I think the set is really cool and brings some cool ideas to the table but I think entrench would be better if it had a way to make your guy attack again. Also the Jace you designed is really cool but the second ability feels a little well too powerful for blue. i hope that wizards sees this and takes some of your ideas into consideration or asks you to help them in the future because this set is really cool.
I think the set is really cool and brings some cool ideas to the table but I think entrench would be better if it had a way to make your guy attack again. Also the Jace you designed is really cool but the second ability feels a little well too powerful for blue. i hope that wizards sees this and takes some of your ideas into consideration or asks you to help them in the future because this set is really cool.
R&D employees normally cannot view unsolicited designs. Very, very occasionally they can get the head-up from the brand/legal team to do so but usually this is not an option. It is extremely unlikely they will ever see the set, as is true with every set on these forums unfortunately.
I think the set is really cool and brings some cool ideas to the table but I think entrench would be better if it had a way to make your guy attack again. Also the Jace you designed is really cool but the second ability feels a little well too powerful for blue. i hope that wizards sees this and takes some of your ideas into consideration or asks you to help them in the future because this set is really cool.
Thanks a lot!
I thought about what you brought up about Entrench as well. I thought the best way to go about it is not to change the mechanic, but implement some cards that remove +1/+1 counters, for example the dude that moves +1/+1 counters to himself. I want to fit in a few more of these cards.
Regarding Jace, I consider making his minus ability a -3 (and increasing his starting loyalty to 4), so it can't be used that often. But I'll have to playtest him first. I agree that he could be too good.
Planar Cleansing3WWW
Sorcery (R)
Destroy all nonland permanents. "We've lost the forum of Azor. The guildpact is no more. Work together now, not because a contract binds you, but because of sheer necessity."
-Jace Beleren
Assimilate4R
Sorcery (C)
Gain control of target creature until end of turn. Untap that creature. It gains haste until end of turn. Spawn 1. (Put a 0/1 colorless Eldrazi Spawn creature token onto the battlefield with "Sacrifice this creature: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool.")
Nivix Tinkerer1R
Creature - Human Wizard (C)
Whenever you cast an instant or sorcery spell, you may discard a card. If you do, draw a card. "The Boros are just preventing our defeat, whereas I am engineering our victory."
2/1
Hero's StandG
Sorcery (R)
Choose one or both -
Target creature you control fights target creature you don't control.
Target planeswalker you control deals damage equal to its loyalty to target creature you don't control. That creature deals damage equal to its power to that planeswalker.
Skarrg Oathsworn1G
Creature - Human Warrior (C) Guildpact - 4G: Skarrg Oathsworn gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each color among permanents you control. Ruric-Thar still honored the guildpact after Skarrg had fallen. He sent his best warriors to reclaim the tenth district.
2/2
Outlaw1WUU
Enchantment (R)
Flash
As Outlaw enters the battlefield, name a nonland card.
The named card can't be cast.
When Outlaw enters the battlefield, counter target spell with the chosen name.
Pilfered Plans1UB
Sorcery (C)
Target player puts the top two cards of his or her library into his or her graveyard. Draw two cards. "So, still drinking minds, I see?"
-Lavinia, to Mirko Vosk
Gory CrescendoBR
Instant (C)
As an additional cost to cast Gory Crescendo, sacrifice a creature.
Destroy target creature. The performers quickly integrated the arrival of Ulamog into their show.
Harmonic Gathering3GW
Sorcery (C)
Put a 1/1 white Bird creature token with flying, and a 3/3 green Centaur creature token onto the battlefield. "While the other guilds face extinction, our commune grows every day."
-Trostani
Ultimate Verdict1WUB
Instant (R)
Exile target spell or permanent. Ithar didn't travel all the way to Ravnica just to take half-measures.
Preacher of Orthodoxy2GWB
Creature - Human Cleric (R)
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a token onto the battlefield that's a copy of target creature token you control.
Whenever another creature enters the battlefield under your control, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.
2/4
LawplasmWUR
Creature - Weird Knight (R)
Lifelink
Whenever Lawplasm attacks, switch its power and toughness until end of turn.
Whenever Lawplasm blocks, tap target creature attacking player controls.
Whenever you cast an instant or sorcery spell, untap Lawplasm.
1/5
Concordia CharmWUBRG
Instant (R)
Choose one -
Exile target creature.
Draw three cards.
All creatures get -2/-2 until end of turn.
Concordia Charm deals 5 damage to target player.
You gain 10 life.
Opal Lake Gargoyle6
Artifact Creature - Gargoyle (C)
Flying
Entrench (You may have this creature enter the battlefield with a +1/+1 counter on it. It has defender as long as it has a +1/+1 counter on it.) "The unstoppable Eldrazi will soon hit the immovable object."
3/4
If this forum situation doesn't get any better soon, I won't bother posting text versions at all anymore. This is just unbearable.
What do you mean "If this forum situation doesn't get better"? What, because not many people are commenting? That hardly seems fair to criticize people for that.
Card Comments (of those just posted)
1) A fine reprint
2) A bit weak, but maybe that's for the best
3) Not a common
4) Strictly better Prey Upon, not sure that's okay.
5) Fine based on Atarka Beastbreaker
6) Seems overly clunky
7) Fine Reprint
8) Instant speed Bone Splinters, probably good
9) Nice design
10) Should be 'nonland' based on Utter End, it's safer meta-wise as well to avoid efficient LD
11) Fine
12) Might be overly clunky
13) the 'white' mode isn't white, it has no conditions white uses. Also, the green mode is pretty white, maybe change that as well?
14) Seems fine
What do you mean "If this forum situation doesn't get better"? What, because not many people are commenting? That hardly seems fair to criticize people for that.
Card Comments (of those just posted)
1) A fine reprint
2) A bit weak, but maybe that's for the best
3) Not a common
4) Strictly better Prey Upon, not sure that's okay.
5) Seems overly clunky
6) Fine Reprint
7) Instant speed Bone Splinters, probably good
8) Nice design
9) Should be 'nonland' based on Utter End, it's safer meta-wise as well to avoid efficient LD
10) Fine
11) Might be overly clunky
12) the 'white' mode isn't white, it has no conditions white uses. Also, the green mode is pretty white, maybe change that as well?
13) Seems fine
3) Looks like a fine basis for a common to me, but it's one I would certainly keep my eye on. Personally as a common I'd put a cost from the start.
4) Obsoleting a common with a rare is not exactly a problem, and the addition is not exactly that worrying IMO.
5) Doesn't seem clunky to me, but a common should almost certainly have the usual "once a turn" limitation on the rootwalla ability.
11) Personally I highly frown on recreating existing named mechanics (i.e. Populate) via rules text.
@Circeus.
Missed #5 (Skarrg Oathsworn), fixed the numbering
-Repeatable card filtering is pretty powerful, especially when it can 'go off' like this can. It's not obviously broken at common, but it's concerning.
-Obsoleting weak commons with Rares is fine, but common and rare have the same maximum power ceiling, just in different ways. Prey Upon is a very playable card and making a more powerful version should not be done lightly. It's likely fine here considering it's not that much more powerful, but it's something that could easily prove too good for some environments.
-Was actually referring to Outlaw (#6)
-What do you find objectionable about it? Not that I can't think of any reasons, but I'd like to know.
-What do you find objectionable about it? Not that I can't think of any reasons, but I'd like to know.
For starter it feels like cheating. If you want to use a non-evergreen mechanic, you either figure out a new take in a similar design space, or you reuse the mechanic. Using the mechanic while pretending you don't is just intellectually dishonest (and if R&D did that, players would be all over asking "why does this card have mechanic X without calling it mechanic X?"). At least when R&D does it, they do it only with evergreen mechanic (the only example I can think of is stuff like fake flying in green with Spire Tracer or Orchard Spirit).
Second, I'm pretty sure we have Maro on record saying they wouldn't do that (The reverse is fine: Mistform Ultimus is not becoming a Changeling anytime soon.)
What do you mean "If this forum situation doesn't get better"? What, because not many people are commenting? That hardly seems fair to criticize people for that.
What?? No, I meant the forum itself. It takes me like 30 minutes everytime before the cards are formatted correctly, due to various bugs or character restrictions.
For starter it feels like cheating. If you want to use a non-evergreen mechanic, you either figure out a new take in a similar design space, or you reuse the mechanic. Using the mechanic while pretending you don't is just intellectually dishonest (and if RD did that, players would be all over asking "why does this card have mechanic X without calling it mechanic X?"). At least when RD does it, they do it only with evergreen mechanic (the only example I can think of is stuff like fake flying in green with Spire Tracer or Orchard Spirit).
But it's not exactly populate. The triggered ability targets, which Populate doesn't. It's very close to it, but so are some of the cards from Dragons of Tarkir to Prowess without using Prowess. And it's not completely accurate that they never reused a mechanic before without using that mechanic. For example, Sporemound doesn't use landfall.
-Obsoleting weak commons with Rares is fine, but common and rare have the same maximum power ceiling, just in different ways. Prey Upon is a very playable card and making a more powerful version should not be done lightly. It's likely fine here considering it's not that much more powerful, but it's something that could easily prove too good for some environments.
I feel like they've pushed fight cards for Constructed far beyond Prey Upon at this point.
3) Looks like a fine basis for a common to me, but it's one I would certainly keep my eye on. Personally as a common I'd put a cost from the start.
Putting a cost on it would make it feel even less a common for me, so maybe this creature should rather do something entirely different (or have different stats).
For starter it feels like cheating. If you want to use a non-evergreen mechanic, you either figure out a new take in a similar design space, or you reuse the mechanic. Using the mechanic while pretending you don't is just intellectually dishonest (and if RD did that, players would be all over asking "why does this card have mechanic X without calling it mechanic X?"). At least when RD does it, they do it only with evergreen mechanic (the only example I can think of is stuff like fake flying in green with Spire Tracer or Orchard Spirit).
But it's not exactly populate. The triggered ability targets, which Populate doesn't. It's very close to it, but so are some of the cards from Dragons of Tarkir to Prowess without using Prowess. And it's not completely accurate that they never reused a mechanic before without using that mechanic. For example, Sporemound doesn't use landfall.
There's a world of difference between an ability word (which by R&D's own characterization is little more than flavor text) and a keyword action or a named mechanic.
That's true, but it still holds that it's not exactly Populate and therefore I think it's alright. Of course, you could move it farther away from Populate just for the sake of it, but I don't see the point in that. And using Populate isn't an option either.
What do you mean "If this forum situation doesn't get better"? What, because not many people are commenting? That hardly seems fair to criticize people for that.
What?? No, I meant the forum itself. It takes me like 30 minutes everytime before the cards are formatted correctly, due to various bugs or character restrictions.
Alright, I simply put a cost on Nivix Tinkerer. Not 100% happy with the card yet, but it'll do for now.
Nivix Tinkerer1R
Creature - Human Wizard (C)
Whenever you cast an instant or sorcery spell, you may pay and discard a card. If you do, draw a card. "The Boros are just preventing our defeat, whereas I am engineering our victory."
2/1
--------------------
While I'm designing a set, I'm always imagining the next project already. Siege of Ravnica will have a follow-up set, a small set with only 120 cards. That's how I found it to work best for me: Design a large set, and a small follow-up set, where all the ideas that couldn't make it into the first set go into, then move on to something else. The idea of the set was explored by other designers before. The Ravnicans can't win against the Eldrazi, so the plane has to be evacuated. The story could end with the Ravnicans winning, but I don't see that as convincing without introducing some weird deus ex machina. Name of the set? Probably Exodus, that's the most obvious.
This leads to the first mechanic, which represents the effort to bring the people of Ravnica to safety: Escort. It's a mechanic I'm quite happy with and I'm certain I want to have in the set.
Escort(An escort may protect another creature as both attack unpaired. The pair is blocked as a group and the protector is assigned combat damage first.)
Escort is a very, very simplified version of Banding. You attack with an escort, and you can protect one other creature behind it. The pair is blocked as a group and the escort must be put first in the damage assignment order. The outcome of combat is very predictable, which can't be said about Banding.
Concordia Cleric1W
Creature - Human Cleric (C)
Escort (An escort may protect another creature as both attack unpaired. The pair is blocked as a group and the protector is assigned combat damage first.) She had already abandoned all hope, but had to conceal her despair. Her guild master commanded it.
2/2
Vedalken Dispeller1U
Creature - Vedalken Wizard (C)
Escort (An escort may protect another creature as both attack unpaired. The pair is blocked as a group and the protector is assigned combat damage first.)
When Vedalken Dispeller dies, draw a card. "The path is clear. Go without me!"
1/1
Undercity Wayfinder2BB
Creature - Gorgon (R)
First strike, deathtouch
Escort (An escort may protect another creature as both attack unpaired. The pair is blocked as a group and the protector is assigned combat damage first.) "Always keep your eyes front! For more than one reason . . ."
2/2
Rix Maadi Lapdog4R
Creature - Demon Hound (C)
Haste
Escort (An escort may protect another creature as both attack unpaired. The pair is blocked as a group and the protector is assigned combat damage first.) "I hope he won't see it as an insult if I decline his protection."
3/4
Shield of LawWU
Creature - Spirit (U)
Vigilance
Escort (An escort may protect another creature as both attack unpaired. The pair is blocked as a group and the protector is assigned combat damage first.) "In times of chaos, upholding the law is of uttermost importance."
0/4
Vitu-Ghazi Colossus4GW
Creature - Elemental (C)
Escort (An escort may protect another creature as both attack unpaired. The pair is blocked as a group and the protector is assigned combat damage first.) "Who would you rather be guarding you than a hundred tons of thundering rock?"
-Rogad, Selesnya healer
5/7
Firemane Patron2RW
Creature - Angel (R)
Flying, haste
Escort (An escort may protect another creature as both attack unpaired. The pair is blocked as a group and the protector is assigned combat damage first.) No angel's gift is greater than her pledge and her sword.
3/4
The next theme I want to expand on is the "infestation" theme. As shown by cards such as Pawn of Ulamog, and Corpsehatch, the Eldrazi like to use other living organisms to breed and feed their brood. So, in Exodus I want to make Ravnica cards that spawn Eldrazi Spawn tokens. The major difference between the Eldrazi Drones and the Infested Ravnicans is, that the Drones spawn the tokens when they enter the battlefield, while the infested spawn the tokens when they die.
Also, since Siege of Ravnica had the "Guildpact" theme of going as many colors as possible, it may be interesting for this set to shift the focus more to the Eldrazi and include a colorless theme. I don't know how this will look like yet. It's maybe cool if the infested Ravnicans are colorless similar to Ghostfire so they get buffed by the "colorless matters" cards.
But these creatures would be just fine even without the colorless text. If it stays or not will be decided by whether I find a way to make it mechanically relevant. Multicolored creatures won't get the colorless treatment, because they're supposed to enable Guildpact.
Infested Agent2B
Creature - Vampire Rogue (C)
Infested Agent is colorless.
When Infested Agent dies, spawn 1. (Put a 0/1 colorless Eldrazi Spawn creature token onto the battlefield with "Sacrifice this creature: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool.")
2/3
Creeping Infestation1B
Enchantment - Aura (C)
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets -1/-1.
When enchanted creature dies, spawn 1. (Put a 0/1 colorless Eldrazi Spawn creature token onto the battlefield with "Sacrifice this creature: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool.")
Infested Sprout1G
Creature - Plant (C)
Infested Sprout is colorless. T: Add G to your mana pool.
When Infested Sprout dies, spawn 1. (Put a 0/1 colorless Eldrazi Spawn creature token onto the battlefield with "Sacrifice this creature: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool.")
1/1
Lastly, I'm looking for more ways to expand on the planeswalker theme. This is a one-of thing, and you should roll with it while you can. Siege of Ravnica has the "choose one or both" cycle, where one option was always affecting a planeswalker. Exodus will have its own mechanic. My current idea for it is Copay.
Copay(Your planeswalkers can help cast this spell. Each loyalty counter you remove from planeswalkers you control while casting this spell pays for 1.)
I want to evoke the feeling that you are really working together with your planeswalkers. The mechanic encourages you to not completely kill off your planeswalker, but sometimes that may still be the right play. And then it doesn't feel like you're working together, but you're exploiting them. So, I think the best designs are X-spells (there will only be instants and sorceries with copay for flavor reasons), where the spell does what it's supposed to do at a certain threshold and additional mana changes nothing. The other option are situational tricks that you're able to represent by having a planeswalker on the board, but you're always paying as much mana as possible yourself. The Copay on the cards can then be treated basically for free; the ability is of course far less often relevant than say Convoke. Here are some examples:
Shield from Peril2W
Instant (C)
Copay (Your planeswalkers can help cast this spell. Each loyalty counter you remove from planeswalkers you control while casting this spell pays for 1.)
Creatures you control gain indestructible until end of turn.
OutsmartXU
Instant (U)
Copay (Your planeswalkers can help cast this spell. Each loyalty counter you remove from planeswalkers you control while casting this spell pays for 1.)
Counter target spell unless its controller pays X.
Pyromantic BoltXR
Sorcery (C)
Copay (Your planeswalkers can help cast this spell. Each loyalty counter you remove from planeswalkers you control while casting this spell pays for 1.)
Pyromantic Barrage deals X damage to target creature. "I figured it out. We just have to blast them really hard."
And of course, we'll see more planeswalkers at mythic. Now, if I could only find a good Kiora artwork.
Liliana, the Profane4BB
Planeswalker - Liliana (M)
+1: Return up to one target creature card from your graveyard to your hand.
-X: All creatures get -X/-X until end of turn.
-7: You get an emblem with "At the beginning of your end step, search your library for a card, put it into your hand, then shuffle your library."
{4}
Ajani, Revered Traveler1RGW
Planeswalker - Ajani (M)
+2: Until your next turn, whenever a planeswalker you control is dealt damage, Ajani deals that much damage to each opponent.
-X: Search your library for a planeswalker card with converted mana cost X or less, and put it onto the battlefield. Then shuffle your library.
-9: For each other planeswalker you control, you may activate a loyalty ability of that planeswalker without paying its activation cost.
{3}
Just letting you know that we used Emrakul, Devourer of Worlds as a critique a card in the latest episode of Re-Making Magic. Touching on how difficult the eldrazi are to design and what player expectations are for them in future sets.
I just wanted to drop by and say that there are some really cool and interesting designs here. The flavor is also well done. I like the mythic planeswalkers that are done, along with some of the rare designs that are simple but powerful (i.e. Reclamation Wurm)
I think the non mythic planeswalkers are cute, well designed, especially considering how much I don't like the idea and the fact that this would never actually happen in real design makes me like them less. I do like them though, Lowryn Prankster in particular, but design wise this could be an enchantment that costs the same or maybe one more with a choose one option at the beginning of your upkeep.
I do like them though, Lowryn Prankster in particular, but design wise this could be an enchantment that costs the same or maybe one more with a choose one option at the beginning of your upkeep.
That's the problem with planeswalkers that have low absolute values of loyalty costs. Maybe the -1 could be a -2 and the creature slighly stronger (3/1 flying, hexproof for example).
I will pick up Siege of Ravnica again later this year, but I'm currently focused on releasing Overworld. So, if you'd like to give some feedback, follow that link!
Ir Mesmerist 3U
Planeswalker (C)
+1: Target player puts the top three cards of his or her library into his or her graveyard.
0: Ir Mesmerist becomes a 2/1 unblockable creature until end of turn.
-3: Tap up to two target creatures. Those creatures don’t untap during their controller’s next untap step.
{4}
Innistrad Bloodmage 5B
Planeswalker (C)
+1: Target player loses 3 life and you gain 3 life.
0: Innistrad Bloodmage becomes a 3/3 creature with flying and trample until end of turn.
-3: You draw three cards and you lose 3 life.
{4}
If Planewalkers are going to be a common thing in your set you can make them play out like manlands. Maybe make them less powerful?? to keep their rarity. Just an idea.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Currently playing:
Modern: UR Dragonfish
Legacy: Merfolk
Tiny Leaders: Mono Anafenza
I really like the siege spin on this, it's interesting, the whole defenders versus attackers.
Also, just my two cents, but you should cut Aurelia and replace her with Feather, character-wise. You know, a character who isn't a huge dick. Her ability is so neat though, I like it a lot.
I don't think Consume really needs to be keyworded, that's its weakness. I think it works, but it doesn't really feel like it has its own identity. I like the idea that the Eldrazi's very presence doing things, like otherworldly tough, their presence does stuff. Plus a bit or writing critique
The pyromancer stared across the starlit fields of Vryn. A few months ago, she set out to find the Trail of the Mage Rings, a mysterious superstructure that wasif something can be cut from a sentence it's usually a good idea to cut it. built on this plane a long time agothis could be changed to 'centuries ago', or something similar, "a long time ago" is sorta a weak phrase by a group of planeswalkers, so the records said. But she made barely any progress lately and was forced to accept mundane tasks just to make ends meet nice set up so far. This time, she went out to gather lowland cougar femurs for the oracle of a nearby village. A quest not fitting for a shaman of her skills, but she needed the gold to buy new adventuring gear. She sighed and started hurling fireballs at the cougars nearby This reads weird. It's very blunt and clinical and doesn't give the audience any time to figure out the scene..
The hours went by excruciatingly slow, but eventually she had gathered enough femurs for the oracle. The pyromancer started her trip back to the village, when she was ripped out of her lethargy as all off a sudden someone else appeared from the AEther right in front of her A bit of a clunky read. "all of a sudden" is a pretty weak phrase, and 'stepped from the Aether' is just unclear. It reads rushed.. She looked upon a white-fured leonin, robed in tribal clothes, and with a big scar over his left eye. Although she never met him before, she could tell that he is a planeswalker like her How does she know that? This is really unclear..
Caught by surprise, the pyromancer readied her defenses The earlier "she looked upon" makes it seem like she took a leisurely moment to appraise Ajani, which mixes weirdly with her suddenly leaping to action, surprised.. Her hands conjured spheres of fire, ready to hurl it at the other planeswalker. But the leonin signaled that he was not intending to attack This really needs clarification.. Slowly, the pyromancer relaxed her muscles and instead went on to greet her visitor.
"Greetings, fellow traveler," she began. "I'm afraid you caught me a bit off-guard. My name is..." The leonin interrupted her: "There is no time. The Eldrazi have escaped from their prison and have arrived on Ravnica. These monsters are ravaging the city"the plane"'d probably work better, really convey the gravity that a whole world is at risk. as we speak. I set out to gather all planeswalkers who are willing to help us fight against the Eldrazi. If you are one of them, follow me to Ravnica. Please, make haste!" Not a moment later, the leonin disappeared as he planeswalked away. I would've liked to see more description of Ajani here. It'd be a great opporitunity to show that he's exhausted, worn, in a hurry with no time for even a few traded sentences.For several minutes, the pyromancer stared across the starlit fields of Vryn, completely puzzled by the event that just transpired. But eventually she composed herself and continued her trip back to finish the quest. I'm not sure how to feel about this section. There're just so many weird tones here. Ajani just came to deliver a grave message, then popped right out. And the pyromancer vaguely puzzles over it, then goes back to her quest.
On her way back, she tried to make sense of the few words the leonin had spoken. She never heard of these Eldrazi before, but Ravnica was well known to her; she even spent many of her days following her ascension on the city plane. This is a lot better, conveying, woah, what even? What just happened? Do I even know what that guy was talking about?And now monsters from another plane are attacking it? That sounds... exciting!The ellipses reads a little cheesy, but I like this direction, really helping what you previously established that this is a character totally out for fun experiences and cool sights. Bored with her current quest, she threw the lowland cougar femurs onto the ground and planeswalked away to Ravnica. Could really use some description, even a sentence, of what just went on here.
The pyromancer arrived in a great guildhall. From the architecture, she could tell that it belonged to the Azorius guild. The hall was crowded and the atmosphere agitated. From outside the hall, she could here the action going on already. Constant cannon fire raised the overall noise levelthis noise description could be more dramatic. "Raising the overall noise level" is more like, someone tripped, and everyone starts talking and s******ing., sometimes accompanied by more powerful concussions. And then there were screams. Some clearly human and other so alien, they could not have been released by a being of this world I like this, the early hints at the Eldrazi's presence without showing them..
She looked around the guildhall and identified members of many different guilds. The Azorius lawmages with their runic inscriptions, the Boros soldiers in their brilliant armor, and the dryads of the Selesnya guild. But many others clearly belonged to no guild at all. They were clearly no civilians, so they had to be planeswalkers like her. She approached an elven woman standing next to her who seemed to be just as lost as she was. "Greetings, my name is..." Before she could introduce herself, a Boros soldier walked up to the group and interrupted her. "Alright, here's the situation," he shouted. "The Eldrazi have breached the northern gates. If they continue to advance this fast, they will reach the Tenth District by nightfall. The Izzet are preparing for an aerial assault, but our soldiers cannot hold the line much longer. What we need is more time. Go out there and kill as many Eldrazi as you can. When you're done, report to Aurelia and wait for further instructions. She is the large angel in the northeast. And bring her severed Eldrazi tentacles as proof. Dismissed, soldiers!" I'm not too sure what the Ravnicans are thinking about the Planeswalkers, what they know about them. It just feels so rushed and without any understanding of the situation. Like, I'm fine with it being unclear, since the important thing is that the Ravnicans see the planeswalkers as powerful allies, don't need more than that, but this is very hurried.
The pyromancer would have complained about his manners, but for whatever reason, she decided to let it be. She stepped outside guildhall and finally saw the extent of the chaos on Ravnica. The streets were littered with debris, the buildings were aflame, civilians were fleeing to safe havens, and the guild forces entrenched behind massive barricades, only for an Eldrazi to charge into it, causing heavy damage before being finally taken down. And the Eldrazi? They were more monstrous, more nightmarish, than she could have ever imagined.
Excitement arose within the planeswalker. I'd have liked to see a bit more of a transition between the pyromancer being all pumped for action, and realizing, holy *****, this is crazy. She gathered her mana, conjuring runes to further amplify her pyromancy. She ran out onto the streets and a symphony of fire, destruction, and otherworldly screams ensued there's some repetitive sentence structure going on here. After a short while, every Eldrazi in the area was reduced to ash. Too late did the pyromancer remember that she was supposed to not only kill the Eldrazi, but to collect tentacles from their corpses. She looked back at the remains of her carnage, and found no Eldrazi tentacle that could still be identified as such. She searched for more foes on a plaza further in the north, intending to be more careful this time. Eventually, the pyromancer had gathered a bag full of severed Eldrazi tentacles and was ready to deliver them to the angel Aurelia it's kinda weird how easily the pyromancer is dispatching the eldrazi. They're just drones, of course, but even Gideon has trouble dealing with more than fourish at a time. But since she started the quest, she had sheered far away from the guildhall and could no longer make out the angel on the horizon. She pulled out the map that the Boros soldier had given her and started looking for a point of reference.
While the pyromancer was pondering over the map, she did not notice Kozilek approaching her across the plaza oh *****. Before she could react, the Eldrazi titan killed her with a single swipe Wow, well ****. I like the ending, very sudden, totally blindsiding. I think you could actually describe a bit more what Kozilek actually did, the action going on here.. The bag of severed Eldrazi tentacles fell to the ground. No one would ever know of her exploits. The ending could be a bit more graceful, as is it's pretty abrupt
I think the main thing you'd need to work on here is the flow and pacing. There're parts that feel really rushed, things that totally leave the audience behind without giving a sense of what's going on in a scene. It feels weirdly expositiony, and it almost doesn't feel enough like a story. I think you could afford, like, an extra two sentences per paragraph at least, to give a better idea of what's going on, and you really might want to clean up some descriptions so they're a little less flat.
Good set-up for the story though, establishes the city besieged really nicely. The suddenness of the ending was pretty heavy too, I liked it.
If Planewalkers are going to be a common thing in your set you can make them play out like manlands. Maybe make them less powerful?? to keep their rarity. Just an idea.
I don't quite understand what your intention with your proposed change is. You made them more complex, and moved them further away from common in my opinion. There is one planeswalker who animates herself to a creature, though, and maybe I'll do more.
I think the main thing you'd need to work on here is the flow and pacing. There're parts that feel really rushed, things that totally leave the audience behind without giving a sense of what's going on in a scene. It feels weirdly expositiony, and it almost doesn't feel enough like a story. I think you could afford, like, an extra two sentences per paragraph at least, to give a better idea of what's going on, and you really might want to clean up some descriptions so they're a little less flat.
Good set-up for the story though, establishes the city besieged really nicely. The suddenness of the ending was pretty heavy too, I liked it.
Wow, thanks! I never got much feedback on my stories, and it's something I want and have to improve on, so your critiques are greatly appreciated.
Also, just my two cents, but you should cut Aurelia and replace her with Feather, character-wise. You know, a character who isn't a huge dick. Her ability is so neat though, I like it a lot.
I don't know much about Feather. I'll have to read some of her lore.
I've begun working on Siege of Ravnica again, and I kicked things off with a bunch of changes to the mechanics, set structure etc.
Breach is out. In its place, there is a cycle of sorcery-speed, cantripping pump spells that should be quite excellent on a stalled board.
Glory of the Legion2W
Sorcery (C)
Creatures you control get +1/+1 until end of turn.
Draw a card.
Skeletal Charge1B
Sorcery (C)
Target creature gains deathtouch and lifelink until end of turn.
Draw a card.
New mechanic: Deadlock — At the beginning of your upkeep, if no creatures attacked during each player's last turn, {effect}.
This format is supposed to be about stalled board states, but not the boring kind. Stuff must always happen and tension must be upheld. Deadlock promotes that type of gameplay. The effects are split into two camps: Effects that encourage further inaction ("True Deadlock") and effects that encourage you to attack. The former is found primarily in Orzhov, who want to sit back and slowly drain the opponent.
Siegebreaker Wurm5GG
Creature — Wurm (U)
Trample Deadlock — At the beginning of your upkeep, if no creatures attacked during each player's last turn, Siegebreaker Wurm gets +5/+5 until end of turn.
5/5
Vizkopa Aristocrats2WB
Creature — Human Advisor (C) Deadlock — At the beginning of your upkeep, if no creatures attacked during each player's last turn, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.
2/5
New mechanic: Escort (An escort may protect another creature as both attack unpaired. The pair is blocked as a group and the protector is assigned combat damage first.)
I wanted to have this mechanic for the second set, but now I've moved it to Siege of Ravnica. Escort allows smaller creatures to gang-up against high-toughness blockers.
Vitu-Ghazi Escort1W
Creature — Elf Cleric (C)
Vigilance
Escort (An escort may protect another creature as both attack unpaired. The pair is blocked as a group and the protector is assigned combat damage first.)
2/2
Undercity Wayfinder2BB
Creature — Gorgon (R)
First strike, deathtouch
Escort (An escort may protect another creature as both attack unpaired. The pair is blocked as a group and the protector is assigned combat damage first.)
2/2
The planeswalkers are out. Or at least I'm going to move them to different slots. This is a combination of people not liking them and me needing the space to fit in the new mechanics. I still think they would play well, but I guess they just feel "off" to most people, much like Devoid. Because I still want planeswalkers to be very abundant in the set, I'm going to either move them to a special rarity, where every Xth booster has a common replaced by a planeswalker, or they'll all just be rare, but there's a lot of them. There are supposed to be a lot of planeswalkers, but it's true that each planeswalker should feel unique, and have a proper name. They'll all be guys we've never heard of, and at mythic there'll be the well-known planeswalkers (Jace, Gideon, Vraska etc.).
To fit in the new mechanics, I'm also going to increase the set size to approximately 260.
The different guilds should get more focused archetypes, and the Eldrazi should also be more dominant. I think they've overdone it with Battle for Zendikar, but a few more "draft Eldrazi" cards can't hurt.
Speaking of Battle for Zendikar, I think it's possible to make the story compatible with Battle for Zendikar's story. Ulamog stayed on Zendikar, while Emrakul and Kozilek went straight to Ravnica. That just means that Ulamog won't show up in the set. However, I'm completely ignoring the design of Battle for Zendikar for this set. There won't be any Devoid or Ingest or references to those.
I like a lot of these changes and wait to see how this develops.
I can see why you may remove Breach for space but why do your prefer the cantrip cycle? I'd have thought keeping a few of the Breach designs without an ability word would be a good option.
Also I'm always sad that your blog doesn't get updated more often.
I can see why you may remove Breach for space but why do your prefer the cantrip cycle? I'd have thought keeping a few of the Breach designs without an ability word would be a good option.
To cut down on complexity, mainly. I feel like the cantrip cycle fills the same role I intended the Breach cards for without spending as much complexity budget. The downside is that these no longer act as instant-speed combat tricks, which you need a few slots for of as well. If you feel the complexity issue isn't as big, I'll reconsider it.
Also I'm always sad that your blog doesn't get updated more often.
Thanks, it cheers me up to hear that. I've designed a bit for my Conquest of Orion TCG the last few months, so that's what I wanted to write about, but it didn't get much response.
Completed sets:
Iamur — The Underwater Set
Overworld — Pirates vs. Octopuses
Esparand — The Sands of Time
Unfinished Sets:
Siege of Ravnica — Eldrazi in Ravnica
Shandalar — The Mana Set
Iamur Reimagined — Iamur v2
You can find more creative projects on my page Antaresdesigns!
R&D employees normally cannot view unsolicited designs. Very, very occasionally they can get the head-up from the brand/legal team to do so but usually this is not an option. It is extremely unlikely they will ever see the set, as is true with every set on these forums unfortunately.
RUNIN: Norse mythology set (awaiting further playtesting)
FATE of ALARA: Multicolour factions (currently on hiatus)
Contibutor to the Pyrulea community set
I'm here to tell you that all your set mechanics are bad
#Defundthepolice
Thanks a lot!
I thought about what you brought up about Entrench as well. I thought the best way to go about it is not to change the mechanic, but implement some cards that remove +1/+1 counters, for example the dude that moves +1/+1 counters to himself. I want to fit in a few more of these cards.
Regarding Jace, I consider making his minus ability a -3 (and increasing his starting loyalty to 4), so it can't be used that often. But I'll have to playtest him first. I agree that he could be too good.
Regarding Wizards, what DJK said basically.
Completed sets:
Iamur — The Underwater Set
Overworld — Pirates vs. Octopuses
Esparand — The Sands of Time
Unfinished Sets:
Siege of Ravnica — Eldrazi in Ravnica
Shandalar — The Mana Set
Iamur Reimagined — Iamur v2
You can find more creative projects on my page Antaresdesigns!
Sorcery (R)
Destroy all nonland permanents.
"We've lost the forum of Azor. The guildpact is no more. Work together now, not because a contract binds you, but because of sheer necessity."
-Jace Beleren
Assimilate 4R
Sorcery (C)
Gain control of target creature until end of turn. Untap that creature. It gains haste until end of turn. Spawn 1. (Put a 0/1 colorless Eldrazi Spawn creature token onto the battlefield with "Sacrifice this creature: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool.")
Nivix Tinkerer 1R
Creature - Human Wizard (C)
Whenever you cast an instant or sorcery spell, you may discard a card. If you do, draw a card.
"The Boros are just preventing our defeat, whereas I am engineering our victory."
2/1
Hero's Stand G
Sorcery (R)
Choose one or both -
Creature - Human Warrior (C)
Guildpact - 4G: Skarrg Oathsworn gets +1/+1 until end of turn for each color among permanents you control.
Ruric-Thar still honored the guildpact after Skarrg had fallen. He sent his best warriors to reclaim the tenth district.
2/2
Outlaw 1WUU
Enchantment (R)
Flash
As Outlaw enters the battlefield, name a nonland card.
The named card can't be cast.
When Outlaw enters the battlefield, counter target spell with the chosen name.
Pilfered Plans 1UB
Sorcery (C)
Target player puts the top two cards of his or her library into his or her graveyard. Draw two cards.
"So, still drinking minds, I see?"
-Lavinia, to Mirko Vosk
Gory Crescendo BR
Instant (C)
As an additional cost to cast Gory Crescendo, sacrifice a creature.
Destroy target creature.
The performers quickly integrated the arrival of Ulamog into their show.
Harmonic Gathering 3GW
Sorcery (C)
Put a 1/1 white Bird creature token with flying, and a 3/3 green Centaur creature token onto the battlefield.
"While the other guilds face extinction, our commune grows every day."
-Trostani
Ultimate Verdict 1WUB
Instant (R)
Exile target spell or permanent.
Ithar didn't travel all the way to Ravnica just to take half-measures.
Preacher of Orthodoxy 2GWB
Creature - Human Cleric (R)
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a token onto the battlefield that's a copy of target creature token you control.
Whenever another creature enters the battlefield under your control, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.
2/4
Lawplasm WUR
Creature - Weird Knight (R)
Lifelink
Whenever Lawplasm attacks, switch its power and toughness until end of turn.
Whenever Lawplasm blocks, tap target creature attacking player controls.
Whenever you cast an instant or sorcery spell, untap Lawplasm.
1/5
Concordia Charm WUBRG
Instant (R)
Choose one -
Artifact Creature - Gargoyle (C)
Flying
Entrench (You may have this creature enter the battlefield with a +1/+1 counter on it. It has defender as long as it has a +1/+1 counter on it.)
"The unstoppable Eldrazi will soon hit the immovable object."
3/4
If this forum situation doesn't get any better soon, I won't bother posting text versions at all anymore. This is just unbearable.
Completed sets:
Iamur — The Underwater Set
Overworld — Pirates vs. Octopuses
Esparand — The Sands of Time
Unfinished Sets:
Siege of Ravnica — Eldrazi in Ravnica
Shandalar — The Mana Set
Iamur Reimagined — Iamur v2
You can find more creative projects on my page Antaresdesigns!
Card Comments (of those just posted)
1) A fine reprint
2) A bit weak, but maybe that's for the best
3) Not a common
4) Strictly better Prey Upon, not sure that's okay.
5) Fine based on Atarka Beastbreaker
6) Seems overly clunky
7) Fine Reprint
8) Instant speed Bone Splinters, probably good
9) Nice design
10) Should be 'nonland' based on Utter End, it's safer meta-wise as well to avoid efficient LD
11) Fine
12) Might be overly clunky
13) the 'white' mode isn't white, it has no conditions white uses. Also, the green mode is pretty white, maybe change that as well?
14) Seems fine
RUNIN: Norse mythology set (awaiting further playtesting)
FATE of ALARA: Multicolour factions (currently on hiatus)
Contibutor to the Pyrulea community set
I'm here to tell you that all your set mechanics are bad
#Defundthepolice
3) Looks like a fine basis for a common to me, but it's one I would certainly keep my eye on. Personally as a common I'd put a cost from the start.
4) Obsoleting a common with a rare is not exactly a problem, and the addition is not exactly that worrying IMO.
5) Doesn't seem clunky to me, but a common should almost certainly have the usual "once a turn" limitation on the rootwalla ability.
11) Personally I highly frown on recreating existing named mechanics (i.e. Populate) via rules text.
Missed #5 (Skarrg Oathsworn), fixed the numbering
-Repeatable card filtering is pretty powerful, especially when it can 'go off' like this can. It's not obviously broken at common, but it's concerning.
-Obsoleting weak commons with Rares is fine, but common and rare have the same maximum power ceiling, just in different ways. Prey Upon is a very playable card and making a more powerful version should not be done lightly. It's likely fine here considering it's not that much more powerful, but it's something that could easily prove too good for some environments.
-Was actually referring to Outlaw (#6)
-What do you find objectionable about it? Not that I can't think of any reasons, but I'd like to know.
RUNIN: Norse mythology set (awaiting further playtesting)
FATE of ALARA: Multicolour factions (currently on hiatus)
Contibutor to the Pyrulea community set
I'm here to tell you that all your set mechanics are bad
#Defundthepolice
For starter it feels like cheating. If you want to use a non-evergreen mechanic, you either figure out a new take in a similar design space, or you reuse the mechanic. Using the mechanic while pretending you don't is just intellectually dishonest (and if R&D did that, players would be all over asking "why does this card have mechanic X without calling it mechanic X?"). At least when R&D does it, they do it only with evergreen mechanic (the only example I can think of is stuff like fake flying in green with Spire Tracer or Orchard Spirit).
Second, I'm pretty sure we have Maro on record saying they wouldn't do that (The reverse is fine: Mistform Ultimus is not becoming a Changeling anytime soon.)
What?? No, I meant the forum itself. It takes me like 30 minutes everytime before the cards are formatted correctly, due to various bugs or character restrictions.
But it's not exactly populate. The triggered ability targets, which Populate doesn't. It's very close to it, but so are some of the cards from Dragons of Tarkir to Prowess without using Prowess. And it's not completely accurate that they never reused a mechanic before without using that mechanic. For example, Sporemound doesn't use landfall.
I feel like they've pushed fight cards for Constructed far beyond Prey Upon at this point.
Putting a cost on it would make it feel even less a common for me, so maybe this creature should rather do something entirely different (or have different stats).
Completed sets:
Iamur — The Underwater Set
Overworld — Pirates vs. Octopuses
Esparand — The Sands of Time
Unfinished Sets:
Siege of Ravnica — Eldrazi in Ravnica
Shandalar — The Mana Set
Iamur Reimagined — Iamur v2
You can find more creative projects on my page Antaresdesigns!
There's a world of difference between an ability word (which by R&D's own characterization is little more than flavor text) and a keyword action or a named mechanic.
Completed sets:
Iamur — The Underwater Set
Overworld — Pirates vs. Octopuses
Esparand — The Sands of Time
Unfinished Sets:
Siege of Ravnica — Eldrazi in Ravnica
Shandalar — The Mana Set
Iamur Reimagined — Iamur v2
You can find more creative projects on my page Antaresdesigns!
Hope this helps
http://www.mtgsalvation.com/forums/creativity/custom-card-creation/604608-mse2-export-fixed-mtgsalvation-forum-export
Are you designing commons? Check out my primer on NWO.
Interested in making a custom set? Check out my Set skeleton and archetype primer.
I also write articles about getting started with custom card creation.
Go and PLAYTEST your designs, you will learn more in a single playtests than a dozen discussions.
My custom sets:
Dreamscape
Coins of Mercalis [COMPLETE]
Exodus of Zendikar - ON HOLD
Nivix Tinkerer 1R
Creature - Human Wizard (C)
Whenever you cast an instant or sorcery spell, you may pay and discard a card. If you do, draw a card.
"The Boros are just preventing our defeat, whereas I am engineering our victory."
2/1
--------------------
While I'm designing a set, I'm always imagining the next project already. Siege of Ravnica will have a follow-up set, a small set with only 120 cards. That's how I found it to work best for me: Design a large set, and a small follow-up set, where all the ideas that couldn't make it into the first set go into, then move on to something else. The idea of the set was explored by other designers before. The Ravnicans can't win against the Eldrazi, so the plane has to be evacuated. The story could end with the Ravnicans winning, but I don't see that as convincing without introducing some weird deus ex machina. Name of the set? Probably Exodus, that's the most obvious.
This leads to the first mechanic, which represents the effort to bring the people of Ravnica to safety: Escort. It's a mechanic I'm quite happy with and I'm certain I want to have in the set.
Escort (An escort may protect another creature as both attack unpaired. The pair is blocked as a group and the protector is assigned combat damage first.)
Escort is a very, very simplified version of Banding. You attack with an escort, and you can protect one other creature behind it. The pair is blocked as a group and the escort must be put first in the damage assignment order. The outcome of combat is very predictable, which can't be said about Banding.
Creature - Human Cleric (C)
Escort (An escort may protect another creature as both attack unpaired. The pair is blocked as a group and the protector is assigned combat damage first.)
She had already abandoned all hope, but had to conceal her despair. Her guild master commanded it.
2/2
Vedalken Dispeller 1U
Creature - Vedalken Wizard (C)
Escort (An escort may protect another creature as both attack unpaired. The pair is blocked as a group and the protector is assigned combat damage first.)
When Vedalken Dispeller dies, draw a card.
"The path is clear. Go without me!"
1/1
Undercity Wayfinder 2BB
Creature - Gorgon (R)
First strike, deathtouch
Escort (An escort may protect another creature as both attack unpaired. The pair is blocked as a group and the protector is assigned combat damage first.)
"Always keep your eyes front! For more than one reason . . ."
2/2
Rix Maadi Lapdog 4R
Creature - Demon Hound (C)
Haste
Escort (An escort may protect another creature as both attack unpaired. The pair is blocked as a group and the protector is assigned combat damage first.)
"I hope he won't see it as an insult if I decline his protection."
3/4
Shield of Law WU
Creature - Spirit (U)
Vigilance
Escort (An escort may protect another creature as both attack unpaired. The pair is blocked as a group and the protector is assigned combat damage first.)
"In times of chaos, upholding the law is of uttermost importance."
0/4
Vitu-Ghazi Colossus 4GW
Creature - Elemental (C)
Escort (An escort may protect another creature as both attack unpaired. The pair is blocked as a group and the protector is assigned combat damage first.)
"Who would you rather be guarding you than a hundred tons of thundering rock?"
-Rogad, Selesnya healer
5/7
Firemane Patron 2RW
Creature - Angel (R)
Flying, haste
Escort (An escort may protect another creature as both attack unpaired. The pair is blocked as a group and the protector is assigned combat damage first.)
No angel's gift is greater than her pledge and her sword.
3/4
The next theme I want to expand on is the "infestation" theme. As shown by cards such as Pawn of Ulamog, and Corpsehatch, the Eldrazi like to use other living organisms to breed and feed their brood. So, in Exodus I want to make Ravnica cards that spawn Eldrazi Spawn tokens. The major difference between the Eldrazi Drones and the Infested Ravnicans is, that the Drones spawn the tokens when they enter the battlefield, while the infested spawn the tokens when they die.
Also, since Siege of Ravnica had the "Guildpact" theme of going as many colors as possible, it may be interesting for this set to shift the focus more to the Eldrazi and include a colorless theme. I don't know how this will look like yet. It's maybe cool if the infested Ravnicans are colorless similar to Ghostfire so they get buffed by the "colorless matters" cards.
But these creatures would be just fine even without the colorless text. If it stays or not will be decided by whether I find a way to make it mechanically relevant. Multicolored creatures won't get the colorless treatment, because they're supposed to enable Guildpact.
Creature - Vampire Rogue (C)
Infested Agent is colorless.
When Infested Agent dies, spawn 1. (Put a 0/1 colorless Eldrazi Spawn creature token onto the battlefield with "Sacrifice this creature: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool.")
2/3
Creeping Infestation 1B
Enchantment - Aura (C)
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets -1/-1.
When enchanted creature dies, spawn 1. (Put a 0/1 colorless Eldrazi Spawn creature token onto the battlefield with "Sacrifice this creature: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool.")
Infested Sprout 1G
Creature - Plant (C)
Infested Sprout is colorless.
T: Add G to your mana pool.
When Infested Sprout dies, spawn 1. (Put a 0/1 colorless Eldrazi Spawn creature token onto the battlefield with "Sacrifice this creature: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool.")
1/1
Lastly, I'm looking for more ways to expand on the planeswalker theme. This is a one-of thing, and you should roll with it while you can. Siege of Ravnica has the "choose one or both" cycle, where one option was always affecting a planeswalker. Exodus will have its own mechanic. My current idea for it is Copay.
Copay (Your planeswalkers can help cast this spell. Each loyalty counter you remove from planeswalkers you control while casting this spell pays for 1.)
I want to evoke the feeling that you are really working together with your planeswalkers. The mechanic encourages you to not completely kill off your planeswalker, but sometimes that may still be the right play. And then it doesn't feel like you're working together, but you're exploiting them. So, I think the best designs are X-spells (there will only be instants and sorceries with copay for flavor reasons), where the spell does what it's supposed to do at a certain threshold and additional mana changes nothing. The other option are situational tricks that you're able to represent by having a planeswalker on the board, but you're always paying as much mana as possible yourself. The Copay on the cards can then be treated basically for free; the ability is of course far less often relevant than say Convoke. Here are some examples:
Instant (C)
Copay (Your planeswalkers can help cast this spell. Each loyalty counter you remove from planeswalkers you control while casting this spell pays for 1.)
Creatures you control gain indestructible until end of turn.
Outsmart XU
Instant (U)
Copay (Your planeswalkers can help cast this spell. Each loyalty counter you remove from planeswalkers you control while casting this spell pays for 1.)
Counter target spell unless its controller pays X.
Pyromantic Bolt XR
Sorcery (C)
Copay (Your planeswalkers can help cast this spell. Each loyalty counter you remove from planeswalkers you control while casting this spell pays for 1.)
Pyromantic Barrage deals X damage to target creature.
"I figured it out. We just have to blast them really hard."
And of course, we'll see more planeswalkers at mythic. Now, if I could only find a good Kiora artwork.
Planeswalker - Liliana (M)
+1: Return up to one target creature card from your graveyard to your hand.
-X: All creatures get -X/-X until end of turn.
-7: You get an emblem with "At the beginning of your end step, search your library for a card, put it into your hand, then shuffle your library."
{4}
Ajani, Revered Traveler 1RGW
Planeswalker - Ajani (M)
+2: Until your next turn, whenever a planeswalker you control is dealt damage, Ajani deals that much damage to each opponent.
-X: Search your library for a planeswalker card with converted mana cost X or less, and put it onto the battlefield. Then shuffle your library.
-9: For each other planeswalker you control, you may activate a loyalty ability of that planeswalker without paying its activation cost.
{3}
Completed sets:
Iamur — The Underwater Set
Overworld — Pirates vs. Octopuses
Esparand — The Sands of Time
Unfinished Sets:
Siege of Ravnica — Eldrazi in Ravnica
Shandalar — The Mana Set
Iamur Reimagined — Iamur v2
You can find more creative projects on my page Antaresdesigns!
Completed sets:
Iamur — The Underwater Set
Overworld — Pirates vs. Octopuses
Esparand — The Sands of Time
Unfinished Sets:
Siege of Ravnica — Eldrazi in Ravnica
Shandalar — The Mana Set
Iamur Reimagined — Iamur v2
You can find more creative projects on my page Antaresdesigns!
Are you designing commons? Check out my primer on NWO.
Interested in making a custom set? Check out my Set skeleton and archetype primer.
I also write articles about getting started with custom card creation.
Go and PLAYTEST your designs, you will learn more in a single playtests than a dozen discussions.
My custom sets:
Dreamscape
Coins of Mercalis [COMPLETE]
Exodus of Zendikar - ON HOLD
I think the non mythic planeswalkers are cute, well designed, especially considering how much I don't like the idea and the fact that this would never actually happen in real design makes me like them less. I do like them though, Lowryn Prankster in particular, but design wise this could be an enchantment that costs the same or maybe one more with a choose one option at the beginning of your upkeep.
UBRKess, Dissident MageUBR - Controlling Dissidents
GRhonas the IndomitableG - Indomitable Four Drops
WUBOloro, Ageless AsceticWUB - Loot & Renanimate
That's the problem with planeswalkers that have low absolute values of loyalty costs. Maybe the -1 could be a -2 and the creature slighly stronger (3/1 flying, hexproof for example).
I will pick up Siege of Ravnica again later this year, but I'm currently focused on releasing Overworld. So, if you'd like to give some feedback, follow that link!
Completed sets:
Iamur — The Underwater Set
Overworld — Pirates vs. Octopuses
Esparand — The Sands of Time
Unfinished Sets:
Siege of Ravnica — Eldrazi in Ravnica
Shandalar — The Mana Set
Iamur Reimagined — Iamur v2
You can find more creative projects on my page Antaresdesigns!
Planeswalker (C)
+1: Target player puts the top three cards of his or her library into his or her graveyard.
0: Ir Mesmerist becomes a 2/1 unblockable creature until end of turn.
-3: Tap up to two target creatures. Those creatures don’t untap during their controller’s next untap step.
{4}
Innistrad Bloodmage 5B
Planeswalker (C)
+1: Target player loses 3 life and you gain 3 life.
0: Innistrad Bloodmage becomes a 3/3 creature with flying and trample until end of turn.
-3: You draw three cards and you lose 3 life.
{4}
If Planewalkers are going to be a common thing in your set you can make them play out like manlands. Maybe make them less powerful?? to keep their rarity. Just an idea.
Modern: UR Dragonfish
Legacy: Merfolk
Tiny Leaders: Mono Anafenza
Also, just my two cents, but you should cut Aurelia and replace her with Feather, character-wise. You know, a character who isn't a huge dick. Her ability is so neat though, I like it a lot.
I don't think Consume really needs to be keyworded, that's its weakness. I think it works, but it doesn't really feel like it has its own identity. I like the idea that the Eldrazi's very presence doing things, like otherworldly tough, their presence does stuff. Plus a bit or writing critique
I think the main thing you'd need to work on here is the flow and pacing. There're parts that feel really rushed, things that totally leave the audience behind without giving a sense of what's going on in a scene. It feels weirdly expositiony, and it almost doesn't feel enough like a story. I think you could afford, like, an extra two sentences per paragraph at least, to give a better idea of what's going on, and you really might want to clean up some descriptions so they're a little less flat.
Good set-up for the story though, establishes the city besieged really nicely. The suddenness of the ending was pretty heavy too, I liked it.
I don't quite understand what your intention with your proposed change is. You made them more complex, and moved them further away from common in my opinion. There is one planeswalker who animates herself to a creature, though, and maybe I'll do more.
Wow, thanks! I never got much feedback on my stories, and it's something I want and have to improve on, so your critiques are greatly appreciated.
I don't know much about Feather. I'll have to read some of her lore.
Completed sets:
Iamur — The Underwater Set
Overworld — Pirates vs. Octopuses
Esparand — The Sands of Time
Unfinished Sets:
Siege of Ravnica — Eldrazi in Ravnica
Shandalar — The Mana Set
Iamur Reimagined — Iamur v2
You can find more creative projects on my page Antaresdesigns!
Sorcery (C)
Creatures you control get +1/+1 until end of turn.
Draw a card.
Skeletal Charge 1B
Sorcery (C)
Target creature gains deathtouch and lifelink until end of turn.
Draw a card.
Creature — Wurm (U)
Trample
Deadlock — At the beginning of your upkeep, if no creatures attacked during each player's last turn, Siegebreaker Wurm gets +5/+5 until end of turn.
5/5
Vizkopa Aristocrats 2WB
Creature — Human Advisor (C)
Deadlock — At the beginning of your upkeep, if no creatures attacked during each player's last turn, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.
2/5
Creature — Elf Cleric (C)
Vigilance
Escort (An escort may protect another creature as both attack unpaired. The pair is blocked as a group and the protector is assigned combat damage first.)
2/2
Undercity Wayfinder 2BB
Creature — Gorgon (R)
First strike, deathtouch
Escort (An escort may protect another creature as both attack unpaired. The pair is blocked as a group and the protector is assigned combat damage first.)
2/2
Completed sets:
Iamur — The Underwater Set
Overworld — Pirates vs. Octopuses
Esparand — The Sands of Time
Unfinished Sets:
Siege of Ravnica — Eldrazi in Ravnica
Shandalar — The Mana Set
Iamur Reimagined — Iamur v2
You can find more creative projects on my page Antaresdesigns!
I can see why you may remove Breach for space but why do your prefer the cantrip cycle? I'd have thought keeping a few of the Breach designs without an ability word would be a good option.
Also I'm always sad that your blog doesn't get updated more often.
Are you designing commons? Check out my primer on NWO.
Interested in making a custom set? Check out my Set skeleton and archetype primer.
I also write articles about getting started with custom card creation.
Go and PLAYTEST your designs, you will learn more in a single playtests than a dozen discussions.
My custom sets:
Dreamscape
Coins of Mercalis [COMPLETE]
Exodus of Zendikar - ON HOLD
To cut down on complexity, mainly. I feel like the cantrip cycle fills the same role I intended the Breach cards for without spending as much complexity budget. The downside is that these no longer act as instant-speed combat tricks, which you need a few slots for of as well. If you feel the complexity issue isn't as big, I'll reconsider it.
Thanks, it cheers me up to hear that. I've designed a bit for my Conquest of Orion TCG the last few months, so that's what I wanted to write about, but it didn't get much response.
Completed sets:
Iamur — The Underwater Set
Overworld — Pirates vs. Octopuses
Esparand — The Sands of Time
Unfinished Sets:
Siege of Ravnica — Eldrazi in Ravnica
Shandalar — The Mana Set
Iamur Reimagined — Iamur v2
You can find more creative projects on my page Antaresdesigns!