To everyone on the forum, I want to apologize for not being able to finish past ideas I've had. BUT, in that being said and the long hiatus, I've now begun my masterpiece and I would like to share it with you. I'm open to suggestions and as I get to adding more cards, please comment concerns as I will observe and take note if any changes would be necessary or wise. If so, I'll credit the user who made the suggestion as I'm human and I can take critique.
Update 2-13-16: Ok, new card is going up and a new mechanic is revealed after some, setbacks in design. Sorry for the wait as I got about 1/3 of the set complete now!
Raziel X
WELCOME TO THE REALM OF GRIMWORKS.
Backstory on creating Grimworks: I was looking through some of my books and I found the Brother's Grimm. After reading through several pages, I figured "If the characters all coexisted in the Multiverse in the corners of oblivion, then maybe I can rewrite history." Thus Grimworks was born.
The Story of Grimworks:
The Realm of Grimworks is without shapers and walkers with sparks in the beginning. But where a spark wasn't kindling, ideas shaped the land, evil fought good and history began anew with five territories that would be changed, forever...
///
The Desert Kingdom of Kunari (W): The Kunari Desert (also referred to as "The Ivory Sands") was the home of the great Sultana, Jazmine and her loyal and trusted royal vizier, Jorda. Jorda was a humble man with little ambition of displeasing Jazmine or causing trouble for her. He did everything he could to make her happy and in time, become one of the most trusted men she ever knew. She even considered him a suitable marriage partner. But that was before he ventured into the sands to investigate a group of nomadic bandits known only to the locals as "The Ebony Runners".
As he chased them all over the Kunari Desert, he was led into a trap and was engulfed into the lower bowels of the desert via sandworm. As he discovered an underworld of mystery and allure, he wandered and wandered until he found a tome with the number "I" on it. As he read the tome, Jazmine began to make moves herself to keep the peace and keep the "Ebony Runners" as bay. With some steady decisions and following the guidance of Jorda before he left for hunt them down, she became stronger, wiser, stoic and unrelenting in her efforts of order.
///
The Seas of Goldine (U): Goldine is a troubled land (or seas, your choice) that is filled with mystcal and ancient magic that is rewarded to the foolhardy and the bold. Nepta, the youngest daughter and one of two remaining survivors of the throne took the reigns of her fathers kingdom after Neptune himself was killed by Ursula in a freak accident and Ariel abandoned her position to live a foreign life above the Seas of Goldine. Ursula, who was supposedly left for dead by Ariel's hands lurked the dark depths of Goldine, allowing herself to regain what little strength remained and began to orchestrate a series of events that would put Goldine in a state of civil unrest.
But to do that, she would need to regain a forgotten magic art that would allow her to enslave and corrupt the feeble minds of the mermaids and merfolk of the deep. She knew where it was at and she didn't need assistance from anyone to get there. All that was left was to make the pilgrimage to what the mermaids call "Blacksea Depths". Wind of Ursula's possible escape from death put Nepta on edge and she began researching her father's life work to keep Ursula and any other bane away from Goldine.
///
Blightmarsh (B): A devilsh land that was once the envy of all of Grimworks. It was a beautiful and peaceful land, until Wendella entered the land. Within a span of two short years, she transformed Terra's Point into the hellish abomination that is, Blightmarsh. The fae were enslaved; the hag, hagravens, and witches took control of the lands they can grab under the guidance and blessing of Wendella herself. Within the few places uncorrupted by Wendella, a small resistance led by her stepdaughter, Freya, would plan, execute, and reclaim some of the lands and ultimately attempt to resurrect Terra's Point.
That was until Wendella got tipped off from a traitor among the resistance that Freya was going to take her life with the use of a spell she recently learned. With time running out, Freya must take full advantage of the spell, lest she becomes Wendella's latest victim of malice.
///
Iceju Peak (R): Not much is known of Iceju Peak before the dwarves inhabited the mountainside. They expanded the knowledge they brought from wherever they started from and built the city fortress, Heidiyard. The peaks continued to be explored and expanded with little in the way of opposition. That as until Doc Steamwater, pioneer of the dwarven expansion discovered them, the Giants of Iceju Peak, led by the elder, Siege.
Without so much as greetings or warning, the two races were engaged in combat with neither side conceding or relenting. After years of fighting and conflict, Doc Steamwater developed new weaponry to put an end to the war. But that isn't to say that Siege wasn't prepared....
///
Jerekwood, the Forest of Dawn and Dusk (G): Jerekwood is understandable mysterious. One minute the dawn and sun give way to safe passage and the next, dusk consumes the trees and moon reveals dangers around every corner. The hamlet of Greenhelm knew the dangers that Jerekwood presented and throughout time, steady themselves to protect their own. But that changed when the "Five Fangs" appeared: The Alpha, Beta, Delta, Gamma, and Psi pack of wolves. Each one of the packs were dangerous, but it was the Alpha pack that everyone feared. The reason: Wesley, leader of the all the packs. By his hands alone, he unified all the packs under his control, murdered Marietta R. Hood and disabled Robin Hood for good.
Seeing that enough was enough, Redda R. Hood (late mother of Marietta R. Hood, wife of Robin Hood) took arms and learned to hunt to predators from the hunters of old and the poachers of yore. She knew enough to not only seek vengeance for her family, but to take a bigger role, protect not only Greenhelm, but all of Jerekwood.
Characters
WU: Jazmine, Sultana of Kunari
Jazmine's beginnings were of a simple and peaceful origin. She was the only daughter of the Sultan at the time, Sultan Amhad Juit. Not knowing her mother for her life, Amhad raised her to become one day, the Sulatana of Kunari. Her lessons varied from simple language to advanced tactics of war and even courtesies of foreign policies. She was put to a much higher standard than the rest of the kingdom.
That peaceful standard was ruined on her 19th birthday. Amhad held a banquet and the most powerful rulers came to partake in the festivities. He went away to talk to Wendella (At this time, the adviser to Queen Julie of Terra's Point) about future meetings and a possible alliance. The night continued and Jazmine met up with a stunning young man by the name of Jorga. Jorga was well versed with Kunari and studied hard to be invited to the banquet. They danced, laughed and in all fair game, enjoyed the night.
But, just as Jazmine found some happiness, the guards stormed the main lobby and ordered everyone visiting Kunari to leave. Much to her dismay, Jazmine asked Jorga to follow her and they were on their way to see what would be, her father's corpse. She was overwhelmed with sadness and grief as she just cried into Jorga's chest. A week later, she would assume the position of Sultana by a final decree left by Amhad just in case the worst happened. After what happened, she also decided to reintroduce an old law that was abolished by Amhad himself: the service of a royal vizier. She appointed Jorga to become not only her mentor, but the royal vizier as well as he wasn't a stranger to combat and danger.
Weeks of training ensued until on that fateful day, Jorga got wind of a band of nomads calling themselves "The Ebony Runners" causing mayhem in the outskirts of Kunari. He quickly left to pursue the troublemakers while Jazmine attended to her work and office. But, that was weeks ago and still no sign of Jorga. She took matters into her own hands and took absolute control and locked down Kunari until Jorga returned.
Mechanics
(Land) Wander- When this creature enters the battlefield, it gets +1/+1 until the end of turn. As long as any player controls a (Land), put a +1/+1 counter or a mystic counter on this creature at the beginning of your upkeep.
(Land) Wander is a compound static ability.
The creature with this ability gets the bonus as long as one player has said [land].
Multiple instances of [Land] Wander is redundant.
Mystify: Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, put a mystic counter on that player or any creature that player controls.
Mystify is a triggered ability.
Whenever a creature with this ability deals combat damage to a player, this ability activates. It can target that player or any creature that it can target (Abilities such as Hexproof and Shroud may apply).
Any player can have multiple mystic counters on them. The same can be said for any creature with mystic counters.
Unless stated, mystic counters are there as a "mystified" state. They don't achieve anything alone and will only be relevant once a card that interacts with them is present.
Multiple instances of Mystify are redundant.
Cloak: This creature is unblockable.
Cloak is a static ability.
Creatures with this ability can't be blocked at all.
If an ability or card would remove this ability, the creature is no longer "Cloaked" and can be blocked as normal.
Multiple instances of Cloak is redundant.
Plague (Cost): At the beginning of target player’s upkeep, you may pay (Cost) instead of it’s mana cost. If you do, put a mystic counter on you and you lose two life.
Plague is a replacement ability.
During any player's upkeep, you can play this spell as if it were an instant.
At any other phase of the turn, you can't play it for it's Plague cost the turn.
If the upkeep phase is skipped or bypassed, you can't cast the spell for the plague cost.
If the card has Flashback and Plague on it, you can play it for the Plague cost during the upkeep phase. Also, it is has Flashback, it gets exiled as per the ruling on Flashback.
Multiple instances of Plague is redundant.
Lotus (Mana): When this creature enters the battlefield, you may add (Mana) to your mana pool. If you do, end the turn after this phase.
Lotus is a ETB ability.
You have the option to add the mana to your mana pool or not. If you do, the turn will end upon the end of the phase. If you don't elect to take the mana, the turn will continue as normal.
Multiple instances of Lotus is redundant.
MurderWhenever this creature deals damage to a creature, exile that creature and this creature becomes a copy of that creature. Exile this creature at the end of your next turn.
Murder is a triggered ability.
As long as the creature was dealt damage, the effect of murder takes place.
If Murder's end of turn ability is countered at the end of your next turn, the creature remains on the battlefield and no further ability checks is required.
Multiple instances of Murder is redundant.
Cards: 7/275 (Color breakdown is to be determined at a later date)
White: 3/??
Blanc Mastiff- W
Creature- Hound (C)
Mountain Wander- ( (When this creature enters the battlefield, it gets +1/+1 until the end of turn. As long as any player controls a Mountain, put a +1/+1 counter or a mystic counter on this creature at the beginning of your upkeep.)) “The hounds of Kunari are loyal, but underwhelming to say the least.” Jafar, Sands Explorer
0/2
Blinding Mirage- 8W
Sorcery- Plague (R)
Exile all creatures and put X 1/1 white hornets with flying and lifelink onto the battlefield where X is half the total number of creatures exiled this way rounded down.
Plague 3WW (At the beginning of target player’s upkeep, you may pay 3WW instead of it’s mana cost. If you do, put a mystic counter on you and you lose two life.))
Jazmine, Diligent Leader- 4WW
Legendary Creature- Human Adviser (MR)
Whenever you detain more than four creatures during the combat phase, transform Jazmine, Diligent Leader. WW: Detain target attacking creature.
2/6
//// W/Jazmine, Sultana Absolute
Legendary Creature- Human Adviser (MR)
Flying, Vigilance
Creatures with mystic counters can’t attack or block unless that creature’s control pays 2 for each mystic counter on that creature.
5/9
Red: 1/??
Ember Igniters- RR
Creature- Dwarf Soldier (C)
Choose one:
- Creatures with mystic counters get +2/-1
- Creatures without mystic counters gain first strike. “Fan the flames! We’re building for the fight!” Doc Steamwater, Hybrid Master
Green: 1/??
Alpha Wolf Gang- 2G
Creature- Werewolf Warrior (C)
Trample 6G: Target creature with a mystic counter fights another target creature. “INSTIGATE THE FIGHT! I want to see BLOOD before dusk!” Wesley, Jerekwood Hoodlum
2/1
Black: 2/??
Quick Demise- B
Instant (R)
Destroy target creature and lose two life. If the creature was legendary, lose six life instead. “Vengeance will be mine. Marietta will not go unavenged, Wesley!” Redda Hood, Protector of the Forest
Blindeye Stalker- 3B
Creature- Octopus Witch (C)
Deathtouch
Whenever this creature gets a mystic counter on it, transform Blindeye Stalker. B,T: Put a mystic counter on Blindeye Stalker. You may activate this ability only if this creature killed another creature this turn.
3/2
////// Mystic Covenant- (U/B)
Creature- Octopus Witch
Murder (Whenever this creature deals damage to a creature, exile that creature and this creature becomes a copy of that creature. Exile this creature at the end of your next turn.)
U,T: Counter target activated or triggered ability. You may activate this ability if this creature killed another creature this turn. Remove a mystic counter from Mystic Covenant and transform it.
4/1
Blue: 1/??
Ursula's Branding- 2U
Enchantment- Aura (U)
Enchant Creature
Enchanted creature gains Island Wander ( (When this creature enters the battlefield, it gets +1/+1 until the end of turn. As long as any player controls a Island, put a +1/+1 counter or a mystic counter on this creature at the beginning of your upkeep.)) “My gifts always come at a price, you poor unfortunate soul.” Ursula to Nepta
MECHANICS REVIEW
(EDIT: not mecganics :))
Wander is essentially remaking the mistake that was Landwalk. Nothing really to say other than immediately bin it- it won't play well. The problem with this sort of mechanic is that it is an opponent matters mechanic- it's better or worse depending on what the opponent is doing and rarely what you are doing. Mechanics need to be controllable- it's a major part of the strategy in each- to figure out how to make the best use of the set's mechanics.
Mystify: I can see several concerns but none of them are fatal for this mechanic, so this may well be doable. However, these concerns- the use of a unique counter type on crestures precenting the use of +1/+1 counters, it being perhaps too open ended, and it being parasitic- need to be taken into account.
Plague: what's the point? What role does this mechanic serve. It does something, but why? The previous two have obvious themes that can explored using them, but the only example here would be in Hellbent territory, which has proven to be an area that isn't very fun.
Lotus: the 'end the turn' part is clearly too complex for common, given that such an effect is not clear in how it works. This also doesn't seem to fill a concrete role.
Scorch: I would definitely rename to work in and/or , as the current name is very . Also no clear role.
GENERAL SUGGESTIONS
posting a clear design goal is useful as a reference.
Develop a more clear set of themes mechanically. What makes this set play differently- including thematic feel? Reference the general idea here in your design goal as well as any broad world ideas that are important (which you seem to have).
MECGANICS REVIEW
Wander is essentially remaking the mistake that was Landwalk. Nothing really to say other than immediately bin it- it won't play well. The problem with this sort of mechanic is that it is an opponent matters mechanic- it's better or worse depending on what the opponent is doing and rarely what you are doing. Mechanics need to be controllable- it's a major part of the strategy in each- to figure out how to make the best use of the set's mechanics.
Mystify: I can see several concerns but none of them are fatal for this mechanic, so this may well be doable. However, these concerns- the use of a unique counter type on crestures precenting the use of +1/+1 counters, it being perhaps too open ended, and it being parasitic- need to be taken into account.
Plague: what's the point? What role does this mechanic serve. It does something, but why? The previous two have obvious themes that can explored using them, but the only example here would be in Hellbent territory, which has proven to be an area that isn't very fun.
Lotus: the 'end the turn' part is clearly too complex for common, given that such an effect is not clear in how it works. This also doesn't seem to fill a concrete role.
Scorch: I would definitely rename to work in and/or , as the current name is very . Also no clear role.
GENERAL SUGGESTIONS
posting a clear design goal is useful as a reference.
Develop a more clear set of themes mechanically. What makes this set play differently- including thematic feel? Reference the general idea here in your design goal as well as any broad world ideas that are important (which you seem to have).
As I see it right this moment, I can redo a few of the mechanics and cards more or less. Mystify, I'm keeping as is and you'll see why with the next card reveal. Other than that, I can redo the mechanics and maybe redo some of the cards as well. Thanks for the insight.
@Raziel_X007223
Mystify is workable, so it's fine to keep it. It's just that for most mechanics, there are specific, major areas of weakness that need to be avoided. Commonly, this is things like being overly parasitic, as is true for mystify. Other concerns are often related to development (i.e. balancing).
Scorch is also workable, it's just that I don't see why to have it in this set, it seems more like a faction mechanic.
@Raziel_X007223
Mystify is workable, so it's fine to keep it. It's just that for most mechanics, there are specific, major areas of weakness that need to be avoided. Commonly, this is things like being overly parasitic, as is true for mystify. Other concerns are often related to development (i.e. balancing).
Scorch is also workable, it's just that I don't see why to have it in this set, it seems more like a faction mechanic.
Ok, seeing the mechanics again, I'm going to rework "Wander" as I like the premise of it, but it is a bit clumsy in the end. "Lotus" will be worked on solely because to get a piece of paradise, you'll need to taste hell. Scorch is actually going to be outright removed because I don't see a huge need at this time. BUT, I plan on creating another keyword in time... This week, I'll be working the drawing board there.
I like the flavor of the Wander mechanic, but counting on your opponent to play a certain land type is just too random. Here are my thoughts:
First, have it look at your lands. This is something you can control and will influence not only play, but also deckbuilding.
Second, this mechanic is all about exploration, right? Sharing the spirit of adventure, leaving your home and seeking new lands! So have it look at your lands, but for lands of types other than its "home" land.
After all, it's pretty boring if your white creature has Plains Wander (Plainswander?), since it will be active 95% of the time. So how about:
Blanc Mastiff - W
Creature- Hound (C)
Mountain Wander (This creature gets +1/+1 as longs as you control a Mountain.)
“The hounds of Kunari are loyal, but underwhelming to say the least.” Jafar, Sands Explorer
1/1
This is not a high draft pick, but it becomes more interesting if you are already in RW. You may even move into that archetype if you see several of this type of card.
However, there isn't really a choice to be made with this card. If I have it turn 1, I play it. If at any point I draw a Mountain, I'm good to go. If we template it like this, it presents a choice to the player:
Blanc Mastiff - W
Creature- Hound (C)
Mountain Wander (This creature enters the battlefield with a +1/+1 counter if you control a Mountain.)
“You may underestimate the hounds of Kunar, friend, but I would rather have them at my side than at my throat.” Jafar, Sands Explorer
1/1
Now the player has to decide: Do I get a 1/1 on turn 1, or play my Mountain first and get a 1 mana 2/2 on turn 2?
One more option. By switching to an ability word, you can add more versatility to the ability:
Mournful Sea-Singer - 1U
Creature - Mermaid (U) Plains Wander - When Mournful Sea-Singer enters the battlefield, if you control a Plains, you may draw a card. If you do, discard a card. For her, the path to dry land is so close, yet forever denied.
2/1
Just a few options. Look forward to seeing what else you come up with!
Sorry for the delay, real life happened and MSE was being a problem. More cards to come this upcoming week as I finally got it back up and running and continued the work!
(Land) Wander- When this creature enters the battlefield, it gets +1/+1 until the end of turn. As long as any player controls a (Land), put a +1/+1 counter or a mystic counter on this creature at the beginning of your upkeep.
So... uh... (1) why does it get +1/+1 when it enters the battlefield? and (2) why two different kinds of counters? Why not just let your "mystic" guys remove +1/+1 (or any) counters? Also, (3) so if I have the right land the guy gets a +1/+1 counter each turn? That seems kind of broken - as either it's in a 2 color deck with the right land or it's worthless. ALSO, why are multiple uses worthless?
Mystify: Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, put a mystic counter on that player or any creature that player controls.
So my creature needs to get in and deal combat damage to a player, then I can mystify ANY creature they have? And mystic counters do nothing? Come on man... give me SOMETHING here.
Cloak: This creature is unblockable.
So you've keyworded unblockable as something other than "Unblockable". Just how many unblockable creatures do you want in your format? Apparently a dozen, since you keyworded it.
Plague (Cost): At the beginning of target player’s upkeep, you may pay (Cost) instead of it’s mana cost. If you do, put a mystic counter on you and you lose two life.
- Wait... why 1 mystic counter and 2 life? And why is this an upkeep only effect? This makes no sense, is needlessly complicated, and has THREE numbers associated with it - the alternate mana cost, 2 life for no apparent reason, and a mystic counter because... uh... reasons?
Lotus (Mana): When this creature enters the battlefield, you may add (Mana) to your mana pool. If you do, end the turn after this phase.
First, I don't think you know what "multiple instances of X is redundant" means because Lotus isn't redundant. Lotus RR and Lotus GG and Lotus Draw a Card and Lotus Gain 5 life all trigger if the card has them all.
Second, this is a mana ability that... ends the turn after your 2nd main phase? On no!
Third - it's a keyword for free mana. There's a history in magic about this, and it's full of broken cards. Are you prepared to play that game on a dozen cards in your core set? No? Okay then.
Murder Whenever this creature deals damage to a creature, exile that creature and this creature becomes a copy of that creature. Exile this creature at the end of your next turn.
1) You keyworded "murder"
2) That's not actually murdering, it's murder+identity theft.
3) Why does your guy become an exact copy of it, and why does it kill himself at the end of the next turn?
4) you want this ability on a dozen cards? I don't believe you.
Cards:
Blanc Mastiff - Turn 1, Plains, turn 2 mountain. Oh, what, my 1 drop gets a +1/+1 counter each turn? I sure hope this doesn't break limited... oh, wait, it will.
Blinding Mirage - insects, not hornets. Also, this is not white. Also, this is not simple or fun. Also, I have no idea whether having a mystic counter is good or bad, since my wanderers can give me them. Also, what about white screams "Plague" to you?
Jazmine, Diligent Leader - Oh, fun, detain on a creature that will never not be killed by removal on the first turn because it costs an obscene amount and flips into an even more arbitrary set of characteristics. Also, the text is probably too much for a card.
Ember Igniters - You don't know how creatures work.
Alpha Wolf Gang - Unplayable.
Quick Demise - Accidentally printed the best kill spell in all of magic's history have we?
Blindeye Stalker - If it's a 4/1, when it deals damage to a creature it dies right? So Facelift (which should be your new keyword name, and should trigger on the creature dying normally meaning your P/T matter) would never trigger as you have it?
Update 2-13-16: Ok, new card is going up and a new mechanic is revealed after some, setbacks in design. Sorry for the wait as I got about 1/3 of the set complete now!
Raziel X
WELCOME TO THE REALM OF GRIMWORKS.
Backstory on creating Grimworks: I was looking through some of my books and I found the Brother's Grimm. After reading through several pages, I figured "If the characters all coexisted in the Multiverse in the corners of oblivion, then maybe I can rewrite history." Thus Grimworks was born.
The Story of Grimworks:
The Realm of Grimworks is without shapers and walkers with sparks in the beginning. But where a spark wasn't kindling, ideas shaped the land, evil fought good and history began anew with five territories that would be changed, forever...
///
The Desert Kingdom of Kunari (W): The Kunari Desert (also referred to as "The Ivory Sands") was the home of the great Sultana, Jazmine and her loyal and trusted royal vizier, Jorda. Jorda was a humble man with little ambition of displeasing Jazmine or causing trouble for her. He did everything he could to make her happy and in time, become one of the most trusted men she ever knew. She even considered him a suitable marriage partner. But that was before he ventured into the sands to investigate a group of nomadic bandits known only to the locals as "The Ebony Runners".
As he chased them all over the Kunari Desert, he was led into a trap and was engulfed into the lower bowels of the desert via sandworm. As he discovered an underworld of mystery and allure, he wandered and wandered until he found a tome with the number "I" on it. As he read the tome, Jazmine began to make moves herself to keep the peace and keep the "Ebony Runners" as bay. With some steady decisions and following the guidance of Jorda before he left for hunt them down, she became stronger, wiser, stoic and unrelenting in her efforts of order.
///
The Seas of Goldine (U): Goldine is a troubled land (or seas, your choice) that is filled with mystcal and ancient magic that is rewarded to the foolhardy and the bold. Nepta, the youngest daughter and one of two remaining survivors of the throne took the reigns of her fathers kingdom after Neptune himself was killed by Ursula in a freak accident and Ariel abandoned her position to live a foreign life above the Seas of Goldine. Ursula, who was supposedly left for dead by Ariel's hands lurked the dark depths of Goldine, allowing herself to regain what little strength remained and began to orchestrate a series of events that would put Goldine in a state of civil unrest.
But to do that, she would need to regain a forgotten magic art that would allow her to enslave and corrupt the feeble minds of the mermaids and merfolk of the deep. She knew where it was at and she didn't need assistance from anyone to get there. All that was left was to make the pilgrimage to what the mermaids call "Blacksea Depths". Wind of Ursula's possible escape from death put Nepta on edge and she began researching her father's life work to keep Ursula and any other bane away from Goldine.
///
Blightmarsh (B): A devilsh land that was once the envy of all of Grimworks. It was a beautiful and peaceful land, until Wendella entered the land. Within a span of two short years, she transformed Terra's Point into the hellish abomination that is, Blightmarsh. The fae were enslaved; the hag, hagravens, and witches took control of the lands they can grab under the guidance and blessing of Wendella herself. Within the few places uncorrupted by Wendella, a small resistance led by her stepdaughter, Freya, would plan, execute, and reclaim some of the lands and ultimately attempt to resurrect Terra's Point.
That was until Wendella got tipped off from a traitor among the resistance that Freya was going to take her life with the use of a spell she recently learned. With time running out, Freya must take full advantage of the spell, lest she becomes Wendella's latest victim of malice.
///
Iceju Peak (R): Not much is known of Iceju Peak before the dwarves inhabited the mountainside. They expanded the knowledge they brought from wherever they started from and built the city fortress, Heidiyard. The peaks continued to be explored and expanded with little in the way of opposition. That as until Doc Steamwater, pioneer of the dwarven expansion discovered them, the Giants of Iceju Peak, led by the elder, Siege.
Without so much as greetings or warning, the two races were engaged in combat with neither side conceding or relenting. After years of fighting and conflict, Doc Steamwater developed new weaponry to put an end to the war. But that isn't to say that Siege wasn't prepared....
///
Jerekwood, the Forest of Dawn and Dusk (G): Jerekwood is understandable mysterious. One minute the dawn and sun give way to safe passage and the next, dusk consumes the trees and moon reveals dangers around every corner. The hamlet of Greenhelm knew the dangers that Jerekwood presented and throughout time, steady themselves to protect their own. But that changed when the "Five Fangs" appeared: The Alpha, Beta, Delta, Gamma, and Psi pack of wolves. Each one of the packs were dangerous, but it was the Alpha pack that everyone feared. The reason: Wesley, leader of the all the packs. By his hands alone, he unified all the packs under his control, murdered Marietta R. Hood and disabled Robin Hood for good.
Seeing that enough was enough, Redda R. Hood (late mother of Marietta R. Hood, wife of Robin Hood) took arms and learned to hunt to predators from the hunters of old and the poachers of yore. She knew enough to not only seek vengeance for her family, but to take a bigger role, protect not only Greenhelm, but all of Jerekwood.
Characters
WU: Jazmine, Sultana of Kunari
Jazmine's beginnings were of a simple and peaceful origin. She was the only daughter of the Sultan at the time, Sultan Amhad Juit. Not knowing her mother for her life, Amhad raised her to become one day, the Sulatana of Kunari. Her lessons varied from simple language to advanced tactics of war and even courtesies of foreign policies. She was put to a much higher standard than the rest of the kingdom.
That peaceful standard was ruined on her 19th birthday. Amhad held a banquet and the most powerful rulers came to partake in the festivities. He went away to talk to Wendella (At this time, the adviser to Queen Julie of Terra's Point) about future meetings and a possible alliance. The night continued and Jazmine met up with a stunning young man by the name of Jorga. Jorga was well versed with Kunari and studied hard to be invited to the banquet. They danced, laughed and in all fair game, enjoyed the night.
But, just as Jazmine found some happiness, the guards stormed the main lobby and ordered everyone visiting Kunari to leave. Much to her dismay, Jazmine asked Jorga to follow her and they were on their way to see what would be, her father's corpse. She was overwhelmed with sadness and grief as she just cried into Jorga's chest. A week later, she would assume the position of Sultana by a final decree left by Amhad just in case the worst happened. After what happened, she also decided to reintroduce an old law that was abolished by Amhad himself: the service of a royal vizier. She appointed Jorga to become not only her mentor, but the royal vizier as well as he wasn't a stranger to combat and danger.
Weeks of training ensued until on that fateful day, Jorga got wind of a band of nomads calling themselves "The Ebony Runners" causing mayhem in the outskirts of Kunari. He quickly left to pursue the troublemakers while Jazmine attended to her work and office. But, that was weeks ago and still no sign of Jorga. She took matters into her own hands and took absolute control and locked down Kunari until Jorga returned.
Mechanics
(Land) Wander- When this creature enters the battlefield, it gets +1/+1 until the end of turn. As long as any player controls a (Land), put a +1/+1 counter or a mystic counter on this creature at the beginning of your upkeep.
(Land) Wander is a compound static ability.
The creature with this ability gets the bonus as long as one player has said [land].
Multiple instances of [Land] Wander is redundant.
Mystify: Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, put a mystic counter on that player or any creature that player controls.
Mystify is a triggered ability.
Whenever a creature with this ability deals combat damage to a player, this ability activates. It can target that player or any creature that it can target (Abilities such as Hexproof and Shroud may apply).
Any player can have multiple mystic counters on them. The same can be said for any creature with mystic counters.
Unless stated, mystic counters are there as a "mystified" state. They don't achieve anything alone and will only be relevant once a card that interacts with them is present.
Multiple instances of Mystify are redundant.
Cloak: This creature is unblockable.
Cloak is a static ability.
Creatures with this ability can't be blocked at all.
If an ability or card would remove this ability, the creature is no longer "Cloaked" and can be blocked as normal.
Multiple instances of Cloak is redundant.
Plague (Cost): At the beginning of target player’s upkeep, you may pay (Cost) instead of it’s mana cost. If you do, put a mystic counter on you and you lose two life.
Plague is a replacement ability.
During any player's upkeep, you can play this spell as if it were an instant.
At any other phase of the turn, you can't play it for it's Plague cost the turn.
If the upkeep phase is skipped or bypassed, you can't cast the spell for the plague cost.
If the card has Flashback and Plague on it, you can play it for the Plague cost during the upkeep phase. Also, it is has Flashback, it gets exiled as per the ruling on Flashback.
Multiple instances of Plague is redundant.
Lotus (Mana): When this creature enters the battlefield, you may add (Mana) to your mana pool. If you do, end the turn after this phase.
Lotus is a ETB ability.
You have the option to add the mana to your mana pool or not. If you do, the turn will end upon the end of the phase. If you don't elect to take the mana, the turn will continue as normal.
Multiple instances of Lotus is redundant.
Murder Whenever this creature deals damage to a creature, exile that creature and this creature becomes a copy of that creature. Exile this creature at the end of your next turn.
Murder is a triggered ability.
As long as the creature was dealt damage, the effect of murder takes place.
If Murder's end of turn ability is countered at the end of your next turn, the creature remains on the battlefield and no further ability checks is required.
Multiple instances of Murder is redundant.
Cards: 7/275 (Color breakdown is to be determined at a later date)
White: 3/??
Blanc Mastiff- W
Creature- Hound (C)
Mountain Wander- ( (When this creature enters the battlefield, it gets +1/+1 until the end of turn. As long as any player controls a Mountain, put a +1/+1 counter or a mystic counter on this creature at the beginning of your upkeep.))
“The hounds of Kunari are loyal, but underwhelming to say the least.” Jafar, Sands Explorer
0/2
Blinding Mirage- 8W
Sorcery- Plague (R)
Exile all creatures and put X 1/1 white hornets with flying and lifelink onto the battlefield where X is half the total number of creatures exiled this way rounded down.
Plague 3WW (At the beginning of target player’s upkeep, you may pay 3WW instead of it’s mana cost. If you do, put a mystic counter on you and you lose two life.))
Jazmine, Diligent Leader- 4WW
Legendary Creature- Human Adviser (MR)
Whenever you detain more than four creatures during the combat phase, transform Jazmine, Diligent Leader.
WW: Detain target attacking creature.
2/6
////
W/Jazmine, Sultana Absolute
Legendary Creature- Human Adviser (MR)
Flying, Vigilance
Creatures with mystic counters can’t attack or block unless that creature’s control pays 2 for each mystic counter on that creature.
5/9
Red: 1/??
Ember Igniters- RR
Creature- Dwarf Soldier (C)
Choose one:
- Creatures with mystic counters get +2/-1
- Creatures without mystic counters gain first strike.
“Fan the flames! We’re building for the fight!” Doc Steamwater, Hybrid Master
Green: 1/??
Alpha Wolf Gang- 2G
Creature- Werewolf Warrior (C)
Trample
6G: Target creature with a mystic counter fights another target creature.
“INSTIGATE THE FIGHT! I want to see BLOOD before dusk!” Wesley, Jerekwood Hoodlum
2/1
Black: 2/??
Quick Demise- B
Instant (R)
Destroy target creature and lose two life. If the creature was legendary, lose six life instead.
“Vengeance will be mine. Marietta will not go unavenged, Wesley!” Redda Hood, Protector of the Forest
Blindeye Stalker- 3B
Creature- Octopus Witch (C)
Deathtouch
Whenever this creature gets a mystic counter on it, transform Blindeye Stalker.
B,T: Put a mystic counter on Blindeye Stalker. You may activate this ability only if this creature killed another creature this turn.
3/2
//////
Mystic Covenant- (U/B)
Creature- Octopus Witch
Murder (Whenever this creature deals damage to a creature, exile that creature and this creature becomes a copy of that creature. Exile this creature at the end of your next turn.)
U,T: Counter target activated or triggered ability. You may activate this ability if this creature killed another creature this turn. Remove a mystic counter from Mystic Covenant and transform it.
4/1
Blue: 1/??
Ursula's Branding- 2U
Enchantment- Aura (U)
Enchant Creature
Enchanted creature gains Island Wander
( (When this creature enters the battlefield, it gets +1/+1 until the end of turn. As long as any player controls a Island, put a +1/+1 counter or a mystic counter on this creature at the beginning of your upkeep.))
“My gifts always come at a price, you poor unfortunate soul.” Ursula to Nepta
Multicolored: 0/??
Artifact: 0/??
Lands: 0/?? (Basics to be added)
Renders
12-2-15
2-13-16
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Thanks. Any feedback on cards would be greatly appreciated.
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(EDIT: not mecganics :))
Wander is essentially remaking the mistake that was Landwalk. Nothing really to say other than immediately bin it- it won't play well. The problem with this sort of mechanic is that it is an opponent matters mechanic- it's better or worse depending on what the opponent is doing and rarely what you are doing. Mechanics need to be controllable- it's a major part of the strategy in each- to figure out how to make the best use of the set's mechanics.
Mystify: I can see several concerns but none of them are fatal for this mechanic, so this may well be doable. However, these concerns- the use of a unique counter type on crestures precenting the use of +1/+1 counters, it being perhaps too open ended, and it being parasitic- need to be taken into account.
Plague: what's the point? What role does this mechanic serve. It does something, but why? The previous two have obvious themes that can explored using them, but the only example here would be in Hellbent territory, which has proven to be an area that isn't very fun.
Lotus: the 'end the turn' part is clearly too complex for common, given that such an effect is not clear in how it works. This also doesn't seem to fill a concrete role.
Scorch: I would definitely rename to work in
GENERAL SUGGESTIONS
posting a clear design goal is useful as a reference.
Develop a more clear set of themes mechanically. What makes this set play differently- including thematic feel? Reference the general idea here in your design goal as well as any broad world ideas that are important (which you seem to have).
RUNIN: Norse mythology set (awaiting further playtesting)
FATE of ALARA: Multicolour factions (currently on hiatus)
Contibutor to the Pyrulea community set
I'm here to tell you that all your set mechanics are bad
#Defundthepolice
As I see it right this moment, I can redo a few of the mechanics and cards more or less. Mystify, I'm keeping as is and you'll see why with the next card reveal. Other than that, I can redo the mechanics and maybe redo some of the cards as well. Thanks for the insight.
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Mystify is workable, so it's fine to keep it. It's just that for most mechanics, there are specific, major areas of weakness that need to be avoided. Commonly, this is things like being overly parasitic, as is true for mystify. Other concerns are often related to development (i.e. balancing).
Scorch is also workable, it's just that I don't see why to have it in this set, it seems more like a faction mechanic.
RUNIN: Norse mythology set (awaiting further playtesting)
FATE of ALARA: Multicolour factions (currently on hiatus)
Contibutor to the Pyrulea community set
I'm here to tell you that all your set mechanics are bad
#Defundthepolice
Ok, seeing the mechanics again, I'm going to rework "Wander" as I like the premise of it, but it is a bit clumsy in the end. "Lotus" will be worked on solely because to get a piece of paradise, you'll need to taste hell. Scorch is actually going to be outright removed because I don't see a huge need at this time. BUT, I plan on creating another keyword in time... This week, I'll be working the drawing board there.
Again, thanks for the insight.
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First, have it look at your lands. This is something you can control and will influence not only play, but also deckbuilding.
Second, this mechanic is all about exploration, right? Sharing the spirit of adventure, leaving your home and seeking new lands! So have it look at your lands, but for lands of types other than its "home" land.
After all, it's pretty boring if your white creature has Plains Wander (Plainswander?), since it will be active 95% of the time. So how about:
This is not a high draft pick, but it becomes more interesting if you are already in RW. You may even move into that archetype if you see several of this type of card.
However, there isn't really a choice to be made with this card. If I have it turn 1, I play it. If at any point I draw a Mountain, I'm good to go. If we template it like this, it presents a choice to the player:
Now the player has to decide: Do I get a 1/1 on turn 1, or play my Mountain first and get a 1 mana 2/2 on turn 2?
One more option. By switching to an ability word, you can add more versatility to the ability:
Just a few options. Look forward to seeing what else you come up with!
RUNIN: Norse mythology set (awaiting further playtesting)
FATE of ALARA: Multicolour factions (currently on hiatus)
Contibutor to the Pyrulea community set
I'm here to tell you that all your set mechanics are bad
#Defundthepolice
Sorry for the delay, real life happened and MSE was being a problem. More cards to come this upcoming week as I finally got it back up and running and continued the work!
Die Fools!!!
Looking for a Pokemon RP:
http://pokemonhaven223.proboards.com
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So... uh... (1) why does it get +1/+1 when it enters the battlefield? and (2) why two different kinds of counters? Why not just let your "mystic" guys remove +1/+1 (or any) counters? Also, (3) so if I have the right land the guy gets a +1/+1 counter each turn? That seems kind of broken - as either it's in a 2 color deck with the right land or it's worthless. ALSO, why are multiple uses worthless?
Mystify: Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, put a mystic counter on that player or any creature that player controls.
So my creature needs to get in and deal combat damage to a player, then I can mystify ANY creature they have? And mystic counters do nothing? Come on man... give me SOMETHING here.
Cloak: This creature is unblockable.
So you've keyworded unblockable as something other than "Unblockable". Just how many unblockable creatures do you want in your format? Apparently a dozen, since you keyworded it.
Plague (Cost): At the beginning of target player’s upkeep, you may pay (Cost) instead of it’s mana cost. If you do, put a mystic counter on you and you lose two life.
- Wait... why 1 mystic counter and 2 life? And why is this an upkeep only effect? This makes no sense, is needlessly complicated, and has THREE numbers associated with it - the alternate mana cost, 2 life for no apparent reason, and a mystic counter because... uh... reasons?
Lotus (Mana): When this creature enters the battlefield, you may add (Mana) to your mana pool. If you do, end the turn after this phase.
First, I don't think you know what "multiple instances of X is redundant" means because Lotus isn't redundant. Lotus RR and Lotus GG and Lotus Draw a Card and Lotus Gain 5 life all trigger if the card has them all.
Second, this is a mana ability that... ends the turn after your 2nd main phase? On no!
Third - it's a keyword for free mana. There's a history in magic about this, and it's full of broken cards. Are you prepared to play that game on a dozen cards in your core set? No? Okay then.
Murder Whenever this creature deals damage to a creature, exile that creature and this creature becomes a copy of that creature. Exile this creature at the end of your next turn.
1) You keyworded "murder"
2) That's not actually murdering, it's murder+identity theft.
3) Why does your guy become an exact copy of it, and why does it kill himself at the end of the next turn?
4) you want this ability on a dozen cards? I don't believe you.
Cards:
Blanc Mastiff - Turn 1, Plains, turn 2 mountain. Oh, what, my 1 drop gets a +1/+1 counter each turn? I sure hope this doesn't break limited... oh, wait, it will.
Blinding Mirage - insects, not hornets. Also, this is not white. Also, this is not simple or fun. Also, I have no idea whether having a mystic counter is good or bad, since my wanderers can give me them. Also, what about white screams "Plague" to you?
Jazmine, Diligent Leader - Oh, fun, detain on a creature that will never not be killed by removal on the first turn because it costs an obscene amount and flips into an even more arbitrary set of characteristics. Also, the text is probably too much for a card.
Ember Igniters - You don't know how creatures work.
Alpha Wolf Gang - Unplayable.
Quick Demise - Accidentally printed the best kill spell in all of magic's history have we?
Blindeye Stalker - If it's a 4/1, when it deals damage to a creature it dies right? So Facelift (which should be your new keyword name, and should trigger on the creature dying normally meaning your P/T matter) would never trigger as you have it?
Ursula's Branding - This is not a blue effect.