This is the twenty-second round of cards from my custom set, Ruination, following a plausible timeline after the establishment of New Phyrexia, where the Praetors fight amongst themselves.
I'm looking for constructive feedback with these specific focuses:
(1) Individual card balance & elegance
(2) Mechanical soundness
(3) Grammer, design, syntax errors
**Tranquility reprint. I couldn't think of any way to put a spin on it in the context of the set, so I just left it as is. Normalize2G
Sorcery {C}
Destroy all enchantments.
Inevitable DemiseB - Updated below
Enchantment - Aura {C}
Enchant creature
During your upkeep, put a doom counter on Inevitable Demise.
At any time, if the number of doom counters on Inevitable Demise is equal to or greater than the converted mana cost of the enchanted creature, destroy that creature.
**Its power is conditional and avoidable, so I know its not too strong for a common, but not too complex for a common, I hope? Reign of Terror2B
Enchantment {C}
Whenever a creature you don’t control dies, put a terror counter on Reign of Terror.
Creatures with power less than the number of terror counters on Reign of Terror cannot attack you unless their controllers pay 1 life for each attacking creature they control.
Carrion Swarm2B - Updated below
Creature - Insect {C}
Flying
When a creature dies, put a copy of Carrion Swarm onto the battlefield.
1/1
Carrion Swarm2B
Creature - Insect {C}
Flying
When a creature dies, put a copy of Carrion Swarm onto the battlefield.
1/1
Nope nope nope. At the very least it would need to be "another nontoken". That way, it doesn't copy itself when it dies, and doesn't go infinite with a sac outlet. Even then, one creature dies, you get one copy. The next creature dies, you get 2 more copies, then 4, then 8, etc etc.
Some neat ideas here, but I don't think the execution is clean.
Might change Inevitable Demise to trigger on each upkeep. Way too slow to kill anything above 1 CMC otherwise.
Reign of Terror is trying to go somewhere cool, but it is weaker than it looks. Compare to Blood Reckoning or Hissing Miasma. Perhaps something like this?
Reign of Terror
Enchantment
Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, put a terror counter on Reign of Terror.
At the beginning of each opponent's combat phase, that player may pay 1 life for each terror counter on Reign of Terror. If that player doesn't, creatures he or she controls can't attack this turn.
This version probably costs more than 2B and definitely isn't common, but I'm not sure yours is common either (not for power level, but for complexity).
Carrion Swarm
Whoa, there! Be careful! The current wording triggers off of the original Carrion Swarm dying, off of its copies dying, and the copies have the ability as well. What this means is that, barring a terminus or exile shenanigans, this will keep spewing tokens onto the battlefield at an exponential rate for the rest of the game. The easiest fix if you want to keep it at common is:
Carrion Swarm 2B
Creature- Insect {C}
Flying
Whenever Carrion Swarm or another nontoken creature dies, put a 1/1 black Insect creature token with Flying into the battlefield.
If you want the tokens to have the ability as well, you will need to raise the cost and the rarity, and the ability should not trigger off of tokens, for that way lies madness.
No, you guys knew exactly what I was thinking even though I butchered the wording. The tokens do not spawn more tokens, only the original creature is supposed to.
As for Denounce, I'd like to keep it a sorcery, but maybe add a bonus to it to balance the cost. Not sure what yet though.
I like the Reign of Terror and Demise suggestions.
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Custom Sets: Ruination, Retribution (in development)
Since your set is Phyrexian based, you could try the ole' "Its controller loses one life" clause. It isn't white, but it wasn't blue or green either, and it fits the name well.
As an alternative, it could be target player sacrifices target enchantment. I haven't seen enough of your set to know if it needs an option like that, but it's there.
Inevitable DemiseB
Enchantment - Aura {C}
Enchant creature
During each player's upkeep, put a doom counter on Inevitable Demise.
At any time, if the number of doom counters on Inevitable Demise is equal to or greater than the converted mana cost of the enchanted creature, destroy that creature.
Carrion Swarm2B
Creature - Insect {C}
Flying
Whenever another nontoken creature dies, put a 1/1 black Insect creature token with Flying into the battlefield.
1/1
Not sure what to do with Reign of Terror though. Black is basically capped out for rares in this set, and I'm not sure the flavor would be relevant in the next set.
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Custom Sets: Ruination, Retribution (in development)
i really don't think it matters. Pure enchantment removal is pretty terrible anyway and it's barely going to see constructed or limited play. Its cost barely means anything tbh.
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If you're having creature problems I feel bad for you son
You got 99 attackers but I'm blocking with 1.
The Winner is Judge | 7
This Winner is Also Judge | 6
Club Flamingo | Lots
So the rest has been commented on, so I'll take this:
Inevitable Demise B
Enchantment - Aura {C}
Enchant creature
During each player's upkeep, put a doom counter on Inevitable Demise.
At any time, if the number of doom counters on Inevitable Demise is equal to or greater than the converted mana cost of the enchanted creature, destroy that creature.
This isn't bad, but the last ability isn't worded correctly. Here's a suggestion:
"Whenever the number of doom counters on ~ is equal to or great than enchanted creature's converted mana cost, destroy enchanted creature and Inevitable Demise."
The destruction of the Demise is to keep the game from ending in a draw if this enchants an indestructible creature. I suppose they could both be indestructible, but that's gonna be a much rarer situation.
@Felllix
Oh good catch there! I hadn't even thought of indestructible creatures. I guess this new wording also handles regeneration, too.
As for Denounce, I'm perfectly fine with it being suboptimal. As Ninja Caterpie said, its not really there for extreme use, its mainly included because white *should* have enchantment removal.
The good news is, that white and blue are (most likely) finished for this set! My working goal is to have 24 cards for each color & artifacts (4 rares, 5 uncommons, 15 commons each), along with 5 basic lands and the 4 dual lands. So that means the set is currently working towards a total of ((24*6)+9) = 153 cards! That might be low for the first set in a block, so I *may* add more cards, pending community feedback. I understand first block sets can have 200+ cards, so we'll see.
Okay, that's some really good information. There are around 2 mythic rares for each color (including artifacts), I just didn't specify. As for artifacts, this isn't intended to be an artifact set, so I'll aim for 12ish. I didn't have any specific idea in mind when I set up the rarity ratios, I vaguely looked at the Scars block as a reference, so that's why they may seem strange.
I am really surprised to hear that I only have half of the typical # uncommons/rares - New Phyrexia, for example, has 4/5 rares/uncommons in each color when I looked at the list. At least I thought it did.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Custom Sets: Ruination, Retribution (in development)
I'm looking for constructive feedback with these specific focuses:
(1) Individual card balance & elegance
(2) Mechanical soundness
(3) Grammer, design, syntax errors
Denounce W - Updated below
Sorcery {C}
Destroy target enchantment.
**Tranquility reprint. I couldn't think of any way to put a spin on it in the context of the set, so I just left it as is.
Normalize 2G
Sorcery {C}
Destroy all enchantments.
Inevitable Demise B - Updated below
Enchantment - Aura {C}
Enchant creature
During your upkeep, put a doom counter on Inevitable Demise.
At any time, if the number of doom counters on Inevitable Demise is equal to or greater than the converted mana cost of the enchanted creature, destroy that creature.
**Its power is conditional and avoidable, so I know its not too strong for a common, but not too complex for a common, I hope?
Reign of Terror 2B
Enchantment {C}
Whenever a creature you don’t control dies, put a terror counter on Reign of Terror.
Creatures with power less than the number of terror counters on Reign of Terror cannot attack you unless their controllers pay 1 life for each attacking creature they control.
Carrion Swarm 2B - Updated below
Creature - Insect {C}
Flying
When a creature dies, put a copy of Carrion Swarm onto the battlefield.
1/1
This is just worse than Demystify
Nope nope nope. At the very least it would need to be "another nontoken". That way, it doesn't copy itself when it dies, and doesn't go infinite with a sac outlet. Even then, one creature dies, you get one copy. The next creature dies, you get 2 more copies, then 4, then 8, etc etc.
Might change Inevitable Demise to trigger on each upkeep. Way too slow to kill anything above 1 CMC otherwise.
Reign of Terror is trying to go somewhere cool, but it is weaker than it looks. Compare to Blood Reckoning or Hissing Miasma. Perhaps something like this?
Reign of Terror
Enchantment
Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, put a terror counter on Reign of Terror.
At the beginning of each opponent's combat phase, that player may pay 1 life for each terror counter on Reign of Terror. If that player doesn't, creatures he or she controls can't attack this turn.
This version probably costs more than 2B and definitely isn't common, but I'm not sure yours is common either (not for power level, but for complexity).
Carrion Swarm
Whoa, there! Be careful! The current wording triggers off of the original Carrion Swarm dying, off of its copies dying, and the copies have the ability as well. What this means is that, barring a terminus or exile shenanigans, this will keep spewing tokens onto the battlefield at an exponential rate for the rest of the game. The easiest fix if you want to keep it at common is:
Carrion Swarm 2B
Creature- Insect {C}
Flying
Whenever Carrion Swarm or another nontoken creature dies, put a 1/1 black Insect creature token with Flying into the battlefield.
If you want the tokens to have the ability as well, you will need to raise the cost and the rarity, and the ability should not trigger off of tokens, for that way lies madness.
As for Denounce, I'd like to keep it a sorcery, but maybe add a bonus to it to balance the cost. Not sure what yet though.
I like the Reign of Terror and Demise suggestions.
Since your set is Phyrexian based, you could try the ole' "Its controller loses one life" clause. It isn't white, but it wasn't blue or green either, and it fits the name well.
As an alternative, it could be target player sacrifices target enchantment. I haven't seen enough of your set to know if it needs an option like that, but it's there.
Sorcery {C}
Exile target enchantment.
Enchantment - Aura {C}
Enchant creature
During each player's upkeep, put a doom counter on Inevitable Demise.
At any time, if the number of doom counters on Inevitable Demise is equal to or greater than the converted mana cost of the enchanted creature, destroy that creature.
Creature - Insect {C}
Flying
Whenever another nontoken creature dies, put a 1/1 black Insect creature token with Flying into the battlefield.
1/1
Not sure what to do with Reign of Terror though. Black is basically capped out for rares in this set, and I'm not sure the flavor would be relevant in the next set.
Worse than Erase.
You got 99 attackers but I'm blocking with 1.
The Winner is Judge | 7
This Winner is Also Judge | 6
Club Flamingo | Lots
Inevitable Demise B
Enchantment - Aura {C}
Enchant creature
During each player's upkeep, put a doom counter on Inevitable Demise.
At any time, if the number of doom counters on Inevitable Demise is equal to or greater than the converted mana cost of the enchanted creature, destroy that creature.
This isn't bad, but the last ability isn't worded correctly. Here's a suggestion:
"Whenever the number of doom counters on ~ is equal to or great than enchanted creature's converted mana cost, destroy enchanted creature and Inevitable Demise."
The destruction of the Demise is to keep the game from ending in a draw if this enchants an indestructible creature. I suppose they could both be indestructible, but that's gonna be a much rarer situation.
When in doubt, call a judge.
Objectivist here. Hit me up to talk philosophy.
Oh good catch there! I hadn't even thought of indestructible creatures. I guess this new wording also handles regeneration, too.
As for Denounce, I'm perfectly fine with it being suboptimal. As Ninja Caterpie said, its not really there for extreme use, its mainly included because white *should* have enchantment removal.
The good news is, that white and blue are (most likely) finished for this set! My working goal is to have 24 cards for each color & artifacts (4 rares, 5 uncommons, 15 commons each), along with 5 basic lands and the 4 dual lands. So that means the set is currently working towards a total of ((24*6)+9) = 153 cards! That might be low for the first set in a block, so I *may* add more cards, pending community feedback. I understand first block sets can have 200+ cards, so we'll see.
I am really surprised to hear that I only have half of the typical # uncommons/rares - New Phyrexia, for example, has 4/5 rares/uncommons in each color when I looked at the list. At least I thought it did.