Chuck Norris finished the "All You Can Eat Buffet" at a restaraunt. When they told him they were out of food, he killed every member of the restaraunt's staff with one continuous roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris's bones are made of Norrisadium No. 1337. Basically, it's one large piece of matter and can't be destroyed... period->.<-
Chuck Norris (in order to mix things up) once Squarehouse kicked someone in the face... there's a reason this event isn't recorded (poor atlantis :()
Chuck Norris can punch a pepperoni threw your face.
Chuck Norris can kick a hole threw a 2 ft. thick steel plate, w/o using his feet or legs.
Chuck Norris once arm wrestled God, the sweat from the twos exertion caused the great flood, and God was so sorry he made the rainbow. (Chuck Norris conceeded the match after 40 days because he felt like taking a swim instead).
When Chuck Norris hits spell check, instead of changing the words in the paper, it fixed the dictionary in it's database.
I have a friend who's semi-obsessed with Chuck Norris and he memorized a lot of those quotes (not sure where he found them, not here). I'm sure now that you know that, you'll finally be able to sleep through the nights you'd previously endured turning about in your sheets and wondering about some random person you don't know who knows someone semi-obsessed with Chuck Norris.
Chuck norris one bumped into a blind man, and the blind man could now see, but the last thing he saw was chuck norris roundhouse kicking him in the face.
If Chuck Norris would register on this site, he would immediately be promoted to administrator with 45,000 posts, and he'd be winning every current contest.
"Hello! I've come to serenade you. I can't play guitar. I can't play this accordion either, but I thought it'd be less obvious."
Dylan Moran, Black Books
"Hello! I've come to serenade you. I can't play guitar. I can't play this accordion either, but I thought it'd be less obvious."
Dylan Moran, Black Books
To post a comment, please login or register a new account.
I like: 'chuck norris counted to infinite, twice' better.
Chuck Norris (in order to mix things up) once Squarehouse kicked someone in the face... there's a reason this event isn't recorded (poor atlantis :()
Chuck Norris can punch a pepperoni threw your face.
Chuck Norris can kick a hole threw a 2 ft. thick steel plate, w/o using his feet or legs.
Chuck Norris once arm wrestled God, the sweat from the twos exertion caused the great flood, and God was so sorry he made the rainbow. (Chuck Norris conceeded the match after 40 days because he felt like taking a swim instead).
When Chuck Norris hits spell check, instead of changing the words in the paper, it fixed the dictionary in it's database.
Twomz's Trading thread
|[Æther]|The Birth of Mr. Mxyzptlk|
Twomz's Trading thread
WHAT!!! Video, must have the video, ahhhhhhhhhh!11!!1!
The internet is like drugs, it can be alot of fun, but most people on it say really stupid stuff
Chuck Norris killed the dinosaurs, the crater they found is the impact from his roundhouse kick, not a meteorite.
There was no bubonic plague, only Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once ate an entire 747 jet, passengers and all.
There was once a continent between Europe and North America, until it met Chuck Norris.
Sorry, guys, I have no video, I only saw it on T.V. this morning.
My List
"The best cure for a big ego is a little failure"
-Turnabout
Legacy:
Stasis
Prolifer-hate
February 2006 FCC Winner! ^^
My Trade List - Retired/Not Updated -
Chuck Norris applauds your effort, then destroys you with a roundbarn kick to the face.
Twomz's Trading thread
Chuck Norris doesnt wear jeans. The jeans are priveleged enough to wear Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can kill you on the first turn, during his draw step.
i sincerely hope someone got my Jimmy Hoffa joke.
Chuck Norris is so bad, he can make you roundhouse kick yourself in the face.
The miliary uses Chuck Norris' beard shavings to make bullet-proof vests for the troops.
Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick you so hard, he knocks the teeth back in your head.
Yay. Move over Goblinboy.
Thanks guys. I'm flattered.
Friend of [Robot Jesus]
Don't worry, I'll have whoever made this gimmick tortured ala Lust in Seven and then purged.
Besides, you have an underscore and DMX eats Norrises for breakfast. Also, Robot Jesus screwed your mother:
"Robot Jesus
He went back in time, impregnated Wieland Norris
Created Duncan MacLeod out of clay, saved Highlander for us."
Owner of Senori's Soul
Friend of RBS, FFFB, 499, Mythos, House Dimir, Rakdos, and Hyrule.
Dictator of
[thread=43661][/thread]
spanglegluppet dot com
"Hello! I've come to serenade you. I can't play guitar. I can't play this accordion either, but I thought it'd be less obvious."
Dylan Moran, Black Books
The last time Chuck Norris tried to use the internet, he accidentaly set off a nuclear explosion in Montana. So, he doesn't.
Owner of Senori's Soul
Friend of RBS, FFFB, 499, Mythos, House Dimir, Rakdos, and Hyrule.
Dictator of
[thread=43661][/thread]
spanglegluppet dot com
"Hello! I've come to serenade you. I can't play guitar. I can't play this accordion either, but I thought it'd be less obvious."
Dylan Moran, Black Books