Whirler Dreadnought6
Artifact - Vehicle {M}
Flying, trample
Thopters can't crew Whirler Dreadnought.
Whenever a creature crews Whirler Dreadnought, Whirler Dreadnought gets +1/+1 until end of turn.
Whenever Whirler Dreadnought attacks or blocks, create a 1/1 colorless Thopter artifact creature token with flying for each creature that crewed it this turn.
Crew 1 3/3
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
A mere ten days after the Mending, a young knight of Valeron and a young ranger of Eos made a discovery that would change Alara forever.
Fairground Trinket Dispenser2
Artifact (Rare) 3: Create a colorless 1/1 Thopter artifact creature token with flying. Any player may activate this ability but only as a sorcery. B,T : Destroy target Thopter creature. ''Leave no gear unchecked. Even a harmless vending machine can turn out to be a rebel contraption''
-Consulate guard captain
Painter of New Vistas1GW
Creature - Elf Artificer (Rare)
Tap two untapped Artificers you control: Create a 1/1 colorless Thopter artifact creature token with flying.
Tap two untapped Thopters you control: Draw a card and reveal it. If it isn't a land card, discard it. "Each day, my team and I send them flying to the sky in hope that they will paint the whole Fair with thousands of colourful dreams."
2/2
Tank Drop Skirmisher4
Artifact Creature - Thopter (U)
Flying, prowess
When Tank Drop Skirmisher dies, create a 3/4 Vehicle artifact token with vigilance and crew 1. Depala's new air fleet held payloads not even the most jaded Consulate guard was expecting.
1/2
Thopter Hangar6
Artifact (R)
At the beginning of your upkeep create a 1/1 colorless Thopter artifact creature token with flying for each you have. “On this occasion, Ghirapur skies are filled with the closest perfect machines that will ever exist.”
— Dovin Baan
Art by
PD. if any know how is the code to put a E symbol and/or how intall on mse, please send me a PM.
Refurbusher 3BB
Creature - Human Rogue Artificer (Rare)
Pay : Gain control of target Servo or Thopter creature and sacrifice it. Create a 1/1 colorless Thopter artifact creature token with flying. 2B: You get Knowing how Tezzeret maintains security has never made anyone feel secure.
3/5
The Consulate has officially closed the first round of exhibitions. Brackets are being elaborated. In the meantime, Head Judge Tezzeret kindly invites all other Fair Judges to congregate at the exhibition stand and get ready to stea... ehm, to judge the contestants' inventions.
By Consulate's decree, the judging assignments are as follows.
Head Judge Tezzeret (bravelion83) will have the honor to judge himself the following contestants' inventions:
Flintlock
PsyOp
RaikouRider
Raptorchan
scarbo
StonerOfKruphix
Voxzorz
Fair JudgeMoss_Elementalwill judge the inventions by the following contestants:
admirableadmiral
glurman
IcariiFA
Legend
Necarg
netn10
void_nothing
Fair JudgeBlyddenwill judge the inventions by the following contestants:
Diabolical SOUND
Flatline
Forestsguy
mirrodin71
Tesco(black)lotus
Vertain
Your BFF
Fair JudgeIndighostwill judge the inventions by the following contestants:
Clockwork Gamer
Folza
Freyleyes
Jimmy Groove
P E
soramaro
sperlman
The Consulate reminds everyone that the top 4 inventors in each group will advance to the second round of exhibitions, and kindly reminds Fair Judges to be respectful of the deadline or ask a time extension privately should they need it.
MCC - Winner (6): Oct 2014, Apr Nov 2017, Jan 2018, Apr Jun 2019 || Host (15): Dec 2014, Apr Jul Aug Dec 2015, Mar Jul Aug Oct 2016, Feb Jul 2017, Jun Nov 2018, Feb Jul 2019 (last one here) || Judge (34): every month from Nov 2014 to Nov 2016 except Oct 2015, every month from Feb to Jul 2017 except Apr 2017, then Oct 2017, May Jun Nov 2018, Feb Jul 2019 (last one here) CCL - Winner (3): Jul 2016 (tied with Flatline), May 2017, Jul 2019 (last one here) || Host (5): Feb 2015, Mar Apr May Jun 2016 DCC - Winner (1): Mar 2015 (tied with Piar) || Host (3): May Oct 2015, Jan 2016
• The two public custom sets I've been part a part of the design team for: "Brotherhood of Ormos" - Blog post with all info - set thread - design skeleton / card list || "Extinctia: Homo Evanuit" - Blog post with all info - set thread - card list spreadsheet
• "The Lion's Lair", my article series about MTG and custom card design in particular. Latest article here. Here is the article index.Rather outdated by now, and based on the old MCC rubric, but I'm leaving this here for anybody that might be interested anyway.
• My only public attempt at being a writer: the story of my Leonin custom planeswalker Jeff Lionheart. (I have a very big one that I'm working on right now but that's private for now, and I don't know if I will ever actually publish it, and I also have ideas for multiple future ones, including one where I'm going to reprise Jeff.)
(1.5/3) Appeal: Johnny might find a combo for this. Timmy likes big effects, but would like to get something bigger than 1/1 Thopters.
(3/3) Elegance: No problems here.
Development -
(2/3) Viability: I'm assuming you accidentally left out the part that Thopters have flying, so I'm only going to penalize you in Quality only. Also, I can see this as just rare.
(2/3) Balance: I'm more like to play this when I have no other artifacts or I have artifacts that trigger when they leave the battlefield.
Creativity -
(3/3) Uniqueness: I can't find any other creature like this.
(3/3) Flavor: I could see that happening.
Polish -
(2/3) Quality: See Viability.
(2/2) Main Challenge: Met.
(2/2) Subchallenges: Both met.
Total: 20.5/25
Design -
(2/3) Appeal: Johnny sees combo potential. Timmy likes the 6/6 body.
(3/3) Elegance: No problems here.
Development -
(3/3) Viability: No problems here.
(2/3) Balance: A 4/4 for six mana seems reasonable, since Stone Golem costs 1 less and is vanilla. Still, I can't help but think it could be better, like maybe you get your thopters when it dies.
Creativity -
(2/3) Uniqueness: There are creatures that sacrifice itself to give you one or more tokens, so this is not unique.
(2/3) Flavor: Not too crazy about the name.
Polish -
(3/3) Quality: Looks good.
(2/2) Main Challenge: Met.
(2/2) Subchallenges: Both met.
Total: 22/25
Design -
(1.5/3) Appeal: Johnny could find lots of ideas. Timmy is not impressed. Spike would like it if it cost less.
(3/3) Elegance: No problems here.
Development -
(2/3) Viability: I can see this as mythic rare.
(2/3) Balance: Instead of fabricate 2, it should be fabricate 1. It's irritating enough that's it almost impossible to kill.
Creativity -
(2/3) Uniqueness: Not much here that hasn't been done before.
(3/3) Flavor: No problems here.
Polish -
(2/3) Quality: Card name is different in the rules text.
(2/2) Main Challenge: Met.
(2/2) Subchallenges: Both met.
Total: 20.5/25
Design -
(0.5/3) Appeal: Spike might like it give another creature flying. Johnny and Timmy are underwhelmed.
(3/3) Elegance: No problems here.
Development -
(3/3) Viability: No problems here.
(2/3) Balance: Honestly, you could have given this a 1 power. Sure, this would force an increase in either mana cost or rarity, but if you want someone to attack with this, you need a reason.
Creativity -
(1/3) Uniqueness: It's an Ornithopter with Trained Condor's ability, with a little extra.
(3/3) Flavor: No problems here.
Polish -
(1/3) Quality: The p/t is before the card text. Also, it should be “When CARDNAME enters the battlefield...”
(2/2) Main Challenge: Met
(2/2) Subchallenges: Both met.
Total: 18.5/25
Design -
(1/3) Appeal: Johnny might like it. Timmy and Spike are underwhelmed.
(3/3) Elegance: No problems here.
Development -
(2/3) Viability: While the flavour fits, I feel this should be white or blue, or both.
(2/3) Balance: Right now, there are three cards in Kaladesh that can create Servo tokens multiple times, two of which forces you into a second colour. Mana cost is reasonable. You just can't a decent enough deck for this right now.
Creativity -
(3/3) Uniqueness: Replacing one type of creature token with another is new.
(3/3) Flavor: No problems here.
Polish -
(3/3) Quality: It's good.
(2/2) Main Challenge: Met.
(2/2) Subchallenges: Both met.
Total: 21/25
Design -
(2/3) Appeal: Johnny might find a combo for this. Timmy is yawning. Spike might like the last activated ability.
(3/3) Elegance: No problems here.
Development -
(2/3) Viability: I think this should be green and blue, since white makes Servo tokens and blue makes Thopters... for now.
(2/3) Balance: You need another Artificer for this to be useful, and I never cared about the second ability when it was on Sindbad. I think this could have been just a 2-drop.
Creativity -
(2/3) Uniqueness: It has the abilities of both Uktabi Kong (sort of) and Fa'adiyah Seer (sort of)
(3/3) Flavor: It's okay.
Polish -
(3/3) Quality: Looks good.
(2/2) Main Challenge: Met.
(2/2) Subchallenges: Both met.
Total: 21/25
Design -
(1.5/3) Appeal: Timmy is not impressed with the size of the Thopter or the Vehicle. Johnny sees combo potential. Spike might play with it.
(3/3) Elegance: No problems here.
Development -
(3/3) Viability: No problems here.
(2/3) Balance: For uncommon, I think this could cost 1 less to cast. Other than that, I think this is okay.
Creativity -
(3/3) Uniqueness: Will we see Vehicle tokens in the next set? Who knows?
(3/3) Flavor: No problems here.
Polish -
(2/3) Quality: They are most likely to add the reminder text for prowess.
(2/2) Main Challenge: Met
(2/2) Subchallenges: Both met.
Whenever a thopter you control dies, you may pay E to deal one damage to target creature.
"The lengths the consulate is taking to protect the fair is unnerving."
-Mitul, to Rashmi
1/2
Design - (1.5/3) Appeal: This card is just too small to interest Timmy.
There is some combo potential with this card in regards to other cards of its own type for Johnny, but nothing game winning or necessarily worth building around in a particularly inventive way.
Spike loves under-costed cards such as this one. This card is appealing enough to run in an aggressive deck all on its own. (1.5/3) Elegance: The most problematic inelegance with this card is that the damage dealing triggered ability (the last line of rules text) lacks a source. Does the card “Assault Thopter” deal the damage, or does the dying thopter deal the damage, or...? This has not been explicitly spelled out by the rules text, and hence it is a gaffe in regards to this criterion.
Development - (2/3) Viability: This card is at the appropriate rarity. This card is also just fine as colorless in my honest opinion.
However, this card suffers from a rules break of not specifying the source of the damage being dealt according to its third line of rules text. It also suffers from another viability problem in that it uses energy yet does not provide any on its own. Every card in Kaladesh that uses energy also provides energy to its controller somehow. Only a few cards in Kaladesh provide energy without a way of using it; no cards in Kaladesh use energy without a way of also providing it. (1.5/3) Balance: A 1/2 flyer for 2 at common is just fine in terms of balance. However, this card has two extra abilities. I would cost it at 3 since its body is really underwhelming for its effects. The main saving grace that prevents this submission from having a bad score in this particular criterion is that it is only a 1/2 flyer for 2 unless it is built around with other thopters and energy sources. Nonetheless, I would not call it a balanced card.
Creativity - (1/3) Uniqueness: We see lords (creatures that buff other creatures of certain types) every set; this card is hardly different unfortunately. (2/3) Flavor: I like the name myself, even if it is a little plain (I am surprised that it was not already taken). The sentence of flavor text of this card is also grammatically incorrect; I would personally rewrite it as follows: “The lengths that the consulate is taking to protect the fair are unnerving.”
Nevertheless, this card is most certainly Kaladeshi.
Polish - (0/3) Quality: This card’s name “Assault Thopter” should be bolded (minus half a point). There are six unnecessary line breaks in the text of this card (minus half a point each). Both instances of “thopter” in this card’s rules text need to be capitalized (minus half a point each). The word “have” in this card’s rules text should be replaced with ‘get’ (minus half a point). The number “one” in this card’s rules text should instead be the numeral ‘1’ (minus half a point). There is an unnecessary space between the energy symbol and the word ‘to’ in this card’s rules text (yes I noticed that, minus half a point). Finally, the short dash next to the name “Mitul” should instead be a long dash ‘—’.
Finally, the last line of rules text on this card should read “Whenever a Thopter you control dies, you may pay E. If you do, <SOURCE> deals 1 damage to target creature.” (minus one and a half points for a necessary rewrite of a line of rules text) (2/2) Main Challenge: Main challenge met! (2/2) Subchallenges: Both subchallenges met!
Total: 13.5/25
Final thoughts: The concept behind this card is rather interesting, even if the actual execution has left a lot to be desired. Do not be discouraged; be encouraged to keep working on that very execution!
Air-Patrol Captain
Creature — Human Soldier (R)
First strike
When Air-Patrol Captain enters the battlefield, you get .
Whenever Air-Patrol Captain attacks, you may pay . If you do, create a 1/1 colorless Thopter artifact creature token with flying that is tapped and attacking. "There have been reports of renegade activity in the northeast quadrant of Ghirapur. Dispatch a thopter patrol unit."
2/1
Design - (1/3) Appeal: Timmy is bored by this rather small card.
Likewise, Johnny is also bored by this simplistic card that does not realistically have any worthwhile combo potential.
However, Spike is very appealed to by this sort of efficient and self-sufficient yet synergistic card. It may not be especially flashy, but it does not have to be by any means for Spikes such as myself. (3/3) Elegance: Expertly elegant.
Development - (3/3) Viability: Rare is indeed the exact rarity for this card. It is also certainly White on the color wheel. (2.5/3) Balance: This card is almost a little too pushed in my honest opinion. Almost.
I do like this card, though. If I were developing this design, I would likely attempt to balance it by either costing the triggered ability at EE instead of just E OR I would have the card create a servo instead of a thopter. Just a minor tweak and little else most likely.
Creativity - (1.5/3) Uniqueness: We have already seen Kaladeshi creatures that use up their energy counters whenever they attack (see Aetherstorm Roc, the Thriving creature cycle, et cetera). However, this is not a half bad way to approach the trigger and cost in regards to this particular criterion. (3/3) Flavor: My inner Vorthos is pleased.
This flavor text is surely Kaladeshi.
Polish - (2.5/3) Quality: Almost perfect. The only qualitative error that is present on this card is the lack of energy counter reminder text (minus half a point). In this case, the following reminder text is necessary after the energy symbols and before the period: (two energy counters) (2/2) Main Challenge: Main challenge met! (2/2) Subchallenges: Both subchallenges met!
Total: 20.5/25
Final thoughts: Do you think the peoples of Kaladesh have their take-out food delivered to them by mounting it onto the backs of servos or by hauling it underneath the chasses of thopters?
Sorry, that was a bit random, I know.
Discard a card: create a 1/1 Thopter artifact creature token with flying.
Tap an untapped thopter you control: Target opponent discards a non-land, non-creature card. If he or she cannot, that player reveals his or her hand. The thopters act as saboteurs of both consulate and renegades, making the Aetherborn valuable allies to both.
2/4
Design - (2/3) Appeal: Timmy is unexcited by this card.
Johnny would play this for sure in a deck full of thopters, as this card is surely worth building around.
Spike would splash black for this in almost any deck with a high enough curve. (3/3) Elegance: Exquisitely elegant.
Development - (2/3) Viability: This card is definitely black on the color wheel. This card also definitely qualifies as a mythic.
However, this submission presents what I would call a severe viability issue. Instant speed discard is just not something that is printed on official Magic: The Gathering cards anymore; this is especially true in the case of repeatable instant speed discard. (0/3) Balance: Repeatable instant speed discard at such a low mana cost is not only not fun (good luck playing this out in casual), it is also really debilitating to have to play against. The second ability simply costs far too little on this card. Sacrificing multiple thopters (thus being unable to reuse them on a following turn), and only at sorcery speed, would likely improve this card’s balance score significantly. Even lowering this card’s high toughness would help. This card is just pushed to the point of being oppressively and brokenly unbalanced as-is; even the fact that this card likely cannot entirely empty your opponent’s hand is no saving grace here.
Creativity - (1.5/3) Uniqueness: Discarding cards is something that black does all the time in basically every set. Involving thopters in that regard is relatively unique by comparison. (2.5/3) Flavor: As a Vorthos myself, I see that all of this flavor in both name and text does come together with an interesting presentation. Nonetheless, the whole of the card could really benefit from some polish, and the flavor text is no exception; a ‘the’ before both “consulate” and “renegades” would be a marked improvement in being able to read this card’s flavor text that much better.
I see no problems with this card’s flavor meeting the second subchallenge.
Polish - (0/3) Quality: A space is missing between the card’s name and the mana cost (minus half a point). There is an unnecessary break between the type line and the first line of rules text (minus half a point). The word “create” in the first line of rules text should also be capitalized (minus half a point). Also, the word “thopter” in the second line of rules text should be capitalized (minus half a point).
Lastly, in regards to the instance of “non-land, non-creature”; it should instead be ‘noncreature, nonland’ (minus one and a half points; both hyphens are unnecessary, and the order of the words should be reversed) {See Duress, Mardu Charm, Narset Transcendent, Waste Not, et cetera.} (2/2) Main Challenge: Main challenge met! (2/2) Subchallenges: Both subchallenges met!
Total: 15/25
Final thoughts: This card as-is truly seems nightmarish to attempt to play against in any meaningful way. I am not entirely sure if that was the point or not.
Thopter Hangar6
Artifact (R)
At the beginning of your upkeep create a 1/1 colorless Thopter artifact creature token with flying for each you have. “On this occasion, Ghirapur skies are filled with the closest perfect machines that will ever exist.”
— Dovin Baan
Design - (3/3) Appeal: This card delivers for Tammy as long as she builds her deck with this energy counter synergy in mind. It is a little bit of a downer that she has to save up the energy counters rather than spend them right anyway, but that is comparatively minor.
For Jenny, the sky is the limit for building up a ridiculous number of energy counters in order to end the game with a similarly ludicrous number of thopters.
Energy counters can be reliably enough obtained, even in Limited, such that Spike would consider this in any deck that could support it. (3/3) Elegance: Energetically elegant.
Development - (1.5/3) Viability: This card works decently well as colorless. However, this card has a power level that potentially justifies it being mythic rare in regards to rarity instead of only rare.
This card also suffers from other severe viability issues. If you have zero energy counters, this card does literally nothing. Every card printed in Kaladesh that utilizes energy also has a way to attain it for its controller. This has none such method. This card also does not spend energy, something that cards in Kaladesh do with the acquired counters. This counterintuitively encourages the saving up of energy, which in my opinion is not ideal gameplay by contrast. (0/3) Balance: This card also creates a ludicrous amount of flying thopter tokens every turn until it is removed by the opponent, assuming that this card is in the intended deck. There is no limit to the amount of thopters that could be created here, such there is no limit to the amount of energy that a player can store up. I would not be surprised if this card could consistently create a double digit number of 1/1 flyers every single upkeep in a dedicated deck. For only an initial cost of 6, the repeatable returns on this one-time investment are simply to the point of just being outright silly. Creating a 1/1 thopter normally costs EEE after all, and this card does not even spend energy counters. If it created servos instead, that would be a significant downgrade, and hence a step in the right direction towards improving this card. Anything to reduce its already sky-high power level would be appreciable.
Creativity - (1/3) Uniqueness: Cards that create tokens at the beginning of upkeeps have been thoroughly done before. Involving energy does not add much to this card’s score for this criterion in that regard. (2/3) Flavor: I love the name (and I am surprised that it has not already been officially taken). The flavor text is ungrammatical enough that it leaves something to be desired, however.
This card doubtlessly tastes like Kaladesh.
Polish - (1.5/3) Quality: A comma is missing between the words “upkeep” and “create” (minus half a point; the trigger and the effect of a triggered ability are always separated by a comma). There is an unnecessary space in the flavor text between the long dash and Dovin Baan’s name (minus half a point).
This card is also missing the energy counter reminder text (minus half a point). It should be present after the energy symbol and before ‘you’ and read as follows: (energy counters) (2/2) Main Challenge: Main challenge met! (2/2) Subchallenges: Both subchallenges met!
Total: 16/25
Final thoughts: This card would be a lot more interesting if it could instead accrue and spend energy counters as an engine all on its own to create a fleet of thopters with a bit more gameplay attached to it as a result. Keep up the inspired designs!
Night Market Courier3
Artifact creature - Thopter [Rare]
Flying
When Night Market Courier enters the battlefield, look at the top four cards of your library. You may exile up to one card from among them face down, then shuffle your library.
When Night Market Courier leaves the battlefield, discard a card. Then put the exiled card into its owner's hand.
2/1 "Want to trade some secrets?"
- Donti, Lord of Luxury
Design - (1/3) Appeal: I believe that Timmy would awkwardly find this card to be boring.
Johnny can use this as a cheap tutor that could perhaps also fulfill some other niches. It is not worth building around, however.
Spike sees this card as a 2/1 flyer for three mana that comes with basically a one-time filter. This card makes an okay impression in this way to her and little else. (1/3) Elegance: This card has an inelegance similar to that of the infamous problem of Oblivion Ring when compared to Banishing Light.
It would be healthier for this card if the first instance of the word “when” was replaced with the word ‘as’. It is also weird that the enters the battlefield effect is optional, despite the fact that the subsequent leaves the battlefield effect is not. It could also be misconstrued that the library shuffling is optional in this rules text, even when it is not regardless.
Development - (2/3) Viability: This card fits fine at a rarity of rare. This card is also likely fine to exist as colorless.
Regrettably, there is a severe viability concern with this card; it has, according to MSE 2 (Magic Set Editor 2) at least, a total of 10 lines of text. That is just too many lines of text to attempt to fit on a card according to modern official Magic: The Gathering standards. My apologies. (2.5/3) Balance: So, it is a 2/1 flyer, which can be costed at 3 at common with a minor downside. A 2/1 flyer for 3 has no such downside at uncommon. So, it is easy enough to assume that, at rare at least, a 2/1 flyer for 3 at rare can have a minor upside such as the one presented here, especially in an artifact block such as Kaladesh.
The main balance quandary with this card is its inherent awkwardness that comes with both of its triggers unable to consistently work in harmony. It can potentially be removed from the battlefield before its enters-the-battlefield effect is allowed to timely resolve, meaning that one would have to discard a card without actually being able to filter as a result. Admittedly, this actually may help this card’s balance score more than it hurts it in this specific case since it is already a nicely stated flyer for only a generic mana cost.
Creativity - (1.5/3) Uniqueness: I would call the way that this card filters as “interesting” but I would not call it necessarily unique. (2.5/3) Flavor: This has a neat aesthetic tie to Kaladesh’s black market (see Night Market Lookout), which definitely helps this card’s score for this specific criterion. The flavor text reads as a little generic and uninspired; that very well could be Gonti’s catchphrase that they say multiple times a night. The effect of the card most certainly fits together with the flavor, however. Gonti, Lord of Luxury is a non-planeswalker character that exists within Kaladesh; therefore, this card has no vagueness when it comes to fully meeting the second subchallenge.
Polish - (1/3) Quality: The word “creature” should be capitalized in the type line (minus half a point). There is also an unnecessary space between the short dash (which should be a long dash ‘—’) and Gonti’s name and title (minus half a point). The power/toughness line should be below the line of flavor text and not above them (minus half a point). Lastly, Gonti, Lord of Luxury’s name has been erroneously misspelled as “Donti” on this card’s flavor text (minus half a point). (2/2) Main Challenge: Main challenge met! (2/2) Subchallenges: Both subchallenges met!
Total: 15.5/25
Final thought: This card likely does not actually need eight lines of rules text to do what it is essentially trying to do in practice.
Foreman of Fabrication5
Artifact Creature - Construct (R)
Fabricate 1 (When this creature enters the battlefield, put a +1/+1 counter on it or create a 1/1 colorless Servo artifact creature token.) 2, T: You get an amount of E(energy counters) equal to Foreman of Fabrication's power. E, Tap an untapped Servo you control: Create a 1/1 colorless Thopter artifact creature token with flying. "Unfortunately, its utilization of servo workforce comes with a strong dependance on outside assistance." - Dovin Baan
2/4
Design - (3/3) Appeal: This card can potentially accrue a lot of energy. A lot of it. Timmy can use that energy to do big things with energy creatures; Johnny can use that energy to fuel his machinations; Spike can also put that energy to good use. The extra upsides that come with this card (a decent body for generic mana and a way to potentially use up all that energy) make this card quite appealing indeed. (2/3) Elegance: This card tries to do a lot; I argue that it attempts to do so unnecessarily. In game design, you want to acquire the most amount of depth for the least amount of complexity. This card’s rules text could perhaps be separated in order to create two different or potentially even three different cards. Trying to bundle them all of these lines of rules text together into one somewhat disjointed card only hurts this card’s elegance score, as the effects of this card can be a lot to take in all at once.
Development - (1.5/3) Viability: This card can theoretically exist as colorless since both energy counters and fabricate are universal mechanics in Kaladesh. This card is also possibly doable at rare, but it honestly does enough to the point where I would consider the possibility of it existing as mythic rare instead.
Unfortunately, there is a severe viability problem with this card; it has, according to MSE 2 (Magic Set Editor 2) at least, a total of 10 lines of text. That is simply way too much text to attempt to fit on a card according to today’s official Magic: The Gathering standards. My apologies. (0/3) Balance: As bravelion83 has written at least once, everyone loves a broken card!
This card is too pushed for too little cost, especially when all of that mana is generic. A 3/5 artifact creature for 5 with no rules text is considered to be perfectly acceptable at common. Pushing the rarity to rare does not simply mean that one can just simply add all of these extra abilities and call it a day. Being able to repeatedly accrue this much energy for so little mana (again, all of it generic) just disregards the very concept of the energy economy that Kaladesh has built up, especially at instant speed. To provide perspective, see Fabrication Module which only adds a single energy counter for 4 and a tap instead of simply 2.
This is contrastingly minor, but I would also add a mana cost of to the third line of rules text. Since this card is able to generate so much energy, the additional idea that it could possibly somehow spend all of that energy on a thopter army with enough servos is also troubling.
Creativity - (2/3) Uniqueness: The power to energy effect of this card is the most unique and interesting of the bunch to the point of this submission earning an above-average score for this criterion. (2/3) Flavor: I really like this card name. This card’s flavor text is comparatively less likeable; problematically, the flavor text does not necessarily synergize with the mechanics, as this card is actually quite self-sufficient in practice.
Dovin Baan is a planeswalker that is native to Kaladesh, so I believe that this card’s flavor meets the second subchallenge with adequacy.
Polish - (1.5/3) Quality: The word ‘dependence’ has been misspelled as “dependance” in the flavor text (minus half a point). The name “Dovin Baan” requires its own second line of flavor text (minus half a point); there should also be no space between the dash (which should also be a long dash ‘—’ instead of a short dash) and the aforementioned name (minus half a point). (2/2) Main Challenge: Main challenge met! (2/2) Subchallenges: Both subchallenges met!
Total: 16/25
Final thought: I really wanted to like this card more than I actually do in all honesty.
Refurbusher 3BB
Creature - Human Rogue Artificer (Rare)
Pay : Gain control of target Servo or Thopter creature and sacrifice it. Create a 1/1 colorless Thopter artifact creature token with flying. 2B: You get Knowing how Tezzeret maintains security has never made anyone feel secure.
3/5
Design - (1.5/3) Appeal: This card is somewhat big and exciting for Tammy but it is not necessarily worth being overly hyped about.
Jenny likes the idea of being able to repeatedly accrue energy counters through merely the expenditure of mana.
Spike appreciates the efficiency of this card as a mana sink, even if she does not necessarily care for how this card actually spends its energy counters. (2/3) Elegance: The primary inelegance that this card suffers involves the awkwardness of possibly changing control only to sacrifice, which is ultimately pointless when the singular word ‘destroy’ could be used almost the same mechanically. The second inelegance that is problematic for this card is that the phrase ‘If you do,’ seems to be missing when it likely should come just before the word “Create” (which would of course become lowercase in this supposed instance).
Development - (1/3) Viability: This card is just fine with a rarity of rare. However, changing control of permanents has historically been intrinsic to blue on the color wheel. As a result, I would believe that a color hemorrhage is being presented here, even if it is just to sacrifice the exchanged permanent...
...which I believe is a viability quandary. Why does this card not just say ‘destroy’? The only answer that I can come up with off of the top of my head is so that there can be synergy with the various sacrifice triggers that are in black, but that hardly feels worth pressing the issue for. (1/3) Balance: I believe that there is a specific balance reason that Wizards of the Coast did not print the low-hanging fruit that is a direct mana sink to energy output card. Simply put, energy is supposed to be more scarce as a resource than mana because it does not empty from the mana pool. Making such a card disrupts the balance of the energy economy as a result.
That aside, a 3/5 for 3BB is already a somewhat playable card at Common with no other rules text. Two abilities have subsequently added to this card as a result of the increase in rarity. The first ability is oddly specific; it does nothing without specific creature types that are otherwise not mentioned on the card. The second ability is under-costed, and it also should not be able to activate so freely at instant speed either.
I do not think that this card concept is necessarily broken, but I do think that it was developed without the concept of Kaladesh’s energy economy in mind.
Creativity - (0.5/3) Uniqueness: Gaining control of creatures and sacrificing them is admittedly more unique than outright destroying them, but only slightly. Everything else that this card does has been done before in the most recent set numerous times. (0.5/3) Flavor: I do not like this card name at all (partly because it is misspelled, see Quality). Not only is the idea of refurbishing not what I would call black, I would go as far to say that this card does not necessarily refurbish anything through its mechanics. The flavor that the mechanics of this card are trying to portray just read as muddled and off-kilter here.
On the other hand, I do like this card’s flavor text.
While the flavor text does explicitly mention Tezzeret (who is currently on Kaladesh), this card leaves enough reasonable doubt in my mind that I can only award half credit in regards to the second subchallenge. Tezzeret in this case could be on Esper or any other technological plane.
Polish - (0.5/3) Quality: The card name “Refurbusher” should be bolded (minus half a point). In addition, this card’s name is misspelled; it should be correctly spelled as ‘Refurbisher’ (minus half a point). The second line of rules text should be above the first line of rules text (they should switch places, minus half a point).
The second line of rules text on this card is also missing the energy counter reminder text (minus half a point). The energy counter reminder text should be after the energy symbol yet before a period, which is unfortunately missing from this line of rules text (minus half a point). Anyway, the reminder text in question should read as follows: (an energy counter) (2/2) Main Challenge: Main challenge met! (1.5/2) Subchallenges: Subchallenge 1 met!
Total: 10.5/25
Final thoughts: My apologies, but it seems as though this card may be in need of a bit of a refurbishing itself. I wish you the best of luck during future contests.
If your username has been bolded here, congratulations are in order — you have qualified for Round 2 of the October MCC! Best of luck!
If your username has not been bolded here, there is always next month. Thank you for participating; best of luck next month!
Gremlin Exterminator2WB
Creature - Human Artificer (U)
When Gremlin Exterminator enters the battlefield, create two 1/1 colorless Thopter artifact creature token with flying.
When an artifact creature you control dies, target creature an opponent controls gets -1/-1 until end of turn.
2/1 "Gremlins are like rats. Best way to kill 'em is with bait and poison."
Design (2/3) Appeal - Timmy doesn't care. Johnny can maybe do something with the tokens or the trigger, even though the reward isn't exactly something for him. Spike likes this.
(3/3) Elegance - Very easily understandable and the card makes perfect sense as a whole.
Development (3/3) Viability - White (or blue) for the flying tokens, black for the -1/-1. Makes sense. Rarity too.
(2/3) Balance - I expect this to be playable in a limited environment like Kaladesh, especially with artifact recursion as the white/black draft archetype. The second ability plays very well in that archetype. I can't see this in constructed unless some particular combo is found. I see no problems in casual or multiplayer.
Creativity (2/3) Uniqueness - Nothing new mechanically, but the flavor does feel original.
(2.5/3) Flavor - I like the idea behind this card's flavor very much, but I think it might have been executed even better. Gremlins are red on Kaladesh, so it makes sense to have their exterminator in red's enemy colors. Black is needed here though for mechanical reasons. The best execution of that idea would have been finding a way to make a Gremlin hate card in white/blue. The flavor text really helps making the mechanical need for black tie into the flavor, and I like it quite a lot. I also like how well the last ability works with the exterminator flavor: Gremlins destroy your machines, and when they do the exterminator kicks in and kills them.
Polish (1.5/3) Quality - In the first ability, "token" should be plural as two of them are created (-0.5). You can expect the second ability to trigger multiple times over the course of this creature's life on the battlefield, so it should start with "whenever" instead of "when" (-0.5). In the suggested formatting, flavor text comes before P/T (-0.5). I always mention the suggested formatting in my rounds' OPs.
(2/2) Main Challenge - Good.
(2/2) Subchallenges - Both met. The flavor text could actually be set on any plane that has gremlins, but we only ever saw two (Kaladesh, of course, and Phyrexia, both oldandnew) and they are quite characteristic of Kaladesh, so I'll accept it. Also, I don't think the Phyrexians would want to kill their gremlins, while the Kaladeshi definitely want to kill theirs.
Myra, Master Bombardier2WW
Legendary Creature - Dwarf Artificer {R}
Fabricate 2 2W, Sacrifice a Thopter or Servo: Myra, Master Bombardier deals damage equal to its power to target attacking creature. Myra’s defense plan was crucial to to Consul forces driving back the rebels. Ghirapur stood because of her out of the box thinking.
1/1
Design (2/3) Appeal - Timmy likes legendary creatures, but he doesn't care that much mechanically about this particular one. Johnny might use this as a sacrifice engine, but there should be better options for that. Spike likes fabricate and the skill required to get the maximum out of this card depending on the board state.
(3/3) Elegance - Very easily understandable and the card makes perfect sense as a whole.
Development (3/3) Viability - Everything is in color and rarity feels right.
(2.5/3) Balance - The interesting thing here is how you'd need both halves of fabricate at the same time to really get advantage of the activated ability. I think the end result would be that you'd always put +1/+1 counters on this relying on external sources of Servos or Thopters, like for example other fabricate cards. If there is a fabricate constructed deck, this is certainly playable there. In limited, it would have been playable anyway. I wonder if this could cost 3W, I think it could. I see no problem in casual or multiplayer.
Creativity (1/3) Uniqueness - Nothing particularly new neither mechanically nor flavorfully.
(2/3) Flavor - The flavor is very good in this card, both name and flavor text. The only remark I have to make is that on Kaladesh there are not "rebels" but "renegades". For example, Pia Nalaar is Renegade Prime, not Rebel Prime. That's not that small of a mistake on a flavor text meant to be set on Kaladesh.
Polish (2/3) Quality - Reminder text for fabricate should definitely be there: it's a new not evergreen keyword and MSE shows it would fit (-0.5). A typo in the flavor text ("to to" was probably meant to be "to the", -0.5).
Whirler Dreadnought6
Artifact - Vehicle {M}
Flying, trample
Thopters can't crew Whirler Dreadnought.
Whenever a creature crews Whirler Dreadnought, Whirler Dreadnought gets +1/+1 until end of turn.
Whenever Whirler Dreadnought attacks or blocks, create a 1/1 colorless Thopter artifact creature token with flying for each creature that crewed it this turn.
Crew 1 3/3
Design (1.5/3) Appeal - Timmy likes tokens and how this affects the board. Not much for Johnny here. Spike likes that this is a card that requires quite a lot of thought to use properly.
(0/3) Elegance - Way too wordy. It's not microtext, but the font does need to be quite small to fit it all in the text box, regardless of the inclusion of crew's reminder text, which absence also doesn't help here. The abilities are each fine by itself, but put them all together and you get a very complex card.
Development (3/3) Viability - There is nothing here that a colorless artifact can't do. Rarity is definitely right.
(1.5/3) Balance - I think the "Thopters can't crew this" ability is meant to be there for balance, as this card produces Thopter tokens itself, but I'm not sure it's actually necessary. You still need another creature to crew this for the first time. I'm also not sure the "for each creature that crewed this" is really necessary, I think the amount of Thopters you get could have been fixed (not necessarily at one, maybe more) and this card would have gained in elegance and would have been probably easier to develop and balance. It's probably playable in limited, especially as any color combination can use this effectively. There may be better options for constructed at six mana. The huge complexity of this card is a problem in casual.
Creativity (3/3) Uniqueness - There are multiple abilities here that do new things Kaladesh Vehicles don't do (yet, maybe there will be some advancement in AER), and that gains you full points here.
(1/3) Flavor - I don't exactly get what this is supposed to be flavorfully: a drivable assembly of Thopters? And why does this produce Thopters but Thopters can't drive this? I feel like I may be the one who's missing something, but it's not that easy to picture this in your mind with only the name, which I have nothing against by the way. Flavor text doesn't fit, that's for sure, so I think this is a card that would really benefit from seeing its intended art.
Polish (2/3) Quality - Putting reminder text of block keywords such as crew on mythics is not mandatory, but it's still advisable whenever possible. In this case, MSE shows me it is possible. The card as is is eight lines in the M15 frame with an already small font size. If you include reminder text for crew, it goes to ten lines (the maximum allowed) but the font size doesn't change significantly, so I honestly don't see why not to include it (-0.5). In the suggested formatting, P/T are not bolded (-0.5). I always mention the suggested formatting in my rounds' OPs.
(2/2) Main Challenge - Good.
(1/2) Subchallenges - Subchallenge 1 met. Subchallenge 2 is easy here: there is no flavor text at all, so it can't be set on Kaladesh.
Wingdealer3B
Creature - Aetherborn Artificer (U)
Fabricate 2 (When this creature enters the battlefield, put two +1/+1 counters on it or create two 1/1 colorless Servo artifact creature tokens.) t, Sacrifice an artifact: Create a 1/1 colorless Thopter artifact creature token with flying. "Caterpillar-shaped servos? Sure, he did it on purpose."
—Padeem, Consul of Innovation
1/1
Design (2.5/3) Appeal - Timmy doesn't care. Johnny can do a lot of things with the activated ability. Spike likes the skill required to get the maximum out of this card.
(3/3) Elegance - All good here.
Development (2/3) Viability - If this weren't an Aetherborn, I'd say this card should not be black, but either white or blue. It still doesn't break anything in black, and flavor makes this card make sense in black, but mechanically I'd see it much better in white (blue doesn't get fabricate in Kaladesh). Rarity looks fine.
(2/3) Balance - This looks very interesting, especially in limited: you either get a Hill Giant with a small upside or an engine card that fuels itself. I expect this to be playable in limited overall, but not in constructed unless some high-powered combo involving the activated ability is found. I see no problems in casual or multiplayer.
Creativity (2/3) Uniqueness - Nothing new mechanically. The flavor of Servo larvae turning into Thopters as they grow does feel original though.
(3/3) Flavor - The flavor is very good here, both the name but especially the flavor text: the Servos you fabricate are caterpillar-shaped because they will grow wings later and become Thopters. The only remark I can make is that I see no necessity for this to be an aetherborn, but that's not a problem. Aetherborn are black (a side of black that I like very much and that we don't get to see often) and not every creature of a race has to mechanically tie into that race.
Polish (2.5/3) Quality - The proper use of the long dash in the flavor text shows me you're not under the non-Latin characters restriction, so why not use that same long dash in the type line too? (-0.5) I am pedant, I know, but this is supposed to be the most formal contest after all.
Ghirapur SniperG
Creature - Elf Archer (U)
Reach t: Ghiapur Sniper deals 1 damage to each Thopter. After the controversial thopter spy infiltration, shop owners at the Elven Bridges decided to measures against potential price gouging attempts.
1/2
Design (1/3) Appeal - Timmy and Johnny do not care. Spike likes the low mana cost and the potential to kill a lot of tokens at once, but I can't see him being highly excited for this card.
(3/3) Elegance - All good here.
Development (3/3) Viability - What makes this card, and especially its activated ability, fine in green is that Thopters are both flying and artifacts, both things which green hates. Rarity looks fine.
(2/3) Balance - This card is playable in limited even though it shouldn't be a first pick unless Thopters are somehow prevalent in the format. I'd be very surprised to see this card getting played in any constructed format. No problems in casual or multiplayer.
Creativity (2/3) Uniqueness - Such effects are usually seen in red, and seeing them in green feels fresh and is allowed. Still, there is nothing particularly new on this card.
(2.5/3) Flavor - The flavor works, but I think it has been specifically built upon a typo which I will mention again in Quality: it's "Eleven Bridges", not "Elven Bridges". Unfortunately, a single missing "e" completely changes the meaning, but luckily, there are elves among the merchants there and that's why the flavor still works even when correcting the typo. I still can't ignore the typo though: I'll penalize for it in Quality, but a little here too as it is flavor relevant. You would have got full points here if that typo weren't there.
Polish (1.5/3) Quality - There are three typos, for a total of -1.5: "Ghiapur" is missing an "r" in the activated ability. In the flavor text, the location of the Ghirapur market is actually "Eleven Bridges", not "Elven". It's not a market where buyers and sellers are all of the Elf race, it's the number of bridges. Finally, I really think the "to" should be "for": "decided for measures against...".
Aerial Strike3WW
Sorcery (MR)
Create X 1/1 colorless Thopter artifact creature tokens with flying, where X is the number of creatures you control. Destroy all other creatures. "We will show the rebels that we are willing to make sacrifices for a greater cause too."
—Dovin Baan, authorizing the fumigation
Design (2.5/3) Appeal - Timmy likes how this affects the board, even though Wrath effects are not his thing. Still, this is a Wrath of the kind he likes the most: the one that still leaves you some creatures. This is something Spike also really likes. I don't see much for Johnny to do.
(3/3) Elegance - Easy enough to understand and makes sense as a whole.
Development (3/3) Viability - Everything is in color and I can see this at mythic, even though it could probably also just be a regular rare.
(3/3) Balance - It's interesting that you get as many Thopters as the creatures you had before the Wrath. In practice, you're killing all creatures your opponents control while turning all of yours into Thopters. That's probably fine at five mana, where you can get a Wrath effect plus a small upside. A must play in limited if you're in white, especially because of how well it can break stalls to your favor. I can easily see this in Standard too. I see no problems in casual and multiplayer. It's interesting how this gets better in multiplayer without mentioning it explicitly, as you get to disrupt multiple opponents' board states.
Creativity (2/3) Uniqueness - This card reminds me very much of Martial Coup or the few other Wrath effects that give you one or more creatures afterwards. It is a very nice variation in that vein, but it's not uncharted design space.
(2/3) Flavor - The flavor is very good in this card, especially the flavor text. The only remark I have to make is that on Kaladesh there are not "rebels" but "renegades". For example, Pia Nalaar is Renegade Prime, not Rebel Prime. That's not that small of a mistake on a flavor text meant to be set on Kaladesh and spoken by Dovin Baan.
Polish (3/3) Quality - All good. They are "renegades" and not "rebels", but that is a Flavor mistake. It would have been a Quality one if the word were spelt wrong, whichever it is.
Fodder Dealer3B
Creature - Dwarf Rogue (U)
When Fodder Dealer enters the battlefield, create two 1/1 colorless Thopter artifact creature tokens with flying. 1, Sacrifice a Thopter: Target creature gets -1/-1 until end of turn. The dwarves of Dhund are adept in more than artifice.
2/2
Design (2.5/3) Appeal - Timmy likes creating tokens. Johnny can use those tokens somehow even though I don't think it would be for this card's activated ability, which is exactly what Spike likes the most instead, together with the fact that you're getting four power for four mana.
(2/3) Elegance - Seeing a Kaladesh Dwarf in black hurts here (more on this later). The card is still very easy to understand though.
Development (2/3) Viability - Mechanically there is nothing wrong here, it just feels a little strange to see Thopter-making in black, but on Kaladesh that is definitely an acceptable bend. Flavorfully, dwarves are not black on Kaladesh (again, see later). Rarity looks fine.
(2/3) Balance - This is definitely playable in limited: it gives you four power over three different bodies with built-in removal. I can't see this card in any constructed format though. I can't see any problem in casual or multiplayer either.
Creativity (1.5/3) Uniqueness - Nothing new mechanically. The flavor of a black dwarf is very original, but I don't think it fits that well in Kaladesh. Maybe on some other plane.
(0.5/3) Flavor - I'm following everything in the Kaladesh story, but I can't honestly remember any dwarf in the Dhund. Probably in Gonti's black market above it there can be some, but the Dhund is specifically the prison tunnels underneath. Also, it's probably intentional for originality, but dwarves are primary white and secondary red on Kaladesh. A black dwarf doesn't make that much sense flavorfully to me. I could easily see this as a Human merchant in Gonti's market, even with the same name, which is fine, but a different flavor text.
Polish (2.5/3) Quality - As the last two Magic Story articles showed while telling about Chandra, Nissa, and Mrs. Pashiri's imprisonment in the Deadlock Trap and their liberation at the hands (or paws?) of myfavoriteplaneswalkercharacter, the word "Dhund" wants the article before. It's "the Dhund", as it's the specific name of the tunnel system and not the name of a city, zone or such. (-0.5)
MCC - Winner (6): Oct 2014, Apr Nov 2017, Jan 2018, Apr Jun 2019 || Host (15): Dec 2014, Apr Jul Aug Dec 2015, Mar Jul Aug Oct 2016, Feb Jul 2017, Jun Nov 2018, Feb Jul 2019 (last one here) || Judge (34): every month from Nov 2014 to Nov 2016 except Oct 2015, every month from Feb to Jul 2017 except Apr 2017, then Oct 2017, May Jun Nov 2018, Feb Jul 2019 (last one here) CCL - Winner (3): Jul 2016 (tied with Flatline), May 2017, Jul 2019 (last one here) || Host (5): Feb 2015, Mar Apr May Jun 2016 DCC - Winner (1): Mar 2015 (tied with Piar) || Host (3): May Oct 2015, Jan 2016
• The two public custom sets I've been part a part of the design team for: "Brotherhood of Ormos" - Blog post with all info - set thread - design skeleton / card list || "Extinctia: Homo Evanuit" - Blog post with all info - set thread - card list spreadsheet
• "The Lion's Lair", my article series about MTG and custom card design in particular. Latest article here. Here is the article index.Rather outdated by now, and based on the old MCC rubric, but I'm leaving this here for anybody that might be interested anyway.
• My only public attempt at being a writer: the story of my Leonin custom planeswalker Jeff Lionheart. (I have a very big one that I'm working on right now but that's private for now, and I don't know if I will ever actually publish it, and I also have ideas for multiple future ones, including one where I'm going to reprise Jeff.)
Design
(2.5/3) Appeal: Timmy would be elated with the prospect of creating large armies with this card. Closely related would be Johnny's equal enthusiasm in abusing the "leaves the battlefield" cluase. Spikes playing a more controlling deck might use this, but that relates to the second ability's capability of vast numbers of cheap creatures, but I will elaborate on this further in Balance.
(2.5/3) Elegance: The only real complication on this card is one of its main features, having "leaves the battlefield" rather than "is put into your graveyard". I had to read this card twice to catch that, and I feel that is a tripping point, but complexity often comes at the cost of elegance.
Development
(3/3) Viability: White is perfectly capable of creating vast armies, and this card also feels at home as a rare.
(2/3) Balance: The fact that the second ability doesn't specify nontoken artifacts I feel is intentional but unfortunately dangerous. As this means one of the Servos produced can be sacrificed back into the ability, basically equating to paying 1W to make a creature at instant speed. This seems to much in standard, but at four mana, too slow in modern.
Creativity
(1.5/3) Uniqueness: Token spawning white cards are really quite common. Admittedly this particular combination is new as far as I can tell.
(2.5/3) Flavor: The name, mechanics, and flavor text are quite synergistic. Again the only problem is the two Servos from one issue I previously mentioned.
Polish
(3/3) Quality: Spelling, grammar, and templating are all compliant.
(2/2) Main Challenge: Met
(2/2) Sub Challenges: Both met. Clearly Kaladesh-y. FINAL VERDICT - 21/25
Design
(1/3) Appeal: Johnny would certainly try to break this card somehow. But it neither provides the big splashy effects for a Timmy, and at four mana, and not having an immediate impact on the board I doubt Spikes would see much in this card either.
(2.5/3) Elegance: It seems straight forward enough: a way to make Thopters and a way to use Thopters. The deduction comes the word "may" which just seems like an opportunity for missed triggers.
Development
(3/3) Viability: I see no issues with this cards color identity or rarity.
(0/3) Balance: Hoo boy, there's a lot here. I know that WoTC produce dud rares, but this is a double white four-drop enchantment without board effects that requires outside spells that ALSO probably do little to nothing. Vehicles are present in Kaladesh, but the Thopters produced aren't going to be piloting any of the bigger ones. Also the appeal of a bunch of Thopter tokens is either to go wide or chumping to stall. The wide strategy seems out with the sacrifice cost of the second ability, and the fact that it can't hit artifact creatures seems critically damning in an artifact-heavy set and to stalling.
Creativity
(1/3) Uniqueness: The combination of abilities here are novel, but they don't combine to create something new. Creating tokens and tapping creatures are both old hat to white.
(2/3) Flavor: The name and F-text are cohesive, and the making Thopters that tap things certainly feels consul-y. We question is why you have to sacrifice the spy thopters to detain a rebel? And why is the renegade ok to explode-taze but their regulation-breaking construct isn't?
Polish
(3/3) Quality: No discrepancies found.
(2/2) Main Challenge: Met
(2/2) Sub Challenges: Both met. FINAL VERDICT - 16.5/25
Design
(1.5/3) Appeal: While flavorful this card isn't very punchy, so minimal marks for Timmy. Certainly Johnny would try and play all eight assembly-worker creature cards and the handful of manlands to try and get this to work at maximum capacity. Spike probably sees an overpriced card that requires to much effort to get operational.
(2.5/3) Elegance: There's a lot of text here, but the flavor mostly holds it together. Boiling down to two servos = one thopter, and one assembly-worker = two thopters.
Development
(3/3) Viability: Certainly colorless, and artifacts in particular are capable of churning out tokens, and for this level of complexity rare fits this card fine.
(.5/3) Balance: Unfortunately this card seems REALLY parasitic. As mentioned above the number of assembly-worker cards are vanishingly small, and servos are, so far, a Kaladesh unique thing. In standard or limited, this would require a VERY devoted deck to function.
Creativity
(1.5/3) Uniqueness: Token producing artifacts are very common in Magic's history. The novelty of machines building machines, and the odd-ball creature types are amusing, but ultimately the only real selling point.
(3/3) Flavor: Exactly what it says on the tin. A line of machines that assemble things. All the flavor components mesh.
Polish
(3/3) Quality: No discrepancies found.
(2/2) Main Challenge: Met.
(2/2) Sub Challenges: Both met. FINAL VERDICT - 19/25
Design
(1/3) Appeal: who is this for? Maybe a control Spike? This does make big armies for Timmy, but requires your opponent to have a solid target or maybe your nuke your own things in a combo-ish Johnny deck?
(3/3) Elegance: Blow up an artifact and turn the rubble into thopters. Plain and simple.
Development
(2/3) Viability: White is fine with blasting artifacts and making dudes, but this feels underwhelming to open as a rare. Removal at rare should be more versatile or permanent.
(1/3) Balance: This is a side board card at best, and the shear amount of mana needed to pump into it to hit anything worthwhile is disconcerting. At instant this still would be kind of overcosted, and even then there are better options for simple removal. The other thing is making tokens out of scrapped machinery feels flavorful, but in a single card also feels divided on what it wants to do.
Creativity
(2/3) Uniqueness: Making things after breaking things seems like a logical thing for white to do, but it really feels like two mechanics are just sitting next to each other rather than interacting meaningfully.
(3/3) Flavor: This card does what one would think it does. The name is a little... overdone? But overall it connects.
Polish
(2/3) Quality: You failed to specify that the created Thopters are colorless.
(2/2) Main Challenge: Met.
(2/2) Sub Chanllenges: Both met. FINAL VERDICT 17.5/25
Design
(2.5/3) Appeal: Big smashy ship and a lots of little thop-thop-thopters, Timmy approves. Johnny might like this as another crowning piece in a vehicle deck. Spike sadly does not see the beauty in this bulky mana intensive seige weapon.
(2/3) Elegance: Being a vehicle inherently means this cards slides toward the complicated side of the scale, and I'm afraid about memory issues with which thopters werre made by the Carrier and which weren't.
Development
(3/3) Viability: Both rarity and color appropiate.
(2.5) Balanece: The crew cost seems a little high, for its body, seeing as the thopter swarm has its own inherent cost. Still the inevitable if questionable vehicles deck would want this, and this has limited bomb written all over it. Creativity
(2/3) Uniqueness: Hangerback already kinda crowds in on this card, but I like this as proper skycarrier vehicle.
(2.5/3) Flavor: While vehicles are certainly kaladesh only, as of writing, the flavor text seems... generic, and as such incurs a half point deduction.
Polish
(2/3) Quality: The token need only be "tapped and attacking", "that are" is unnecessary.
(2/2) Main Challenge: Met.
(1.5/2) Sub Challenges: The quote from Chandra could really be from any plane where *****es about to get real, but I just imagine her under a looming shadow of mechanical death, looking up in frustration. The rest of the card holds that up. FINAL VERDICT - 20/25
Design
(2/3) Appeal: While too small for a Timmy, Johnny would snatch this up a combo enabler, and its to be discussed power level appeal to Spike.
(2/3) Elgance: Search effects are inherently inelegant, and the exile cost seems unnecessary, because I can scarcely imagine NOT doing the searching.
Development
(2/3) Viability: Artifacts can fly and creature searching on a body typically requires rare these days.
(0/3) Balance: No. You do not make a 2/2 flyer with A MASSIVE UPSIDE for TWO generic mana. This is busted seven ways to a sunday social, and the fact that it chain with itself is sickening.
Creativity
(1.5/3) Uniqueness: A creature with another creature inside a la clone shell isn't really new territory.
(2/3) Flavor: Ok I get that its a piloted thopter... but I feel it should be a vehicle then. Maybe if it only created a servo on death?
Polish
(1.5/3) Quality: This card searches your library but does not have a shuffle clause. This only compounds its borkenness.
(2/2) Main Challenge: Met.
(2/2) Sub Challenges: Both met. FINAL VERDICT - 15/25
Design
(2.5/3) Appeal: This card has just enough tilt to the casting player that I can see Spike playing this. Johnny too, finding a way to break its symmetry MORE.
(3/3) Elegance: It is a thopter vending machine. WHAT MORE COULD I ASK FOR? At first I was confused by the second ability, but the flavor text made me realize that its a renegade made vending machine, so it has hidden tricks. Wonderous.
Development
(3/3) Viability: Artifacts can make more artifacts, and the only Rare could do it so cheaply.
(3/3) Balance: At two mana its cheap enough to slide under the "do nothing" barrier, but the symmetry keeps the borkenness hammer at bay as well.
Creativity
(3/3) Uniqueness: I wracked my brain trying to think of another vending-machine-esque card, but I really couldn't think of one. This fact that it dispense indiscriminately is what makes it so neat.
(3/3) Flavor: As mentioned before hand: the F text really pulls the second ability together, and the name and mechanics sync up perfectly.
Polish
(2/3) Quality: The word "colorless" should come after the "1/1".
(2/2) Main Challenge: Met.
(2/2) Sub Challenges: Both met. FINAL VERDICT - 23.5/25
1. 23.5 Clockwork Gamer
2. 21 Folza
3. 20.5 P E
4. 19 Soramaro
5. 18 Jimmy Groove
6. 16.5 Sperlman
7. 15 Freyleyes
Thanks, Fair Judges for your time and wise judgments. Contestants, get ready for the second exhibition round, starting in a few minutes.
—Head Judge Tezzeret
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
MCC - Winner (6): Oct 2014, Apr Nov 2017, Jan 2018, Apr Jun 2019 || Host (15): Dec 2014, Apr Jul Aug Dec 2015, Mar Jul Aug Oct 2016, Feb Jul 2017, Jun Nov 2018, Feb Jul 2019 (last one here) || Judge (34): every month from Nov 2014 to Nov 2016 except Oct 2015, every month from Feb to Jul 2017 except Apr 2017, then Oct 2017, May Jun Nov 2018, Feb Jul 2019 (last one here) CCL - Winner (3): Jul 2016 (tied with Flatline), May 2017, Jul 2019 (last one here) || Host (5): Feb 2015, Mar Apr May Jun 2016 DCC - Winner (1): Mar 2015 (tied with Piar) || Host (3): May Oct 2015, Jan 2016
• The two public custom sets I've been part a part of the design team for: "Brotherhood of Ormos" - Blog post with all info - set thread - design skeleton / card list || "Extinctia: Homo Evanuit" - Blog post with all info - set thread - card list spreadsheet
• "The Lion's Lair", my article series about MTG and custom card design in particular. Latest article here. Here is the article index.Rather outdated by now, and based on the old MCC rubric, but I'm leaving this here for anybody that might be interested anyway.
• My only public attempt at being a writer: the story of my Leonin custom planeswalker Jeff Lionheart. (I have a very big one that I'm working on right now but that's private for now, and I don't know if I will ever actually publish it, and I also have ideas for multiple future ones, including one where I'm going to reprise Jeff.)
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Artifact - Vehicle {M}
Flying, trample
Thopters can't crew Whirler Dreadnought.
Whenever a creature crews Whirler Dreadnought, Whirler Dreadnought gets +1/+1 until end of turn.
Whenever Whirler Dreadnought attacks or blocks, create a 1/1 colorless Thopter artifact creature token with flying for each creature that crewed it this turn.
Crew 1
3/3
Emille, Seven-Sting Dancer Shalin Nariya
Artifact (Rare)
3: Create a colorless 1/1 Thopter artifact creature token with flying. Any player may activate this ability but only as a sorcery.
B,T : Destroy target Thopter creature.
''Leave no gear unchecked. Even a harmless vending machine can turn out to be a rebel contraption''
-Consulate guard captain
I'm sure you can think of something by yourself.
Creature - Elf Artificer (Rare)
Tap two untapped Artificers you control: Create a 1/1 colorless Thopter artifact creature token with flying.
Tap two untapped Thopters you control: Draw a card and reveal it. If it isn't a land card, discard it.
"Each day, my team and I send them flying to the sky in hope that they will paint the whole Fair with thousands of colourful dreams."
2/2
Artifact Creature - Thopter (U)
Flying, prowess
When Tank Drop Skirmisher dies, create a 3/4 Vehicle artifact token with vigilance and crew 1.
Depala's new air fleet held payloads not even the most jaded Consulate guard was expecting.
1/2
I̟̥͍̠ͅn̩͉̣͍̬͚ͅ ̬̬͖t̯̹̞̺͖͓̯̤h̘͍̬e͙̯͈̖̼̮ ̭̬f̺̲̲̪i͙͉̟̩̰r̪̝͚͈̝̥͍̝̲s̼̻͇̘̳͔ͅt̲̺̳̗̜̪̙ ̳̺̥̻͚̗ͅm̜̜̟̰͈͓͎͇o̝̖̮̝͇m̯̻̞̼̫̗͓̤e̩̯̬̮̩n͎̱̪̲̹͖t͇̖s̰̮ͅ,̤̲͙̻̭̻̯̹̰ ̖t̫̙̺̯͖͚̯ͅh͙̯̦̳̗̰̟e͖̪͉̼̯ ̪͕g̞̣͔a̗̦t̬̬͓͙̫̖̭̻e̩̻̯ ̜̖̦̖̤̭͙̬t̞̹̥̪͎͉ͅo͕͚͍͇̲͇͓̺ ̭̬͙͈̣̻t͈͍͙͓̫̖͙̩h̪̬̖̙e̗͈ ̗̬̟̞̺̤͉̯ͅa̦̯͚̙̜̮f͉͙̲̣̞̼t̪̤̞̣͚e̲͉̳̥r͇̪̙͚͓l̥̞̞͎̹̯̹ͅi͓̬f̮̥̬̞͈ͅe͎ ̟̩̤̳̠̯̩̯o̮̘̲p̟͚̣̞͉͓e͍̩̣n͔̼͕͚̜e̬̱d̼̘͎̖̹͍̮̠,͖̺̭̱̮ ̣̲͖̬̪̭̥a̪͚n̟̲̝̤̤̞̗d̘̱̗͇̮͕̳͕͔ ͖̞͉͎t̹̙͎h̰̱͉̗e̪̞̱̝̹̩ͅ ̠̱̩̭̦p̯̙e͓o̳͚̰̯̺̱̰͔̘p̬͎̱̣̼̩͇l̗̟̖͚̠e̱͉͔̱̦̬̟̙ ̖͚̪͔̼̦w̺̖̤̱e͖̗̻̦͓̖̘̜r̭̥e͔̹̫̱͕̦̰͕ ̗͔̠p̠̗͍͍̱̳̠r̰͔͎̰o͉̥͓̰͚̥s̟͚̹̱͔̣t͉̙̳̖͖̪̮r̥̘̥͙̹a͉̟̫̟̳̠̟̭t͈̜̰͈͎e̞̣̭̲̬ ͚̗̯̟͙i͍͖̰̘̦͖͉ṇ̮̻̯̦̲̩͍ ̦̮͚̫̤t͉͖̫͕ͅͅh͙̮̻̘̣̮̼e͕̺ ͙l͕̠͎̰̥i̲͓͉̲g̫̳̟͈͇̖h̠̦̖t͓̯͎̗ ̳̪̘̟̙̩̦o̫̲f̙͔̰̙̠ ̹̪̗͇̯t͖̼̼͉͖̬h̹͇̩e͚̖̺̤͉̹͕̪ ͚͓̭̝̺G͎̗̯̩o̫̯̮̟̮̳̘d̜̲͙̠-̩̳̯̲̗̜P̹̘̥͉̝h͍͈̗̖̝ͅa͍̗̮̼̗r̜̖͇̙̺a̭̺͔̞̳͈o̪̣͓̯̬͙̯̰̗h̖̦͈̥̯͔.͇̣̙̝
Artifact (R)
At the beginning of your upkeep create a 1/1 colorless Thopter artifact creature token with flying for each you have.
“On this occasion, Ghirapur skies are filled with the closest perfect machines that will ever exist.”
— Dovin Baan
Art by
PD. if any know how is the code to put a E symbol and/or how intall on mse, please send me a PM.
Artifact Creature - Thopter (rare)
Flying
Other thopters you control have +1/+0.
Whenever a thopter you control dies, you may pay E to deal one damage to target creature.
"The lengths the consulate is taking to protect the fair is unnerving."
-Mitul, to Rashmi
1/2
Creature - Human Rogue Artificer (Rare)
Pay : Gain control of target Servo or Thopter creature and sacrifice it. Create a 1/1 colorless Thopter artifact creature token with flying.
2B: You get
Knowing how Tezzeret maintains security has never made anyone feel secure.
3/5
By Consulate's decree, the judging assignments are as follows.
Head Judge Tezzeret (bravelion83) will have the honor to judge himself the following contestants' inventions:
Flintlock
PsyOp
RaikouRider
Raptorchan
scarbo
StonerOfKruphix
Voxzorz
Fair Judge Moss_Elemental will judge the inventions by the following contestants:
admirableadmiral
glurman
IcariiFA
Legend
Necarg
netn10
void_nothing
Fair Judge Blydden will judge the inventions by the following contestants:
Diabolical SOUND
Flatline
Forestsguy
mirrodin71
Tesco(black)lotus
Vertain
Your BFF
Fair Judge Indighost will judge the inventions by the following contestants:
Clockwork Gamer
Folza
Freyleyes
Jimmy Groove
P E
soramaro
sperlman
The Consulate reminds everyone that the top 4 inventors in each group will advance to the second round of exhibitions, and kindly reminds Fair Judges to be respectful of the deadline or ask a time extension privately should they need it.
MCC - Winner (6): Oct 2014, Apr Nov 2017, Jan 2018, Apr Jun 2019 || Host (15): Dec 2014, Apr Jul Aug Dec 2015, Mar Jul Aug Oct 2016, Feb Jul 2017, Jun Nov 2018, Feb Jul 2019 (last one here) || Judge (34): every month from Nov 2014 to Nov 2016 except Oct 2015, every month from Feb to Jul 2017 except Apr 2017, then Oct 2017, May Jun Nov 2018, Feb Jul 2019 (last one here)
CCL - Winner (3): Jul 2016 (tied with Flatline), May 2017, Jul 2019 (last one here) || Host (5): Feb 2015, Mar Apr May Jun 2016
DCC - Winner (1): Mar 2015 (tied with Piar) || Host (3): May Oct 2015, Jan 2016
• The two public custom sets I've been part a part of the design team for:
"Brotherhood of Ormos" - Blog post with all info - set thread - design skeleton / card list || "Extinctia: Homo Evanuit" - Blog post with all info - set thread - card list spreadsheet
• "The Lion's Lair", my article series about MTG and custom card design in particular. Latest article here. Here is the article index. Rather outdated by now, and based on the old MCC rubric, but I'm leaving this here for anybody that might be interested anyway.
• My only public attempt at being a writer: the story of my Leonin custom planeswalker Jeff Lionheart. (I have a very big one that I'm working on right now but that's private for now, and I don't know if I will ever actually publish it, and I also have ideas for multiple future ones, including one where I'm going to reprise Jeff.)
(1.5/3) Appeal: Johnny might find a combo for this. Timmy likes big effects, but would like to get something bigger than 1/1 Thopters.
(3/3) Elegance: No problems here.
Development -
(2/3) Viability: I'm assuming you accidentally left out the part that Thopters have flying, so I'm only going to penalize you in Quality only. Also, I can see this as just rare.
(2/3) Balance: I'm more like to play this when I have no other artifacts or I have artifacts that trigger when they leave the battlefield.
Creativity -
(3/3) Uniqueness: I can't find any other creature like this.
(3/3) Flavor: I could see that happening.
Polish -
(2/3) Quality: See Viability.
(2/2) Main Challenge: Met.
(2/2) Subchallenges: Both met.
Total: 20.5/25
(2/3) Appeal: Johnny sees combo potential. Timmy likes the 6/6 body.
(3/3) Elegance: No problems here.
Development -
(3/3) Viability: No problems here.
(2/3) Balance: A 4/4 for six mana seems reasonable, since Stone Golem costs 1 less and is vanilla. Still, I can't help but think it could be better, like maybe you get your thopters when it dies.
Creativity -
(2/3) Uniqueness: There are creatures that sacrifice itself to give you one or more tokens, so this is not unique.
(2/3) Flavor: Not too crazy about the name.
Polish -
(3/3) Quality: Looks good.
(2/2) Main Challenge: Met.
(2/2) Subchallenges: Both met.
Total: 22/25
(1.5/3) Appeal: Johnny could find lots of ideas. Timmy is not impressed. Spike would like it if it cost less.
(3/3) Elegance: No problems here.
Development -
(2/3) Viability: I can see this as mythic rare.
(2/3) Balance: Instead of fabricate 2, it should be fabricate 1. It's irritating enough that's it almost impossible to kill.
Creativity -
(2/3) Uniqueness: Not much here that hasn't been done before.
(3/3) Flavor: No problems here.
Polish -
(2/3) Quality: Card name is different in the rules text.
(2/2) Main Challenge: Met.
(2/2) Subchallenges: Both met.
Total: 20.5/25
(0.5/3) Appeal: Spike might like it give another creature flying. Johnny and Timmy are underwhelmed.
(3/3) Elegance: No problems here.
Development -
(3/3) Viability: No problems here.
(2/3) Balance: Honestly, you could have given this a 1 power. Sure, this would force an increase in either mana cost or rarity, but if you want someone to attack with this, you need a reason.
Creativity -
(1/3) Uniqueness: It's an Ornithopter with Trained Condor's ability, with a little extra.
(3/3) Flavor: No problems here.
Polish -
(1/3) Quality: The p/t is before the card text. Also, it should be “When CARDNAME enters the battlefield...”
(2/2) Main Challenge: Met
(2/2) Subchallenges: Both met.
Total: 18.5/25
(1/3) Appeal: Johnny might like it. Timmy and Spike are underwhelmed.
(3/3) Elegance: No problems here.
Development -
(2/3) Viability: While the flavour fits, I feel this should be white or blue, or both.
(2/3) Balance: Right now, there are three cards in Kaladesh that can create Servo tokens multiple times, two of which forces you into a second colour. Mana cost is reasonable. You just can't a decent enough deck for this right now.
Creativity -
(3/3) Uniqueness: Replacing one type of creature token with another is new.
(3/3) Flavor: No problems here.
Polish -
(3/3) Quality: It's good.
(2/2) Main Challenge: Met.
(2/2) Subchallenges: Both met.
Total: 21/25
(2/3) Appeal: Johnny might find a combo for this. Timmy is yawning. Spike might like the last activated ability.
(3/3) Elegance: No problems here.
Development -
(2/3) Viability: I think this should be green and blue, since white makes Servo tokens and blue makes Thopters... for now.
(2/3) Balance: You need another Artificer for this to be useful, and I never cared about the second ability when it was on Sindbad. I think this could have been just a 2-drop.
Creativity -
(2/3) Uniqueness: It has the abilities of both Uktabi Kong (sort of) and Fa'adiyah Seer (sort of)
(3/3) Flavor: It's okay.
Polish -
(3/3) Quality: Looks good.
(2/2) Main Challenge: Met.
(2/2) Subchallenges: Both met.
Total: 21/25
(1.5/3) Appeal: Timmy is not impressed with the size of the Thopter or the Vehicle. Johnny sees combo potential. Spike might play with it.
(3/3) Elegance: No problems here.
Development -
(3/3) Viability: No problems here.
(2/3) Balance: For uncommon, I think this could cost 1 less to cast. Other than that, I think this is okay.
Creativity -
(3/3) Uniqueness: Will we see Vehicle tokens in the next set? Who knows?
(3/3) Flavor: No problems here.
Polish -
(2/3) Quality: They are most likely to add the reminder text for prowess.
(2/2) Main Challenge: Met
(2/2) Subchallenges: Both met.
Total: 21.5/25
glurman: 22
IcariiFA: 20.5
Legend: 18.5
Necarg: 21
netn10: 21
void_nothing: 21.5
As always, no complaints and it's not final until the deadline has passed. I'll just say that quality matters... a lot.
(1.5/3) Appeal: This card is just too small to interest Timmy.
There is some combo potential with this card in regards to other cards of its own type for Johnny, but nothing game winning or necessarily worth building around in a particularly inventive way.
Spike loves under-costed cards such as this one. This card is appealing enough to run in an aggressive deck all on its own.
(1.5/3) Elegance: The most problematic inelegance with this card is that the damage dealing triggered ability (the last line of rules text) lacks a source. Does the card “Assault Thopter” deal the damage, or does the dying thopter deal the damage, or...? This has not been explicitly spelled out by the rules text, and hence it is a gaffe in regards to this criterion.
Development -
(2/3) Viability: This card is at the appropriate rarity. This card is also just fine as colorless in my honest opinion.
However, this card suffers from a rules break of not specifying the source of the damage being dealt according to its third line of rules text. It also suffers from another viability problem in that it uses energy yet does not provide any on its own. Every card in Kaladesh that uses energy also provides energy to its controller somehow. Only a few cards in Kaladesh provide energy without a way of using it; no cards in Kaladesh use energy without a way of also providing it.
(1.5/3) Balance: A 1/2 flyer for 2 at common is just fine in terms of balance. However, this card has two extra abilities. I would cost it at 3 since its body is really underwhelming for its effects. The main saving grace that prevents this submission from having a bad score in this particular criterion is that it is only a 1/2 flyer for 2 unless it is built around with other thopters and energy sources. Nonetheless, I would not call it a balanced card.
Creativity -
(1/3) Uniqueness: We see lords (creatures that buff other creatures of certain types) every set; this card is hardly different unfortunately.
(2/3) Flavor: I like the name myself, even if it is a little plain (I am surprised that it was not already taken). The sentence of flavor text of this card is also grammatically incorrect; I would personally rewrite it as follows: “The lengths that the consulate is taking to protect the fair are unnerving.”
Nevertheless, this card is most certainly Kaladeshi.
Polish -
(0/3) Quality: This card’s name “Assault Thopter” should be bolded (minus half a point). There are six unnecessary line breaks in the text of this card (minus half a point each). Both instances of “thopter” in this card’s rules text need to be capitalized (minus half a point each). The word “have” in this card’s rules text should be replaced with ‘get’ (minus half a point). The number “one” in this card’s rules text should instead be the numeral ‘1’ (minus half a point). There is an unnecessary space between the energy symbol and the word ‘to’ in this card’s rules text (yes I noticed that, minus half a point). Finally, the short dash next to the name “Mitul” should instead be a long dash ‘—’.
Finally, the last line of rules text on this card should read “Whenever a Thopter you control dies, you may pay E. If you do, <SOURCE> deals 1 damage to target creature.” (minus one and a half points for a necessary rewrite of a line of rules text)
(2/2) Main Challenge: Main challenge met!
(2/2) Subchallenges: Both subchallenges met!
Total: 13.5/25
Final thoughts: The concept behind this card is rather interesting, even if the actual execution has left a lot to be desired. Do not be discouraged; be encouraged to keep working on that very execution!
(1/3) Appeal: Timmy is bored by this rather small card.
Likewise, Johnny is also bored by this simplistic card that does not realistically have any worthwhile combo potential.
However, Spike is very appealed to by this sort of efficient and self-sufficient yet synergistic card. It may not be especially flashy, but it does not have to be by any means for Spikes such as myself.
(3/3) Elegance: Expertly elegant.
Development -
(3/3) Viability: Rare is indeed the exact rarity for this card. It is also certainly White on the color wheel.
(2.5/3) Balance: This card is almost a little too pushed in my honest opinion. Almost.
I do like this card, though. If I were developing this design, I would likely attempt to balance it by either costing the triggered ability at EE instead of just E OR I would have the card create a servo instead of a thopter. Just a minor tweak and little else most likely.
Creativity -
(1.5/3) Uniqueness: We have already seen Kaladeshi creatures that use up their energy counters whenever they attack (see Aetherstorm Roc, the Thriving creature cycle, et cetera). However, this is not a half bad way to approach the trigger and cost in regards to this particular criterion.
(3/3) Flavor: My inner Vorthos is pleased.
This flavor text is surely Kaladeshi.
Polish -
(2.5/3) Quality: Almost perfect. The only qualitative error that is present on this card is the lack of energy counter reminder text (minus half a point). In this case, the following reminder text is necessary after the energy symbols and before the period: (two energy counters)
(2/2) Main Challenge: Main challenge met!
(2/2) Subchallenges: Both subchallenges met!
Total: 20.5/25
Final thoughts: Do you think the peoples of Kaladesh have their take-out food delivered to them by mounting it onto the backs of servos or by hauling it underneath the chasses of thopters?
Sorry, that was a bit random, I know.
(2/3) Appeal: Timmy is unexcited by this card.
Johnny would play this for sure in a deck full of thopters, as this card is surely worth building around.
Spike would splash black for this in almost any deck with a high enough curve.
(3/3) Elegance: Exquisitely elegant.
Development -
(2/3) Viability: This card is definitely black on the color wheel. This card also definitely qualifies as a mythic.
However, this submission presents what I would call a severe viability issue. Instant speed discard is just not something that is printed on official Magic: The Gathering cards anymore; this is especially true in the case of repeatable instant speed discard.
(0/3) Balance: Repeatable instant speed discard at such a low mana cost is not only not fun (good luck playing this out in casual), it is also really debilitating to have to play against. The second ability simply costs far too little on this card. Sacrificing multiple thopters (thus being unable to reuse them on a following turn), and only at sorcery speed, would likely improve this card’s balance score significantly. Even lowering this card’s high toughness would help. This card is just pushed to the point of being oppressively and brokenly unbalanced as-is; even the fact that this card likely cannot entirely empty your opponent’s hand is no saving grace here.
Creativity -
(1.5/3) Uniqueness: Discarding cards is something that black does all the time in basically every set. Involving thopters in that regard is relatively unique by comparison.
(2.5/3) Flavor: As a Vorthos myself, I see that all of this flavor in both name and text does come together with an interesting presentation. Nonetheless, the whole of the card could really benefit from some polish, and the flavor text is no exception; a ‘the’ before both “consulate” and “renegades” would be a marked improvement in being able to read this card’s flavor text that much better.
I see no problems with this card’s flavor meeting the second subchallenge.
Polish -
(0/3) Quality: A space is missing between the card’s name and the mana cost (minus half a point). There is an unnecessary break between the type line and the first line of rules text (minus half a point). The word “create” in the first line of rules text should also be capitalized (minus half a point). Also, the word “thopter” in the second line of rules text should be capitalized (minus half a point).
Lastly, in regards to the instance of “non-land, non-creature”; it should instead be ‘noncreature, nonland’ (minus one and a half points; both hyphens are unnecessary, and the order of the words should be reversed) {See Duress, Mardu Charm, Narset Transcendent, Waste Not, et cetera.}
(2/2) Main Challenge: Main challenge met!
(2/2) Subchallenges: Both subchallenges met!
Total: 15/25
Final thoughts: This card as-is truly seems nightmarish to attempt to play against in any meaningful way. I am not entirely sure if that was the point or not.
(3/3) Appeal: This card delivers for Tammy as long as she builds her deck with this energy counter synergy in mind. It is a little bit of a downer that she has to save up the energy counters rather than spend them right anyway, but that is comparatively minor.
For Jenny, the sky is the limit for building up a ridiculous number of energy counters in order to end the game with a similarly ludicrous number of thopters.
Energy counters can be reliably enough obtained, even in Limited, such that Spike would consider this in any deck that could support it.
(3/3) Elegance: Energetically elegant.
Development -
(1.5/3) Viability: This card works decently well as colorless. However, this card has a power level that potentially justifies it being mythic rare in regards to rarity instead of only rare.
This card also suffers from other severe viability issues. If you have zero energy counters, this card does literally nothing. Every card printed in Kaladesh that utilizes energy also has a way to attain it for its controller. This has none such method. This card also does not spend energy, something that cards in Kaladesh do with the acquired counters. This counterintuitively encourages the saving up of energy, which in my opinion is not ideal gameplay by contrast.
(0/3) Balance: This card also creates a ludicrous amount of flying thopter tokens every turn until it is removed by the opponent, assuming that this card is in the intended deck. There is no limit to the amount of thopters that could be created here, such there is no limit to the amount of energy that a player can store up. I would not be surprised if this card could consistently create a double digit number of 1/1 flyers every single upkeep in a dedicated deck. For only an initial cost of 6, the repeatable returns on this one-time investment are simply to the point of just being outright silly. Creating a 1/1 thopter normally costs EEE after all, and this card does not even spend energy counters. If it created servos instead, that would be a significant downgrade, and hence a step in the right direction towards improving this card. Anything to reduce its already sky-high power level would be appreciable.
Creativity -
(1/3) Uniqueness: Cards that create tokens at the beginning of upkeeps have been thoroughly done before. Involving energy does not add much to this card’s score for this criterion in that regard.
(2/3) Flavor: I love the name (and I am surprised that it has not already been officially taken). The flavor text is ungrammatical enough that it leaves something to be desired, however.
This card doubtlessly tastes like Kaladesh.
Polish -
(1.5/3) Quality: A comma is missing between the words “upkeep” and “create” (minus half a point; the trigger and the effect of a triggered ability are always separated by a comma). There is an unnecessary space in the flavor text between the long dash and Dovin Baan’s name (minus half a point).
This card is also missing the energy counter reminder text (minus half a point). It should be present after the energy symbol and before ‘you’ and read as follows: (energy counters)
(2/2) Main Challenge: Main challenge met!
(2/2) Subchallenges: Both subchallenges met!
Total: 16/25
Final thoughts: This card would be a lot more interesting if it could instead accrue and spend energy counters as an engine all on its own to create a fleet of thopters with a bit more gameplay attached to it as a result. Keep up the inspired designs!
(1/3) Appeal: I believe that Timmy would awkwardly find this card to be boring.
Johnny can use this as a cheap tutor that could perhaps also fulfill some other niches. It is not worth building around, however.
Spike sees this card as a 2/1 flyer for three mana that comes with basically a one-time filter. This card makes an okay impression in this way to her and little else.
(1/3) Elegance: This card has an inelegance similar to that of the infamous problem of Oblivion Ring when compared to Banishing Light.
It would be healthier for this card if the first instance of the word “when” was replaced with the word ‘as’. It is also weird that the enters the battlefield effect is optional, despite the fact that the subsequent leaves the battlefield effect is not. It could also be misconstrued that the library shuffling is optional in this rules text, even when it is not regardless.
Development -
(2/3) Viability: This card fits fine at a rarity of rare. This card is also likely fine to exist as colorless.
Regrettably, there is a severe viability concern with this card; it has, according to MSE 2 (Magic Set Editor 2) at least, a total of 10 lines of text. That is just too many lines of text to attempt to fit on a card according to modern official Magic: The Gathering standards. My apologies.
(2.5/3) Balance: So, it is a 2/1 flyer, which can be costed at 3 at common with a minor downside. A 2/1 flyer for 3 has no such downside at uncommon. So, it is easy enough to assume that, at rare at least, a 2/1 flyer for 3 at rare can have a minor upside such as the one presented here, especially in an artifact block such as Kaladesh.
The main balance quandary with this card is its inherent awkwardness that comes with both of its triggers unable to consistently work in harmony. It can potentially be removed from the battlefield before its enters-the-battlefield effect is allowed to timely resolve, meaning that one would have to discard a card without actually being able to filter as a result. Admittedly, this actually may help this card’s balance score more than it hurts it in this specific case since it is already a nicely stated flyer for only a generic mana cost.
Creativity -
(1.5/3) Uniqueness: I would call the way that this card filters as “interesting” but I would not call it necessarily unique.
(2.5/3) Flavor: This has a neat aesthetic tie to Kaladesh’s black market (see Night Market Lookout), which definitely helps this card’s score for this specific criterion. The flavor text reads as a little generic and uninspired; that very well could be Gonti’s catchphrase that they say multiple times a night. The effect of the card most certainly fits together with the flavor, however.
Gonti, Lord of Luxury is a non-planeswalker character that exists within Kaladesh; therefore, this card has no vagueness when it comes to fully meeting the second subchallenge.
Polish -
(1/3) Quality: The word “creature” should be capitalized in the type line (minus half a point). There is also an unnecessary space between the short dash (which should be a long dash ‘—’) and Gonti’s name and title (minus half a point). The power/toughness line should be below the line of flavor text and not above them (minus half a point). Lastly, Gonti, Lord of Luxury’s name has been erroneously misspelled as “Donti” on this card’s flavor text (minus half a point).
(2/2) Main Challenge: Main challenge met!
(2/2) Subchallenges: Both subchallenges met!
Total: 15.5/25
Final thought: This card likely does not actually need eight lines of rules text to do what it is essentially trying to do in practice.
(3/3) Appeal: This card can potentially accrue a lot of energy. A lot of it. Timmy can use that energy to do big things with energy creatures; Johnny can use that energy to fuel his machinations; Spike can also put that energy to good use. The extra upsides that come with this card (a decent body for generic mana and a way to potentially use up all that energy) make this card quite appealing indeed.
(2/3) Elegance: This card tries to do a lot; I argue that it attempts to do so unnecessarily. In game design, you want to acquire the most amount of depth for the least amount of complexity. This card’s rules text could perhaps be separated in order to create two different or potentially even three different cards. Trying to bundle them all of these lines of rules text together into one somewhat disjointed card only hurts this card’s elegance score, as the effects of this card can be a lot to take in all at once.
Development -
(1.5/3) Viability: This card can theoretically exist as colorless since both energy counters and fabricate are universal mechanics in Kaladesh. This card is also possibly doable at rare, but it honestly does enough to the point where I would consider the possibility of it existing as mythic rare instead.
Unfortunately, there is a severe viability problem with this card; it has, according to MSE 2 (Magic Set Editor 2) at least, a total of 10 lines of text. That is simply way too much text to attempt to fit on a card according to today’s official Magic: The Gathering standards. My apologies.
(0/3) Balance: As bravelion83 has written at least once, everyone loves a broken card!
This card is too pushed for too little cost, especially when all of that mana is generic. A 3/5 artifact creature for 5 with no rules text is considered to be perfectly acceptable at common. Pushing the rarity to rare does not simply mean that one can just simply add all of these extra abilities and call it a day. Being able to repeatedly accrue this much energy for so little mana (again, all of it generic) just disregards the very concept of the energy economy that Kaladesh has built up, especially at instant speed. To provide perspective, see Fabrication Module which only adds a single energy counter for 4 and a tap instead of simply 2.
This is contrastingly minor, but I would also add a mana cost of to the third line of rules text. Since this card is able to generate so much energy, the additional idea that it could possibly somehow spend all of that energy on a thopter army with enough servos is also troubling.
Creativity -
(2/3) Uniqueness: The power to energy effect of this card is the most unique and interesting of the bunch to the point of this submission earning an above-average score for this criterion.
(2/3) Flavor: I really like this card name. This card’s flavor text is comparatively less likeable; problematically, the flavor text does not necessarily synergize with the mechanics, as this card is actually quite self-sufficient in practice.
Dovin Baan is a planeswalker that is native to Kaladesh, so I believe that this card’s flavor meets the second subchallenge with adequacy.
Polish -
(1.5/3) Quality: The word ‘dependence’ has been misspelled as “dependance” in the flavor text (minus half a point). The name “Dovin Baan” requires its own second line of flavor text (minus half a point); there should also be no space between the dash (which should also be a long dash ‘—’ instead of a short dash) and the aforementioned name (minus half a point).
(2/2) Main Challenge: Main challenge met!
(2/2) Subchallenges: Both subchallenges met!
Total: 16/25
Final thought: I really wanted to like this card more than I actually do in all honesty.
(1.5/3) Appeal: This card is somewhat big and exciting for Tammy but it is not necessarily worth being overly hyped about.
Jenny likes the idea of being able to repeatedly accrue energy counters through merely the expenditure of mana.
Spike appreciates the efficiency of this card as a mana sink, even if she does not necessarily care for how this card actually spends its energy counters.
(2/3) Elegance: The primary inelegance that this card suffers involves the awkwardness of possibly changing control only to sacrifice, which is ultimately pointless when the singular word ‘destroy’ could be used almost the same mechanically. The second inelegance that is problematic for this card is that the phrase ‘If you do,’ seems to be missing when it likely should come just before the word “Create” (which would of course become lowercase in this supposed instance).
Development -
(1/3) Viability: This card is just fine with a rarity of rare. However, changing control of permanents has historically been intrinsic to blue on the color wheel. As a result, I would believe that a color hemorrhage is being presented here, even if it is just to sacrifice the exchanged permanent...
...which I believe is a viability quandary. Why does this card not just say ‘destroy’? The only answer that I can come up with off of the top of my head is so that there can be synergy with the various sacrifice triggers that are in black, but that hardly feels worth pressing the issue for.
(1/3) Balance: I believe that there is a specific balance reason that Wizards of the Coast did not print the low-hanging fruit that is a direct mana sink to energy output card. Simply put, energy is supposed to be more scarce as a resource than mana because it does not empty from the mana pool. Making such a card disrupts the balance of the energy economy as a result.
That aside, a 3/5 for 3BB is already a somewhat playable card at Common with no other rules text. Two abilities have subsequently added to this card as a result of the increase in rarity. The first ability is oddly specific; it does nothing without specific creature types that are otherwise not mentioned on the card. The second ability is under-costed, and it also should not be able to activate so freely at instant speed either.
I do not think that this card concept is necessarily broken, but I do think that it was developed without the concept of Kaladesh’s energy economy in mind.
Creativity -
(0.5/3) Uniqueness: Gaining control of creatures and sacrificing them is admittedly more unique than outright destroying them, but only slightly. Everything else that this card does has been done before in the most recent set numerous times.
(0.5/3) Flavor: I do not like this card name at all (partly because it is misspelled, see Quality). Not only is the idea of refurbishing not what I would call black, I would go as far to say that this card does not necessarily refurbish anything through its mechanics. The flavor that the mechanics of this card are trying to portray just read as muddled and off-kilter here.
On the other hand, I do like this card’s flavor text.
While the flavor text does explicitly mention Tezzeret (who is currently on Kaladesh), this card leaves enough reasonable doubt in my mind that I can only award half credit in regards to the second subchallenge. Tezzeret in this case could be on Esper or any other technological plane.
Polish -
(0.5/3) Quality: The card name “Refurbusher” should be bolded (minus half a point). In addition, this card’s name is misspelled; it should be correctly spelled as ‘Refurbisher’ (minus half a point). The second line of rules text should be above the first line of rules text (they should switch places, minus half a point).
The second line of rules text on this card is also missing the energy counter reminder text (minus half a point). The energy counter reminder text should be after the energy symbol yet before a period, which is unfortunately missing from this line of rules text (minus half a point). Anyway, the reminder text in question should read as follows: (an energy counter)
(2/2) Main Challenge: Main challenge met!
(1.5/2) Subchallenges: Subchallenge 1 met!
Total: 10.5/25
Final thoughts: My apologies, but it seems as though this card may be in need of a bit of a refurbishing itself. I wish you the best of luck during future contests.
mirrodin71 – 16
Vertain – 16
Tesco(black)lotus – 15.5
Forestguy – 15
Diabolical SOUND – 13.5
Your BFF – 10.5
If your username has been bolded here, congratulations are in order — you have qualified for Round 2 of the October MCC! Best of luck!
If your username has not been bolded here, there is always next month. Thank you for participating; best of luck next month!
Design
(2/3) Appeal - Timmy doesn't care. Johnny can maybe do something with the tokens or the trigger, even though the reward isn't exactly something for him. Spike likes this.
(3/3) Elegance - Very easily understandable and the card makes perfect sense as a whole.
Development
(3/3) Viability - White (or blue) for the flying tokens, black for the -1/-1. Makes sense. Rarity too.
(2/3) Balance - I expect this to be playable in a limited environment like Kaladesh, especially with artifact recursion as the white/black draft archetype. The second ability plays very well in that archetype. I can't see this in constructed unless some particular combo is found. I see no problems in casual or multiplayer.
Creativity
(2/3) Uniqueness - Nothing new mechanically, but the flavor does feel original.
(2.5/3) Flavor - I like the idea behind this card's flavor very much, but I think it might have been executed even better. Gremlins are red on Kaladesh, so it makes sense to have their exterminator in red's enemy colors. Black is needed here though for mechanical reasons. The best execution of that idea would have been finding a way to make a Gremlin hate card in white/blue. The flavor text really helps making the mechanical need for black tie into the flavor, and I like it quite a lot. I also like how well the last ability works with the exterminator flavor: Gremlins destroy your machines, and when they do the exterminator kicks in and kills them.
Polish
(1.5/3) Quality - In the first ability, "token" should be plural as two of them are created (-0.5). You can expect the second ability to trigger multiple times over the course of this creature's life on the battlefield, so it should start with "whenever" instead of "when" (-0.5). In the suggested formatting, flavor text comes before P/T (-0.5). I always mention the suggested formatting in my rounds' OPs.
(2/2) Main Challenge - Good.
(2/2) Subchallenges - Both met. The flavor text could actually be set on any plane that has gremlins, but we only ever saw two (Kaladesh, of course, and Phyrexia, both old and new) and they are quite characteristic of Kaladesh, so I'll accept it. Also, I don't think the Phyrexians would want to kill their gremlins, while the Kaladeshi definitely want to kill theirs.
Total: 20/25
Design
(2/3) Appeal - Timmy likes legendary creatures, but he doesn't care that much mechanically about this particular one. Johnny might use this as a sacrifice engine, but there should be better options for that. Spike likes fabricate and the skill required to get the maximum out of this card depending on the board state.
(3/3) Elegance - Very easily understandable and the card makes perfect sense as a whole.
Development
(3/3) Viability - Everything is in color and rarity feels right.
(2.5/3) Balance - The interesting thing here is how you'd need both halves of fabricate at the same time to really get advantage of the activated ability. I think the end result would be that you'd always put +1/+1 counters on this relying on external sources of Servos or Thopters, like for example other fabricate cards. If there is a fabricate constructed deck, this is certainly playable there. In limited, it would have been playable anyway. I wonder if this could cost 3W, I think it could. I see no problem in casual or multiplayer.
Creativity
(1/3) Uniqueness - Nothing particularly new neither mechanically nor flavorfully.
(2/3) Flavor - The flavor is very good in this card, both name and flavor text. The only remark I have to make is that on Kaladesh there are not "rebels" but "renegades". For example, Pia Nalaar is Renegade Prime, not Rebel Prime. That's not that small of a mistake on a flavor text meant to be set on Kaladesh.
Polish
(2/3) Quality - Reminder text for fabricate should definitely be there: it's a new not evergreen keyword and MSE shows it would fit (-0.5). A typo in the flavor text ("to to" was probably meant to be "to the", -0.5).
(2/2) Main Challenge - Good.
(2/2) Subchallenges - Both met.
Total: 19.5/25
Design
(1.5/3) Appeal - Timmy likes tokens and how this affects the board. Not much for Johnny here. Spike likes that this is a card that requires quite a lot of thought to use properly.
(0/3) Elegance - Way too wordy. It's not microtext, but the font does need to be quite small to fit it all in the text box, regardless of the inclusion of crew's reminder text, which absence also doesn't help here. The abilities are each fine by itself, but put them all together and you get a very complex card.
Development
(3/3) Viability - There is nothing here that a colorless artifact can't do. Rarity is definitely right.
(1.5/3) Balance - I think the "Thopters can't crew this" ability is meant to be there for balance, as this card produces Thopter tokens itself, but I'm not sure it's actually necessary. You still need another creature to crew this for the first time. I'm also not sure the "for each creature that crewed this" is really necessary, I think the amount of Thopters you get could have been fixed (not necessarily at one, maybe more) and this card would have gained in elegance and would have been probably easier to develop and balance. It's probably playable in limited, especially as any color combination can use this effectively. There may be better options for constructed at six mana. The huge complexity of this card is a problem in casual.
Creativity
(3/3) Uniqueness - There are multiple abilities here that do new things Kaladesh Vehicles don't do (yet, maybe there will be some advancement in AER), and that gains you full points here.
(1/3) Flavor - I don't exactly get what this is supposed to be flavorfully: a drivable assembly of Thopters? And why does this produce Thopters but Thopters can't drive this? I feel like I may be the one who's missing something, but it's not that easy to picture this in your mind with only the name, which I have nothing against by the way. Flavor text doesn't fit, that's for sure, so I think this is a card that would really benefit from seeing its intended art.
Polish
(2/3) Quality - Putting reminder text of block keywords such as crew on mythics is not mandatory, but it's still advisable whenever possible. In this case, MSE shows me it is possible. The card as is is eight lines in the M15 frame with an already small font size. If you include reminder text for crew, it goes to ten lines (the maximum allowed) but the font size doesn't change significantly, so I honestly don't see why not to include it (-0.5). In the suggested formatting, P/T are not bolded (-0.5). I always mention the suggested formatting in my rounds' OPs.
(2/2) Main Challenge - Good.
(1/2) Subchallenges - Subchallenge 1 met. Subchallenge 2 is easy here: there is no flavor text at all, so it can't be set on Kaladesh.
Total: 15/25
Design
(2.5/3) Appeal - Timmy doesn't care. Johnny can do a lot of things with the activated ability. Spike likes the skill required to get the maximum out of this card.
(3/3) Elegance - All good here.
Development
(2/3) Viability - If this weren't an Aetherborn, I'd say this card should not be black, but either white or blue. It still doesn't break anything in black, and flavor makes this card make sense in black, but mechanically I'd see it much better in white (blue doesn't get fabricate in Kaladesh). Rarity looks fine.
(2/3) Balance - This looks very interesting, especially in limited: you either get a Hill Giant with a small upside or an engine card that fuels itself. I expect this to be playable in limited overall, but not in constructed unless some high-powered combo involving the activated ability is found. I see no problems in casual or multiplayer.
Creativity
(2/3) Uniqueness - Nothing new mechanically. The flavor of Servo larvae turning into Thopters as they grow does feel original though.
(3/3) Flavor - The flavor is very good here, both the name but especially the flavor text: the Servos you fabricate are caterpillar-shaped because they will grow wings later and become Thopters. The only remark I can make is that I see no necessity for this to be an aetherborn, but that's not a problem. Aetherborn are black (a side of black that I like very much and that we don't get to see often) and not every creature of a race has to mechanically tie into that race.
Polish
(2.5/3) Quality - The proper use of the long dash in the flavor text shows me you're not under the non-Latin characters restriction, so why not use that same long dash in the type line too? (-0.5) I am pedant, I know, but this is supposed to be the most formal contest after all.
(2/2) Main Challenge - Good.
(2/2) Subchallenges - Both met.
Total: 21/25
Design
(1/3) Appeal - Timmy and Johnny do not care. Spike likes the low mana cost and the potential to kill a lot of tokens at once, but I can't see him being highly excited for this card.
(3/3) Elegance - All good here.
Development
(3/3) Viability - What makes this card, and especially its activated ability, fine in green is that Thopters are both flying and artifacts, both things which green hates. Rarity looks fine.
(2/3) Balance - This card is playable in limited even though it shouldn't be a first pick unless Thopters are somehow prevalent in the format. I'd be very surprised to see this card getting played in any constructed format. No problems in casual or multiplayer.
Creativity
(2/3) Uniqueness - Such effects are usually seen in red, and seeing them in green feels fresh and is allowed. Still, there is nothing particularly new on this card.
(2.5/3) Flavor - The flavor works, but I think it has been specifically built upon a typo which I will mention again in Quality: it's "Eleven Bridges", not "Elven Bridges". Unfortunately, a single missing "e" completely changes the meaning, but luckily, there are elves among the merchants there and that's why the flavor still works even when correcting the typo. I still can't ignore the typo though: I'll penalize for it in Quality, but a little here too as it is flavor relevant. You would have got full points here if that typo weren't there.
Polish
(1.5/3) Quality - There are three typos, for a total of -1.5: "Ghiapur" is missing an "r" in the activated ability. In the flavor text, the location of the Ghirapur market is actually "Eleven Bridges", not "Elven". It's not a market where buyers and sellers are all of the Elf race, it's the number of bridges. Finally, I really think the "to" should be "for": "decided for measures against...".
(2/2) Main Challenge - Good.
(2/2) Subchallenges - Both met.
Total: 19/25
Design
(2.5/3) Appeal - Timmy likes how this affects the board, even though Wrath effects are not his thing. Still, this is a Wrath of the kind he likes the most: the one that still leaves you some creatures. This is something Spike also really likes. I don't see much for Johnny to do.
(3/3) Elegance - Easy enough to understand and makes sense as a whole.
Development
(3/3) Viability - Everything is in color and I can see this at mythic, even though it could probably also just be a regular rare.
(3/3) Balance - It's interesting that you get as many Thopters as the creatures you had before the Wrath. In practice, you're killing all creatures your opponents control while turning all of yours into Thopters. That's probably fine at five mana, where you can get a Wrath effect plus a small upside. A must play in limited if you're in white, especially because of how well it can break stalls to your favor. I can easily see this in Standard too. I see no problems in casual and multiplayer. It's interesting how this gets better in multiplayer without mentioning it explicitly, as you get to disrupt multiple opponents' board states.
Creativity
(2/3) Uniqueness - This card reminds me very much of Martial Coup or the few other Wrath effects that give you one or more creatures afterwards. It is a very nice variation in that vein, but it's not uncharted design space.
(2/3) Flavor - The flavor is very good in this card, especially the flavor text. The only remark I have to make is that on Kaladesh there are not "rebels" but "renegades". For example, Pia Nalaar is Renegade Prime, not Rebel Prime. That's not that small of a mistake on a flavor text meant to be set on Kaladesh and spoken by Dovin Baan.
Polish
(3/3) Quality - All good. They are "renegades" and not "rebels", but that is a Flavor mistake. It would have been a Quality one if the word were spelt wrong, whichever it is.
(2/2) Main Challenge - Good.
(2/2) Subchallenges - Both met.
Total: 22.5/25
Design
(2.5/3) Appeal - Timmy likes creating tokens. Johnny can use those tokens somehow even though I don't think it would be for this card's activated ability, which is exactly what Spike likes the most instead, together with the fact that you're getting four power for four mana.
(2/3) Elegance - Seeing a Kaladesh Dwarf in black hurts here (more on this later). The card is still very easy to understand though.
Development
(2/3) Viability - Mechanically there is nothing wrong here, it just feels a little strange to see Thopter-making in black, but on Kaladesh that is definitely an acceptable bend. Flavorfully, dwarves are not black on Kaladesh (again, see later). Rarity looks fine.
(2/3) Balance - This is definitely playable in limited: it gives you four power over three different bodies with built-in removal. I can't see this card in any constructed format though. I can't see any problem in casual or multiplayer either.
Creativity
(1.5/3) Uniqueness - Nothing new mechanically. The flavor of a black dwarf is very original, but I don't think it fits that well in Kaladesh. Maybe on some other plane.
(0.5/3) Flavor - I'm following everything in the Kaladesh story, but I can't honestly remember any dwarf in the Dhund. Probably in Gonti's black market above it there can be some, but the Dhund is specifically the prison tunnels underneath. Also, it's probably intentional for originality, but dwarves are primary white and secondary red on Kaladesh. A black dwarf doesn't make that much sense flavorfully to me. I could easily see this as a Human merchant in Gonti's market, even with the same name, which is fine, but a different flavor text.
Polish
(2.5/3) Quality - As the last two Magic Story articles showed while telling about Chandra, Nissa, and Mrs. Pashiri's imprisonment in the Deadlock Trap and their liberation at the hands (or paws?) of my favorite planeswalker character, the word "Dhund" wants the article before. It's "the Dhund", as it's the specific name of the tunnel system and not the name of a city, zone or such. (-0.5)
(2/2) Main Challenge - Good.
(2/2) Subchallenges - Both met.
Total: 17/25
StonerOfKruphix: 22.5
Raptorchan: 21
Flintlock: 20
PsyOp: 19.5
scarbo: 19
Voxzorz: 17
RaikouRider: 15
MCC - Winner (6): Oct 2014, Apr Nov 2017, Jan 2018, Apr Jun 2019 || Host (15): Dec 2014, Apr Jul Aug Dec 2015, Mar Jul Aug Oct 2016, Feb Jul 2017, Jun Nov 2018, Feb Jul 2019 (last one here) || Judge (34): every month from Nov 2014 to Nov 2016 except Oct 2015, every month from Feb to Jul 2017 except Apr 2017, then Oct 2017, May Jun Nov 2018, Feb Jul 2019 (last one here)
CCL - Winner (3): Jul 2016 (tied with Flatline), May 2017, Jul 2019 (last one here) || Host (5): Feb 2015, Mar Apr May Jun 2016
DCC - Winner (1): Mar 2015 (tied with Piar) || Host (3): May Oct 2015, Jan 2016
• The two public custom sets I've been part a part of the design team for:
"Brotherhood of Ormos" - Blog post with all info - set thread - design skeleton / card list || "Extinctia: Homo Evanuit" - Blog post with all info - set thread - card list spreadsheet
• "The Lion's Lair", my article series about MTG and custom card design in particular. Latest article here. Here is the article index. Rather outdated by now, and based on the old MCC rubric, but I'm leaving this here for anybody that might be interested anyway.
• My only public attempt at being a writer: the story of my Leonin custom planeswalker Jeff Lionheart. (I have a very big one that I'm working on right now but that's private for now, and I don't know if I will ever actually publish it, and I also have ideas for multiple future ones, including one where I'm going to reprise Jeff.)
Design
(2.5/3) Appeal: Timmy would be elated with the prospect of creating large armies with this card. Closely related would be Johnny's equal enthusiasm in abusing the "leaves the battlefield" cluase. Spikes playing a more controlling deck might use this, but that relates to the second ability's capability of vast numbers of cheap creatures, but I will elaborate on this further in Balance.
(2.5/3) Elegance: The only real complication on this card is one of its main features, having "leaves the battlefield" rather than "is put into your graveyard". I had to read this card twice to catch that, and I feel that is a tripping point, but complexity often comes at the cost of elegance.
Development
(3/3) Viability: White is perfectly capable of creating vast armies, and this card also feels at home as a rare.
(2/3) Balance: The fact that the second ability doesn't specify nontoken artifacts I feel is intentional but unfortunately dangerous. As this means one of the Servos produced can be sacrificed back into the ability, basically equating to paying 1W to make a creature at instant speed. This seems to much in standard, but at four mana, too slow in modern.
Creativity
(1.5/3) Uniqueness: Token spawning white cards are really quite common. Admittedly this particular combination is new as far as I can tell.
(2.5/3) Flavor: The name, mechanics, and flavor text are quite synergistic. Again the only problem is the two Servos from one issue I previously mentioned.
Polish
(3/3) Quality: Spelling, grammar, and templating are all compliant.
(2/2) Main Challenge: Met
(2/2) Sub Challenges: Both met. Clearly Kaladesh-y.
FINAL VERDICT - 21/25
Design
(1/3) Appeal: Johnny would certainly try to break this card somehow. But it neither provides the big splashy effects for a Timmy, and at four mana, and not having an immediate impact on the board I doubt Spikes would see much in this card either.
(2.5/3) Elegance: It seems straight forward enough: a way to make Thopters and a way to use Thopters. The deduction comes the word "may" which just seems like an opportunity for missed triggers.
Development
(3/3) Viability: I see no issues with this cards color identity or rarity.
(0/3) Balance: Hoo boy, there's a lot here. I know that WoTC produce dud rares, but this is a double white four-drop enchantment without board effects that requires outside spells that ALSO probably do little to nothing. Vehicles are present in Kaladesh, but the Thopters produced aren't going to be piloting any of the bigger ones. Also the appeal of a bunch of Thopter tokens is either to go wide or chumping to stall. The wide strategy seems out with the sacrifice cost of the second ability, and the fact that it can't hit artifact creatures seems critically damning in an artifact-heavy set and to stalling.
Creativity
(1/3) Uniqueness: The combination of abilities here are novel, but they don't combine to create something new. Creating tokens and tapping creatures are both old hat to white.
(2/3) Flavor: The name and F-text are cohesive, and the making Thopters that tap things certainly feels consul-y. We question is why you have to sacrifice the spy thopters to detain a rebel? And why is the renegade ok to explode-taze but their regulation-breaking construct isn't?
Polish
(3/3) Quality: No discrepancies found.
(2/2) Main Challenge: Met
(2/2) Sub Challenges: Both met.
FINAL VERDICT - 16.5/25
Design
(1.5/3) Appeal: While flavorful this card isn't very punchy, so minimal marks for Timmy. Certainly Johnny would try and play all eight assembly-worker creature cards and the handful of manlands to try and get this to work at maximum capacity. Spike probably sees an overpriced card that requires to much effort to get operational.
(2.5/3) Elegance: There's a lot of text here, but the flavor mostly holds it together. Boiling down to two servos = one thopter, and one assembly-worker = two thopters.
Development
(3/3) Viability: Certainly colorless, and artifacts in particular are capable of churning out tokens, and for this level of complexity rare fits this card fine.
(.5/3) Balance: Unfortunately this card seems REALLY parasitic. As mentioned above the number of assembly-worker cards are vanishingly small, and servos are, so far, a Kaladesh unique thing. In standard or limited, this would require a VERY devoted deck to function.
Creativity
(1.5/3) Uniqueness: Token producing artifacts are very common in Magic's history. The novelty of machines building machines, and the odd-ball creature types are amusing, but ultimately the only real selling point.
(3/3) Flavor: Exactly what it says on the tin. A line of machines that assemble things. All the flavor components mesh.
Polish
(3/3) Quality: No discrepancies found.
(2/2) Main Challenge: Met.
(2/2) Sub Challenges: Both met.
FINAL VERDICT - 19/25
Design
(1/3) Appeal: who is this for? Maybe a control Spike? This does make big armies for Timmy, but requires your opponent to have a solid target or maybe your nuke your own things in a combo-ish Johnny deck?
(3/3) Elegance: Blow up an artifact and turn the rubble into thopters. Plain and simple.
Development
(2/3) Viability: White is fine with blasting artifacts and making dudes, but this feels underwhelming to open as a rare. Removal at rare should be more versatile or permanent.
(1/3) Balance: This is a side board card at best, and the shear amount of mana needed to pump into it to hit anything worthwhile is disconcerting. At instant this still would be kind of overcosted, and even then there are better options for simple removal. The other thing is making tokens out of scrapped machinery feels flavorful, but in a single card also feels divided on what it wants to do.
Creativity
(2/3) Uniqueness: Making things after breaking things seems like a logical thing for white to do, but it really feels like two mechanics are just sitting next to each other rather than interacting meaningfully.
(3/3) Flavor: This card does what one would think it does. The name is a little... overdone? But overall it connects.
Polish
(2/3) Quality: You failed to specify that the created Thopters are colorless.
(2/2) Main Challenge: Met.
(2/2) Sub Chanllenges: Both met.
FINAL VERDICT 17.5/25
Design
(2.5/3) Appeal: Big smashy ship and a lots of little thop-thop-thopters, Timmy approves. Johnny might like this as another crowning piece in a vehicle deck. Spike sadly does not see the beauty in this bulky mana intensive seige weapon.
(2/3) Elegance: Being a vehicle inherently means this cards slides toward the complicated side of the scale, and I'm afraid about memory issues with which thopters werre made by the Carrier and which weren't.
Development
(3/3) Viability: Both rarity and color appropiate.
(2.5) Balanece: The crew cost seems a little high, for its body, seeing as the thopter swarm has its own inherent cost. Still the inevitable if questionable vehicles deck would want this, and this has limited bomb written all over it.
Creativity
(2/3) Uniqueness: Hangerback already kinda crowds in on this card, but I like this as proper skycarrier vehicle.
(2.5/3) Flavor: While vehicles are certainly kaladesh only, as of writing, the flavor text seems... generic, and as such incurs a half point deduction.
Polish
(2/3) Quality: The token need only be "tapped and attacking", "that are" is unnecessary.
(2/2) Main Challenge: Met.
(1.5/2) Sub Challenges: The quote from Chandra could really be from any plane where *****es about to get real, but I just imagine her under a looming shadow of mechanical death, looking up in frustration. The rest of the card holds that up.
FINAL VERDICT - 20/25
Design
(2/3) Appeal: While too small for a Timmy, Johnny would snatch this up a combo enabler, and its to be discussed power level appeal to Spike.
(2/3) Elgance: Search effects are inherently inelegant, and the exile cost seems unnecessary, because I can scarcely imagine NOT doing the searching.
Development
(2/3) Viability: Artifacts can fly and creature searching on a body typically requires rare these days.
(0/3) Balance: No. You do not make a 2/2 flyer with A MASSIVE UPSIDE for TWO generic mana. This is busted seven ways to a sunday social, and the fact that it chain with itself is sickening.
Creativity
(1.5/3) Uniqueness: A creature with another creature inside a la clone shell isn't really new territory.
(2/3) Flavor: Ok I get that its a piloted thopter... but I feel it should be a vehicle then. Maybe if it only created a servo on death?
Polish
(1.5/3) Quality: This card searches your library but does not have a shuffle clause. This only compounds its borkenness.
(2/2) Main Challenge: Met.
(2/2) Sub Challenges: Both met.
FINAL VERDICT - 15/25
Design
(2.5/3) Appeal: This card has just enough tilt to the casting player that I can see Spike playing this. Johnny too, finding a way to break its symmetry MORE.
(3/3) Elegance: It is a thopter vending machine. WHAT MORE COULD I ASK FOR? At first I was confused by the second ability, but the flavor text made me realize that its a renegade made vending machine, so it has hidden tricks. Wonderous.
Development
(3/3) Viability: Artifacts can make more artifacts, and the only Rare could do it so cheaply.
(3/3) Balance: At two mana its cheap enough to slide under the "do nothing" barrier, but the symmetry keeps the borkenness hammer at bay as well.
Creativity
(3/3) Uniqueness: I wracked my brain trying to think of another vending-machine-esque card, but I really couldn't think of one. This fact that it dispense indiscriminately is what makes it so neat.
(3/3) Flavor: As mentioned before hand: the F text really pulls the second ability together, and the name and mechanics sync up perfectly.
Polish
(2/3) Quality: The word "colorless" should come after the "1/1".
(2/2) Main Challenge: Met.
(2/2) Sub Challenges: Both met.
FINAL VERDICT - 23.5/25
1. 23.5 Clockwork Gamer
2. 21 Folza
3. 20.5 P E
4. 19 Soramaro
5. 18 Jimmy Groove
6. 16.5 Sperlman
7. 15 Freyleyes
—Head Judge Tezzeret
MCC - Winner (6): Oct 2014, Apr Nov 2017, Jan 2018, Apr Jun 2019 || Host (15): Dec 2014, Apr Jul Aug Dec 2015, Mar Jul Aug Oct 2016, Feb Jul 2017, Jun Nov 2018, Feb Jul 2019 (last one here) || Judge (34): every month from Nov 2014 to Nov 2016 except Oct 2015, every month from Feb to Jul 2017 except Apr 2017, then Oct 2017, May Jun Nov 2018, Feb Jul 2019 (last one here)
CCL - Winner (3): Jul 2016 (tied with Flatline), May 2017, Jul 2019 (last one here) || Host (5): Feb 2015, Mar Apr May Jun 2016
DCC - Winner (1): Mar 2015 (tied with Piar) || Host (3): May Oct 2015, Jan 2016
• The two public custom sets I've been part a part of the design team for:
"Brotherhood of Ormos" - Blog post with all info - set thread - design skeleton / card list || "Extinctia: Homo Evanuit" - Blog post with all info - set thread - card list spreadsheet
• "The Lion's Lair", my article series about MTG and custom card design in particular. Latest article here. Here is the article index. Rather outdated by now, and based on the old MCC rubric, but I'm leaving this here for anybody that might be interested anyway.
• My only public attempt at being a writer: the story of my Leonin custom planeswalker Jeff Lionheart. (I have a very big one that I'm working on right now but that's private for now, and I don't know if I will ever actually publish it, and I also have ideas for multiple future ones, including one where I'm going to reprise Jeff.)