Surprisingly (for me), only a couple of these were actually top-down (name or concept first) designs.
Children of Lilith :symb::symb::symb::symb:
Creature – Demon
5/5
Protection from Angels
:symb::symb::symb::symb:, Pay 4 life: Remove the top 4 cards of your library from the game, then reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a card named Children of Lilith. Put that card into play and remove the other cards from the game. Play this ability only if Children of Lilith is in your library.
[probably opens up all sorts of rules problems...oh well. I wanted a creature that could demonic consultation for itself!]
Fetid Swarm :1mana::symb::symb:
Creature – Insect
3/1
When Fetid Swarm comes into play, sacrifice a creature and put X 1/1 black Insect creature tokens into play, where X is the sacrificed creature’s power.
Malevolent Assassin :2mana::symb:
Creature – Assassin
2/1
When Malevolent Assassin comes into play, you may destroy target 1/1 or 2/2 creature. It can’t be regenerated.
Skullmaggot
Creature – Insect
1/1
Whenever a player discards a card, Skullmaggot gets +1/+1 until end of turn.
[has this been done before? feels like it...]
Imp’s Prize :1mana::symb:
Enchantment – Aura
Enchant Creature
When Imp’s Prize comes into play, target player discards a card.
Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 and has flying.
:symb:, Sacrifice Imp’s Prize: Draw a card.
Crawling Undeath :2mana::symb::symb:
Enchantment – Aura
Enchant creature
When Crawling Undeath comes into play, return a creature card from your graveyard to play. If that creature is put into a graveyard from play, remove it and enchanted creature from the game.
[I]Beware raising the dead, lest they drag you back whence they came.[/I]
Heebie-Jeebies :5mana::symb:
Creature – Horror
1/1
Fear
Heebie-Jeebies costs 1 less to play for each card in target opponent’s hand.
Heebie-Jeebies gets +5/+3 if an opponent has no cards in hand.
[I just love this card's name. I actually came up with it after the fact. I like that this is basically a 1/1 fear one-drop, that can maybe be a nuts fattie]
Comments and critiques please! I'm pretty proud of this mix of cards. I like how black is shaping up for the set I'm working on. (more on that later...)
Children of Lilith :symb::symb::symb::symb:
Creature – Demon
5/5
Protection from Angels
:symb::symb::symb::symb:, Pay 4 life: Remove the top 4 cards of your library from the game, then reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a card named Children of Lilith. Put that card into play and remove the other cards from the game. Play this ability only if Children of Lilith is in your library.
Pretty easy to explain why it doesnt work.
Just imagine i use the ability, as i "think" it is in my library, but it isnt, so i cant use an ability of something nobody can confirm actually exists, thats why you have to reveal a Morph at the end of an game, just to confirm you not cheated a card into play (and if it is not a Morph card you might end with some problems if you cant show Ixidron was involved).
So however, their still is a way to get your card working.
A solution is to make another card with the ability, so lets say the Land can fetch for it. Another is to make it like the Wurm, if you are searching your library you may play it.
Another is that you make it with:
Children of Lilith :symb::symb::symb::symb:
Creature – Demon
Protection from Angels
As long as ~ is removed from the game you may pay :symb::symb::symb::symb: and 4 life, than remove the top 4 cards of your library from the game, then reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a card named Children of Lilith. Put that card into play and remove the other cards from the game. 5/5
Something like that so you could have it in the SideBoard and grant the Ability to get the others in your library.
However executing this to actually work is the real problem of the card and their are other solutions that might work better, but its pretty much impossible to play an ability without somehow revealing the card or at least make sure it exists as you cant do something without the source.
Pretty easy to explain why it doesnt work.
Just imagine i use the ability, as i "think" it is in my library, but it isnt, so i cant use an ability of something nobody can confirm actually exists, thats why you have to reveal a Morph at the end of an game, just to confirm you not cheated a card into play (and if it is not a Morph card you might end with some problems if you cant show Ixidron was involved).
Well I was thinking of that, but perhaps your example is part of the solution too. If you play the ability, but there isn't one in your library, you lose the game - like if it was discovered your face-down card wasn't really a morph creature. And if you play the ability and there isn't one in your library (either because there never was or because it got removed in the top 4 cards), you will remove your library from the game anyway, right?
But I mean, how does the rule that you need to confirm something exists before playing its ability work with morph?
Also, I like your final suggestion, the "as long as ~ is removed from the game" ability. It isn't nearly as cool as the original, but it might work if I can't get away with the "play from library" ability.
shameless (shameful?) bump, because these cards are gettin no attention
Would your Children of Lilith suggestion ("as long as ~ is removed from the game") work just like the Wishes? As in, casual players wouldn't need to worry about children of lilith in their sideboard but rather just play the ability from their collection?
Still wouldn't be as awesome as I had envisioned the original ability, but may just be close enough.
Any thoughts on the other cards? For rarities, I was thinking that the demon Children and Heebie-Jeebies would be rare, the assassin and Crawling Undeath would be uncommon, and the rest would be common. Or is fetid swarm too complicated for common? (I don't think it is...)
p.s. and a new card!
Order of Azmodan :symb::symb:
Creature - Knight
2/2
First Strike
Order of Azmodan has Protection from white and from green as long as you control a black enchantment.
I also want to make a black weenie that can give burn fits, but it hasn't quite materialized yet. The 2-drop slot for black is probably going to be taken by this knight.
Well I was thinking of that, but perhaps your example is part of the solution too. If you play the ability, but there isn't one in your library, you lose the game - like if it was discovered your face-down card wasn't really a morph creature. And if you play the ability and there isn't one in your library (either because there never was or because it got removed in the top 4 cards), you will remove your library from the game anyway, right?
But I mean, how does the rule that you need to confirm something exists before playing its ability work with morph?
The thing is that their allways must be a source for an effect. I cant just sacrifice something because i want to, it has to have a way that makes me ble to sacrifice it.
The same is for life, i cant just say, ok i pay 19 life, their must be something that lets me pay that life.
And if you want this card to search for itself, their is nothing that makes sure you are "allowed" to do that and so you cant say "YOu lose the game", simply because their is nothing that makes you lose the game and their are very much ways that you might use the ability and randomly cant find it, maybe because it got removed or whatever.
Morph on the other side is something you clearly see yourself that you can play it as morph, you dont play the card out of your library or another hidden zone, and if you play something as Morph that cant be played as morph the "tournament" rulez actually give you the Match lost or even cheating, the thing is more or less every card can be Morph "somehow" and you can allways look at the Morph cards of your own to "confirm" its a card with morph to "check" yourself.
For the library that is simply not true, as i am not allowed to look at my library just because i want to.
So i cant see a possible solution for an ability, ofcourse outside of Un-Sets, where you easy can create a card that you can play out of your library.
Children of Lilith = I think the "searches for itself" mechanic could work fine, but you could always word it like Panglacial Wurm if you wanted to.
Fetid Swarm = I really like this. It's awesome!
Malevolent Assassin = Weird criteria, there. Not necessarily a bad kind of weird, either.
Skullmaggot = Seems familiar to me as well, but I can't remember anything in particular. Anyway, it looks good to me.
Imp's Prize = I think this does a little too much for the cost.
Crawling Undeath = I like the flavor, here. Alternate/spin-off idea ahead:
Crawling Undeath 2B
Instant
Each player may return a creature card from his or her graveyard to play. Those creatures gain haste. At end of turn, each player sacrifices two creatures.
Heebie-Jeebies = Cool and interesting card, overall. I was thinking it might be cool to give it a specter ability as well, but then that's probably overburdening the card with abilities.
I have to agree with TheOnlyOne652089. Panglacial Wurm only works because a different card allows you to search your library. Anyway, the idea needs soem modifications to work within the rules.
OK, now the gloves come off. Magic is a game of entertainment. I purchase the game as a consumer with all the rights and abilities therein. If I do not like it, I am not required to try the new alternative (i.e. M10 rules changes). So stating, implying, or otherwise referencing to my opinion as less than whole is not wise.
It is an uneducated opinion, and you were quitting anyway, so WoTC, and none of us, care.
This is the kind of treatment you can look forward to here.
...and if you play something as Morph that cant be played as morph the "tournament" rulez actually give you the Match lost or even cheating,
but isn't that just the solution? this is what I was trying to get at earlier. Can't we just assume that there would be tournament rules that say "hey if you try to play this card's ability out of your deck and it turns out it never existed, you lose for cheating" ?? The card's current text takes care of any other problems. It is just like with morph: you technically can "get away" with playing a non-morph card facedown for 3 - but you only get away with it until the card needs to be flipped or the game ends, at which point everyone sees what you did and you lose. Same with this: you can "play" the ability but if it turns out it isn't in your library, hey you're a cheater and you lose the match for it.
Scuirimancer! Thanks for posting!
fetid swarm - thanks! think it's alright as a common?
malevolent assassin - yeah, I'm not totally in love with this, but I want him to hate things that aren't quite his size, if that makes any sense. I feel like this could potentially be very playable though.
imp's prize - I costed it based on Unhinge - you pay a little more (1BB vs 2B) to get the immediate effect, but in addition this encourages you to actually play the aura. I suppose the sacrifice cost could be increased to 2?
I really like your alternate crawling undeath! Really punishes players without dead creatures too.
heebie-jeebies - you're right, a specter ability would be incredibly synergistic. but maybe, uh, too "easy"/obvious? It would sort of remind me of those kamigawa flip legends with activated abilities to cause the flip.
but isn't that just the solution? this is what I was trying to get at earlier. Can't we just assume that there would be tournament rules that say "hey if you try to play this card's ability out of your deck and it turns out it never existed, you lose for cheating" ?? The card's current text takes care of any other problems. It is just like with morph: you technically can "get away" with playing a non-morph card facedown for 3 - but you only get away with it until the card needs to be flipped or the game ends, at which point everyone sees what you did and you lose. Same with this: you can "play" the ability but if it turns out it isn't in your library, hey you're a cheater and you lose the match for it.
The thing i tryd to say is that with Morph the player who plays a creature Morph allways can check that it really has Morph, and if a player plays a card with Morph which has not, that is simply cheating and they are responsible for what they have done.
For your "search" part players cant know the card is really in the library until they search it, and by than they allready cheated, so its a ability that makes people cheat even if they dont want to, and that is an impossible thing.
Beside that i tryd to say that you have to have a source that allows you to do something, and if you just search your library to find out you normally could not, thats simply impossible junk.
Just imagine for the same you have a card that says:
Example Card 5R
Instant
As long as ~ is in your library, double each damage from sources you control.
Here you might see what the problem is with abilities that are not "visible" and able to confirm they even exist.
If such a card exists i could simply say i have 4 of them in my library and kill you first turn with a Lava Spike (3*2*2*2*2 making 48 damage rofl).
And how we want to proof it? i would have to search my library and show them to you, than shuffle my library again, but the problem actually is that if they dont exist i just shuffled my library with no effect that allows me to, and that alone is the problem, the game doesnt allow you to do things without a source that makes you do it, and Morph has a rulez entry that allows you to do what you want, but only because the player that plays the Morph can allways look at it and allways sees the card they are playing in every time, so they can see their mistake before it becomes a problem.
The possible solutions all need that you have somehow, something that allows you to search for the card if its in a hidden zone, for the Wurm it simply works because you are searching your library, and so your library is no longer "hidden" for you, you can simply confirm the wurm exists by yourself, you cant play the Wurm just out of your library because that wouldnt work.
For your "search" part players cant know the card is really in the library until they search it, and by than they allready cheated, so its a ability that makes people cheat even if they dont want to, and that is an impossible thing.
That's a good point. On the other hand, if there is any color that would like to make its player cheat even if they don't want to, it's black.
I'm probably going to go with your "play if ~ is removed from the game" ability. In competitive play, it is nearly the same as long as you have one copy in your sideboard. (Except now only 3 copies to search for in your deck.) That also makes the card slightly weaker, but not by much, and it still feels fun and exciting. Thanks for the suggestion!
fetid swarm - thanks! think it's alright as a common?
Yeah. I think it feels more like an uncommon, but common is not too much of a stretch. Having tried to make a set myself, I learned that it's really hard to fill out the commons if you're too strict about these things.
malevolent assassin - yeah, I'm not totally in love with this, but I want him to hate things that aren't quite his size, if that makes any sense. I feel like this could potentially be very playable though.
I like how it encourages you to micromanage power and toughness. There's plenty of 1/1s and 2/2s out there. So it's usually going to be useful, regardless.
Order of Azmodan = I guess I missed this one. :3 I like how it relies on an enchantment for full effect. Has a nice flavor to it, like it benefits from the evil taint of black magic.
I agree 100% on the common/uncommon thing. And no one likes designing filler, so at some point some uncommons have to get pushed down to common.
azmodan - thanks, that's the concept I was thinking of too. My only "beef" with the finished design is that it combines a lot of not-traditionally-black abilities: first strike, protection, and enchantment-loving. But the original black knight provides precedence and Evershrike says black likes enchantments too, I suppose.
Fetid Swarm :1mana::symb::symb:
Creature – Insect
3/1
When Fetid Swarm comes into play, sacrifice a creature and put X 1/1 black Insect creature tokens into play, where X is the sacrificed creature’s power.
Powerfull card for Limited, the thing is that its actually a pretty much better "dragon Fodder" especially for sets that can cheat a little with it, get it back with Gravediggers and such.
For the wording i would avoid the use of X if the card has no X in the cost.
Making it to:
Fetid Swarm :1mana::symb::symb:
Creature – Insect
When Fetid Swarm comes into play, sacrifice a creature and a number of 1/1 black Insect creature tokens into play equal to the sacrificed creature’s power.
3/1
Like it more just because the X should somehow have a value with the spell, looking for Fireballs and the like.
However their are several possible ways to change the card a little, depends all on the set and the abilities it might get from them.
I might make some examples:
Infected Corpse 2:symb::symb:
Creature – Zombie
When ~ comes into play, destroy target non-insect creature and put a number of 1/1 black Insect creature tokens into play under that players controll equal to the sacrificed creature’s power.
Exhume - Sacrifice a non-insect creature
3/1
Funny thing is the card works pretty good with Exhume, somehow i get a cool feeling imagine to see a creature and Insects crawl out of it like an "Alien" killing the creature, so it can easy come back from the dead especially as a bunch of Insects infect "corpses" anyway especially in graveyard its what i imagine thinking about them.
However flavourwise i made the card itself a Zombie, that will Infect something or itself with the Insects "larves" that will kill the victim.
This makes the card into a "Nekrataal" flavoured combination of "Mercy Killing" and a Infected Zombie.
Powerwise you can get much out of it, its for sure a source of massive tokens if used togetether with Nantuko Husk for example you can get a extrem bomb out of it, imagine szenario:
Play it eat it, get 3 tokens, eat the tokens with Husk attack for 8, eat another creature for Exhume, eat the Infected Zombie with Husk, destroy the Husk, and get 10 tokens. Might be one of the best uses of it, but sounds effektive enough to make a lot of tokens and its even strong enough just to kill a bunch of creatures with it of your opponent.
Malevolent Assassin :2mana::symb:
Creature – Assassin
When Malevolent Assassin comes into play, you may destroy target 1/1 or 2/2 creature. It can’t be regenerated.
2/1
Its strange to have a "focus" on 1/1 and 2/2, normally the card would read "power 2 or less" and call it done as this card is only "viable" if your set has a bunch of 1/1 and 2/2, which should not just be tokens, might be cool if you have a set that has a lot of 2/2 in green and white, red and black should get than more 3/1 and the like so it becomes a card that fits in the set.
Beside that is ok, but it still needs a "race", as Assassin alone is not "allowed" (which is a job, race alone is ok, the only exception is Arcanis as the flavourtext "forces" it).
And being a Assassin Nekrataal like, i would just add first strike flavourwise, making it stronger too.
Skullmaggot
Creature – Insect
Whenever a player discards a card, Skullmaggot gets +1/+1 until end of turn.
1/1
Theirs a random flyer that makes the job, but however the effect is most the time junky, simply because black has the "shade" ability which is way more efficient to get +1/+1 for just a black mana, beside that it allows pretty nasty "combos" as you look for every player, using the Tolarian Wind like effects to make it bigger and bigger.
Just some cards i think of:
Wheel of Fortune, Windfall, Tolarian Winds, LifeFromtheLoam + Cycling Lands.
So i dont know if i would like such a card at a low cost of just 1 black, might be better to use +1/+1 counters, make it cost a lot more and give it something more to be "cool".
Ravaging Brainbug 1:symb::symb::symb:
Creature – Insect
Whenever a opponent discards a card, put a +1/+1 counter on ~.
When ~ is put into a graveyard from play, discard a card.
Persist
4/2
Though guy, combines Persist with the +1/+1 counter to become "semi" invinsible and possible offers a lot of damage if you run enough discard to fuel it (best with a 5 mana Mind Sludge after it or something).
P/T in flavour of Giant Cockroach.
Imp’s Prize :1mana::symb:
Enchantment – Aura
Enchant Creature
When Imp’s Prize comes into play, target player discards a card.
Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 and has flying.
:symb:, Sacrifice Imp’s Prize: Draw a card.
Dont know, but feels a bit strange with the cantrip.
The power is for sure good for Limited, making your creature +1/+1 and flying is ok enough, with the discard added its worth to play it nearly allways in a black deck.
The cantrip is just the overkill and feels odd and not needed.
Would change the card a little to:
Imp’s Prize :1mana::symb:
Enchantment – Aura
Enchant Creature
When Imp’s Prize comes into play, each player discards a card.
Enchanted creature gets +1/-1 and has flying and can't block.
Making the card "each" player allows it to play a role together with black abilities that work form the graveyard, or Madness, black has enough use of the graveyard and the +1/-1 makes the card stronger if you want it to kill something, the cant block makes it a usefull card against a big blocker, so all together a fair trade of for everyone and still a card that can easy find its place in a Limited Deck that can have flexible use of it.
Heebie-Jeebies :5mana::symb:
Creature – Horror
Fear
Heebie-Jeebies costs 1 less to play for each card in target opponent’s hand.
Heebie-Jeebies gets +5/+3 if an opponent has no cards in hand.
1/1
However this card can be a Limited "bomb" just because its a 1 drop that costs 6, just look back in time, if the set has a mechanic that looks for converted manacost, such cards are king, thats the only reason they printed a bunch of morph cards that just turn into cards with a big manacost.
The +5/+3 looks random big, for my taste it makes more sence to turn it into another "iconic" black card, lets say a Pit Lord or something.
So lets go the way of changing the card for more flavour points:
Heebie-Jeebies 7
Creature – Horror
Heebie-Jeebies costs 1 less to play for each card in an opponents hand.
As long as an opponent has no cards in hand, ~ gets +5/+5, flying and trample and has "At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice a creature other than ~. If you can't, ~ deals 7 damage to you."
2/1
This way its more or less "at least" a 2/1 for just 1 black if everything works out as you want to, and for today thats not "broken" anymore as nearly every 1 drop is somehow 2 power or potentially more powerfull like Figure of Destiny, Tarmagoyf and all that guys.
However the flavour of the card is huge, it will be a a simpel 2/1 in Limited and your goal is to get the hand of your opponent to 0 as fast as possible so you get your Lord of the Pit with discount and most important, everytime your opponent draws the card it will turn into the small 2/1 again, so its not that cool blocker and your opponent can use it to give you the sacrifice than draw a card with say Senseis Divining Top, it turns out that the card offers a lot of "shapeshifting" for a black card.
Simply because "shapeshifting" is a extrem cool ability, and yes i like Paraon of the Amesha and its red friend, the design is just one of the most flavourfull you can do (even Sarkhan Vol summoning the 5 Dragons, its just that cool as you can imagine what happens).
fetid swarm - I like your new wording, without the X. Thanks. I like the idea of it being a killer, too, but for this one I want to keep it as a sacrifice thing. It is strong as 3 1/1s for 1BB but I am fine with black getting token makers as good as red.
malevolent assassin - I'll make it a human then I suppose.
skullmaggot - well, I wanted to make a weenie and not a growing, flashy fatty. It is a pretty nuts combo with a tolarian winds or wheel of fortune, so maybe I'll just cut the ability or give it an activation.
imp's prize - yeah, scuirimancer thought it did too much for the cost too. but yours is just too weak. maybe I will cut the sacrifice/cantrip altogether.
heebie-jeebies - I like your idea of turning it into an iconic black creature. the p/t were based on Witch Engine, which is a horror with cool art but it turns out the witch engine is only a 4/4. I dunno, I kind of just like 6/4 as a size though.
I want to make black more aggressive in this set but I think 2/1 for is pushing it a little much, which is what it would be on the first turn. I think 1/1 with fear for is good enough.
imp's prize - yeah, scuirimancer thought it did too much for the cost too. but yours is just too weak. maybe I will cut the sacrifice/cantrip altogether.
I would not say its weak, the ability of +1/-1 is an advantage as it makes the spell a possible Removal against opponent creatures, and the "cant" block makes it removal like too against Defender especially.
Beside that you can give a guy you have flying and +1 power if "that" is the right move and the card will give you the discard no matter what, so its by far not weak, its a good Limited card, dont try to make Constructed Cards in every card, they will become one if the Meta-Game wants them and most important you should not get "too much" cards of a set that are strong, otherwise you "flood" the market with powerfull cards and the next set has to give something "better" somehow, or peops will be dissappointed which is allways a bad thing or magic:
Look Mercadian Masques, people disliked it for being slow and "crappy" with Removal spells (it nearly had none).
Than people disliked Kamigawa for flavour change, and the power lvl was drastically lower than Affinity dominated Mirrodin.
Even now, Lorwyn is full of powerfull Tribal cards, so creatures have a though time and you even need something like Nacatle and the like to "stand against them".
heebie-jeebies - I like your idea of turning it into an iconic black creature. the p/t were based on Witch Engine, which is a horror with cool art but it turns out the witch engine is only a 4/4. I dunno, I kind of just like 6/4 as a size though.
I want to make black more aggressive in this set but I think 2/1 for is pushing it a little much, which is what it would be on the first turn. I think 1/1 with fear for is good enough.
Actually its pretty random to have it 2/1 for just 1 black, you have to play first, your opponent should not "Mulliganed" and if they play first they have 6 cards, making it impossible to play your guy if you cant give them cards, so i think its the most balanced 2/1 for 1 mana you can get compared to all the potentially 2/2 for 1 in the last sets, looking for the Kithkin 2/2, the 2/2 green Elf, Nacatle (3/3), the artifact white weenie that gets +1/+1 for another artifact, Maniac 2/1 and all that guys, they have more minimal drawbacks and can even have advantages in their "drawback".
And the thing is that nothing goes wrong with a 2 power creature for 1, the funny thing is that you cant win a game with 1 power, but 2 power is a "potential" threat (as 10 turn cloak, 20 is otopic), but their is enough hate against fast creatures anyway, just look in Shards you have: Infest, Jund Charm, Volcanic Fallout, beside that potential strong and fast Removal, so all in all that should be the least problem you have to counter in a format, problems are things like Faeries which are "fast", "flashy", "flying" and most important have strong counter backup together with Semi-Time Walks with 4/4 Body, and yes Conflux trys to hate faeries a lot (but still not much funny as it is).
dont try to make Constructed Cards in every card, they will become one if the Meta-Game wants them and most important you should not get "too much" cards of a set that are strong,
Oh don't worry, I understand that. I wasn't trying to make it a constructed card - I literally wanted to make an aura version of Unhinge, that would give an incentive to only get "half" the unhinge in order to keep the p/t bonuses around. I don't think it would be constructed playable, I just wanted to make something limited-playable.
Actually its pretty random to have it 2/1 for just 1 black, you have to play first, your opponent should not "Mulliganed" and if they play first they have 6 cards, making it impossible to play your guy if you cant give them cards, so i think its the most balanced 2/1 for 1 mana you can get compared to all the potentially 2/2 for 1 in the last sets, looking for the Kithkin 2/2, the 2/2 green Elf, Nacatle (3/3), the artifact white weenie that gets +1/+1 for another artifact, Maniac 2/1 and all that guys, they have more minimal drawbacks and can even have advantages in their "drawback".
And the thing is that nothing goes wrong with a 2 power creature for 1, the funny thing is that you cant win a game with 1 power, but 2 power is a "potential" threat (as 10 turn cloak, 20 is otopic), but their is enough hate against fast creatures anyway, just look in Shards you have: Infest, Jund Charm, Volcanic Fallout, beside that potential strong and fast Removal, so all in all that should be the least problem you have to counter in a format, problems are things like Faeries which are "fast", "flashy", "flying" and most important have strong counter backup together with Semi-Time Walks with 4/4 Body, and yes Conflux trys to hate faeries a lot (but still not much funny as it is).
You're right that it wouldn't be a broken 2/1. But here's the thing: I don't want to use the strength of other cards solely as justification for making a good aggressive creature. That's just power creep. And a 1/1 fear for B is just fine. More importantly, flavor concerns: now that I've got the name heebie-jeebies for it, a name which I like and want to keep, I want to keep it as a "scary" creature. Fear just makes so much sense on it. So I'd rather have 1/1 fear than 2/1. Simple as that.
Before you begin the game, you may reveal Lilith from your library. If you do, put an enchantment token into play called Mark of Lilith that has "BBBB, Pay 4 life, Sacrifice Mark of Lilith:Remove the top 4 cards of your library from the game, then reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a card named Children of Lilith. Put that card into play and remove the other cards from the game."
Even more wordy, but with cards that let you mulligan extra before the game has started, it isn't completely unfounded.
fetid swarm - why yes, a larger version that affected each player might be fun...
Unerok, the Maggot King :3mana::symb::symb:
Legendary Creature - Horror
4/4
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player sacrifices a nontoken creature. If he or she does, that player puts X 1/1 black Insect creature tokens into play under his or her control, where X is the sacrificed creature's power.
malevolent assassin - will never actually kill himself, because he is a 2/1 and only hates 1/1s and 2/2s. but he could kill your own stuff if you aren't careful.
children of lilith - ness, I like what you're getting at, but maybe it could be simplified a tad. What about:
Children of Lilith :symb::symb::symb::symb:
Legendary Creature – Demon
5/5
Protection from Angels
Before you begin the game, you may reveal Children of Lilith from your library. If you do, it gains ":symb::symb::symb::symb:, Pay 4 life: Remove the top 4 cards of your library from the game, then reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a card named Children of Lilith. Put that card into play and remove the other cards from the game. Play this ability only if Children of Lilith is in your library."
So instead of dealing with an enchantment, this creature just waits to give itself the ability until you reveal it from your library at the beginning of the game. I think you could even reveal 4 copies of it at the beginning of the game, and hence be able to play the ability for each of the copies. I made it a legend for flavor and power level reasons.
Does this wording work? Is it too unglued-esque? I think it gets around the rules issue of playing an ability of a card that isn't actually in your deck. Now you have proof that it is in your deck. Only problem now is if the activation of one removes some copies of the others, which you then attempt to play later in the game...also, it is very wordy (although not as complicated as the enchantment version).
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Children of Lilith :symb::symb::symb::symb:
Creature – Demon
5/5
Protection from Angels
:symb::symb::symb::symb:, Pay 4 life: Remove the top 4 cards of your library from the game, then reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a card named Children of Lilith. Put that card into play and remove the other cards from the game. Play this ability only if Children of Lilith is in your library.
[probably opens up all sorts of rules problems...oh well. I wanted a creature that could demonic consultation for itself!]
Fetid Swarm :1mana::symb::symb:
Creature – Insect
3/1
When Fetid Swarm comes into play, sacrifice a creature and put X 1/1 black Insect creature tokens into play, where X is the sacrificed creature’s power.
Malevolent Assassin :2mana::symb:
Creature – Assassin
2/1
When Malevolent Assassin comes into play, you may destroy target 1/1 or 2/2 creature. It can’t be regenerated.
Skullmaggot
Creature – Insect
1/1
Whenever a player discards a card, Skullmaggot gets +1/+1 until end of turn.
[has this been done before? feels like it...]
Imp’s Prize :1mana::symb:
Enchantment – Aura
Enchant Creature
When Imp’s Prize comes into play, target player discards a card.
Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 and has flying.
:symb:, Sacrifice Imp’s Prize: Draw a card.
Crawling Undeath :2mana::symb::symb:
Enchantment – Aura
Enchant creature
When Crawling Undeath comes into play, return a creature card from your graveyard to play. If that creature is put into a graveyard from play, remove it and enchanted creature from the game.
[I]Beware raising the dead, lest they drag you back whence they came.[/I]
Heebie-Jeebies :5mana::symb:
Creature – Horror
1/1
Fear
Heebie-Jeebies costs 1 less to play for each card in target opponent’s hand.
Heebie-Jeebies gets +5/+3 if an opponent has no cards in hand.
[I just love this card's name. I actually came up with it after the fact. I like that this is basically a 1/1 fear one-drop, that can maybe be a nuts fattie]
Comments and critiques please! I'm pretty proud of this mix of cards. I like how black is shaping up for the set I'm working on. (more on that later...)
Creature – Demon
5/5
Protection from Angels
:symb::symb::symb::symb:, Pay 4 life: Remove the top 4 cards of your library from the game, then reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a card named Children of Lilith. Put that card into play and remove the other cards from the game. Play this ability only if Children of Lilith is in your library.
Pretty easy to explain why it doesnt work.
Just imagine i use the ability, as i "think" it is in my library, but it isnt, so i cant use an ability of something nobody can confirm actually exists, thats why you have to reveal a Morph at the end of an game, just to confirm you not cheated a card into play (and if it is not a Morph card you might end with some problems if you cant show Ixidron was involved).
So however, their still is a way to get your card working.
A solution is to make another card with the ability, so lets say the Land can fetch for it. Another is to make it like the Wurm, if you are searching your library you may play it.
Another is that you make it with:
Children of Lilith :symb::symb::symb::symb:
Creature – Demon
Protection from Angels
As long as ~ is removed from the game you may pay :symb::symb::symb::symb: and 4 life, than remove the top 4 cards of your library from the game, then reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a card named Children of Lilith. Put that card into play and remove the other cards from the game. 5/5
Something like that so you could have it in the SideBoard and grant the Ability to get the others in your library.
However executing this to actually work is the real problem of the card and their are other solutions that might work better, but its pretty much impossible to play an ability without somehow revealing the card or at least make sure it exists as you cant do something without the source.
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Well I was thinking of that, but perhaps your example is part of the solution too. If you play the ability, but there isn't one in your library, you lose the game - like if it was discovered your face-down card wasn't really a morph creature. And if you play the ability and there isn't one in your library (either because there never was or because it got removed in the top 4 cards), you will remove your library from the game anyway, right?
But I mean, how does the rule that you need to confirm something exists before playing its ability work with morph?
Also, I like your final suggestion, the "as long as ~ is removed from the game" ability. It isn't nearly as cool as the original, but it might work if I can't get away with the "play from library" ability.
Would your Children of Lilith suggestion ("as long as ~ is removed from the game") work just like the Wishes? As in, casual players wouldn't need to worry about children of lilith in their sideboard but rather just play the ability from their collection?
Still wouldn't be as awesome as I had envisioned the original ability, but may just be close enough.
Any thoughts on the other cards? For rarities, I was thinking that the demon Children and Heebie-Jeebies would be rare, the assassin and Crawling Undeath would be uncommon, and the rest would be common. Or is fetid swarm too complicated for common? (I don't think it is...)
p.s. and a new card!
Order of Azmodan :symb::symb:
Creature - Knight
2/2
First Strike
Order of Azmodan has Protection from white and from green as long as you control a black enchantment.
I also want to make a black weenie that can give burn fits, but it hasn't quite materialized yet. The 2-drop slot for black is probably going to be taken by this knight.
The thing is that their allways must be a source for an effect. I cant just sacrifice something because i want to, it has to have a way that makes me ble to sacrifice it.
The same is for life, i cant just say, ok i pay 19 life, their must be something that lets me pay that life.
And if you want this card to search for itself, their is nothing that makes sure you are "allowed" to do that and so you cant say "YOu lose the game", simply because their is nothing that makes you lose the game and their are very much ways that you might use the ability and randomly cant find it, maybe because it got removed or whatever.
Morph on the other side is something you clearly see yourself that you can play it as morph, you dont play the card out of your library or another hidden zone, and if you play something as Morph that cant be played as morph the "tournament" rulez actually give you the Match lost or even cheating, the thing is more or less every card can be Morph "somehow" and you can allways look at the Morph cards of your own to "confirm" its a card with morph to "check" yourself.
For the library that is simply not true, as i am not allowed to look at my library just because i want to.
So i cant see a possible solution for an ability, ofcourse outside of Un-Sets, where you easy can create a card that you can play out of your library.
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Fetid Swarm = I really like this. It's awesome!
Malevolent Assassin = Weird criteria, there. Not necessarily a bad kind of weird, either.
Skullmaggot = Seems familiar to me as well, but I can't remember anything in particular. Anyway, it looks good to me.
Imp's Prize = I think this does a little too much for the cost.
Crawling Undeath = I like the flavor, here. Alternate/spin-off idea ahead:
Crawling Undeath 2B
Instant
Each player may return a creature card from his or her graveyard to play. Those creatures gain haste. At end of turn, each player sacrifices two creatures.
Heebie-Jeebies = Cool and interesting card, overall. I was thinking it might be cool to give it a specter ability as well, but then that's probably overburdening the card with abilities.
• Recent Card Ideas • My Drawings at DeviantArt
This is the kind of treatment you can look forward to here.
but isn't that just the solution? this is what I was trying to get at earlier. Can't we just assume that there would be tournament rules that say "hey if you try to play this card's ability out of your deck and it turns out it never existed, you lose for cheating" ?? The card's current text takes care of any other problems. It is just like with morph: you technically can "get away" with playing a non-morph card facedown for 3 - but you only get away with it until the card needs to be flipped or the game ends, at which point everyone sees what you did and you lose. Same with this: you can "play" the ability but if it turns out it isn't in your library, hey you're a cheater and you lose the match for it.
Scuirimancer! Thanks for posting!
fetid swarm - thanks! think it's alright as a common?
malevolent assassin - yeah, I'm not totally in love with this, but I want him to hate things that aren't quite his size, if that makes any sense. I feel like this could potentially be very playable though.
imp's prize - I costed it based on Unhinge - you pay a little more (1BB vs 2B) to get the immediate effect, but in addition this encourages you to actually play the aura. I suppose the sacrifice cost could be increased to 2?
I really like your alternate crawling undeath! Really punishes players without dead creatures too.
heebie-jeebies - you're right, a specter ability would be incredibly synergistic. but maybe, uh, too "easy"/obvious? It would sort of remind me of those kamigawa flip legends with activated abilities to cause the flip.
Thanks for the comments guys!
The thing i tryd to say is that with Morph the player who plays a creature Morph allways can check that it really has Morph, and if a player plays a card with Morph which has not, that is simply cheating and they are responsible for what they have done.
For your "search" part players cant know the card is really in the library until they search it, and by than they allready cheated, so its a ability that makes people cheat even if they dont want to, and that is an impossible thing.
Beside that i tryd to say that you have to have a source that allows you to do something, and if you just search your library to find out you normally could not, thats simply impossible junk.
Just imagine for the same you have a card that says:
Example Card 5R
Instant
As long as ~ is in your library, double each damage from sources you control.
Here you might see what the problem is with abilities that are not "visible" and able to confirm they even exist.
If such a card exists i could simply say i have 4 of them in my library and kill you first turn with a Lava Spike (3*2*2*2*2 making 48 damage rofl).
And how we want to proof it? i would have to search my library and show them to you, than shuffle my library again, but the problem actually is that if they dont exist i just shuffled my library with no effect that allows me to, and that alone is the problem, the game doesnt allow you to do things without a source that makes you do it, and Morph has a rulez entry that allows you to do what you want, but only because the player that plays the Morph can allways look at it and allways sees the card they are playing in every time, so they can see their mistake before it becomes a problem.
The possible solutions all need that you have somehow, something that allows you to search for the card if its in a hidden zone, for the Wurm it simply works because you are searching your library, and so your library is no longer "hidden" for you, you can simply confirm the wurm exists by yourself, you cant play the Wurm just out of your library because that wouldnt work.
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That's a good point. On the other hand, if there is any color that would like to make its player cheat even if they don't want to, it's black.
I'm probably going to go with your "play if ~ is removed from the game" ability. In competitive play, it is nearly the same as long as you have one copy in your sideboard. (Except now only 3 copies to search for in your deck.) That also makes the card slightly weaker, but not by much, and it still feels fun and exciting. Thanks for the suggestion!
I like how it encourages you to micromanage power and toughness. There's plenty of 1/1s and 2/2s out there. So it's usually going to be useful, regardless.
Order of Azmodan = I guess I missed this one. :3 I like how it relies on an enchantment for full effect. Has a nice flavor to it, like it benefits from the evil taint of black magic.
• Recent Card Ideas • My Drawings at DeviantArt
azmodan - thanks, that's the concept I was thinking of too. My only "beef" with the finished design is that it combines a lot of not-traditionally-black abilities: first strike, protection, and enchantment-loving. But the original black knight provides precedence and Evershrike says black likes enchantments too, I suppose.
Creature – Insect
3/1
When Fetid Swarm comes into play, sacrifice a creature and put X 1/1 black Insect creature tokens into play, where X is the sacrificed creature’s power.
Powerfull card for Limited, the thing is that its actually a pretty much better "dragon Fodder" especially for sets that can cheat a little with it, get it back with Gravediggers and such.
For the wording i would avoid the use of X if the card has no X in the cost.
Making it to:
Fetid Swarm :1mana::symb::symb:
Creature – Insect
When Fetid Swarm comes into play, sacrifice a creature and a number of 1/1 black Insect creature tokens into play equal to the sacrificed creature’s power.
3/1
Like it more just because the X should somehow have a value with the spell, looking for Fireballs and the like.
However their are several possible ways to change the card a little, depends all on the set and the abilities it might get from them.
I might make some examples:
Infected Corpse 2:symb::symb:
Creature – Zombie
When ~ comes into play, destroy target non-insect creature and put a number of 1/1 black Insect creature tokens into play under that players controll equal to the sacrificed creature’s power.
Exhume - Sacrifice a non-insect creature
3/1
Funny thing is the card works pretty good with Exhume, somehow i get a cool feeling imagine to see a creature and Insects crawl out of it like an "Alien" killing the creature, so it can easy come back from the dead especially as a bunch of Insects infect "corpses" anyway especially in graveyard its what i imagine thinking about them.
However flavourwise i made the card itself a Zombie, that will Infect something or itself with the Insects "larves" that will kill the victim.
This makes the card into a "Nekrataal" flavoured combination of "Mercy Killing" and a Infected Zombie.
Powerwise you can get much out of it, its for sure a source of massive tokens if used togetether with Nantuko Husk for example you can get a extrem bomb out of it, imagine szenario:
Play it eat it, get 3 tokens, eat the tokens with Husk attack for 8, eat another creature for Exhume, eat the Infected Zombie with Husk, destroy the Husk, and get 10 tokens. Might be one of the best uses of it, but sounds effektive enough to make a lot of tokens and its even strong enough just to kill a bunch of creatures with it of your opponent.
Malevolent Assassin :2mana::symb:
Creature – Assassin
When Malevolent Assassin comes into play, you may destroy target 1/1 or 2/2 creature. It can’t be regenerated.
2/1
Its strange to have a "focus" on 1/1 and 2/2, normally the card would read "power 2 or less" and call it done as this card is only "viable" if your set has a bunch of 1/1 and 2/2, which should not just be tokens, might be cool if you have a set that has a lot of 2/2 in green and white, red and black should get than more 3/1 and the like so it becomes a card that fits in the set.
Beside that is ok, but it still needs a "race", as Assassin alone is not "allowed" (which is a job, race alone is ok, the only exception is Arcanis as the flavourtext "forces" it).
And being a Assassin Nekrataal like, i would just add first strike flavourwise, making it stronger too.
Skullmaggot
Creature – Insect
Whenever a player discards a card, Skullmaggot gets +1/+1 until end of turn.
1/1
Theirs a random flyer that makes the job, but however the effect is most the time junky, simply because black has the "shade" ability which is way more efficient to get +1/+1 for just a black mana, beside that it allows pretty nasty "combos" as you look for every player, using the Tolarian Wind like effects to make it bigger and bigger.
Just some cards i think of:
Wheel of Fortune, Windfall, Tolarian Winds, LifeFromtheLoam + Cycling Lands.
So i dont know if i would like such a card at a low cost of just 1 black, might be better to use +1/+1 counters, make it cost a lot more and give it something more to be "cool".
Ravaging Brainbug 1:symb::symb::symb:
Creature – Insect
Whenever a opponent discards a card, put a +1/+1 counter on ~.
When ~ is put into a graveyard from play, discard a card.
Persist
4/2
Though guy, combines Persist with the +1/+1 counter to become "semi" invinsible and possible offers a lot of damage if you run enough discard to fuel it (best with a 5 mana Mind Sludge after it or something).
P/T in flavour of Giant Cockroach.
Imp’s Prize :1mana::symb:
Enchantment – Aura
Enchant Creature
When Imp’s Prize comes into play, target player discards a card.
Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 and has flying.
:symb:, Sacrifice Imp’s Prize: Draw a card.
Dont know, but feels a bit strange with the cantrip.
The power is for sure good for Limited, making your creature +1/+1 and flying is ok enough, with the discard added its worth to play it nearly allways in a black deck.
The cantrip is just the overkill and feels odd and not needed.
Would change the card a little to:
Imp’s Prize :1mana::symb:
Enchantment – Aura
Enchant Creature
When Imp’s Prize comes into play, each player discards a card.
Enchanted creature gets +1/-1 and has flying and can't block.
Making the card "each" player allows it to play a role together with black abilities that work form the graveyard, or Madness, black has enough use of the graveyard and the +1/-1 makes the card stronger if you want it to kill something, the cant block makes it a usefull card against a big blocker, so all together a fair trade of for everyone and still a card that can easy find its place in a Limited Deck that can have flexible use of it.
Heebie-Jeebies :5mana::symb:
Creature – Horror
Fear
Heebie-Jeebies costs 1 less to play for each card in target opponent’s hand.
Heebie-Jeebies gets +5/+3 if an opponent has no cards in hand.
1/1
However this card can be a Limited "bomb" just because its a 1 drop that costs 6, just look back in time, if the set has a mechanic that looks for converted manacost, such cards are king, thats the only reason they printed a bunch of morph cards that just turn into cards with a big manacost.
The +5/+3 looks random big, for my taste it makes more sence to turn it into another "iconic" black card, lets say a Pit Lord or something.
So lets go the way of changing the card for more flavour points:
Heebie-Jeebies 7
Creature – Horror
Heebie-Jeebies costs 1 less to play for each card in an opponents hand.
As long as an opponent has no cards in hand, ~ gets +5/+5, flying and trample and has "At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice a creature other than ~. If you can't, ~ deals 7 damage to you."
2/1
This way its more or less "at least" a 2/1 for just 1 black if everything works out as you want to, and for today thats not "broken" anymore as nearly every 1 drop is somehow 2 power or potentially more powerfull like Figure of Destiny, Tarmagoyf and all that guys.
However the flavour of the card is huge, it will be a a simpel 2/1 in Limited and your goal is to get the hand of your opponent to 0 as fast as possible so you get your Lord of the Pit with discount and most important, everytime your opponent draws the card it will turn into the small 2/1 again, so its not that cool blocker and your opponent can use it to give you the sacrifice than draw a card with say Senseis Divining Top, it turns out that the card offers a lot of "shapeshifting" for a black card.
Simply because "shapeshifting" is a extrem cool ability, and yes i like Paraon of the Amesha and its red friend, the design is just one of the most flavourfull you can do (even Sarkhan Vol summoning the 5 Dragons, its just that cool as you can imagine what happens).
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malevolent assassin - I'll make it a human then I suppose.
skullmaggot - well, I wanted to make a weenie and not a growing, flashy fatty. It is a pretty nuts combo with a tolarian winds or wheel of fortune, so maybe I'll just cut the ability or give it an activation.
imp's prize - yeah, scuirimancer thought it did too much for the cost too. but yours is just too weak. maybe I will cut the sacrifice/cantrip altogether.
heebie-jeebies - I like your idea of turning it into an iconic black creature. the p/t were based on Witch Engine, which is a horror with cool art but it turns out the witch engine is only a 4/4. I dunno, I kind of just like 6/4 as a size though.
I want to make black more aggressive in this set but I think 2/1 for is pushing it a little much, which is what it would be on the first turn. I think 1/1 with fear for is good enough.
I would not say its weak, the ability of +1/-1 is an advantage as it makes the spell a possible Removal against opponent creatures, and the "cant" block makes it removal like too against Defender especially.
Beside that you can give a guy you have flying and +1 power if "that" is the right move and the card will give you the discard no matter what, so its by far not weak, its a good Limited card, dont try to make Constructed Cards in every card, they will become one if the Meta-Game wants them and most important you should not get "too much" cards of a set that are strong, otherwise you "flood" the market with powerfull cards and the next set has to give something "better" somehow, or peops will be dissappointed which is allways a bad thing or magic:
Look Mercadian Masques, people disliked it for being slow and "crappy" with Removal spells (it nearly had none).
Than people disliked Kamigawa for flavour change, and the power lvl was drastically lower than Affinity dominated Mirrodin.
Even now, Lorwyn is full of powerfull Tribal cards, so creatures have a though time and you even need something like Nacatle and the like to "stand against them".
Actually its pretty random to have it 2/1 for just 1 black, you have to play first, your opponent should not "Mulliganed" and if they play first they have 6 cards, making it impossible to play your guy if you cant give them cards, so i think its the most balanced 2/1 for 1 mana you can get compared to all the potentially 2/2 for 1 in the last sets, looking for the Kithkin 2/2, the 2/2 green Elf, Nacatle (3/3), the artifact white weenie that gets +1/+1 for another artifact, Maniac 2/1 and all that guys, they have more minimal drawbacks and can even have advantages in their "drawback".
And the thing is that nothing goes wrong with a 2 power creature for 1, the funny thing is that you cant win a game with 1 power, but 2 power is a "potential" threat (as 10 turn cloak, 20 is otopic), but their is enough hate against fast creatures anyway, just look in Shards you have: Infest, Jund Charm, Volcanic Fallout, beside that potential strong and fast Removal, so all in all that should be the least problem you have to counter in a format, problems are things like Faeries which are "fast", "flashy", "flying" and most important have strong counter backup together with Semi-Time Walks with 4/4 Body, and yes Conflux trys to hate faeries a lot (but still not much funny as it is).
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Oh don't worry, I understand that. I wasn't trying to make it a constructed card - I literally wanted to make an aura version of Unhinge, that would give an incentive to only get "half" the unhinge in order to keep the p/t bonuses around. I don't think it would be constructed playable, I just wanted to make something limited-playable.
You're right that it wouldn't be a broken 2/1. But here's the thing: I don't want to use the strength of other cards solely as justification for making a good aggressive creature. That's just power creep. And a 1/1 fear for B is just fine. More importantly, flavor concerns: now that I've got the name heebie-jeebies for it, a name which I like and want to keep, I want to keep it as a "scary" creature. Fear just makes so much sense on it. So I'd rather have 1/1 fear than 2/1. Simple as that.
Before you begin the game, you may reveal Lilith from your library. If you do, put an enchantment token into play called Mark of Lilith that has "BBBB, Pay 4 life, Sacrifice Mark of Lilith:Remove the top 4 cards of your library from the game, then reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a card named Children of Lilith. Put that card into play and remove the other cards from the game."
Even more wordy, but with cards that let you mulligan extra before the game has started, it isn't completely unfounded.
fetid swarm - why yes, a larger version that affected each player might be fun...
Unerok, the Maggot King :3mana::symb::symb:
Legendary Creature - Horror
4/4
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player sacrifices a nontoken creature. If he or she does, that player puts X 1/1 black Insect creature tokens into play under his or her control, where X is the sacrificed creature's power.
malevolent assassin - will never actually kill himself, because he is a 2/1 and only hates 1/1s and 2/2s. but he could kill your own stuff if you aren't careful.
children of lilith - ness, I like what you're getting at, but maybe it could be simplified a tad. What about:
Children of Lilith :symb::symb::symb::symb:
Legendary Creature – Demon
5/5
Protection from Angels
Before you begin the game, you may reveal Children of Lilith from your library. If you do, it gains ":symb::symb::symb::symb:, Pay 4 life: Remove the top 4 cards of your library from the game, then reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a card named Children of Lilith. Put that card into play and remove the other cards from the game. Play this ability only if Children of Lilith is in your library."
So instead of dealing with an enchantment, this creature just waits to give itself the ability until you reveal it from your library at the beginning of the game. I think you could even reveal 4 copies of it at the beginning of the game, and hence be able to play the ability for each of the copies. I made it a legend for flavor and power level reasons.
Does this wording work? Is it too unglued-esque? I think it gets around the rules issue of playing an ability of a card that isn't actually in your deck. Now you have proof that it is in your deck. Only problem now is if the activation of one removes some copies of the others, which you then attempt to play later in the game...also, it is very wordy (although not as complicated as the enchantment version).