So basically, I have terrible neighbors. My girlfriend and I live in an apartment complex, I am currently working 500 miles from home and only make it back every couple weekends. She works 50-60 hours a week, and is rarely home in the daytime hours.
In the past few months, we had neighbors move in underneath us. Since then we have had the cops called on us 3 times for noise complaints, the noise complaints being that I came home for the weekend and had 2 friends over and we were playing video games. We recieved a complant that our dog was barking to loud. We do not own a dog. We have a tortoise. He does not bark.
The night over the superbowl, things did get a bit... restless, we had several friends over and one of them brought home made beer that we were keeping cool on the balcony. He saves the bottles so he can bottle more home made beer, and dumped the "leftovers" over the balcony, which I was not aware of.
The downstairs neighbor was banging on our door at 9AM about this, because the excess beer showed up in the snow on his balcony.
Today, she recieved a letter on her door specifically naming her, and telling her (from the landlord) that if she does not stop smoking weed in the apartment, the authorities will be contacted. I do not smoke weed, she does on occasion but NEVER at home. We are very conscientious about our tortoise and maintain a stable habitat for him, one that does not involve smoke in our apartment.
On the other hand... the neighbors across the hall from us constantly have our entire floor smelling like garbage from who knows what, and the apartment kitty corner to us are two potheads who are constantly smoking and having our apartment constantly smelling like weed (which I have spoken to them about, and they said "Well, we have medical marijuana cards so.." we're in Michigan..)
TL:DR, What can we really do? We've been here for 2 1/2 years and our downstairs neighbor keeps calling the landlord and cops about every minor thing that we do, plus every major thing that every else in the apartment does and blames them on us?
We get a little loud maybe once every month when I'm home, but that's part of living in an apartment isn't it? Aside from that, I'm never home and neither is she, I don't get it.
If they continue to call the cops about minor annoyances, especially if they're false, they'll eventually be the ones getting in trouble. Smother them with kindness and talk to your landlord. If you're not in the wrong then nothing can happen to you so you don't need to really worry about it.
Upon thinking about it, I am going home this weekend.
I was considering going downstairs, and knocking on their door and introducing myself, telling them my work schedule and hers, and then ask them to please quit pestering us.
I feel like if you make so much noise that they can hear it downstairs, you need to be more courteous. You live in an apartment building, not a frat house.
Really this is the downside of sharing walls. If you don't want to have to deal with this at all, whether you are right or wrong, rent or buy a single family home. It is that simple. I have never lived in an apartment for these - and other - reasons.
TL:DR, What can we really do? We've been here for 2 1/2 years and our downstairs neighbor keeps calling the landlord and cops about every minor thing that we do, plus every major thing that every else in the apartment does and blames them on us?
We get a little loud maybe once every month when I'm home, but that's part of living in an apartment isn't it? Aside from that, I'm never home and neither is she, I don't get it.
Is it possible you're being racially discriminated against or something else?
With questions like that out of the way, two options:
1) Buy the landlord off
2) Move
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That's an option, but we're in a very good location right now. All of our friends live within walking distance right now which is a huge perk.
Also, neither of us really have time to move. Our next big move we were planning was when we bought a house however that's at least another year off.
Is it really right to move because new people moved in that suck?
"Is it right" doesn't really matter. These people moved in, and are bothering you, your options are deal with it, or move out. You are not going to effect a change in their behavior, the chances of you getting them kicked out is slim to none.
No don't move, tell them to shut up (you can be nicer about it).
And you think they'll straighten up and become stand up neighbors after that? All escalation between neighbors does is make things worse.
You can't control other people. You are only master of your own domain. The only way you have to fix the problem is to change what is in your control, which is moving (either to a new unit in the same complex or somewhere else altogether) or just accept you are going to have to deal with thier crap
It's one of the downsides of living in an apartment. The uside of living in an apartment is the mobilty you have to move. Avail yourself of that upside
Talk to your landlord about this. Since you don't actually smoke weed (and thus won't have any evidence in the house... yes?), since you don't own a dog and rarely even have both of you home at the same time, you need to make it clear that you are being blamed by your downstairs neighbor for everything in the building. Start filing some complaints of your own for harassment from these neighbors and for the other neighbors. The problem with being chill about your awful other neighbors is that when someone blames you for it, you don't have anything that says you are aware of the problems but they aren't you.
I'd also get your facts straight about where and when your girlfriend smokes. You have stated you are only home on some weekends, and good decision making doesn't necessarily go hand in hand with drug use. It's easy to see her lighting up in the apartment while you are away.
If it comes down to it, I'd inform your neighbors downstairs to get their facts straight. Some nerds playing video games and walking around your apartment is not a problem. If they didn't want the noise of an upstairs neighbor they shouldn't have taken a ground floor apartment. Even my fiancee's upstairs neighbors seem noisy as hell... but it's just a little old lady and her husband walking around. Younger adults would make a hell of a lot more noise. It just sounds like your neighbors don't like the building and have just taken to blaming everything on you, since all sounds from above them sound like they are coming from your apartment.
So, metaphorically speaking, they should bend over and take it? Is this "bad-advice-hour with Valarin"?
Either talk to them (in a calm, unbiased way) or if that doesn't help, talk to your landlord about the false accusations they make. That's how I would take on this issue.
Also, what truesight said. If you didn't do anything wrong, you don't have to worry about it. And if they keep calling the cops for nothing, they will be the ones who eventually get in trouble.
What can they do about it?
I've had bad neighbors in the past, I empathize with the OP, I know if can be horribly distracting and have a definite impact on quality of life. But you need to look at the situation in a mature manner. You can only control things in your sphere of influence. You cannot change other peoples behavior. They can call the cops on the OP every day if they want, they can file noise complaints, they can complain to the landlord, then can do all sorts of things to make the OP's life miserable. The OP cannot stop them from doing that.
The only thing people can change is themselves. The OP has the power to move to a different unit or different complex and solve the problem.
Talking to the landlord won't do anything, he can't control how people behave, as long as the neighbors are paying rent he's happy.
Remember the zen saying: When faced with a tough road ahead, it is far easier to put on sandals than try and cover the entire road in soft leather". It it far easier for the OP to change his circumstance than try and change someone elses circumstance. His choices are move, or accept the situation and not let it bother him. That's the adult way to look at the problem.
Another aspect of apartment life is anonymity. It's easy to complain to a third party about the strangers upstairs. It's far less likely someone will complain about Jack and Jill, the nice people upstairs who we know from upstairs. Talking to them is certainly a good first step, talking to the landlord I think is also a good idea. Moving may be an option, but I don't think it's the only option nor the first one I'd take.
I would advise writing a letter to your landlord, and clearly explain the situation and that you are being harassed by neighbors (elucidate the false complaints ...marijuana use, dog barking, etc.). Make them aware of the problem and don't get involved with your downstairs neighbors.
We had a similar situation a few years back with neighbors that were racially motivated and were squatting in the apartment next door. We did move, but an annoyance could turn into an altercation really easily if you address it directly with your neighbors.
EDIT: And absolutely DO NOT tell them your schedules.
My girlfriend called the landlord today and informed her of the situation (she obviously knew about the note posting) and the landlord asked about the marijuana smell, which my girlfriend informed her were the neighbors kitty corner to us.
I was still thinking about going downstairs, introducing myself, telling the downstairs neighbor are situation and the hours that we work and how we are never really home and being like "WTF?"
Jay13x, I am positive she has never smoked in the apartment. We have several good friends that all smoke that live in the same complex that she walks over to (1 building or 1 parking lot away)
Talk to the landlord and explain your situation and the absolute false accusations your downstairs neighbors are making. Do this ASAP; it's about the only way you can avoid further trouble down the road. Also, document as much false accusations that they lay on you as you can. It will help down the road as well.
As for the neighbors themselves- You can either talk to them, or not. I'd veer towards not, as your version of the story makes it sound like they're rather touchy about things.
However, they did lay some legitimate complaints. Noise, especially from upstairs, can often be considerably louder to the folks living downstairs than it may seem to you. I've had to deal with this fairly often, and it's rather difficult to understand if you've never lived below young families, related.
The beer dumping incident is absolutely your fault and you should at the very least apologize for it.
The rest may be them becoming incredibly sensitive due to the above. I do not know.
In any case, if you're a good talker then go talk to them and try to lower the tension. If you are not a good speaker/likely to not deal with their (most likely) anger and annoyance at you; best to just avoid talking to them.
The same reason you don't post a note saying "Having a blast in Hawaii for the next two weeks, suckers!" on Facebook. Not everyone is honest or trustworthy, and arming them with information is not always wise.
You can't control other people. You are only master of your own domain. The only way you have to fix the problem is to change what is in your control, which is moving (either to a new unit in the same complex or somewhere else altogether) or just accept you are going to have to deal with thier crap
It's one of the downsides of living in an apartment. The uside of living in an apartment is the mobilty you have to move. Avail yourself of that upside
First step is to give them a chance to recognize they are misunderstanding the situation.
Next step is consulting the landlord and letting him/her know of the unfair accusations.
Then don't give a **** what they complain about, in no way should you have to move to convenience them. (though this is completely assuming you are indeed not being loud)
I had to put up with the opposite problem (noisy as hell neighbors in a dorm.) and I gave them the option to shut up. They were pretty compliant and I didn't have to get the RA or anyone else involved.
The first step doesn't have to be confrontational but you DO have to talk to these people. Give them ONE chance to be a rational human being.
I don't understand how living within walking distance of your friends is a perk when you're home one weekend out of the month, especially when your downstairs neighbors talk trash about you. They obviously just want to start ****. If neither of you have free time to spend at home/with friends because you're always working, it sort of stops mattering where everyone else is.
It shouldn't be hard to find a place relatively close to your current one between newspaper listings and Craigslist. You shouldn't have to put up with bull**** neighbors. Speaking of which, I share my bedroom wall with an alcoholic prostitute that lives in the next unit over. I'll have school the next morning, and she has the balls to complain about my alarm clock that goes off 2 hours after she's done "working" (read: whoring). *****, please. On occasion, she'll get ****faced and yell at her dog at 2 AM. She's also complained to management that my drumming is disturbing, but get this: I don't own a drum set!
People suck man, I feel for you. I'd get the hell out of Dodge if I were you. It's what I'm trying to do.
So basically, I have terrible neighbors. My girlfriend and I live in an apartment complex, I am currently working 500 miles from home and only make it back every couple weekends. She works 50-60 hours a week, and is rarely home in the daytime hours.
In the past few months, we had neighbors move in underneath us. Since then we have had the cops called on us 3 times for noise complaints, the noise complaints being that I came home for the weekend and had 2 friends over and we were playing video games. We recieved a complant that our dog was barking to loud. We do not own a dog. We have a tortoise. He does not bark.
The night over the superbowl, things did get a bit... restless, we had several friends over and one of them brought home made beer that we were keeping cool on the balcony. He saves the bottles so he can bottle more home made beer, and dumped the "leftovers" over the balcony, which I was not aware of.
The downstairs neighbor was banging on our door at 9AM about this, because the excess beer showed up in the snow on his balcony.
Today, she recieved a letter on her door specifically naming her, and telling her (from the landlord) that if she does not stop smoking weed in the apartment, the authorities will be contacted. I do not smoke weed, she does on occasion but NEVER at home. We are very conscientious about our tortoise and maintain a stable habitat for him, one that does not involve smoke in our apartment.
On the other hand... the neighbors across the hall from us constantly have our entire floor smelling like garbage from who knows what, and the apartment kitty corner to us are two potheads who are constantly smoking and having our apartment constantly smelling like weed (which I have spoken to them about, and they said "Well, we have medical marijuana cards so.." we're in Michigan..)
TL:DR, What can we really do? We've been here for 2 1/2 years and our downstairs neighbor keeps calling the landlord and cops about every minor thing that we do, plus every major thing that every else in the apartment does and blames them on us?
We get a little loud maybe once every month when I'm home, but that's part of living in an apartment isn't it? Aside from that, I'm never home and neither is she, I don't get it.
I had several bad experiences with apartment complexes before.
My solution was to first talk with the person downstairs. It is far better to live upstairs then downstairs, so you may not be aware of the noise you are making.
I lived above a grandmother, mother, and daughter (also a dog).
I offered to walk their dog since i love animals and didn't have one at the time.
That solved a lot of problems. And we eventually became very good friends.
However, this does not always work. Over the summer, I lived in an apartment in Richmond, VA. And the apartment below me was extremely loud all the time, especially weekday nights. I talked with them, but they didn't listen.
Since I woke up very early for work, I would run the dishwasher (even if there were no dishes)... lol... i did this a few times.
And eventually we sat down and talked. Things got much better.
First step is to give them a chance to recognize they are misunderstanding the situation.
Next step is consulting the landlord and letting him/her know of the unfair accusations.
Then don't give a **** what they complain about, in no way should you have to move to convenience them. (though this is completely assuming you are indeed not being loud)
I had to put up with the opposite problem (noisy as hell neighbors in a dorm.) and I gave them the option to shut up. They were pretty compliant and I didn't have to get the RA or anyone else involved.
The first step doesn't have to be confrontational but you DO have to talk to these people. Give them ONE chance to be a rational human being.
I agree that if the OP is up to it talking to the people is a good step 1.
I'm not sure why people are saying "talk to the landlord". He doesn't care, it's not his problem. He'll tell you to call the cops. Landlords care about rent. That's all. Maybe if he has another unit he would let the OP switch units. But he certainly isn't going to evict the people doing the complaining.
As far as ignoring them, if the OP can handle that, I don't think he would have posted in the first place.
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In the past few months, we had neighbors move in underneath us. Since then we have had the cops called on us 3 times for noise complaints, the noise complaints being that I came home for the weekend and had 2 friends over and we were playing video games. We recieved a complant that our dog was barking to loud. We do not own a dog. We have a tortoise. He does not bark.
The night over the superbowl, things did get a bit... restless, we had several friends over and one of them brought home made beer that we were keeping cool on the balcony. He saves the bottles so he can bottle more home made beer, and dumped the "leftovers" over the balcony, which I was not aware of.
The downstairs neighbor was banging on our door at 9AM about this, because the excess beer showed up in the snow on his balcony.
Today, she recieved a letter on her door specifically naming her, and telling her (from the landlord) that if she does not stop smoking weed in the apartment, the authorities will be contacted. I do not smoke weed, she does on occasion but NEVER at home. We are very conscientious about our tortoise and maintain a stable habitat for him, one that does not involve smoke in our apartment.
On the other hand... the neighbors across the hall from us constantly have our entire floor smelling like garbage from who knows what, and the apartment kitty corner to us are two potheads who are constantly smoking and having our apartment constantly smelling like weed (which I have spoken to them about, and they said "Well, we have medical marijuana cards so.." we're in Michigan..)
TL:DR, What can we really do? We've been here for 2 1/2 years and our downstairs neighbor keeps calling the landlord and cops about every minor thing that we do, plus every major thing that every else in the apartment does and blames them on us?
We get a little loud maybe once every month when I'm home, but that's part of living in an apartment isn't it? Aside from that, I'm never home and neither is she, I don't get it.
Also. move out. find a better location. 2 1/2 years? I'd be so sick of an apartment for that long.
good luck mate.
Also, neither of us really have time to move. Our next big move we were planning was when we bought a house however that's at least another year off.
Is it really right to move because new people moved in that suck?
So move to a different apartment in the same complex if that's an available option.
I was considering going downstairs, and knocking on their door and introducing myself, telling them my work schedule and hers, and then ask them to please quit pestering us.
http://forums.mtgsalvation.com/showthread.php?p=10498534#post10498534
Is it possible you're being racially discriminated against or something else?
With questions like that out of the way, two options:
1) Buy the landlord off
2) Move
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Anyway, advice so I don't get an infraction: talk directly to your landlord. Fo real.
"Is it right" doesn't really matter. These people moved in, and are bothering you, your options are deal with it, or move out. You are not going to effect a change in their behavior, the chances of you getting them kicked out is slim to none.
And you think they'll straighten up and become stand up neighbors after that? All escalation between neighbors does is make things worse.
You can't control other people. You are only master of your own domain. The only way you have to fix the problem is to change what is in your control, which is moving (either to a new unit in the same complex or somewhere else altogether) or just accept you are going to have to deal with thier crap
It's one of the downsides of living in an apartment. The uside of living in an apartment is the mobilty you have to move. Avail yourself of that upside
I'd also get your facts straight about where and when your girlfriend smokes. You have stated you are only home on some weekends, and good decision making doesn't necessarily go hand in hand with drug use. It's easy to see her lighting up in the apartment while you are away.
If it comes down to it, I'd inform your neighbors downstairs to get their facts straight. Some nerds playing video games and walking around your apartment is not a problem. If they didn't want the noise of an upstairs neighbor they shouldn't have taken a ground floor apartment. Even my fiancee's upstairs neighbors seem noisy as hell... but it's just a little old lady and her husband walking around. Younger adults would make a hell of a lot more noise. It just sounds like your neighbors don't like the building and have just taken to blaming everything on you, since all sounds from above them sound like they are coming from your apartment.
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What can they do about it?
I've had bad neighbors in the past, I empathize with the OP, I know if can be horribly distracting and have a definite impact on quality of life. But you need to look at the situation in a mature manner. You can only control things in your sphere of influence. You cannot change other peoples behavior. They can call the cops on the OP every day if they want, they can file noise complaints, they can complain to the landlord, then can do all sorts of things to make the OP's life miserable. The OP cannot stop them from doing that.
The only thing people can change is themselves. The OP has the power to move to a different unit or different complex and solve the problem.
Talking to the landlord won't do anything, he can't control how people behave, as long as the neighbors are paying rent he's happy.
Remember the zen saying: When faced with a tough road ahead, it is far easier to put on sandals than try and cover the entire road in soft leather". It it far easier for the OP to change his circumstance than try and change someone elses circumstance. His choices are move, or accept the situation and not let it bother him. That's the adult way to look at the problem.
We had a similar situation a few years back with neighbors that were racially motivated and were squatting in the apartment next door. We did move, but an annoyance could turn into an altercation really easily if you address it directly with your neighbors.
EDIT: And absolutely DO NOT tell them your schedules.
My girlfriend called the landlord today and informed her of the situation (she obviously knew about the note posting) and the landlord asked about the marijuana smell, which my girlfriend informed her were the neighbors kitty corner to us.
I was still thinking about going downstairs, introducing myself, telling the downstairs neighbor are situation and the hours that we work and how we are never really home and being like "WTF?"
Jay13x, I am positive she has never smoked in the apartment. We have several good friends that all smoke that live in the same complex that she walks over to (1 building or 1 parking lot away)
Talk to the landlord and explain your situation and the absolute false accusations your downstairs neighbors are making. Do this ASAP; it's about the only way you can avoid further trouble down the road. Also, document as much false accusations that they lay on you as you can. It will help down the road as well.
As for the neighbors themselves- You can either talk to them, or not. I'd veer towards not, as your version of the story makes it sound like they're rather touchy about things.
However, they did lay some legitimate complaints. Noise, especially from upstairs, can often be considerably louder to the folks living downstairs than it may seem to you. I've had to deal with this fairly often, and it's rather difficult to understand if you've never lived below young families, related.
The beer dumping incident is absolutely your fault and you should at the very least apologize for it.
The rest may be them becoming incredibly sensitive due to the above. I do not know.
In any case, if you're a good talker then go talk to them and try to lower the tension. If you are not a good speaker/likely to not deal with their (most likely) anger and annoyance at you; best to just avoid talking to them.
The same reason you don't post a note saying "Having a blast in Hawaii for the next two weeks, suckers!" on Facebook. Not everyone is honest or trustworthy, and arming them with information is not always wise.
First step is to give them a chance to recognize they are misunderstanding the situation.
Next step is consulting the landlord and letting him/her know of the unfair accusations.
Then don't give a **** what they complain about, in no way should you have to move to convenience them. (though this is completely assuming you are indeed not being loud)
I had to put up with the opposite problem (noisy as hell neighbors in a dorm.) and I gave them the option to shut up. They were pretty compliant and I didn't have to get the RA or anyone else involved.
The first step doesn't have to be confrontational but you DO have to talk to these people. Give them ONE chance to be a rational human being.
It shouldn't be hard to find a place relatively close to your current one between newspaper listings and Craigslist. You shouldn't have to put up with bull**** neighbors. Speaking of which, I share my bedroom wall with an alcoholic prostitute that lives in the next unit over. I'll have school the next morning, and she has the balls to complain about my alarm clock that goes off 2 hours after she's done "working" (read: whoring). *****, please. On occasion, she'll get ****faced and yell at her dog at 2 AM. She's also complained to management that my drumming is disturbing, but get this: I don't own a drum set!
People suck man, I feel for you. I'd get the hell out of Dodge if I were you. It's what I'm trying to do.
I had several bad experiences with apartment complexes before.
My solution was to first talk with the person downstairs. It is far better to live upstairs then downstairs, so you may not be aware of the noise you are making.
I lived above a grandmother, mother, and daughter (also a dog).
I offered to walk their dog since i love animals and didn't have one at the time.
That solved a lot of problems. And we eventually became very good friends.
However, this does not always work. Over the summer, I lived in an apartment in Richmond, VA. And the apartment below me was extremely loud all the time, especially weekday nights. I talked with them, but they didn't listen.
Since I woke up very early for work, I would run the dishwasher (even if there were no dishes)... lol... i did this a few times.
And eventually we sat down and talked. Things got much better.
Hope it works out for you.
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I agree that if the OP is up to it talking to the people is a good step 1.
I'm not sure why people are saying "talk to the landlord". He doesn't care, it's not his problem. He'll tell you to call the cops. Landlords care about rent. That's all. Maybe if he has another unit he would let the OP switch units. But he certainly isn't going to evict the people doing the complaining.
As far as ignoring them, if the OP can handle that, I don't think he would have posted in the first place.