I have come up with Planeswalker cards for myself and a couple of friends. I am working on the art but would appreciate some feedback on the mechanics. I am relatively new to Magic (I mostly play Commander) and this is my first time creating cards. They are supposed to be thematically silly but I would like to hear everyone's thoughts on how they might actually work, the language used, and so on. Feel free to let me know if they are terrible too. Anyway, here goes:
*UPDATED following feedback*
DANNY, HEAD OF NATURE
Planeswalker - Danny +1 Return up to one creature card that was put into the graveyard this turn to your hand. -2 Creature spells cost 2 mana less this turn. -6 Put a 12/12 green Elk creature token with trample and hexproof onto the battlefield.
Loyalty: 3
CAROLINE, THE CLARIFYER
Planeswalker - Caroline +1 This turn, when an instant is cast, you may move one spell of your choice to the top of the stack. -6 Search your library for three creatures with flying, put them on the battlefield, then shuffle your deck. -8 Take an extra turn after this one. Double your life total.
Loyalty: 4
PATRICK, JUBEOMANCER
Planeswalker - Patrick +1 Place three 0/1 blue Jubefish creature tokens on the battlefield. 0 Distribute X +1/+1 counters among any number of target creatures, where X is the number of Jubefish creature tokens you control. -8 You gain an emblem with "Jubefish creature tokens you control get +7/+6 and have flying. These tokens are also Cats."
Loyalty: 5
Danny - you can't replace an event that has already completed. An easy fix would be to reword it to Disentomb. 'Return target creature card from your graveyard to your hand.' Right now the + loyalty ability is incredibly narrow (a creature must have died during or before your main phase).
Caroline - current Rules terminology doesn't support 'the turn starting over'. Taken literally, it would allow you to draw your entire library and place multiple counters in one turn. The second ability doesn't work, since Planeswalker abilities can only be activated whenever you could play a Sorcery, which is when the stack is empty. The final ability suffers from a disconnect - the first half of the ultimate doesn't have a connection to the second half.
I understand what you mean in terms of the language of Danny's card. I had also failed to remember that Planeswalker abilities cannot happen after the combat. This whole ability might need to be reworked otherwise it doesn't really work in terms of the colour. Thanks for pointing that out.
I see what you mean about the infinite drawing with Caroline. Ignoring that there isn't anything in Magic that lets you travel back in time to the start of the turn (which is essentially the intent), would it work if it said instead "from after the draw step" ? Or something like "you may repeat the combat phase" ? I also see what you mean with the stack ability. Maybe it would work with "during your turn, you may move one spell of your choice to the top of the stack" ? I really like the idea behind that one. As for the second half, you are totally right about the two parts not fitting. But if you knew the player, this would make sense - she plays a very annoying air + lifegain deck
I had also failed to remember that Planeswalker abilities cannot happen after the combat.
Loyalty abilities can be activated during a postcombat main phase, so long as the loyalty ability of a permanent hasn't been activated before then.
....there isn't anything in Magic that lets you travel back in time to the start of the turn (which is essentially the intent), would it work if it said instead "from after the draw step" ? Or something like "you may repeat the combat phase" ?
There is no notion of traveling back in time in Magic. There are too many logistics issues with restarting a turn. In particular, there is no way to rewind cards going into libraries or hands. The only way to make traveling back in time in Magic work is to have all cards in all zones revealed for the entirety of the game to verify that players aren't cheating, and that isn't the best of ways to play the game.
I also see what you mean with the stack ability. Maybe it would work with "during your turn, you may move one spell of your choice to the top of the stack" ? I really like the idea behind that one.
"This turn, any time you could cast an instant, you may move a spell of your choice to the top of the stack."
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
How to use card tags (please use them for everybody's sanity)
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] -> Lightning Bolt
[c=Lightning Bolt]Apple Pie[/c] -> Apple Pie
Vowels-Only Format Minimum deck size: 60 Maximum number of identical cards: 4 Ban list: Cards whose English names begin with a consonant, Unglued and Unhinged cards, cards involving ante, Ancestral Recall
The planeswalker subtypes should be their names, or something like that. No planeswalkers are ever human or druid or anything on their typeline, to make the uniqueness rule work properly.
Danny seems decent a flavorful. Not too OP.
Patrick needs some work. I get where the first ability links to the third. I think it might be better with an emblem, and less power. Say all the fish things gain cat, and get a +6/+5 or something of the like. I don't know, it seems like it needs a little more thought.
Caroline's +1 is better than her ultimate. Three creatures with flying and a doubling of life is nice, but fairly easy to deal with. Getting extra turns is a pretty big thing, and there is a reason Time walk is banned. You can basically use her to infinity if the turn restarts. That seems like it would be a new turn, so you would keep using her and making more turns. If not and there was a clause preventing it, that's still you getting pretty much 2 turns every turn, with only one end phase. So anything like Patrick's ability would keep those starfish from dying, or anything else that triggers at the end of a turn, would be delayed every turn, and get way more use out of it.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Whats the big deal about black lotus you ask? Well you see, there is no big deal about it. It IS the big deal.
First thing to remember is that planeswalker types are names of the walkers rather than creature types. So the first one would be Planeswalker - Danny for instance.
DANNY, HEAD OF NATURE
Planeswalker - Human Druid +1 Target creature you control that was sent to the graveyard this turn is put in your hand instead. -2 Creature spells cost less this turn. -6 Put a 12/12 green Elk creature token with trample onto the battlefield.
Loyalty: 3
The first ability would work better as "Return up to one creature card that was put into the graveyard this turn to your hand."
I think this card is firmly mono green at this point. Maybe a 1GG casting cost would be better.
CAROLINE, THE CLARIFYER
Planeswalker - Human Mage +1 Return all cards played this turn to their owner's hands. Untap any permanents that were tapped this turn. The turn starts over from after the upkeep. -1 Move target spell to the top of the stack. -8 Search your library for three creatures with flying, put them on the battlefield, then shuffle your deck. Double your life total.
Loyalty: 4
The first ability is somewhat awkward, while simultaneously being overpowered. What's to stop me using this plus a simply shock to win the game through infinite turns. I would think about what you were trying to acheive and find a simply low powered version of it (say untap some permanents).
The -1 doesn't work because planeswalker do not activate abilities at instant speed, and as an effect it still doesn't do much while requiring a lot of rules understanding off everyone involved.
The ultimate feels disconnected - why double the life total at the end. Maybe just put three creatures into play and use the second ability for life gain.
PATRICK, JUBEOMANCER
Planeswalker - Fish Wizard +2 Place five 0/1 blue Jubefish creature tokens on the battlefield. They get -0/-1 at the end of this turn. -X Place +1/+1 counters on Patrick, Jubeomancer. You may move these counters from Patrick, Jubeomancer to any creature at any time. -10 All Jubefish you control become 7/7 black Super Jubefish creature tokens with flying. These tokens are also Cats.
Loyalty: 5
This just isn't working. I get the feelinf you want this guy to work around Jubefish but the execution is somewhat off. For the +2 I wouldn't bother with the sac trigger - 0/1 are rarely that important and the other abilites want them to live past this turn. Maybe just reduce the number produced to compensate.
The second ability involves putting +1/+1 counters on your planeswalker. Your better just saying "Distribute X +1/+1 counters among creatures you control. Until your next turn, creatures with counters placed on them this way "Remove a +1/+1 counter: place a +1/+1 counter on another target creature." That said, I type this, remember Doubling Season and realise that doesn't work. Maybe "Place X +1/+1 counters on target creature you control. Until your next turn, that creatures has "Remove a +1/+1 counter: place a +1/+1 counter on another target creature." works better.
If it was me I would simply make the ultimate "You gain an emblem with Creatures you control are 7/7" The creature types don't matter that much in my opinion.
Hope my advice helps and I would love to see what you produce in the future.
Thank you both (Thought Criminal and Thylakaleo) for the feedback.
Re: Danny - thanks for the clarification on timing for abilities. I think then he could have the straightforward return from the graveyard to hand.
Re: Caroline. Maybe her +1 should be her ultimate. That way the card would work within the rules. Still untap anything tapped this turn, return anything played this turn to owner's hand, then you get a second turn after this one. Nothing about returning drawn card so that would avoid that problem. You couldn't repeat this ability infinitely, and there shouldn't be any way to abuse it like there is for Time Walk. So maybe that at -8, then the flying/life one could be -4, and the stack one could be +1. Thank you for the clarification for how that would be said.
Re: Patrick, I agree with what you're saying. I like using it as an emblem, so it works going forward for him. But I'm not sure how it would work with what I was trying to do, which was to make all three abilities work together. Easy generation of weak creatures, but need the counters to keep them alive after that turn. Then if you manage to keep them alive, they can grow huge. The emblem would prevent you from needing the counters. Hmmm....
And thank you for the feedback as well, Antny223. I have taken a lot of what you said and changed the text in the cards. This has been updated at the top of the page to reflect these changes.
Just to clarify Caroline a bit, the purpose of the untapping and returning cards to so that opposing players are not at too much of a disadvantage mana/hand-wise during the second turn.
DANNY, HEAD OF NATURE
Planeswalker - Danny +1 Return up to one creature card that was put into the graveyard this turn to your hand. -2 Creature spells cost 2 mana less this turn. -6 Put a 12/12 green Elk creature token with trample onto the battlefield.
Loyalty: 3
Danny -> first ability, quite flexible, could be those you Channeled , Cycled, died, or even put there from graveyard to be brought back.
second ability: also quite nice, this gives the idea that he likes creatures. I can imagine myr deck using this cards, where all the myrs are free
third: an ok flashy ultimate as a limited bomb.. i don't see how it will be used much in constructed play since it's too prone to removal albeit the big p/t and trample.. (maybe add hexproof ? to make it more usable? )
CAROLINE, THE CLARIFYER
Planeswalker - Caroline +1 This turn, any time you could cast an instant, you may move a spell of your choice to the top of the stack. -4 Search your library for three creatures with flying, put them on the battlefield, then shuffle your deck. -8 Take an extra turn after this one. Double your life total.
Loyalty: 4
Caroline:
1st ability is somewhat broken, this means every spell you play this turn is un-counterable and not just un-counterable, this allows you to go pass through any kind of pseudo counter like Shock vs Giant Growth scenario which it would work in such a way the one on top will win out. this at a +1 is a little bit too much
2nd with her at 4 loyalty starting, caroline translate as 4 mana for 3 creatures with flying from your deck onto the battlefield. i could think of many various wicked flying creatures that could be brought at turn 4.. not just 1, but 3 of them hit the battlefield.
3nd her ultimate is the least broken ability.. i have no problem with this..
PATRICK, JUBEOMANCER
Planeswalker - Patrick +1 Place three 0/1 blue Jubefish creature tokens on the battlefield. -X Place X +1/+1 counters on target creature. That creature has "Remove a +1/+1 counter: place a +1/+1 counter on target creature." -10 You gain an emblem with "Jubefish creature tokens you control are now 7/7 and have flying. These tokens are also Cats."
Loyalty: 5
Patrick are all about the fish and cat 0/1 token that one day becomes big.. second ability wording wise should be that creature gains "Remove bla bla".. i don't really like the idea of this card, it would be a lot neater without the remove clause, unless you give it an until end of turn clause. otherwise, it will give memory issues, which creature still have the ability and which do not..
the ultimate, although powerful, takes too long to achieve.. u need to wait 5 turn before your Jubefish Cat become 7/7 flyers..
Re: Danny, I have changed the last ability to have hexproof, as you suggested.
Re: Caroline, the intent was that one time per turn, you can move one spell to the top of the stack. The way it is written may not reflect that properly now that I reread it with your comments. The problem is the "any time you could cast an instant". Maybe something like "This turn, when an instant is cast, you may move one spell of your choice to the top of the stack." ?? As for the second ability, would it be better to make it an alternate ultimate, at more like -6 or -8, or to reduce the number of creatures?
Re: Patrick, maybe the second ability is just place X counters? I agree about the timing for the last ability too. Maybe at -8?
Thanks very much to everyone again for the feedback, a very friendly community here. I'll wait for your reply to update the card text. Am working on the art and will post the cards when they are finished
Also would Patrick's second ability blend better with the rest of the card if, as suggested above, the emblem gave +7/+6 instead of changing power/toughness?
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
To post a comment, please login or register a new account.
I have come up with Planeswalker cards for myself and a couple of friends. I am working on the art but would appreciate some feedback on the mechanics. I am relatively new to Magic (I mostly play Commander) and this is my first time creating cards. They are supposed to be thematically silly but I would like to hear everyone's thoughts on how they might actually work, the language used, and so on. Feel free to let me know if they are terrible too. Anyway, here goes:
*UPDATED following feedback*
DANNY, HEAD OF NATURE
Planeswalker - Danny
+1 Return up to one creature card that was put into the graveyard this turn to your hand.
-2 Creature spells cost 2 mana less this turn.
-6 Put a 12/12 green Elk creature token with trample and hexproof onto the battlefield.
Loyalty: 3
CAROLINE, THE CLARIFYER
Planeswalker - Caroline
+1 This turn, when an instant is cast, you may move one spell of your choice to the top of the stack.
-6 Search your library for three creatures with flying, put them on the battlefield, then shuffle your deck.
-8 Take an extra turn after this one. Double your life total.
Loyalty: 4
PATRICK, JUBEOMANCER
Planeswalker - Patrick
+1 Place three 0/1 blue Jubefish creature tokens on the battlefield.
0 Distribute X +1/+1 counters among any number of target creatures, where X is the number of Jubefish creature tokens you control.
-8 You gain an emblem with "Jubefish creature tokens you control get +7/+6 and have flying. These tokens are also Cats."
Loyalty: 5
Let me know what you think!
Danny - you can't replace an event that has already completed. An easy fix would be to reword it to Disentomb. 'Return target creature card from your graveyard to your hand.' Right now the + loyalty ability is incredibly narrow (a creature must have died during or before your main phase).
Caroline - current Rules terminology doesn't support 'the turn starting over'. Taken literally, it would allow you to draw your entire library and place multiple counters in one turn. The second ability doesn't work, since Planeswalker abilities can only be activated whenever you could play a Sorcery, which is when the stack is empty. The final ability suffers from a disconnect - the first half of the ultimate doesn't have a connection to the second half.
I understand what you mean in terms of the language of Danny's card. I had also failed to remember that Planeswalker abilities cannot happen after the combat. This whole ability might need to be reworked otherwise it doesn't really work in terms of the colour. Thanks for pointing that out.
I see what you mean about the infinite drawing with Caroline. Ignoring that there isn't anything in Magic that lets you travel back in time to the start of the turn (which is essentially the intent), would it work if it said instead "from after the draw step" ? Or something like "you may repeat the combat phase" ? I also see what you mean with the stack ability. Maybe it would work with "during your turn, you may move one spell of your choice to the top of the stack" ? I really like the idea behind that one. As for the second half, you are totally right about the two parts not fitting. But if you knew the player, this would make sense - she plays a very annoying air + lifegain deck
Loyalty abilities can be activated during a postcombat main phase, so long as the loyalty ability of a permanent hasn't been activated before then.
There is no notion of traveling back in time in Magic. There are too many logistics issues with restarting a turn. In particular, there is no way to rewind cards going into libraries or hands. The only way to make traveling back in time in Magic work is to have all cards in all zones revealed for the entirety of the game to verify that players aren't cheating, and that isn't the best of ways to play the game.
"This turn, any time you could cast an instant, you may move a spell of your choice to the top of the stack."
[c]Lightning Bolt[/c] -> Lightning Bolt
[c=Lightning Bolt]Apple Pie[/c] -> Apple Pie
Vowels-Only Format
Minimum deck size: 60
Maximum number of identical cards: 4
Ban list: Cards whose English names begin with a consonant, Unglued and Unhinged cards, cards involving ante, Ancestral Recall
Danny seems decent a flavorful. Not too OP.
Patrick needs some work. I get where the first ability links to the third. I think it might be better with an emblem, and less power. Say all the fish things gain cat, and get a +6/+5 or something of the like. I don't know, it seems like it needs a little more thought.
Caroline's +1 is better than her ultimate. Three creatures with flying and a doubling of life is nice, but fairly easy to deal with. Getting extra turns is a pretty big thing, and there is a reason Time walk is banned. You can basically use her to infinity if the turn restarts. That seems like it would be a new turn, so you would keep using her and making more turns. If not and there was a clause preventing it, that's still you getting pretty much 2 turns every turn, with only one end phase. So anything like Patrick's ability would keep those starfish from dying, or anything else that triggers at the end of a turn, would be delayed every turn, and get way more use out of it.
The first ability would work better as "Return up to one creature card that was put into the graveyard this turn to your hand."
I think this card is firmly mono green at this point. Maybe a 1GG casting cost would be better.
The first ability is somewhat awkward, while simultaneously being overpowered. What's to stop me using this plus a simply shock to win the game through infinite turns. I would think about what you were trying to acheive and find a simply low powered version of it (say untap some permanents).
The -1 doesn't work because planeswalker do not activate abilities at instant speed, and as an effect it still doesn't do much while requiring a lot of rules understanding off everyone involved.
The ultimate feels disconnected - why double the life total at the end. Maybe just put three creatures into play and use the second ability for life gain.
This just isn't working. I get the feelinf you want this guy to work around Jubefish but the execution is somewhat off. For the +2 I wouldn't bother with the sac trigger - 0/1 are rarely that important and the other abilites want them to live past this turn. Maybe just reduce the number produced to compensate.
The second ability involves putting +1/+1 counters on your planeswalker. Your better just saying "Distribute X +1/+1 counters among creatures you control. Until your next turn, creatures with counters placed on them this way "Remove a +1/+1 counter: place a +1/+1 counter on another target creature." That said, I type this, remember Doubling Season and realise that doesn't work. Maybe "Place X +1/+1 counters on target creature you control. Until your next turn, that creatures has "Remove a +1/+1 counter: place a +1/+1 counter on another target creature." works better.
If it was me I would simply make the ultimate "You gain an emblem with Creatures you control are 7/7" The creature types don't matter that much in my opinion.
Hope my advice helps and I would love to see what you produce in the future.
Re: Danny - thanks for the clarification on timing for abilities. I think then he could have the straightforward return from the graveyard to hand.
Re: Caroline. Maybe her +1 should be her ultimate. That way the card would work within the rules. Still untap anything tapped this turn, return anything played this turn to owner's hand, then you get a second turn after this one. Nothing about returning drawn card so that would avoid that problem. You couldn't repeat this ability infinitely, and there shouldn't be any way to abuse it like there is for Time Walk. So maybe that at -8, then the flying/life one could be -4, and the stack one could be +1. Thank you for the clarification for how that would be said.
Re: Patrick, I agree with what you're saying. I like using it as an emblem, so it works going forward for him. But I'm not sure how it would work with what I was trying to do, which was to make all three abilities work together. Easy generation of weak creatures, but need the counters to keep them alive after that turn. Then if you manage to keep them alive, they can grow huge. The emblem would prevent you from needing the counters. Hmmm....
Just to clarify Caroline a bit, the purpose of the untapping and returning cards to so that opposing players are not at too much of a disadvantage mana/hand-wise during the second turn.
Danny -> first ability, quite flexible, could be those you Channeled , Cycled, died, or even put there from graveyard to be brought back.
second ability: also quite nice, this gives the idea that he likes creatures. I can imagine myr deck using this cards, where all the myrs are free
third: an ok flashy ultimate as a limited bomb.. i don't see how it will be used much in constructed play since it's too prone to removal albeit the big p/t and trample.. (maybe add hexproof ? to make it more usable? )
Caroline:
1st ability is somewhat broken, this means every spell you play this turn is un-counterable and not just un-counterable, this allows you to go pass through any kind of pseudo counter like Shock vs Giant Growth scenario which it would work in such a way the one on top will win out. this at a +1 is a little bit too much
2nd with her at 4 loyalty starting, caroline translate as 4 mana for 3 creatures with flying from your deck onto the battlefield. i could think of many various wicked flying creatures that could be brought at turn 4.. not just 1, but 3 of them hit the battlefield.
3nd her ultimate is the least broken ability.. i have no problem with this..
Patrick are all about the fish and cat 0/1 token that one day becomes big.. second ability wording wise should be that creature gains "Remove bla bla".. i don't really like the idea of this card, it would be a lot neater without the remove clause, unless you give it an until end of turn clause. otherwise, it will give memory issues, which creature still have the ability and which do not..
the ultimate, although powerful, takes too long to achieve.. u need to wait 5 turn before your Jubefish Cat become 7/7 flyers..
Re: Danny, I have changed the last ability to have hexproof, as you suggested.
Re: Caroline, the intent was that one time per turn, you can move one spell to the top of the stack. The way it is written may not reflect that properly now that I reread it with your comments. The problem is the "any time you could cast an instant". Maybe something like "This turn, when an instant is cast, you may move one spell of your choice to the top of the stack." ?? As for the second ability, would it be better to make it an alternate ultimate, at more like -6 or -8, or to reduce the number of creatures?
Re: Patrick, maybe the second ability is just place X counters? I agree about the timing for the last ability too. Maybe at -8?
Thanks very much to everyone again for the feedback, a very friendly community here. I'll wait for your reply to update the card text. Am working on the art and will post the cards when they are finished