Many running jokes at my shop that start "I'm so bad at Magic..." Some of them based on stories, others just random. "Your bad at magic" or "I'm bad at magic" is a commonly ushered phrase at the shop too.
"I'm/Your so bad at magic..."
...Progenitus doesn't have protection from me.
...I crap Homelands packs.
...I crap Hymnless Fallen Empires packs.
...My first pack in this draft had an "IOU" instead of a rare.
...My [insert newest set here] box was misshipped with a Saviors box.
...My [insert newest set here] box was misshipped with a Saviors gravity box.
...My [insert newest set here] box was misshipped with a Bella Serra the Trading Card Game box.
...My basic land comes into play tapped.
...I can only use 4 of each snow covered land.
...I use snow covered land.
...My Mirrodin deck lost to a Saviors deck.
...My Mirrodin deck lost to a Homelands deck.
...My Mirrodin deck lost to a Poker deck (Ace of Spades is MVP).
...My creatures are blocked by mountains.
...I start with 9.5 poison counters.
...I forgot to put Battle of Wits in my Battle of Wits deck.
...I first-pick Mindlock Orb in Draft...over foil Elspeths.
...My hybrid cards don't let me choose which color I use.
...According to rule 147.8, if an infinite loop occurs that cannot be stopped by either player, I lose.
...The DCI got my record mixed up with "BYE" (God that guy never shows up for his matches).
...I never draw my MVP in my Bird Maiden deck (hey, she's a human AND bird).
...Wrath of God only kills my creatures.
...My Birds only produce colorless mana.
...I have phasing.
I'm so bad at Magic, I played 2HG with Jon Finkel as my teammate and lost.
I'm so bad at Magic, I don't play Herbal Poultice in my decks.
I'm so bad at Magic, I lost to Mike Lopez.
I'm so bad at Magic, I posted in this thread.
I'm so bad at Magic, I think Sorrow's Path is tech.
I'm so bad at Magic, I designed Homelands.
I'm so bad at Magic, I played Terror on Chameleon Colossus.
I'm so bad at Magic, I countered a Ornithopter with a Force of Will.
I'm so bad at Magic, I don't have substance.
I'm so bad at Magic, I start with 1 life, and proceed to Shock myself.
Our opponents were Nassif and LSV, both who have obtained Finkel's magic playing DNA, and they were running 58 maindeck HPs each! I also played Last Chance on turn two after Finkel had countered 7 flashed Poultices, he was out of Islands to counter it. I thought we could win with Finkel's trio of Squires swinging twice, but I was wrong. The Herbal Poultices were just too much.
I'm so bad at Magic, I had 8 mountains untapped and 4 Incinerate and 1 Shock in hand, and tried to kill Krosan Cloudscraper.
"I'm/Your so bad at magic..."
...Progenitus doesn't have protection from me.
...I crap Homelands packs.
...I crap Hymnless Fallen Empires packs.
...My first pack in this draft had an "IOU" instead of a rare.
...My [insert newest set here] box was misshipped with a Saviors box.
...My [insert newest set here] box was misshipped with a Saviors gravity box.
...My [insert newest set here] box was misshipped with a Bella Serra the Trading Card Game box.
...My basic land comes into play tapped.
...I can only use 4 of each snow covered land.
...I use snow covered land.
...My Mirrodin deck lost to a Saviors deck.
...My Mirrodin deck lost to a Homelands deck.
...My Mirrodin deck lost to a Poker deck (Ace of Spades is MVP).
...My creatures are blocked by mountains.
...I start with 9.5 poison counters.
...I forgot to put Battle of Wits in my Battle of Wits deck.
...I first-pick Mindlock Orb in Draft...over foil Elspeths.
...My hybrid cards don't let me choose which color I use.
...According to rule 147.8, if an infinite loop occurs that cannot be stopped by either player, I lose.
...The DCI got my record mixed up with "BYE" (God that guy never shows up for his matches).
...I never draw my MVP in my Bird Maiden deck (hey, she's a human AND bird).
...Wrath of God only kills my creatures.
...My Birds only produce colorless mana.
...I have phasing.
Custom Set: Pokemon: Generation 1
My mind numbing DC-10 stack!
I'm so bad at magic, my parents named me Mulligan
[GTC] Gatecrash Patch for MWS (249/249)
I'm so bad at magic, I posted this in the wrong forum.
Custom Set: Pokemon: Generation 1
My mind numbing DC-10 stack!
L1 Judge
I'm so bad at magic, that i'm permanently silenced, even when i'm not playing!
I'm so bad at Magic, I don't play Herbal Poultice in my decks.
I'm so bad at Magic, I lost to Mike Lopez.
I'm so bad at Magic, I posted in this thread.
I'm so bad at Magic, I think Sorrow's Path is tech.
I'm so bad at Magic, I designed Homelands.
I'm so bad at Magic, I played Terror on Chameleon Colossus.
I'm so bad at Magic, I countered a Ornithopter with a Force of Will.
I'm so bad at Magic, I don't have substance.
I'm so bad at Magic, I start with 1 life, and proceed to Shock myself.
I'm so bad at Magic, you terrored my Chameleon Colossus and it worked.
Custom Set: Pokemon: Generation 1
My mind numbing DC-10 stack!
I'm so bad at Magic, when Terror and Colossus were put in the graveyard, my Tarmogoyf got -2/-2.
I'm so bad at Magic, I use Ancestral Recall to mill my opponents.
- Benjammn
Our opponents were Nassif and LSV, both who have obtained Finkel's magic playing DNA, and they were running 58 maindeck HPs each! I also played Last Chance on turn two after Finkel had countered 7 flashed Poultices, he was out of Islands to counter it. I thought we could win with Finkel's trio of Squires swinging twice, but I was wrong. The Herbal Poultices were just too much.
I'm so bad at Magic, I had 8 mountains untapped and 4 Incinerate and 1 Shock in hand, and tried to kill Krosan Cloudscraper.
~Lil Kalki
Proud Disciple of the Church of the Wary