I'm currently working on a new mechanic, named Brazenness, mainly black and red oriented. It is based on the Sengir Vampire's effect. There are two versions of it:
1: Brazenness (Whenever a creature dealt damage by this creature this turn dies, put a +1/+1 counter on it.)
2: Brazenness - Whenever a creature dealt damage by ~ this turn dies, [effect]
Hence three questions :
Is the wording for the first text ok? There are a lot of "creature" in it, and thought I think most players will get when and where to put the counter, I'd understand it wouldn't work.
Which version do you find the best? I know the second one offers much more possibilities, but maybe keeping the simplest is the best to avoid getting lost with too many effects.
Could I simplify the wording of "whenever a creature dealt damage by ~ this turn dies" for "whenever ~ kills a/another creature"? It sound even more understandable than the actual formulation and can easily be used in different situations (a blast could kill a creature, for instance, instead of writing "if this creature dies this turn...")
The first text is technically fine, but you might consider using CARDNAME instead of "this creature" if you're worried.
The version depends entirely on the context of where you're using it. If the environment already has an ability word, use the first version. If it still has room for an ability word, use the second. There's enough design space for both to be useful.
Since it's reminder text, you can get away with more casual wording and cover yourself in the technical rules later. EG "Whenever a creature damaged by this creature dies, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature."
Thank you for your answer!
I already have 3 ability words out of the 5 mechanics I made for my set, and that's actualy why I wondered about keeping the wording like that. I think I'm gonna keep it as a keyword
Thus, can I use "CARDNAME" within a keyword? I can't think of a keyword using CARDNAME in it.
I'm currently working on a new mechanic, named Brazenness, mainly black and red oriented. It is based on the Sengir Vampire's effect. There are two versions of it:
1: Brazenness (Whenever a creature dealt damage by this creature this turn dies, put a +1/+1 counter on it.)
2: Brazenness - Whenever a creature dealt damage by ~ this turn dies, [effect]
Hence three questions :
Hoping you can help me
The version depends entirely on the context of where you're using it. If the environment already has an ability word, use the first version. If it still has room for an ability word, use the second. There's enough design space for both to be useful.
Since it's reminder text, you can get away with more casual wording and cover yourself in the technical rules later. EG "Whenever a creature damaged by this creature dies, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature."
I already have 3 ability words out of the 5 mechanics I made for my set, and that's actualy why I wondered about keeping the wording like that. I think I'm gonna keep it as a keyword
Thus, can I use "CARDNAME" within a keyword? I can't think of a keyword using CARDNAME in it.