus — 527
CrustaceanCrusader — 501
PanchoPonceN — 492
Summon_Legend — 424
MagicBrains — 406
Brofaux — 331
pstmdrn — 302
JonFuryZacharias — 281
THANKS EVERYBODY!
Rest in peace, little man. May you find your ever elusive english please.
This is for me more than it is for anyone else. I sucks at colors.