Keep in mind that this is an expansion of the Sophronia Block, not part of the main core set.
After completing the Rachkshan Set, I decided to make another set with even more cards to showcase, though without the pictures this time, since I went through some various troubling situations associated with that. This time this block will be ENTIRELY focused on Steampunk related themes along with the story and the overall card types. The setting will take place in a pseudo gothic area where steam-powered machines and metallic constructs are seen almost everywhere. This block will rely mostly on constructs, SHIPS ( yes I mean the flying ones), lands, and artifacts. The story will take place within five factions just like Rackshan. The story will have many conflicts and developments where the factions fight to take treasure and knowledge about the mysterious metallic plane called Sophronia. Sophronia's economy relies heavily on scavenging and mining, as there are colossal numbers of gold and minerals underneath the sturdy surface. The government is a massive problem within this plane. The 'president', named Ugor Ondulin, is a arrogant and squat man who forces everyone poor to got to labor through heavy law enforcement and the rich to just sit within their supposed rightful places in the air. Many of the rich residents live within the skies of Sophronia and the rest on the surface. The five factions are actually part of the surface and will do anything to prevent the current power of the Ugor and save the plane of Sophronia from his current grasp. Though on one knows, Ugor is currently searching the very depths of the surface looking for a lost treasure of some kind.
As always, lets start with the lands of the five factions.
Capital of Fergustrad - Legendary Land
This land enters the battlefield tapped.
{t} -Add R to your mana pool
Whenever a artifact you control enters the battlefield, put a charge counter on this land
Remove three charge counters - Destroy target land.
Capital of Mardistrad - Legendary Land
This land enters the battlefield tapped.
{t} -Add W to your mana pool
Whenever a artifact you control enters the battlefield, put a charge counter on this land
Remove three charge counters - Destroy target artifact
Capital of Ulikstrad - Legendary Land
This land enters the battlefield tapped.
{t} -Add G to your mana pool
Whenever a artifact you control enters the battlefield, put a charge counter on this land
Remove three charge counters - Put a 2/2 green beast creature token on the battlefield.
Capital of Durmistrad - Legendary Land
This land enters the battlefield tapped.
{t} -Add B to your mana pool
Whenever a artifact you control enters the battlefield, put a charge counter on this land
Remove three counters - Target player loses sacrifices a creature.
Capital of Aelistrad - Legendary Land
This land enters the battlefield tapped.
{t} -Add U to your mana pool
Whenever a artifact you control enters the battlefield, put a charge counter on this land
Remove three charge counters - Draw a card.
NEUTRAL MECHANICS IN THE SET
Neutral Mechanics -
Devotion- Identical to the devotion system in Theros gods
Convey - You can attach creatures to another creature you control to increase that creature's overall stats to the next level.
Cogwork - A neat little mechanic that doesnt require you to cast mana for it by simply drawing it, instead it does it for you unexpectedly.
Disengage - Discard this card, return a card from your graveyard with the same colorless mana cost and put it into your hand.
Metalcraft - If you control ( number ) or more artifacts, then ( ability )
Infiltrate - If you casted a spell that dealt damage to a player this turn, this ( ability goes here ) This ability triggers when that spell is cast or enters the battlefield.
Prohibit- Remove this creature from your hand, then ( ability ). Return this card back into your hand at the beginning of your next upkeep.
Overwhelm -Whenever this creature attacks, it gets +1/+1 counters for every other creature you control on the battlefield until end of turn.
Races - Trolls, goblins, and humans
This capital is run by a troll named Draug Rendusk, a captain warrior who makes sure none of his weapons or resources get stolen. He and his vast amount of crew members raid across the surface looking for minerals and valuable treasure before the other factions get there. His rule is strict and very enforced, and if his law gets broken there will be severe consequences waiting for that person. He values many of his crew members and wants to get everyone in his 'captial' to be more active and free from tyranny. Draug also isn't that merciful and can be harsh at times but he is otherwise a great and ambitious leader for his people.
Important Cards in this faction -
Draug Rendusk , the Merciless - 5RR
Legendary Creature - Troll Captain (M)
Haste First Strike 4R - Target creature gains double strike until end of turn.
Whenever you cast an artifact with 4 or more colorless mana, you may deal 2 damage to target creature or player.
6/5
Harbinger of the Free. - R5
Legendary Artifact Creature - Ship (M)
Flying
As long as your devotion to red is less than five, this artifact isn't a creature.
Creatures you control gain haste and have, "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player,deal 2 damage to target creature or player The embodiment of freedom has risen.
8/8
Draug's Retribution - 6
Legendary Artifact - (M)
Equipped creature gains +3/+3 counters with reach and double strike
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player,deal 1 damage to target creature
Equip 2 When the crew looks upon the weapon of the "Great One", they bow their heads in humility and did salute in complete devotion to him.
Goblin Jetpacker - 4R
Creature - Goblin Mechanic (C)
Flying Haste
Infiltrate -If you casted a spell that dealt damage to a player this turn, this creature deals deals 2 damage to target creature. "WHEEEEEEEE-----BOOM!"
2/1
Bombardment of Ships - 1R
Sorcery - (C)
Deal 3 damage divided among target creatures or target players and you lose 3 life.
Disengage - Discard this card, return a card from your graveyard with the same colorless mana cost and put it into your hand. As the Furgistrad pirates flew past the intruder ship, both of them were demolished in a couple of seconds that made the sky even more scarlet.
Metallic Zapper - R
Artifact Creature - Construct (C)
Haste
When this creature enters the battlefield, deal 1 damage to target creature you control. Many of the ship residents get annoyed from the constant talking emanating from the miniscule automatons while sleeping.
1/1
Warzone Contraptor - 3R
Artifact Creature - Construct (C)
Cogwork - Reveal this card as you draw it, if you control two or more artifacts, deal 2 damage to target creature or player. It repairs the most basic functionality of the ship counterparts, but never repairs the broken relationship between it and its crew mates.
4/2
Fire the Cannons -3R
Sorcery
Deal 3 damage divided among target creatures or players.
If your devotion to red is more then seven, then deal 6 damage instead of X. The explosions of cannons firing at each other in the sky made the children dance excitedly on the surface, thinking that they were fireworks.
Firearms Revolver - 3
Artifact - Equipment
Equipped creature gains +2/+0 counters with reach.
Sacrifice equipped creature: Deal 2 damage to target creature or player
Equip 2 The most basic Furgistrad weapons are sold on the market streets on the surface for a convenient purchase, though don't have easy feelings on them, their costs change.
Wargeezer Tribone - 4R
Creature - Troll Pirate (C)
Reach
Infiltrate - If you casted a spell that dealt damage to a player this turn, this creature gains haste
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, deal 1 damage to target player. He slouches over the side of the top deck and observes the skies, holding his rifle stiffly in his hands.
3/3
Draco Monger Devastator - 5RR
Artifact Creature - Dragon Construct (C)
Flying 3RConvey 2 - You may attach up to two creatures onto this creature until end of turn, they are auras in addition to their other types. This creature gains +2/+0 counters for each creature attached. It can carry a certain number of creatures, whether they are prey or not.
4/5
Windcutter Sentinel - 3R
Artifact Creature - Construct
3/1
Metalcraft - If you control three or more artifacts, this creature gains reach and haste.
When this creature dies, you may deal 1 damage to target player.
Explosive Mines - 3
Artifact - Equipment
Whenever equipped creature taps, deal 3 damage to equipped creature. If equipped creature dies this way, exile it instead.
Equip 0 Many of the cargo holds contained explosives as the pirates examined the storage, then they realized that it was a trap all along...
Flaming Jetrockets - 3R
Instant
Deal 2 damage to target creature. If that creature was destroyed this way, exile it instead.
Infiltrate - If you casted a spell that dealt damage to a player this turn, this spell deals 4 damage instead.
Wrecking Metalcutter - 6R
Artifact Creature - Construct
Trample
Cogwork - Reveal this card as you draw it, if you control three or more artifacts, then deal 2 damaged divided among target creatures or target players. Its massive engines and contraptions will break even the biggest boards of steel, completely ripping it apart.
6/6
Furgistrad Landing Zone
Land
{t}- Add R to your mana pool.
When this land enters the battlefield, deal 1 damage to target creature, you lose 1 life. "Shipments continuously get arranged through busy schedules and landing zones. If you are fortunate enough to take this task, be my guest."- Landing Zone Manager.
Sharpened Furgis Blade - 1
Artifact - Equipment
Equipped creature gains +1/+0 counters and haste.
Equip 0 Tarassh looked at the blade in disappointment as the general of the ship passed out weapons to the shipmates.
Furgis Shipmate - R
Creature - Human Pirate
Haste The shipmates of the Furgis battalion aren't sociable on board, mostly because of the captain of the ship keeps directing them to move their cargo and weapons
1/1
Warframe Golitah - 5RR
Creature - Giant Pirate 3- When this creature becomes blocked by a creature, each player exchanges control of the two blocking and attacking creatures until end of turn. Your creature gains trample and indestructible until end of turn. Its enormous stature made it more intimidating than it already was.
7/4
Bloodsail Corsair - 3R
Creature - Human Pirate
When this creature enters the battlefield, deal X damage to target creature or player, where X equals to the number of artifacts you control. 2R {t}- Add RRR to your mana pool.
2/2
Stationed Post - 2R
Sorcery
Infiltrate - If you casted a spell that dealt damage to a player this turn, this put three tokens instead of two.
Put three 1/1 red Pirate creature tokens on the battlefield with haste. "Alert your men, captain. We have arrived."
Dynamite Shower - 7RRRRR
Sorcery
Deal 8 damage to all creatures target player controls. The goblin parachute riders leaped down with accelerating speed and dumped an enormous pile of explosives onto the neighboring ship.
Recklessness - 2R
Enchantment - Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gains haste and +2/+0 counters. Perhaps your recklessness can lead to your inevitable victory
Capital of Mardistrad
Races - Humans, Thespians, and cats
This capital is run by a human named Scarlet Asbin, a captain governess who makes her people are under peace and prosperity from the law enforcement of President Ugor. She was always strategic in her plans against various raids and enemies, and only lost a single battle under her command. She never appreciated war and was more keen on peace to all the factions through diplomacy and didn't favor instability for everyone. Most of her people treat her with respect as she isn't exactly a whole lovable person. To get to the point, she is a grand leader of Mardistrad.
Important cards in this faction-
Scarlet Asbin, the Savior - WW3
Legendary Creature - Human Captain (M) 4W (tap): Target creature gains indestructible until end of turn
Whenever you cast an enchantment or an aura that costs 4 or more colorless mana, you may exile target noncreature permanent.
4/4
Savior of Redemption - 5W
Legendary Artifact Creature - Ship (M)
As long as your devotion to white is less than five, this artifact isn't a creature.
Creatures you control gain Vigilance and, "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, you gain 1 life for each nonland permanent you control."
8/8
Scarlet's Eradicator - 7
Legendary Artifact - Equipment (M)
Equipped creature gains +4/+4 counters and gains First Strike with indestructible.
Equip 1 Those who's blood spatters the blade and the hilt of this legend deserved that rightful death. - Words of Faith, written on the hilt of the sword.
Obeying the Captain - 3W
Artifact Enchantment - Machine
Whenever you cast an artifact creature, put a charge counter on this artifact enchantment.
Remove three charge counters: Target player gains indestructible and protection of a color until end of turn.
Robotron Light 3000 - 1W
Artifact Creature - Construct
Defender
When this creature enters the battlefield, search your library for a basic land and put it into your hand.
0/4
Enderfall Warden - 5W
Creature - Thespian Engineer
Vigilance
Prohibit - Exile a permanent you control, then exile target permanent. At the beginning of each player's next upkeep, put those exiled cards back into their owner's hands. It oversees the repair bots and inspects the various machinery within the engine room.
2/7
Mardistrad Convoker - W
Creature - Human Pirate
Lifelink
If your devotion to white is more then five, this creature gains +2/+2 counters "I'm not following the captain for filthy gold, but for an adventure I will never forget."
1/1
Prevent Ambush - 3WW
Sorcery
Until end of turn, creatures you control gain protection from a color until end of turn. The ships assembled to the correct positions and waited patiently for the intruders to pass them.
Powering Cord - 4
Artifact
Whenever you cast an artifact with 2 less colorless mana, you may put a charge counter on this artifact.
Remove three charge counters : Destroy target creature with power 2 or less.
Warchamp Goliath - 6W
Artifact Creature - Construct 5WProhibit- Remove this creature from your hand, then exile target permanent. Return this card back into your hand at the beginning of your next upkeep.
4/5
Tyrone Drone Mechanic - 3W
Artifact Creature - Construct 3- When this creature becomes blocked by a creature, each player exchanges control of the two blocking and attacking creatures until end of turn. Your creature gains trample and indestructible until end of turn. They hover through the storage halls, organizing the cargo and the minerals they collected to their right containers.
3/2
Time Reschedule - 2W
Enchantment
Creatures you control have vigilance and: 1W(tap) = Reveal the top card of your library, you may put that card under your library. "How many times do I have to tell you, you minuscule metal trash can!! You need to put move the equipment after lunch break, not now!"
Hornet Rifle - 3
Artifact - Equipment
Equipped creature gains +2/+2 counters and reach.
Equip 1 The shipmates carried the rifles close to their chests, looking upon the skies to see any other faction ships.
Energy Shield - W
Enchantment - Aura
Enchant Creature
Enchanted creature gains +0/+1 counters and vigilance. They're not that resourceful, but they get the job done if necessary.
Geizo Mass Engineer - 2W
Creature - Human Pirate
Artifact creatures you control gain +1/+0 counters. 2 : Target creature becomes an artifact in addition to its other types until end of turn. He adds upgrades onto the inactive constructs aboard the ship.
2/2
Banishment in the Skies - 4W
Sorcery
Exile target creature. You gain life equal to its power. The crew on the Mardistrad ships unleashed their missiles on opposing ships, creating a huge cloud of smoke to ensue.
Evasive Scout - 2W
Creature - Human Pirate
When this creature enters the battlefield, choose a creature you control and target player reveals a card on top of his or her library. Chosen creature gains protection from the revealed card's color.
1/3
Commanding Official - 3W
Creature - Cat Pirate
Whenever this creature attacks, other Pirate creatures you control gain +1/+0 counter until end of turn.
Whenever this creature blocks, other construct creatures you control gain +0/+1 counter until end of turn.
2/2
Goldwing Skyguard - 5W
Artifact Creature - Dragon Construct
Flying 2WConvey 2 - You may attach up to two creatures onto this creature until end of turn, they are auras in addition to their other types. This creature gains +2/+0 counters for each creature attached.
5/4
Elrondic Delver - 5WW
Artifact Creature - Construct
Disengage -Discard this card, return a card from your graveyard with the same colorless mana cost and put it into your hand.
When this creature enters the battlefield, exile X number of permanents you control, then target gains +X/+X counters until end of turn.
4/7
Ship Watchdog - 1W
Creature - Hound 2W = Target creature gains first strike until end of turn. It smells and hears those who scavenge anything within these shuttles, and it'll race across instantly for the suspicious target.
2/2
Battalion of Shuttles -6WWW
Put three 4/4 white Ship creature tokens on the battlefield with flying.
If your devotion to white is more then seven, put four tokens instead. Scarlet looked behind her and ship and saw an enormous number of her fleet tailing behind her. She knew the time was coming, but the problem was, when?
Mardistrad Landing Zone
Land
(tap) - Add W to your mana pool.
When this land enters the battlefield, you gain 2 life.
This capital is run by a elf named Argus Wargotch, a captain shaman who makes sure that his people an nature isn't disturbed by any opposing forces. He is very gentle and is harmonious, being friendly to anything that belongs with nature. Though he does favor diplomacy and peaceful negotiations, he doesn't not appreciate and favor his enemies and will summon enormous beasts in reaction to them. He lead many of his people out of aggressive battles including his himself from inevitable confrontations. Overall, he is a great shaman to his elven, minotaur, and snake people.
Argus Wargotch - 3GGG
Legendary Creature - Elf Shaman (M) 4G (tap)= Target creature gains overwhelm and trample until end of turn.
Whenever you cast a creature spell with 4 or more colorless mana, you may put a +1/+1 counter on target creature you control.
3/6
Devouter of Nature - 5G
Legendary Artifact Creature - Ship (M)
As long as your devotion to green is less then five, this artifact isn't a creature.
Creatures you control gain trample and, "G(tap) = Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature." The avatar of nature has risen.
8/8
War Staff of Navailer - 8
Legendary Artifact - Equipment
Equipped creature gains +5/+5 counters and trample.
When equipped creature dies,if that equipped creature was beast, return that creature back into your hand instead. The weapon he holds can revive any beast that it touches.
Before getting to the green commons, I will put some cards underneath that are unique.
Colorless Cards -
Tinkerbot - 1
Artifact Creature - Construct (R)
{tap} = Tap target permanent
Sacrifice this creature = Deal 1 damage to target creature or player. This minuscule and mischievous construct brings annoyance to anyone who encounters it.
0/1
Defense Autoturret - 4
Artifact Creature - Artillery (U)
Reach Defender 1Convey 1 - Attach up to one target creature you control onto this creature until end of turn, attached creatures are auras in addition to their other types. This creature gains +1/+1 counters for each creature attached. As the enemy ships headed towards Will's ship, he announced to his crew in a demanding tone to mount the turrets.
4/4
Escape Pod - 2
Equipment - Artifact (U)
When equipped creature dies, return it back into your hand instead.
Equip 0 Scarlet rushed across the platform along with Ergosh, and activated the last escape pod to commence deportation.
Ok, I'll be speaking purely in terms of mechanics here, not specific cards, because I believe you need to heavily review your suite of mechanics for this set.
Right now, you have a total of 11 mechanics. Leadership, Convey, Cogwork, Relocate, Disengage, Metalcraft, Infiltrate, Prohibit, Overwhelm, Burrow, and Duel of the Fates - and thats without you revealing whatever blue and black mechanics you have planned, and I'm pretty sure I saw some others such as Exalted in there too.
Now, go look at any other set. Do you see 15 mechanics in any of them? The answer is no, because Future Sight doesn't count. You are expecting players to have to learn at least 10 new mechanics, some of which are fairly convoluted, just to be able to play your set properly. It is entirely too many.
First of all my recommendation is you scrap the faction mechanics entirely or make them neutral mechanics. Factions work when their mechanics are spread across multiple colors. It does not work with singular colors because there is simply no room to expand upon them. Then, I'd take a good hard look at your neutral mechanics. Why does Duel of the Fates exist? Nothing references it except for a cycle of mythics, and its just a weird tap ability that isn't worded correctly. Why does Convey let you turn Argus Wargotch into a "Legendary Creature - Elf Shaman Aura", and why is it even necessary to do so? Are you willing to support Disengage by heavily monitoring colorless costs of all cards in your set, and why does it let you cast spells for free when that would simply promote self-mill strategies? What is Relocate bringing to your set that offsets its incredibly large complexity and the planning needed to account for its effects?
Quite frankly, your set will crash and burn unless you heavily review your mechanics suite. Go look at some other magic sets for a short while - mechanics are either very simple (Heroic, Monstrous, Strive) or simple to understand despite being wordy (Bestow, Devotion), and there is at most 7 in almost all sets, the obvious exemption being Ravnica, which had 11 (and had 10 factions, not your 5). Drop the idea of having mechanics stuck to 1 color only and your set diversity will benefit a lot. And try to improve their wording - I still have no idea what Duel is meant to accomplish, and some physically do not make sense like Convey.
And lastly - your creatures seem to have the same problem as your mechanics, in that they are completely overloaded. I counted about 5 simple cards among them all, and half of them were rare levels of strong anyway.
I'm willing to help you improve your set if you wish, but it is going to be a lot of constructive criticism, because currently, you set does not remind me of magic the gathering very much at all. Remember, people shouldn't have to spend a minute reading every single card they have in their booster pack in order to understand what it does. Simplicity is best. And you don't need to stick every possible idea you have into the set at once.
Thank you for your time to write all this feedback you've sent me. I will use this advice and do the best I can to change the cards as simple as possible. Thanks.
I wanted to follow a pirate theme, so I wanted to call it "leadership" instead of "devotion".
There's no reason to rename a perfectly good mechanic. One can be devoted to things other than a god as in Theros. One can be devoted to a country, to a loved one, to a leader. By simply renaming a mechanic you take away a name that could be used for something else. Devotion suits your needs to a tee. Save "Leadership" for something unique.
And yes 15 is waaaayyyy to many mechanics for a single set. RTR had 11 across an entire block. Future Sight was considered a failure due to the complexity because it had far to many mechanics.
Oh and Vigilance is no where near mono-reds slice of the color pie.
The land cycle is no where near balanced, and honestly I didn't even read through many of the rest of the cards as that red land would make anyone who ever played against it never play magic again. Especially in a artifact centric block, and as worded it currently triggers of either player playing an artifact, so the opponents game is most likely over turn 2.
EDIT - I removed the mechanics Relocate and Burrow, due to the fact that there are overloading amount of mechanics that will confuse some players. I also renamed "Leadership" to "Devotion". I've made some changes to the cards as well to make them more balanced to the common root.
Steampunk world! I like how the factions are each fighting against the current power, though I'd imagine the black faction wants to usurp it, the green faction wants all artifice broken down, the red faction just wants freedom, etc.
MECHANICS
You have a lot of these and I don't quite see how they each play together. As an example, in KTK you could use Outlast or Prowess to activate Ferocious, and stronger / tougher creatures as well as as well as the hidden Morphs helped Raid. With your mechanics they each seem to be separate.
Devotion - In an artifact world, really? You'd be best with another mechanic to help the Ships "set sail". I just came up with an idea off the top of my head (needs a fair bit of work):
Smoke Belcher 5B
Artifact Creature - Ship
Defender, deathtouch
Boarding 2B(2B: Until end of turn, this creature may attack as though it has defender and can't be blocked except by three or more creatures.)
6/6
Convey - Sounds like Modular and Bestow had a child. Turning things into Auras is a tricky business for the rules. Maybe draw inspiration from the older Chimera creature type in Magic's history?
Cogwork - This looks quite like Miracle. Having different requirements for each trigger is just baffling though. Best to set a number of lands (i.e. 4) and have each card with this ability be costed higher, creating a sense of expectation. Also, the mechanic has nothing to do with artifacts so not sure why it's going on them solely or named as such.
Disengage - Do you mean converted mana cost? This could be an artifact-y mechanic, though if you were wanting that then specify by only putting it on artifacts. Non-artificial things don't really 'disengage' (except Soldiers, but not quite by jumping into your graveyard).
EDIT - Okay, so amount of colourless mana is a thing ey? This could be quite confusing for some players, I imagine, as when you cast the spell you are most likely spending coloured mana on the colourless parts, and so it could be easy to miss the fact that these are colourless. This is possibly even more true for coloured artifact cards. does this make sense?
Metalcraft - This is a threshold mechanic locked at 3.
Infiltrate - Name sounds blue, the only colour which cannot deal direct damage to a player (white and green also rarely get ways). Also, this would make sense as a vertical cycle, but not as a whole mechanic as there just aren't that many instants / sorceries which deal damage to players out there.
Prohibit - Hmm this would make a great vertical cycle (COM, UNC, RAR, MYT legend) but not sure I can see it pan out as a larger mechanic.
Overwhelm - Don't bother give counters until end of turn, just give +X/+X. No point confusing your players. As this ability scales it can be really strong, and that might limit the number of cards it can appear on, and their power level / mana costs. Again, okay as a vertical cycle.
CARDS
Legendary Lands - These are crazy broken! The trick I find with lands is imagine they are actually a 2 mana artifact. That pricing would be ridiculous for these abilities to get major freebies off your artifacts ETB-ing, especially as an artifact set will no doubt have cards like Precursor Golem or Tetravus. Please rethink the abilities!
Draug Rendusk - Abilities seem a bit fractured. Cool promotion from first strike to double strike.
Harbinger of the Free - See above notes on Ships. This is a game-ender without ever having to attack, and should definitely cost more red so it's harder to cast. Nice concept for a mythic! I always find these hard to design for, but you've managed to create a card that screams mythic.
Draug's Retribution - Add 'Equipment' subtype. This may as well say "block or die". It took me a few readings to understand that reach is there so that you can attack then equip tot a dude you kept back. I'd recommend making the equip cost higher as that will keep this card from being an auto-win. Lastly, the flavour text mentions people begin for mercy, despite the weapon belonging to someone who is Merciless. Woops!
Goblin Jetpacker - When does the Infiltrate ability trigger? This might have to bump up to uncommon if the removal is too good.
Bombardment of Ships - Curious use of a 'cycling' card, as you won't always want to hurt yourself with this.
Metallic Zapper - Doing too much for a common. You could drop the pinging ability and flavour this as a magnetic doowackey.
Warzone Contraptor - I have no idea how this card's abilities fit together. If you can explain it in ten words or less that would be grand.
Fire the Cannons - So, if you don't meet the devotion threshold, this costs 6 really restrictive mana to deal 1 damage to a creature? Scrap this card.
Firearms Revolver - Repeated Lightning Bolt at common for only 1 and a creature a pop? This is insane and should not be printed even at mythic.
Wargeezer Tribone - Reach on a creature that taps to attack? And is red? I don't understand. Also, why is red getting a black 'saboteur' ability of card discarding?
Draco Monger Infiltrator - Doesn't haveInfiltrate despite its name, is a common Dragon (!), is a massive red flier at common, has an ability which baffles the rules and is at common without it being a significant theme, requires extra maths to determine power…
SUMMARY
This last card shows me that a lot more work is required of this set. Firstly, your mechanics need to be able to work at common. If they card, they don't convey the meaning of your set all that well. I could see one complex mechanic showing up at common, maybe even two, but not a combination of Devotion, Cogwork, Infiltrate, Convey and Prohibit. Disengage would be okay in small numbers and in the right colours (i.e. WBG).
I think that a good place to start would be to work out each faction's relationship with artifacts and with the Ships in the sky. Once you have that, create some mechanics which exemplify that relationship, and which a new player could look at and think "that makes sense to me". Try work out at least six different cards a mechanic could appear on and work the same way yet play slightly differently. What I believe is important is that the complexity is in the gameplay; if you have to make commons complex to convey your theme then it's going to get you nowhere.
Hope that helps, and sorry if it's not the kind of feedback you would prefer.
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Gaymer
Custom Card / Set Reviewer
When reviewing custom cards / sets, I look for (a) flavour, (b) function, and (c) cohesiveness, generally through a risk focus.
Thanks so much for your feedback, man. I would love to give more information stating your feedback, but I think that's not needed. You basically stated and stated every problem about this set and I appreciate it, I also edited the cards so they make it more suitable to actual common cards. Thanks again!
The intention of my comments is to let you know my thoughts. Obviously I'm not an expert on what needs to go into a set. My experience comes from making a few of my own sets (then getting annoyed with the themes and stoping half way, hehe) and reading whatever I can on set design.
What I have found time and time again when designing a set is that your theme needs to be solid. The mechanics can continue to change, and sometimes work better just as one or two interesting cards. That is especially true with narrow mechanics. The elements which are key to your design should be worked out first, and the rest of the cards can follow on an as-needs basis.
For example, in this world the Ships, Clockwork, and the Factions seem to be the greatest aspects. I would make them the major themes for your set, and work on the mechanics for those. I've found that major mechanics need quite a few different attempts before they feel right. Other, smaller mechanics might appear, and they can be turned into minor mechanics, small cycles or even just one card. Just get the major bits set first and everything else will follow.
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Gaymer
Custom Card / Set Reviewer
When reviewing custom cards / sets, I look for (a) flavour, (b) function, and (c) cohesiveness, generally through a risk focus.
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Keep in mind that this is an expansion of the Sophronia Block, not part of the main core set.
After completing the Rachkshan Set, I decided to make another set with even more cards to showcase, though without the pictures this time, since I went through some various troubling situations associated with that. This time this block will be ENTIRELY focused on Steampunk related themes along with the story and the overall card types. The setting will take place in a pseudo gothic area where steam-powered machines and metallic constructs are seen almost everywhere. This block will rely mostly on constructs, SHIPS ( yes I mean the flying ones), lands, and artifacts. The story will take place within five factions just like Rackshan. The story will have many conflicts and developments where the factions fight to take treasure and knowledge about the mysterious metallic plane called Sophronia. Sophronia's economy relies heavily on scavenging and mining, as there are colossal numbers of gold and minerals underneath the sturdy surface. The government is a massive problem within this plane. The 'president', named Ugor Ondulin, is a arrogant and squat man who forces everyone poor to got to labor through heavy law enforcement and the rich to just sit within their supposed rightful places in the air. Many of the rich residents live within the skies of Sophronia and the rest on the surface. The five factions are actually part of the surface and will do anything to prevent the current power of the Ugor and save the plane of Sophronia from his current grasp. Though on one knows, Ugor is currently searching the very depths of the surface looking for a lost treasure of some kind.
As always, lets start with the lands of the five factions.
Capital of Fergustrad - Legendary Land
This land enters the battlefield tapped.
{t} -Add R to your mana pool
Whenever a artifact you control enters the battlefield, put a charge counter on this land
Remove three charge counters - Destroy target land.
Capital of Mardistrad - Legendary Land
This land enters the battlefield tapped.
{t} -Add W to your mana pool
Whenever a artifact you control enters the battlefield, put a charge counter on this land
Remove three charge counters - Destroy target artifact
Capital of Ulikstrad - Legendary Land
This land enters the battlefield tapped.
{t} -Add G to your mana pool
Whenever a artifact you control enters the battlefield, put a charge counter on this land
Remove three charge counters - Put a 2/2 green beast creature token on the battlefield.
Capital of Durmistrad - Legendary Land
This land enters the battlefield tapped.
{t} -Add B to your mana pool
Whenever a artifact you control enters the battlefield, put a charge counter on this land
Remove three counters - Target player loses sacrifices a creature.
Capital of Aelistrad - Legendary Land
This land enters the battlefield tapped.
{t} -Add U to your mana pool
Whenever a artifact you control enters the battlefield, put a charge counter on this land
Remove three charge counters - Draw a card.
NEUTRAL MECHANICS IN THE SET
Neutral Mechanics -
Devotion- Identical to the devotion system in Theros gods
Convey - You can attach creatures to another creature you control to increase that creature's overall stats to the next level.
Cogwork - A neat little mechanic that doesnt require you to cast mana for it by simply drawing it, instead it does it for you unexpectedly.
Disengage - Discard this card, return a card from your graveyard with the same colorless mana cost and put it into your hand.
Metalcraft - If you control ( number ) or more artifacts, then ( ability )
Infiltrate - If you casted a spell that dealt damage to a player this turn, this ( ability goes here ) This ability triggers when that spell is cast or enters the battlefield.
Prohibit- Remove this creature from your hand, then ( ability ). Return this card back into your hand at the beginning of your next upkeep.
Overwhelm -Whenever this creature attacks, it gets +1/+1 counters for every other creature you control on the battlefield until end of turn.
Destruction of Taighadan
Carnival of Insanity
A world without vision is like participating in an arena death match without any combat experience.
Races - Trolls, goblins, and humans
This capital is run by a troll named Draug Rendusk, a captain warrior who makes sure none of his weapons or resources get stolen. He and his vast amount of crew members raid across the surface looking for minerals and valuable treasure before the other factions get there. His rule is strict and very enforced, and if his law gets broken there will be severe consequences waiting for that person. He values many of his crew members and wants to get everyone in his 'captial' to be more active and free from tyranny. Draug also isn't that merciful and can be harsh at times but he is otherwise a great and ambitious leader for his people.
Important Cards in this faction -
Draug Rendusk , the Merciless - 5 R R
Legendary Creature - Troll Captain (M)
Haste First Strike
4R - Target creature gains double strike until end of turn.
Whenever you cast an artifact with 4 or more colorless mana, you may deal 2 damage to target creature or player.
6/5
Harbinger of the Free. - R 5
Legendary Artifact Creature - Ship (M)
Flying
As long as your devotion to red is less than five, this artifact isn't a creature.
Creatures you control gain haste and have, "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player,deal 2 damage to target creature or player
The embodiment of freedom has risen.
8/8
Draug's Retribution - 6
Legendary Artifact - (M)
Equipped creature gains +3/+3 counters with reach and double strike
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player,deal 1 damage to target creature
Equip 2
When the crew looks upon the weapon of the "Great One", they bow their heads in humility and did salute in complete devotion to him.
Destruction of Taighadan
Carnival of Insanity
A world without vision is like participating in an arena death match without any combat experience.
Goblin Jetpacker - 4 R
Creature - Goblin Mechanic (C)
Flying Haste
Infiltrate -If you casted a spell that dealt damage to a player this turn, this creature deals deals 2 damage to target creature.
"WHEEEEEEEE-----BOOM!"
2/1
Bombardment of Ships - 1 R
Sorcery - (C)
Deal 3 damage divided among target creatures or target players and you lose 3 life.
Disengage - Discard this card, return a card from your graveyard with the same colorless mana cost and put it into your hand.
As the Furgistrad pirates flew past the intruder ship, both of them were demolished in a couple of seconds that made the sky even more scarlet.
Metallic Zapper - R
Artifact Creature - Construct (C)
Haste
When this creature enters the battlefield, deal 1 damage to target creature you control.
Many of the ship residents get annoyed from the constant talking emanating from the miniscule automatons while sleeping.
1/1
Warzone Contraptor - 3 R
Artifact Creature - Construct (C)
Cogwork - Reveal this card as you draw it, if you control two or more artifacts, deal 2 damage to target creature or player.
It repairs the most basic functionality of the ship counterparts, but never repairs the broken relationship between it and its crew mates.
4/2
Fire the Cannons -3R
Sorcery
Deal 3 damage divided among target creatures or players.
If your devotion to red is more then seven, then deal 6 damage instead of X.
The explosions of cannons firing at each other in the sky made the children dance excitedly on the surface, thinking that they were fireworks.
Firearms Revolver - 3
Artifact - Equipment
Equipped creature gains +2/+0 counters with reach.
Sacrifice equipped creature: Deal 2 damage to target creature or player
Equip 2
The most basic Furgistrad weapons are sold on the market streets on the surface for a convenient purchase, though don't have easy feelings on them, their costs change.
Wargeezer Tribone - 4 R
Creature - Troll Pirate (C)
Reach
Infiltrate - If you casted a spell that dealt damage to a player this turn, this creature gains haste
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, deal 1 damage to target player.
He slouches over the side of the top deck and observes the skies, holding his rifle stiffly in his hands.
3/3
Draco Monger Devastator - 5 R R
Artifact Creature - Dragon Construct (C)
Flying
3 RConvey 2 - You may attach up to two creatures onto this creature until end of turn, they are auras in addition to their other types. This creature gains +2/+0 counters for each creature attached.
It can carry a certain number of creatures, whether they are prey or not.
4/5
Windcutter Sentinel - 3R
Artifact Creature - Construct
3/1
Metalcraft - If you control three or more artifacts, this creature gains reach and haste.
When this creature dies, you may deal 1 damage to target player.
Explosive Mines - 3
Artifact - Equipment
Whenever equipped creature taps, deal 3 damage to equipped creature. If equipped creature dies this way, exile it instead.
Equip 0
Many of the cargo holds contained explosives as the pirates examined the storage, then they realized that it was a trap all along...
Flaming Jetrockets - 3 R
Instant
Deal 2 damage to target creature. If that creature was destroyed this way, exile it instead.
Infiltrate - If you casted a spell that dealt damage to a player this turn, this spell deals 4 damage instead.
Wrecking Metalcutter - 6 R
Artifact Creature - Construct
Trample
Cogwork - Reveal this card as you draw it, if you control three or more artifacts, then deal 2 damaged divided among target creatures or target players.
Its massive engines and contraptions will break even the biggest boards of steel, completely ripping it apart.
6/6
Furgistrad Landing Zone
Land
{t}- Add R to your mana pool.
When this land enters the battlefield, deal 1 damage to target creature, you lose 1 life.
"Shipments continuously get arranged through busy schedules and landing zones. If you are fortunate enough to take this task, be my guest."- Landing Zone Manager.
Sharpened Furgis Blade - 1
Artifact - Equipment
Equipped creature gains +1/+0 counters and haste.
Equip 0
Tarassh looked at the blade in disappointment as the general of the ship passed out weapons to the shipmates.
Furgis Shipmate - R
Creature - Human Pirate
Haste
The shipmates of the Furgis battalion aren't sociable on board, mostly because of the captain of the ship keeps directing them to move their cargo and weapons
1/1
Warframe Golitah - 5 R R
Creature - Giant Pirate
3- When this creature becomes blocked by a creature, each player exchanges control of the two blocking and attacking creatures until end of turn. Your creature gains trample and indestructible until end of turn.
Its enormous stature made it more intimidating than it already was.
7/4
Bloodsail Corsair - 3 R
Creature - Human Pirate
When this creature enters the battlefield, deal X damage to target creature or player, where X equals to the number of artifacts you control.
2R {t}- Add RRR to your mana pool.
2/2
Stationed Post - 2 R
Sorcery
Infiltrate - If you casted a spell that dealt damage to a player this turn, this put three tokens instead of two.
Put three 1/1 red Pirate creature tokens on the battlefield with haste.
"Alert your men, captain. We have arrived."
Dynamite Shower - 7 R R R RR
Sorcery
Deal 8 damage to all creatures target player controls.
The goblin parachute riders leaped down with accelerating speed and dumped an enormous pile of explosives onto the neighboring ship.
Recklessness - 2R
Enchantment - Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gains haste and +2/+0 counters.
Perhaps your recklessness can lead to your inevitable victory
Destruction of Taighadan
Carnival of Insanity
A world without vision is like participating in an arena death match without any combat experience.
Races - Humans, Thespians, and cats
This capital is run by a human named Scarlet Asbin, a captain governess who makes her people are under peace and prosperity from the law enforcement of President Ugor. She was always strategic in her plans against various raids and enemies, and only lost a single battle under her command. She never appreciated war and was more keen on peace to all the factions through diplomacy and didn't favor instability for everyone. Most of her people treat her with respect as she isn't exactly a whole lovable person. To get to the point, she is a grand leader of Mardistrad.
Important cards in this faction-
Scarlet Asbin, the Savior - WW3
Legendary Creature - Human Captain (M)
4W (tap): Target creature gains indestructible until end of turn
Whenever you cast an enchantment or an aura that costs 4 or more colorless mana, you may exile target noncreature permanent.
4/4
Savior of Redemption - 5W
Legendary Artifact Creature - Ship (M)
As long as your devotion to white is less than five, this artifact isn't a creature.
Creatures you control gain Vigilance and, "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, you gain 1 life for each nonland permanent you control."
8/8
Scarlet's Eradicator - 7
Legendary Artifact - Equipment (M)
Equipped creature gains +4/+4 counters and gains First Strike with indestructible.
Equip 1
Those who's blood spatters the blade and the hilt of this legend deserved that rightful death. - Words of Faith, written on the hilt of the sword.
Destruction of Taighadan
Carnival of Insanity
A world without vision is like participating in an arena death match without any combat experience.
Obeying the Captain - 3W
Artifact Enchantment - Machine
Whenever you cast an artifact creature, put a charge counter on this artifact enchantment.
Remove three charge counters: Target player gains indestructible and protection of a color until end of turn.
Robotron Light 3000 - 1 W
Artifact Creature - Construct
Defender
When this creature enters the battlefield, search your library for a basic land and put it into your hand.
0/4
Enderfall Warden - 5W
Creature - Thespian Engineer
Vigilance
Prohibit - Exile a permanent you control, then exile target permanent. At the beginning of each player's next upkeep, put those exiled cards back into their owner's hands.
It oversees the repair bots and inspects the various machinery within the engine room.
2/7
Mardistrad Convoker - W
Creature - Human Pirate
Lifelink
If your devotion to white is more then five, this creature gains +2/+2 counters
"I'm not following the captain for filthy gold, but for an adventure I will never forget."
1/1
Prevent Ambush - 3 W W
Sorcery
Until end of turn, creatures you control gain protection from a color until end of turn.
The ships assembled to the correct positions and waited patiently for the intruders to pass them.
Powering Cord - 4
Artifact
Whenever you cast an artifact with 2 less colorless mana, you may put a charge counter on this artifact.
Remove three charge counters : Destroy target creature with power 2 or less.
Warchamp Goliath - 6 W
Artifact Creature - Construct
5WProhibit- Remove this creature from your hand, then exile target permanent. Return this card back into your hand at the beginning of your next upkeep.
4/5
Tyrone Drone Mechanic - 3W
Artifact Creature - Construct
3- When this creature becomes blocked by a creature, each player exchanges control of the two blocking and attacking creatures until end of turn. Your creature gains trample and indestructible until end of turn.
They hover through the storage halls, organizing the cargo and the minerals they collected to their right containers.
3/2
Time Reschedule - 2W
Enchantment
Creatures you control have vigilance and: 1W(tap) = Reveal the top card of your library, you may put that card under your library.
"How many times do I have to tell you, you minuscule metal trash can!! You need to put move the equipment after lunch break, not now!"
Hornet Rifle - 3
Artifact - Equipment
Equipped creature gains +2/+2 counters and reach.
Equip 1
The shipmates carried the rifles close to their chests, looking upon the skies to see any other faction ships.
Energy Shield - W
Enchantment - Aura
Enchant Creature
Enchanted creature gains +0/+1 counters and vigilance.
They're not that resourceful, but they get the job done if necessary.
Geizo Mass Engineer - 2W
Creature - Human Pirate
Artifact creatures you control gain +1/+0 counters.
2 : Target creature becomes an artifact in addition to its other types until end of turn.
He adds upgrades onto the inactive constructs aboard the ship.
2/2
Banishment in the Skies - 4W
Sorcery
Exile target creature. You gain life equal to its power.
The crew on the Mardistrad ships unleashed their missiles on opposing ships, creating a huge cloud of smoke to ensue.
Evasive Scout - 2W
Creature - Human Pirate
When this creature enters the battlefield, choose a creature you control and target player reveals a card on top of his or her library. Chosen creature gains protection from the revealed card's color.
1/3
Commanding Official - 3W
Creature - Cat Pirate
Whenever this creature attacks, other Pirate creatures you control gain +1/+0 counter until end of turn.
Whenever this creature blocks, other construct creatures you control gain +0/+1 counter until end of turn.
2/2
Goldwing Skyguard - 5W
Artifact Creature - Dragon Construct
Flying
2WConvey 2 - You may attach up to two creatures onto this creature until end of turn, they are auras in addition to their other types. This creature gains +2/+0 counters for each creature attached.
5/4
Elrondic Delver - 5WW
Artifact Creature - Construct
Disengage -Discard this card, return a card from your graveyard with the same colorless mana cost and put it into your hand.
When this creature enters the battlefield, exile X number of permanents you control, then target gains +X/+X counters until end of turn.
4/7
Ship Watchdog - 1W
Creature - Hound
2W = Target creature gains first strike until end of turn.
It smells and hears those who scavenge anything within these shuttles, and it'll race across instantly for the suspicious target.
2/2
Battalion of Shuttles -6WWW
Put three 4/4 white Ship creature tokens on the battlefield with flying.
If your devotion to white is more then seven, put four tokens instead.
Scarlet looked behind her and ship and saw an enormous number of her fleet tailing behind her. She knew the time was coming, but the problem was, when?
Mardistrad Landing Zone
Land
(tap) - Add W to your mana pool.
When this land enters the battlefield, you gain 2 life.
Destruction of Taighadan
Carnival of Insanity
A world without vision is like participating in an arena death match without any combat experience.
Races - Elves, minotaurs, snakes
Faction Mechanic
This capital is run by a elf named Argus Wargotch, a captain shaman who makes sure that his people an nature isn't disturbed by any opposing forces. He is very gentle and is harmonious, being friendly to anything that belongs with nature. Though he does favor diplomacy and peaceful negotiations, he doesn't not appreciate and favor his enemies and will summon enormous beasts in reaction to them. He lead many of his people out of aggressive battles including his himself from inevitable confrontations. Overall, he is a great shaman to his elven, minotaur, and snake people.
Argus Wargotch - 3GGG
Legendary Creature - Elf Shaman (M)
4G (tap)= Target creature gains overwhelm and trample until end of turn.
Whenever you cast a creature spell with 4 or more colorless mana, you may put a +1/+1 counter on target creature you control.
3/6
Devouter of Nature - 5G
Legendary Artifact Creature - Ship (M)
As long as your devotion to green is less then five, this artifact isn't a creature.
Creatures you control gain trample and, "G(tap) = Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature."
The avatar of nature has risen.
8/8
War Staff of Navailer - 8
Legendary Artifact - Equipment
Equipped creature gains +5/+5 counters and trample.
When equipped creature dies,if that equipped creature was beast, return that creature back into your hand instead.
The weapon he holds can revive any beast that it touches.
Destruction of Taighadan
Carnival of Insanity
A world without vision is like participating in an arena death match without any combat experience.
Destruction of Taighadan
Carnival of Insanity
A world without vision is like participating in an arena death match without any combat experience.
Colorless Cards -
Tinkerbot - 1
Artifact Creature - Construct (R)
{tap} = Tap target permanent
Sacrifice this creature = Deal 1 damage to target creature or player.
This minuscule and mischievous construct brings annoyance to anyone who encounters it.
0/1
Defense Autoturret - 4
Artifact Creature - Artillery (U)
Reach Defender
1Convey 1 - Attach up to one target creature you control onto this creature until end of turn, attached creatures are auras in addition to their other types. This creature gains +1/+1 counters for each creature attached.
As the enemy ships headed towards Will's ship, he announced to his crew in a demanding tone to mount the turrets.
4/4
Escape Pod - 2
Equipment - Artifact (U)
When equipped creature dies, return it back into your hand instead.
Equip 0
Scarlet rushed across the platform along with Ergosh, and activated the last escape pod to commence deportation.
Destruction of Taighadan
Carnival of Insanity
A world without vision is like participating in an arena death match without any combat experience.
Destruction of Taighadan
Carnival of Insanity
A world without vision is like participating in an arena death match without any combat experience.
Right now, you have a total of 11 mechanics. Leadership, Convey, Cogwork, Relocate, Disengage, Metalcraft, Infiltrate, Prohibit, Overwhelm, Burrow, and Duel of the Fates - and thats without you revealing whatever blue and black mechanics you have planned, and I'm pretty sure I saw some others such as Exalted in there too.
Now, go look at any other set. Do you see 15 mechanics in any of them? The answer is no, because Future Sight doesn't count. You are expecting players to have to learn at least 10 new mechanics, some of which are fairly convoluted, just to be able to play your set properly. It is entirely too many.
First of all my recommendation is you scrap the faction mechanics entirely or make them neutral mechanics. Factions work when their mechanics are spread across multiple colors. It does not work with singular colors because there is simply no room to expand upon them. Then, I'd take a good hard look at your neutral mechanics. Why does Duel of the Fates exist? Nothing references it except for a cycle of mythics, and its just a weird tap ability that isn't worded correctly. Why does Convey let you turn Argus Wargotch into a "Legendary Creature - Elf Shaman Aura", and why is it even necessary to do so? Are you willing to support Disengage by heavily monitoring colorless costs of all cards in your set, and why does it let you cast spells for free when that would simply promote self-mill strategies? What is Relocate bringing to your set that offsets its incredibly large complexity and the planning needed to account for its effects?
Quite frankly, your set will crash and burn unless you heavily review your mechanics suite. Go look at some other magic sets for a short while - mechanics are either very simple (Heroic, Monstrous, Strive) or simple to understand despite being wordy (Bestow, Devotion), and there is at most 7 in almost all sets, the obvious exemption being Ravnica, which had 11 (and had 10 factions, not your 5). Drop the idea of having mechanics stuck to 1 color only and your set diversity will benefit a lot. And try to improve their wording - I still have no idea what Duel is meant to accomplish, and some physically do not make sense like Convey.
And lastly - your creatures seem to have the same problem as your mechanics, in that they are completely overloaded. I counted about 5 simple cards among them all, and half of them were rare levels of strong anyway.
I'm willing to help you improve your set if you wish, but it is going to be a lot of constructive criticism, because currently, you set does not remind me of magic the gathering very much at all. Remember, people shouldn't have to spend a minute reading every single card they have in their booster pack in order to understand what it does. Simplicity is best. And you don't need to stick every possible idea you have into the set at once.
Avant Block: Avant -- Stormfront
Destruction of Taighadan
Carnival of Insanity
A world without vision is like participating in an arena death match without any combat experience.
There's no reason to rename a perfectly good mechanic. One can be devoted to things other than a god as in Theros. One can be devoted to a country, to a loved one, to a leader. By simply renaming a mechanic you take away a name that could be used for something else. Devotion suits your needs to a tee. Save "Leadership" for something unique.
And yes 15 is waaaayyyy to many mechanics for a single set. RTR had 11 across an entire block. Future Sight was considered a failure due to the complexity because it had far to many mechanics.
Oh and Vigilance is no where near mono-reds slice of the color pie.
Destruction of Taighadan
Carnival of Insanity
A world without vision is like participating in an arena death match without any combat experience.
Destruction of Taighadan
Carnival of Insanity
A world without vision is like participating in an arena death match without any combat experience.
Steampunk world! I like how the factions are each fighting against the current power, though I'd imagine the black faction wants to usurp it, the green faction wants all artifice broken down, the red faction just wants freedom, etc.
MECHANICS
You have a lot of these and I don't quite see how they each play together. As an example, in KTK you could use Outlast or Prowess to activate Ferocious, and stronger / tougher creatures as well as as well as the hidden Morphs helped Raid. With your mechanics they each seem to be separate.
Devotion - In an artifact world, really? You'd be best with another mechanic to help the Ships "set sail". I just came up with an idea off the top of my head (needs a fair bit of work):
Smoke Belcher
5B
Artifact Creature - Ship
Defender, deathtouch
Boarding 2B (2B: Until end of turn, this creature may attack as though it has defender and can't be blocked except by three or more creatures.)
6/6
Convey - Sounds like Modular and Bestow had a child. Turning things into Auras is a tricky business for the rules. Maybe draw inspiration from the older Chimera creature type in Magic's history?
Cogwork - This looks quite like Miracle. Having different requirements for each trigger is just baffling though. Best to set a number of lands (i.e. 4) and have each card with this ability be costed higher, creating a sense of expectation. Also, the mechanic has nothing to do with artifacts so not sure why it's going on them solely or named as such.
Disengage - Do you mean converted mana cost? This could be an artifact-y mechanic, though if you were wanting that then specify by only putting it on artifacts. Non-artificial things don't really 'disengage' (except Soldiers, but not quite by jumping into your graveyard).
EDIT - Okay, so amount of colourless mana is a thing ey? This could be quite confusing for some players, I imagine, as when you cast the spell you are most likely spending coloured mana on the colourless parts, and so it could be easy to miss the fact that these are colourless. This is possibly even more true for coloured artifact cards. does this make sense?
Metalcraft - This is a threshold mechanic locked at 3.
Infiltrate - Name sounds blue, the only colour which cannot deal direct damage to a player (white and green also rarely get ways). Also, this would make sense as a vertical cycle, but not as a whole mechanic as there just aren't that many instants / sorceries which deal damage to players out there.
Prohibit - Hmm this would make a great vertical cycle (COM, UNC, RAR, MYT legend) but not sure I can see it pan out as a larger mechanic.
Overwhelm - Don't bother give counters until end of turn, just give +X/+X. No point confusing your players. As this ability scales it can be really strong, and that might limit the number of cards it can appear on, and their power level / mana costs. Again, okay as a vertical cycle.
CARDS
Legendary Lands - These are crazy broken! The trick I find with lands is imagine they are actually a 2 mana artifact. That pricing would be ridiculous for these abilities to get major freebies off your artifacts ETB-ing, especially as an artifact set will no doubt have cards like Precursor Golem or Tetravus. Please rethink the abilities!
Draug Rendusk - Abilities seem a bit fractured. Cool promotion from first strike to double strike.
Harbinger of the Free - See above notes on Ships. This is a game-ender without ever having to attack, and should definitely cost more red so it's harder to cast. Nice concept for a mythic! I always find these hard to design for, but you've managed to create a card that screams mythic.
Draug's Retribution - Add 'Equipment' subtype. This may as well say "block or die". It took me a few readings to understand that reach is there so that you can attack then equip tot a dude you kept back. I'd recommend making the equip cost higher as that will keep this card from being an auto-win. Lastly, the flavour text mentions people begin for mercy, despite the weapon belonging to someone who is Merciless. Woops!
Goblin Jetpacker - When does the Infiltrate ability trigger? This might have to bump up to uncommon if the removal is too good.
Bombardment of Ships - Curious use of a 'cycling' card, as you won't always want to hurt yourself with this.
Metallic Zapper - Doing too much for a common. You could drop the pinging ability and flavour this as a magnetic doowackey.
Warzone Contraptor - I have no idea how this card's abilities fit together. If you can explain it in ten words or less that would be grand.
Fire the Cannons - So, if you don't meet the devotion threshold, this costs 6 really restrictive mana to deal 1 damage to a creature? Scrap this card.
Firearms Revolver - Repeated Lightning Bolt at common for only 1 and a creature a pop? This is insane and should not be printed even at mythic.
Wargeezer Tribone - Reach on a creature that taps to attack? And is red? I don't understand. Also, why is red getting a black 'saboteur' ability of card discarding?
Draco Monger Infiltrator - Doesn't haveInfiltrate despite its name, is a common Dragon (!), is a massive red flier at common, has an ability which baffles the rules and is at common without it being a significant theme, requires extra maths to determine power…
SUMMARY
This last card shows me that a lot more work is required of this set. Firstly, your mechanics need to be able to work at common. If they card, they don't convey the meaning of your set all that well. I could see one complex mechanic showing up at common, maybe even two, but not a combination of Devotion, Cogwork, Infiltrate, Convey and Prohibit. Disengage would be okay in small numbers and in the right colours (i.e. WBG).
I think that a good place to start would be to work out each faction's relationship with artifacts and with the Ships in the sky. Once you have that, create some mechanics which exemplify that relationship, and which a new player could look at and think "that makes sense to me". Try work out at least six different cards a mechanic could appear on and work the same way yet play slightly differently. What I believe is important is that the complexity is in the gameplay; if you have to make commons complex to convey your theme then it's going to get you nowhere.
Hope that helps, and sorry if it's not the kind of feedback you would prefer.
Custom Card / Set Reviewer
When reviewing custom cards / sets, I look for (a) flavour, (b) function, and (c) cohesiveness, generally through a risk focus.
Destruction of Taighadan
Carnival of Insanity
A world without vision is like participating in an arena death match without any combat experience.
What I have found time and time again when designing a set is that your theme needs to be solid. The mechanics can continue to change, and sometimes work better just as one or two interesting cards. That is especially true with narrow mechanics. The elements which are key to your design should be worked out first, and the rest of the cards can follow on an as-needs basis.
For example, in this world the Ships, Clockwork, and the Factions seem to be the greatest aspects. I would make them the major themes for your set, and work on the mechanics for those. I've found that major mechanics need quite a few different attempts before they feel right. Other, smaller mechanics might appear, and they can be turned into minor mechanics, small cycles or even just one card. Just get the major bits set first and everything else will follow.
Custom Card / Set Reviewer
When reviewing custom cards / sets, I look for (a) flavour, (b) function, and (c) cohesiveness, generally through a risk focus.