This edited post is now used to post updated about my website:Door to Nothingness (named after one of my favourite MTG cards of all time).
This site is my portfolio, containing...
...all the individual custom cards I make. I add new cards frequently.
...my long-term projects, such as my custom set Aszakir: Chaos Rising and Gathering of Heroes.
NOTE: The cards posted on this thread are no longer on the site since it's been reset. The cards that are now on the site are much more "professionnal" (and cool, hehe).
Should I do the same on my website ? I'm quite new to this, I used to do cards only for my own self and I don't really know how all of this works, I was only ready to show my ideas to the internet !
Should I do the same on my website ? I'm quite new to this, I used to do cards only for my own self and I don't really know how all of this works, I was only ready to show my ideas to the internet !
Simply put the artist name on the bottom of the associated card (next to the little paintbrush icon)
I can't lie, I really like the idea of Vanishing + Transform. I don't think "Vanishing" is quite the right flavor, but it still gets the point across.
Yeah, I know... The only two abilities that did that in the game were Fading and Vanishing. I didn't want to create an ability only for one card, so I chose Vanishing beause it was from the Time Spiral block and, well, I really like this block
Did you look at my site ? I would appreciate other comments ! And thank you for this one.
Unoly (sic) Thrall: Typo in name, 4/7 stats are a bit weird for a clearly very aggressive creature, 5/6 or 6/5 would seem more appropriate.
Keeper of the Grove: memory issues, but nothing necessarily unjustifiable.
Tyrael: "can't cast permanent spells"
Ashenvale Dryad: Seems a bit weak, 2/2 maybe?
Unoly (sic) Thrall: Typo in name, 4/7 stats are a bit weird for a clearly very aggressive creature, 5/6 or 6/5 would seem more appropriate.
I fixed the typo of the Unholy Thrall, but kept him 4/7. In Diablo III, this monster is very hard to kill and very agressive, but doesn't do that much damage.
I tried to fix the wording on Tyrael's ability, but I'm still not quite sure about the result. The point is that I don't want any opponent to have more permanents on the battlefield that the player having Tyrael under his or her control. Could you maybe help me with the wording ?
Clockwork Spider: Good
Dark Iron Elementalist: a bit conflicting in timing, but likely good
Crypt Lord: should have lifelink instead of vigilance. Vigilance isn't black and lifelink matches the token for symmetry.
Zilean: Good.
Crypt Lord: should have lifelink instead of vigilance. Vigilance isn't black and lifelink matches the token for symmetry.
Yeah but look at the art: the Crypt Lord looks so vigilant !! hahaha but I get the point: it's true that vigilance isn't black at all. I'm not quite sure about lifelink though, since it doesn't fit the flavor of the crypt lord. That being said, I will look into it! Thank you for your comments DJK3654
Small update to remind you guys that my site now contains images of cards of my custom set Arcanae of Aszakir.
You can also find the text spoilers only on this site.
I am looking for feedback to help me continue the desing process !
Alonia- seems a bit weak compared to contaiment priest. Maybe cost instead?
Banish- bit weird that it can't hit vampires, zombies and horrors. Maybe add on of those?
Bylmar recruit- not common, repeatable creature damage is almost never doable at common, the exception being if it's hard to trigger and doesn't do all that much.
Purge mechanic in general: not a good idea. Removing abilities from opposing creatures reduces interactivity and doesn't really warrant a keyword anyway because it's not an effect you want a lot of. A few cards with this effect, around a cycle worth, would be fine but on a mechanic scale this doesn't stand up.
Essence of the Talora- likely OP. Change p/t to 2/2 or increase cost to is my suggestion.
Deluge mechanic in general: seems to be uninteresting not that prowess is a thing, they fight for the same space. The spell version gives more difference though. Maybe make it: Deluge- (When ETB on creatures) If you've cast three or more spells this turn, (effect) Which gives it more of a separate identity and also no longer cares about opponent which brings up the variance problem that just got intimidate and landwalk booted.
Anamnesis- nice design, but it's pretty risky developmentally, WotC development even has a convention that they don't do 1 mana card draw spells. I'd make it and let you put any number of the cards on top.
Aqueous Manifestation- Why doesn't this have scry?
Contemplate the Mists- could probably be scry 3
Essence of the Mists- another pseudo scry. If you are using scry, you shouldn't use other effects that do the same sort of thing, it's confusing and unnecessary.
Energise mechanic in general: this is interesting, but it has two issues. On is memory concerns, how do players keep track of their energised creatures? Using a +1/+1 counter would serve as a reminder, as in monstrosity and renown. The other issues is that this mechanic is just... weird. It cares about lands untapping but it limits only to the untap step, and then it sacrifices the land as a cost. What's going on here? Why does this mechanic exist, what is it trying to do?
Mistshaper Adept- land tokens have issues due to difficulties telling whether they are tapped or not.
Retroversion- this has the false difference problem, that is, it creates an effect that seems interesting but most of the time is irrelevant. The problem being, players don't normally know what either the top or bottom card is, so while drawing a different card is different, the players won't know what that difference was, so the effect is mostly worthless. Adding some sort of library related effect to add in a known relevancy would be an improvement.
Turn to Brume- too close to "destroy target creature" for blue. It's like putting deathtouch and fight on a card, it's not exactly "destroy target creature" but it's close enough that it's ruins the point of the difference in the first place. Dismiss into Dream is much more expensive and splashier (more exciting/interesting cards can strecth limits) so it's more justified and even then it's still controversial.
Discharge mechanic in general: interesting, relevant and developable. This seems good.
Vaporous Apparition- Not a blue card. Aggressive blue creatures get to exist because they care about blue things, not hate them. This card strongly encourages a heavy creature aggro deck in a colour that really, really, shouldn't be doing that. If it only cared about opponents, it would be fine.
Wow thank you DJK3654 ! I really needed that kind of critical review !
Cards Alonia - Changed the cost to 4WW. In the set she is meant to counter Discharge, but she also counters cascade and flashback among many others. Banish - Added Horrors. But since the spell "sends back" a creature to where it came from, it wouldn't be flavorful if it could target zombies or vampires. Bylmar recruit - Changed to "T: Bylmar Recruit deals 1 damage to target attacking or blocking Elemental." and is now 2/2. Essence of the Talora - I'm not happy with this card right now. I'll look into it. Anamnesis - I really want to keep it U-costed. I'll do any number of cards on top for U and see how it does. Aqueous Manifestation - Changed to scry 2. I didn't even think about it haha. Contemplate the mists - I'm currently redesingning this card, I didn't like it. Essence of the Mists - I want it to mill. I will redesing it not to look so much like scry. Mistshaper Adept - How is it harder to tell if a land token is tapped than a creature token ? Retroversion - I noticed the false difference problem two days ago. I'm working on it. Turn to Brume - I think I will change it to “Whenever this creature becomes the target of a spell or ability, sacrifice it return it to its owner's hand." and add scry/draw. I will also change the mana cost accordingly. Vaporous Apparition - I was also aware of this issue and working on it right now.
Mechanics Purge - Just to be sure, how is it less interesting than, say, detain ? Deluge - This is actually the mechanic I like the least in the set and I was aware that prowess was kind of taking the same place for creatures. For spells I like it though... I don't know what I'm goind to do about it. Energize - Flavorfully, the creatures with this ability can eat mana to become more powerful. When a land untaps is when the land takes its mana back if you will, and that's when the creatures with energize eats the mana. Also, I didn't want the creatures to be able to energize anytime the player wants it since I want the energize effects to be quite good. I removed the untap step limitation, it wasn't useful at all and allows more interaction with other cards such as Voyaging Satyr. Maybe charge counter for tracking ? Discharge - This is the "core" mechanic of the set since it represents very well the chaos that rules the plane of Aszakir. I'm glad you like it !
Should I assume that the cards you didn't comment on are fine ?
About land tokens: They are more difficult to keep track of, creatures perform usual combat actions, so it's more obvious when they are tapped than lands. This comes from WotC playtests, see here.
About purge: detain only prevents combat and activated abilities, very active thigs. Purge fights activated abilities as well as inactive abilities like "at the beginning of the endstep, you gain 1 life" and therefore removes interactivity in a much more aggressive, proactive way. Importantly, it also oes weird things with certain cards, for example, what happens to Clone or Maro. Detain also gets the bonus of being a small faction mechanic, it doesn't need to have as much design space or cards with it as purge would.
About energize: my recommendation is
Energize [n] (When this creature enters the battlefield, you may sacrifice a land. If you do, put [n] +1/+1 counters on it and it becomes energized.)
This removes the untapping part which doesn't seem very important and gives a simple and reliable timing to it's use. I would avoid charge counters, as putting charge counters on creatures would prevent you from using +1/+1 or -1/-1 counters in the same block, or else tracking complexity goes through the roof. +1/+1 counter are not only more generally usable, they also have an innate effect, so they don't always need other text.
About discharge: this shouldn't be a problem, but be aware of Defence of the Heart and Oath of Druids when making these cards, you don't want to push them into eternal format powerhouses unless you need to and you want to be careful of using the same sort of effects in this block.
You shouldn't assume the cards I don't comment on are fine, they are more likely to be from my perspective, but it mostly means that I didn't have anything I really wanted to say.
Important: Do you have a clear design goal for this set? I feel like I have said this way too many times , but anyway, you should probably have a written statement of what this block is and what it is trying to do. This will not only make criticism easier, but it will be a good reference for yourself when designing. It surprising how often a problem boils down to thinking about the design goal. If you don't have any clear design goal, written or not, this set will not be very successful. If you don't know what you are trying to do, it's much harder to do it right, even if you think you know what you are trying to do.
Concerning Mistshaper Adept, since it's the only card of the set that can generate land tokens and also since it's rare, I'll let it this way until the first playtests of the set and see what it looks like.
I do have a main desing goal:
Create a chaotic world where humans struggle to fight the magic they once used so easily.
I also explained what I wanted to do with all five colors here, on the main thread of my custom set
I want to make the feeling of a "Chaotic World" to have a direct impact on the game. I will do this by trying to make the five colors feel unique and interacting in new ways with elements of the game. W: Light and Order and Last human resistance. (hardest color to desing in this set...)
White being the less chaotic color, it will be the pillar of human resistance to the elemental forces that overflow Aszakir. I designed Purge to be the "whitest" ability of the set.
There are two main factions in white: the spirits of the Talora well, who are peaceful and work with lifegain, and the Spellbreak Church Clerics, who try to hold back the chaos in the plane by forbidding all forms of magic to stabilize it. U: The bottom of the library and Mist elementals.
Many of the blue cards of this set interact with cards on the bottom of the library instead of the cards from the top as blue usually does. It doesn't "change" the mill effects, but it creates a twist that I really like with blue. It allows some new possibilities and I really enjoy exploring where I can go with this ! There is also an energy called The Mist that blue uses. Nobody knows what it is exactly, but it can alter reality in ways that weren't possible at all before. B: Cards in exile and Void elementals.
The Arcanae caused many Void Rifts to open all over Aszakir, brigning all sorts of Void creatures onto the plane. I decided to represent the Void in Aszakir with the exile zone since it's the furthest a card can be from being usable by the player. I won't make cards in exile too easy to return, but many black cards will be able to exile cards from the graveyard or from a player's hand, while other cards will have bonuses based on the number of cards that are in exile. R: Discharge and Lightning/Fire elementals.
Red magic is the most chaotic of all. I created the Discharge mechanic with mostly red in mind, as it allows a spell to cost less if the player takes the risk. The red Elementals, unlike the black ones which are more related to the Void, are the living embodiment of Lightning and Fire energy that was once manipulated by the mages of Aszakir. G: Lands in the graveyard and Forces of nature.
The chaotic energies of the Arcanae severely damaged the mana on Aszakir, often destroying the lands in the process (see Energize). In this set, Green will have many interactions with lands, and especially "destroyed" ones, as the Widlai elves try to restore the land as it once were.
Also, about energize: I don't want the only opportunity for a creature to get energized to be when it enters the battlefield. Maybe I'll just change it to:
Energize(Sacrifice an untapped land you control: Put a +1/+1 counter on this creature and it becomes energized.).
I want the land to be untapped this time because I don't want players to use the mana of the land before sacrificing it: this ability really needs to feel to the player like he's making a huge sacrifice to make the creature better. It also fits my idea of not wanting the creature to be energized the turn it enters the battlefield unless it's late in the game, it could be too good sometimes.
So "chaotic magic world" is the design goal. That's the implication I was getting, which is good.
EDIT: You probably want to expand that design goal to mention how that world would affect the feeling of gameplay. My suggestion, and a pretty obvious one at that, is that "unpredictability" and "explosiveness" should be the experience.
Why is an ETB trigger a problem vs anytime?
As written, your version actually allows you to put multiple counters, though I doubt that's what you intended
Maybe
Energise [n] (Sacrifice an untapped land you control: Put [n] +1/+1 counters on this creature and it becomes energized.)
I think using [n] variable is better because it allows you to more easily do energize cards without a related ability, which would be useful for filling out commons.
"unpredictability" and "explosiveness" should be the experience
That's exactly what I'm trying to do, without putting too much random stuff since it's not that fun. Maybe a little more than usual though.
For Energize, I just don't want only one opportunity for the creature to use the ability... It gives more choice to the player I guess. But again, it kind of goes against the ''unpredictable'' nature of the ability, so I'll have to consider that.
And you are right, my version wasn't intended to allow multiple counters haha, good catch.
As for the [n] variable, I'm not quite sure. I like it with only one counter, since I really don't want too much counters stuff in this set. I understand that it might be needed for tracking issues and it could represent the power gain of the energized creature, but the main effect will be something else than the counter. For the commons, it's still easily doable
I'll look into it within the next few days and come up with Energize 2.0!
In order to give a feeling of unpredictability, I would try to focus on the suspense before you know what happens that not knowing things in the first place. That is, pulling focus to things you don't know about without changing the amount of time you know about it or how often you encounter it. This would be accomplished by caring about unpredictable things instead of making them happen. The most obvious theme to take from this is library matters. It's relatively easy to make the game feel more unpredictable by caring about the library, without actually making the game more unpredictable. You wouldn't necessarily need a mechanic for a library matters theme if you do it, but it would likely be good idea.
Energize and Discharge do a good job of covering explosiveness, so the rest of that theme would just be a select portion of individual designs to play into the idea.
It's probably a good idea idea to do some form of playtesting with the different versions of Energize to see which one seems to have the best gameplay before you factor for flavour and thematics.
Using [n] would make common easier, not necessarily more doable. Extra text on every common takes complexity points rather quickly, not to the extent that it couldn't be done, but it might be preferable to not. Plus, it would allow for some spike-y raw efficiency cards. But then again, there is also a very slight increase in comprehension complexity with having different numbers rather than one (it's easier to remember how a mechanic works if it always does the same thing).
I like very much the idea of a "library matters" theme.
I understand that Purge isn't that a good idea. I now need to fix both Purge and Deluge (i still need a mechanic for the ''cast spells is dangerous'' theme... maybe I will bring back Storm.)
The problem is that I also need a mechanic for white, which was the first purpose of Purge. I have to keep in mind that the Spellbreak Church tries to prevent all magic from being used on the plane in order to stabilize it.
The site has been relaunched. It's now intended as a portfolio containing all my individual cards as well as my long-term projects. It's a lot cleaner now, and the cards on it are much cooler than before. I will probably re-upload some cards that were there before, but they will have proper artist credits and better overall design.
This site is my portfolio, containing...
...all the individual custom cards I make. I add new cards frequently.
...my long-term projects, such as my custom set Aszakir: Chaos Rising and Gathering of Heroes.
https://doortonothingness.wordpress.com/
NOTE: The cards posted on this thread are no longer on the site since it's been reset. The cards that are now on the site are much more "professionnal" (and cool, hehe).
Feedback is always appreciated!
Thank you.
Custom set projects:
Aenyr: Art is Magic (100% done and fully draftable!)
Elestral: Astronomy, Weather and Duality (Currently in early design.)
Multiplayer commander decks
RGWU Bruse and Thrasios: Enchanted Alliance | BR Grenzo's Jail of Malevolence | RWU Shu Yun's Teachings | B Toshiro Umezawa's Eternal Journey | WU Ephara's City of Wonders
Avatar art by Stephan A. McGowan
Custom set projects:
Aenyr: Art is Magic (100% done and fully draftable!)
Elestral: Astronomy, Weather and Duality (Currently in early design.)
Multiplayer commander decks
RGWU Bruse and Thrasios: Enchanted Alliance | BR Grenzo's Jail of Malevolence | RWU Shu Yun's Teachings | B Toshiro Umezawa's Eternal Journey | WU Ephara's City of Wonders
Avatar art by Stephan A. McGowan
Drone art by Blizzard, taken on http://raa-media.nl/blog/starcraft2/zvz-alpha-omega.
Dark Cultist art by D-MAC on DeviantArt, taken on https://www.pinterest.com/ravenwalker/characters-villains/
Unholy Thrall art by ???, taken on http://diablo.wikia.com/wiki/Dark_Thrall
Keeper of the Grove art by ???, taken on http://wowwiki.wikia.com/Remulos
Mana Storm art by Juri Hahhalev, taken on http://art.alphacoders.com/arts/view/4981/Blue-Energy-Tornado-Art
Should I do the same on my website ? I'm quite new to this, I used to do cards only for my own self and I don't really know how all of this works, I was only ready to show my ideas to the internet !
Custom set projects:
Aenyr: Art is Magic (100% done and fully draftable!)
Elestral: Astronomy, Weather and Duality (Currently in early design.)
Multiplayer commander decks
RGWU Bruse and Thrasios: Enchanted Alliance | BR Grenzo's Jail of Malevolence | RWU Shu Yun's Teachings | B Toshiro Umezawa's Eternal Journey | WU Ephara's City of Wonders
Avatar art by Stephan A. McGowan
Simply put the artist name on the bottom of the associated card (next to the little paintbrush icon)
Are you designing commons? Check out my primer on NWO.
Interested in making a custom set? Check out my Set skeleton and archetype primer.
I also write articles about getting started with custom card creation.
Go and PLAYTEST your designs, you will learn more in a single playtests than a dozen discussions.
My custom sets:
Dreamscape
Coins of Mercalis [COMPLETE]
Exodus of Zendikar - ON HOLD
Yeah, I know... The only two abilities that did that in the game were Fading and Vanishing. I didn't want to create an ability only for one card, so I chose Vanishing beause it was from the Time Spiral block and, well, I really like this block
Did you look at my site ? I would appreciate other comments ! And thank you for this one.
Custom set projects:
Aenyr: Art is Magic (100% done and fully draftable!)
Elestral: Astronomy, Weather and Duality (Currently in early design.)
Multiplayer commander decks
RGWU Bruse and Thrasios: Enchanted Alliance | BR Grenzo's Jail of Malevolence | RWU Shu Yun's Teachings | B Toshiro Umezawa's Eternal Journey | WU Ephara's City of Wonders
Avatar art by Stephan A. McGowan
No. I think it would be more appropriate for you to post your cards here rather than invite people away from here to your website.
I did it for all the cards on the site !
Custom set projects:
Aenyr: Art is Magic (100% done and fully draftable!)
Elestral: Astronomy, Weather and Duality (Currently in early design.)
Multiplayer commander decks
RGWU Bruse and Thrasios: Enchanted Alliance | BR Grenzo's Jail of Malevolence | RWU Shu Yun's Teachings | B Toshiro Umezawa's Eternal Journey | WU Ephara's City of Wonders
Avatar art by Stephan A. McGowan
Custom set projects:
Aenyr: Art is Magic (100% done and fully draftable!)
Elestral: Astronomy, Weather and Duality (Currently in early design.)
Multiplayer commander decks
RGWU Bruse and Thrasios: Enchanted Alliance | BR Grenzo's Jail of Malevolence | RWU Shu Yun's Teachings | B Toshiro Umezawa's Eternal Journey | WU Ephara's City of Wonders
Avatar art by Stephan A. McGowan
Unoly (sic) Thrall: Typo in name, 4/7 stats are a bit weird for a clearly very aggressive creature, 5/6 or 6/5 would seem more appropriate.
Keeper of the Grove: memory issues, but nothing necessarily unjustifiable.
Tyrael: "can't cast permanent spells"
Ashenvale Dryad: Seems a bit weak, 2/2 maybe?
RUNIN: Norse mythology set (awaiting further playtesting)
FATE of ALARA: Multicolour factions (currently on hiatus)
Contibutor to the Pyrulea community set
I'm here to tell you that all your set mechanics are bad
#Defundthepolice
I fixed the typo of the Unholy Thrall, but kept him 4/7. In Diablo III, this monster is very hard to kill and very agressive, but doesn't do that much damage.
I tried to fix the wording on Tyrael's ability, but I'm still not quite sure about the result. The point is that I don't want any opponent to have more permanents on the battlefield that the player having Tyrael under his or her control. Could you maybe help me with the wording ?
You are right, she is now a 2/2 creature.
Thanks again !!
Custom set projects:
Aenyr: Art is Magic (100% done and fully draftable!)
Elestral: Astronomy, Weather and Duality (Currently in early design.)
Multiplayer commander decks
RGWU Bruse and Thrasios: Enchanted Alliance | BR Grenzo's Jail of Malevolence | RWU Shu Yun's Teachings | B Toshiro Umezawa's Eternal Journey | WU Ephara's City of Wonders
Avatar art by Stephan A. McGowan
Custom set projects:
Aenyr: Art is Magic (100% done and fully draftable!)
Elestral: Astronomy, Weather and Duality (Currently in early design.)
Multiplayer commander decks
RGWU Bruse and Thrasios: Enchanted Alliance | BR Grenzo's Jail of Malevolence | RWU Shu Yun's Teachings | B Toshiro Umezawa's Eternal Journey | WU Ephara's City of Wonders
Avatar art by Stephan A. McGowan
Dark Iron Elementalist: a bit conflicting in timing, but likely good
Crypt Lord: should have lifelink instead of vigilance. Vigilance isn't black and lifelink matches the token for symmetry.
Zilean: Good.
RUNIN: Norse mythology set (awaiting further playtesting)
FATE of ALARA: Multicolour factions (currently on hiatus)
Contibutor to the Pyrulea community set
I'm here to tell you that all your set mechanics are bad
#Defundthepolice
Custom set projects:
Aenyr: Art is Magic (100% done and fully draftable!)
Elestral: Astronomy, Weather and Duality (Currently in early design.)
Multiplayer commander decks
RGWU Bruse and Thrasios: Enchanted Alliance | BR Grenzo's Jail of Malevolence | RWU Shu Yun's Teachings | B Toshiro Umezawa's Eternal Journey | WU Ephara's City of Wonders
Avatar art by Stephan A. McGowan
You can also find the text spoilers only on this site.
I am looking for feedback to help me continue the desing process !
Custom set projects:
Aenyr: Art is Magic (100% done and fully draftable!)
Elestral: Astronomy, Weather and Duality (Currently in early design.)
Multiplayer commander decks
RGWU Bruse and Thrasios: Enchanted Alliance | BR Grenzo's Jail of Malevolence | RWU Shu Yun's Teachings | B Toshiro Umezawa's Eternal Journey | WU Ephara's City of Wonders
Avatar art by Stephan A. McGowan
Alonia- seems a bit weak compared to contaiment priest. Maybe cost instead?
Banish- bit weird that it can't hit vampires, zombies and horrors. Maybe add on of those?
Bylmar recruit- not common, repeatable creature damage is almost never doable at common, the exception being if it's hard to trigger and doesn't do all that much.
Purge mechanic in general: not a good idea. Removing abilities from opposing creatures reduces interactivity and doesn't really warrant a keyword anyway because it's not an effect you want a lot of. A few cards with this effect, around a cycle worth, would be fine but on a mechanic scale this doesn't stand up.
Essence of the Talora- likely OP. Change p/t to 2/2 or increase cost to is my suggestion.
Deluge mechanic in general: seems to be uninteresting not that prowess is a thing, they fight for the same space. The spell version gives more difference though. Maybe make it: Deluge- (When ETB on creatures) If you've cast three or more spells this turn, (effect) Which gives it more of a separate identity and also no longer cares about opponent which brings up the variance problem that just got intimidate and landwalk booted.
Anamnesis- nice design, but it's pretty risky developmentally, WotC development even has a convention that they don't do 1 mana card draw spells. I'd make it and let you put any number of the cards on top.
Aqueous Manifestation- Why doesn't this have scry?
Contemplate the Mists- could probably be scry 3
Essence of the Mists- another pseudo scry. If you are using scry, you shouldn't use other effects that do the same sort of thing, it's confusing and unnecessary.
Energise mechanic in general: this is interesting, but it has two issues. On is memory concerns, how do players keep track of their energised creatures? Using a +1/+1 counter would serve as a reminder, as in monstrosity and renown. The other issues is that this mechanic is just... weird. It cares about lands untapping but it limits only to the untap step, and then it sacrifices the land as a cost. What's going on here? Why does this mechanic exist, what is it trying to do?
Mistshaper Adept- land tokens have issues due to difficulties telling whether they are tapped or not.
Retroversion- this has the false difference problem, that is, it creates an effect that seems interesting but most of the time is irrelevant. The problem being, players don't normally know what either the top or bottom card is, so while drawing a different card is different, the players won't know what that difference was, so the effect is mostly worthless. Adding some sort of library related effect to add in a known relevancy would be an improvement.
Turn to Brume- too close to "destroy target creature" for blue. It's like putting deathtouch and fight on a card, it's not exactly "destroy target creature" but it's close enough that it's ruins the point of the difference in the first place. Dismiss into Dream is much more expensive and splashier (more exciting/interesting cards can strecth limits) so it's more justified and even then it's still controversial.
Discharge mechanic in general: interesting, relevant and developable. This seems good.
Vaporous Apparition- Not a blue card. Aggressive blue creatures get to exist because they care about blue things, not hate them. This card strongly encourages a heavy creature aggro deck in a colour that really, really, shouldn't be doing that. If it only cared about opponents, it would be fine.
Red, black, green and multicolour to follow.
RUNIN: Norse mythology set (awaiting further playtesting)
FATE of ALARA: Multicolour factions (currently on hiatus)
Contibutor to the Pyrulea community set
I'm here to tell you that all your set mechanics are bad
#Defundthepolice
Cards
Alonia - Changed the cost to 4WW. In the set she is meant to counter Discharge, but she also counters cascade and flashback among many others.
Banish - Added Horrors. But since the spell "sends back" a creature to where it came from, it wouldn't be flavorful if it could target zombies or vampires.
Bylmar recruit - Changed to "T: Bylmar Recruit deals 1 damage to target attacking or blocking Elemental." and is now 2/2.
Essence of the Talora - I'm not happy with this card right now. I'll look into it.
Anamnesis - I really want to keep it U-costed. I'll do any number of cards on top for U and see how it does.
Aqueous Manifestation - Changed to scry 2. I didn't even think about it haha.
Contemplate the mists - I'm currently redesingning this card, I didn't like it.
Essence of the Mists - I want it to mill. I will redesing it not to look so much like scry.
Mistshaper Adept - How is it harder to tell if a land token is tapped than a creature token ?
Retroversion - I noticed the false difference problem two days ago. I'm working on it.
Turn to Brume - I think I will change it to “Whenever this creature becomes the target of a spell or ability,
sacrifice itreturn it to its owner's hand." and add scry/draw. I will also change the mana cost accordingly.Vaporous Apparition - I was also aware of this issue and working on it right now.
Mechanics
Purge - Just to be sure, how is it less interesting than, say, detain ?
Deluge - This is actually the mechanic I like the least in the set and I was aware that prowess was kind of taking the same place for creatures. For spells I like it though... I don't know what I'm goind to do about it.
Energize - Flavorfully, the creatures with this ability can eat mana to become more powerful. When a land untaps is when the land takes its mana back if you will, and that's when the creatures with energize eats the mana. Also, I didn't want the creatures to be able to energize anytime the player wants it since I want the energize effects to be quite good. I removed the untap step limitation, it wasn't useful at all and allows more interaction with other cards such as Voyaging Satyr. Maybe charge counter for tracking ?
Discharge - This is the "core" mechanic of the set since it represents very well the chaos that rules the plane of Aszakir. I'm glad you like it !
Should I assume that the cards you didn't comment on are fine ?
Thanks again!!
Custom set projects:
Aenyr: Art is Magic (100% done and fully draftable!)
Elestral: Astronomy, Weather and Duality (Currently in early design.)
Multiplayer commander decks
RGWU Bruse and Thrasios: Enchanted Alliance | BR Grenzo's Jail of Malevolence | RWU Shu Yun's Teachings | B Toshiro Umezawa's Eternal Journey | WU Ephara's City of Wonders
Avatar art by Stephan A. McGowan
About purge: detain only prevents combat and activated abilities, very active thigs. Purge fights activated abilities as well as inactive abilities like "at the beginning of the endstep, you gain 1 life" and therefore removes interactivity in a much more aggressive, proactive way. Importantly, it also oes weird things with certain cards, for example, what happens to Clone or Maro. Detain also gets the bonus of being a small faction mechanic, it doesn't need to have as much design space or cards with it as purge would.
About energize: my recommendation is
Energize [n] (When this creature enters the battlefield, you may sacrifice a land. If you do, put [n] +1/+1 counters on it and it becomes energized.)
This removes the untapping part which doesn't seem very important and gives a simple and reliable timing to it's use. I would avoid charge counters, as putting charge counters on creatures would prevent you from using +1/+1 or -1/-1 counters in the same block, or else tracking complexity goes through the roof. +1/+1 counter are not only more generally usable, they also have an innate effect, so they don't always need other text.
About discharge: this shouldn't be a problem, but be aware of Defence of the Heart and Oath of Druids when making these cards, you don't want to push them into eternal format powerhouses unless you need to and you want to be careful of using the same sort of effects in this block.
You shouldn't assume the cards I don't comment on are fine, they are more likely to be from my perspective, but it mostly means that I didn't have anything I really wanted to say.
Important: Do you have a clear design goal for this set? I feel like I have said this way too many times , but anyway, you should probably have a written statement of what this block is and what it is trying to do. This will not only make criticism easier, but it will be a good reference for yourself when designing. It surprising how often a problem boils down to thinking about the design goal. If you don't have any clear design goal, written or not, this set will not be very successful. If you don't know what you are trying to do, it's much harder to do it right, even if you think you know what you are trying to do.
RUNIN: Norse mythology set (awaiting further playtesting)
FATE of ALARA: Multicolour factions (currently on hiatus)
Contibutor to the Pyrulea community set
I'm here to tell you that all your set mechanics are bad
#Defundthepolice
I do have a main desing goal: I also explained what I wanted to do with all five colors here, on the main thread of my custom set
Also, about energize: I don't want the only opportunity for a creature to get energized to be when it enters the battlefield. Maybe I'll just change it to:
Energize (Sacrifice an untapped land you control: Put a +1/+1 counter on this creature and it becomes energized.).
I want the land to be untapped this time because I don't want players to use the mana of the land before sacrificing it: this ability really needs to feel to the player like he's making a huge sacrifice to make the creature better. It also fits my idea of not wanting the creature to be energized the turn it enters the battlefield unless it's late in the game, it could be too good sometimes.
Custom set projects:
Aenyr: Art is Magic (100% done and fully draftable!)
Elestral: Astronomy, Weather and Duality (Currently in early design.)
Multiplayer commander decks
RGWU Bruse and Thrasios: Enchanted Alliance | BR Grenzo's Jail of Malevolence | RWU Shu Yun's Teachings | B Toshiro Umezawa's Eternal Journey | WU Ephara's City of Wonders
Avatar art by Stephan A. McGowan
EDIT: You probably want to expand that design goal to mention how that world would affect the feeling of gameplay. My suggestion, and a pretty obvious one at that, is that "unpredictability" and "explosiveness" should be the experience.
Why is an ETB trigger a problem vs anytime?
As written, your version actually allows you to put multiple counters, though I doubt that's what you intended
Maybe
Energise [n] (Sacrifice an untapped land you control: Put [n] +1/+1 counters on this creature and it becomes energized.)
I think using [n] variable is better because it allows you to more easily do energize cards without a related ability, which would be useful for filling out commons.
RUNIN: Norse mythology set (awaiting further playtesting)
FATE of ALARA: Multicolour factions (currently on hiatus)
Contibutor to the Pyrulea community set
I'm here to tell you that all your set mechanics are bad
#Defundthepolice
That's exactly what I'm trying to do, without putting too much random stuff since it's not that fun. Maybe a little more than usual though.
For Energize, I just don't want only one opportunity for the creature to use the ability... It gives more choice to the player I guess. But again, it kind of goes against the ''unpredictable'' nature of the ability, so I'll have to consider that.
And you are right, my version wasn't intended to allow multiple counters haha, good catch.
As for the [n] variable, I'm not quite sure. I like it with only one counter, since I really don't want too much counters stuff in this set. I understand that it might be needed for tracking issues and it could represent the power gain of the energized creature, but the main effect will be something else than the counter. For the commons, it's still easily doable
I'll look into it within the next few days and come up with Energize 2.0!
Custom set projects:
Aenyr: Art is Magic (100% done and fully draftable!)
Elestral: Astronomy, Weather and Duality (Currently in early design.)
Multiplayer commander decks
RGWU Bruse and Thrasios: Enchanted Alliance | BR Grenzo's Jail of Malevolence | RWU Shu Yun's Teachings | B Toshiro Umezawa's Eternal Journey | WU Ephara's City of Wonders
Avatar art by Stephan A. McGowan
Energize and Discharge do a good job of covering explosiveness, so the rest of that theme would just be a select portion of individual designs to play into the idea.
It's probably a good idea idea to do some form of playtesting with the different versions of Energize to see which one seems to have the best gameplay before you factor for flavour and thematics.
Using [n] would make common easier, not necessarily more doable. Extra text on every common takes complexity points rather quickly, not to the extent that it couldn't be done, but it might be preferable to not. Plus, it would allow for some spike-y raw efficiency cards. But then again, there is also a very slight increase in comprehension complexity with having different numbers rather than one (it's easier to remember how a mechanic works if it always does the same thing).
RUNIN: Norse mythology set (awaiting further playtesting)
FATE of ALARA: Multicolour factions (currently on hiatus)
Contibutor to the Pyrulea community set
I'm here to tell you that all your set mechanics are bad
#Defundthepolice
I understand that Purge isn't that a good idea. I now need to fix both Purge and Deluge (i still need a mechanic for the ''cast spells is dangerous'' theme... maybe I will bring back Storm.)
The problem is that I also need a mechanic for white, which was the first purpose of Purge. I have to keep in mind that the Spellbreak Church tries to prevent all magic from being used on the plane in order to stabilize it.
Back to mechanic desing !
Custom set projects:
Aenyr: Art is Magic (100% done and fully draftable!)
Elestral: Astronomy, Weather and Duality (Currently in early design.)
Multiplayer commander decks
RGWU Bruse and Thrasios: Enchanted Alliance | BR Grenzo's Jail of Malevolence | RWU Shu Yun's Teachings | B Toshiro Umezawa's Eternal Journey | WU Ephara's City of Wonders
Avatar art by Stephan A. McGowan
The site has been relaunched. It's now intended as a portfolio containing all my individual cards as well as my long-term projects. It's a lot cleaner now, and the cards on it are much cooler than before. I will probably re-upload some cards that were there before, but they will have proper artist credits and better overall design.
All feedback is, as always, very appreciated
Custom set projects:
Aenyr: Art is Magic (100% done and fully draftable!)
Elestral: Astronomy, Weather and Duality (Currently in early design.)
Multiplayer commander decks
RGWU Bruse and Thrasios: Enchanted Alliance | BR Grenzo's Jail of Malevolence | RWU Shu Yun's Teachings | B Toshiro Umezawa's Eternal Journey | WU Ephara's City of Wonders
Avatar art by Stephan A. McGowan