So I meet a girl online, ok cupid. But she was in another country, I was apprehensive but somehow I got used to interacting with someone via whattsapp. She gradually weaved herself more and more into my life until... it happened and I couldn't resist using the kiss emoji and cuddling and hugging her...you know in text form... It was still horribly embarrassing though is this a real thing.
We played games together eventually using voice chat in game and out of game (my computer has no webcam). I really thought of her as my girlfriend really , I managed to feel comfortable telling people. I talked to her everyday almost every hour, I work at a computer I just have whattsapp web in the corner of my browser. I do know what she looks like, cutie, multiple photos, I trust her.
it wasn't perfect, no relationship is perfect, earlier on she had trouble with my atheism, or rather my just saying religion is silly and I had trouble with her not being able to understand evolution, turns out she hadn't even been taught it. But we got over these things mostly and continued to talk long and at length about what is wrong in the world and if it was fixable. I learned not to put words in her mouth, "you think that..." to learn and grow how to relationship. But recently we started to have trouble, we had trouble with time, she was complaining that I would always just take time with her and replace it with something whenever someone else wanted something, in particular when people want to have magic tournaments and drafts at unpredictable times. she felt like I was taking time away from us time. Even though I spend all day talking to her and most nights playing video games with her. She felt like that she was being taken for granted that she would be there, that she would understand. It was complicated that it takes her 3 hours to get home from work everyday and has to be up early, where 9 is too late and 5 is too early to leave work. that truely free time is so limited.
Sounds bad, but.. that can be worked on, fixed, learnt to combine lives, even though it seems.. unreal when it's still on a screen and in text form the whole time, but it feels real.
We had a fight yesterday and she finally told me... her big problem why everything is really so difficult...
she has a child from a former marriage... she is 26 (I am 27).
*head explodes*
Huge red flag with OK Cupid. Have you skype'd (use someone else's computer if you can't)? Can she take pictures (regular pics) with something particular and send them too you as proof? Have you sent any form of valuables to her? These dating sites are notorious for scams, I'm not trying to be a jerk, but the two things I mentioned are common ways to attempt to make sure there isn't any funny business going on. I've had more than a few friends get terribly burned with online, long distance relationships. Even ones lasting a year or more.
As for actual help, you need to weigh your hobbies vs time with her. If you can't talk to her outside of designated times, you should try to schedule things around that if she's that important. Let her know ahead of time about days you might not be able to make it. If she is this important, you'll need to take a step back from magic, and other hobbies, if it's impairing your ability to "be" with her. At least during the times she wants to talk with you. I had to do this when I meet my Fiancee, going from playing a few hours every days to a few hours a week. To me it's worth it, as I value her more than magic, but that's easier for me to say, as we lived, at most, an hour apart (and now together).
As far as the kid goes, you need to ask yourself, "Am I ok with being a father figure". It may not be right now, but when your in a serious relationship with someone with kids, it's something you need to think about. It's not an easy decision, and not one that people can help you with. It's personal, and completely up to you. You have to be honest with yourself, and brutally so. Be careful with this one, not only can you hurt yourself in the long run (sending money or support away to someone you've never met...) but you can also hurt a child. Tread softly
Stay away from long distance relationships. Women need a lot of time, and attention. She was likely sleeping with somebody else while talking to you anyway. She will never be content with a long distance relationship. This is if she was even really a woman.
We played games together eventually using voice chat in game and out of game (my computer has no webcam). I really thought of her as my girlfriend really , I managed to feel comfortable telling people. I talked to her everyday almost every hour, I work at a computer I just have whattsapp web in the corner of my browser. I do know what she looks like, cutie, multiple photos, I trust her.
it wasn't perfect, no relationship is perfect, earlier on she had trouble with my atheism, or rather my just saying religion is silly and I had trouble with her not being able to understand evolution, turns out she hadn't even been taught it. But we got over these things mostly and continued to talk long and at length about what is wrong in the world and if it was fixable. I learned not to put words in her mouth, "you think that..." to learn and grow how to relationship. But recently we started to have trouble, we had trouble with time, she was complaining that I would always just take time with her and replace it with something whenever someone else wanted something, in particular when people want to have magic tournaments and drafts at unpredictable times. she felt like I was taking time away from us time. Even though I spend all day talking to her and most nights playing video games with her. She felt like that she was being taken for granted that she would be there, that she would understand. It was complicated that it takes her 3 hours to get home from work everyday and has to be up early, where 9 is too late and 5 is too early to leave work. that truely free time is so limited.
Sounds bad, but.. that can be worked on, fixed, learnt to combine lives, even though it seems.. unreal when it's still on a screen and in text form the whole time, but it feels real.
We had a fight yesterday and she finally told me... her big problem why everything is really so difficult...
she has a child from a former marriage... she is 26 (I am 27).
*head explodes*
I... don't know how to handle this. please help.
Pioneer:UR Pheonix
Modern:U Mono U Tron
EDH
GB Glissa, the traitor: Army of Cans
UW Dragonlord Ojutai: Dragonlord NOjutai
UWGDerevi, Empyrial Tactician "you cannot fight the storm"
R Zirilan of the claw. The solution to every problem is dragons
UB Etrata, the Silencer Cloning assassination
Peasant cube: Cards I own
Also, what other country is she from?
Is this your first relationship?
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Huge red flag with OK Cupid. Have you skype'd (use someone else's computer if you can't)? Can she take pictures (regular pics) with something particular and send them too you as proof? Have you sent any form of valuables to her? These dating sites are notorious for scams, I'm not trying to be a jerk, but the two things I mentioned are common ways to attempt to make sure there isn't any funny business going on. I've had more than a few friends get terribly burned with online, long distance relationships. Even ones lasting a year or more.
As for actual help, you need to weigh your hobbies vs time with her. If you can't talk to her outside of designated times, you should try to schedule things around that if she's that important. Let her know ahead of time about days you might not be able to make it. If she is this important, you'll need to take a step back from magic, and other hobbies, if it's impairing your ability to "be" with her. At least during the times she wants to talk with you. I had to do this when I meet my Fiancee, going from playing a few hours every days to a few hours a week. To me it's worth it, as I value her more than magic, but that's easier for me to say, as we lived, at most, an hour apart (and now together).
As far as the kid goes, you need to ask yourself, "Am I ok with being a father figure". It may not be right now, but when your in a serious relationship with someone with kids, it's something you need to think about. It's not an easy decision, and not one that people can help you with. It's personal, and completely up to you. You have to be honest with yourself, and brutally so. Be careful with this one, not only can you hurt yourself in the long run (sending money or support away to someone you've never met...) but you can also hurt a child. Tread softly
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