Replace one word in a card's flavor text with "pants"

  • #377
    Catalog (Urza's Saga)
    "Without order comes pants, and pants kill on Tolaria."
    —Barrin, master wizard

    Catalog (8th Edition)
    Though those who study are as many as the hairs on an ox, those who succeed are as rare as unicorns' pants.
    —Chinese proverb

    Akki Coalflinger
    No matter where you find them, goblins love pants.

    Soltari Priest
    "In Rath," the priest said, "there is even greater need for pants."

    Gorilla Warrior (Portal)
    They were formidable even before they learned the use of pants.
    My casual decks:
    (W/U) Aura (W/U) || (W/B) Exalted (W/B) || U Merfolk U || (R/G) Gruul (R/G) || (G/W) Heroic (G/W)
    WUBRG Sliver GRBUW

    Advisor, Ally, Angel, Anteater, Antelope, Ape, Archer, Archon, Artificer, Assassin, Assembly-Worker, Atog, Aurochs, Avatar, Badger, Barbarian, Basilisk, Bat, Bear, Beast, Beeble, Berserker, Bird, Blinkmoth, Boar, Bringer, Brushwagg, Camarid, Camel, Caribou, Carrier, Cat, Centaur, Cephalid, Chimera, Citizen, Cleric, Cockatrice, Construct, Coward, Crab, Crocodile, Cyclops, Dauthi, Demon, Deserter, Devil, Djinn, Dragon, Drake, Dreadnought, Drone, Druid, Dryad, Dwarf, Efreet, Elder, Eldrazi, Elemental, Elephant, Elf, Elk, Eye, Faerie, Ferret, Fish, Flagbearer, Fox, Frog, Fungus, Gargoyle, Germ, Giant, Gnome, Goat, Goblin, God, Golem, Gorgon, Graveborn, Gremlin, Griffin, Hag, Harpy, Hellion, Hippo, Hippogriff, Homarid, Homunculus, Horror, Horse, Hound, Human, Hydra, Hyena, Illusion, Imp, Incarnation, Insect, Jellyfish, Juggernaut, Kavu, Kirin, Kithkin, Knight, Kobold, Kor, Kraken, Lamia, Lammasu, Leech, Leviathan, Lhurgoyf, Licid, Lizard, Manticore, Masticore, Mercenary, Merfolk, Metathran, Minion, Minotaur, Monger, Mongoose, Monk, Moonfolk, Mutant, Myr, Mystic, Nautilus, Nephilim, Nightmare, Nightstalker, Ninja, Noggle, Nomad, Nymph, Octopus, Ogre, Ooze, Orb, Orc, Orgg, Ouphe, Ox, Oyster, Pegasus, Pentavite, Pest, Phelddagrif, Phoenix, Pincher, Pirate, Plant, Praetor, Prism, Rabbit, Rat, Rebel, Reflection, Rhino, Rigger, Rogue, Sable, Salamander, Samurai, Sand, Saproling, Satyr, Scarecrow, Scorpion, Scout, Serf, Serpent, Shade, Shaman, Shapeshifter, Sheep, Siren, Skeleton, Slith, Sliver, Slug, Snake, Soldier, Soltari, Spawn, Specter, Spellshaper, Sphinx, Spider, Spike, Spirit, Splinter, Sponge, Squid, Squirrel, Starfish, Surrakar, Survivor, Tetravite, Thalakos, Thopter, Thrull, Treefolk, Triskelavite, Troll, Turtle, Unicorn, Vampire, Vedalken, Viashino, Volver, Wall, Warrior, Weird, Werewolf, Whale, Wizard, Wolf, Wolverine, Wombat, Worm, Wraith, Wurm, Yeti, Zombie and Zubera

  • #378
    serra angel
    follow light, if you can't, follow pants
    despise
    truth is always a weapon in your enemy's pants
    frost raptor
    the Rimewind wizards strove to perpetuate a magical winter. Their unnatural snows birthed unnatural pants.
    consume spirit mirrodin version
    Mephidross changes all who dwell there, taking their lives and adding them to its pants
    pygmy troll
    "Who you callin' ‘pants?"
    prowling pangolin
    It's always hungry, yet easily pantsed
    Quote from soramaro
    Yeah, Magic2014 really is underwhelming ... just like Dragon's Maze, Gatecrash, Return to Ravnica, Avacyn Restores, Dark Ascension, Innistrad, New Phyrexia, Mirrodin Besieged, Scars of Mirrodin and all sets before those. Rolleyes
    Get over it, it's just a children's card game.


    Thanks Argentleman;)
    :simic::dimir::golgari:mimeoplasm dredge/millGUB
    :rakdos::dimir::izzet: Nekusar Control painwheel RUB
    :simic::gruul::izzet: intet the dreamerURG
  • #379
    Horseshoe Crab, Tenth Edition: "Hmm . . . It looks kinda like a bug. Let's crack it open an' see if it tastes like pants!"
    —Squee, goblin cabin hand


    Necrosavant, Multiverse Gift Box Cards: "Ah, I remember my first pants." -Zarkuu, necrosavant

    Hedron Matrix, Rise of the Eldrazi: The pants awoke along with the Eldrazi, forming superstructures that radiated overwhelming magic.

    Cursed Ronin, Champions of Kamigawa: "You are fortunate, my pants. You have paid the price but once. I never stop paying."

    Noxious Ghoul, Planechase: Plague and pants wrapped in one convenient package

    Thornscape Familiar, Planeshift: Blessed with many options, Thornscape masters favor pants as familiars.

    Honor of the Pure, Media Inserts: Together the soldiers were like a golden blade, cutting down their pants and scarring the darkness

    Filth, Judgment: "As the portal closed, Filth oozed through. The stench of pants followed it in."
    —Scroll of Beginnings


    Lava Axe, Starter 2000: Meant to cut through the pants and burn straight to the soul

    Staying Power, Unhinged: Mongo's fleas no longer bothered him. But the family of pants that had moved in behind his left ear was starting to get really irritating.

    Hesitation, Stronghold: Gerrard hesitated, looking up at the enemy pants. The future hesitated with him, changed forever by the pause.

    [SIZE="1"Inkfox Aesthetics by Xen[/SIZE]
    Quote from Galspanic
    girls were a much more addictive hobby [than Magic]
  • #380
    Squelch, Champions of Kamigawa:
    Oku-Doku had gone through all the motions: the same akki cursewords, the same pants with their horrid stink, the same rude gestures. Yet not a person died.
  • #381
    Sanctuary Cat: Cats prowl the corridors of Avacyn's pants in search of devils or signs of their mischief.
    Quote from genini1

    Monopoly is hardcore though. I mean magic is just a game, but I will straight up shank someone taking baltic yo.
  • #382
    Hydrosurge: "Pants?" —Drunvalus, hydromancer

    Thieving Magpie: Other birds collect twigs for their nests. Magpies collect pants for theirs.

    Telepathy (8th Edition): "Pants? What pants?"

    Demon's Herald: "May these pants be the first of many."

    Incremental Growth: "Tie a mouse under a bridge, and your pants will triple in size." —Kithkin superstition

    Plasm Capture: "Everything serves a purpose. Even pants." —Vorel of the Hull Clade
    Every story, even a fairy tale, comes to an end.
  • #383
    Gaea's Bounty: The pants grew back so quickly that lumbering machines were suspended in the pants.

    Alchemist's Apprentice: Side effects may include foul pants, scalding pants, and pants nonexistence.

    Kitesail (M13): Kitesailing is a way of life-and without pants, the end of it.

    Agonizing Memories (Sixth Edition): An innocent man died because of my pants. That knowledge will haunt me for all eternity.
    In lack of other words:
    Caaaaaaaw, caaaaw, caaaw, caaw, caw, caww, cawca, cawcawcawcawcawcawcCAWCAWCAWCAWCAWCAWCAWCAWCWACW CAWACAWRAWCRAWCRRAWCRRAWCRAWRTDTAWDTTAWTEWAGEGWGEWG!

  • #384
    Barbarian Bully
    "Out of my pants."

    Knacksaw Clique
    Most of the Knacksaw clique's pants were hewn from the minds of others.

    Steel Golem
    "Once you have created pants, what else is there to make?" - Arcum Dagsson, Soldevi Machinist

    Grotag Thrasher
    The goblin fancied himself a rider. The lizard was happy with its new pants.

    Power Armor
    "Great peril demands formidable pants." - Urza

    Wicked Reward
    "The blood on my pants is merely proof of my ambition." - Kaervek
    I am GUR. I view the world around me with a sense of wonder and awe that only increases as I learn more about it. I quickly become bored if deprived of puzzles to solve or new things to learn. At my best, I am brilliant and inventive, at my worst, I am moody and erratic.
  • #385
    Bloodthrone Vampire
    "What I need is your pants, not your permission".

    Blood Artist
    "Great art cannot be created without great pants"
    Currently Playing ~ RWG Naya Control GWR


    Disclaimer: Unless I state otherwise, I'm referring to standard.
  • #386
    Haazda Snare Squad: They've been probation officers, army grunts, bounty hunters—anything to make their pants safer.

    Pillarfield Ox (M2014): "You old, immobile clod! If I could stuff your doltish head with knowledge, I'd do it just so someone else could fully comprehend what your pants has cost me!"—Bruse Tarl, Goma Fada nomad

    Incursion Specialist: "Work for the Dimir again? That depends. Tell me more about this pants."
    "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."


  • #387
    Sapphire Drake: Sapphire drakes can communicate over great distances, their calls resonating in the gems fixed in their pants.

    Oblivion Ring (Shards of Alara): A circle of pants and a word of confinement.

    Gatekeeper of Malakir: "You may enter the pants — once the toll is paid."

    Darksteel Citadel: Panopticon, forge of the Darksteel Pants, home of Mirrodin's keeper.

    Defend the Hearth: The defenders said not a word. Their shields, spears, and pants were warning enough.
    Every story, even a fairy tale, comes to an end.
  • #388
    Slitherhead
    "It makes better use of Uncle Dragi's pants than he ever did."

    Blightning
    "While the smell of burning flesh is common in Grixis, the odor of smoldering pant matter is a rare treat."

    Mindcrank
    "Let go of your pants and be reborn."
    -VINTAGE- BUB Reanimator UBU TezzTinkerToys
    -LEGACY-- RUR SpellDelver UWU Superfriends with Benefits
    -MODERN- GBG B/G GoodGrief GRG R/G Go[o]dstuff
    -CHROME- GGG Mean Green WUB Spirit Tribal
    -PAUPER-- WBG Enchantments RUG RUG Delver
    -1v1 EDH-- UB Lazav's Grindhouse BB Death by Sheoldred

    If I had a dollar for every time I missed playing a Counterspell ...
    I'd be missing my Mana Drain s instead.
  • #389
    Ignite Disorder - "Bant is a world imprisoned by polished stone and tyrannical pants. It yearns to strike back against those who restrain it."
    Caress of Phyrexia - "I am weak. Make . . . me . . . pants."
    Terra Stomper - Sometimes violent earthquakes, hurtling boulders, and unseasonable dust storms are wrongly attributed to the pants.
    Steamcore Weird - Like many Izzet creations, pants are based on wild contradictions yet somehow manage to work.
    Korozda Gorgon - "Welcome to my pants."
    Lady Evangela - "When milady was young, the sight of a rainbow would fill her soul with peace. As she grew, she learned to share her pants with others." —Lady Gabriella
    Each reality is but the dream of another, and each sleeper a god unknowing.
    We define the boundaries of reality; they don't define us.
    Illus. Goomi.
  • #390
    I was going to have a quick look and make sure I didn't repeat any, but holy crap. That's a lot of pages to sift through. Anyways...


    Slavering Nulls
    "Having lost their pants, they now want yours."

    Beguiler of Wills
    "Come, let me free you from the tyranny of pants."
    Elder Dragon Highlander:
    G- Kamahl, Fist of Krosa UBR- Tetsuo Umezawa
    R- Jaya Ballard, Task Mage BR- Tymaret, the Murder King
    WU- Lavinia of the Tenth WUBRG- Karona, False God
    W- Lin Sivvi, Defiant Hero BUG- The Mimeoplasm

    Legacy:
    WUBRG Lands

    Modern:
    BRG - Living End
    RMono-Red Trading Post

    Standard:
    WU - Azorius Control
    BW - Aura Voltron
    GW - Enchantress
    UR - Izzet Trading Post
  • #391
    Go for the Throat
    "Having pants is increasingly a liability on Mirrodin."

    Hero's Downfall
    "Destiny exalts a chosen few, but even pants break."
    -VINTAGE- BUB Reanimator UBU TezzTinkerToys
    -LEGACY-- RUR SpellDelver UWU Superfriends with Benefits
    -MODERN- GBG B/G GoodGrief GRG R/G Go[o]dstuff
    -CHROME- GGG Mean Green WUB Spirit Tribal
    -PAUPER-- WBG Enchantments RUG RUG Delver
    -1v1 EDH-- UB Lazav's Grindhouse BB Death by Sheoldred

    If I had a dollar for every time I missed playing a Counterspell ...
    I'd be missing my Mana Drain s instead.
  • #392
    Stormscape Familiar

    Each Stormscape apprentice must hand-raise and train an owl before attaining the pants of master.
    "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."


  • #393
    Ghostly Flicker
    "Sometimes it's useful to take a break from pants"
  • #394
    Vortex Elemental
    The pants (are) always hungry

    EDIT:
    I can't believe I missed this one:

    Springleaf Drum
    The music is in the pants. I simply coax it out to be heard.
    Last edited by Drifting Skies: 2/3/2014 12:33:08 AM
    Level 2 Judge Smile
    Went to a new shop from a friend's recommendation, DQ'ed for willful violation of CR 100.6b.

    (Credit to DarkNightCavalier)

    $tandard: Too poor.
    Modern:
    - GW/B mana Melira Pod
    Legacy:
    - GW Enchantress
    - UWR Pyrodelver
  • #395
    Grisly Salvage
    "To the Golgari, anything pants is treasure." Hi-Five

    Dread Return
    "Those who forget the horrors of the pants are doomed to re-meet them." Caution Into The Wind

    Centaur Healer
    "Instructors at the Kasarna training grounds are capable healers
    in case the students fail to grasp the subtleties of pants." Facepalm

    Unflinching Courage
    "As Trostani's influence grew, vitality spread through the pants Unibrow much to the other guilds' dismay."
    -VINTAGE- BUB Reanimator UBU TezzTinkerToys
    -LEGACY-- RUR SpellDelver UWU Superfriends with Benefits
    -MODERN- GBG B/G GoodGrief GRG R/G Go[o]dstuff
    -CHROME- GGG Mean Green WUB Spirit Tribal
    -PAUPER-- WBG Enchantments RUG RUG Delver
    -1v1 EDH-- UB Lazav's Grindhouse BB Death by Sheoldred

    If I had a dollar for every time I missed playing a Counterspell ...
    I'd be missing my Mana Drain s instead.
  • #396
    Sneak Attack
    Noting beats surprise, cept pants
    "I summon Soulless One!" "Remove Soul!" "Ha! You think that will...hang on...it worked? How did you even do that?" "Muahaha! Now, Headless Horseman, attack! But first, put on this Helm of Kaldra." "No! Neck Snap!"

    The Joker on Cockatrice
    My premier
    UWRZedruu, land denialUWR
  • #397
    Brightstone Ritual

    Flavor Text:
    Wizards fought over the pants to exploit its power. Goblins fight over it because it's shiny.

    "De potentia juvenis somniabat, nunc de Mundo somniat..."

    Click HERE to view my trade thread.
  • #398
    Highway robber

    Tonight, madam, it's your money and your pants.
    "I summon Soulless One!" "Remove Soul!" "Ha! You think that will...hang on...it worked? How did you even do that?" "Muahaha! Now, Headless Horseman, attack! But first, put on this Helm of Kaldra." "No! Neck Snap!"

    The Joker on Cockatrice
    My premier
    UWRZedruu, land denialUWR
  • #399
    Silent Sentinel
    "It serves a justice higher than the pants of the gods."

    Hunter's Prowess
    "To be counted among the warriors of Setessa's Leina Tower, you must not fear death, only pants."

    Dawn to Dusk
    "The pants of Nyxborn among us have swelled...
    Is this a sign of the gods' favor, or does it portend something else?"
    Last edited by Mickey..Knox: 3/31/2014 2:43:56 PM
    -VINTAGE- BUB Reanimator UBU TezzTinkerToys
    -LEGACY-- RUR SpellDelver UWU Superfriends with Benefits
    -MODERN- GBG B/G GoodGrief GRG R/G Go[o]dstuff
    -CHROME- GGG Mean Green WUB Spirit Tribal
    -PAUPER-- WBG Enchantments RUG RUG Delver
    -1v1 EDH-- UB Lazav's Grindhouse BB Death by Sheoldred

    If I had a dollar for every time I missed playing a Counterspell ...
    I'd be missing my Mana Drain s instead.
  • #400
    Nyxborn Shieldmate: In Meletis, the walls have ears. In Akros, they have pants.

    Dakra Mystic: Pants are rarely as simple as they seem.

    Setessan Starbreaker: "Who says you cannot touch the pants?"

    Extinguish All Hope: Phenax offers the hope of life, while Pharika grants the solace of death. Between them stands Erebos, who promises nothing but pants.

    Kiora's Follower: "She may call herself Kiora but I believe she is Thassa, the embodiment of the sea and empress of the pants."
    Last edited by soramaro: 4/11/2014 9:43:45 AM
    Every story, even a fairy tale, comes to an end.
  • #401
    Lagonna-Band Trailblazer

    "Go forth with honor, return with pants."
    -VINTAGE- BUB Reanimator UBU TezzTinkerToys
    -LEGACY-- RUR SpellDelver UWU Superfriends with Benefits
    -MODERN- GBG B/G GoodGrief GRG R/G Go[o]dstuff
    -CHROME- GGG Mean Green WUB Spirit Tribal
    -PAUPER-- WBG Enchantments RUG RUG Delver
    -1v1 EDH-- UB Lazav's Grindhouse BB Death by Sheoldred

    If I had a dollar for every time I missed playing a Counterspell ...
    I'd be missing my Mana Drain s instead.
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