Stormspire Taskmaster (Common) R
Creature – Orc
1/1
When Stormspire Taskmaster enters the battlefield, target creature gains haste this turn. Orc say. Goblin do.
Magma Geyser (Common) R
Enchantment – Aura
Enchant land
Whenever a player taps enchanted land for mana, that player adds an additional R to his or her mana pool and Magma Geyser deals 1 damage to that player. Pain is a price I’m more than willing to pay for the power it provides. - Sorcerella
Goblin Flamethrower (Rare) R
Creature – Goblin
1/1
When Goblin Flamethrower enters the battlefield you may pay X. If you do, it deals X damage to X target creatures.
Sorcerella (Mythic) RR
Legendary Creature – Human Wizard
1/2
Haste 2RR, T: Search your library for a sorcery card with converted mana cost 3 or less and cast it without paying its mana cost. If it has X in its mana cost, X is equal to 3. Activate this ability only any time you could cast a sorcery. (Then shuffle your library.) She puts the “source” in sorcery.
World’s End (Uncommon) XXR
Sorcery
Destroy X target nonbasic lands.
Mindstorm (Rare) 3RRR
Sorcery
Each player reveals his or her hand. You may copy up to one sorcery card in each hand. If you do, you may cast each copy without paying its mana cost.
Stormspire Keep (Mythic)
Legendary Land T: Add R to your mana pool for each spell you cast this turn. Activate this ability only any time you could cast an instant. Stormspire Keep has endured countless storms. Most of them created by the keep itself.
I care less about us making mistakes that lead to degenerate environments than I am when we don’t push ourselves and make something that’s boring to play. - MaRo
Whip-Cracker Orc: i don't like this because, as a turn-1 drop, it kills itself. It should be a 'you may' ability.
Goblin Flamethrower: As a rare, it should definitely say: it deals X damage to up to X target creatures.
Sorcerella: Needs to tap to use that broken ability.
Mindstorm: Needs to cost 6 or 7 CMC.
Stormspire Keep: Absolutely unnecessary. The Urza block taught us (and WotC) that lands that do this kind of thing are broken. Upping the rarity does nothing to help it, and, if anything, makes it worse.
Dahammer4
Artifact - Equipment (R)
Choose one - Equipped creature gets +4/+0; or Double Strike; or "When this creature deals combat damage to a creature, exile that creature"; or t, unattach ~ from this creature: ~ deals 5 damage to target creature." t: Equipped creature gains flying until end of turn.
Equip 3
Sorcerella would be ridiculous if it tapped to use its ability, cost twice as much, didn't let you cast it for free, and tutored to your hand. As it is, it's just completely unjustifiably overpowered.
Goblin Flamethrower: The wording is intentional. It's intended to have a minor drawback akin to Hex.
Sorcerella: She taps now and the ability can only be activated as a sorcery.
Mindstorm: Increased mana cost by R. I realize that Reversal of Fortune costs 4RR, but it's also unplayable. I also changed it slightly so that it gets one sorcery from each player's hand, instead of all from one opponent.
Stormspire Keep: I see it as totally necessary. As far as the Urza lands are concerned, red got the shaft. Also, read my sig.
I care less about us making mistakes that lead to degenerate environments than I am when we don’t push ourselves and make something that’s boring to play. - MaRo
Stormspire Keep: I see it as totally necessary. As far as the Urza lands are concerned, red got the shaft. Also, read my sig.
Well, if you want to re-print a version of the broken urza lands in your set, be my guest; just be prepared to take some crap from poeple who think its OP (like me). As for your sig, this is neither the time nor place to discuss Mark and his bone-headed ideals and i really don't want to get into it.
Dahammer4
Artifact - Equipment (R)
Choose one - Equipped creature gets +4/+0; or Double Strike; or "When this creature deals combat damage to a creature, exile that creature"; or t, unattach ~ from this creature: ~ deals 5 damage to target creature." t: Equipped creature gains flying until end of turn.
Equip 3
Whip-Cracker Orc - interesting nontribal Raging Goblin. The flavor is a little odd that he can self-flagellate, but meh. The name is a little awkward to say, specifically the "er Orc". It could simplified to just "Whip Cracker" or inverted to "Orcish Whipcracker".
Magma Geyser - There is a lot of design space in this kind of card in red. My favorite that I have made is just a red Wild Growth with the added line "Enchanted land is a Mountain".
I've taken to wording Auras like Wild Growth like more global enchantments like Heartbeat of Spring, mostly because it is cleaner, but the small tiny miniscule added benefit from working with Piracy is nice too. For example, this would be:
Whenever a player taps enchanted land for mana, that player adds an additional R to his or her mana pool and CARDNAME deals 1 damage to him or her.
Goblin Flamethrower -
I think that technically permanents can't remember a value of X like this, which is why the few cards like Rise of the Hobgoblins are worded like they are. I also think that the few kicker cards with X like Verdeloth the Ancient show that they could easily if the rules were adjusted. Taj-Nar Swordsmith could easily be X3W if you didn't mind it not working with Elvish Piper among other cards.
However, all that being said, this particular card should be worded with the X in the triggered ability because of the "X target creatures" restriction. This has wonky rules problems if you pay X greater than the number of creatures or you choose your X and then someone else removes creatures in response making the trigger unusable. For example, if an opponent has three creatures and you have none, you could cast this with X equal to 4 knowing you would be able to target this creature and the other three, but if your opponent Unsummons one of his creatures before this creature enters, then the trigger with X equal to 4 can't even be put onto the stack because of the Hex problem.
This should be worded like Taj-Nar Swordsmith:
When Goblin Flamethrower enters the battlefield, you may pay X. If you do, it deals X damage to X target creatures.
I burn.
This way, you choose the number of targets as you put the ability on the stack, then you decide if you want to pay X as the ability resolves.
Sorcerella - Pretty ridiculous. Could have a severe extra cost and still be really good. It needs some kind of limitation.
XRR,T: Search your library for a sorcery card with converted mana cost X or less. You may cast it without paying its mana cost. If it has X in its mana cost, X is equal to X. (Then shuffle your library.) Activate this ability only any time you could cast a sorcery.
2RR,T: Search your library for a sorcery card with converted mana cost 3 or less and cast it without paying its mana cost. If it has X in its mana cost, X is equal to 3. (Then shuffle your library.)
World’s End - How was Orcish Settlers when it was in standard? I'm not sure it would be good to have a card like that in a new set. How about XXR with "Destroy X target nonbasic lands." I'd feel a lot safer about that because it gives a metagame answer to it by allowing players to run more basic lands if there are any fast/infinite-ish mana decks that abuse it.
Mindstorm - As it is currently worded, you have to find a sorcery card in each players hand or you can't cast any of them. I'm assuming that is not the intent. What if it was just what Reversal of Fortune maybe should have been: like Mindleech Mass.
4RR
Sorcery
Each opponent reveals his or her hand. You may cast an instant or sorcery card from one of those hands without paying its mana cost.
Stormspire Keep - Does this need the Charmed Pendant timing so that player's aren't confused about when a spell has actually been cast? You can't, for example, use it to pay for the first spell that you cast in a turn. Also, if it is intended to be part of the cycle with Tolarian Academy and Gaea's Cradle, then shouldn't it only count the spells that you have cast this turn?
t: Add R to your mana pool for each spell you have cast this turn. Activate this ability only any time you could cast an instant.
I'm not sure if that applies for this kind of ability. And in this particular case, choosing the value of X before you choose the X targets leads to an unintuitive outcome if X ends up being greater than the number of targetable creatures.
Wow, thanks for all the excellent input Silvercut. I took pretty much all of your advice. Sorcerella was supposed to have a restriction originally, not sure how missed that (also reduced her power from 2 to 1 and made her human). I want so badly to give her protection from red. Would that be too much? (Nevermind, gave her haste instead.) Changed the Orc's name to something less literal and more flavorful - no more self flagellation. Technical tweaks made. (I didn't do any record keeping in the op because this laptop is terrible to work on as it is.)
I care less about us making mistakes that lead to degenerate environments than I am when we don’t push ourselves and make something that’s boring to play. - MaRo
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R
Creature – Orc
1/1
When Stormspire Taskmaster enters the battlefield, target creature gains haste this turn.
Orc say. Goblin do.
Magma Geyser (Common)
R
Enchantment – Aura
Enchant land
Whenever a player taps enchanted land for mana, that player adds an additional R to his or her mana pool and Magma Geyser deals 1 damage to that player.
Pain is a price I’m more than willing to pay for the power it provides. - Sorcerella
Goblin Flamethrower (Rare)
R
Creature – Goblin
1/1
When Goblin Flamethrower enters the battlefield you may pay X. If you do, it deals X damage to X target creatures.
Sorcerella (Mythic)
RR
Legendary Creature – Human Wizard
1/2
Haste
2RR, T: Search your library for a sorcery card with converted mana cost 3 or less and cast it without paying its mana cost. If it has X in its mana cost, X is equal to 3. Activate this ability only any time you could cast a sorcery. (Then shuffle your library.)
She puts the “source” in sorcery.
World’s End (Uncommon)
XXR
Sorcery
Destroy X target nonbasic lands.
Mindstorm (Rare)
3RRR
Sorcery
Each player reveals his or her hand. You may copy up to one sorcery card in each hand. If you do, you may cast each copy without paying its mana cost.
Stormspire Keep (Mythic)
Legendary Land
T: Add R to your mana pool for each spell you cast this turn. Activate this ability only any time you could cast an instant.
Stormspire Keep has endured countless storms. Most of them created by the keep itself.
Goblin Flamethrower: As a rare, it should definitely say: it deals X damage to up to X target creatures.
Sorcerella: Needs to tap to use that broken ability.
Mindstorm: Needs to cost 6 or 7 CMC.
Stormspire Keep: Absolutely unnecessary. The Urza block taught us (and WotC) that lands that do this kind of thing are broken. Upping the rarity does nothing to help it, and, if anything, makes it worse.
Sigpic by Rivenor
Artifact - Equipment (R)
Choose one - Equipped creature gets +4/+0; or Double Strike; or "When this creature deals combat damage to a creature, exile that creature"; or t, unattach ~ from this creature: ~ deals 5 damage to target creature."
t: Equipped creature gains flying until end of turn.
Equip 3
Courtesy of Crepes
[OMC] Omerium's Collapse
R Citizen Cane (Feldon of the Third Path)
Ahem: 2RR:
Cruel Ultimatum
Violent Ultamatum
Dragonstorm
Insurrection
And those are all from your deck, so you don't even need to find them first.
Mindstorm: Reversal of Fortune costs 6, and only does that for one spell.
Lyzolda, the Blood Witch | Maga, Traitor to Mortals | Mayael the Anima | Rafiq of the Many | Rhys the Redeemed
Sasaya, Oorochi Ascendant | Sygg, River Cutthroat | Thada Adel, Acquisitor | Ulamog, the Infinite Gyre
Goblin Flamethrower: The wording is intentional. It's intended to have a minor drawback akin to Hex.
Sorcerella: She taps now and the ability can only be activated as a sorcery.
Mindstorm: Increased mana cost by R. I realize that Reversal of Fortune costs 4RR, but it's also unplayable. I also changed it slightly so that it gets one sorcery from each player's hand, instead of all from one opponent.
Stormspire Keep: I see it as totally necessary. As far as the Urza lands are concerned, red got the shaft. Also, read my sig.
R Citizen Cane (Feldon of the Third Path)
Well, if you want to re-print a version of the broken urza lands in your set, be my guest; just be prepared to take some crap from poeple who think its OP (like me). As for your sig, this is neither the time nor place to discuss Mark and his bone-headed ideals and i really don't want to get into it.
Sigpic by Rivenor
Artifact - Equipment (R)
Choose one - Equipped creature gets +4/+0; or Double Strike; or "When this creature deals combat damage to a creature, exile that creature"; or t, unattach ~ from this creature: ~ deals 5 damage to target creature."
t: Equipped creature gains flying until end of turn.
Equip 3
Courtesy of Crepes
[OMC] Omerium's Collapse
Magma Geyser - There is a lot of design space in this kind of card in red. My favorite that I have made is just a red Wild Growth with the added line "Enchanted land is a Mountain".
I've taken to wording Auras like Wild Growth like more global enchantments like Heartbeat of Spring, mostly because it is cleaner, but the small tiny miniscule added benefit from working with Piracy is nice too. For example, this would be:
Whenever a player taps enchanted land for mana, that player adds an additional R to his or her mana pool and CARDNAME deals 1 damage to him or her.
Goblin Flamethrower -
However, all that being said, this particular card should be worded with the X in the triggered ability because of the "X target creatures" restriction. This has wonky rules problems if you pay X greater than the number of creatures or you choose your X and then someone else removes creatures in response making the trigger unusable. For example, if an opponent has three creatures and you have none, you could cast this with X equal to 4 knowing you would be able to target this creature and the other three, but if your opponent Unsummons one of his creatures before this creature enters, then the trigger with X equal to 4 can't even be put onto the stack because of the Hex problem.
When Goblin Flamethrower enters the battlefield, you may pay X. If you do, it deals X damage to X target creatures.
I burn.
This way, you choose the number of targets as you put the ability on the stack, then you decide if you want to pay X as the ability resolves.
Sorcerella - Pretty ridiculous. Could have a severe extra cost and still be really good. It needs some kind of limitation.
XRR,T: Search your library for a sorcery card with converted mana cost X or less. You may cast it without paying its mana cost. If it has X in its mana cost, X is equal to X. (Then shuffle your library.) Activate this ability only any time you could cast a sorcery.
2RR,T: Search your library for a sorcery card with converted mana cost 3 or less and cast it without paying its mana cost. If it has X in its mana cost, X is equal to 3. (Then shuffle your library.)
World’s End - How was Orcish Settlers when it was in standard? I'm not sure it would be good to have a card like that in a new set. How about XXR with "Destroy X target nonbasic lands." I'd feel a lot safer about that because it gives a metagame answer to it by allowing players to run more basic lands if there are any fast/infinite-ish mana decks that abuse it.
Mindstorm - As it is currently worded, you have to find a sorcery card in each players hand or you can't cast any of them. I'm assuming that is not the intent. What if it was just what Reversal of Fortune maybe should have been: like Mindleech Mass.
4RR
Sorcery
Each opponent reveals his or her hand. You may cast an instant or sorcery card from one of those hands without paying its mana cost.
Stormspire Keep - Does this need the Charmed Pendant timing so that player's aren't confused about when a spell has actually been cast? You can't, for example, use it to pay for the first spell that you cast in a turn. Also, if it is intended to be part of the cycle with Tolarian Academy and Gaea's Cradle, then shouldn't it only count the spells that you have cast this turn?
t: Add R to your mana pool for each spell you have cast this turn. Activate this ability only any time you could cast an instant.
I want so badly to give her protection from red. Would that be too much?(Nevermind, gave her haste instead.) Changed the Orc's name to something less literal and more flavorful - no more self flagellation. Technical tweaks made. (I didn't do any record keeping in the op because this laptop is terrible to work on as it is.)