MTG Salvation

Diabolic Persuasion 1BB
Sorcery
Choose target creature you don't control. Its controller searches his or her library for a card, then reveals it and put it on the hand. That player shuffles their library. Then, you gain control of that target. (This effect lasts indefinitely.)
"Humans! The angels look at you and see pigs! But I see the true potential of humenity! Join us in our fight!" - Ursula, Demon Empress


Next:
"It's easier to kill two birds with one stone if you just find a really big stone." - Chandra Nalaar
"You are but a ship in a bottle caught in the eye of the storm." - Nicol Bolas
Asou quickly found the barbarian's counseling very persuasive.

Utter Dismissal 1UB
Instant
Coutner target spell. Its controller discards a card and loses 1 life.
"You are but a ship in a bottle caught in the eye of the storm." - Nicol Bolas

Next:
In war's wake, hope is perhaps the most powerful weapon of all.
Avacyn found new and interesting ways to kill mortals over time. It amde her laugh.
"Look ma - no hands!" - Truk the goblin, last words.

[b]Reckless Stunt[/mana] 1R
Instant
Target creature you control gets +4/+0 and haste until end of turn.
Sacrifice that creature at the beginning of the end step.
"Look ma - no hands!" - Truk the Goblin, Last Words

Next:
The demons saw humanity to be exploited. The Vampires and Werewolves saw humanity as prey. The angels saw humanity as a scourge upon the plane.
Upon the destruction of their homes, the vampires took to the more bestial impulses for their cravings of flesh and blood.
The only wish for sleep in Innistrad is that they don't come back from the first long one.

Stormkirk Feral 1RG
Creature - Vampire Shaman
Whenever ~ deals combat damage to an opponent, put two +1/+1 counter on ~.
Upon the destruction of their homes, the vampires took to the more bestial impulses for their cravings of flesh and blood.
1/1

Next:
One cockroach is a pest. A thousend Cockroaches is a plauge.
Kerl could only watch in horror as his brains melted from his ears.
Humanity didn't take long to regroup against Avacyn and her angels. They realized that from now on, the only ones they have to depend on are themselves.

Witness Death 1B
Sorcery

Target creature gets -2/-2 until end of turn and its controller loses 2 life. If that creature dies this turn, its controller discards a card.
"Kerl could only watch in horror as his brains melted from his ears"

Next
Only the wisest turn over the same stone twice
Fools. You will never know the true Liliana, she is far older than you, she is far older than this plane itself.
Turn your face away from the light of day

Reconsider U
Instant
Look at the top and bottom card of your library, put one into your hand and the other on the top or the bottom of your library.
Only the wisest turn over the same stone twice.

Next
Grut was a real half-wit and as such, the smartest goblin in his tribe.
Their blades met, but there was no clash of steel, only the hiss of sand.
"You're not worth my time, or any time for that matter!" - Andor, Chronomage

Temporal Displacement 2U
Instant
Exile target spell or non-land permanent with three time counters on it. If it doesn't have suspend, it gains suspend.
"You're not worth my time, or any time for that matter!" - Andor, Chronomage

Next:
Not all Goblins are stupid, some are only half as stupid.
Some witches aren't all bad. After pledging your servitude to them, some treat their servants like lovers and friends rather than household help.
Strength magnified. Brain function diminished.

Primal Nature GUB
Enchantment
All creatures get +2/+1.
All activated abilities on creatures cost 2 more to activate.
Strength magnified. Brain function diminished.

"I don't like big words."
"That doesn't allow you to make up words in their stead." -conversation between master and apprentice

When Up becomes yellow, and yesterday becomes the squishy feeling between your toes, you realize- you've have too many mushrooms.

Deny Intellect (R/G)
Instant
Counter target blue instant or sorcery spell.
'I don't like big words.'

'Ruin and rot follow in its wake.'
'From the grave to the cradle.'
'It's whispers are like the songs of long lost loved ones. They're the last thing you'll ever hear.'

Grave Rebirth 1BG
Sorcery
As an additional cost to play ~, exile a creature card in your graveyard.
Reveal the top cards of your library until you reveal a creature card. Put that card into the battlefield and put the rest into your graveyard.
From grave to cradle.

Next:
"No? You won't talk? Maybe your worst nightmares will!" - Braids, Cabal Minion
Sarah came home, not to the hellos of her children, but to their unhallowed moans.
"No! I'm the king and my reign is eternal!" - Brago, Last Words

Final Retribution W
Instant
Exile target creature that dealt damage to you this turn.
"No! I'm the king and my reign is eternal!" - Brago, Last Words

Next:
"I dislike your face. You'll need a new one."
"Bolas is a childish imp. Ignore him." -Arcades Sabboth
Anaver could only watch as his home and family were swallowed.

Deface 2R
Sorcery

Deal 3 damage to target creature and its controller.
"I dislike your face. You'll need a new one"


Next
Violence solves everything
Whose shadow causes the flowers to blossom and the rivers to flow
It was as big as a mountain and as black as the night!

Brutality 2RR
Enchantment
Flash
Damage cannot be prevented.
Players cannot gain life.
Violence solves everything.

Next:
The quietest footsteps outlast the loudest of thuds.
As Spring comes the Snow fades away and life begins anew.
The angel thought she was doing her duty. The gods thought otherwise.

Thaw and Grow GG
Sorcery
As an additional cost to cast ~ sacrifice a land.
Search your library for a land card or creature card with converted mana cost 3 or less, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle your library. If you sacrificed a snow land to cast ~, you may put the revealed card onto the battlefield tapped.
As Spring comes the Snow fades away and life begins again.

Next
"No more could a single thread choke a dragon, than could you alone defeat the Legions. As it is only many strands that make a noose, so too must we stand together against these fiends." - Kol, Guru of the Rivers

THE END.

Faced with the crushing revelation of her complete insignificance she welcomed death.

Inevitable Downfall (2/B)W
Instant
Exile target legendary creature, planeswalker, or creature with power 5 or greater.
Faced with the crushing revelation of her complete insignificance she welcomed death.


Next:
"Look, no hands!"
It wasn't long before Ibix regretted her decision.
"Leave not a breathing thing as far as you can see."

Invisible Menace 3UU
Creature- Illusion Horror
Shroud
Invisible Menace can't be blocked.
Whenever Invisible Menace deals combat damage to a player, that player puts that many cards from the top of his or her library into his or her graveyard.
"Mommy, there's a monster in my bed."
2/3

Next:

• "You can't do this to me!! I am the KING!!"
• "From the bite outa me shovel, I'd say it were atogs."
• "We're moving."
• Phyrexia always forgives its devoted, though it may not always use their parts in the same way.

Reprint version: Sadistic Glee
New card version:

Constant Pain BR
Enchantment- Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature has "At the beginning of your upkeep, this creature deals 1 damage to its controller." And
"Whenever this creature attacks or blocks, it deals 3 damage to its controller."
"You squirm most magnificently!" -Tibalt

Next:
"Bring another."
"Ignore the dragon, it is of no consequence."
"Are you sure this used to be Zali?"

Graveyard Coroner 1UB
Creature - Human Wizard
2 Exile a Creature card in your graveyard: Investigate.
2/2
"Bring another."

Next:
"You must be truly mad to come to ask for her aid!"
"Dear, dear, heroes are just made up to make you feel better when I snap your neck in half."
Experiment log: 2-31 A: The implants are working well. I can breathe underwater with no ill effects at all. - Academy Journal, Last Entry

Twisted Sea-Dweller 4UUB
Creature - Horror
Hexproof
Sacrifice a creature: Target creature you control becomes a Horror and gains hexproof.
Experiment log: 2-31 A: The implants are working well. I can breathe underwater with no ill effects at all. - Academy Journal, Last Entry
7/5

Next:
"Oh, the four of us are going to have so, much, FUN..."
You can kill the body, but the soul will haunt you forever.
"Free will is an ilness. Allow me to rid you of it."

Dominate Will 2UUU
Enchantment - Aura
Enchanted Creature
You control Enchanted Creature.
Madness 1UU
"Free will is an illness. Allow me to rid you of it."

Next:
"I don't suppose you have a bigger knife to skin this thing's hide now?"
"The hunt beckons."
"Oh just a sip dear, it won't be painful... I promise you will die quickly."

Oakskin Tusker 2GG
Creature - Boar Beast
G: Oakskin Tusker gets +0/+1 until end of turn.
When Oakskin Tusker dies, you gain life equal to its toughness.
"I don't suppose you have a bigger knife to skin this thing's hide now?"
4/3

Euthanize B
Instant
Target player sacrifices a creature that was dealt damage this turn.
"Oh just a sip dear, it won't be painful... I promise you will die quickly."


Next:
"Madness is just a little bit of suffering away from each one of us." - Tibalt
"If it ain't broke, apply more goblins."
Time sure flies - and sometimes it also strikes from above.

Goblin Raid XRR
Sorcery
Put X 1/1 red goblin warrior creatures onto the battlefield. Each player sacrifices an artifact with converted mana cost X or less.
"If it ain't broke, apply more goblins."


Next:
"On Zendikar??! He's supposed to be the Living Guildpact!"
"This world was fine, but I can do better."
It's easier to part with those without names.

Kitsune Greeting WW
Sorcery - Arcane
Gain 5 life
Splice into Arcane WWW
"I have heard many things, but a fox speak? That is a new one." - Jace Beleren

Next:
Thunder and Lighting are the least of your worries on Valakut.
"We see the product of Avacyn's Madness, but where is the source?" - Tamiyo's Journal. Entry 304
"We hear their voices. And it rings true."

Thunderous Spawning 3RRR
Sorcery
Thunderous Spawning deals 4 damage to target creature, then put a 4/4 red Dragon Elemental creature token with flying on the battlefield.
Landfall - If you had a land enter the battlefield under your control this turn, creatures you control gain haste until end of turn.
Thunder and lightning are the least of your worries on Valakut.

Trace the Ethereal 3UU
Sorcery
Target opponent reveals cards from the top of his or her library until he or she reveals a creature card. You may discard a card. If you do, send the revealed cards to the graveyard and repeat this process. Otherwise return all creatures that opponent controls with converted mana cost equal to or lower than the revealed card's cost to the hand. Send the revealed cards to the graveyard afterwards.
"We see the product of Avacyn's madness, but where is the source?" - Tamiyo's Journal. Entry 304


Next:
Barbarians never have time to explain.
"I could wait for you to die for me to start my magic on you, but you know you should never keep a lady waiting." - Liliana Vess
"Gaze in her light and let yourself be blinded, for you will see the sins and corruption of the world no more."

Timely Breach 3RRR
Sorcery
~ deals 4 damage divided as you choose amongst any number of target creatures. For each creature destroyed this way, put a 1/1 red Barbarian creature token onto the battlefield under your control.
Barbarians never have time to explain.

Next:
Gaze into the light, and know true oppression
Gaze into the mind, and know true madness
Gaze into the darkness, and know true corruption
Gaze into the fires, and know true rage
Gaze into the wilds, and know true stoicness