I'm not sure in what context you're asking this question, or what you want out of the answer. As a rule, I can tell you human interaction in general and romantic relationships in particular are good. The human being is a social animal, after all, and unless you're making the conscious choice to cultivate a lifestyle where you're far apart from other people, like a religious ascetic hermit, relationships are worthwhile despite sometimes coming to bad fruits.
Later on it implies that it's not. The one about monasticism towards the end refers to living with just one other person as a "failed experiment" that we repeat often when it doesn't work. Or that marriage is about settling for a familiar sort of unhappiness instead of the complex and new unhappiness from being lonely. There are plenty of videos on that channel that say the same.
I know there is no perfect person for someone and if you try to find Mr.Right you'll be looking forever. But they make it sounds like doom. They even make it seem like communal living (aka monasticism) is best.
The one about monasticism towards the end refers to living with just one other person as a "failed experiment" that we repeat often when it doesn't work. Or that marriage is about settling for a familiar sort of unhappiness instead of the complex and new unhappiness from being lonely. There are plenty of videos on that channel that say the same.
And perhaps this person has a distinctly anti-marriage view. But this doesn't necessarily mean they're correct.
But they make it sounds like doom.
It's not.
They even make it seem like communal living (aka monasticism) is best.
Maybe it is for some people, but you're asking if relationships are universally terrible. The answer is no.
Relationships aren't all bad. Relationships are work, but like most anything worth doing there are risks. Granted that doesn't mean that the standard relationship has to be what you go with, trying a poly relationship myself.
Granted that doesn't mean that you need to be in one either. Like a lot of things in life there are trade-offs, the goal is to wind up better off with the choice you pick. Avoiding any downside at all isn't plausible.
Like pretty much everything in life, relationships are variable. They have the potential to be amazing or the potential to be nightmares and a lot of that depends on the demeanor of you and the other person, and how you go about solving things. If both of you are rational adults not prone to things like gambling, cheating, etc, then there's at least a better chance it'll go okay, but sometimes people find out they just aren't compatible and it's okay.
Overall I would say it's really like life in general. Aside from the abuse cases which I'm obviously not talking about here, relationships are what you make of them. They don't have to be terrible but they're not necessarily prone to being great either. And it can depend a lot on the other person as well.
I wouldn't really say you're better off being single, unless you're the sort of person who prefers that, but I wouldn't say you're missing out on a ton by not being in a relationship either.
Youtube is NOT going to have the best life advice for you.
Relationships are not all doom and gloom. They're actually quite nice, but they also don't always work out for a variety of reasons. It sucks at the end, and people who are perpetually bad at them tend to get embittered and outspoken about it.
The channel seems to have over two million views so they must be saying something right.
Why would you ask if relationships are really that terrible if you've concluded that they are and are going to ignore anything anyone says to the contrary?
If you really want to believe that badly that relationships are horrible, then you are more than free to just deny yourself any romantic relationship with anyone for the rest of your life. It's your life.
But at least acknowledge this is what you're doing. At least acknowledge that you are filtering out any ideas to the contrary. And yes, if you're coming back here with just some statement about how Youtube subscribers equals veracity or credibility, then you are basically cherry-picking for anything that supports what you've already decided to be true.
The channel seems to have over two million views so they must be saying something right.
Why would you ask if relationships are really that terrible if you've concluded that they are and are going to ignore anything anyone says to the contrary?
If you really want to believe that badly that relationships are horrible, then you are more than free to just deny yourself any romantic relationship with anyone for the rest of your life. It's your life.
But at least acknowledge this is what you're doing. At least acknowledge that you are filtering out any ideas to the contrary. And yes, if you're coming back here with just some statement about how Youtube subscribers equals veracity or credibility, then you are basically cherry-picking for anything that supports what you've already decided to be true.
I'm not deliberately ignoring evidence to the contrary, but most people will cite the numbers argument against me and I don't know how to respond. Or they say you are just deliberately tuning out the negatives of life and not being realistic.
I'm not deliberately ignoring evidence to the contrary, but most people will cite the numbers argument against me and I don't know how to respond. Or they say you are just deliberately tuning out the negatives of life and not being realistic.
Ok, so, you're on the real life advice thread. You asked if relationships are all horrible. The answer is no. Every reply to this thread has said no.
Yet you keep arguing against them. So are you here for advice, or something else?
Firstly, I wouldn't suggest youtube videos as the best place for relationship advice as far as that goes or whether relationships in general are really that bad.
The realities of life are that everyone will inevitably end up in some bad relationships and some good ones. Whether that involves friendships, family, boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife, or possibly something else. Some people and relationships may start out being great, but could sour over time due to any number of different reasons, but at the same time its just as likely they can strengthen over time and lead to something even greater for both individuals involved.
However, that said, relationships aren't for everyone. Some people crave companionship, while others are more than happy to be by themselves. It is all a matter of personal preference and what each person feels comfortable with.
Personally I tend to appreciate those relationships I have, but also am often fine being solo in various aspects of life. Which I think can often be true for many people. In general though, as I said, I would disagree that relationships in general are really that terrible, some may be, but many will be fine :).
I'm not deliberately ignoring evidence to the contrary, but most people will cite the numbers argument against me and I don't know how to respond. Or they say you are just deliberately tuning out the negatives of life and not being realistic.
Ok, so, you're on the real life advice thread. You asked if relationships are all horrible. The answer is no. Every reply to this thread has said no.
Yet you keep arguing against them. So are you here for advice, or something else?
My minds works differently. Like I said, I see number of views and look at the channel (which says it's based in philosophy) and think they are right.
They say that being in a relationship is choosing a familiar kind of unhappiness over a new and uncertain one (in other words being single). I know that relationships aren't like they are in the media. There isn't a "one" or a happily ever after. But I also don't think they are as bad as they say, based on other people I know.
But for some reason I just think they know better than me and my evaluations don't mattter because I don't "get it".
I'm not deliberately ignoring evidence to the contrary, but most people will cite the numbers argument against me and I don't know how to respond. Or they say you are just deliberately tuning out the negatives of life and not being realistic.
Ok, so, you're on the real life advice thread. You asked if relationships are all horrible. The answer is no. Every reply to this thread has said no.
Yet you keep arguing against them. So are you here for advice, or something else?
My minds works differently. Like I said, I see number of views and look at the channel (which says it's based in philosophy) and think they are right.
They say that being in a relationship is choosing a familiar kind of unhappiness over a new and uncertain one (in other words being single). I know that relationships aren't like they are in the media. There isn't a "one" or a happily ever after. But I also don't think they are as bad as they say, based on other people I know.
But for some reason I just think they know better than me and my evaluations don't mattter because I don't "get it".
As a commentary to the videos themselves on youtube, honestly you should be looking more at the amount of thumbs up to the video rather than the number of views towards whether people are actually agreeing with what the videos are talking about.
In the first link provided, it has 222,000 views, but only 6,100 upvotes.
In the second link provided, it has 383,000 views, with 10,000 upvotes.
And in the third link provided, it has 301,000 views and 14,000 upvotes.
Total of approximately 900,000 views but only 25,000 upvotes.
When I see something like that, from an objective viewpoint of overall support for the videos and what they represent, 900,000 views isn't anything to sneeze at, though in the grand scheme of youtube, an average of 300,000 views per video while decent, isn't really anything all that spectacular, I imagine quite a few of those views are simply out of curiosity, rather than showing any kind of real support. The upvotes however are, presumably showing actual support, but those are only a tiny fraction of the amount of views, as mentioned above. Less than 3% of the views actually gave it an upvote, not exactly a rousing show of support.
My minds works differently. Like I said, I see number of views and look at the channel (which says it's based in philosophy) and think they are right.
So basically, as long as it's on Youtube and it's been watched a bunch of times, you'll believe anything they say?
It's also public opinion on the comments that factors in. I know I try not to go by likes either since a dedicated following is going to like most of what the channel posts.
But most of the people in the comments find their stuff insightful and deep even though to me it just sounds like dogma. More like him preaching (not to mention they sell a product). But then I get flak for saying that I don't know what I'm talking about and that he's just offering a certain viewpoint. Even when I ask for evidence or links to support what's being said I just get flak about asking for evidence. So I'm left not knowing what to think or say and what to trust.
Like their recent video is how we choose or partners based on the style of care we received as kids. That we avoid people not because they are wrong but too right for us and that we don't deserve them. It's Freudian psychology (which gives me reason to doubt that's even true), and that's a good deal of what they believe.
But when I see many people in agreement or giving positive views it makes me wonder if I'm wrong and insane here. Of course no one will comment on a dissenting view, it is YouTube after all.
It's also public opinion on the comments that factors in.
So because a Youtube comment says something, you'll believe whatever it says?
But most of the people in the comments find their stuff insightful and deep even though to me it just sounds like dogma. More like him preaching (not to mention they sell a product). But then I get flak for saying that I don't know what I'm talking about and that he's just offering a certain viewpoint. Even when I ask for evidence or links to support what's being said I just get flak about asking for evidence.
Yet, here we are telling you repeatedly that relationships aren't all bad, and you keep coming back saying how you disagree with this, even though you started out this thread with a question about whether or not relationships are all that bad.
By asking that question, you're indicating that you don't actually know whether or not they are. Yet you keep coming back with arguments against anyone telling you in this thread that they're not, even though you apparently don't actually know. So you're disagreeing without actually knowing whether or not they are.
Do you see how that makes no sense?
So I'm left not knowing what to think or say and what to trust.
You seem to have a definite problem with credulity here, and I think it can be best remedied by taking some time off of this Youtube channel, or maybe the internet in general, and focusing that time on living your life.
I know I have a problem with credulity. It's a critical weakness that has led me to believe many things that are nonsense and feel powerless in the face of those so certain that what is being said is true. But I'm also very curious. I like to know things and to read into stuff. The two seem to be a recipie for disaster.
Let me give you numbers you'll appreciate.
I've gotten a console form each gen since the original Nintendo. I've stopped the clock at 99:99:00 in Final Fantasy VII, clocked over 231 hours in Final Fantasy Ten, been ranked 871 out of 1.2 million in an online ongoing game (that the top 10% of the top 1%) and used to play magic with my friend or strangers at least twice a month. That was ten years ago.
Now I don't have a current gen console, I haven't even PLAYED a console game this year and my last gaming event was the Shadows Over Innistrad prerelease. I'm in a relationship and haven't been happier. If you would have told me I would enjoy lounging around not gaming at all to chill in proximity of some person I would have called you a liar.
That's just how it is now for me. Don't get me wrong, I have over twenty decks and have built all four of my commander decks while with this person, as well as teaching this person how to play Magic. Just because I don't do all the things I did before doesn't make me unhappy. My priorities changed is all.
If the therapist isn't working you can try other therapists.
And I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to learn more in a vacuum, it's just that you seem to be trying to use other people to try and come to hard conclusions about what you should do in life, and the material you're using to try and come to that conclusion is at best extremely biased. You need to practice critical analysis of the material you're using to inform your decisions at least.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oltjYiXvMnY&t=10s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sc-6ChAKBV4
Just a short question, are relationships really that terrible? I mean the way this channel puts them makes it sound like severe doom and gloom.
But the answer is no, relationships are not all severe doom and gloom.
I̟̥͍̠ͅn̩͉̣͍̬͚ͅ ̬̬͖t̯̹̞̺͖͓̯̤h̘͍̬e͙̯͈̖̼̮ ̭̬f̺̲̲̪i͙͉̟̩̰r̪̝͚͈̝̥͍̝̲s̼̻͇̘̳͔ͅt̲̺̳̗̜̪̙ ̳̺̥̻͚̗ͅm̜̜̟̰͈͓͎͇o̝̖̮̝͇m̯̻̞̼̫̗͓̤e̩̯̬̮̩n͎̱̪̲̹͖t͇̖s̰̮ͅ,̤̲͙̻̭̻̯̹̰ ̖t̫̙̺̯͖͚̯ͅh͙̯̦̳̗̰̟e͖̪͉̼̯ ̪͕g̞̣͔a̗̦t̬̬͓͙̫̖̭̻e̩̻̯ ̜̖̦̖̤̭͙̬t̞̹̥̪͎͉ͅo͕͚͍͇̲͇͓̺ ̭̬͙͈̣̻t͈͍͙͓̫̖͙̩h̪̬̖̙e̗͈ ̗̬̟̞̺̤͉̯ͅa̦̯͚̙̜̮f͉͙̲̣̞̼t̪̤̞̣͚e̲͉̳̥r͇̪̙͚͓l̥̞̞͎̹̯̹ͅi͓̬f̮̥̬̞͈ͅe͎ ̟̩̤̳̠̯̩̯o̮̘̲p̟͚̣̞͉͓e͍̩̣n͔̼͕͚̜e̬̱d̼̘͎̖̹͍̮̠,͖̺̭̱̮ ̣̲͖̬̪̭̥a̪͚n̟̲̝̤̤̞̗d̘̱̗͇̮͕̳͕͔ ͖̞͉͎t̹̙͎h̰̱͉̗e̪̞̱̝̹̩ͅ ̠̱̩̭̦p̯̙e͓o̳͚̰̯̺̱̰͔̘p̬͎̱̣̼̩͇l̗̟̖͚̠e̱͉͔̱̦̬̟̙ ̖͚̪͔̼̦w̺̖̤̱e͖̗̻̦͓̖̘̜r̭̥e͔̹̫̱͕̦̰͕ ̗͔̠p̠̗͍͍̱̳̠r̰͔͎̰o͉̥͓̰͚̥s̟͚̹̱͔̣t͉̙̳̖͖̪̮r̥̘̥͙̹a͉̟̫̟̳̠̟̭t͈̜̰͈͎e̞̣̭̲̬ ͚̗̯̟͙i͍͖̰̘̦͖͉ṇ̮̻̯̦̲̩͍ ̦̮͚̫̤t͉͖̫͕ͅͅh͙̮̻̘̣̮̼e͕̺ ͙l͕̠͎̰̥i̲͓͉̲g̫̳̟͈͇̖h̠̦̖t͓̯͎̗ ̳̪̘̟̙̩̦o̫̲f̙͔̰̙̠ ̹̪̗͇̯t͖̼̼͉͖̬h̹͇̩e͚̖̺̤͉̹͕̪ ͚͓̭̝̺G͎̗̯̩o̫̯̮̟̮̳̘d̜̲͙̠-̩̳̯̲̗̜P̹̘̥͉̝h͍͈̗̖̝ͅa͍̗̮̼̗r̜̖͇̙̺a̭̺͔̞̳͈o̪̣͓̯̬͙̯̰̗h̖̦͈̥̯͔.͇̣̙̝
https://youtu.be/qb0LIvuyaOU
I know there is no perfect person for someone and if you try to find Mr.Right you'll be looking forever. But they make it sounds like doom. They even make it seem like communal living (aka monasticism) is best.
And perhaps this person has a distinctly anti-marriage view. But this doesn't necessarily mean they're correct.
It's not.
Maybe it is for some people, but you're asking if relationships are universally terrible. The answer is no.
Granted that doesn't mean that you need to be in one either. Like a lot of things in life there are trade-offs, the goal is to wind up better off with the choice you pick. Avoiding any downside at all isn't plausible.
Overall I would say it's really like life in general. Aside from the abuse cases which I'm obviously not talking about here, relationships are what you make of them. They don't have to be terrible but they're not necessarily prone to being great either. And it can depend a lot on the other person as well.
I wouldn't really say you're better off being single, unless you're the sort of person who prefers that, but I wouldn't say you're missing out on a ton by not being in a relationship either.
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Relationships are not all doom and gloom. They're actually quite nice, but they also don't always work out for a variety of reasons. It sucks at the end, and people who are perpetually bad at them tend to get embittered and outspoken about it.
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If you really want to believe that badly that relationships are horrible, then you are more than free to just deny yourself any romantic relationship with anyone for the rest of your life. It's your life.
But at least acknowledge this is what you're doing. At least acknowledge that you are filtering out any ideas to the contrary. And yes, if you're coming back here with just some statement about how Youtube subscribers equals veracity or credibility, then you are basically cherry-picking for anything that supports what you've already decided to be true.
I'm not deliberately ignoring evidence to the contrary, but most people will cite the numbers argument against me and I don't know how to respond. Or they say you are just deliberately tuning out the negatives of life and not being realistic.
Ok, so, you're on the real life advice thread. You asked if relationships are all horrible. The answer is no. Every reply to this thread has said no.
Yet you keep arguing against them. So are you here for advice, or something else?
The realities of life are that everyone will inevitably end up in some bad relationships and some good ones. Whether that involves friendships, family, boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife, or possibly something else. Some people and relationships may start out being great, but could sour over time due to any number of different reasons, but at the same time its just as likely they can strengthen over time and lead to something even greater for both individuals involved.
However, that said, relationships aren't for everyone. Some people crave companionship, while others are more than happy to be by themselves. It is all a matter of personal preference and what each person feels comfortable with.
Personally I tend to appreciate those relationships I have, but also am often fine being solo in various aspects of life. Which I think can often be true for many people. In general though, as I said, I would disagree that relationships in general are really that terrible, some may be, but many will be fine :).
My minds works differently. Like I said, I see number of views and look at the channel (which says it's based in philosophy) and think they are right.
They say that being in a relationship is choosing a familiar kind of unhappiness over a new and uncertain one (in other words being single). I know that relationships aren't like they are in the media. There isn't a "one" or a happily ever after. But I also don't think they are as bad as they say, based on other people I know.
But for some reason I just think they know better than me and my evaluations don't mattter because I don't "get it".
As a commentary to the videos themselves on youtube, honestly you should be looking more at the amount of thumbs up to the video rather than the number of views towards whether people are actually agreeing with what the videos are talking about.
In the first link provided, it has 222,000 views, but only 6,100 upvotes.
In the second link provided, it has 383,000 views, with 10,000 upvotes.
And in the third link provided, it has 301,000 views and 14,000 upvotes.
Total of approximately 900,000 views but only 25,000 upvotes.
When I see something like that, from an objective viewpoint of overall support for the videos and what they represent, 900,000 views isn't anything to sneeze at, though in the grand scheme of youtube, an average of 300,000 views per video while decent, isn't really anything all that spectacular, I imagine quite a few of those views are simply out of curiosity, rather than showing any kind of real support. The upvotes however are, presumably showing actual support, but those are only a tiny fraction of the amount of views, as mentioned above. Less than 3% of the views actually gave it an upvote, not exactly a rousing show of support.
It's also public opinion on the comments that factors in. I know I try not to go by likes either since a dedicated following is going to like most of what the channel posts.
But most of the people in the comments find their stuff insightful and deep even though to me it just sounds like dogma. More like him preaching (not to mention they sell a product). But then I get flak for saying that I don't know what I'm talking about and that he's just offering a certain viewpoint. Even when I ask for evidence or links to support what's being said I just get flak about asking for evidence. So I'm left not knowing what to think or say and what to trust.
Like their recent video is how we choose or partners based on the style of care we received as kids. That we avoid people not because they are wrong but too right for us and that we don't deserve them. It's Freudian psychology (which gives me reason to doubt that's even true), and that's a good deal of what they believe.
But when I see many people in agreement or giving positive views it makes me wonder if I'm wrong and insane here. Of course no one will comment on a dissenting view, it is YouTube after all.
Yet, here we are telling you repeatedly that relationships aren't all bad, and you keep coming back saying how you disagree with this, even though you started out this thread with a question about whether or not relationships are all that bad.
By asking that question, you're indicating that you don't actually know whether or not they are. Yet you keep coming back with arguments against anyone telling you in this thread that they're not, even though you apparently don't actually know. So you're disagreeing without actually knowing whether or not they are.
Do you see how that makes no sense?
You seem to have a definite problem with credulity here, and I think it can be best remedied by taking some time off of this Youtube channel, or maybe the internet in general, and focusing that time on living your life.
You might also consider professional counseling if this is characteristically a problem for you.
I've gotten a console form each gen since the original Nintendo. I've stopped the clock at 99:99:00 in Final Fantasy VII, clocked over 231 hours in Final Fantasy Ten, been ranked 871 out of 1.2 million in an online ongoing game (that the top 10% of the top 1%) and used to play magic with my friend or strangers at least twice a month. That was ten years ago.
Now I don't have a current gen console, I haven't even PLAYED a console game this year and my last gaming event was the Shadows Over Innistrad prerelease. I'm in a relationship and haven't been happier. If you would have told me I would enjoy lounging around not gaming at all to chill in proximity of some person I would have called you a liar.
That's just how it is now for me. Don't get me wrong, I have over twenty decks and have built all four of my commander decks while with this person, as well as teaching this person how to play Magic. Just because I don't do all the things I did before doesn't make me unhappy. My priorities changed is all.
That's awfully vague but then again probably best.
I mean I've tried therapy but the guy hasn't been very useful when it comes to my gullibility.
And I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to learn more in a vacuum, it's just that you seem to be trying to use other people to try and come to hard conclusions about what you should do in life, and the material you're using to try and come to that conclusion is at best extremely biased. You need to practice critical analysis of the material you're using to inform your decisions at least.