This Month we will be concentrating on some of the most common mistakes made by new and experienced custom magic card designers alike.
Each challenge will concentrate on a single issue, having us work to try and improve on these potential points of weakness and give us a better understanding on how to tackle these issues.
The color pie is a super important tool to keep the colors both mechanically and thematically separate, this is enforced by dividing mechanical traits and weaknesses among the colors using flavor, precedence and gameplay requirements as a base. However the color pie is constantly evolving to tackle problems such as looting and exile draw solving card flow in red or fight and untapping solving removal in green that still required creatures.
Also for specific designs or settings you can create "color pie bends" or "bleeds" sometimes these go to far and are called mistakes like many Future Sight cards, other times they are said to only be acceptable in the specific setting like life loss in New Phyrexia. This can be very confusion for custom card designers who often just use precedence to learn about color pie bends, rather than learning about the underlying reasoning given by the designer.
So lets look at color pie bleeds and maybe teach each other in the process.
Note: These challenges will now be getting more difficult, be sure to read the requirements carefully when submitting and judging.
So our challenge is Create two cards
One design must display an "acceptable color pie bleed" preferably with precedent from the last 5 years. Include in a spoiler tag the card you are using as precedent.
The other design must have a color pie break that is trying to be justified with setting, flavor or other element. The more subtle the better. Include in a spoiler tag why the card is a break.
None Yet
Feel free to ask questions if your unsure about anything in the Discussion Thread
Due Date: January 24th. Critique due date is the 27th
Demonic Possession3BBB
Enchantment - Aura (R)
Enchant creature
You control enchanted creature.
When enchanted creature dies, put a 5/5 black Demon creature token with flying onto the battlefield. MOmMy?
Whiptail Scorpion2G
Creature - Scorpion (R)
Deathtouch 2G, T: Whiptail Scorpion deals damage equal to it's power to another target creature. I don't think even Zegana could manufacture a more efficient killing machine.
1/1
One-sided fight has recently been moved to green. This card takes green's new fight and combines it with greens ability to have deathtouch and combining them into one, turning this into basically a black card.
Swath of Pain
Sorcery (R)
Wither (This deals damage to creatures in the form of -1/-1 counters.)
Swath of Pain deals 3 damage to each creature.
A moment of pain, a lifetime of anguish.
Red does not generally spam out -1/-1 counters, and black doesn't often deal damage to creatures. But there have been several instances of red dealing with -1/-1 counters when the block calls for it, such as wither (Puncture Blast, Kulrath Knight, Puncture Bolt), and more recently cards like Razor Swine and Ogre Menial, and black does occasionally deal direct damage to creatures (Douse in Gloom, Sorin's Thirst, Wail of the Nim). Also, Wizards sometimes lets hybrid cards give colors access to things they wouldn't usually have, such as Judge's Familiar giving white access to counterspells.
Break:
Norn’s Judgement
Instant (U)
Choose one —
• Target creature gets +2/+2 until end of turn.
• Target creature gets -2/-2 until end of turn.
"Those that follow the ways of the Father shall be rewarded. Those that do not will suffer another fate."
Outside of Elesh Norn, Grand Cenobite, white does not decrease a creature's P/T. Although if we revisit New Phyrexia at some point, I could totally see a card like this being printed because of the way it mirrors the original Elesh Norn.
(22 Total) - October 2014; December 2014; January 2015; April 2015; June 2015; August 2015; September 2015; November 2015; December 2015(T); January 2016; March 2016(T); April 2016; June 2016; October 2016; December 2016(T); February 2017; April 2017; December 2017; November 2018(T); January 2019; April 2019; June 2019
(8 Total) - May 2015; May 2016; June 2016; August 2016; October 2016; December 2016; October 2017; May 2019
(7 Total) - September 2015; October 2015; January 2016; March 2016; April 2016; July 2016(T); March 2019(T)
Bleed: Melovarn the Vindictive5RB
Legendary Creature - Vampire (R)
Flying, flash
Whenever a creature dealt damage by Melovarn the Vindictive this turn dies, put a +1/+1 counter on Melovarn.
Whenever a creature deals damage to you or a planeswalker you control, Melovarn deals 5 damage to it.
5/4
Since Time Spiral, Flash has been almost exclusive to white, green and blue, but lately cards like Dictate of Erebos, Dictate of the Twin Gods and even Dragon Grip had shown that flash can be added to cards that would benefit mechanically from having a surprise element. Melovarn is such a card, so Flash should be an acceptable bend.
Break:
Immolate the Æther2RRR
Enchantment (R)
Whenever a player casts a spell, counter it. Immolate the Æther deals damage equal to that spell's converted mana cost to target creature or player of that spell's controller choice. Raya could feel the rage bubbling within her. "What will we do now?", asked Attama. "Burn it", came the answer. "Burn it all".
It should be pretty obvious: Red does not get to counter spells. Much like other red pie-breaking cards like Final Fortune, and Form of the Dragon, the flavor allows it do something that it otherwise wouldn't. Countering here isn't about control or preventing your opponent from achieving their goals, but rather turning the spells into pure energy that fans greater and greater flames.
Five years, huh? Interesting that New Phyrexia was released in 2011.
Holder.
Bend: Mind NeedleU
Sorcery
Target opponent reveals his or her hand. You choose an instant or sorcery card from it. That player discards that card.
Blue has dabbled in discarding, like Dismal Failure, Serum Raker and Trapfinder's Trick, and blue is the colour of mental games, it would make sense that blue would get the ability to make opponents discard.
Break:
Relic Transmutation2U
Sorcery (R)
Exile target artifact an opponent controls. That player reveals cards from the top of his or her library until an artifact card is revealed. The player puts that card onto the battlefield, then shuffles the rest into his or her library.
Artifact removal is usually seen in white, red and green. But if blue can exile creatures with cards like Blessed Reincarnation and Reality Shift (both of which are currently Standard-legal,) why can't it do with artifacts? Flavour-wise, it makes sense, since morphing is a blue thing.
Arachnus Web more recently, but other similar effects (Lignify, Utopia Vow) show how green can deal with creatures other than fighting - which is now the acceptable way to do it. These are strongly justified through flavor and have a drawback (Spider webs only work in small creatures, turning into a tree leaves a defender creature, and turning a creature into a mana dork by an Utopia Tree reference).
Trap with Branches2G
Enchantment - Aura (C)
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature can't attack or block, and its activated abilities can't be activated.
Tap two untapped creatures with power 4 or greater: Trap with Branches' controller sacrifices it. Only any opponent may activate this ability. Unlike herds, lone travelers can be snared forever in a forest.
Burning Fervor1R
Enchantment (R)
All creatures have haste and attack each turn if able.
Whenever a creature enters the battlefield, it gains "At the beginning of the end step, sacrifice this creature" unless its controller pays 1. A bloodlust so intense that consumes from within.
White is known for taxing cards, namely increasing costs. However, red is known for crazy enchantments and, in some alternative ways, for taxing on lands. This is a red version of taxing creatures, embedded in the reckless red spirit.
This is mythic rare for Limited. This card ruins drafts.
Invasive Ooze2GG
Creature - Ooze {M}
When Invasive Ooze dies, if it wasn't sacrificed, put two tokens onto the battlefield that are copies of it at the beginning of the next end step. Cutting it in half only doubles your troubles. 1/1
Break:
SequesterW
Instant {U}
Counter target spell. If that spell is countered this way, put that card into its owner's hand instead of that player's graveyard. Cards with the same name as that spell can't be cast this turn.
White doesn't get to counter spells. White is, however, good at setting temporary or permanent rules (precedent: Nevermore) as well as imprisonment effects (cf. Oblivion Ring). White has also gotten temporary banishment effects flavored as repentence before (cf. Excommunicate, Lapse of Certainty). White is good at finding temporary answers while looking for the few permanent ones it has. This card is a temporary answer. I could see this card being printed in a set with a faction like the Azorius.
Blue doesn't normally use the graveyard as a resource (often a black thing), but every delve card in Khans makes it seem ok.
Likewise, blue caring about creatures make the card seem more green, but ferocious shows that sometimes those bleeds happen when enforcing a tri (or multi) color scheme.
Also, Inistrad blue zombies are on point.
Forensic AnalysisXU
Sorcery (R)
Exile up to X target creature cards from any number of graveyards. Draw cards equal to the number of cards exiled this way. "The body is still relatively untouched. Come, let us secure it. There is still much I want to know."
-Faldrick, Dimir Necrosurgeon
Break:
Retributive Volley2WW
Instant (U)
Retributive Volley deals 4 damage to each creature that dealt damage to you this turn. Pain inspires vengeance.
White can sometimes deal damage directly to attacking and blocking creatures. There are even things like avenging arrow which shows retributive effects are normal for white. But something as potentially oneside and massive like this? Without targeting even? This would be a break, but in an environment where there are lots of tokens/easy summons or where there will little other mass removal options, this could fit. That and environment based around ,any creatures that have more that 4 toughness
Angelic InterventionWW
Instant (R)
Counter target spell unless its controller has you to put a 4/4 white Angel creature token with flying onto the battlefield. "Heaven always has an answer"
Considering countermagic in white as a "big break" rather than a bleed is not probably the most accurate. Chancellor of the Annex is the precedent of choice here, but cards like Mana Tithe, Lapse of certainty and even rebuff the wicked and dawn charm made countermagic find its way into white (Older precedents include Unyaro Griffin and Presence of the Master). Bleeding countermagic into the other colors was tried several times, but it was only achieved in white with a respectable degree of mechanical and philosophical sense. No colors should other than blue are meant to have hard counters, but with the right limitations white is the color where it feels more natural.
Break
Grip of the CensorB
Enchantment (R)
When Grip of the Censor enters the battlefield, each opponent reveals his or her hand. Choose a nonland card from each of them.
Cards with the same name as the chosen cards can't be cast. "I said no"
Preventing cards from being played is a white ability, but I feel this can serve a purpose in black. Discard was once a more powerful effect, as the only color that could benefit from the graveyard in the other side of the table was black. The main purpose of discarding your opponent's cards was preventing them from being cast, but now that the graveyard has become quite resourceful (Delve, Flashback, madness, Dredge, Unearth, Recover, etc) discard has lost a bit of efficiency. Grip of the Censor does what it is meant to do: preventing stuff from being played, and to achive that a bit more of control on what your opponent can do is needed. It's not a big break, but I think this white ability can be used to benefit black intentions pretty clearly
Get your Critiques started
Please judge the cards of all the other competitors. Remember that this judging round is quite short, and missing the opportunity can make or break your chance to get to the finals.
This was one heck of a challenge. There were a lot of interesting ideas all around. I don't think there were any basic mistakes, but no one really managed to have a perfect submission. One of the toughest top 8s I've ever had to do.
Demonic Possession3BBB
Enchantment - Aura (R)
Enchant creature
You control enchanted creature.
When enchanted creature dies, put a 5/5 black Demon creature token with flying onto the battlefield. MOmMy?
Whiptail Scorpion2G
Creature - Scorpion (R)
Deathtouch 2G, T: Whiptail Scorpion deals damage equal to it's power to another target creature. I don't think even Zegana could manufacture a more efficient killing machine.
1/1
One-sided fight has recently been moved to green. This card takes green's new fight and combines it with greens ability to have deathtouch and combining them into one, turning this into basically a black card.
Demonic Possession - Planar chaos is really not a good precedence for color-pie related effect. I do feel that flavourly, taking control of someone's mind is very black, and I fail to see why Worst Fears is black but taking control of a creature isn't, but as far as recent precedence is concern, this is a break rather than a bleed. I do really like the flavor and I think it's very viable as a future addition for black's piece of the pie. Whiptail Scorpion – As you've said, one-sided fights have been added to green's arsenal, which means there's no part of the card that isn't green really. It does have a certain viciousness a-la Avatar of Woe that green usually doesn't get, so I'd say it could be classified as a bleed, but a break it is not. I don't much care for the flavor, it seems kinda generic and the flavor text needs to be a quote from someone. It's also really lacking the "wow" effect people had when they first read the text on Avatar of Woe.
Swath of Pain
Sorcery (R)
Wither (This deals damage to creatures in the form of -1/-1 counters.)
Swath of Pain deals 3 damage to each creature.
A moment of pain, a lifetime of anguish.
Red does not generally spam out -1/-1 counters, and black doesn't often deal damage to creatures. But there have been several instances of red dealing with -1/-1 counters when the block calls for it, such as wither (Puncture Blast, Kulrath Knight, Puncture Bolt), and more recently cards like Razor Swine and Ogre Menial, and black does occasionally deal direct damage to creatures (Douse in Gloom, Sorin's Thirst, Wail of the Nim). Also, Wizards sometimes lets hybrid cards give colors access to things they wouldn't usually have, such as Judge's Familiar giving white access to counterspells.
Break:
Norn’s Judgement
Instant (U)
Choose one —
• Target creature gets +2/+2 until end of turn.
• Target creature gets -2/-2 until end of turn.
"Those that follow the ways of the Father shall be rewarded. Those that do not will suffer another fate."
Outside of Elesh Norn, Grand Cenobite, white does not decrease a creature's P/T. Although if we revisit New Phyrexia at some point, I could totally see a card like this being printed because of the way it mirrors the original Elesh Norn.
Swath of Pain – This is ok with me. Past experience shows that when -1/-1 counters are a part of the theme, they can appear in red as part of its usual "damaging and maiming" package, so the red part's good. The real bleed in my eyes is with black – Black does get to pass -1/-1 counters around, but the card most reminds me of the likes of Famine, which we haven't seen in a long while. Pretty good rare, though I feel like it's stepping on Languish's toes a bit. Norn’s Judgment – I don't see how directly lowering a single creature's toughness is acceptable in white, and this card did not have a good enough flavor reason for me to accept it. Elesh Norn had a unique "my side will take over while yours will die" feel that just stretched the definition of what white gets to do for players to still feel like it's a white, oppressive card, and turning the effect into a targeted one hurts that. On top of that, I feel like you've missed a chance to tie the card to Norn by having it give +2/+2 to creature you control or -2/-2 to creature you don't. It's subtle, but it would have made the connection much stronger.
Five years, huh? Interesting that New Phyrexia was released in 2011.
Holder.
Bend: Mind NeedleU
Sorcery
Target opponent reveals his or her hand. You choose an instant or sorcery card from it. That player discards that card.
Blue has dabbled in discarding, like Dismal Failure, Serum Raker and Trapfinder's Trick, and blue is the colour of mental games, it would make sense that blue would get the ability to make opponents discard.
Break:
Relic Transmutation2U
Sorcery (R)
Exile target artifact an opponent controls. That player reveals cards from the top of his or her library until an artifact card is revealed. The player puts that card onto the battlefield, then shuffles the rest into his or her library.
Artifact removal is usually seen in white, red and green. But if blue can exile creatures with cards like Blessed Reincarnation and Reality Shift (both of which are currently Standard-legal,) why can't it do with artifacts? Flavour-wise, it makes sense, since morphing is a blue thing.
This is a real challenge.
Mind Needle – Blue *very rarely* gets to do discard effects, and the reason has to do more with the balance of the game than the specific blue flavor: adding discard to blue's already impressive control suit will skew the balance between the colors. Wizards had kept the "mental games" part of blue's color pie mostly for library manipulation and milling. In the case of your specific card, you've basically created a blue Duress. I can accept that flavorly this fits blue, but I don't see how the game can ever benefit from blue having its own duress. This is the sort of card that will either be completely useless or break the balance of the game in half. Relic Transmutation – There are a lot of things done right with this card: it harkens back to one of the best known top-down blue designs (Polymorph), it exiles rather than destroys (a big problem with the original Polymorph), it's cheap enough to matter. It also has quite a few problems: Limiting it to opponent's artifacts makes it really useless. No one likes a removal spell that can bite them in their behinds, and you've hurt the Johnny aspect that made Polymorph memorable in the first place. As it's written, it's pretty much useless. I'd rather it cost twice as much and let me target my own artifacts.
Trap with Branches2G
Enchantment - Aura (C)
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature can't attack or block, and its activated abilities can't be activated.
Tap two untapped creatures with power 4 or greater: Trap with Branches' controller sacrifices it. Only any opponent may activate this ability. Unlike herds, lone travelers can be snared forever in a forest.
Burning Fervor1R
Enchantment (R)
All creatures have haste and attack each turn if able.
Whenever a creature enters the battlefield, it gains "At the beginning of the end step, sacrifice this creature" unless its controller pays 1. A bloodlust so intense that consumes from within.
White is known for taxing cards, namely increasing costs. However, red is known for crazy enchantments and, in some alternative ways, for taxing on lands. This is a red version of taxing creatures, embedded in the reckless red spirit.
Trap with Branches - Green removal is hard to design. Aside from fighting, Green relies on flavorful designs that evoke the nature aspect of pacifying a creature: Song of the Dryads, Beast Within and indeed Arachnus Web. Your card does a very good job of evoking the same general idea, but it suffers from two issues: the first one is that it costs a bit too much for a Pacifism with a drawback. The other is that the rider is a bit confusing: Do I need to tap two creatures with power 4 each or power 4 total? (I'm aware that you meant the former, but read the card as a new player might read it) Can I tap the enchanted creature? (a bit of contradiction in flavor if you can). These are not major issues, but they do hurt an otherwise lovely idea of design. Burning Fervor – I really, really wish you didn't include the "unless its controller pays 1" clause. It doesn't make it feel like a taxing effect, it makes it feel like a rhystic effect, and the cost is so low that it doesn't matter much unless you have taxing effects to complement it, which is too much of a break. I'd much rather you'd keep it a simple 'Whenever a creature enters the battlefield, it gains "At the beginning of the end step, sacrifice this creature"' which would still make it a break (being a black effect) but will feel right at home in red, since the whole card is about turning every creature into a Ball Lightning.
This is mythic rare for Limited. This card ruins drafts.
Invasive Ooze2GG
Creature - Ooze {M}
When Invasive Ooze dies, if it wasn't sacrificed, put two tokens onto the battlefield that are copies of it at the beginning of the next end step. Cutting it in half only doubles your troubles. 1/1
Break:
SequesterW
Instant {U}
Counter target spell. If that spell is countered this way, put that card into its owner's hand instead of that player's graveyard. Cards with the same name as that spell can't be cast this turn.
White doesn't get to counter spells. White is, however, good at setting temporary or permanent rules (precedent: Nevermore) as well as imprisonment effects (cf. Oblivion Ring). White has also gotten temporary banishment effects flavored as repentence before (cf. Excommunicate, Lapse of Certainty). White is good at finding temporary answers while looking for the few permanent ones it has. This card is a temporary answer. I could see this card being printed in a set with a faction like the Azorius.
Invasive Ooze - I am not at all sure why this is a bleed. Is it the word copy? That appears in Spawnwrithe, Spitting Image, Giant Adephage and each and every populate card. Biggest problem of this card is that you've gone too far and "fixed" it in more ways than one, to the point I just don't see what it's good for or why it's mythic. We've had a similar effect in Sprouting Phytohydra which was much more abusable, and the game didn't break. It's too small for Timmy, too restrictive for Johnny and too inefficient for Spike. It's only redeeming feature is that it's going to be fairly good in limited.
Sequester – Let me start by saying I like Sequester a lot. However, there is a reason that white very rarely gets to counter spells, and it has more to do with the mechanical needs of the color rather than whether or not its flavor allows it (it does, btw). White's efficient and fast creatures pair with cheap countering effects like Sequester will lead to a one-sided game. It doesn't matter if your opponent can cast it next turn, you have means to grow your board presence while preventing your opponent from growing theirs, and that's dangerous and unfun. The solution in my eyes is to take a page out of Judge's Familiar's book, and make it target only instants and sorceries.
Blue doesn't normally use the graveyard as a resource (often a black thing), but every delve card in Khans makes it seem ok.
Likewise, blue caring about creatures make the card seem more green, but ferocious shows that sometimes those bleeds happen when enforcing a tri (or multi) color scheme.
Also, Inistrad blue zombies are on point.
Forensic AnalysisXU
Sorcery (R)
Exile up to X target creature cards from any number of graveyards. Draw cards equal to the number of cards exiled this way. "The body is still relatively untouched. Come, let us secure it. There is still much I want to know."
-Faldrick, Dimir Necrosurgeon
Break:
Retributive Volley2WW
Instant (U)
Retributive Volley deals 4 damage to each creature that dealt damage to you this turn. Pain inspires vengeance.
White can sometimes deal damage directly to attacking and blocking creatures. There are even things like avenging arrow which shows retributive effects are normal for white. But something as potentially oneside and massive like this? Without targeting even? This would be a break, but in an environment where there are lots of tokens/easy summons or where there will little other mass removal options, this could fit. That and environment based around ,any creatures that have more that 4 toughness
Forensic Analysis – I'm fine with blue harnessing creature cards in a graveyard in a set with a graveyard theme. It's the sort of bend I'd expect to help drive the theme in. The card itself I don't much care for, though. I'd much rather it would have had a fixed price and let you take out creature cards from a graveyard for cards, or take out one card and draw cards equal to its toughness or something (would make more sense with flavor). The flavor is off: The name evokes Azorius, the flavor text evokes Dimir and the whole card just scream: "Not Ravnika!" anyways.
Retributive Volley – White does have a long standing tradion of being vengeful and punishing creatures, so I'm quite fine with the break, I'm just not too enthusiastic about the card. I'd like it better if it would have just wiped out the creatures entirely, damage seems to me too limiting to make it exciting. No Mercy this is not. Solid design though.
Angelic InterventionWW
Instant (R)
Counter target spell unless its controller has you to put a 4/4 white Angel creature token with flying onto the battlefield. "Heaven always has an answer"
Considering countermagic in white as a "big break" rather than a bleed is not probably the most accurate. Chancellor of the Annex is the precedent of choice here, but cards like Mana Tithe, Lapse of certainty and even rebuff the wicked and dawn charm made countermagic find its way into white (Older precedents include Unyaro Griffin and Presence of the Master). Bleeding countermagic into the other colors was tried several times, but it was only achieved in white with a respectable degree of mechanical and philosophical sense. No colors should other than blue are meant to have hard counters, but with the right limitations white is the color where it feels more natural.
Break
Grip of the CensorB
Enchantment (R)
When Grip of the Censor enters the battlefield, each opponent reveals his or her hand. Choose a nonland card from each of them.
Cards with the same name as the chosen cards can't be cast. "I said no"
Preventing cards from being played is a white ability, but I feel this can serve a purpose in black. Discard was once a more powerful effect, as the only color that could benefit from the graveyard in the other side of the table was black. The main purpose of discarding your opponent's cards was preventing them from being cast, but now that the graveyard has become quite resourceful (Delve, Flashback, madness, Dredge, Unearth, Recover, etc) discard has lost a bit of efficiency. Grip of the Censor does what it is meant to do: preventing stuff from being played, and to achive that a bit more of control on what your opponent can do is needed. It's not a big break, but I think this white ability can be used to benefit black intentions pretty clearly
Angelic Intervention – I guess it's fine? I get the reasoning behind it, but much like the case of Dash Hopes, I just can't get worked up about this. Both options of the card (countering a spell and getting a 4/4 flyer for 2) are exciting on their own rights, but there is just too much left in your opponent's hands for players to consider this as part of their arsenal. Grip of the Censor – Here's the thing: what this effect boils down to is basically the same effect as Brain Maggot, but this card is much more efficient than Brain Maggot, and arguably much more efficient than Thoughtseize. I see no flavor reason not to use the tried and true Brain Maggot mechanic, and I see no reason to make a hand disruption card that's this powerful.
Demonic Possession: Normally, I would not approve of anyone using a card from Planar Chaos as a reference, but in this case, I'll make an exception. This is good from a flavour standpoint. Whiptail Scorpion: If it weren't for Nissa's Judgment, I would say no to this card. My only complaint is that the flavour text isn't attributed to anyone, and it should be.
Flatline
Swath of Pain: I understand your argument, but this would more likely be printed as a red card. Norn's Judgment: I don't think this would ever be printed as a white card. More like a black/green card. Sure it connects to Elesh Norn, but white would not destroy a creature by reducing its toughness to 0.
Asrama
Melovarn the Vindictive: You mentioned the red and black Dictates from Journey into Nyx, but they have flash only because they're part of a cycle, kind of like the white and blue Bringers in Fifth Dawn have trample. Also, I feel that this should be mythic rare. Immolate the Æther: The last time red could counter a spell (without having any blue in it) is Guttural Response. This is in the same line as Dovescape, except almost no spells are safe. While countering is out of character for red, so is locking down the game. There's almost no way of removing that card.
Solesticio
Trap with Branches: It's Arrest, but with a drawback. Arachnus Web is a sound precedent for this card. The flavour is good, though the wording on the activated ability is questionable. I'm assuming you meant "two creatures you control each with power 4 or greater." Burning Fervor: I can understand the explanation, but I think if this was black and red, it would make more sense. The upkeep is more black in flavour than in red.
RaikouRider
Invasive Ooze: It reminds me of Chronozoa. Also, if there's something that gives creatures -1/-1 all the time (ex: Ascendant Evincar) There's going to be an infinite loop. It should be bigger than 1/1. Sequester: A white version of Remand? I don't think so. White should not have any hard counterspells.
IcariiFA
Forensic Analysis: Blue has dealt with cards in the graveyard in Innistrad, though in that case, it was an additional cost to cast zombies. Still, this cards feels more like black than blue, despite your explanation. Retributive Volley: The flavour of the card is okay. For the same cost, I can play Retaliate, and, honestly, killing creatures that hurt makes more sense in white than just doing damage.
Hemlock
Angelic Intervention: White has had a history of soft counterspells in recent years, so I can accept this. My gripe is that this won't save you if you're facing a spell that will kill you. White's better off with counterspells that make the controller pay more mana. Grip of the Censor: The closest thing black got to stopping a spell this way is Conjurer's Ban. Still, I'm afraid I can't see the merit of your argument. Black keeps spells from being played through discarding and white keeps spells from being played by means of cards like Nevermore.
Swath of Pain
Sorcery (R)
Wither (This deals damage to creatures in the form of -1/-1 counters.)
Swath of Pain deals 3 damage to each creature. A moment of pain, a lifetime of anguish.
Red does not generally spam out -1/-1 counters, and black doesn't often deal damage to creatures. But there have been several instances of red dealing with -1/-1 counters when the block calls for it, such as wither (Puncture Blast, Kulrath Knight, Puncture Bolt), and more recently cards like Razor Swine and Ogre Menial, and black does occasionally deal direct damage to creatures (Douse in Gloom, Sorin's Thirst, Wail of the Nim). Also, Wizards sometimes lets hybrid cards give colors access to things they wouldn't usually have, such as Judge's Familiar giving white access to counterspells.
Break:
Norn’s Judgement
Instant (U)
Choose one —
• Target creature gets +2/+2 until end of turn.
• Target creature gets -2/-2 until end of turn. "Those that follow the ways of the Father shall be rewarded. Those that do not will suffer another fate."
Outside of Elesh Norn, Grand Cenobite, white does not decrease a creature's P/T. Although if we revisit New Phyrexia at some point, I could totally see a card like this being printed because of the way it mirrors the original Elesh Norn.
Swath is a solid bleed for both red and black but I do think the card is a little too efficient, given it's hybrid nature.
Norn's Judgement is for sure a break but, like Swath, is too efficient. Still, an interesting break.
Bleed: Melovarn the Vindictive5RB
Legendary Creature - Vampire (R)
Flying, flash
Whenever a creature dealt damage by Melovarn the Vindictive this turn dies, put a +1/+1 counter on Melovarn.
Whenever a creature deals damage to you or a planeswalker you control, Melovarn deals 5 damage to it.
5/4
Since Time Spiral, Flash has been almost exclusive to white, green and blue, but lately cards like Dictate of Erebos, Dictate of the Twin Gods and even Dragon Grip had shown that flash can be added to cards that would benefit mechanically from having a surprise element. Melovarn is such a card, so Flash should be an acceptable bend.
Break: Immolate the Æther2RRR
Enchantment (R)
Whenever a player casts a spell, counter it. Immolate the Æther deals damage equal to that spell's converted mana cost to target creature or player of that spell's controller choice. Raya could feel the rage bubbling within her. "What will we do now?", asked Attama. "Burn it", came the answer. "Burn it all".
It should be pretty obvious: Red does not get to counter spells. Much like other red pie-breaking cards like Final Fortune, and Form of the Dragon, the flavor allows it do something that it otherwise wouldn't. Countering here isn't about control or preventing your opponent from achieving their goals, but rather turning the spells into pure energy that fans greater and greater flames.
Putting flash on a creature doesn't seem like a bleed to me. Even if black or red don't get flash, it doesn't really fit with the spirit of the challenged.
Immolate on the other hand is an awesome break. That said, it is not without its faults. I don't like how it just locks the game out into a slugfest. It should either narrow on which spells it counters or cost more or something.
Bend: Mind NeedleU
Sorcery
Target opponent reveals his or her hand. You choose an instant or sorcery card from it. That player discards that card.
Blue has dabbled in discarding, like Dismal Failure, Serum Raker and Trapfinder's Trick, and blue is the colour of mental games, it would make sense that blue would get the ability to make opponents discard.
Break: Relic Transmutation2U
Sorcery (R)
Exile target artifact an opponent controls. That player reveals cards from the top of his or her library until an artifact card is revealed. The player puts that card onto the battlefield, then shuffles the rest into his or her library.
Artifact removal is usually seen in white, red and green. But if blue can exile creatures with cards like Blessed Reincarnation and Reality Shift (both of which are currently Standard-legal,) why can't it do with artifacts? Flavour-wise, it makes sense, since morphing is a blue thing.
It's funny because I feel these should be flipped. Transmutation feels like a combination of Polymorph and Transmute Artifact and the fact that blue is the artifact and shapeshifting color makes this almost feel like a card that is IN color. Mind Needle, on the other hand, seems like a break more than a bleed. Yes, blue has had discarding, but never in a selective sort of way.
Arachnus Web more recently, but other similar effects (Lignify, Utopia Vow) show how green can deal with creatures other than fighting - which is now the acceptable way to do it. These are strongly justified through flavor and have a drawback (Spider webs only work in small creatures, turning into a tree leaves a defender creature, and turning a creature into a mana dork by an Utopia Tree reference).
Trap with Branches2G
Enchantment - Aura (C)
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature can't attack or block, and its activated abilities can't be activated.
Tap two untapped creatures with power 4 or greater: Trap with Branches' controller sacrifices it. Only any opponent may activate this ability. Unlike herds, lone travelers can be snared forever in a forest.
Burning Fervor1R
Enchantment (R)
All creatures have haste and attack each turn if able.
Whenever a creature enters the battlefield, it gains "At the beginning of the end step, sacrifice this creature" unless its controller pays 1. A bloodlust so intense that consumes from within.
White is known for taxing cards, namely increasing costs. However, red is known for crazy enchantments and, in some alternative ways, for taxing on lands. This is a red version of taxing creatures, embedded in the reckless red spirit.
Trap with Branches is a solid bleed. Green has had these Pacifism effects before with good flavor and this fits.
Burning Fervor feels like a red card without the the taxing and the taxing doesn't make it feel like a break, but rather just a weaker version of a interesting red card.
This is mythic rare for Limited. This card ruins drafts.
Invasive Ooze2GG
Creature - Ooze {M}
When Invasive Ooze dies, if it wasn't sacrificed, put two tokens onto the battlefield that are copies of it at the beginning of the next end step. Cutting it in half only doubles your troubles. 1/1
Break:
SequesterW
Instant {U}
Counter target spell. If that spell is countered this way, put that card into its owner's hand instead of that player's graveyard. Cards with the same name as that spell can't be cast this turn.
White doesn't get to counter spells. White is, however, good at setting temporary or permanent rules (precedent: Nevermore) as well as imprisonment effects (cf. Oblivion Ring). White has also gotten temporary banishment effects flavored as repentence before (cf. Excommunicate, Lapse of Certainty). White is good at finding temporary answers while looking for the few permanent ones it has. This card is a temporary answer. I could see this card being printed in a set with a faction like the Azorius.
Invasive Ooze seems in color. Green has gotten plenty of these self-clone effects and this is just a splashier version.
Sequester is a solid design and a slice of whites pie that I wish would be explored more often. I feel this might be slightly more of a bleed than a break but it's close.
Blue doesn't normally use the graveyard as a resource (often a black thing), but every delve card in Khans makes it seem ok.
Likewise, blue caring about creatures make the card seem more green, but ferocious shows that sometimes those bleeds happen when enforcing a tri (or multi) color scheme.
Also, Inistrad blue zombies are on point.
Forensic AnalysisXU
Sorcery (R)
Exile up to X target creature cards from any number of graveyards. Draw cards equal to the number of cards exiled this way. "The body is still relatively untouched. Come, let us secure it. There is still much I want to know."
-Faldrick, Dimir Necrosurgeon
Break: Retributive Volley2WW
Instant (U)
Retributive Volley deals 4 damage to each creature that dealt damage to you this turn. Pain inspires vengeance.
White can sometimes deal damage directly to attacking and blocking creatures. There are even things like avenging arrow which shows retributive effects are normal for white. But something as potentially oneside and massive like this? Without targeting even? This would be a break, but in an environment where there are lots of tokens/easy summons or where there will little other mass removal options, this could fit. That and environment based around ,any creatures that have more that 4 toughness
Analysis fits the bleed challenge well enough. It feels a little too blue to be honest, but interacting with the graveyard is just subtle enough.
While has had plenty of "kill after damamge" spells and has even had Retaliate. I could see this being a bleed, but not a break.
Angelic InterventionWW
Instant (R)
Counter target spell unless its controller has you to put a 4/4 white Angel creature token with flying onto the battlefield. "Heaven always has an answer"
Considering countermagic in white as a "big break" rather than a bleed is not probably the most accurate. Chancellor of the Annex is the precedent of choice here, but cards like Mana Tithe, Lapse of certainty and even rebuff the wicked and dawn charm made countermagic find its way into white (Older precedents include Unyaro Griffin and Presence of the Master). Bleeding countermagic into the other colors was tried several times, but it was only achieved in white with a respectable degree of mechanical and philosophical sense. No colors should other than blue are meant to have hard counters, but with the right limitations white is the color where it feels more natural.
Break
Grip of the CensorB
Enchantment (R)
When Grip of the Censor enters the battlefield, each opponent reveals his or her hand. Choose a nonland card from each of them.
Cards with the same name as the chosen cards can't be cast. "I said no"
Preventing cards from being played is a white ability, but I feel this can serve a purpose in black. Discard was once a more powerful effect, as the only color that could benefit from the graveyard in the other side of the table was black. The main purpose of discarding your opponent's cards was preventing them from being cast, but now that the graveyard has become quite resourceful (Delve, Flashback, madness, Dredge, Unearth, Recover, etc) discard has lost a bit of efficiency. Grip of the Censor does what it is meant to do: preventing stuff from being played, and to achive that a bit more of control on what your opponent can do is needed. It's not a big break, but I think this white ability can be used to benefit black intentions pretty clearly
Whereas Raikou had a white counter that really felt white, this one has a counter that is similar to Dash Hopes but painted white. I don't know if I like this kind of effect in white as punisher cards have been in red and black for the most part. This is closer to a break than a bleed.
Grip feels like a weird combination of an exiling discard spell and Lobotomy. Either way, this card feels mechanically more like a bleed than a break.
Bleed: I agree balck has some control creautres precedent, but it's been in vampires (super-flavorful) and in Planar Chaos. I guess a demonic possession would be another explanation, and I like the concept. The card itself, though, seems too strong.
Break: I do not agree this is a break. Green is able to to this, specially to creatures with flying. Adding deathtouch makes it a machine gun, which makes it probably too cheap for green (It's so much more efficient than Royal Assassin, a black staple for this effect).
Bleed: The two colors bleed into each other, but because you designed a multicolor card, it feels kinda cheating...I guess your argument is that, casting with RR gives -1/-1 counters to red, and casting with BB gives pyroclasm (not really) to black. The precedents are set specific, which doesn't invalidate them, but makes me think twice about their validity.
Break: Crovax (Planar Chaos) and Elesh Nord (New Phyrexia, that has a Planar Chaos feeling) are two precedents. Bad ones. Flanking, though, is a good one. In combat, the two effects are about the same, so it boils down to how it works as removal, which white has as efficient. The real question is how much of a break this is for white, and I have a hard time to justify this, as the "excuse" is set specific.
Bleed: It's not flash so much that bothers me (although a flashy vampire seems really werid), but the second ability, that feels so white..I'd considered it a break, for these two reasons together.
Break: Not much to say here..I love it. Maybe I'm biased, because I also looked into red enchantments, but you did a really good job here.
Bleed: I do not agree this is just a bend. Two of the examples are from two weird sets (Planar Chaos and New Phyrexia that has a similar feeling), and none of those have selection, rather just discard. Even the third has no selection, but looks for a super-specific type to begin with. This is super efficient for blue, and doesn't feel right at all. I think it'd be more acceptable with a higher cost, even if less playable then.
Break: This is Shape Anew, chepaer and that exiles instead of making sacrifice.
Bleed: Green copies things, but usually it is associated with combat or just tokens (populate). This doesn't feel totally green, but it's acceptable. The card itself, though, is super strong, because you can only exile it.
Break: This is Remand, cheaper, but with card disadvantage. It's probably too good for constructed, but power level aside, I get behind this break.
Bleed: I'm not sure if this is just a bend. There's a difference between caring about dead creatures (blue zombies are ok) and just used cards (delve, usually fuelled with spells, ok in blue). It doesn't feel blue at all, I'm afraid.
Break: Worse Retaliate? Funny enough, I consider this a bend and not a break. If only your entries were swapped, you could have here a winning submission.
Bleed: Dash Hopes revisited. It feels white, and I'm between bend and break, because white doesn't have hard counters. I guess it's not that hard because the controller alwyas have a choice (and because of that it won't see play :p), but it's a fine line.
Break: I disagree discard isn't powerful anymore, Thoughtseize in last Standard proved exactly the opposite, even with Delve and Den Protector around. Regarding the card, it's a huge break imo. It still doesn't feel black, even if it boils down to discard (although it invalidates future copies, and doing this for every opponent can be even more powerful).
1. Koopa
2. Asrama
3. RaikouRider
This was for sure one of the hardest challenges ever, I can only imagine the following. Specially because it's so hard to find what has been done or not, and precedents for some concepts. I'm sure everyone learned a lot from this experience!
Right now just for Asrama and Moss:
I don't see the confusion in the green card. That meaning requires the word "total" - see Formidable or Mossbridge Troll and Reveillark specifically. I agree that it should be "two creatures other than enchanted creature", but I didn't want to complicate even more, and I guess the trapped individual could exert some force as well?
I also don't get the "more black flavor/effect" references in the second one. Could you help me here?
Possession seems like a slight bend. I like the idea of the card, not sold on the cost however. I feel like it'd be a much cleaner 7cc card.
Scorpion certainly is a break. You didn't provide any real justification for it. If you're going to do a color break, you need to explain what kind of environment or color pie needs warrant it, not just explain why it is a break.
Flatline:
Swath of Pain has a lot of precedent. In fact, I'd say almost too much. It doesn't really feel fresh.
Norns judgement I could potentially see in a Phyerxia set. I still think its a bit too big of a bleed, but the thought process is sound and I like the design.
Asrama:
"Recently"? Flash has always been an option for all colors when appropriate, and its use in red goes further back then your examples. This doesn't feel like a bleed.
I like the idea of countering in red to make something a pure energy, damage spell. I do not like it being an enchantment that counters everything going forward, putting the game on lock down. It's a terribly unfun card. Odd are if you're going to play it, you're going to win with it the turn you cast it.
Moss_Elemental:
I can actually see blue discard in this way. Not that blue needs more tools like this, but the bleed here could work. Don't forget rarity!
Thought dissector meets polymorph? Sure, that doesn't bother me. In fact, this doesn't feel like an actual break. I agree with the sentiment that your first card is closer to a break then this.
Solesticio:
The precedent for trapped with branches is reasonable, but the name is blah. Also, this doesn't read as a common. The activated ability clause is a little too weird for that.
I like your red card, but it just doesn't feel like a break to me. It's not really worded in a way that feels like a tax at all, and delayed additional costs are an any color kind of deal.
As people have already said, this was one of the hardest challenges I've ever judged. I had a really hard time coming up with a top 3. The gap between my favorite, and least favorite entries was incredibly small.
Demonic Possession - This bend has some precedence, but I personally don't like the idea of too many Control Magic effects in black. Black destroys creatures, or turns them into Zombies (or Vampires). It doesn't control the mind, it destroys it. Don't get me wrong though, I do understand the flavor argument for black mind control, and you've done a good enough job of conveying that.
Whiptail Scorpion - I feel almost the same about this card as I did the last one. It just seems wrong for a non-black creature to have such efficient repeated removal. I don't have a problem with it per se, but again, it just seems a bit strong for something that's out of the pie.
Melovarn the Vindictive - This card doesn't seem like that much of a bend to me, but I suppose it technically is. That said, I rather like this. It's kind of a Sengir Vampire/No Mercy mash up that has a red effect. I actually think the flash is kind of unneccesary for the card. I think I would actually like it better without it.
Immolate the Aether - I actually really like the idea behind this, although I can't see it ever being printed unless it cost even more. The fact that this basically can not be removed makes it very hard to print.
Mind Needle - I just can't get behind such an efficient blue discard spell.
Relic Transmutation - This almost seems on color to me. I would like it a lot more if it cost more and could target any player.
Trap with Branches - The bend seems ok to me, there is some precedent, but I'm not sure I understand the second ability. Can you tap creatures your opponent's control? Or is it supposed to be ..two untapped creatures you control...? Also, I'm not a big fan of the name, although the flavor text is fine.
Burning Fervor - So this basically turns all creatures into Ball Lightning unless their controller pays ? That's pretty cool. The flavor is good too. I'm not sure how balanced it is though. Also, the end quotes should come after the in the card text.
Invasive Ooze - This doesn't seem like much of a bend to me. Is it because it copies something? This thing multiplies quickly, and also creates an infinite loop with anything that gives -1/-1 as a static effect.
Sequester - I've made this same card but cost it at and put it on a creature. I'm not fully opposed to it being mono-white though, although Wizards probably would be.
Forensic Analysis - So this card is limited by the number of creature cards in graveyards right? I'm not sure how much I like that. I see it more as a drawback than a boon, but I'm probably crazy. I have no problem with the bleed, and the flavor is good, especially the name.
Retributive Volley - This is another card that I don't see as much of a break. White already deals damage to attacking creatures, and cards like Reciprocate exist, so this doesn't seem like much of a stretch. Actually it just seems like a weak Retaliate. The flavor is good though. I could actually see this card being printed.
Angelic Intervention - I have less of a problem with opponent's choice cards than most people. With that in mind, I kind of like this card. You did a good job of balancing the choices. I'm not sure it could see print outside of a Planar Chaos set though, as it seems more like a break to me. Flavor is good.
Grip of the Censor - This should just target one player for confusion sake, and would still probably be too good.
1st: Asrama
2nd: Koopa
3rd: Selesticio
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
(22 Total) - October 2014; December 2014; January 2015; April 2015; June 2015; August 2015; September 2015; November 2015; December 2015(T); January 2016; March 2016(T); April 2016; June 2016; October 2016; December 2016(T); February 2017; April 2017; December 2017; November 2018(T); January 2019; April 2019; June 2019
(8 Total) - May 2015; May 2016; June 2016; August 2016; October 2016; December 2016; October 2017; May 2019
(7 Total) - September 2015; October 2015; January 2016; March 2016; April 2016; July 2016(T); March 2019(T)
Demonic Possession3BBB
Enchantment - Aura (R)
Enchant creature
You control enchanted creature.
When enchanted creature dies, put a 5/5 black Demon creature token with flying onto the battlefield.
[spoiler=Explanation] Enslave, Olivia Voldaren, and Captivating Vampire all prove that black has access to creature stealing in a very limited and flavorful way.
[/spoiler]
Break:
Whiptail Scorpion2G
Creature - Scorpion (R)
Deathtouch 2G, T: Whiptail Scorpion deals damage equal to it's power to another target creature. I don't think even Zegana could manufacture a more efficient killing machine.
1/1
[spoiler=Explanation] One-sided fight has recently been moved to green. This card takes green's new fight and combines it with greens ability to have deathtouch and combining them into one, turning this into basically a black card.
[/spoiler]
Possession has a solid enough flavor. I know enslave is mot probably the best precedent, but the fact that it was reprinted is in your favor.
The scorpion, while looking in color, would sit there killing stuff turn after turn. I like what you did here, but I'm quite positive this needs a power level tweak because this card as it is is simply too powerful for green. One of the things to take into account when breaking or bleeding is that limitations should be taken into consideration.
Swath of Pain
Sorcery (R)
Wither (This deals damage to creatures in the form of -1/-1 counters.)
Swath of Pain deals 3 damage to each creature.
A moment of pain, a lifetime of anguish.
[spoiler=Explanation]Red does not generally spam out -1/-1 counters, and black doesn't often deal damage to creatures. But there have been several instances of red dealing with -1/-1 counters when the block calls for it, such as wither (Puncture Blast, Kulrath Knight, Puncture Bolt), and more recently cards like Razor Swine and Ogre Menial, and black does occasionally deal direct damage to creatures (Douse in Gloom, Sorin's Thirst, Wail of the Nim). Also, Wizards sometimes lets hybrid cards give colors access to things they wouldn't usually have, such as Judge's Familiar giving white access to counterspells.[/spoiler]
Break:
Norn’s Judgement
Instant (U)
Choose one —
Target creature gets +2/+2 until end of turn.
Target creature gets -2/-2 until end of turn.
"Those that follow the ways of the Father shall be rewarded. Those that do not will suffer another fate."
spoiler=Explanation]
Outside of Elesh Norn, Grand Cenobite, white does not decrease a creature's P/T. Although if we revisit New Phyrexia at some point, I could totally see a card like this being printed because of the way it mirrors the original Elesh Norn.[/spoiler]
Swath reminds me a bit too much to a mix of puncture blast and Evincar's Justice, but I really feel they could be printed in either color. More than a bleed, this is one of the hybrids that pushes the color pie just a tiny bit, really not enough to look surprising.
With Norn's judgement we have the problem of Norn already being kind of a version of a colorshift of Ascendant Evincar into Crovax, ascendant hero . Norn's judgement is a bit too clean as an effect to look white, but sure, the reference helps here. This challenge is hard to judge because one has to go past the first impression of out of color shock to think the card throught, and I do feel that ultimately it works: White is the color of removal, and there are precendents of power shrinking (Sword dancer, ivory charm, etc) and even some extremely rare toughness shriking (Serra's Boon, Gore Vassal). Flanking itself can be also taken as a precedent. I feel a bit stupid citing precedents when what we are looking for is an exciting or at least prolix bleed.
Bleed: Melovarn the Vindictive5RB
Legendary Creature - Vampire (R)
Flying, flash
Whenever a creature dealt damage by Melovarn the Vindictive this turn dies, put a +1/+1 counter on Melovarn.
Whenever a creature deals damage to you or a planeswalker you control, Melovarn deals 5 damage to it.
5/4
[spoiler=Explenation]Since Time Spiral, Flash has been almost exclusive to white, green and blue, but lately cards like Dictate of Erebos, Dictate of the Twin Gods and even Dragon Grip had shown that flash can be added to cards that would benefit mechanically from having a surprise element. Melovarn is such a card, so Flash should be an acceptable bend.[/spoiler]
Break:
Immolate the Æther2RRR
Enchantment (R)
Whenever a player casts a spell, counter it. Immolate the Æther deals damage equal to that spell's converted mana cost to target creature or player of that spell's controller choice. Raya could feel the rage bubbling within her. "What will we do now?", asked Attama. "Burn it", came the answer. "Burn it all".
[spoiler=Explanation] It should be pretty obvious: Red does not get to counter spells. Much like other red pie-breaking cards like Final Fortune, and Form of the Dragon, the flavor allows it do something that it otherwise wouldn't. Countering here isn't about control or preventing your opponent from achieving their goals, but rather turning the spells into pure energy that fans greater and greater flames.[/spoiler]
Melovarn just looks a lot in color. flash is not that rare in red, it even appears in some auras.
Inmolate the Aether reminds me a lot of Possibility Storm, and I think you made a good choice on how to deal with the challenge. The card itself needs some tweaking, because once it hits the battlefield there's almost no way to remove it.
Five years, huh? Interesting that New Phyrexia was released in 2011.
Holder.
Bend: Mind NeedleU
Sorcery
Target opponent reveals his or her hand. You choose an instant or sorcery card from it. That player discards that card.
[spoiler=Explanation]Blue has dabbled in discarding, like Dismal Failure, Serum Raker and Trapfinder's Trick, and blue is the colour of mental games, it would make sense that blue would get the ability to make opponents discard.[/spoiler]
Break:
Relic Transmutation2U
Sorcery (R)
Exile target artifact an opponent controls. That player reveals cards from the top of his or her library until an artifact card is revealed. The player puts that card onto the battlefield, then shuffles the rest into his or her library.
[spoiler=Explanation]Artifact removal is usually seen in white, red and green. But if blue can exile creatures with cards like Blessed Reincarnation and Reality Shift (both of which are currently Standard-legal,) why can't it do with artifacts? Flavour-wise, it makes sense, since morphing is a blue thing.[/spoiler]
This is a real challenge.
I like Mind Needle. It does an effect that has bled into blue before and the limitation tunes it with blue intentions and posibilities, as blue is the color that can deal with instants and sorceries the most.
Relic transmutation just looks too much in color. Morphing stuff is blue, but also is artifact manipulation. This could have been used very well on your own artifacts too.
[spoiler=precedent] Arachnus Web more recently, but other similar effects (Lignify, Utopia Vow) show how green can deal with creatures other than fighting - which is now the acceptable way to do it. These are strongly justified through flavor and have a drawback (Spider webs only work in small creatures, turning into a tree leaves a defender creature, and turning a creature into a mana dork by an Utopia Tree reference).
[/spoiler]
Trap with Branches2G
Enchantment - Aura (C)
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature can't attack or block, and its activated abilities can't be activated.
Tap two untapped creatures with power 4 or greater: Trap with Branches' controller sacrifices it. Only any opponent may activate this ability. Unlike herds, lone travelers can be snared forever in a forest.
Burning Fervor1R
Enchantment (R)
All creatures have haste and attack each turn if able.
Whenever a creature enters the battlefield, it gains "At the beginning of the end step, sacrifice this creature" unless its controller pays 1. A bloodlust so intense that consumes from within.
[spoiler=explanation]
White is known for taxing cards, namely increasing costs. However, red is known for crazy enchantments and, in some alternative ways, for taxing on lands. This is a red version of taxing creatures, embedded in the reckless red spirit.
[/spoiler]
Trapped with branches just looks too much like Arachnus web. The tweak is a bit confusing.
I'm quite positive the quotations marks are meant to be put where they are as to make the trigger work once. The effect is fine but a bit too minor.
This is mythic rare for Limited. This card ruins drafts.[/spoiler]
Invasive Ooze2GG
Creature - Ooze {M}
When Invasive Ooze dies, if it wasn't sacrificed, put two tokens onto the battlefield that are copies of it at the beginning of the next end step. Cutting it in half only doubles your troubles. 1/1
Break:
SequesterW
Instant {U}
Counter target spell. If that spell is countered this way, put that card into its owner's hand instead of that player's graveyard. Cards with the same name as that spell can't be cast this turn.
[spoiler=Explanation]White doesn't get to counter spells. White is, however, good at setting temporary or permanent rules (precedent: Nevermore) as well as imprisonment effects (cf. Oblivion Ring). White has also gotten temporary banishment effects flavored as repentence before (cf. Excommunicate, Lapse of Certainty). White is good at finding temporary answers while looking for the few permanent ones it has. This card is a temporary answer. I could see this card being printed in a set with a faction like the Azorius.[/spoiler]
Again, I need to work against my own reasoning a bit here with your first card. I think this is fine as a bleed. there have been some effects of creature copying in green (populate aside, take into account that white does it too, but this is because they are the color that care bout tokens). The cards needs some tweaking to be safe, though
As for the break, I'm more of the idea of white countering as a bleed (see my exp), but since there's still a lot of reactions to white counters (even when they happened and kind of worked without killing the game), I can take it as a break. The cards looks great, as it has the clause that prevents you for playing a card that's very white.
Blue doesn't normally use the graveyard as a resource (often a black thing), but every delve card in Khans makes it seem ok.
Likewise, blue caring about creatures make the card seem more green, but ferocious shows that sometimes those bleeds happen when enforcing a tri (or multi) color scheme.
Also, Inistrad blue zombies are on point.[/spoiler]
Forensic AnalysisXU
Sorcery (R)
Exile up to X target creature cards from any number of graveyards. Draw cards equal to the number of cards exiled this way. "The body is still relatively untouched. Come, let us secure it. There is still much I want to know."
-Faldrick, Dimir Necrosurgeon
Break:
Retributive Volley2WW
Instant (U)
Retributive Volley deals 4 damage to each creature that dealt damage to you this turn. Pain inspires vengeance.
[spoiler=justification]White can sometimes deal damage directly to attacking and blocking creatures. There are even things like avenging arrow which shows retributive effects are normal for white. But something as potentially oneside and massive like this? Without targeting even? This would be a break, but in an environment where there are lots of tokens/easy summons or where there will little other mass removal options, this could fit. That and environment based around ,any creatures that have more that 4 toughness[/spoiler]
Blue caring about creature in the graveyard can be taken as a bleed, as I stated in my explanation for grip of the censor, graveyard has become so resourceful that this kind of effect barely make a difference.
I don't see a break int he Volley, it punishes attackers with damage, which is something whote has done since D'Avenant archer
The standings are Late, but I'm not sure they would have changed things much
Know your weaknesses and strive to improve them.
This Month we will be concentrating on some of the most common mistakes made by new and experienced custom magic card designers alike.
Each challenge will concentrate on a single issue, having us work to try and improve on these potential points of weakness and give us a better understanding on how to tackle these issues.
The color pie is a super important tool to keep the colors both mechanically and thematically separate, this is enforced by dividing mechanical traits and weaknesses among the colors using flavor, precedence and gameplay requirements as a base. However the color pie is constantly evolving to tackle problems such as looting and exile draw solving card flow in red or fight and untapping solving removal in green that still required creatures.
Also for specific designs or settings you can create "color pie bends" or "bleeds" sometimes these go to far and are called mistakes like many Future Sight cards, other times they are said to only be acceptable in the specific setting like life loss in New Phyrexia. This can be very confusion for custom card designers who often just use precedence to learn about color pie bends, rather than learning about the underlying reasoning given by the designer.
So lets look at color pie bleeds and maybe teach each other in the process.
Note: These challenges will now be getting more difficult, be sure to read the requirements carefully when submitting and judging.
So our challenge is Create two cards
Due Date: January 24th. Critique due date is the 27th
Are you designing commons? Check out my primer on NWO.
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My custom sets:
Dreamscape
Coins of Mercalis [COMPLETE]
Exodus of Zendikar - ON HOLD
Demonic Possession 3BBB
Enchantment - Aura (R)
Enchant creature
You control enchanted creature.
When enchanted creature dies, put a 5/5 black Demon creature token with flying onto the battlefield.
MOmMy?
Enslave, Olivia Voldaren, and Captivating Vampire all prove that black has access to creature stealing in a very limited and flavorful way.
Break:
Whiptail Scorpion 2G
Creature - Scorpion (R)
Deathtouch
2G, T: Whiptail Scorpion deals damage equal to it's power to another target creature.
I don't think even Zegana could manufacture a more efficient killing machine.
1/1
One-sided fight has recently been moved to green. This card takes green's new fight and combines it with greens ability to have deathtouch and combining them into one, turning this into basically a black card.
BGStandard Green AggroGB
UWRGModern Saheeli CobraGRWU
UBRGLegacy StormGRBU
Wizards Certified Rules Advisor
Swath of Pain
Sorcery (R)
Wither (This deals damage to creatures in the form of -1/-1 counters.)
Swath of Pain deals 3 damage to each creature.
A moment of pain, a lifetime of anguish.
Break:
Norn’s Judgement
Instant (U)
Choose one —
• Target creature gets +2/+2 until end of turn.
• Target creature gets -2/-2 until end of turn.
"Those that follow the ways of the Father shall be rewarded. Those that do not will suffer another fate."
Outside of Elesh Norn, Grand Cenobite, white does not decrease a creature's P/T. Although if we revisit New Phyrexia at some point, I could totally see a card like this being printed because of the way it mirrors the original Elesh Norn.
Bleed:
Melovarn the Vindictive 5RB
Legendary Creature - Vampire (R)
Flying, flash
Whenever a creature dealt damage by Melovarn the Vindictive this turn dies, put a +1/+1 counter on Melovarn.
Whenever a creature deals damage to you or a planeswalker you control, Melovarn deals 5 damage to it.
5/4
Immolate the Æther 2RRR
Enchantment (R)
Whenever a player casts a spell, counter it. Immolate the Æther deals damage equal to that spell's converted mana cost to target creature or player of that spell's controller choice.
Raya could feel the rage bubbling within her. "What will we do now?", asked Attama. "Burn it", came the answer. "Burn it all".
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Holder.
Bend:
Mind Needle U
Sorcery
Target opponent reveals his or her hand. You choose an instant or sorcery card from it. That player discards that card.
Break:
Relic Transmutation 2U
Sorcery (R)
Exile target artifact an opponent controls. That player reveals cards from the top of his or her library until an artifact card is revealed. The player puts that card onto the battlefield, then shuffles the rest into his or her library.
This is a real challenge.
Arachnus Web more recently, but other similar effects (Lignify, Utopia Vow) show how green can deal with creatures other than fighting - which is now the acceptable way to do it. These are strongly justified through flavor and have a drawback (Spider webs only work in small creatures, turning into a tree leaves a defender creature, and turning a creature into a mana dork by an Utopia Tree reference).
Trap with Branches 2G
Enchantment - Aura (C)
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature can't attack or block, and its activated abilities can't be activated.
Tap two untapped creatures with power 4 or greater: Trap with Branches' controller sacrifices it. Only any opponent may activate this ability.
Unlike herds, lone travelers can be snared forever in a forest.
Burning Fervor 1R
Enchantment (R)
All creatures have haste and attack each turn if able.
Whenever a creature enters the battlefield, it gains "At the beginning of the end step, sacrifice this creature" unless its controller pays 1.
A bloodlust so intense that consumes from within.
White is known for taxing cards, namely increasing costs. However, red is known for crazy enchantments and, in some alternative ways, for taxing on lands. This is a red version of taxing creatures, embedded in the reckless red spirit.
Thought of the Month:
I gave up from trying to require the 'i' on my name: SolesticIo
This is mythic rare for Limited. This card ruins drafts.
Invasive Ooze 2GG
Creature - Ooze {M}
When Invasive Ooze dies, if it wasn't sacrificed, put two tokens onto the battlefield that are copies of it at the beginning of the next end step.
Cutting it in half only doubles your troubles.
1/1
Break:
Sequester W
Instant {U}
Counter target spell. If that spell is countered this way, put that card into its owner's hand instead of that player's graveyard. Cards with the same name as that spell can't be cast this turn.
Emille, Seven-Sting Dancer Shalin Nariya
Blue doesn't normally use the graveyard as a resource (often a black thing), but every delve card in Khans makes it seem ok.
Likewise, blue caring about creatures make the card seem more green, but ferocious shows that sometimes those bleeds happen when enforcing a tri (or multi) color scheme.
Also, Inistrad blue zombies are on point.
Forensic Analysis XU
Sorcery (R)
Exile up to X target creature cards from any number of graveyards. Draw cards equal to the number of cards exiled this way.
"The body is still relatively untouched. Come, let us secure it. There is still much I want to know."
-Faldrick, Dimir Necrosurgeon
Break:
Retributive Volley 2WW
Instant (U)
Retributive Volley deals 4 damage to each creature that dealt damage to you this turn.
Pain inspires vengeance.
Angelic Intervention WW
Instant (R)
Counter target spell unless its controller has you to put a 4/4 white Angel creature token with flying onto the battlefield.
"Heaven always has an answer"
Break
Grip of the Censor B
Enchantment (R)
When Grip of the Censor enters the battlefield, each opponent reveals his or her hand. Choose a nonland card from each of them.
Cards with the same name as the chosen cards can't be cast.
"I said no"
Please judge the cards of all the other competitors. Remember that this judging round is quite short, and missing the opportunity can make or break your chance to get to the finals.
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Coins of Mercalis [COMPLETE]
Exodus of Zendikar - ON HOLD
Demonic Possession - Planar chaos is really not a good precedence for color-pie related effect. I do feel that flavourly, taking control of someone's mind is very black, and I fail to see why Worst Fears is black but taking control of a creature isn't, but as far as recent precedence is concern, this is a break rather than a bleed. I do really like the flavor and I think it's very viable as a future addition for black's piece of the pie.
Whiptail Scorpion – As you've said, one-sided fights have been added to green's arsenal, which means there's no part of the card that isn't green really. It does have a certain viciousness a-la Avatar of Woe that green usually doesn't get, so I'd say it could be classified as a bleed, but a break it is not. I don't much care for the flavor, it seems kinda generic and the flavor text needs to be a quote from someone. It's also really lacking the "wow" effect people had when they first read the text on Avatar of Woe.
Swath of Pain – This is ok with me. Past experience shows that when -1/-1 counters are a part of the theme, they can appear in red as part of its usual "damaging and maiming" package, so the red part's good. The real bleed in my eyes is with black – Black does get to pass -1/-1 counters around, but the card most reminds me of the likes of Famine, which we haven't seen in a long while. Pretty good rare, though I feel like it's stepping on Languish's toes a bit.
Norn’s Judgment – I don't see how directly lowering a single creature's toughness is acceptable in white, and this card did not have a good enough flavor reason for me to accept it. Elesh Norn had a unique "my side will take over while yours will die" feel that just stretched the definition of what white gets to do for players to still feel like it's a white, oppressive card, and turning the effect into a targeted one hurts that. On top of that, I feel like you've missed a chance to tie the card to Norn by having it give +2/+2 to creature you control or -2/-2 to creature you don't. It's subtle, but it would have made the connection much stronger.
Mind Needle – Blue *very rarely* gets to do discard effects, and the reason has to do more with the balance of the game than the specific blue flavor: adding discard to blue's already impressive control suit will skew the balance between the colors. Wizards had kept the "mental games" part of blue's color pie mostly for library manipulation and milling. In the case of your specific card, you've basically created a blue Duress. I can accept that flavorly this fits blue, but I don't see how the game can ever benefit from blue having its own duress. This is the sort of card that will either be completely useless or break the balance of the game in half.
Relic Transmutation – There are a lot of things done right with this card: it harkens back to one of the best known top-down blue designs (Polymorph), it exiles rather than destroys (a big problem with the original Polymorph), it's cheap enough to matter. It also has quite a few problems: Limiting it to opponent's artifacts makes it really useless. No one likes a removal spell that can bite them in their behinds, and you've hurt the Johnny aspect that made Polymorph memorable in the first place. As it's written, it's pretty much useless. I'd rather it cost twice as much and let me target my own artifacts.
Trap with Branches - Green removal is hard to design. Aside from fighting, Green relies on flavorful designs that evoke the nature aspect of pacifying a creature: Song of the Dryads, Beast Within and indeed Arachnus Web. Your card does a very good job of evoking the same general idea, but it suffers from two issues: the first one is that it costs a bit too much for a Pacifism with a drawback. The other is that the rider is a bit confusing: Do I need to tap two creatures with power 4 each or power 4 total? (I'm aware that you meant the former, but read the card as a new player might read it) Can I tap the enchanted creature? (a bit of contradiction in flavor if you can). These are not major issues, but they do hurt an otherwise lovely idea of design.
Burning Fervor – I really, really wish you didn't include the "unless its controller pays 1" clause. It doesn't make it feel like a taxing effect, it makes it feel like a rhystic effect, and the cost is so low that it doesn't matter much unless you have taxing effects to complement it, which is too much of a break. I'd much rather you'd keep it a simple 'Whenever a creature enters the battlefield, it gains "At the beginning of the end step, sacrifice this creature"' which would still make it a break (being a black effect) but will feel right at home in red, since the whole card is about turning every creature into a Ball Lightning.
Invasive Ooze - I am not at all sure why this is a bleed. Is it the word copy? That appears in Spawnwrithe, Spitting Image, Giant Adephage and each and every populate card. Biggest problem of this card is that you've gone too far and "fixed" it in more ways than one, to the point I just don't see what it's good for or why it's mythic. We've had a similar effect in Sprouting Phytohydra which was much more abusable, and the game didn't break. It's too small for Timmy, too restrictive for Johnny and too inefficient for Spike. It's only redeeming feature is that it's going to be fairly good in limited.
Sequester – Let me start by saying I like Sequester a lot. However, there is a reason that white very rarely gets to counter spells, and it has more to do with the mechanical needs of the color rather than whether or not its flavor allows it (it does, btw). White's efficient and fast creatures pair with cheap countering effects like Sequester will lead to a one-sided game. It doesn't matter if your opponent can cast it next turn, you have means to grow your board presence while preventing your opponent from growing theirs, and that's dangerous and unfun. The solution in my eyes is to take a page out of Judge's Familiar's book, and make it target only instants and sorceries.
Forensic Analysis – I'm fine with blue harnessing creature cards in a graveyard in a set with a graveyard theme. It's the sort of bend I'd expect to help drive the theme in. The card itself I don't much care for, though. I'd much rather it would have had a fixed price and let you take out creature cards from a graveyard for cards, or take out one card and draw cards equal to its toughness or something (would make more sense with flavor). The flavor is off: The name evokes Azorius, the flavor text evokes Dimir and the whole card just scream: "Not Ravnika!" anyways.
Retributive Volley – White does have a long standing tradion of being vengeful and punishing creatures, so I'm quite fine with the break, I'm just not too enthusiastic about the card. I'd like it better if it would have just wiped out the creatures entirely, damage seems to me too limiting to make it exciting. No Mercy this is not. Solid design though.
Angelic Intervention – I guess it's fine? I get the reasoning behind it, but much like the case of Dash Hopes, I just can't get worked up about this. Both options of the card (countering a spell and getting a 4/4 flyer for 2) are exciting on their own rights, but there is just too much left in your opponent's hands for players to consider this as part of their arsenal.
Grip of the Censor – Here's the thing: what this effect boils down to is basically the same effect as Brain Maggot, but this card is much more efficient than Brain Maggot, and arguably much more efficient than Thoughtseize. I see no flavor reason not to use the tried and true Brain Maggot mechanic, and I see no reason to make a hand disruption card that's this powerful.
1. Koopa
2. Solesticio
3. Flatline
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Whiptail Scorpion: If it weren't for Nissa's Judgment, I would say no to this card. My only complaint is that the flavour text isn't attributed to anyone, and it should be.
Norn's Judgment: I don't think this would ever be printed as a white card. More like a black/green card. Sure it connects to Elesh Norn, but white would not destroy a creature by reducing its toughness to 0.
Immolate the Æther: The last time red could counter a spell (without having any blue in it) is Guttural Response. This is in the same line as Dovescape, except almost no spells are safe. While countering is out of character for red, so is locking down the game. There's almost no way of removing that card.
Burning Fervor: I can understand the explanation, but I think if this was black and red, it would make more sense. The upkeep is more black in flavour than in red.
Sequester: A white version of Remand? I don't think so. White should not have any hard counterspells.
Retributive Volley: The flavour of the card is okay. For the same cost, I can play Retaliate, and, honestly, killing creatures that hurt makes more sense in white than just doing damage.
Grip of the Censor: The closest thing black got to stopping a spell this way is Conjurer's Ban. Still, I'm afraid I can't see the merit of your argument. Black keeps spells from being played through discarding and white keeps spells from being played by means of cards like Nevermore.
Top 3
2. Solecticio
3. IcariiFA
Not final until the deadline has passed.
Swath is a solid bleed for both red and black but I do think the card is a little too efficient, given it's hybrid nature.
Norn's Judgement is for sure a break but, like Swath, is too efficient. Still, an interesting break.
Putting flash on a creature doesn't seem like a bleed to me. Even if black or red don't get flash, it doesn't really fit with the spirit of the challenged.
Immolate on the other hand is an awesome break. That said, it is not without its faults. I don't like how it just locks the game out into a slugfest. It should either narrow on which spells it counters or cost more or something.
It's funny because I feel these should be flipped. Transmutation feels like a combination of Polymorph and Transmute Artifact and the fact that blue is the artifact and shapeshifting color makes this almost feel like a card that is IN color. Mind Needle, on the other hand, seems like a break more than a bleed. Yes, blue has had discarding, but never in a selective sort of way.
Trap with Branches is a solid bleed. Green has had these Pacifism effects before with good flavor and this fits.
Burning Fervor feels like a red card without the the taxing and the taxing doesn't make it feel like a break, but rather just a weaker version of a interesting red card.
Invasive Ooze seems in color. Green has gotten plenty of these self-clone effects and this is just a splashier version.
Sequester is a solid design and a slice of whites pie that I wish would be explored more often. I feel this might be slightly more of a bleed than a break but it's close.
Analysis fits the bleed challenge well enough. It feels a little too blue to be honest, but interacting with the graveyard is just subtle enough.
While has had plenty of "kill after damamge" spells and has even had Retaliate. I could see this being a bleed, but not a break.
Whereas Raikou had a white counter that really felt white, this one has a counter that is similar to Dash Hopes but painted white. I don't know if I like this kind of effect in white as punisher cards have been in red and black for the most part. This is closer to a break than a bleed.
Grip feels like a weird combination of an exiling discard spell and Lobotomy. Either way, this card feels mechanically more like a bleed than a break.
1) Flatline
2) Solecticio
3) Asrama
BGStandard Green AggroGB
UWRGModern Saheeli CobraGRWU
UBRGLegacy StormGRBU
Wizards Certified Rules Advisor
Bleed: I agree balck has some control creautres precedent, but it's been in vampires (super-flavorful) and in Planar Chaos. I guess a demonic possession would be another explanation, and I like the concept. The card itself, though, seems too strong.
Break: I do not agree this is a break. Green is able to to this, specially to creatures with flying. Adding deathtouch makes it a machine gun, which makes it probably too cheap for green (It's so much more efficient than Royal Assassin, a black staple for this effect).
Bleed: The two colors bleed into each other, but because you designed a multicolor card, it feels kinda cheating...I guess your argument is that, casting with RR gives -1/-1 counters to red, and casting with BB gives pyroclasm (not really) to black. The precedents are set specific, which doesn't invalidate them, but makes me think twice about their validity.
Break: Crovax (Planar Chaos) and Elesh Nord (New Phyrexia, that has a Planar Chaos feeling) are two precedents. Bad ones. Flanking, though, is a good one. In combat, the two effects are about the same, so it boils down to how it works as removal, which white has as efficient. The real question is how much of a break this is for white, and I have a hard time to justify this, as the "excuse" is set specific.
Bleed: It's not flash so much that bothers me (although a flashy vampire seems really werid), but the second ability, that feels so white..I'd considered it a break, for these two reasons together.
Break: Not much to say here..I love it. Maybe I'm biased, because I also looked into red enchantments, but you did a really good job here.
Bleed: I do not agree this is just a bend. Two of the examples are from two weird sets (Planar Chaos and New Phyrexia that has a similar feeling), and none of those have selection, rather just discard. Even the third has no selection, but looks for a super-specific type to begin with. This is super efficient for blue, and doesn't feel right at all. I think it'd be more acceptable with a higher cost, even if less playable then.
Break: This is Shape Anew, chepaer and that exiles instead of making sacrifice.
Bleed: Green copies things, but usually it is associated with combat or just tokens (populate). This doesn't feel totally green, but it's acceptable. The card itself, though, is super strong, because you can only exile it.
Break: This is Remand, cheaper, but with card disadvantage. It's probably too good for constructed, but power level aside, I get behind this break.
Bleed: I'm not sure if this is just a bend. There's a difference between caring about dead creatures (blue zombies are ok) and just used cards (delve, usually fuelled with spells, ok in blue). It doesn't feel blue at all, I'm afraid.
Break: Worse Retaliate? Funny enough, I consider this a bend and not a break. If only your entries were swapped, you could have here a winning submission.
Bleed: Dash Hopes revisited. It feels white, and I'm between bend and break, because white doesn't have hard counters. I guess it's not that hard because the controller alwyas have a choice (and because of that it won't see play :p), but it's a fine line.
Break: I disagree discard isn't powerful anymore, Thoughtseize in last Standard proved exactly the opposite, even with Delve and Den Protector around. Regarding the card, it's a huge break imo. It still doesn't feel black, even if it boils down to discard (although it invalidates future copies, and doing this for every opponent can be even more powerful).
1. Koopa
2. Asrama
3. RaikouRider
This was for sure one of the hardest challenges ever, I can only imagine the following. Specially because it's so hard to find what has been done or not, and precedents for some concepts. I'm sure everyone learned a lot from this experience!
Right now just for Asrama and Moss:
I don't see the confusion in the green card. That meaning requires the word "total" - see Formidable or Mossbridge Troll and Reveillark specifically. I agree that it should be "two creatures other than enchanted creature", but I didn't want to complicate even more, and I guess the trapped individual could exert some force as well?
I also don't get the "more black flavor/effect" references in the second one. Could you help me here?
Thought of the Month:
I gave up from trying to require the 'i' on my name: SolesticIo
Koopa:
Scorpion certainly is a break. You didn't provide any real justification for it. If you're going to do a color break, you need to explain what kind of environment or color pie needs warrant it, not just explain why it is a break.
Flatline:
Norns judgement I could potentially see in a Phyerxia set. I still think its a bit too big of a bleed, but the thought process is sound and I like the design.
Asrama:
I like the idea of countering in red to make something a pure energy, damage spell. I do not like it being an enchantment that counters everything going forward, putting the game on lock down. It's a terribly unfun card. Odd are if you're going to play it, you're going to win with it the turn you cast it.
Moss_Elemental:
Thought dissector meets polymorph? Sure, that doesn't bother me. In fact, this doesn't feel like an actual break. I agree with the sentiment that your first card is closer to a break then this.
Solesticio:
I like your red card, but it just doesn't feel like a break to me. It's not really worded in a way that feels like a tax at all, and delayed additional costs are an any color kind of deal.
RaikouRider
Whiptail Scorpion - I feel almost the same about this card as I did the last one. It just seems wrong for a non-black creature to have such efficient repeated removal. I don't have a problem with it per se, but again, it just seems a bit strong for something that's out of the pie.
Immolate the Aether - I actually really like the idea behind this, although I can't see it ever being printed unless it cost even more. The fact that this basically can not be removed makes it very hard to print.
Relic Transmutation - This almost seems on color to me. I would like it a lot more if it cost more and could target any player.
Burning Fervor - So this basically turns all creatures into Ball Lightning unless their controller pays ? That's pretty cool. The flavor is good too. I'm not sure how balanced it is though. Also, the end quotes should come after the in the card text.
Sequester - I've made this same card but cost it at and put it on a creature. I'm not fully opposed to it being mono-white though, although Wizards probably would be.
Retributive Volley - This is another card that I don't see as much of a break. White already deals damage to attacking creatures, and cards like Reciprocate exist, so this doesn't seem like much of a stretch. Actually it just seems like a weak Retaliate. The flavor is good though. I could actually see this card being printed.
Grip of the Censor - This should just target one player for confusion sake, and would still probably be too good.
2nd: Koopa
3rd: Selesticio
Possession has a solid enough flavor. I know enslave is mot probably the best precedent, but the fact that it was reprinted is in your favor.
The scorpion, while looking in color, would sit there killing stuff turn after turn. I like what you did here, but I'm quite positive this needs a power level tweak because this card as it is is simply too powerful for green. One of the things to take into account when breaking or bleeding is that limitations should be taken into consideration.
Swath reminds me a bit too much to a mix of puncture blast and Evincar's Justice, but I really feel they could be printed in either color. More than a bleed, this is one of the hybrids that pushes the color pie just a tiny bit, really not enough to look surprising.
With Norn's judgement we have the problem of Norn already being kind of a version of a colorshift of Ascendant Evincar into Crovax, ascendant hero . Norn's judgement is a bit too clean as an effect to look white, but sure, the reference helps here. This challenge is hard to judge because one has to go past the first impression of out of color shock to think the card throught, and I do feel that ultimately it works: White is the color of removal, and there are precendents of power shrinking (Sword dancer, ivory charm, etc) and even some extremely rare toughness shriking (Serra's Boon, Gore Vassal). Flanking itself can be also taken as a precedent. I feel a bit stupid citing precedents when what we are looking for is an exciting or at least prolix bleed.
Melovarn just looks a lot in color. flash is not that rare in red, it even appears in some auras.
Inmolate the Aether reminds me a lot of Possibility Storm, and I think you made a good choice on how to deal with the challenge. The card itself needs some tweaking, because once it hits the battlefield there's almost no way to remove it.
I like Mind Needle. It does an effect that has bled into blue before and the limitation tunes it with blue intentions and posibilities, as blue is the color that can deal with instants and sorceries the most.
Relic transmutation just looks too much in color. Morphing stuff is blue, but also is artifact manipulation. This could have been used very well on your own artifacts too.
Trapped with branches just looks too much like Arachnus web. The tweak is a bit confusing.
I'm quite positive the quotations marks are meant to be put where they are as to make the trigger work once. The effect is fine but a bit too minor.
Again, I need to work against my own reasoning a bit here with your first card. I think this is fine as a bleed. there have been some effects of creature copying in green (populate aside, take into account that white does it too, but this is because they are the color that care bout tokens). The cards needs some tweaking to be safe, though
As for the break, I'm more of the idea of white countering as a bleed (see my exp), but since there's still a lot of reactions to white counters (even when they happened and kind of worked without killing the game), I can take it as a break. The cards looks great, as it has the clause that prevents you for playing a card that's very white.
Blue caring about creature in the graveyard can be taken as a bleed, as I stated in my explanation for grip of the censor, graveyard has become so resourceful that this kind of effect barely make a difference.
I don't see a break int he Volley, it punishes attackers with damage, which is something whote has done since D'Avenant archer
The standings are Late, but I'm not sure they would have changed things much
1. Raikou Rider
2. Koopa
3. Solesticio
Are you designing commons? Check out my primer on NWO.
Interested in making a custom set? Check out my Set skeleton and archetype primer.
I also write articles about getting started with custom card creation.
Go and PLAYTEST your designs, you will learn more in a single playtests than a dozen discussions.
My custom sets:
Dreamscape
Coins of Mercalis [COMPLETE]
Exodus of Zendikar - ON HOLD
Koopa
Solesticio
RaikouRider
Flatline
Are you designing commons? Check out my primer on NWO.
Interested in making a custom set? Check out my Set skeleton and archetype primer.
I also write articles about getting started with custom card creation.
Go and PLAYTEST your designs, you will learn more in a single playtests than a dozen discussions.
My custom sets:
Dreamscape
Coins of Mercalis [COMPLETE]
Exodus of Zendikar - ON HOLD