I need to think on how I feel about this new Garruk. Though to help on your wording
-X: Put X -1/-1 counter on target creature. If that creatures toughness is 0 or less you may activate this ability again as though none of Garruk's loyalty abilities have been activated this turn.
Unfortunately to get what you want of only using his power again if he killed you can't actually check for killing because that will happen at a later time and may even happen long after due to other effects. So you get this awkward yet functional check to see toughness.
Maybe you can consider the overall balance again once I get through all ten planeswalkers.
Speaking of which, here are two more:
Kyleian Jin 3UR
Planeswalker - Kyleian (M)
+2: Until your next turn, whenever Kyleian is dealt damage, Kyleian deals that much damage to target player.
-4: Draw 3 cards and then discard a card. Kyleian deals damage equal to the converted mana cost of the discarded card to target creature or planeswalker.
-10: Exchange your hand and library, then shuffle your library. You lose the game at end of turn.
{4}
Amirae Sylphborn 1WU
Planeswalker - Amirae (M)
+1: Until your next turn, whenever Amirae is dealt damage, create a 1/1 blue Elemental creature with flying.
-2: Put target permanent on top of its owner’s library.
-6: Return all nontoken permanents and permanents without any counters on them to their owners’ hands. Each player chooses up to seven cards in his or her hands, then shuffles the rest into his or her library. Empty all mana pools.
{3}
Kyleian is the mad (see ultimate) genius (cycles through card fast with his -4) that's doesn't like to be touched (see his +2). He's kind of boring though. Maybe you have some ideas?
Amirae is a wind mage. All her powers basically are inspired by what happens if you blow hard enough at the cards on the table. An attacker runs in to Amirae? Poof, a piece of her flies off as an elemental (see +1 ability). A light puff send a permanent back on top of the library (see -2 ability). Her ultimate is basically the big bad wolf huffing and puffing and blowing everyone's house down (cards fly off the table). Well, except like the brick house, such wind doesn't affect heavy stuff such as heavy tokens & cards weighed with heavy counters. You get the idea.
I have three more planewalkers left to do (WB, RG & UB). I will get them initially worded in the next few days.
I really like Amirae, I have to think on their abilities they seem interesting and on color at least for now.
Kyleian seems too strong and too weak. His ultimate 'can' win the game but because he causes you to lose you have to be playing an instant win combo in your deck that is playable just with cards in your deck. Because you are building these cards for a limited environment(cube) you want the ultimates to be valid in that environment and I'm not sure how to modify his ult to make it playable. If you change it completely you might go with some kind of Firemind's Foresight that also casts the cards you find maybe even go the Seasons Past but cast. His + seems too powerful and too weak as well, putting him up to 6 immediately and making him deal damage to players could be devastating or pointless depending on game state. I think you would be better served with a version of Vraska's +, but go blue for him so he has
+2: Until your next turn, whenever a creature deals combat damage to Kyleian Jin, return that creature to its owners hand.
Because he doesn't kill, a higher + than Vraska is doable maybe even +3 if you manage his other abilities cost appropriately. Making his - a cheaper Blast of Genius might be too strong and you should use the same wording
-4: Choose target creature or player. Draw three cards, then discard a card. Kyleian Jin deals damage equal to the discarded card's converted mana cost to that creature or player.
A bit more tweaking to balance Koth. Bolded text is new addition. Crossed-out text is removed stuff.
Koth Reforged 2RW
Planeswalker - Koth (M)
+1: Put a +1/+1 counter on up to one target noncreature basic Mountain or Plains you control and it becomes a 3/3 Elemental creature with defender. It has "If this creature blocks or isn’t blocked, sacrifice it at end of turn." It's still a land.
-2: Creatures you control with defender can attack this turn as though they didn't have defender. Gain 1 life for each defender you control.
-6: You get an emblem with "Whenever a creature with defender you control dies, each opponent loses life equal to its toughness. You gain life equal to total of all life lost this way."
{3}
I am satisfied and would play in RGW Defender.dec. Well done!
I really like Amirae, I have to think on their abilities they seem interesting and on color at least for now.
Kyleian seems too strong and too weak. His ultimate 'can' win the game but because he causes you to lose you have to be playing an instant win combo in your deck that is playable just with cards in your deck. Because you are building these cards for a limited environment(cube) you want the ultimates to be valid in that environment and I'm not sure how to modify his ult to make it playable. If you change it completely you might go with some kind of Firemind's Foresight that also casts the cards you find maybe even go the Seasons Past but cast. His + seems too powerful and too weak as well, putting him up to 6 immediately and making him deal damage to players could be devastating or pointless depending on game state. I think you would be better served with a version of Vraska's +, but go blue for him so he has
+2: Until your next turn, whenever a creature deals combat damage to Kyleian Jin, return that creature to its owners hand.
Because he doesn't kill, a higher + than Vraska is doable maybe even +3 if you manage his other abilities cost appropriately. Making his - a cheaper Blast of Genius might be too strong and you should use the same wording
-4: Choose target creature or player. Draw three cards, then discard a card. Kyleian Jin deals damage equal to the discarded card's converted mana cost to that creature or player.
I think the problem I have with Kyleian is that I don't have a story for him. So I'm fuzzy on how his powers work (together).
So I'll try another approach. Based on your hint of the viability of a "+3 [ability] if yu manage his other ability cost appropriately", I think I'll make Kyleian into a time bomb:
Kyleian Jin 3UR
Planeswalker - Kyleian (M) You can’t win the game if your life total is more than the number of loyalty counters on Kyleian Jin. +2+3: Until your next turn, whenever Kyleian is dealt damage, Kyleian deals that much damage to target playerwhenever a creature deals combat damage to Kyleian Jin, return that creature to its owner's hand. -4: Draw 3 cards and then discard a card. Kyleian deals damage equal to the converted mana cost of the discarded card to target creature or planeswalker. -7: For each nonland permanent, choose a player at random. Then each player gains controls of each permananent for which he or she was chosen. Untap those permanents. -10: Exchange your hand and library, then shuffle your library. You lose the game at end of turn.
-13: You get an emblem with "For the rest of the game, you can't play spells. At the beginning of each of your upkeeps, search target opponent's library for an artifact, creature, enchantment, or land card. Put that card into play under your control. Then that player shuffles his or her library."
{4}
The idea is for a player behind to play this card to buy time. This planeswalker is the opposite of win-more. Opponent needs to focus on taking out Kyleian ASAP (+3 makes Kyleian hard to kill) or the dominant player will likely lose some board presence advantage (-7 ability redistributes some of the dominance). His -7 abilitiy makes it possible for him to become a "hot potato", in which case the "You can’t win the game if your life total is more than the number of loyalty counters on Kyleian Jin" clause will slow things down even more until Kyleian is defused (loyalty counters reduced). Not sure about the ultimate, cost & effect, but I wanted something epic (literally). Also, I think I made Kyleian so convoluted I'm not sure about any balance. Any suggestion about what's good to keep?
Here's the next planeswalker as well:
Elspeth Returned 1WB
Planeswalker - Elspeth (M)
+1: Destroy up to one target creature. Its owner may create a tapped token that’s a copy of that creature except it is a Zombie in addition to its other types.
-1: Exile up to two cards from target player’s graveyard. Put a loyalty counter on Elspeth Returned for each card exiled this way.
-5: Put up to three target creature cards from exile onto the battlefield under your control. Then sacrifice all but one of your creatures.
{3}
Elspeth has returned from the underworld, but she isn't quite herself. She gained mastery over passage to and from the underworld (see her +1, effectively a tapping action and seeding the graveyard to fuel her -1). Most importantly, she learned how to escape the underworld (see her -1, which send stuff into the Blind Eternities & her -5, which brings them back, at great greek tragedy cost).
A bit more tweaking to balance Koth. Bolded text is new addition. Crossed-out text is removed stuff.
Koth Reforged 2RW
Planeswalker - Koth (M)
+1: Put a +1/+1 counter on up to one target noncreature basic Mountain or Plains you control and it becomes a 3/3 Elemental creature with defender. It has "If this creature blocks or isn’t blocked, sacrifice it at end of turn." It's still a land.
-2: Creatures you control with defender can attack this turn as though they didn't have defender. Gain 1 life for each defender you control.
-6: You get an emblem with "Whenever a creature with defender you control dies, each opponent loses life equal to its toughness. You gain life equal to total of all life lost this way."
{3}
I am satisfied and would play in RGW Defender.dec. Well done!
Thank you very much!
Since you mentioned Naya colors, did you notice how well my Melira Reborn synergizes with the new Koth?
I like the new Kyleian Jin because he is simply ridiculous. He seems balanced, but because his abilities are so out there he would require a lot of testing to figure how where his powerlevel is.
Elspeth Returned has a better + than Kaya, Ghost Assassin which means she shouldn't have it or she should also cost 4CMC. I really like her - but you might consider that she exiles more cards but only gets counters for creatures. Her Ult seems interesting but it should probably kill all players' creatures instead of just your own.
I like the new Kyleian Jin because he is simply ridiculous. He seems balanced, but because his abilities are so out there he would require a lot of testing to figure how where his powerlevel is.
Elspeth Returned has a better + than Kaya, Ghost Assassin which means she shouldn't have it or she should also cost 4CMC. I really like her - but you might consider that she exiles more cards but only gets counters for creatures. Her Ult seems interesting but it should probably kill all players' creatures instead of just your own.
For some reason I find doing 3-cost planeswalkers to be so much easier than say 5-cost guys. I don't know what's so hard about UR that makes Kyleian so difficult to lock down. Anyways here's my lastest redo:
Kyleian Jin 3UR
Planeswalker - Kyleian (M) You can’t win the game if your life total is more than the number of loyalty counters on Kyleian Jin. +3: Your next coin flip this turn comes up head. +30: Until your next turn, whenever a creature deals combat damage to Kyleian Jin, return that creature to its owner's hand. -7: For each nonland permanent, choose a player at random. Then each player gains controls of each permananent for which he or she was chosen. Untap those permanents. -13: You get an emblem with "For the rest of the game, you can't play spells. At the beginning of each of your upkeeps, search target opponent's library for an artifact, creature, enchantment, or land card. Put that card into play under your control. Then that player shuffles his or her library." -12: You get an emblem with "Whenever a spell or ability is put onto the stack, if it has a single targer, reselect its target at random. If the new target is different from one originally selected, put a chaos counter on this emblem. At the beginning of your upkeep, if this emble has ten or more chaos counters on it, you win the game."
{4}
I have a story inkling for this latest incarnation, but I don't have enough to write it out now. So I only ask if you can consider the starting loyalty & ability gain/cost numbers (& any wording/templating issues). What values would be more balanced considering his 5 mana cost?
Per your advice, I polished up Elspeth Returned as follows:
Elspeth Returned 1WB
Planeswalker - Elspeth (M)
+1: Destroy up to one target creature. Its owner may create a tapped token that’s a copy of that creature except it is a Zombie in addition to its other types. Its owner gains 1 life and you lose 1 life.
-1: Exile up to twothree cards from target player’s graveyard. Put a loyalty counter on Elspeth Returned for each creature card exiled this way.
-5: Put up to three target creature cards from exile onto the battlefield under your control. Then each player sacrifices all but one of yourhis or her creatures.
{3}
I added the life gain/loss on the +1 to more closely follow Kaya's power level. On the -1 ability I slightly increased number of cards exileable and limited loyalty gain to only creature cards exiled. With the ultimate I made it more like a mini-Tragic Arrogance. You like?
Lastly, my newest planeswalker for you to consider:
Zelene, Fickle Divinity 3RG
Planeswalker - Zelene (M)
+2: Skip your combat phase. Activate this ability only before your combat phase.
-4: Each player discards his or her hand, then draws seven cards. Add X mana in any combination of R and/or G to your mana pool, where X is the number of cards you discarded.
-7: For each nonland permanent, choose a player at random. Then each player gains controls of each permanent for which her or she was chosen. Untap those permanents.
{3}
Zelene is from Theros, long before Zenagos was born. Back then there was still a goddess of love/passion (RG). Before her spark ignited, Zelene was her oracle. One day, a passing planeswalker caught the goddess' eyes. Unfortunately, Zelene caught the planeswalker's eyes. Long story short, in an attempt to save Zelene from certain fate worse than death, that planeswalker left Theros vowing never to return. Still, the goddess didn't take things very well & inflicted on her oracle horrendous mental torture and anguish (something like replaying the Zelene's memories of the breakup/farewell over and over and over again, all the time, both when awake & asleep). Zelene mentally broke down and tried to kill herself, but instead her spark ignited at the critical juncture.
Though she managed to find her way back to Theros, she isn't quite so stable now. Zelene wants to find her planeswalker love again. All her powers originally came from the goddess and she needed divine help. She offered the goddess a deal to travel the multiverse to find the planeswalker by presenting herself as a vessel to carry divinity. She held enough faith in love/passion to sustain the divine essence through different planes. The goddess, perhaps as blinded by love/passion as Zelene was, agreed. Thus, the goddess essence entered Zelene's body and they left Theros together to explore the multiverse.
Once outside of Theros though, both of them discovered their powers changed. The goddess can no longer control Zelene's mind and body. The goddess only affected her subconscious (mostly moods & dreams). Zelene, powered by the divine essence in her, suspected that any return to Theros would re-empower the goddess to her detriment. Thus, she vowed never to return to Theros and still searches the multiverse to this day for her lost love planeswalker. However, the goddess inside isn't one to take thing quietly and has affected Zelene's personality dramatically (through manipulation of the subconscious). Thus, Zelene appears very mercurial and fickle. It will be the greatest irony that when Zelene finds her lost love, she will not be the same person that the lost planeswalker fell in love with.
Does this backstory help you make more sense Zelene's abilities?
Elspeth might still be too strong for 3 mana but I like her more now.
Your new Kyleian Jin is interesting, he is very narrow, which is good and bad. Good because you can push his power significantly, but bad because without the type of card he interacts with his + is useless.
Zelene, Fickle Divinity feels off. Her + doesn't really fit into Red or Green though I can see it as being the cost of something more significant, her + doesn't seem to fit that though. Her -4 is insane, while she can't do it the turn she hits she survives with just one +. Her ult is cute but not really the kind of thing you want to work a planeswalker up to. She is a very heavy control card in non control colors. Her backstory is interesting and I can more or less envision the flavor behind each of her abilities but it actually makes it harder to tweak her powers because anything I can think of right now runs counter to her flavor. You essentially want her to be the consuming passion that embodies the red we never normally see on cards. For her plus I think this will capture her essence better
+2: Tap all creatures and lands. Empty all mana pools. Activate this ability only before combat.
If I understand correctly you wanted some kind of peace through passion. I've shifted to a pseudo exhaustion through the same means. This gives more potential while still having the upfront no attacking.
Elspeth might still be too strong for 3 mana but I like her more now.
Your new Kyleian Jin is interesting, he is very narrow, which is good and bad. Good because you can push his power significantly, but bad because without the type of card he interacts with his + is useless.
Zelene, Fickle Divinity feels off. Her + doesn't really fit into Red or Green though I can see it as being the cost of something more significant, her + doesn't seem to fit that though. Her -4 is insane, while she can't do it the turn she hits she survives with just one +. Her ult is cute but not really the kind of thing you want to work a planeswalker up to. She is a very heavy control card in non control colors. Her backstory is interesting and I can more or less envision the flavor behind each of her abilities but it actually makes it harder to tweak her powers because anything I can think of right now runs counter to her flavor. You essentially want her to be the consuming passion that embodies the red we never normally see on cards. For her plus I think this will capture her essence better
+2: Tap all creatures and lands. Empty all mana pools. Activate this ability only before combat.
If I understand correctly you wanted some kind of peace through passion. I've shifted to a pseudo exhaustion through the same means. This gives more potential while still having the upfront no attacking.
I think if I lowered Elspeth Returned's starting loyalty by 1, it helps address your concern about her power level.
As for Kyleian Jin, here's the latest iteration:
Kyleian Jin 3UR
Planeswalker - Kyleian (M)
+3: Your next coin flip this turn comes up head.Until Kyleian Jin leaves the battlefield or end of turn, whichever comes first, each opponent plays with his or her hand revealed. 0: Until your next turn, whenever a creature deals combat damage to Kyleian Jin, return that creature to its owner's hand. -5: Draw 3 cards and then discard a card. Kyleian Jin deals damage equal to the converted mana cost of the discarded card to target creature or player.
-12: You get an emblem with "Whenever a spell or ability is put onto the stack, if it has a single targer, reselect its target at random. If the new target is different from one originally selected, put a chaos counter on this emblem. At the beginning of your upkeep, if this emblem has ten or more chaos counters on it, you win the game." {4}{5}
The problem with old Kyleian is once he ultimates & gets that emblem, he's pretty much inconsequential. The new idea is that Kyleian will be most useful with his middle, -5 ability (a lightly cheaper Blast of Genius). His defense is primarily his high starting loyalty and high +3 loyalty gain. To balance out the high +3 loyalty gain, that ability is the somewhat innocuous "opponents play with hand revealed". I'm sticking with the ultimate since I like the alternate victory condition and will work that into his backstory. I appreciate your thought & your patience with me on fixing this guy.
Lastly, in light of what you correctly described as the RG portfolio, I'm revising Zelene to emphasize the losing-one's-mind part of passion, rather than peace & love (love & hate are simply different sides of the same coin). Thus there's synergy with haste things (heated emotion) & loyalty manipulation based on decisions whether to attack (act on heated emotion). However, as you will see below, I having big problems with wording:
Zelene, Fickle Divinity 3RG
Planeswalker - Zelene (M) +2: Skip your combat phase. Activate this ability only before your combat phase. +2: If all creatures opponents control are tapped, skip your attack phase. Otherwise, until end of turn, creatures you control gain haste and has "This creature attacks each turn if able." Activate this ability only before your combat phase. -4: Each player discards his or her hand, then draws seven cards. Add X mana in any combination of R and/or G to your mana pool, where X is the number of cards you discarded. -2: Until your next turn, all creatures opponents control gain haste. Put a loyalty counter on Zelene, Fickle Divinity for each creature with haste that attacks. -7: For each nonland permanent, choose a player at random. Then each player gains controls of each permanent for which her or she was chosen. Untap those permanents. -5: If you didn’t attack last turn and this turn with any creatures, then you may choose to have target opponent untap all his or her creatures and then attack with them all or skip his or her next combat phase. Activate this ability only after your combat phase.
{3}
First, I need to change her name. "Fickle Divinity" isn't quite right. Something more to show the two-faced nature of passion (love/hate) is better.
Second, the idea with the +2 is encourage acting out on emotion, resulting in attack if there is anyone (untapped creatures controlled by opponent) to focus on. That is carried over to the -2 ability where attacks are encourage via haste (Zelene likes it when creatures act out their hasted passion in attacks, thus increaing her loyalty), but offset by possibility of how much loyalty Zelene may gain. There is tension between the +2 & -2 abilities as to which may net Zelene more loyalty counters. The +2 is more conservative, but the -2 holds greater reward for greater risk.
Lastly, I purposely made Zelene's ultimate low-cost enough to be possibly used repeatedly. The low-cost is offset by requirement of giving up attacks in consecutive turns. The idea is if you can give up the chance to attack two turns (not so inconsequential for a RG player), you can control whether and how an opponent attacks next turn.
Again, I greatly thank you for your comments. You have been tremendous help.
Kyleian Jin finally is starting to look like a card I would play. The + is a perfectly fine minuscule effect, while his other abilities aren't broken. I still have a little problem with him occasionally being a cheaper Blast of Genius(and you should really copy its text for this effect), but its not broken so its probably fine.
If you want a more love/hate thing going on for Zelene her + should probably just be
+2: Until your next turn all creatures have haste and must attack or block each combat if able.
This feels more like the impassioned rage that you are looking for. Though it makes her - redundant. You might want to try something weird like
0: Until your next turn all creatures have haste and must attack or block each combat if able. Until your next turn whenever a creature attacks put a loyalty counter on Zelene, Fickle Divinity.
This plays up an interesting dynamic of do you play your creatures post combat to give you blockers or do you rush the field to build her loyalty.
I don't think her ult works, your opponent can't attack during your turn. If you go with what I've said and fuse her current + and - then you can give her a new - of untap gain an additional combat phase to play up her insistence on combat(impassioned violence). Then if you want her ult to be a Master Warcraft(I'm not sure it should due to color concerns) you can go with a more expensive emblem.
-10: You get an emblem with "Creatures you control have haste.", "All creatures attack and block each combat if able." and "You choose how creatures block."
Kyleian Jin finally is starting to look like a card I would play. The + is a perfectly fine minuscule effect, while his other abilities aren't broken. I still have a little problem with him occasionally being a cheaper Blast of Genius(and you should really copy its text for this effect), but its not broken so its probably fine.
If you want a more love/hate thing going on for Zelene her + should probably just be
+2: Until your next turn all creatures have haste and must attack or block each combat if able.
This feels more like the impassioned rage that you are looking for. Though it makes her - redundant. You might want to try something weird like
0: Until your next turn all creatures have haste and must attack or block each combat if able. Until your next turn whenever a creature attacks put a loyalty counter on Zelene, Fickle Divinity.
This plays up an interesting dynamic of do you play your creatures post combat to give you blockers or do you rush the field to build her loyalty.
I don't think her ult works, your opponent can't attack during your turn. If you go with what I've said and fuse her current + and - then you can give her a new - of untap gain an additional combat phase to play up her insistence on combat(impassioned violence). Then if you want her ult to be a Master Warcraft(I'm not sure it should due to color concerns) you can go with a more expensive emblem.
-10: You get an emblem with "Creatures you control have haste.", "All creatures attack and block each combat if able." and "You choose how creatures block."
Good to get a positive sign about this iteration of Kyleian. To address your concern about him being a cheaper Blast of Genius, I tweaked that -5 ability a little to make it a bit worse:
Kyleian Jin 3UR
Planeswalker - Kyleian (M)
+3: Until Kyleian Jin leaves the battlefield or end of turn, whichever comes first, each opponent plays with his or her hand revealed.
-5: Choose target creature or player. Discard a card, then draw three cards. Kyleian Jin deals damage equal to the discarded card’s converted mana cost to that creature or player.
-12: You get an emblem with “Whenever a spell or ability is put onto the stack, if it has a single target, reselect its target at random. If the new target is different from one originally selected, put a chaos counter on this emblem. At the beginning of your upkeep, if this emblem has ten or more chaos counters on it, you win the game.”
{5}
With respect to Zelene, I hesitate to have her ultimate being a non-cumulative emblem. Otherwise, Zelene will suffer the same problem as the earlier Kyleian, becoming inconsequential with her other abilities just building more and more loyalty. There needs to be a meaningful - cost ability to eat up the loyalty gains and create tension whether to build more loyalty or cash out.
Thus, taking your ideas under advisement, I have this revision:
Zelene, Fickle Divinity 3RG
Planeswalker - Zelene (M) +2: If all creatures opponents control are tapped, skip your attack phase. Otherwise, until end of turn, creatures you control gain haste and has "This creature attacks each turn if able." Activate this ability only before your combat phase. -20: Until your next turn, all creatures opponents control gainhave haste and must attack or block each combat if able. Until your next turn whenever a creature attacksPutput a loyalty counter on Zelene, Fickle Divinity for each creature with haste that attacks. -1: Choose two target creatures not controlled by the same player. Until your next turn one chosen creature gains trample and the other gains first strike. -5: If you didn’t attack last turn and this turn with any creatures, then you may choose to have target opponent untap all his or her creatures and then attack with them all or skip his or her next combat phase. Activate this ability only after your combat phase. -5: Until your next turn, prevent all combat damage that would be dealt. At end of each player's combat phase, gain 1 life for each creature that player controls that didn't attack.
{3}
The 0 ability merges the two suggestions you made previously (since they were almost redundant). That is the "hate" ability. The "ultimate" (not so ultimate, actually, since it is easy to achieve) is the "love" ability. Basically, Fog plus life gain. The new -1 ability is something in between love and hate (courtship, maybe?). It would be entertaining to see how people play out the target selection and attack/defense scenarios with this ability.
The big problem is the atrocious wording. Any suggestions?
I almost finished the last planeswalker. I will post Ob Nixilis, Mastermind (UB) next time.
I am very happy with the change to Kyleian seems almost perfect now.
I like the new Zelene, but I think with that ult and those stats she might be too weak. Leave almost everything the same but try her at 6 starting loyalty and her ult only stops combat damage to players, so there is tension in them attacking. Unless you were going for lower powerlevel, in that case leave her be.
I am very happy with the change to Kyleian seems almost perfect now.
I like the new Zelene, but I think with that ult and those stats she might be too weak. Leave almost everything the same but try her at 6 starting loyalty and her ult only stops combat damage to players, so there is tension in them attacking. Unless you were going for lower powerlevel, in that case leave her be.
Got it!
Here's the last planeswalker for your consideration:
Ob Nixilis, Mastermind 4UB
Planeswalker - Ob Nixilis (M)
+2: Target player reveals his or her hand and may exile up to three permanents and/or cards from his or her hand. Remove a loyalty counter from Ob Nixilis, Mastermind for each permanent or card exiled.
-4: Gain control of target permanent.
-10: Search target player’s library and hand for up to X cards, where X is the number of permanents he or she controls, and exile them. Then that player shuffles his or her library. You may put one card exiled this way onto the battlefield under your control.
{5}
Story is Ob Nixilis has nursing a grudge against the Gatewatch. Now that he is free to impress himself on the multiverse again, he curiously has retreated back into the shadows. It turns out his lockdown on Zendikar has taught him patience and preparation. Insufficient amounts of which, he now believes, led to his defeat by upstart planeswalkers. So Ob Nixilis is evolving to be a mastermind, a master of the stage where he cannot be surprised again.
To this end, the new Ob Nixilis is much more cool-headed and has acquired blue mana mastery. His abilities all reflect his knowledge and control over puppets (-4 & -10 abilities). If he plays his hand right, opponents will not suspect where he is going. Otherwise, Ob Nixilis could be stopped (see +2, where it is possible for opponent to cause Ob Nixilis to lose loyalty).
For his mana cost, I think the starting loyalty and ability cost numbers may be ok. Though he doesn't have any particularly strange or different abilities (compared to my previous nine planeswalkers), he fills the UB portfolio sufficiently. What do you think?
At six his blanket gain control should kill him whether you want to increase the abilities cost or decrease his starting loyalty is up to you. Permanent control is usually more restricted(Confiscation Coup) or cost more with benefit(Blatant Thievery).
He already was a mastermind, a master of the stage where he cannot be surprised again. The only thing that surprised him was never before seen magic(herdons) and others(Nahiri) being significantly more powerful than him. Your portfolio describes Ob as exactly the same as he was first introduced, while I could see him leaning either red or blue you haven't really evolved his character as much as you did the other reintroduced walkers.
Other than that I like this incarnation of Ob, he plays well and doesn't seem over or under powered.
At six his blanket gain control should kill him whether you want to increase the abilities cost or decrease his starting loyalty is up to you. Permanent control is usually more restricted(Confiscation Coup) or cost more with benefit(Blatant Thievery).
He already was a mastermind, a master of the stage where he cannot be surprised again. The only thing that surprised him was never before seen magic(herdons) and others(Nahiri) being significantly more powerful than him. Your portfolio describes Ob as exactly the same as he was first introduced, while I could see him leaning either red or blue you haven't really evolved his character as much as you did the other reintroduced walkers.
Other than that I like this incarnation of Ob, he plays well and doesn't seem over or under powered.
OK I have all ten color pairs of planeswalkers now. 5 new characters & 5 evolved versions of existing planeswalkers.
My concern now is which ones stick out, underpowered & overpowered, relative to each other.
Generally, I'm not concerned about high power, but narrow focus, planeswalkers. I like to minimize high power general purpose types like Jace the Mind Sculptor.
Please take what time you may be able to spare and look these ten guys over. I am very appreciative of all your help. These guys would not be in concrete form without your input.
Koth Reforged 2RW
Planeswalker - Koth (M)
+1: Put a +1/+1 counter on up to one target noncreature Mountain or Plains you control and it becomes a 3/3 Elemental creature with defender. It has "If this creature attacks or blocks, sacrifice it at end of turn." It's still a land.
-2: Creatures you control with defender can attack this turn as though they didn't have defender.
-6: You get an emblem with "Whenever a creature with defender you control dies, each opponent loses life equal to its toughness. You gain life equal to total of all life lost this way."
{3}
Melira Reborn 2GW
Planeswalker - Melira (M)
+1: Until your next turn, up to one target creature gains lifelink and defender.
-X: Choose up to X target permanents, players, and/or cards with counters on them. Remove up to X counters from each of those targets. Gain 1 life for each counter removed this way.
-8: You get an emblem with "At the beginning of your upkeep, if you have 40 or more life, you win the game."
{2}
Rashmi, Eternities Researcher 1GU
Planeswalker - Rashmi (M)
+1: Each player exiles the top card of his or her library. Choose a land card in exile, you may play it this turn.
-3: Create a tapped token that’s a copy of target nontoken nonland artifact you control.
-6: You get an emblem with “X: Exile target nonland permanent with converted mana cost X or less. Activate this ability only any time you could cast a sorcery." and “X: Cast target face-up noninstant, nonsorcery card in exile with converted mana cost X or less. Activate this ability only any time you could cast a sorcery."
{3}
Tibalt, the Masochist 1BR
Planeswalker - Tibalt (M)
+1: Any player may have Tibalt, the Masochist deal 1 damage to him or her. If no one does, choose a player, that player discards a card and then may draw a card.
-3: Each player loses life equal to number of cards in his or her hands.
-5: Gain control of all creatures and planeswalkers until end of your next turn. Untap them and any creatures gain haste until end of turn.
{2}
Garruk Consumed 2BG
Planeswalker - Garruk (M)
+1: Put a -1/-1 counter on up to one target creature and it gains deathtouch.
-1: Until end of turn, whenever a permanent is put into the graveyard, place a loyalty counter on Garruk Consumed for each counter that was on that permanent.
-X: Put X -1/-1 counters on target creature. If that creature’s toughness is 0 or less, you may activate this ability again as though none of this planeswalker’s loyalty abilities have been activated this turn.
{4}
Kyleian Jin 3UR
Planeswalker - Kyleian (M)
+3: Until Kyleian Jin leaves the battlefield or end of turn, whichever comes first, each opponent plays with his or her hand revealed.
-5: Choose target creature or player. Discard a card, then draw three cards. Kyleian Jin deals damage equal to the discarded card’s converted mana cost to that creature or player.
-12: You get an emblem with “Whenever a spell is put onto the stack, if it has a single target, reselect its target at random. Put a chaos counter on this emblem. At the beginning of your upkeep, if it has ten or more chaos counters on it, you win the game.”
{5}
Amirae Sylphborn 1WU
Planeswalker - Amirae (M)
+1: Until your next turn, whenever Amirae is dealt damage, create a 1/1 blue Elemental creature token with flying.
-2: Put target permanent on top of its owner’s library.
-6: Return all nontoken permanents and permanents without any counters on them to their owners’ hands. Each player chooses up to seven cards in his or her hands, then shuffles the rest into his or her library. Empty all mana pools.
{3}
Elspeth Returned 1WB
Planeswalker - Elspeth (M)
+1: Destroy up to one target creature. Its owner may create a tapped token that’s a copy of that creature except it is a Zombie in addition to its other types. Its owner gains 1 life and you lose 1 life.
-1: Exile up to three cards from target player’s graveyard. Put a loyalty counter on Elspeth Returned for each creature card exiled this way.
-5: Put up to three target creature cards from exile onto the battlefield under your control. Then each player sacrifices all but one of his or her creatures.
{2}
Zelene, Divine Dichotomy 3RG
Planeswalker - Zelene (M)
0: Until your next turn, all creatures have haste and must attack or block each combat if able. Until your next turn, whenever a creature attacks put a loyalty counter on Zelene, Divine Dichotom.
-1: Choose two target creatures not controlled by the same player. Until your next turn, one chosen creature gains trample and the other gains first strike.
-5: Until your next turn, prevent all combat damage that would be dealt to players. At end of each player’s combat phase, gain 1 life for each creature that player controls that didn’t attack.
{6}
Ob Nixilis, In The Shadows 4UB
Planeswalker - Ob Nixilis (M)
+2: Target player reveals his or her hand and may exile up to three permanents and/or cards from his or her hand. Remove a loyalty counter from Ob Nixilis, In The Shadows for each permanent or card exiled.
-5: Gain control of target permanent.
-10: Search target player’s library and hand for up to X cards, where X is the number of permanents he or she controls, and exile them. Then that player shuffles his or her library. You may put one card exiled this way onto the battlefield under your control.
{5}
The stand outs as the weakest are Tibalt and Melira, though Melira gets a lot stronger if counters are significantly relevant in your format. I think Tibalt needs to be at least 2 damage on his plus maybe even 3.
Edits after looking some more:
Garruk's + has memory problems but its not too bad just problematic. I think he should start 1 higher on loyalty so he really threatens a wrath when he hits.
When I read Kyleian Jin's + I had assumed it was until your next turn. It seems kind of pointless to have them stay revealed, there are obvious circumstances where it would be useful but because they aren't common it adds extra confusion with little gain, either change it till your next turn or switch it to just reveal on activate.
Amirae Sylphborn keeps looking stronger the more I read, but it doesn't seem excessive so it might be fine. Edit: Nevermind I had read you get a spirit for each point of damage, its fine.
The stand outs as the weakest are Tibalt and Melira, though Melira gets a lot stronger if counters are significantly relevant in your format. I think Tibalt needs to be at least 2 damage on his plus maybe even 3.
Edits after looking some more:
Garruk's + has memory problems but its not too bad just problematic. I think he should start 1 higher on loyalty so he really threatens a wrath when he hits.
When I read Kyleian Jin's + I had assumed it was until your next turn. It seems kind of pointless to have them stay revealed, there are obvious circumstances where it would be useful but because they aren't common it adds extra confusion with little gain, either change it till your next turn or switch it to just reveal on activate.
Amirae Sylphborn keeps looking stronger the more I read, but it doesn't seem excessive so it might be fine. Edit: Nevermind I had read you get a spirit for each point of damage, its fine.
I'm boosting Tibalt a bit like you said. 2 damage on his plus and only hurt opponent (not yourself as well) on the middle ability.
Also I'm thinking of boosting Melira starting loyalty from 2 to 4 as well to make the her ultimate more of a factor. She may be too specialized as currently framed.
Kylian had the strange stay-revealed wording on the + ability because his original ability was something like: until the start of your next turn, whenever a spell is cast, you may change all instances of "at random" to "of Kyleian's controller's choice". To make this meaningful with, say Mind Shatter, all the cards needs to stay revealed. I dropped the idea since the wording is a mess, particularly with cards like Scab-Clan Giant and Orcish Librarian. If you have any idea how to word it (Sleight of Mind type of thing, chaning "at random" to Kyleian controller's choice), I love to incorporate that into my new series of 4-ability mono-color planeswalkers.
That's an interesting idea for Kyleian. Looking through all "at random" effects Signal the Clans and Scab-Clan Giant are the only ones that don't make sense when you replace "at random" with "of Kyleian's controller's choice" though you would have to reword the main effect a little to handle corner cases. Signal kind of works with that wording, it just reads awkward, but the Giant is a no go and I can't think of a wording that works on him and all the others because it is the only one that uses "chosen at random" with the 'chosen' messing up your wording. Ignoring the Giant the ability would look like this
+3: Until Kyleian Jin leaves the battlefield or end of turn, whichever comes first, each opponent plays with his or her hand revealed and if an opponent would look at a card instead it is revealed. Until Kyleian Jin leaves the battlefield or end of turn, whichever comes first, change the text of all spells, permanents and cards in exile by replacing all instances of "at random" with "of Kyleian's controller's choice"
We know this works because of overload (Blustersquall). I don't know if there is a clean fix taking into account that giant but you could implement it and then have specific rules explaining how it works, they don't this occasionally to make things clear, or change older cards to function properly with new templates.
That's an interesting idea for Kyleian. Looking through all "at random" effects Signal the Clans and Scab-Clan Giant are the only ones that don't make sense when you replace "at random" with "of Kyleian's controller's choice" though you would have to reword the main effect a little to handle corner cases. Signal kind of works with that wording, it just reads awkward, but the Giant is a no go and I can't think of a wording that works on him and all the others because it is the only one that uses "chosen at random" with the 'chosen' messing up your wording. Ignoring the Giant the ability would look like this
+3: Until Kyleian Jin leaves the battlefield or end of turn, whichever comes first, each opponent plays with his or her hand revealed and if an opponent would look at a card instead it is revealed. Until Kyleian Jin leaves the battlefield or end of turn, whichever comes first, change the text of all spells, permanents and cards in exile by replacing all instances of "at random" with "of Kyleian's controller's choice"
We know this works because of overload (Blustersquall). I don't know if there is a clean fix taking into account that giant but you could implement it and then have specific rules explaining how it works, they don't this occasionally to make things clear, or change older cards to function properly with new templates.
Thanks. I will use that wording in a future planeswalker. Given I done a full series now, I think I'm going to make the theme of my cube "planeswalkers-matter". This means I probably need more than ten planeswalkers.
So I'm thinking about Chandra, Torch of Defiance, which interests me because it has four abilities instead of three. If we consider Jace, the Mind Sculptor is a poorly balanced outlier and ignore it, I like to come up with comparably powered (to Chandra) 4-ability monocolor planeswalker versions of the rest of the Gatewatch.
However, I don't quite get the nuance of the interplay of having 4 abilities. The interaction is probably much more complicated since there is more flexibility. Any advice?
You've forgotten one other planeswalker with 4 abilities Garruk, Apex Predator. So if we ignore the mind sculptor it seems that they follow a few rules.
First they have 2 plus abilities, one situational and one generic that is meant to be used whenever. Chandra's situational is mana production, while Garruk kills other walkers.
Second there doesn't seem to be any synergy between the plus and minus abilities.
However there is a synergy between their ult and their 'all the time' plus, being that the plus feeds into the ult. For Chandra her fake drawing cards feeds her emblem to deal damage. While Garruk makes beasts to attack the afflicted player, the deathtouch combos well with the trample as well but that might just be a coincidence. But if you stick to those rules you'll probably make decent walkers that can be tweaked to fit better.
Other similarities are probably coincidences, like them both needing three turns to ult, both their minuses being -3 and killing a creature. Or both ults being emblems. These are probably all coincidences but you never know. There are also probably other things I'm not mentioning due to missing subtleties in their designs.
You've forgotten one other planeswalker with 4 abilities Garruk, Apex Predator. So if we ignore the mind sculptor it seems that they follow a few rules.
First they have 2 plus abilities, one situational and one generic that is meant to be used whenever. Chandra's situational is mana production, while Garruk kills other walkers.
Second there doesn't seem to be any synergy between the plus and minus abilities.
However there is a synergy between their ult and their 'all the time' plus, being that the plus feeds into the ult. For Chandra her fake drawing cards feeds her emblem to deal damage. While Garruk makes beasts to attack the afflicted player, the deathtouch combos well with the trample as well but that might just be a coincidence. But if you stick to those rules you'll probably make decent walkers that can be tweaked to fit better.
Other similarities are probably coincidences, like them both needing three turns to ult, both their minuses being -3 and killing a creature. Or both ults being emblems. These are probably all coincidences but you never know. There are also probably other things I'm not mentioning due to missing subtleties in their designs.
4-ability planewalkers are much harder to balance, but what you said makes sense. Based on that, here's my take of the "fixed" Jace, the Mind Sculptor:
Jace, the Mindfixer 2UU
Planeswalker - Jace
+2: Until your next turn, whenever any opponent cast a spell, you may discard a card. If you do, the next spell that opponent casts this turn costs X more to cast and has its converted mana cost increased by X, where X equals the converted mana cost of the discarded card.
+1: Discard a card. If you do, return target creature to its owner’s hand.
-4: Draw three cards.
-10: Target opponent gets an emblem with “Whenever a player casts a spell, put the top X cards of his or her library into his or her graveyard, where X is the converted mana cost of the spell cast.”
{3}
The biggest problem I saw with Jace, the Mind Sculptor is the lack of sufficient downside to any of the non-ultimate abilities. The +2 scry/fateseal isn't so bad, but the 0 and -1 are way undercost and thus make Jace harder to kill. To correct this problem, I made my Jace's + abilities dependent on his controller provide fuel, discarding a card each time. In effect Jace is transforming the cards in your hand to the abilities effects (counter & bounce). However, the downside of losing cards creates tension when you consider each ability independantly apart from others (old Jace had tension only when all the non-ultimate abilities are available to choose from). To put it another way, I think a better design is one where you need to consider whether it is worth it to activate any ability as oppose you always want to activate a planeswalker's abilities (only question is which one).
A legitimate concern is then that this would make a resultant card suck. To balance things then requires amplifying the reward from risky abilities. Reward potential needs to correlate with risk. Thus, the +2 is effectively a counterspell, but only if opponent casts another spell. The situational +1 bounces a critter and increases Jace's survivability, but at cost of card advantage. The -4 offsets the card losses from the +2 & +1, but at significant loyalty cost & decreases Jace's survivability. The new Jace's ultimate is easier to attain that old Jace, but serves a similar super mill purpose. Lastly, notice how the +2 is synergistic with the ultimate?
I think the new Jace's +2 is better than the old one. There's no point in comparing the new +1 to the old 0 since the old 0 is broken. However, the +1 is comparable to the -1 (effectively, you are giving up a card for a 2 loyalty swing, or a one extra turn use of Jace). His ultimate is much close in reach in close matches, which creates greater tension & excitement. So I think the new Jace is actually more fun to play (for both players, not just the guy that controls him) than the old Jace.
I think your attempt to balance Jace has made him one of the weakest 4-mana walkers ever.
His +2 reads, discard a card your opponent can only cast one spell a turn. But its worse because if you discard a land or 1-mana spell it does nothing. Also I'm fairly certain it can't function the way you want it too, increasing the spells CMC. He might actually be fine if you make it +2: target player can't cast more than one spell on their next turn.
Though you remove the synergy with his Ult.
The +1 is horrifically weak, there is no reasonable way to make this a + without making it worthless or breaking him. If you are fine with convoluted then you can go with
+1: Choose target creature. You may pay any amount of mana. Return that creature to its owner's hand if its converted mana cost is less than or equal to the amount of mana you payed.
Concentrate is a perfectly reasonable minus for him so if you push him to start at 4 then this ability is fine.
I assume you want this emblem to only mill the player that you give it to, otherwise why are you giving it to a player. So you need a slight wording change, or a slightly larger one if you are lowering its power level.
-10: Target player gets an emblem with "Whenever a player casts a spell, put the top X cards of your library into your graveyard, where X is the spell's converted mana cost."
If you meant to only mill on that players spells then we need different wording.
-10: Target player gets an emblem with "Whenever you cast a spell put the top X cards of your library into your graveyard, where X is the spells converted mana cost."
This ability is perfectly fine. Though it is a little too close to Jace, Telepath Unbound for my liking.
I think your attempt to balance Jace has made him one of the weakest 4-mana walkers ever.
His +2 reads, discard a card your opponent can only cast one spell a turn. But its worse because if you discard a land or 1-mana spell it does nothing. Also I'm fairly certain it can't function the way you want it too, increasing the spells CMC. He might actually be fine if you make it +2: target player can't cast more than one spell on their next turn.
Though you remove the synergy with his Ult.
The +1 is horrifically weak, there is no reasonable way to make this a + without making it worthless or breaking him. If you are fine with convoluted then you can go with
+1: Choose target creature. You may pay any amount of mana. Return that creature to its owner's hand if its converted mana cost is less than or equal to the amount of mana you payed.
Concentrate is a perfectly reasonable minus for him so if you push him to start at 4 then this ability is fine.
I assume you want this emblem to only mill the player that you give it to, otherwise why are you giving it to a player. So you need a slight wording change, or a slightly larger one if you are lowering its power level.
-10: Target player gets an emblem with "Whenever a player casts a spell, put the top X cards of your library into your graveyard, where X is the spell's converted mana cost."
If you meant to only mill on that players spells then we need different wording.
-10: Target player gets an emblem with "Whenever you cast a spell put the top X cards of your library into your graveyard, where X is the spells converted mana cost."
This ability is perfectly fine. Though it is a little too close to Jace, Telepath Unbound for my liking.
Maybe I went overboard denuding Jace, the Mind Sculptor, but it's from bad experience playing against it. Still, I understand your objections. So here's the first revision:
Jace, the Mindfixer 2UU
Planeswalker - Jace
+2: Until your next turn, whenever any opponent cast a spellhis or her first spell of the turn, you may discard a cardlook at the top card of target player's library. You may put that card on the bottom of that player's library. If you dodon't, the next spell that opponent casts this turn costs X more to cast and has its converted mana cost increased by X, where X equals the converted mana cost of the discarded cardreturn the cast spell to its controller's hand.
+1: Discard a card. If you do, return target creature to its owner’s hand.You may gain control of target creature with CMC of X or less for as long as you control Jace, the Mindfixer or return target creature with CMC greater than X to its controller’s hand, where X equals the CMC of the discarded card.
-4: Draw three cards.
-10: Target opponentplayer gets an emblem with “Whenever a playeryou casts a spell, put the top X cards of his or her library into his or her graveyarddraw X cards and then exile X cards from your hand, where X is the spell's converted mana cost of the spell cast.”
{34}
The +2 now is an powered-up version of the old Jace's +2. It is a partial Brutal Exulsion tied to multiple-use scry/fateseal. So, for each opponent's turn, the you get to choose whether to permit your opponent to cast his/her first spell of the turn or let him/her keep a good card on library top or let youself keep a bad card on library top. This ability encourages opponent to cast more than one spell a turn, feeding into the ultimate.
The +1 is more powerful than before by additionally allowing you to take control of target creature, depending on CMC of the card you discarded and CMC of creature you targeted. This ability is suppose to be the most flexible. Not sure if the "for as long as you control Jace, the Mindfixer" weakens it too much.
The ultimate can be useful both ways now, not just to hurt your opponent. If you activate it on yourself, you can use it to quickly obtain the combo cards to finish the game that turn. You would target your opponent if he's close enough to decking that the emblem could do so in a turn. Either case, the new ultimate isn't something you activate until the turn or one before you win. New Jace's primary use still centers around the other abilities.
Last thing, I upped the loyalty to 4 to match the -4 Concentration ability.
You'very cranked the dial too far in the other direction. His - is fine but both +'s are over the top. Being able to gain control of creatures with out any mana commitment is very powerful. While a constant Remand on all opponents is over the top. I would like to change it too just putting the creature on top of library, but because of the possibility of a one card soft lock it might be too powerful. The new ultimate is very interesting though it might be too good for an opponent and too bad for you. A lot of thought needs to go into when and how you use this ultimate. Which is usually good but might not be what you want on a planeswalker's ultimate.
On phone, auto correct is change how I type, and small screen makes changing too difficult.
You'very cranked the dial too far in the other direction. His - is fine but both +'s are over the top. Being able to gain control of creatures with out any mana commitment is very powerful. While a constant Remand on all opponents is over the top. I would like to change it too just putting the creature on top of library, but because of the possibility of a one card soft lock it might be too powerful. The new ultimate is very interesting though it might be too good for an opponent and too bad for you. A lot of thought needs to go into when and how you use this ultimate. Which is usually good but might not be what you want on a planeswalker's ultimate.
On phone, auto correct is change how I type, and small screen makes changing too difficult.
So the pendulum swings wide again. Eventually I nail down something more reasonably balanced. Here's the next iteration:
Jace, the Mindfixer 2UU
Planeswalker - Jace +2: Until your next turn, whenever any opponent cast his or her first spell of the turn, you may look at the top card of target player's library. You may put that card on the bottom of that player's library. If you don't, return the cast spell to its controller's hand. +2: Discard a card. If you do, you may put target creature on bottom of its owner's library and then its owner may Scry 2.
+1: Discard a card. YouIf you do, you may gain control of target creature with CMC of X or less for as long as you control Jace, the Mindfixerif you tap X untapped permanents you control,or return target creature with CMC greater than X to its controller’s hand, where X equals the CMC of the discarded card.
-4: Draw three cards.
-10: Target player getsYou get an emblem with “Whenever you cast a spellanyone discards a card, you may choose a player. That player draws X cards and then exile X cards from your hand, where X is the spell'sdiscarded card's converted mana cost, and then reveals his or her hand. You may exile up to X cards from that player's hand.”
{4}
First, I fixed the +1 gaining control of creatures by tying it to tapping your permanents a la Shared Discovery, but broadened to permit any permanent (maybe mana, maybe not).
Second, I changed the +2 to bounce back to library per your advice, but tweaked it (bounce to bottom of library) to avoid the one card soft lock problem. I ameliorated the harshness of bounce-to-bottom of the library with the Scry 2 option.
Lastly, I'm encourage by your assessment of the ultimate, but I can see how it many not be "ULTIMATE" enough. I'll revisit that idea in another planeswalker design, probably as a middle - ability. So, I rewrote the ultimate to encompass more raw power & synergize with the +2 & +1 abilities (both providing the discard fuel). See how this ultimate captures the "Mindfixer" flavor?
Here's hoping you like this version more.
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Maybe you can consider the overall balance again once I get through all ten planeswalkers.
Speaking of which, here are two more:
Kyleian Jin
3UR
Planeswalker - Kyleian (M)
+2: Until your next turn, whenever Kyleian is dealt damage, Kyleian deals that much damage to target player.
-4: Draw 3 cards and then discard a card. Kyleian deals damage equal to the converted mana cost of the discarded card to target creature or planeswalker.
-10: Exchange your hand and library, then shuffle your library. You lose the game at end of turn.
{4}
Amirae Sylphborn
1WU
Planeswalker - Amirae (M)
+1: Until your next turn, whenever Amirae is dealt damage, create a 1/1 blue Elemental creature with flying.
-2: Put target permanent on top of its owner’s library.
-6: Return all nontoken permanents and permanents without any counters on them to their owners’ hands. Each player chooses up to seven cards in his or her hands, then shuffles the rest into his or her library. Empty all mana pools.
{3}
Kyleian is the mad (see ultimate) genius (cycles through card fast with his -4) that's doesn't like to be touched (see his +2). He's kind of boring though. Maybe you have some ideas?
Amirae is a wind mage. All her powers basically are inspired by what happens if you blow hard enough at the cards on the table. An attacker runs in to Amirae? Poof, a piece of her flies off as an elemental (see +1 ability). A light puff send a permanent back on top of the library (see -2 ability). Her ultimate is basically the big bad wolf huffing and puffing and blowing everyone's house down (cards fly off the table). Well, except like the brick house, such wind doesn't affect heavy stuff such as heavy tokens & cards weighed with heavy counters. You get the idea.
I have three more planewalkers left to do (WB, RG & UB). I will get them initially worded in the next few days.
Again, I appreciate any feedback.
Kyleian seems too strong and too weak. His ultimate 'can' win the game but because he causes you to lose you have to be playing an instant win combo in your deck that is playable just with cards in your deck. Because you are building these cards for a limited environment(cube) you want the ultimates to be valid in that environment and I'm not sure how to modify his ult to make it playable. If you change it completely you might go with some kind of Firemind's Foresight that also casts the cards you find maybe even go the Seasons Past but cast. His + seems too powerful and too weak as well, putting him up to 6 immediately and making him deal damage to players could be devastating or pointless depending on game state. I think you would be better served with a version of Vraska's +, but go blue for him so he has Because he doesn't kill, a higher + than Vraska is doable maybe even +3 if you manage his other abilities cost appropriately. Making his - a cheaper Blast of Genius might be too strong and you should use the same wording
I am satisfied and would play in RGW Defender.dec. Well done!
I think the problem I have with Kyleian is that I don't have a story for him. So I'm fuzzy on how his powers work (together).
So I'll try another approach. Based on your hint of the viability of a "+3 [ability] if yu manage his other ability cost appropriately", I think I'll make Kyleian into a time bomb:
Kyleian Jin
3UR
Planeswalker - Kyleian (M)
You can’t win the game if your life total is more than the number of loyalty counters on Kyleian Jin.
+2+3: Until your next turn,whenever Kyleian is dealt damage, Kyleian deals that much damage to target playerwhenever a creature deals combat damage to Kyleian Jin, return that creature to its owner's hand.-4: Draw 3 cards and then discard a card. Kyleian deals damage equal to the converted mana cost of the discarded card to target creature or planeswalker.-7: For each nonland permanent, choose a player at random. Then each player gains controls of each permananent for which he or she was chosen. Untap those permanents.
-10: Exchange your hand and library, then shuffle your library. You lose the game at end of turn.
-13: You get an emblem with "For the rest of the game, you can't play spells. At the beginning of each of your upkeeps, search target opponent's library for an artifact, creature, enchantment, or land card. Put that card into play under your control. Then that player shuffles his or her library."
{4}
The idea is for a player behind to play this card to buy time. This planeswalker is the opposite of win-more. Opponent needs to focus on taking out Kyleian ASAP (+3 makes Kyleian hard to kill) or the dominant player will likely lose some board presence advantage (-7 ability redistributes some of the dominance). His -7 abilitiy makes it possible for him to become a "hot potato", in which case the "You can’t win the game if your life total is more than the number of loyalty counters on Kyleian Jin" clause will slow things down even more until Kyleian is defused (loyalty counters reduced). Not sure about the ultimate, cost & effect, but I wanted something epic (literally). Also, I think I made Kyleian so convoluted I'm not sure about any balance. Any suggestion about what's good to keep?
Here's the next planeswalker as well:
Elspeth Returned
1WB
Planeswalker - Elspeth (M)
+1: Destroy up to one target creature. Its owner may create a tapped token that’s a copy of that creature except it is a Zombie in addition to its other types.
-1: Exile up to two cards from target player’s graveyard. Put a loyalty counter on Elspeth Returned for each card exiled this way.
-5: Put up to three target creature cards from exile onto the battlefield under your control. Then sacrifice all but one of your creatures.
{3}
Elspeth has returned from the underworld, but she isn't quite herself. She gained mastery over passage to and from the underworld (see her +1, effectively a tapping action and seeding the graveyard to fuel her -1). Most importantly, she learned how to escape the underworld (see her -1, which send stuff into the Blind Eternities & her -5, which brings them back, at great greek tragedy cost).
Thoughts?
Thank you very much!
Since you mentioned Naya colors, did you notice how well my Melira Reborn synergizes with the new Koth?
Now to finish that RG planewalker...
Elspeth Returned has a better + than Kaya, Ghost Assassin which means she shouldn't have it or she should also cost 4CMC. I really like her - but you might consider that she exiles more cards but only gets counters for creatures. Her Ult seems interesting but it should probably kill all players' creatures instead of just your own.
For some reason I find doing 3-cost planeswalkers to be so much easier than say 5-cost guys. I don't know what's so hard about UR that makes Kyleian so difficult to lock down. Anyways here's my lastest redo:
Kyleian Jin
3UR
Planeswalker - Kyleian (M)
You can’t win the game if your life total is more than the number of loyalty counters on Kyleian Jin.+3: Your next coin flip this turn comes up head.
+30: Until your next turn, whenever a creature deals combat damage to Kyleian Jin, return that creature to its owner's hand.-7: For each nonland permanent, choose a player at random. Then each player gains controls of each permananent for which he or she was chosen. Untap those permanents.-13: You get an emblem with "For the rest of the game, you can't play spells. At the beginning of each of your upkeeps, search target opponent's library for an artifact, creature, enchantment, or land card. Put that card into play under your control. Then that player shuffles his or her library."-12: You get an emblem with "Whenever a spell or ability is put onto the stack, if it has a single targer, reselect its target at random. If the new target is different from one originally selected, put a chaos counter on this emblem. At the beginning of your upkeep, if this emble has ten or more chaos counters on it, you win the game."
{4}
I have a story inkling for this latest incarnation, but I don't have enough to write it out now. So I only ask if you can consider the starting loyalty & ability gain/cost numbers (& any wording/templating issues). What values would be more balanced considering his 5 mana cost?
Per your advice, I polished up Elspeth Returned as follows:
Elspeth Returned
1WB
Planeswalker - Elspeth (M)
+1: Destroy up to one target creature. Its owner may create a tapped token that’s a copy of that creature except it is a Zombie in addition to its other types. Its owner gains 1 life and you lose 1 life.
-1: Exile up to
twothree cards from target player’s graveyard. Put a loyalty counter on Elspeth Returned for each creature card exiled this way.-5: Put up to three target creature cards from exile onto the battlefield under your control. Then each player sacrifices all but one of
yourhis or her creatures.{3}
I added the life gain/loss on the +1 to more closely follow Kaya's power level. On the -1 ability I slightly increased number of cards exileable and limited loyalty gain to only creature cards exiled. With the ultimate I made it more like a mini-Tragic Arrogance. You like?
Lastly, my newest planeswalker for you to consider:
Zelene, Fickle Divinity
3RG
Planeswalker - Zelene (M)
+2: Skip your combat phase. Activate this ability only before your combat phase.
-4: Each player discards his or her hand, then draws seven cards. Add X mana in any combination of R and/or G to your mana pool, where X is the number of cards you discarded.
-7: For each nonland permanent, choose a player at random. Then each player gains controls of each permanent for which her or she was chosen. Untap those permanents.
{3}
Zelene is from Theros, long before Zenagos was born. Back then there was still a goddess of love/passion (RG). Before her spark ignited, Zelene was her oracle. One day, a passing planeswalker caught the goddess' eyes. Unfortunately, Zelene caught the planeswalker's eyes. Long story short, in an attempt to save Zelene from certain fate worse than death, that planeswalker left Theros vowing never to return. Still, the goddess didn't take things very well & inflicted on her oracle horrendous mental torture and anguish (something like replaying the Zelene's memories of the breakup/farewell over and over and over again, all the time, both when awake & asleep). Zelene mentally broke down and tried to kill herself, but instead her spark ignited at the critical juncture.
Though she managed to find her way back to Theros, she isn't quite so stable now. Zelene wants to find her planeswalker love again. All her powers originally came from the goddess and she needed divine help. She offered the goddess a deal to travel the multiverse to find the planeswalker by presenting herself as a vessel to carry divinity. She held enough faith in love/passion to sustain the divine essence through different planes. The goddess, perhaps as blinded by love/passion as Zelene was, agreed. Thus, the goddess essence entered Zelene's body and they left Theros together to explore the multiverse.
Once outside of Theros though, both of them discovered their powers changed. The goddess can no longer control Zelene's mind and body. The goddess only affected her subconscious (mostly moods & dreams). Zelene, powered by the divine essence in her, suspected that any return to Theros would re-empower the goddess to her detriment. Thus, she vowed never to return to Theros and still searches the multiverse to this day for her lost love planeswalker. However, the goddess inside isn't one to take thing quietly and has affected Zelene's personality dramatically (through manipulation of the subconscious). Thus, Zelene appears very mercurial and fickle. It will be the greatest irony that when Zelene finds her lost love, she will not be the same person that the lost planeswalker fell in love with.
Does this backstory help you make more sense Zelene's abilities?
Your new Kyleian Jin is interesting, he is very narrow, which is good and bad. Good because you can push his power significantly, but bad because without the type of card he interacts with his + is useless.
Zelene, Fickle Divinity feels off. Her + doesn't really fit into Red or Green though I can see it as being the cost of something more significant, her + doesn't seem to fit that though. Her -4 is insane, while she can't do it the turn she hits she survives with just one +. Her ult is cute but not really the kind of thing you want to work a planeswalker up to. She is a very heavy control card in non control colors. Her backstory is interesting and I can more or less envision the flavor behind each of her abilities but it actually makes it harder to tweak her powers because anything I can think of right now runs counter to her flavor. You essentially want her to be the consuming passion that embodies the red we never normally see on cards. For her plus I think this will capture her essence better
If I understand correctly you wanted some kind of peace through passion. I've shifted to a pseudo exhaustion through the same means. This gives more potential while still having the upfront no attacking.
I think if I lowered Elspeth Returned's starting loyalty by 1, it helps address your concern about her power level.
As for Kyleian Jin, here's the latest iteration:
Kyleian Jin
3UR
Planeswalker - Kyleian (M)
+3:
Your next coin flip this turn comes up head.Until Kyleian Jin leaves the battlefield or end of turn, whichever comes first, each opponent plays with his or her hand revealed.0: Until your next turn, whenever a creature deals combat damage to Kyleian Jin, return that creature to its owner's hand.-5: Draw 3 cards and then discard a card. Kyleian Jin deals damage equal to the converted mana cost of the discarded card to target creature or player.
-12: You get an emblem with "Whenever a spell or ability is put onto the stack, if it has a single targer, reselect its target at random. If the new target is different from one originally selected, put a chaos counter on this emblem. At the beginning of your upkeep, if this emblem has ten or more chaos counters on it, you win the game."
{4}{5}The problem with old Kyleian is once he ultimates & gets that emblem, he's pretty much inconsequential. The new idea is that Kyleian will be most useful with his middle, -5 ability (a lightly cheaper Blast of Genius). His defense is primarily his high starting loyalty and high +3 loyalty gain. To balance out the high +3 loyalty gain, that ability is the somewhat innocuous "opponents play with hand revealed". I'm sticking with the ultimate since I like the alternate victory condition and will work that into his backstory. I appreciate your thought & your patience with me on fixing this guy.
Lastly, in light of what you correctly described as the RG portfolio, I'm revising Zelene to emphasize the losing-one's-mind part of passion, rather than peace & love (love & hate are simply different sides of the same coin). Thus there's synergy with haste things (heated emotion) & loyalty manipulation based on decisions whether to attack (act on heated emotion). However, as you will see below, I having big problems with wording:
Zelene, Fickle Divinity
3RG
Planeswalker - Zelene (M)
+2: Skip your combat phase. Activate this ability only before your combat phase.+2: If all creatures opponents control are tapped, skip your attack phase. Otherwise, until end of turn, creatures you control gain haste and has "This creature attacks each turn if able." Activate this ability only before your combat phase.
-4: Each player discards his or her hand, then draws seven cards. Add X mana in any combination of R and/or G to your mana pool, where X is the number of cards you discarded.-2: Until your next turn, all creatures opponents control gain haste. Put a loyalty counter on Zelene, Fickle Divinity for each creature with haste that attacks.
-7: For each nonland permanent, choose a player at random. Then each player gains controls of each permanent for which her or she was chosen. Untap those permanents.-5: If you didn’t attack last turn and this turn with any creatures, then you may choose to have target opponent untap all his or her creatures and then attack with them all or skip his or her next combat phase. Activate this ability only after your combat phase.
{3}
First, I need to change her name. "Fickle Divinity" isn't quite right. Something more to show the two-faced nature of passion (love/hate) is better.
Second, the idea with the +2 is encourage acting out on emotion, resulting in attack if there is anyone (untapped creatures controlled by opponent) to focus on. That is carried over to the -2 ability where attacks are encourage via haste (Zelene likes it when creatures act out their hasted passion in attacks, thus increaing her loyalty), but offset by possibility of how much loyalty Zelene may gain. There is tension between the +2 & -2 abilities as to which may net Zelene more loyalty counters. The +2 is more conservative, but the -2 holds greater reward for greater risk.
Lastly, I purposely made Zelene's ultimate low-cost enough to be possibly used repeatedly. The low-cost is offset by requirement of giving up attacks in consecutive turns. The idea is if you can give up the chance to attack two turns (not so inconsequential for a RG player), you can control whether and how an opponent attacks next turn.
Again, I greatly thank you for your comments. You have been tremendous help.
If you want a more love/hate thing going on for Zelene her + should probably just be This feels more like the impassioned rage that you are looking for. Though it makes her - redundant. You might want to try something weird like This plays up an interesting dynamic of do you play your creatures post combat to give you blockers or do you rush the field to build her loyalty.
I don't think her ult works, your opponent can't attack during your turn. If you go with what I've said and fuse her current + and - then you can give her a new - of untap gain an additional combat phase to play up her insistence on combat(impassioned violence). Then if you want her ult to be a Master Warcraft(I'm not sure it should due to color concerns) you can go with a more expensive emblem.
Good to get a positive sign about this iteration of Kyleian. To address your concern about him being a cheaper Blast of Genius, I tweaked that -5 ability a little to make it a bit worse:
Kyleian Jin
3UR
Planeswalker - Kyleian (M)
+3: Until Kyleian Jin leaves the battlefield or end of turn, whichever comes first, each opponent plays with his or her hand revealed.
-5: Choose target creature or player. Discard a card, then draw three cards. Kyleian Jin deals damage equal to the discarded card’s converted mana cost to that creature or player.
-12: You get an emblem with “Whenever a spell or ability is put onto the stack, if it has a single target, reselect its target at random. If the new target is different from one originally selected, put a chaos counter on this emblem. At the beginning of your upkeep, if this emblem has ten or more chaos counters on it, you win the game.”
{5}
With respect to Zelene, I hesitate to have her ultimate being a non-cumulative emblem. Otherwise, Zelene will suffer the same problem as the earlier Kyleian, becoming inconsequential with her other abilities just building more and more loyalty. There needs to be a meaningful - cost ability to eat up the loyalty gains and create tension whether to build more loyalty or cash out.
Thus, taking your ideas under advisement, I have this revision:
Zelene, Fickle Divinity
3RG
Planeswalker - Zelene (M)
+2: If all creatures opponents control are tapped, skip your attack phase. Otherwise, until end of turn, creatures you control gain haste and has "This creature attacks each turn if able." Activate this ability only before your combat phase.-20: Until your next turn,all creaturesopponents control gainhave haste and must attack or block each combat if able. Until your next turn whenever a creature attacksPutput a loyalty counter on Zelene, Fickle Divinityfor each creature with haste that attacks.-1: Choose two target creatures not controlled by the same player. Until your next turn one chosen creature gains trample and the other gains first strike.
-5: If you didn’t attack last turn and this turn with any creatures, then you may choose to have target opponent untap all his or her creatures and then attack with them all or skip his or her next combat phase. Activate this ability only after your combat phase.-5: Until your next turn, prevent all combat damage that would be dealt. At end of each player's combat phase, gain 1 life for each creature that player controls that didn't attack.
{3}
The 0 ability merges the two suggestions you made previously (since they were almost redundant). That is the "hate" ability. The "ultimate" (not so ultimate, actually, since it is easy to achieve) is the "love" ability. Basically, Fog plus life gain. The new -1 ability is something in between love and hate (courtship, maybe?). It would be entertaining to see how people play out the target selection and attack/defense scenarios with this ability.
The big problem is the atrocious wording. Any suggestions?
I almost finished the last planeswalker. I will post Ob Nixilis, Mastermind (UB) next time.
I like the new Zelene, but I think with that ult and those stats she might be too weak. Leave almost everything the same but try her at 6 starting loyalty and her ult only stops combat damage to players, so there is tension in them attacking. Unless you were going for lower powerlevel, in that case leave her be.
Got it!
Here's the last planeswalker for your consideration:
Ob Nixilis, Mastermind
4UB
Planeswalker - Ob Nixilis (M)
+2: Target player reveals his or her hand and may exile up to three permanents and/or cards from his or her hand. Remove a loyalty counter from Ob Nixilis, Mastermind for each permanent or card exiled.
-4: Gain control of target permanent.
-10: Search target player’s library and hand for up to X cards, where X is the number of permanents he or she controls, and exile them. Then that player shuffles his or her library. You may put one card exiled this way onto the battlefield under your control.
{5}
Story is Ob Nixilis has nursing a grudge against the Gatewatch. Now that he is free to impress himself on the multiverse again, he curiously has retreated back into the shadows. It turns out his lockdown on Zendikar has taught him patience and preparation. Insufficient amounts of which, he now believes, led to his defeat by upstart planeswalkers. So Ob Nixilis is evolving to be a mastermind, a master of the stage where he cannot be surprised again.
To this end, the new Ob Nixilis is much more cool-headed and has acquired blue mana mastery. His abilities all reflect his knowledge and control over puppets (-4 & -10 abilities). If he plays his hand right, opponents will not suspect where he is going. Otherwise, Ob Nixilis could be stopped (see +2, where it is possible for opponent to cause Ob Nixilis to lose loyalty).
For his mana cost, I think the starting loyalty and ability cost numbers may be ok. Though he doesn't have any particularly strange or different abilities (compared to my previous nine planeswalkers), he fills the UB portfolio sufficiently. What do you think?
He already was a mastermind, a master of the stage where he cannot be surprised again. The only thing that surprised him was never before seen magic(herdons) and others(Nahiri) being significantly more powerful than him. Your portfolio describes Ob as exactly the same as he was first introduced, while I could see him leaning either red or blue you haven't really evolved his character as much as you did the other reintroduced walkers.
Other than that I like this incarnation of Ob, he plays well and doesn't seem over or under powered.
OK I have all ten color pairs of planeswalkers now. 5 new characters & 5 evolved versions of existing planeswalkers.
My concern now is which ones stick out, underpowered & overpowered, relative to each other.
Generally, I'm not concerned about high power, but narrow focus, planeswalkers. I like to minimize high power general purpose types like Jace the Mind Sculptor.
Please take what time you may be able to spare and look these ten guys over. I am very appreciative of all your help. These guys would not be in concrete form without your input.
Koth Reforged
2RW
Planeswalker - Koth (M)
+1: Put a +1/+1 counter on up to one target noncreature Mountain or Plains you control and it becomes a 3/3 Elemental creature with defender. It has "If this creature attacks or blocks, sacrifice it at end of turn." It's still a land.
-2: Creatures you control with defender can attack this turn as though they didn't have defender.
-6: You get an emblem with "Whenever a creature with defender you control dies, each opponent loses life equal to its toughness. You gain life equal to total of all life lost this way."
{3}
Melira Reborn
2GW
Planeswalker - Melira (M)
+1: Until your next turn, up to one target creature gains lifelink and defender.
-X: Choose up to X target permanents, players, and/or cards with counters on them. Remove up to X counters from each of those targets. Gain 1 life for each counter removed this way.
-8: You get an emblem with "At the beginning of your upkeep, if you have 40 or more life, you win the game."
{2}
Rashmi, Eternities Researcher
1GU
Planeswalker - Rashmi (M)
+1: Each player exiles the top card of his or her library. Choose a land card in exile, you may play it this turn.
-3: Create a tapped token that’s a copy of target nontoken nonland artifact you control.
-6: You get an emblem with “X: Exile target nonland permanent with converted mana cost X or less. Activate this ability only any time you could cast a sorcery." and “X: Cast target face-up noninstant, nonsorcery card in exile with converted mana cost X or less. Activate this ability only any time you could cast a sorcery."
{3}
Tibalt, the Masochist
1BR
Planeswalker - Tibalt (M)
+1: Any player may have Tibalt, the Masochist deal 1 damage to him or her. If no one does, choose a player, that player discards a card and then may draw a card.
-3: Each player loses life equal to number of cards in his or her hands.
-5: Gain control of all creatures and planeswalkers until end of your next turn. Untap them and any creatures gain haste until end of turn.
{2}
Garruk Consumed
2BG
Planeswalker - Garruk (M)
+1: Put a -1/-1 counter on up to one target creature and it gains deathtouch.
-1: Until end of turn, whenever a permanent is put into the graveyard, place a loyalty counter on Garruk Consumed for each counter that was on that permanent.
-X: Put X -1/-1 counters on target creature. If that creature’s toughness is 0 or less, you may activate this ability again as though none of this planeswalker’s loyalty abilities have been activated this turn.
{4}
Kyleian Jin
3UR
Planeswalker - Kyleian (M)
+3: Until Kyleian Jin leaves the battlefield or end of turn, whichever comes first, each opponent plays with his or her hand revealed.
-5: Choose target creature or player. Discard a card, then draw three cards. Kyleian Jin deals damage equal to the discarded card’s converted mana cost to that creature or player.
-12: You get an emblem with “Whenever a spell is put onto the stack, if it has a single target, reselect its target at random. Put a chaos counter on this emblem. At the beginning of your upkeep, if it has ten or more chaos counters on it, you win the game.”
{5}
Amirae Sylphborn
1WU
Planeswalker - Amirae (M)
+1: Until your next turn, whenever Amirae is dealt damage, create a 1/1 blue Elemental creature token with flying.
-2: Put target permanent on top of its owner’s library.
-6: Return all nontoken permanents and permanents without any counters on them to their owners’ hands. Each player chooses up to seven cards in his or her hands, then shuffles the rest into his or her library. Empty all mana pools.
{3}
Elspeth Returned
1WB
Planeswalker - Elspeth (M)
+1: Destroy up to one target creature. Its owner may create a tapped token that’s a copy of that creature except it is a Zombie in addition to its other types. Its owner gains 1 life and you lose 1 life.
-1: Exile up to three cards from target player’s graveyard. Put a loyalty counter on Elspeth Returned for each creature card exiled this way.
-5: Put up to three target creature cards from exile onto the battlefield under your control. Then each player sacrifices all but one of his or her creatures.
{2}
Zelene, Divine Dichotomy
3RG
Planeswalker - Zelene (M)
0: Until your next turn, all creatures have haste and must attack or block each combat if able. Until your next turn, whenever a creature attacks put a loyalty counter on Zelene, Divine Dichotom.
-1: Choose two target creatures not controlled by the same player. Until your next turn, one chosen creature gains trample and the other gains first strike.
-5: Until your next turn, prevent all combat damage that would be dealt to players. At end of each player’s combat phase, gain 1 life for each creature that player controls that didn’t attack.
{6}
Ob Nixilis, In The Shadows
4UB
Planeswalker - Ob Nixilis (M)
+2: Target player reveals his or her hand and may exile up to three permanents and/or cards from his or her hand. Remove a loyalty counter from Ob Nixilis, In The Shadows for each permanent or card exiled.
-5: Gain control of target permanent.
-10: Search target player’s library and hand for up to X cards, where X is the number of permanents he or she controls, and exile them. Then that player shuffles his or her library. You may put one card exiled this way onto the battlefield under your control.
{5}
Edits after looking some more:
Garruk's + has memory problems but its not too bad just problematic. I think he should start 1 higher on loyalty so he really threatens a wrath when he hits.
When I read Kyleian Jin's + I had assumed it was until your next turn. It seems kind of pointless to have them stay revealed, there are obvious circumstances where it would be useful but because they aren't common it adds extra confusion with little gain, either change it till your next turn or switch it to just reveal on activate.
Amirae Sylphborn keeps looking stronger the more I read, but it doesn't seem excessive so it might be fine. Edit: Nevermind I had read you get a spirit for each point of damage, its fine.
I'm boosting Tibalt a bit like you said. 2 damage on his plus and only hurt opponent (not yourself as well) on the middle ability.
Also I'm thinking of boosting Melira starting loyalty from 2 to 4 as well to make the her ultimate more of a factor. She may be too specialized as currently framed.
Kylian had the strange stay-revealed wording on the + ability because his original ability was something like: until the start of your next turn, whenever a spell is cast, you may change all instances of "at random" to "of Kyleian's controller's choice". To make this meaningful with, say Mind Shatter, all the cards needs to stay revealed. I dropped the idea since the wording is a mess, particularly with cards like Scab-Clan Giant and Orcish Librarian. If you have any idea how to word it (Sleight of Mind type of thing, chaning "at random" to Kyleian controller's choice), I love to incorporate that into my new series of 4-ability mono-color planeswalkers.
So here are my draft renders of the ten.
Some of the art was hard to find, but I think they capture the flavor OK as placeholders.
We know this works because of overload (Blustersquall). I don't know if there is a clean fix taking into account that giant but you could implement it and then have specific rules explaining how it works, they don't this occasionally to make things clear, or change older cards to function properly with new templates.
Thanks. I will use that wording in a future planeswalker. Given I done a full series now, I think I'm going to make the theme of my cube "planeswalkers-matter". This means I probably need more than ten planeswalkers.
So I'm thinking about Chandra, Torch of Defiance, which interests me because it has four abilities instead of three. If we consider Jace, the Mind Sculptor is a poorly balanced outlier and ignore it, I like to come up with comparably powered (to Chandra) 4-ability monocolor planeswalker versions of the rest of the Gatewatch.
However, I don't quite get the nuance of the interplay of having 4 abilities. The interaction is probably much more complicated since there is more flexibility. Any advice?
First they have 2 plus abilities, one situational and one generic that is meant to be used whenever. Chandra's situational is mana production, while Garruk kills other walkers.
Second there doesn't seem to be any synergy between the plus and minus abilities.
However there is a synergy between their ult and their 'all the time' plus, being that the plus feeds into the ult. For Chandra her fake drawing cards feeds her emblem to deal damage. While Garruk makes beasts to attack the afflicted player, the deathtouch combos well with the trample as well but that might just be a coincidence. But if you stick to those rules you'll probably make decent walkers that can be tweaked to fit better.
Other similarities are probably coincidences, like them both needing three turns to ult, both their minuses being -3 and killing a creature. Or both ults being emblems. These are probably all coincidences but you never know. There are also probably other things I'm not mentioning due to missing subtleties in their designs.
4-ability planewalkers are much harder to balance, but what you said makes sense. Based on that, here's my take of the "fixed" Jace, the Mind Sculptor:
Jace, the Mindfixer
2UU
Planeswalker - Jace
+2: Until your next turn, whenever any opponent cast a spell, you may discard a card. If you do, the next spell that opponent casts this turn costs X more to cast and has its converted mana cost increased by X, where X equals the converted mana cost of the discarded card.
+1: Discard a card. If you do, return target creature to its owner’s hand.
-4: Draw three cards.
-10: Target opponent gets an emblem with “Whenever a player casts a spell, put the top X cards of his or her library into his or her graveyard, where X is the converted mana cost of the spell cast.”
{3}
The biggest problem I saw with Jace, the Mind Sculptor is the lack of sufficient downside to any of the non-ultimate abilities. The +2 scry/fateseal isn't so bad, but the 0 and -1 are way undercost and thus make Jace harder to kill. To correct this problem, I made my Jace's + abilities dependent on his controller provide fuel, discarding a card each time. In effect Jace is transforming the cards in your hand to the abilities effects (counter & bounce). However, the downside of losing cards creates tension when you consider each ability independantly apart from others (old Jace had tension only when all the non-ultimate abilities are available to choose from). To put it another way, I think a better design is one where you need to consider whether it is worth it to activate any ability as oppose you always want to activate a planeswalker's abilities (only question is which one).
A legitimate concern is then that this would make a resultant card suck. To balance things then requires amplifying the reward from risky abilities. Reward potential needs to correlate with risk. Thus, the +2 is effectively a counterspell, but only if opponent casts another spell. The situational +1 bounces a critter and increases Jace's survivability, but at cost of card advantage. The -4 offsets the card losses from the +2 & +1, but at significant loyalty cost & decreases Jace's survivability. The new Jace's ultimate is easier to attain that old Jace, but serves a similar super mill purpose. Lastly, notice how the +2 is synergistic with the ultimate?
I think the new Jace's +2 is better than the old one. There's no point in comparing the new +1 to the old 0 since the old 0 is broken. However, the +1 is comparable to the -1 (effectively, you are giving up a card for a 2 loyalty swing, or a one extra turn use of Jace). His ultimate is much close in reach in close matches, which creates greater tension & excitement. So I think the new Jace is actually more fun to play (for both players, not just the guy that controls him) than the old Jace.
What do you think? It he on par with Chandra, Torch of Defiance?
His +2 reads, discard a card your opponent can only cast one spell a turn. But its worse because if you discard a land or 1-mana spell it does nothing. Also I'm fairly certain it can't function the way you want it too, increasing the spells CMC. He might actually be fine if you make it +2: target player can't cast more than one spell on their next turn.
Though you remove the synergy with his Ult.
The +1 is horrifically weak, there is no reasonable way to make this a + without making it worthless or breaking him. If you are fine with convoluted then you can go with
Concentrate is a perfectly reasonable minus for him so if you push him to start at 4 then this ability is fine.
I assume you want this emblem to only mill the player that you give it to, otherwise why are you giving it to a player. So you need a slight wording change, or a slightly larger one if you are lowering its power level.
If you meant to only mill on that players spells then we need different wording.
This ability is perfectly fine. Though it is a little too close to Jace, Telepath Unbound for my liking.
Maybe I went overboard denuding Jace, the Mind Sculptor, but it's from bad experience playing against it. Still, I understand your objections. So here's the first revision:
Jace, the Mindfixer
2UU
Planeswalker - Jace
+2: Until your next turn, whenever any opponent cast
a spellhis or her first spell of the turn, you maydiscard a cardlook at the top card of target player's library. You may put that card on the bottom of that player's library. If youdodon't,the next spell that opponent casts this turn costs X more to cast and has its converted mana cost increased by X, where X equals the converted mana cost of the discarded cardreturn the cast spell to its controller's hand.+1: Discard a card.
If you do, return target creature to its owner’s hand.You may gain control of target creature with CMC of X or less for as long as you control Jace, the Mindfixer or return target creature with CMC greater than X to its controller’s hand, where X equals the CMC of the discarded card.-4: Draw three cards.
-10: Target
opponentplayer gets an emblem with “Whenevera playeryou castsa spell,put the top X cards of his or her library into his or her graveyarddraw X cards and then exile X cards from your hand, where X is the spell's converted mana costof the spell cast.”{
34}The +2 now is an powered-up version of the old Jace's +2. It is a partial Brutal Exulsion tied to multiple-use scry/fateseal. So, for each opponent's turn, the you get to choose whether to permit your opponent to cast his/her first spell of the turn or let him/her keep a good card on library top or let youself keep a bad card on library top. This ability encourages opponent to cast more than one spell a turn, feeding into the ultimate.
The +1 is more powerful than before by additionally allowing you to take control of target creature, depending on CMC of the card you discarded and CMC of creature you targeted. This ability is suppose to be the most flexible. Not sure if the "for as long as you control Jace, the Mindfixer" weakens it too much.
The ultimate can be useful both ways now, not just to hurt your opponent. If you activate it on yourself, you can use it to quickly obtain the combo cards to finish the game that turn. You would target your opponent if he's close enough to decking that the emblem could do so in a turn. Either case, the new ultimate isn't something you activate until the turn or one before you win. New Jace's primary use still centers around the other abilities.
Last thing, I upped the loyalty to 4 to match the -4 Concentration ability.
Better?
On phone, auto correct is change how I type, and small screen makes changing too difficult.
So the pendulum swings wide again. Eventually I nail down something more reasonably balanced. Here's the next iteration:
Jace, the Mindfixer
2UU
Planeswalker - Jace
+2: Until your next turn, whenever any opponent cast his or her first spell of the turn, you may look at the top card of target player's library. You may put that card on the bottom of that player's library. If you don't, return the cast spell to its controller's hand.+2: Discard a card. If you do, you may put target creature on bottom of its owner's library and then its owner may Scry 2.
+1: Discard a card.
YouIf you do, you may gain control of target creature with CMC of X or lessfor as long as you control Jace, the Mindfixerif you tap X untapped permanents you control,or return target creature with CMC greater than X to its controller’s hand,where X equals the CMC of the discarded card.-4: Draw three cards.
-10:
Target player getsYou get an emblem with “Wheneveryou cast a spellanyone discards a card, you may choose a player. That player draws X cardsand then exile X cards from your hand, where X is thespell'sdiscarded card's converted mana cost, and then reveals his or her hand. You may exile up to X cards from that player's hand.”{4}
First, I fixed the +1 gaining control of creatures by tying it to tapping your permanents a la Shared Discovery, but broadened to permit any permanent (maybe mana, maybe not).
Second, I changed the +2 to bounce back to library per your advice, but tweaked it (bounce to bottom of library) to avoid the one card soft lock problem. I ameliorated the harshness of bounce-to-bottom of the library with the Scry 2 option.
Lastly, I'm encourage by your assessment of the ultimate, but I can see how it many not be "ULTIMATE" enough. I'll revisit that idea in another planeswalker design, probably as a middle - ability. So, I rewrote the ultimate to encompass more raw power & synergize with the +2 & +1 abilities (both providing the discard fuel). See how this ultimate captures the "Mindfixer" flavor?
Here's hoping you like this version more.