Im in a competition with some friends about who can make the "best" general i already have my top 2 and i would really like to hear any feedback you guys can give me, here they are:
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For the first guy, repeatable discard is very annoying. Combo this with an efficient creature sacrifice outlet and you lock your opponent out for the rest of the game.
For the second guy, as worded, he can't be killed by damage. The damage being prevented isn't dependent on the +1/+1 counter being removed, so the damage will be prevented even if there are 0 counters.
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How to use card tags (please use them for everybody's sanity)
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] -> Lightning Bolt
[c=Lightning Bolt]Apple Pie[/c] -> Apple Pie
Vowels-Only Format Minimum deck size: 60 Maximum number of identical cards: 4 Ban list: Cards whose English names begin with a consonant, Unglued and Unhinged cards, cards involving ante, Ancestral Recall
Artist credits are required, text versions are appreciated
The fact that Ukto only gets counters for creatures dying does somewhat limit his oppressiveness, but he still seems rather annoying. The first ability kind of overshadows the second. It's also a little weird how this is centered on black. I'm not sure how much help you're allowed to get in this "competition," but here's what I'd do:
Ukto, the Blight Sage3BB
Legendary Creature - Zombie Wizard (M)
Whenever a nontoken creature dies, put a +1/+1 counter on ~. 1U, Remove a +1/+1 counter from ~: Draw a card. 1G, Remove a +1/+1 counter from ~: Put a 1/1 green Snake creature token with deathtouch onto the battlefield.
4/4
Zerayo is kinda weird. There's nothing necessarily wrong with it (other than what Thought Criminal pointed out), but it kind of seems like a mish-mash of random abilities. The go together ok, but they're not nearly has cohesive as Ukto.
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Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
"In the beginning, MTG Salvation switched to a new forum format.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
It was at that moment that I realized: I'm kinda just making these things up. We can just write the rules the way we want them to work. People will have fun, and people will get it.
@Thought Criminal
she can be killed by damage because when you prevent the damage, it says you remove a counter. And since you remove a counter, she will be killed when she becomes a 0/0
EDIT: wait, no... I just realized she is a 1/3... she really should have different wording.
@Thought Criminal @MOON-E and @cccccc808 thanks for all the feedback has been very usefull so i made a few changes i would like to hear what you think:
Ukto is kind of busted now. Compare to Harvester of Souls, which costs more, doesn't get bigger, and doesn't have two additional abilities. Being a multicolored legendary mtyhic you can obviously be a bit stronger than Harvester, but this is leaps and bounds beyond.
Zerayo is still kinda strange. The rattlesnake ability of "If you try to kill me you'll lose your stuff instead" is interesting, but the kicker-counter thing is kind of lost on me. What this card really does is get chump blocked (or sits back blocking) until someone finds a non-lethal way of dealing with her.
It was at that moment that I realized: I'm kinda just making these things up. We can just write the rules the way we want them to work. People will have fun, and people will get it.
Ukto, the Blight Sage 2BUG
Whenever a +1/+1 counter is placed on Ukto, the Blight Sage, you may draw a card. Sacrifice a creature: Put a +1/+1 counter on Ukto. BG, Remove a +1/+1 counter from Ukto: Put a 1/1 black Zombie creature token with deathtouch onto the battlefield.
It appears that this was a little OP because how "good" linked the abilities were, i really liked though i wanted to have the 3 different guild's mechanics, and dimir was ausent so i pass to something like this:
Ukto, the Blight Sage 2BUG
Whenever another nontoken creature dies, put a 1/1 black Zombie creature token with deathtouch onto the battlefield.
Token creatures you control have "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, you may sacrifice it. If you do, that player discards a card and you draw a card. BG: Regenerate Ukto, the Blight Sage.
but then again too much wording and lack of "simic" counters made me change it... so the number three was the one i posted here but i really like the part of the first one i made about drawing each time a +1/+1 counter is placed on him because i feel thats the nature of those colors: "i grow bigger(green) thanks to the dead arround me (black) but i also get smarter you fool(blue)" "an army you said yes i have an army... right beneath my feet all the ones you once loved" that two phrases i think capture the essence of Ukto
And Zerayo, well the ability that i struggle so hard to accomplish is that beign black, red, and white the most destructives color in the game (white usually with a downside) so the first idea was a warrior a legend an invincible who when in the darkest moment she prevail and banish that darkness she actually weakens herself "get the prize for a price", the mechanic started with +1/+1 counters and that zerayo grow stronger depending on how much mana you spent to cast her but you can also cast her for just 3 mana and have a 1/3 double strike haste with no counters, the option to play it differently depending the situation, like you mention the idea is bring chaos, normally when you hurt a creature it dies but instead she destroys (chaos-red), exile (wich is common for white and black) and thats the why of zerayo
IMO, the main thing your cards are lacking right now is elegance. They both have too many abilities that seem random and out of place. I think the important thing to remember is not to try and capture every aspect of every color combination on each card, just try to think of one specific goal or mechanic you want to showcase.
Note: This is just how we'd normally design cards, so I can't speak for what your friends in particular will like.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
"In the beginning, MTG Salvation switched to a new forum format.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
It was at that moment that I realized: I'm kinda just making these things up. We can just write the rules the way we want them to work. People will have fun, and people will get it.
For the first guy, repeatable discard is very annoying. Combo this with an efficient creature sacrifice outlet and you lock your opponent out for the rest of the game.
For the second guy, as worded, he can't be killed by damage. The damage being prevented isn't dependent on the +1/+1 counter being removed, so the damage will be prevented even if there are 0 counters.
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] -> Lightning Bolt
[c=Lightning Bolt]Apple Pie[/c] -> Apple Pie
Vowels-Only Format
Minimum deck size: 60
Maximum number of identical cards: 4
Ban list: Cards whose English names begin with a consonant, Unglued and Unhinged cards, cards involving ante, Ancestral Recall
The fact that Ukto only gets counters for creatures dying does somewhat limit his oppressiveness, but he still seems rather annoying. The first ability kind of overshadows the second. It's also a little weird how this is centered on black. I'm not sure how much help you're allowed to get in this "competition," but here's what I'd do:
Legendary Creature - Zombie Wizard (M)
Whenever a nontoken creature dies, put a +1/+1 counter on ~.
1U, Remove a +1/+1 counter from ~: Draw a card.
1G, Remove a +1/+1 counter from ~: Put a 1/1 green Snake creature token with deathtouch onto the battlefield.
4/4
Zerayo is kinda weird. There's nothing necessarily wrong with it (other than what Thought Criminal pointed out), but it kind of seems like a mish-mash of random abilities. The go together ok, but they're not nearly has cohesive as Ukto.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
Comic Book Set
Archester: Frontier of Steam (A steampunk set!)
A Good Place to Start Designing
she can be killed by damage because when you prevent the damage, it says you remove a counter. And since you remove a counter, she will be killed when she becomes a 0/0
EDIT: wait, no... I just realized she is a 1/3... she really should have different wording.
CHECK OUT MY TRIBAL CUSTOM SET KREVAN
http://www.mtgsalvation.com/forums/creativity/custom-card-creation/custom-set-creation-and/530273-krevan-the-first-set-in-a-tribal-block
Zerayo is still kinda strange. The rattlesnake ability of "If you try to kill me you'll lose your stuff instead" is interesting, but the kicker-counter thing is kind of lost on me. What this card really does is get chump blocked (or sits back blocking) until someone finds a non-lethal way of dealing with her.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
Comic Book Set
Archester: Frontier of Steam (A steampunk set!)
A Good Place to Start Designing
Ukto, the Blight Sage 2BUG
Whenever a +1/+1 counter is placed on Ukto, the Blight Sage, you may draw a card.
Sacrifice a creature: Put a +1/+1 counter on Ukto.
BG, Remove a +1/+1 counter from Ukto: Put a 1/1 black Zombie creature token with deathtouch onto the battlefield.
It appears that this was a little OP because how "good" linked the abilities were, i really liked though i wanted to have the 3 different guild's mechanics, and dimir was ausent so i pass to something like this:
Ukto, the Blight Sage 2BUG
Whenever another nontoken creature dies, put a 1/1 black Zombie creature token with deathtouch onto the battlefield.
Token creatures you control have "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, you may sacrifice it. If you do, that player discards a card and you draw a card.
BG: Regenerate Ukto, the Blight Sage.
but then again too much wording and lack of "simic" counters made me change it... so the number three was the one i posted here but i really like the part of the first one i made about drawing each time a +1/+1 counter is placed on him because i feel thats the nature of those colors: "i grow bigger(green) thanks to the dead arround me (black) but i also get smarter you fool(blue)" "an army you said yes i have an army... right beneath my feet all the ones you once loved" that two phrases i think capture the essence of Ukto
And Zerayo, well the ability that i struggle so hard to accomplish is that beign black, red, and white the most destructives color in the game (white usually with a downside) so the first idea was a warrior a legend an invincible who when in the darkest moment she prevail and banish that darkness she actually weakens herself "get the prize for a price", the mechanic started with +1/+1 counters and that zerayo grow stronger depending on how much mana you spent to cast her but you can also cast her for just 3 mana and have a 1/3 double strike haste with no counters, the option to play it differently depending the situation, like you mention the idea is bring chaos, normally when you hurt a creature it dies but instead she destroys (chaos-red), exile (wich is common for white and black) and thats the why of zerayo
Note: This is just how we'd normally design cards, so I can't speak for what your friends in particular will like.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
Comic Book Set
Archester: Frontier of Steam (A steampunk set!)
A Good Place to Start Designing