2WW Return all Vengevines from your graveyard to play. Return Kor Skyfisher to your hand.
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Look at my name...what did you expect?
Thank you WOTC for introducing the Modern format, a format where all the whiners can enjoy a level playing field and where they can play with none of the best cards of all time!
Deprive: float three blue mana, counter target spell. pretend that there is ANYTHING in STANDARD you could do at the end of your opponents turn that would be worthwhile for 1 blue.
lightening bolt: proof power creep lives, breaths, and doesn't fear this thing.
path to exile:ramp target player. remove their win condition from the game.
Duress
Card reads: Target opponent reveals his or her hand. If opponent mulliganed and now tilts for more than 10 second, you win the game.
Fixed. Duress is such a nice, efficient, 1 for 1, but I really play it just for the random games when opponent reveals four lands, a noble heierarch and an elspeth.
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I'll be sad if people don't start calling The Chain Veil "Fleetwood Mac."
Blightning: HAHA just when you thought you could turn the game on Jund next turn when youre at nine health....well youre now at six life and lost your hand.
Bloodbraid Elf2RG
Creature - Elf Berserker
Haste
Whenever you cast Bloodbraid Elf, choose one at random - Deal 3 damage to target player. That player discards two cards, Destroy target nonland permanent and all permanents with the same name, Destroy target creature. It can't be regenerated, Deal 3 damage to target creature or player, put a 3/3 creature into play with "Whenever this is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, put 3 1/1 green Saproling creature tokens into play", put a 2/2 creature into play with "Pay 2 Life: This gets +2/+2 until end of turn"
3/2
Halo Hunter 2BBB
Creature -- Demon
Intimidate
When Halo Hunter enters the battlefield destroy target Baneslayer...wait, darn.
I prefer
Halo Hunter 2BBB
Creature -- Demon
Intimidate
When Halo Hunter enters the battlefield curse Wizards for their lame attempt at a joke.
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Look at my name...what did you expect?
Thank you WOTC for introducing the Modern format, a format where all the whiners can enjoy a level playing field and where they can play with none of the best cards of all time!
Spreading Seas
If Spreading Seas is in your library you may mulligan to 8 cards instead of 6. If Spreading Seas is in your opening hand, your opponent skips their second and third turns.
Lightning Bolt
Cause any Mythic player to wish they had mulliganed.
Bloodbraid Elf2RG
Creature - Elf Berserker
Haste
Whenever you cast Bloodbraid Elf, choose one at random - Deal 3 damage to target player. That player discards two cards, Destroy target nonland permanent and all permanents with the same name, Destroy target creature. It can't be regenerated, Deal 3 damage to target creature or player, put a 3/3 creature into play with "Whenever this is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, put 3 1/1 green Saproling creature tokens into play", put a 2/2 creature into play with "Pay 2 Life: This gets +2/+2 until end of turn"
Baneslayer Angel3WW
Creature - Angel
Flying, first strike, lifelink, protection from Demons and Dragons
Target opponent playing RDW checks to see if your in burn range and checks to see if burn is in hand. If not, that player yells "FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU..."
5/5
In summation.....Star Trek wins a prolonged naval battle against superior, yet less technologically advanced, numbers, with Picard leading the assault, while Kirk takes your soul by laying out Solo and probably his manservant Chewy as well, before impregnating and ditching your Princess.
When Spreading Seas enters the battlefield, draw a card. Skrew over target Jund player
Enchanted land is now useless.
To be fair, it can still pay colorless mana in costs.
Alright, another one (this is too much fun):
DepriveUU
Instant
As an additional cost to cast Deprive, return a land you control to your hand.
Counter target spell.
Whenever you cast Deprive, wish really really hard that the first line of rules text on Deprive was gone and then cry yourself to sleep tonight.
Chandra Ablaze4RR
Planeswalker - Chandra
Abilities: +1 - You lose card advantage. Deal 4 damage to target creature or player if you happen to be playing an all red deck that isn't RDW (wait, why AREN'T you playing RDW?) -2 - Take two counters off of Chandra for an ability that is absolutely useless unless you hate your hand, in which case WHY DID YOU KEEP IT THIS LONG? You still do not gain card advantage. -7 - Win a game that, in all likelihood, you have already won. Congrats.
Flavor text - "Jace 2.0 has 4CMC and I have 6? WTF????" - Chandra
Spreading Seas U1
Enchant Land
When Spreading Seas comes into play, search your library for a card named Spreading Seas and put it into your hand, then shuffle your library.
Enchanted land is an island.
Jace Beleren
Enchantment
When Jace Beleren comes into play, if there is a permanent named "Jace, the Mindsculptor" on the battlefield, destroy that permanent and sacrifice Jace Beleren.
Whenever a spell named "Jace, the Mindsculptor" is cast, counter it and sacrifice Jace Beleren.
Battlegrace Angel
Creature - Angel
When Battlegrace Angel enters the battlefield, player must quickly rationalize why she's NOT a budget replacement for Baneslayer Angel.
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For those scientifically inclined, check this out. Some interesting points for you to consider.
So here are a couple examples of what some standard cards have basically turned into, see if you can come up with some as well!
Ardent Plea
1UWEnchantment
Exalted, Cascade
Turn target manland into an Island, draw a card
Kor Skyfisher
This card basically reads:
2WW Return all Vengevines from your graveyard to play. Return Kor Skyfisher to your hand.
Thank you WOTC for introducing the Modern format, a format where all the whiners can enjoy a level playing field and where they can play with none of the best cards of all time!
Emrakul, The Aeons Torn
Card reads: Good Game
Maelstrom Pulse
Card reads: Destroy all Oblivion Rings
Gideon Jura
Flavor text (if Planeswalkers had any) reads: "Jace and I are getting an apartment together!" - Gideon Jura
Duress
Card reads: Target opponent reveals his or her hand. You choose the Planeswalker. Opponent discards Planeswalker.
TBD...
So you thought playing RDW was a good idea, did you?
ROFLMAO.
seriously, those guys have become "good close friends" if you know what I mean.
Standard
WUW/U HumansUW
Modern
WBW/B TokensBW
lightening bolt: proof power creep lives, breaths, and doesn't fear this thing.
path to exile:ramp target player. remove their win condition from the game.
blightening: ☺☺☺☺ YO' COUCH!
baneslayer angel, jace, the mindsculptor,Gideon Jura: "WoTC cares more about the health of the game than money. clearly!"
blood braid elf: I'm not inheirently broken. unless everything costs only three in your deck. THEN I'M AMAZING.
ponder: one day I'll be a brainstorm, ONE DAY!
pithing needle: surprise, surprise!
Thanks, Heroes of The Planes! You guys are great!
Actual Truth:
Fixed. Duress is such a nice, efficient, 1 for 1, but I really play it just for the random games when opponent reveals four lands, a noble heierarch and an elspeth.
Blightning: HAHA just when you thought you could turn the game on Jund next turn when youre at nine health....well youre now at six life and lost your hand.
Creature - Elf Berserker
Haste
Whenever you cast Bloodbraid Elf, choose one at random - Deal 3 damage to target player. That player discards two cards, Destroy target nonland permanent and all permanents with the same name, Destroy target creature. It can't be regenerated, Deal 3 damage to target creature or player, put a 3/3 creature into play with "Whenever this is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, put 3 1/1 green Saproling creature tokens into play", put a 2/2 creature into play with "Pay 2 Life: This gets +2/+2 until end of turn"
3/2
Creature -- Demon
Intimidate
When Halo Hunter enters the battlefield destroy target Baneslayer...wait, darn.
I prefer
Halo Hunter 2BBB
Creature -- Demon
Intimidate
When Halo Hunter enters the battlefield curse Wizards for their lame attempt at a joke.
Thank you WOTC for introducing the Modern format, a format where all the whiners can enjoy a level playing field and where they can play with none of the best cards of all time!
"Do I win?"
Iona, Shield of Emeria:
"I do win."
2011-2012:Bantblade, BantPod
2010-2011:Bant Shaman, Naya Shaman, Naya allies + Scars, URG Turboforce
2009-2010:Naya allies, Mono-White Titan Control
If Spreading Seas is in your library you may mulligan to 8 cards instead of 6. If Spreading Seas is in your opening hand, your opponent skips their second and third turns.
Lightning Bolt
Cause any Mythic player to wish they had mulliganed.
Dauntless Escort
Make your opponent wish Hallowed Burial was still in standard.
ROFL soooo true
Epic
TBD...
Counter target resolved Devastating Summons.
"Didn't see that coming..."
Creature - Angel
Flying, first strike, lifelink, protection from Demons and Dragons
Target opponent playing RDW checks to see if your in burn range and checks to see if burn is in hand. If not, that player yells "FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU..."
5/5
Enchant Jund land
When Spreading Seas enters the battlefield, draw a card. Skrew over target Jund player
Enchanted land is now useless.
"For $70 you can Brainstorm every turn, Unsummon every turn, or TopDeckLandScrew your opponent every turn"
"Massive card advantage wins games" - Jace TMS
"Why didn't I think of that?" - Chandra Ablaze
To be fair, it can still pay colorless mana in costs.
Alright, another one (this is too much fun):
Deprive UU
Instant
As an additional cost to cast Deprive, return a land you control to your hand.
Counter target spell.
Whenever you cast Deprive, wish really really hard that the first line of rules text on Deprive was gone and then cry yourself to sleep tonight.
Planeswalker - Chandra
Abilities:
+1 - You lose card advantage. Deal 4 damage to target creature or player if you happen to be playing an all red deck that isn't RDW (wait, why AREN'T you playing RDW?)
-2 - Take two counters off of Chandra for an ability that is absolutely useless unless you hate your hand, in which case WHY DID YOU KEEP IT THIS LONG? You still do not gain card advantage.
-7 - Win a game that, in all likelihood, you have already won. Congrats.
Flavor text - "Jace 2.0 has 4CMC and I have 6? WTF????" - Chandra
TBD...
Enchant Land
When Spreading Seas comes into play, search your library for a card named Spreading Seas and put it into your hand, then shuffle your library.
Enchanted land is an island.
They always draw 3...
Enchantment
When Jace Beleren comes into play, if there is a permanent named "Jace, the Mindsculptor" on the battlefield, destroy that permanent and sacrifice Jace Beleren.
Whenever a spell named "Jace, the Mindsculptor" is cast, counter it and sacrifice Jace Beleren.
When savage lands comes into play, target opponent sighs.
Creature - Angel
When Battlegrace Angel enters the battlefield, player must quickly rationalize why she's NOT a budget replacement for Baneslayer Angel.
http://www.fourdimensionalphysics.com/index.html
Nice.
Tooth and Nail 5GG
Search your library fo Kiki-Jiki and Pestermite, you jerk.
(I know it isn't Standard, but I couldn't resist)