How is wither "garbage?" It's quite powerful.
A creature dealer any damage by a source with faze uses its power rather than toughness that turn to determine lethal damage. This applies to all damage dealt to us, not damage dealt just by sources with faze. I haven't yet found the best wording for the effect, as is evidenced by your confusion.
What you put down with BlightStrike seems to be a nerfed Wither mixed with First Strike. Given that that is the only thing it has on it, it seems to be nothing but a vain attempt to 'fix' a keyword that isn't all that crazy to begin with.
This is a partial cross post, in that it's making a proper card version of a token from that card
Sparkling, the Remade1R
Legendary Creature - Elemental Shaman
Sparkling, the Remade comes into play with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the number of elemental creatures you control.
: Sparkling, the Remade deals damage equal to it's power to target creature or player.
1/1
Private Mod Note
():
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I love Slivers, Myr, Saprolings and generally any creature type best served by spamming loads of tokens
It's utter nonsense when combined with Infect and abilities that trigger OP effects on combat damage to a player, but otherwise it's okay.
Honden of Listening Spirits5
Enchantment - Shrine
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a 1/1 colorless demon onto the battlefield under target opponent's control for each Shrine you control. To the sorrow of all, they turned their ears away from those who once prayed at them.
---
It seems nonsensical on it's own, but it breaks the balence of a cycle that was balenced around having only two or three shrines.
Private Mod Note
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I love Slivers, Myr, Saprolings and generally any creature type best served by spamming loads of tokens
I don't get the point if this card. Why would you give your opponent creatures? It's not like they have a drawback, unless I'm missing something. Even then, its purpose is confusing.
Starvation2GGG
Sorcery
Kicker:GG
Destroy all creatures with toughness 6 or higher. Then, creature with lowest power gains +X/+X until end of turn and fights creature with highest power, where X is equal to the difference in their convted mana costs. If Starvation was kicked, replace "toughness 6" with "toughness 4".
A combination of two cards I had for green a couple days ago. Comments?
This is doing way too much stuff. It's a bit of a mini-Wrath effect, then it pumps something, and then kills something else probably. And none of that is a simple choice, it's all based on the stats of things that are out there, so there's no simple targeting going on - you have to compare everything to everything else to see what it actually does. What creatures die to it, which one gets pumped, then you have to see what it fights, and then you get to see how much it gets pumped by. So you have to set up the battlefield perfectly to even actually use it, and then you have to see what it'll be like when it's in the middle of resolving. And since it relies on what your opponent has as well, you have to monitor what they're doing as well.
And on top of all of that, it has a kicker effect. It really is a bit of a mess.
Lotus Keeper1G
Creature - Human Druid T: Put a lotus counter on ~. T, Remove a lotus counter from ~: Add three mana of any one colour to your mana pool.
1/2
I think this either needs to cost a little more to get on to the battlefield, or have an additional cost associated with the second ability.
Swaying Whispers1U Enchantment - Aura (R)
Enchant permanent
You can activate enchanted permanent's non-mana abilities as if you controlled it. (You have to pay activation costs to do so.)
In regards to Swaying Whispers, it seems kind of odd, but I can see where the use is.
More cross posts! This time with a bit more balance than where I made it.
Loquacious Infection3UUB
Creature - Germ
Infect, First Strike
Whenever a creature with -1/-1 counters on it dies, put a copy of Loquacious Infection onto the battlefield and draw a card.
2/3
---
Seems wildly overpriced, but it makes more copies with more of them. And First Strike makes it so that it takes a 5 power creature without First Strike tto kill it.
Private Mod Note
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I love Slivers, Myr, Saprolings and generally any creature type best served by spamming loads of tokens
The point is to be a non-legendary Honden. Forcing your opponent to discard one card on your upkeep is bad. Forcing them to discard five cards in their hand is crazy, even if they get 20 1/1 creatures. If you have a creature with Rampage, the numbers mean nothing. Especially if you have something to make every creature able to block it do so. Ultimately, it's a card that makes the existing Honden better if you can deal with the hoards of demons. If not, it's useless.
Private Mod Note
():
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I love Slivers, Myr, Saprolings and generally any creature type best served by spamming loads of tokens
The germ seems fine. A tad too expensive on first glance, but since it puts a copy of itself, in a sense it doubles its own draw power, so actually can be pretty strong. The P/T-cost ratio looks good too.
Next
Mirroring SpiteUB
Instant (U)
Choose one:
* Counter target spell if it shares a creature type with a creature on the battlefield; or,
* Destroy target creature if it shares a creature type with a spell. "Either of you is enough."
Side note: With that wording, this card has a special interaction with tribal spells; a tribal Elf spell can allow you to kill an Elf, for example. Comments?
For some reason, I think that that would be best in a Sliver deck...
Chromas, God of Rainbows(R/G)(G/W)(W/U)(U/B)(B/R)(W/B)(B/G)(G/U)(U/R)(R/W)
Legendary Enchantment Creature - Elemental God
Chromas, God of Rainbows' power and toughness are equal to your devotion to every color combined.
All mana symbols count as three mana symbols of the same type for Chroma and Devotion.
All creatures get +X/+X, where X is their controller's devotion to their colors.
*/*
---
Really silly, just a way of making WUBRG devotion useable. It may make itself nigh unstoppable instantly by making itself a 120/120 if duel mana symbols count as both colors.
On Chromas, God of Rainbows:
• I find his name to be quite silly, but from your comment I take it this is a bottom-up design anyway.
• The mana cost is fun to look at, but extremely difficult to parse. It would be better as WUBRG, or perhaps WWUUBBRRGG.
• I believe type line is too long to feasibly fit on a card. The Theros Gods had crammed type lines already.
• The first ability should probably read, "~'s power and toughness are equal to your devotion to all colors."
• The second ability seems unnecessary to me, although it's a neat concept. I'm not sure why you chose to pull Chroma in here, but unfortunately references to it don't work. It's an ability word with zero rules meaning.
• The final ability should, under Wizards' current design paradigms, affect only creatures you control.
My card is a planeswalker with an intentionally bizarre ultimate.
Echron, the Visitor3UU
Planeswalker — Echron (M)
[+1] Choose untap, upkeep, or draw step. At the end of your second main phase this turn, you get an additional instance of the chosen step.
[0] Scry 3.
[-7] Add yourself to the game as an additional player using another deck you own. That player goes after you in the turn order and [draws an additional card each turn/can't be attacked]. {4}
The clause in purple is something I haven't decided upon yet. I want your second self to have an advantage, since this is a planeswalker ultimate and it takes time to get there, and that "player" is joining the game quite late. But I'm not sure how far to push it.
On Just Over the Hill:
• I feel I need a better understanding of the environment in which you envision this to comprehend why you've made it an enchantment with flash rather than an instant. For that matter, why does this need to be at instant speed?
• I find it awkward that this would require you to run basic lands in your sideboard in competitive events, but it would otherwise do interesting things for deckbuilding. Some of the advantage for cards that search up lands is in the deck thinning, which this doesn't provide. However, you never have to run that land in the first place, which is an interesting change in itself.
My card is a planeswalker with an intentionally bizarre ultimate.
Echron, the Visitor3UU
Planeswalker — Echron (M)
[+1] Choose untap, upkeep, or draw step. At the end of your second main phase this turn, you get an additional instance of the chosen step.
[0] Scry 3.
[-7] Add yourself to the game as an additional player using another deck you own. That player goes after you in the turn order and [draws an additional card each turn/can't be attacked]. {4}
The clause in purple is something I haven't decided upon yet. I want your second self to have an advantage, since this is a planeswalker ultimate and it takes time to get there, and that "player" is joining the game quite late. But I'm not sure how far to push it.
Oi, I did that earlier... Although the base P/T was 1 to fit with Experiment One. Your's is also Legendary, which can get crazy in Commander, given that you can quite easily get a 4/4 by turn 2. And you are guaranteed to have a 1/1 with Evolve on turn one.
Absorbing Wallxx2
Artifact Creature - Wall
Defender.
Absorbing Wall comes into play with X +1/+1 counters on it.
Absorbing Wall's power is always 0. If an effect would increase Absorbing Wall's power, it increases it's toughness by the same amount instead.
Absorbing Wall has Absorb X, where X is it's toughness.
0/2
---
Absorb has appeared only on Lymph Sliver so far, but the fact that the damage is flatly prevented makes it work against Infect and Wither. And it goes off for every source of damage, every time. Nigh invulnerability is far too easy for this thing, but it will never have power above zero.
That's why I highlighted that last clause in purple. I was seeking an opinion on which option I should go for. You comment leads me to believe "can't be attacked" is appropriate.
On Subject 0:
• I love cards that manage to be interesting, yet contain only keywords in their rules text.
• I hope we get a supplemental set or something someday that combines old and new guild mechanics in this way.
Wedding Ceremony1WW
Sorcery
Put two 1/1 white Citizen creature tokens onto the battlefield, then populate.
Also, that thing's flavor seems to want a bit of green. Maybe a hybrid mana symbol. As for the crunch, it's probably a bit too cheap on the mana cost, given the things that populate can pull.
Now, for the first of a small set of three cards. The names are a reference.
Thrice Burning Flame2RRW
Legendary Creature - Elemental Bird
Flying, Persist.
Unearth 4RB
When Thrice Burning Flame's Unearth cost is paid, it gets +3/+4 and Trample.
5/4 The first burning is bright and fierce, the second burning is dimmed and desperate, the third burning is blinding and reckless.
---
The off-color keyword is intentional. The bit about the second burning being desperate is a slight nod to the fact that Persist triggers again if you can remove the -1/-1 counter. It would be red/black casting cost, but giving access to +1/+1 counters on a semi-frequent basis is an intended way to keep it going more times. It may count as red/black/white for Commander, because of the Unearth cost. I do remember an example of Bosh, Iron Golem being red for Commander because of the ability.
Absorbing Wallxx2
Artifact Creature - Wall
Defender.
Absorbing Wall comes into play with X +1/+1 counters on it.
Absorbing Wall's power is always 0. If an effect would increase Absorbing Wall's power, it increases it's toughness by the same amount instead.
Absorbing Wall has Absorb X, where X is it's toughness.
0/2
---
Absorb has appeared only on Lymph Sliver so far, but the fact that the damage is flatly prevented makes it work against Infect and Wither. And it goes off for every source of damage, every time. Nigh invulnerability is far too easy for this thing, but it will never have power above zero.
On Absorbing Wall:
• Defender doesn't need a period.
• "Absorbing Wall's power is always 0" doesn't work due to the way layers determine power and toughness. Effects that set power and toughness to a specific number are applied before all other effects that change those numbers. I think the replacement effect you've suggested might be functional, though.
• Unfortunately, I believe a static ability can't grant Absorb X in this manner. Abilities being added to and removed from a creature are determined in the layer before power and toughness and thus can't reference it.
Thrice Burning Flame2RRW
Legendary Creature - Elemental Bird
Flying, Persist.
Unearth 4RB
When Thrice Burning Flame's Unearth cost is paid, it gets +3/+4 and Trample.
5/4 The first burning is bright and fierce, the second burning is dimmed and desperate, the third burning is blinding and reckless.
---
The off-color keyword is intentional. The bit about the second burning being desperate is a slight nod to the fact that Persist triggers again if you can remove the -1/-1 counter. It would be red/black casting cost, but giving access to +1/+1 counters on a semi-frequent basis is an intended way to keep it going more times. It may count as red/black/white for Commander, because of the Unearth cost. I do remember an example of Bosh, Iron Golem being red for Commander because of the ability.
On Thrice-Burning Flame:
• I'm surprised this isn't a phoenix.
• The color identity of this card, for Commander, is indeed BRW. I don't think it would be a highly desired commander, though.
• You don't need to put a period after persist, and it shouldn't be capitalized
• Final ability should be worded "When ~ ETBs, if its unearth cost was paid,, it gets +3/+3 and gains trample UEOT."
• I like the flavor quite a bit, but I have not idea what you're referencing.
My card:
Tax CollectionWU
Instant
Counter target spell unless its controller pays 2. If that player does, put a 0/3 colorless Wall artifact creature token onto the battlefield.
Tax Collection seems like a fine card mechanically, though the Wall should probably have defender. The flavor doesn't really make much sense at first blush; the counterspell part does, but it's unclear what a wall has to do with collecting taxes. I assume the idea is that's what the taxes went toward. If that's the case, I think a delayed trigger makes it read a lot better. "Counter target spell unless its controller pays 2. If that player does, put a 0/3 colorless Wall artifact creature token with defender onto the battlefield at the beginning of the next end step." Flavor text would obviously help with the concept as well.
---
Mystifying Mimic2WU Creature - Shapeshifter (R)
You may have Mystifying Mimic enter the battlefield as a copy of any creature on the battlefield, except it gains "3WU: Exile this creature, then return it to the battlefield under your control."
0/0
In regards to BRW not being good colors for a Commander, it lets you have a somewhat standard RW, RB or BW deck with a bit of utility cards from the third color. It probably would be most useful in a weenie deck, because it would give you something to do with the hoards of minions other than attack. Or a buff deck, as I'm fairly sure that the only GUB gets more synergy on buffs in a mana 'wedge', and for GUB it mostly comes from pairing Simic with Golgari. So many counters...
As for Mystifying Mimic, that's an unusual way of making a Clone that can change 'forms' at will.
Twice Striking Lightning2UUR
Legendary Creature - Elemental Bird
Flying, Flash, Undying.
Kicker 4UG
If Twice Striking Lightning's kicker cost was paid, Twice Striking Lightning gets +9/-2, Trample and Haste until end of turn.
If Twice Striking Lightning would come into play with exactly one +1/+1 counter on it, it comes into play tapped and with seven +1/+1 counters on it instead.
6/3 The first strike is swift and strong. The second strike is slow and unstoppable.
---
The kicker cost gives you a 15/1 with Flying, Haste and Trample for a turn. The Undying intended trigger makes it come into play as a tapped 13/10 with Flying. And, because of how Undying works, it can't stay dead to Infect and Wither. And if you don't get what the reference of these names are, I will tell you with the last one of the birds. Then there may come another two that I will have to think up later.
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I love Slivers, Myr, Saprolings and generally any creature type best served by spamming loads of tokens
Errrmmm... that's a pretty odd card. Admittedly, without giving your opponent instant-cast for their next spell, this is as good as instant-kill per turn, which can get way absurd. I still think this is too overpowered, but then again see Visara the Dreadful for comparison.... Who knows.
Next
Unstable Tinkerer2R
Creature - Human Artificer (U)
When Unstable Tinkerer enters the battlefield, invent. (To invent, put a colorless Gadget Equipment artifact token named "Gadget" with Equip 1 onto the battlefield)
Whenever Unstable Tinkerer deals combat damage, if it is on the battlefield, sacrifice a Gadget attached to it. If you do, Unstable Tinkerer deals 2 damage to itself and each creature or player it dealt combat damage to.
1/3
Comments?
EDIT:
Unstable Tinkerer1R
Creature - Human Artificer (U)
When Unstable Tinkerer enters the battlefield, invent. (To invent, put a colorless Gadget Equipment artifact token named "Gadget" with Equip 1 onto the battlefield)
Whenever Unstable Tinkerer deals combat damage, if it is on the battlefield, sacrifice a Gadget attached to it. If you do, Unstable Tinkerer deals 2 damage to itself and each creature or player it dealt combat damage to.
1/3
Is the intervening 'if' clause necessary here? If the tinkerer isn't on the battlefield as it resolves, any gadgets previously attached to it have since fallen off and you couldn't fulfill the requirements of the sacrifice clause anyway. I don't know if the "Each creature or player it dealt combat damage to." would work templating-wise either, besides ending a sentence with a proposition, its a bit vague. But if you ended with "this turn" it would have weird interactions with double strike / multiple combat steps, while the intent is to reference only the ones its currently dealing that combat damage. You can't say "Whenever Unstable Tinkerer deals combat damage to a creature or player" to reference them because that changes the functionality and makes it a multiple-times-per-one-attack with things like trample which isn't your intent. Not sure what the proper template would be. Maybe the way you've phrased it is grammatically incorrect but ruleswise the best.
Anyway I guess power-wise for an uncommon its basically a 3/1 in combat math for a single attack, like a spark elemental that turns into a 1/3 in following turns, thats kind of pricey for 4 mana invested. It would come down to how much value the invent mechanic and affinity could pull off in its environment. Powerwise maybe suitable for a common, but rules text is a bit too involved for that. It could use a little power buff
Frostalker1UBB
Creature - Human Assassin (R)
When Frostalker enters the battlefield, tap target creature. It doesn't untap during its controller's next untap step. T: Destroy target tapped creature.
2/2
10 mana? Seems a bit too heavy for me, but I guess it would be destructive against a monocolor player. I see this being a sideboard card, but wish the mana cost was a bit lower (8-9).
Purphoros's Forge4RRR
Enchantment RR,sacrifice an Artifact: Search your library or graveyard for an Artifact and put it on the battlefield tapped. RRRRR, sacrifice 2 Mountains: You get an emblem with "Artifacts you control are indestructible."
You may cast cards named Purphoros, God of the Forge or Hammer of Purphoros without paying their mana costs.
Really messy and random, probably unbalanced too. Still recovering from a trip I took.
Seems rather pointless, at least in Standard and Modern, where land destruction is hardly ubiquitous and in fact is rather useless. I think players would understand this better as "If ~ would be destroyed for the first time each turn, instead regenerate it."
Midnight Stalker(U/B)(U/B)
Creature — Human Assassin (C)
Mirror (If blocking or blocked by a single creature with greater power, this deals combat damage equal to that creature's power rather than its own.)
1/2
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A creature dealer any damage by a source with faze uses its power rather than toughness that turn to determine lethal damage. This applies to all damage dealt to us, not damage dealt just by sources with faze. I haven't yet found the best wording for the effect, as is evidenced by your confusion.
This is a partial cross post, in that it's making a proper card version of a token from that card
Sparkling, the Remade 1R
Legendary Creature - Elemental Shaman
Sparkling, the Remade comes into play with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the number of elemental creatures you control.
: Sparkling, the Remade deals damage equal to it's power to target creature or player.
1/1
Honden of Listening Spirits 5
Enchantment - Shrine
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a 1/1 colorless demon onto the battlefield under target opponent's control for each Shrine you control.
To the sorrow of all, they turned their ears away from those who once prayed at them.
---
It seems nonsensical on it's own, but it breaks the balence of a cycle that was balenced around having only two or three shrines.
Starvation 2GGG
Sorcery
Kicker:GG
Destroy all creatures with toughness 6 or higher. Then, creature with lowest power gains +X/+X until end of turn and fights creature with highest power, where X is equal to the difference in their convted mana costs. If Starvation was kicked, replace "toughness 6" with "toughness 4".
A combination of two cards I had for green a couple days ago. Comments?
And on top of all of that, it has a kicker effect. It really is a bit of a mess.
Lotus Keeper 1G
Creature - Human Druid
T: Put a lotus counter on ~.
T, Remove a lotus counter from ~: Add three mana of any one colour to your mana pool.
1/2
Swaying Whispers 1U
Enchantment - Aura (R)
Enchant permanent
You can activate enchanted permanent's non-mana abilities as if you controlled it. (You have to pay activation costs to do so.)
Honden of Cleansing Fire Honden of Life's Web Honden of Night's Reach
There are two more, but I can't get the link working.
In regards to Swaying Whispers, it seems kind of odd, but I can see where the use is.
More cross posts! This time with a bit more balance than where I made it.
Loquacious Infection 3UUB
Creature - Germ
Infect, First Strike
Whenever a creature with -1/-1 counters on it dies, put a copy of Loquacious Infection onto the battlefield and draw a card.
2/3
---
Seems wildly overpriced, but it makes more copies with more of them. And First Strike makes it so that it takes a 5 power creature without First Strike tto kill it.
Next
Mirroring Spite UB
Instant (U)
Choose one:
* Counter target spell if it shares a creature type with a creature on the battlefield; or,
* Destroy target creature if it shares a creature type with a spell.
"Either of you is enough."
Side note: With that wording, this card has a special interaction with tribal spells; a tribal Elf spell can allow you to kill an Elf, for example. Comments?
Chromas, God of Rainbows (R/G)(G/W)(W/U)(U/B)(B/R)(W/B)(B/G)(G/U)(U/R)(R/W)
Legendary Enchantment Creature - Elemental God
Chromas, God of Rainbows' power and toughness are equal to your devotion to every color combined.
All mana symbols count as three mana symbols of the same type for Chroma and Devotion.
All creatures get +X/+X, where X is their controller's devotion to their colors.
*/*
---
Really silly, just a way of making WUBRG devotion useable. It may make itself nigh unstoppable instantly by making itself a 120/120 if duel mana symbols count as both colors.
• I find his name to be quite silly, but from your comment I take it this is a bottom-up design anyway.
• The mana cost is fun to look at, but extremely difficult to parse. It would be better as WUBRG, or perhaps WWUUBBRRGG.
• I believe type line is too long to feasibly fit on a card. The Theros Gods had crammed type lines already.
• The first ability should probably read, "~'s power and toughness are equal to your devotion to all colors."
• The second ability seems unnecessary to me, although it's a neat concept. I'm not sure why you chose to pull Chroma in here, but unfortunately references to it don't work. It's an ability word with zero rules meaning.
• The final ability should, under Wizards' current design paradigms, affect only creatures you control.
My card is a planeswalker with an intentionally bizarre ultimate.
Echron, the Visitor 3UU
Planeswalker — Echron (M)
[+1] Choose untap, upkeep, or draw step. At the end of your second main phase this turn, you get an additional instance of the chosen step.
[0] Scry 3.
[-7] Add yourself to the game as an additional player using another deck you own. That player goes after you in the turn order and [draws an additional card each turn/can't be attacked].
{4}
The clause in purple is something I haven't decided upon yet. I want your second self to have an advantage, since this is a planeswalker ultimate and it takes time to get there, and that "player" is joining the game quite late. But I'm not sure how far to push it.
On Just Over the Hill:
• I feel I need a better understanding of the environment in which you envision this to comprehend why you've made it an enchantment with flash rather than an instant. For that matter, why does this need to be at instant speed?
• I find it awkward that this would require you to run basic lands in your sideboard in competitive events, but it would otherwise do interesting things for deckbuilding. Some of the advantage for cards that search up lands is in the deck thinning, which this doesn't provide. However, you never have to run that land in the first place, which is an interesting change in itself.
Reposting, since I got skipped.
Absorbing Wall xx2
Artifact Creature - Wall
Defender.
Absorbing Wall comes into play with X +1/+1 counters on it.
Absorbing Wall's power is always 0. If an effect would increase Absorbing Wall's power, it increases it's toughness by the same amount instead.
Absorbing Wall has Absorb X, where X is it's toughness.
0/2
---
Absorb has appeared only on Lymph Sliver so far, but the fact that the damage is flatly prevented makes it work against Infect and Wither. And it goes off for every source of damage, every time. Nigh invulnerability is far too easy for this thing, but it will never have power above zero.
On Subject 0:
• I love cards that manage to be interesting, yet contain only keywords in their rules text.
• I hope we get a supplemental set or something someday that combines old and new guild mechanics in this way.
Wedding Ceremony 1WW
Sorcery
Put two 1/1 white Citizen creature tokens onto the battlefield, then populate.
Also, that thing's flavor seems to want a bit of green. Maybe a hybrid mana symbol. As for the crunch, it's probably a bit too cheap on the mana cost, given the things that populate can pull.
Now, for the first of a small set of three cards. The names are a reference.
Thrice Burning Flame 2RRW
Legendary Creature - Elemental Bird
Flying, Persist.
Unearth 4RB
When Thrice Burning Flame's Unearth cost is paid, it gets +3/+4 and Trample.
5/4
The first burning is bright and fierce, the second burning is dimmed and desperate, the third burning is blinding and reckless.
---
The off-color keyword is intentional. The bit about the second burning being desperate is a slight nod to the fact that Persist triggers again if you can remove the -1/-1 counter. It would be red/black casting cost, but giving access to +1/+1 counters on a semi-frequent basis is an intended way to keep it going more times. It may count as red/black/white for Commander, because of the Unearth cost. I do remember an example of Bosh, Iron Golem being red for Commander because of the ability.
On Absorbing Wall:
• Defender doesn't need a period.
• "Absorbing Wall's power is always 0" doesn't work due to the way layers determine power and toughness. Effects that set power and toughness to a specific number are applied before all other effects that change those numbers. I think the replacement effect you've suggested might be functional, though.
• Unfortunately, I believe a static ability can't grant Absorb X in this manner. Abilities being added to and removed from a creature are determined in the layer before power and toughness and thus can't reference it.
On Thrice-Burning Flame:
• I'm surprised this isn't a phoenix.
• The color identity of this card, for Commander, is indeed BRW. I don't think it would be a highly desired commander, though.
• You don't need to put a period after persist, and it shouldn't be capitalized
• Final ability should be worded "When ~ ETBs, if its unearth cost was paid,, it gets +3/+3 and gains trample UEOT."
• I like the flavor quite a bit, but I have not idea what you're referencing.
My card:
Tax Collection WU
Instant
Counter target spell unless its controller pays 2. If that player does, put a 0/3 colorless Wall artifact creature token onto the battlefield.
---
Mystifying Mimic 2WU
Creature - Shapeshifter (R)
You may have Mystifying Mimic enter the battlefield as a copy of any creature on the battlefield, except it gains "3WU: Exile this creature, then return it to the battlefield under your control."
0/0
In regards to BRW not being good colors for a Commander, it lets you have a somewhat standard RW, RB or BW deck with a bit of utility cards from the third color. It probably would be most useful in a weenie deck, because it would give you something to do with the hoards of minions other than attack. Or a buff deck, as I'm fairly sure that the only GUB gets more synergy on buffs in a mana 'wedge', and for GUB it mostly comes from pairing Simic with Golgari. So many counters...
As for Mystifying Mimic, that's an unusual way of making a Clone that can change 'forms' at will.
Twice Striking Lightning 2UUR
Legendary Creature - Elemental Bird
Flying, Flash, Undying.
Kicker 4UG
If Twice Striking Lightning's kicker cost was paid, Twice Striking Lightning gets +9/-2, Trample and Haste until end of turn.
If Twice Striking Lightning would come into play with exactly one +1/+1 counter on it, it comes into play tapped and with seven +1/+1 counters on it instead.
6/3
The first strike is swift and strong. The second strike is slow and unstoppable.
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The kicker cost gives you a 15/1 with Flying, Haste and Trample for a turn. The Undying intended trigger makes it come into play as a tapped 13/10 with Flying. And, because of how Undying works, it can't stay dead to Infect and Wither. And if you don't get what the reference of these names are, I will tell you with the last one of the birds. Then there may come another two that I will have to think up later.
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Unstable Tinkerer 2R
Creature - Human Artificer (U)
When Unstable Tinkerer enters the battlefield, invent. (To invent, put a colorless Gadget Equipment artifact token named "Gadget" with Equip 1 onto the battlefield)
Whenever Unstable Tinkerer deals combat damage, if it is on the battlefield, sacrifice a Gadget attached to it. If you do, Unstable Tinkerer deals 2 damage to itself and each creature or player it dealt combat damage to.
1/3
Comments?
EDIT:
Unstable Tinkerer 1R
Creature - Human Artificer (U)
When Unstable Tinkerer enters the battlefield, invent. (To invent, put a colorless Gadget Equipment artifact token named "Gadget" with Equip 1 onto the battlefield)
Whenever Unstable Tinkerer deals combat damage, if it is on the battlefield, sacrifice a Gadget attached to it. If you do, Unstable Tinkerer deals 2 damage to itself and each creature or player it dealt combat damage to.
1/3
Anyway I guess power-wise for an uncommon its basically a 3/1 in combat math for a single attack, like a spark elemental that turns into a 1/3 in following turns, thats kind of pricey for 4 mana invested. It would come down to how much value the invent mechanic and affinity could pull off in its environment. Powerwise maybe suitable for a common, but rules text is a bit too involved for that. It could use a little power buff
Frostalker 1UBB
Creature - Human Assassin (R)
When Frostalker enters the battlefield, tap target creature. It doesn't untap during its controller's next untap step.
T: Destroy target tapped creature.
2/2
Purphoros's Forge 4RRR
Enchantment
RR,sacrifice an Artifact: Search your library or graveyard for an Artifact and put it on the battlefield tapped.
RRRRR, sacrifice 2 Mountains: You get an emblem with "Artifacts you control are indestructible."
You may cast cards named Purphoros, God of the Forge or Hammer of Purphoros without paying their mana costs.
Really messy and random, probably unbalanced too. Still recovering from a trip I took.
Midnight Stalker (U/B)(U/B)
Creature — Human Assassin (C)
Mirror (If blocking or blocked by a single creature with greater power, this deals combat damage equal to that creature's power rather than its own.)
1/2