Vote for the poem(s) you feel is the best (up to two). Remember to adhere to the "Honor Code" when voting.
While it is understood there is no absolute means to monitor the intent of a vote, we ask each PRC participant to exercise integrity when voting out of respect for the contest:
- Please give each poetry submission an equal opportunity in attaining your vote.
- Please read, or at least skim, all the entries before voting.
- Please do not vote for your friends just because they're your friends.
The Poetry Running Contest puts good faith in its participants to act in an honorable manner.
Contestants, remember, you are required required to vote (and you can't vote for yourself)!
Happy voting!
*Interested new participants should submit their poems here.
Voted for "if you were bigger and more stupid" and experiential.
I really like the big and stupid imagery. Especially the first 6 lines, but then it flows/transitions really well into to the longer lines.
experiential has really good contrasting words and images. Pretty much every line is interesting.
Poem #142 I enjoyed but had some issues with the word choices. also the third and fourth lines not being quite as exact rhymes as the rest drew my vote away from this. buncha good stuff though!
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I make words using things
like pen pencil computer
sometimes prolific
sometimes a neuter
apparently i turned this into a *four way tie but crusible was my third place vote due to spacing out the 'fails', which really bothered me for some reason.
blippy, i really liked the general gist of the piece but it just doesn't flow as is. feels like it needed an edit. well mainly this line:
"Wanting to wrap hands around throat
Squeeze until eyeballs bloat"
my mouth is full of winsome lies -
and eyes are full of death besides
but luckily the soul is wise -
it sees beyond my blindness and
forced failure makes a better guise,
so as i come again alive,
it feels like life's a decent plan
crusible was my third place vote due to spacing out the 'fails', which really bothered me for some reason.
Thanks for the input! I gave "fails" a line of it's own for two reasons:
First is that having it alone makes it stand out from the other lines, I like that standing out because reading the title "Safety Inspection" then having the line "fails" stick out gives an even more condensed version of the poem.
Second reason is it makes the lines directly above and below to appear almost symmetrical. Since they have similar letters anyway I felt is was nice and pretty to not have one be much longer than the other.
anyway that's my reasons on that.
Private Mod Note
():
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I make words using things
like pen pencil computer
sometimes prolific
sometimes a neuter
Poem #142 I enjoyed but had some issues with the word choices. also the third and fourth lines not being quite as exact rhymes as the rest drew my vote away from this. buncha good stuff though!
Didn't know we could explain ourselves *blush* but since you did... I wish you had of been more specific with what word choices you didn't like?... Also.. i'm not sure how "Self-loathing" and "clothing" don't rhyme?... sure one has more syllables than the other.. i get they aren't the definition of "a perfect rhyme" but their isn't a perfect rhyme for the word self-loathing...(maybe under-clothing? ;p)..and it was the right word choice in my opinion for that lines emotional conveyance. Anyway.. i understand not liking it.. but i was just confused on the reasons you gave and i honestly don't mind suggestive critique, if i do not know what i've done wrong.. how will i ever fix it? :)..
Didn't know we could explain ourselves *blush* but since you did... I wish you had of been more specific with what word choices you didn't like?... Also.. i'm not sure how "Self-loathing" and "clothing" don't rhyme?...
Hopefully we can defend and explain ourselves, otherwise oops...
Anyway, I messed up in my critique of your poem, left out a critical part "third and fourth lines from the end". I didn't like the "swan" and "one" rhyme when all the other rhymes are much more exact. that is the only one you kind of have to play with pronunciation on. Sorry bout leaving out info crucial to understanding my actual point.
As far as suggestions I could see the second line changed to make it something like: "A charade", the crows bayed, to this deluded black swan, / Now- just a mockery, with a beau naught but a don-jaun." more of an exact rhyme that way and I think stays close to the original meaning. Again, hopefully this sort of critique is allowed here!
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
I make words using things
like pen pencil computer
sometimes prolific
sometimes a neuter
Hopefully we can defend and explain ourselves, otherwise oops...
Anyway, I messed up in my critique of your poem, left out a critical part "third and fourth lines from the end". I didn't like the "swan" and "one" rhyme when all the other rhymes are much more exact. that is the only one you kind of have to play with pronunciation on. Sorry bout leaving out info crucial to understanding my actual point.
As far as suggestions I could see the second line changed to make it something like: "A charade", the crows bayed, to this deluded black swan, / Now- just a mockery, with a beau naught but a don-jaun." more of an exact rhyme that way and I think stays close to the original meaning. Again, hopefully this sort of critique is allowed here!
Okay, thanks for the imput, i see what you mean now. Don-Juan sounds a little cheesy though LoL. Swan was hard to rhyme with but i still.. hope everyone enjoys it at least.. I particularly liked pretentious ducks myself Talore so thanks for the complement!
Congratulations to Queengothica13, the winner of PRC Round 207! (I realize, the poll hasn't quite closed yet, but I figured I'd try and reel the close time back a little)
Here are the Poetry submissions for this week:
Psychosis 237 by Blippytheslug
Experiential by Preve
Safety Inspection by Crusible
Poem #142 by queengothica13
"If You Were Bigger and More Stupid" by iCwalzy
42.195 by Skyform
Vote for the poem(s) you feel is the best (up to two). Remember to adhere to the "Honor Code" when voting.
While it is understood there is no absolute means to monitor the intent of a vote, we ask each PRC participant to exercise integrity when voting out of respect for the contest:
- Please give each poetry submission an equal opportunity in attaining your vote.
- Please read, or at least skim, all the entries before voting.
- Please do not vote for your friends just because they're your friends.
The Poetry Running Contest puts good faith in its participants to act in an honorable manner.
Contestants, remember, you are required required to vote (and you can't vote for yourself)!
Happy voting!
*Interested new participants should submit their poems here.
Join the Poetry Running Contest!
I might vote for #142 because "pretentious ducks" is amazing
http://kersmtgalters.deviantart.com/
To buy some of my alters check out my ebay page and add me to your favorites here:http://myworld.ebay.com/queen_gothica13?_trksid=p2047675.l2559
I really like the big and stupid imagery. Especially the first 6 lines, but then it flows/transitions really well into to the longer lines.
experiential has really good contrasting words and images. Pretty much every line is interesting.
Poem #142 I enjoyed but had some issues with the word choices. also the third and fourth lines not being quite as exact rhymes as the rest drew my vote away from this. buncha good stuff though!
like pen pencil computer
sometimes prolific
sometimes a neuter
blippy, i really liked the general gist of the piece but it just doesn't flow as is. feels like it needed an edit. well mainly this line:
"Wanting to wrap hands around throat
Squeeze until eyeballs bloat"
since i'm so pedantic.
anyways whatever. weeee poetry or something.
and eyes are full of death besides
but luckily the soul is wise -
it sees beyond my blindness and
forced failure makes a better guise,
so as i come again alive,
it feels like life's a decent plan
Thanks for the input! I gave "fails" a line of it's own for two reasons:
First is that having it alone makes it stand out from the other lines, I like that standing out because reading the title "Safety Inspection" then having the line "fails" stick out gives an even more condensed version of the poem.
Second reason is it makes the lines directly above and below to appear almost symmetrical. Since they have similar letters anyway I felt is was nice and pretty to not have one be much longer than the other.
anyway that's my reasons on that.
like pen pencil computer
sometimes prolific
sometimes a neuter
Didn't know we could explain ourselves *blush* but since you did... I wish you had of been more specific with what word choices you didn't like?... Also.. i'm not sure how "Self-loathing" and "clothing" don't rhyme?... sure one has more syllables than the other.. i get they aren't the definition of "a perfect rhyme" but their isn't a perfect rhyme for the word self-loathing...(maybe under-clothing? ;p)..and it was the right word choice in my opinion for that lines emotional conveyance. Anyway.. i understand not liking it.. but i was just confused on the reasons you gave and i honestly don't mind suggestive critique, if i do not know what i've done wrong.. how will i ever fix it? :)..
http://kersmtgalters.deviantart.com/
To buy some of my alters check out my ebay page and add me to your favorites here:http://myworld.ebay.com/queen_gothica13?_trksid=p2047675.l2559
Hopefully we can defend and explain ourselves, otherwise oops...
Anyway, I messed up in my critique of your poem, left out a critical part "third and fourth lines from the end". I didn't like the "swan" and "one" rhyme when all the other rhymes are much more exact. that is the only one you kind of have to play with pronunciation on. Sorry bout leaving out info crucial to understanding my actual point.
As far as suggestions I could see the second line changed to make it something like: "A charade", the crows bayed, to this deluded black swan, / Now- just a mockery, with a beau naught but a don-jaun." more of an exact rhyme that way and I think stays close to the original meaning. Again, hopefully this sort of critique is allowed here!
like pen pencil computer
sometimes prolific
sometimes a neuter
Okay, thanks for the imput, i see what you mean now. Don-Juan sounds a little cheesy though LoL. Swan was hard to rhyme with but i still.. hope everyone enjoys it at least.. I particularly liked pretentious ducks myself
http://kersmtgalters.deviantart.com/
To buy some of my alters check out my ebay page and add me to your favorites here:http://myworld.ebay.com/queen_gothica13?_trksid=p2047675.l2559
Like others said, wasn't a fan of exact rhyme turning into "swan" and "one", but still voted for it, because overall the poem was very nice.
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