A while ago I told him how I felt but he denied it, saying that he just saw us as friends.
HOWEVER, we've been getting closer and closer and shortly after that he said "You're my best friend."
"Why's that?" (Not that I was complaining, mind you)
"Because I talk to you the most."
(I should mention at this point that we don't actually know each other)
However, every time he goes on a trip or something catches his eye, he'll email me a photo of it.
He also did end up, yesterday, watching TV with a friend. He said "I'll brb, gonna go watch TV....actually, I'll switch to my iPad." And he brought it with him.
What do you think, guys?
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"We'll scale these cliffs, traverse Brittle Bridge, and then fight our way down the volcanic slopes on the other side."
"Isn't the shortest route through the canyon?"
"Yes."
"So shouldn't we--"
"No."
(I should mention at this point that we don't actually know each other)
Is this to mean that you only know each other online? If so, what kind of distance between you are we talking here?
Regardless of that, I have some follow up questions:
How old are the two of you?
How often do you talk?
What types of things do you talk about?
From what you've posted here, it just sounds like this guy thinks you're his best friend.
However, if he is your best friend and does like you as more than friend, I have to warn you that getting involved with a friend can be very detrimental. I, personally, have married my best friend of 10 years and we've been together (as a couple) going on 4 years now, but it has not been with hardship. However, you will have hardship in any relationship, regardless of how close you are before you become a couple.
Since you are not sure of his feelings, the best thing to do is wait. Wait for him to make the first move. Because, I guarantee you, you don't want to reveal how you feel and scare him, thus ending the friendship that you do have.
1. He'll be 24 next week and I'll be 22 in August. So I guess, what, 2 year difference or somethin'?
2. Damn near every night for AT LEAST 5 hours.
3. He helps me with my novel, we discuss books and movies that we're into and introduce each other to them.
edit: He does know how I feel about him.
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"We'll scale these cliffs, traverse Brittle Bridge, and then fight our way down the volcanic slopes on the other side."
"Isn't the shortest route through the canyon?"
"Yes."
"So shouldn't we--"
"No."
Hm. Normally I'd say you wait a few months and check again, simply asking him on a date, but since you aren't local to each other that makes things a bit more difficult. Hmm... yeah, I'd agree that waiting for him to approach you is a good and safe approach. You could also bring it up again after a good long while of things progressing in this fashion - again, months are good - just tell him what you're seeing (that you two are growing closer over time), how it's making you feel (heard, cared about, happy), and that you see this as a good basis for a romantic relationship. Then you let him speak, prompting if need be, about his side of things, and listen to what he's saying. This one is a bit risky, but if you've gotten to the point in your friendship of being able to, for example, say something that comes out totally wrong but correct it with no hard feelings, I'd say it should be fine. Just keep it lighter, make sure you're not coming off as attached or obsessed, that it's a simple question that won't hurt you if he says no.
But I'd caution about getting overinvested since he's already expressed a lack of interest. It might change, but it also might not.
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My anecdotal evidence disagrees with yours! EXPLAIN THAT!
And I'm not so much worried about it because I REALLY, REALLY like him.
I just wanted to see if you guys thought maybe he liked me back. LOL.
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"We'll scale these cliffs, traverse Brittle Bridge, and then fight our way down the volcanic slopes on the other side."
"Isn't the shortest route through the canyon?"
"Yes."
"So shouldn't we--"
"No."
Guys test out girls with crap like "We're such good friends..." If you respond with, "Yes it's so nice having a guy around that doesn't want to sleep with me and a guy that I can talk to and do things like the girls..." then he gets rejected in a very nice way.
The problem is when you do want a piece of that and he thinks he got rejected. Just ask him out on a date. How far away do you live?
He also has a habit of joking around with me like he's going to kidnap me and keep me in his basement.
I live in southern Indiana and he lives in Los Angeles, so I ahve no idea how far that is.
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"We'll scale these cliffs, traverse Brittle Bridge, and then fight our way down the volcanic slopes on the other side."
"Isn't the shortest route through the canyon?"
"Yes."
"So shouldn't we--"
"No."
He also has a habit of joking around with me like he's going to kidnap me and keep me in his basement.
I live in southern Indiana and he lives in Los Angeles, so I ahve no idea how far that is.
He likes you.
Period. This is the kind of stuff guys say as a joke. You know, to test the waters and see if you respond positively. He's not ACTUALLY (I hope) debating whether or not to kidnap you but he's thinking about spending real time with you it seems.
One more anecdote, mostly to kind of mentally seal the deal.
Him: brb, dinner.
Me: Whatcha makin'?
Him: Stir-fry.
Me: Sounds good.
Him: If you come out here, I'll make you some.
Me: Once you feed me, I'll never leave. I'm like a cat.
Since then we've been kind of LARPing (in a chat, dunno if it still counts)...and he'll occasionally 'feed me'.
So I guess I'm golden.
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"We'll scale these cliffs, traverse Brittle Bridge, and then fight our way down the volcanic slopes on the other side."
"Isn't the shortest route through the canyon?"
"Yes."
"So shouldn't we--"
"No."
Manders: A lot of guys are wary of moving in if they aren't 100% totally sure about the response they'll get.
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I feel he does like you. Just test the waters and try talking to him about the subject. I think you will like the results you get. Often times, guys test girls because they are afraid of rejection....maybe that is what he is trying to do. Sometimes when a guy finally finds that special girl for him, he can finally say "I have found my best friend." Hope this helps, and I pray the best for both of you.
You never leave if you're fed? Remind me never to do that, I don't think my parents would be too pleased. You'd probably keep me up past my nine o' clock bedtime.
But yeah, he's got the hots for you. Kidnapping you and keeping you in his basement? Come on, that's just how nerds show affection. In fact if he asks you if something smells like chloroform make sure you take a nice big whiff and tell him it does.
But in all seriousness, if you guys are in opposite states/countries and have no plans to stay near each other much, trust me when I say it won't work out.
I thought that too, but until some kind of commitment or even definition has been made.... he can date them all as far as I am concerned. That's why you have to talk to him (not you Madding, that would be weird).
I feel he does like you. Just test the waters and try talking to him about the subject. I think you will like the results you get. Often times, guys test girls because they are afraid of rejection....maybe that is what he is trying to do. Sometimes when a guy finally finds that special girl for him, he can finally say "I have found my best friend." Hope this helps, and I pray the best for both of you.
- The Seeker
See, neither of these make sense, though. She's already said that he knows she likes him, so there should be no fear of rejection.
that just screams lion king to me for some weird reason... o.o
But to be on topic, the guy must like you if he's making jokes and such, i know i'm alittle weird myself and i'd make those types of jokes, in a strictly humorous way. i even joke with my friends that imma stab them. of course, i usually only stab them with my deodorant or something entertaining. even if it hurts alittle.
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Ravarshi Kashaku, Ancient Dragon of the Darkened Realms;
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He's extremely shy and terrible around girls. But he does love him some girl parts, lemme tell you that right now. Hahaha.
So is that code for 'I want you, I've already found my girl and it's you'?
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"We'll scale these cliffs, traverse Brittle Bridge, and then fight our way down the volcanic slopes on the other side."
"Isn't the shortest route through the canyon?"
"Yes."
"So shouldn't we--"
"No."
Here's something to think about: Have you at least seen pictures of each other? If not there's a mystery to it that can create a fantasy sometimes. I'm assuming you have though. You can always figure up some mileage and find a halfway point. Tell him you are going to be there and see it he would be willing to meet you halfway to meet in person. If he's reasonably interested he should do that.
Here's something to think about: Have you at least seen pictures of each other? If not there's a mystery to it that can create a fantasy sometimes. I'm assuming you have though. You can always figure up some mileage and find a halfway point. Tell him you are going to be there and see it he would be willing to meet you halfway to meet in person. If he's reasonably interested he should do that.
Yes, we have seen pictures of each other.
I'm going to try to talk to him soon and see if we can't work something out, maybe if he's looking for jobs nearby or something.
'Course I may wait for him to make the next move, but he has expressed at least some interest in meeting me.
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"We'll scale these cliffs, traverse Brittle Bridge, and then fight our way down the volcanic slopes on the other side."
"Isn't the shortest route through the canyon?"
"Yes."
"So shouldn't we--"
"No."
It's blatantly obvious he "likes you" however the odds he likes you in the not "I'm completely desperate for affection and flirt with girls online because that's the only way I get any attention" is virtually zero, if a guy says "you're my best friend" to a girl it translates to "I like you but if I don't directly say it you can't reject me".
Also a thought to leave you with, why do you like him? Make sure you like him in more than just the way I stated earlier, online relationships almost always end poorly (I don't count dating sites), you build up a good deal of "expectations" and then when you meet you're dissapointed, the very same thing happened to a good friend of mine, her best friend in an online game came to meet her (from tenesee to britain) and when they met he was 5'2'' 180 pound ugly fat kid.
td;lr you guys don't like eachother in the way you think, you're just desperate, sorry to be mean, but I'm just saying what any sensible person is thinking. Go meet a guy in real life.
Things went well for the first year or so of our marriage but one day she just snapped and turned into an overly jealous possessive abusive ***** who once tried to push me down a flight of stairs among many other psychotic things.
That said, I moved out where I am now from southern Indiana and am returning in the near future.
Counterpoint: I met my wife on the internet too and we've been together for 7 years and have 2 kids and things are fine. I'm not saying things are perfect, but stranger things have happened.
p.s.- Did you know that if you marry someone you meet on eHarmony they will send you a shirt and hat? Bonus! $50 scores me a wife AND a shirt with matching hat!!!!
HOWEVER, we've been getting closer and closer and shortly after that he said "You're my best friend."
"Why's that?" (Not that I was complaining, mind you)
"Because I talk to you the most."
(I should mention at this point that we don't actually know each other)
However, every time he goes on a trip or something catches his eye, he'll email me a photo of it.
He also did end up, yesterday, watching TV with a friend. He said "I'll brb, gonna go watch TV....actually, I'll switch to my iPad." And he brought it with him.
What do you think, guys?
"Isn't the shortest route through the canyon?"
"Yes."
"So shouldn't we--"
"No."
Is this to mean that you only know each other online? If so, what kind of distance between you are we talking here?
Regardless of that, I have some follow up questions:
From what you've posted here, it just sounds like this guy thinks you're his best friend.
However, if he is your best friend and does like you as more than friend, I have to warn you that getting involved with a friend can be very detrimental. I, personally, have married my best friend of 10 years and we've been together (as a couple) going on 4 years now, but it has not been with hardship. However, you will have hardship in any relationship, regardless of how close you are before you become a couple.
Since you are not sure of his feelings, the best thing to do is wait. Wait for him to make the first move. Because, I guarantee you, you don't want to reveal how you feel and scare him, thus ending the friendship that you do have.
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2. Damn near every night for AT LEAST 5 hours.
3. He helps me with my novel, we discuss books and movies that we're into and introduce each other to them.
edit: He does know how I feel about him.
"Isn't the shortest route through the canyon?"
"Yes."
"So shouldn't we--"
"No."
But I'd caution about getting overinvested since he's already expressed a lack of interest. It might change, but it also might not.
And if this is someone you don't know in real life, then why are you worrying over it?
And I'm not so much worried about it because I REALLY, REALLY like him.
I just wanted to see if you guys thought maybe he liked me back. LOL.
"Isn't the shortest route through the canyon?"
"Yes."
"So shouldn't we--"
"No."
Guys test out girls with crap like "We're such good friends..." If you respond with, "Yes it's so nice having a guy around that doesn't want to sleep with me and a guy that I can talk to and do things like the girls..." then he gets rejected in a very nice way.
The problem is when you do want a piece of that and he thinks he got rejected. Just ask him out on a date. How far away do you live?
WUBRGPauper Battle BoxWUBRG ... and why I am not a fan of Wayne Reynolds' Illustrations.
I live in southern Indiana and he lives in Los Angeles, so I ahve no idea how far that is.
"Isn't the shortest route through the canyon?"
"Yes."
"So shouldn't we--"
"No."
He likes you.
Period. This is the kind of stuff guys say as a joke. You know, to test the waters and see if you respond positively. He's not ACTUALLY (I hope) debating whether or not to kidnap you but he's thinking about spending real time with you it seems.
One more anecdote, mostly to kind of mentally seal the deal.
Him: brb, dinner.
Me: Whatcha makin'?
Him: Stir-fry.
Me: Sounds good.
Him: If you come out here, I'll make you some.
Me: Once you feed me, I'll never leave. I'm like a cat.
Since then we've been kind of LARPing (in a chat, dunno if it still counts)...and he'll occasionally 'feed me'.
So I guess I'm golden.
"Isn't the shortest route through the canyon?"
"Yes."
"So shouldn't we--"
"No."
But, the above posters are guys and I'm a girl, so maybe I'm wrong.
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But yeah, he's got the hots for you. Kidnapping you and keeping you in his basement? Come on, that's just how nerds show affection. In fact if he asks you if something smells like chloroform make sure you take a nice big whiff and tell him it does.
But in all seriousness, if you guys are in opposite states/countries and have no plans to stay near each other much, trust me when I say it won't work out.
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I thought that too, but until some kind of commitment or even definition has been made.... he can date them all as far as I am concerned. That's why you have to talk to him (not you Madding, that would be weird).
WUBRGPauper Battle BoxWUBRG ... and why I am not a fan of Wayne Reynolds' Illustrations.
See, neither of these make sense, though. She's already said that he knows she likes him, so there should be no fear of rejection.
If there is, he's extremely insecure.
No, that would be funny. lol
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I'll raise the boy.
that just screams lion king to me for some weird reason... o.o
But to be on topic, the guy must like you if he's making jokes and such, i know i'm alittle weird myself and i'd make those types of jokes, in a strictly humorous way. i even joke with my friends that imma stab them. of course, i usually only stab them with my deodorant or something entertaining. even if it hurts alittle.
The Merciless Lord of Torture, Permanently Bound To: ">[THE PACK] 11/5/63 - 11/25/09 Goodbye mom, i'll always love you...
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So is that code for 'I want you, I've already found my girl and it's you'?
"Isn't the shortest route through the canyon?"
"Yes."
"So shouldn't we--"
"No."
http://forums.mtgsalvation.com/showthread.php?t=489747
Yes, we have seen pictures of each other.
I'm going to try to talk to him soon and see if we can't work something out, maybe if he's looking for jobs nearby or something.
'Course I may wait for him to make the next move, but he has expressed at least some interest in meeting me.
"Isn't the shortest route through the canyon?"
"Yes."
"So shouldn't we--"
"No."
Also a thought to leave you with, why do you like him? Make sure you like him in more than just the way I stated earlier, online relationships almost always end poorly (I don't count dating sites), you build up a good deal of "expectations" and then when you meet you're dissapointed, the very same thing happened to a good friend of mine, her best friend in an online game came to meet her (from tenesee to britain) and when they met he was 5'2'' 180 pound ugly fat kid.
td;lr you guys don't like eachother in the way you think, you're just desperate, sorry to be mean, but I'm just saying what any sensible person is thinking. Go meet a guy in real life.
I met my future ex wife on the internet.
Things went well for the first year or so of our marriage but one day she just snapped and turned into an overly jealous possessive abusive ***** who once tried to push me down a flight of stairs among many other psychotic things.
That said, I moved out where I am now from southern Indiana and am returning in the near future.
Coffee?
▲
▲ ▲
Counterpoint: I met my wife on the internet too and we've been together for 7 years and have 2 kids and things are fine. I'm not saying things are perfect, but stranger things have happened.
p.s.- Did you know that if you marry someone you meet on eHarmony they will send you a shirt and hat? Bonus! $50 scores me a wife AND a shirt with matching hat!!!!
WUBRGPauper Battle BoxWUBRG ... and why I am not a fan of Wayne Reynolds' Illustrations.