So theres this girl I know. We met at the same school and kept in touch via Facebook. So last week i asked her to hang out and she said yes and seemed really into it. Then the day of she texted me and said she had some last minute family plans, which were legit cause I saw on Facebook.
Anyways, I like her and i want to tell her that, but I think we should hang out first, but I don't want to keep pressuring her to hang out nor do i want to keep texting her. So what should I do? What is the proper procedure for telling her i like her?
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Get'r Dungrove (Friday July 6th - Friday September 21st)
TYPE 2: Best Builds
:symw::symg:Township Tokens 19-8-0 (ret. 2/24/12) Mono Green Eldrazi 22-8-1 (ret. 10/1/10)
I would not come out and say it. Just take things slow. Seriously, you risk looking desperate which "is a deal breaker" as Tina Fey would say. If she was into it, then you know she has at least a moderate interest in you. In a week or two, ask here to hang out again. Just don't come on to strong.
I believe that I have enough social competence to slip into a party or two, potentially wooing some attractive females that would not mind spending the evening performing the booty dance on me.
To be honest with you, and this may seem off the deep end, but pretend you're Nichol Bolas. You have to think in time scales far longer than you're used to. Simply hang out with her long enough to become her best friend. You will know the time to strike is right when she would rather hang out with you than anyone else. Find out the different things she likes (music, movies, weekend activities, etc. and from her, if you stalk her it looks creepy.) and do them. Think about this, if someone wanted to be my girlfriend, they should get me drunk and take me to a concert of a band I like. I'm sure you can think of a similar "perfect" date situation for you. All you have to do is put yourself in her shoes and think about what she wants from you. Simple as that. All of this requires the patience and fore thought of an eons old dragon. Even then, you must be prepared for the worst: ending up stuck in friendship limbo, or worse outright rejection. If its not going anywhere after two months, or she ends up openly interested in someone else: MOVE ON! Trust me, nothing is worse than seeing the person you like enter a relationship with someone else. This has happened to me more times than I like to think about, both with the girl interested in absolute douche bags and one of my absolute best friends. As a result of this, you must have skin and scales that can withstand the flames of envy. Above all, don't get too invested. Be a little aloof, like it doesn't really matter if you hang out or not, even if it matters more than anything else in the world at that moment. Women hate desperation, and can smell it from a mile a way. If she isn't into you, that doesn't mean your doing anything wrong, it just means she isn't attracted to you. There is nothing you can do to change that. Ever. Old Bolas is a mysterious, dark entity, and you should be too. Let her find out about you, don't just offer up your life story. Make her work for it. Besides, that is a clear sign of interest. Anyway, I digress, you will be fine and we as a community of geeks and nerds are here for you. If you have any questions feel free to post them on the thread or pm me if you want. Good luck and may the force be with you!
Svogthir
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On the plus side, early "friend zoning" keeps you from dealing with "***** mode" after paying for a date, this way if you do see "***** mode" its at no loss to you as a man and can keep her in the friend zone.
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Ambition must be made to counteract ambition.
Individualities may form communities, but it is institutions alone that can create a nation.
Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success.
Here is my principle: Taxes shall be levied according to ability to pay. That is the only American principle.
I would say just wait a little bit. I would keep talking to her, but wait for HER to make the suggestion that you reschedule your get together. NEVER, get emotionally attached, especially while your in this phase (once you've gone out for a few months, its prolly ok to let yourself go a little) Its a bit like a game of magic. You need to always be thinking ahead to the next few turns. I would say, with more magic analogy here, dont be like red and throw yourself head on into this. Be more U/B, and keep in control of the situation. Just stay cool and dont get too excited, and you'll be just fine.
thanks for the replies. I should have mentioned this before: I am 23 and she is 18. I used to teach at the school where I met her, but I got laid off and she graduated. I guess this kinda changes things. lol.
However, I was on vacation for a few days and told her I'd text her when I got home and she actually made the effort to text me when I was away asking how I was doing, so I guess thats a plus.
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Get'r Dungrove (Friday July 6th - Friday September 21st)
TYPE 2: Best Builds
:symw::symg:Township Tokens 19-8-0 (ret. 2/24/12) Mono Green Eldrazi 22-8-1 (ret. 10/1/10)
To be honest with you, and this may seem off the deep end, but pretend you're Nichol Bolas.
[Other words]
Good luck and may the force be with you!
Svogthir
^This worries me. A lot. At least those parts.
Also, just go for it and do whatever you want. It will work or it won't, that's just how it goes. Nobody has any real advice on this stuff, because no situation is the same, and girls are individuals and unique. Just don't do anything you'll regret, and do everything you'd regret not doing. Within reason.
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"I don't know why people say a double-edged sword is bad. It's a sword. With two edges."
-Kamahl, pit fighter
Yeah, a five year age gap makes a world of difference. Just think back on how much you've matured since you were 18. To be completely honest, you should probably try to find someone who's main interest in a date is "can you buy me booze?" I'm not insinuating that is necessarily whats on her mind, but from personal experience I can say thats on probably 50 to 65 percent of all 18 to 20 year old's minds at any given time. I would honestly recommend looking for someone a little closer to you in age, preferably someone who has, I don't know, gone to college or seen the real world? Sorry for sounding so cynical the second go round, but by this point in your life you should probably have more than one prospective. Go out to a bar, meet some people. You never know what might happen...
Edit: @Kamal: As someone who had quite a bit of trouble figuring out how to even talk to a girl at one point in my life, I know that as a magic playing nerd it would have seriously helped me to put some of these concepts in a form that makes sense, as some of these things, believe it or not, seemed strange and even counter-productive at first. You may have had no problems getting girls (and as someone posting on a magic forum, I look at that with more than a little skepticism), but other people need a little help beyond do what you think you wont regret. What better model than a super-sentient dragon who knows how to bide his time, play aloof, yet be witty and engaging when called for. Also, who doesn't want to emulate a dragon.
Whether you like it or not, may the force be with you,
Svogthir
For the record Svog, I'm just messing, it's actually a pretty good analogy. Just amusing. Had I actually disagreed, I would have responded, you know, factually. No snips and out-of-context quote snatching.
Also, this "You may have had no problems getting girls (and as someone posting on a magic forum, I look at that with more than a little skepticism)" is brilliant. But enough off-topickings.
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"I don't know why people say a double-edged sword is bad. It's a sword. With two edges."
-Kamahl, pit fighter
For the record Svog, I'm just messing, it's actually a pretty good analogy. Just amusing. Had I actually disagreed, I would have responded, you know, factually. No snips and out-of-context quote snatching.
Now I feel like a bit of a jerk for over reacting. No harm no foul. Oh, and one more tip for anyone listening: If you give off an air of confidence, people will believe you. If people believe you, you might even start to believe it ;)...
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Thanks to Zaph and spiderboy4 at High~Light Studios for the kick ass sig and amazing avvy.
Yeah, a five year age gap makes a world of difference. Just think back on how much you've matured since you were 18. To be completely honest, you should probably try to find someone who's main interest in a date is "can you buy me booze?" I'm not insinuating that is necessarily whats on her mind, but from personal experience I can say thats on probably 50 to 65 percent of all 18 to 20 year old's minds at any given time. I would honestly recommend looking for someone a little closer to you in age, preferably someone who has, I don't know, gone to college or seen the real world? Sorry for sounding so cynical the second go round, but by this point in your life you should probably have more than one prospective. Go out to a bar, meet some people. You never know what might happen...
Edit: @Kamal: As someone who had quite a bit of trouble figuring out how to even talk to a girl at one point in my life, I know that as a magic playing nerd it would have seriously helped me to put some of these concepts in a form that makes sense, as some of these things, believe it or not, seemed strange and even counter-productive at first. You may have had no problems getting girls (and as someone posting on a magic forum, I look at that with more than a little skepticism), but other people need a little help beyond do what you think you wont regret. What better model than a super-sentient dragon who knows how to bide his time, play aloof, yet be witty and engaging when called for. Also, who doesn't want to emulate a dragon.
Whether you like it or not, may the force be with you,
Svogthir
sry but i just had to sig what u said
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Thanks to Theismisacrime for this beautiful signature over at damnation studios
Now I feel like a bit of a jerk for over reacting. No harm no foul. Oh, and one more tip for anyone listening: If you give off an air of confidence, people will believe you. If people believe you, you might even start to believe it ;)...
It's the web, it happens, I should have been more clear. No bigs. Even if I am slowly cleaning my keyboard with salty tears and buffing my screen with my forehead now.
@OP: The confidence bit quoted above is actually important. Take a moment to think before you speak so you don't have too many stutters and misspeakings.
Don't talk too much about yourself, try and keep the conversation more on her if you can without being awkward about it. People like talking about themselves, usually, if only a little.
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"I don't know why people say a double-edged sword is bad. It's a sword. With two edges."
-Kamahl, pit fighter
It's the web, it happens, I should have been more clear. No bigs. Even if I am slowly cleaning my keyboard with salty tears and buffing my screen with my forehead now.
@OP: The confidence bit quoted above is actually important. Take a moment to think before you speak so you don't have too many stutters and misspeakings.
Don't talk too much about yourself, try and keep the conversation more on her if you can without being awkward about it. People like talking about themselves, usually, if only a little.
The less you tell her about you, the more you seem mysterious, which just adds to your clout. Plus (if she's interested) it'll drive her wild trying figure you out, rather than the other way around. Just as in magic, you want to keep a full hand, but keep it where your opponent cant see it.
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Thanks to Zaph and spiderboy4 at High~Light Studios for the kick ass sig and amazing avvy.
I should have mentioned this before: I am 23 and she is 18. I used to teach at the school where I met her, but I got laid off and she graduated.
You are the man! You totally have the advantage because she probably thinks scoring with the sexy teacher would make her look even better. I'd hit that if I were you. I'd hit that as quick as I could. If I were you, I'd get her alone, and then drop your pants and ask her if shes ready for her oral exam.
There's nothing sweeter than hot, barely legal, almost jailbait ass.
I believe that I have enough social competence to slip into a party or two, potentially wooing some attractive females that would not mind spending the evening performing the booty dance on me.
You are the man! You totally have the advantage because she probably thinks scoring with the sexy teacher would make her look even better. I'd hit that if I were you. I'd hit that as quick as I could. If I were you, I'd get her alone, and then drop your pants and ask her if shes ready for her oral exam.
There's nothing sweeter than hot, barely legal, almost jailbait ass.
I know they frown upon short posts here, but I think this sums up all I could semantically express to the writer of this post:
Edit: that said, his name is pervy...
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Thanks to Zaph and spiderboy4 at High~Light Studios for the kick ass sig and amazing avvy.
I believe that I have enough social competence to slip into a party or two, potentially wooing some attractive females that would not mind spending the evening performing the booty dance on me.
Haha, but in all seriousness, he should seriously hit it.
If only it were that easy.
But right now, I have to wait a day or so to text her, since I talked to her yesterday and texted her wondering how her day was and she didn't text me back. So I don't know if that was creepy or what.
I like the poster who said that every situation is different, which is absolutely true. I have to admit that my skills in this area are terrible and it really bothers me that I have to ask advice on how to talk to girls.
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Get'r Dungrove (Friday July 6th - Friday September 21st)
TYPE 2: Best Builds
:symw::symg:Township Tokens 19-8-0 (ret. 2/24/12) Mono Green Eldrazi 22-8-1 (ret. 10/1/10)
"If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but a ***** ain't one!" --Jay Z
No but seriously, that's ☺☺☺☺ing awesome!! You used to teach her?!?! Uhh just don't pester her with plans, she'll think your creepy. Girls are like that.
But right now, I have to wait a day or so to text her, since I talked to her yesterday and texted her wondering how her day was and she didn't text me back. So I don't know if that was creepy or what. No, you weren't. Don't worry.
I like the poster who said that every situation is different, which is absolutely true. I have to admit that my skills in this area are terrible and it really bothers me that I have to ask advice on how to talk to girls.
Naw man, it's cool. Girls are complicated.....very complicated. BTW you weren't creepy for texting her what you said. Also, do either of you smoke or drink? A party is always a good way to show girls your fun side (which they then adore).
OR
You can hang out with her, one of her friends. You, one of your friends. Show her what you usually act like (assuming that's a good thing).
"If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but a ***** ain't one!" --Jay Z
No but seriously, that's ☺☺☺☺ing awesome!! You used to teach her?!?! Uhh just don't pester her with plans, she'll think your creepy. Girls are like that.
No I didn't teach her. I just knew her because I had to help her edit a video once (I did film related stuff at the school as well), so that's how I knew her. We were friendly after that. She'd always smile at me when I saw her. She even came up to me be herself and wished me a Happy Birthday when it was mine. lol. So shes cool, but I'm probably in a long line of guys that want to get with her.
never ask a magic player for help with a women situation!!! seriously most the players have never been with a women sorry to those who have. Just let her know how you feel either way you are going to stand a chance or she will play it off and let you know she just wants to be friends either way your just gonna end up where your at know unless you take a risk and let her know you are interested.
never ask a magic player for help with a women situation!!! seriously most the players have never been with a women sorry to those who have. Just let her know how you feel either way you are going to stand a chance or she will play it off and let you know she just wants to be friends either way your just gonna end up where your at know unless you take a risk and let her know you are interested.
Do anyone else agree?
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Get'r Dungrove (Friday July 6th - Friday September 21st)
TYPE 2: Best Builds
:symw::symg:Township Tokens 19-8-0 (ret. 2/24/12) Mono Green Eldrazi 22-8-1 (ret. 10/1/10)
So what should I do? What is the proper procedure for telling her i like her?
There isn't a proper procedure, at best there's just common things guys do. They may not be the right thing to do (certainly not for every situation).
Ordinarily, I'd say to just go for it (pursue her consistently but reasonably and without pestering) because you have nothing to lose. But I dunno, this situation is icky to me. Just a couple months ago (presumably) you had a position of respect and authority over her and she was a student. Even if you weren't specifically her teacher, I think this is a breach of ethics and I don't think it's kosher.
You are the man! You totally have the advantage because she probably thinks scoring with the sexy teacher would make her look even better. I'd hit that if I were you. I'd hit that as quick as I could. If I were you, I'd get her alone, and then drop your pants and ask her if shes ready for her oral exam.
There's nothing sweeter than hot, barely legal, almost jailbait ass.
never ask a magic player for help with a women situation!!! seriously most the players have never been with a women sorry to those who have.
Sad generalization is sad. Not all Magic players are pasty dweebs who dress bad and piss themselves when trying to talk to girls. I don't even think that's the average. A lot of them are completely average guys with jobs, social lives and - yes - even relationships.
Don't tell her. Shower her. Be yourself and I am sure it will come naturally. If she was excited to hang out and it was cut off by family matters, then I am sure she will be just as excited if not more excited to hang out on future plans.
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UB - Tezzerator 2.0 - UB
8-3-0
(Decklist and blog updated 4/11/2011)
"Fun fact about me: I home brew my buddies meta deck. He went from having a much lower ranking then me to a significantly higher rating since I started doing this."
never ask a magic player for help with a women situation!!! seriously most the players have never been with a women.
Actually, lots of magic players are just normal people. They may be nerdy(I sure am), but they aren't any more repulsive to women than a guy who doesn't play magic is. I've fooled around with over 20 women, I've had sex with 6 of them, and 9 of them have been girlfriends. I'm only 19 going on 20. Look at my profile picture and tell me if you think I look like a nerd. Just because someone plays magic does not automatically make them a dweeb in the woman department.
If she was excited to hang out and it was cut off by family matters, then I am sure she will be just as excited if not more excited to hang out on future plans.
What do Steve Urkel and friends have anything to do with this situation? =p
I believe that I have enough social competence to slip into a party or two, potentially wooing some attractive females that would not mind spending the evening performing the booty dance on me.
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Anyways, I like her and i want to tell her that, but I think we should hang out first, but I don't want to keep pressuring her to hang out nor do i want to keep texting her. So what should I do? What is the proper procedure for telling her i like her?
Get'r Dungrove (Friday July 6th - Friday September 21st)
TYPE 2: Best Builds
:symw::symg:Township Tokens 19-8-0 (ret. 2/24/12)
Mono Green Eldrazi 22-8-1 (ret. 10/1/10)
2012 Standard Platinum TCQ - Lowell, MA: Top 20
2012 MaxPoint TCG Open 5k - Providence: Top 35
RUG Riku, Two is Better Than One
UB [PRIMER] Wrexial, Classic Control
RG Radha, Ramp's Theme Goes With Everything
Svogthir
Ambition must be made to counteract ambition.
Individualities may form communities, but it is institutions alone that can create a nation.
Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success.
Here is my principle: Taxes shall be levied according to ability to pay. That is the only American principle.
WUBRGCommander Decklists - PaperWUBRG
CCCCCommander Decklists - TheorycraftCCCC
Sig Credit: Pegasus Bishop
However, I was on vacation for a few days and told her I'd text her when I got home and she actually made the effort to text me when I was away asking how I was doing, so I guess thats a plus.
Get'r Dungrove (Friday July 6th - Friday September 21st)
TYPE 2: Best Builds
:symw::symg:Township Tokens 19-8-0 (ret. 2/24/12)
Mono Green Eldrazi 22-8-1 (ret. 10/1/10)
2012 Standard Platinum TCQ - Lowell, MA: Top 20
2012 MaxPoint TCG Open 5k - Providence: Top 35
^This worries me. A lot. At least those parts.
Also, just go for it and do whatever you want. It will work or it won't, that's just how it goes. Nobody has any real advice on this stuff, because no situation is the same, and girls are individuals and unique. Just don't do anything you'll regret, and do everything you'd regret not doing. Within reason.
Edit: @Kamal: As someone who had quite a bit of trouble figuring out how to even talk to a girl at one point in my life, I know that as a magic playing nerd it would have seriously helped me to put some of these concepts in a form that makes sense, as some of these things, believe it or not, seemed strange and even counter-productive at first. You may have had no problems getting girls (and as someone posting on a magic forum, I look at that with more than a little skepticism), but other people need a little help beyond do what you think you wont regret. What better model than a super-sentient dragon who knows how to bide his time, play aloof, yet be witty and engaging when called for. Also, who doesn't want to emulate a dragon.
Whether you like it or not, may the force be with you,
Svogthir
Also, this "You may have had no problems getting girls (and as someone posting on a magic forum, I look at that with more than a little skepticism)" is brilliant. But enough off-topickings.
Now I feel like a bit of a jerk for over reacting. No harm no foul. Oh, and one more tip for anyone listening: If you give off an air of confidence, people will believe you. If people believe you, you might even start to believe it ;)...
sry but i just had to sig what u said
Thanks to Theismisacrime for this beautiful signature over at damnation studios
It's the web, it happens, I should have been more clear. No bigs. Even if I am slowly cleaning my keyboard with salty tears and buffing my screen with my forehead now.
@OP: The confidence bit quoted above is actually important. Take a moment to think before you speak so you don't have too many stutters and misspeakings.
Don't talk too much about yourself, try and keep the conversation more on her if you can without being awkward about it. People like talking about themselves, usually, if only a little.
The less you tell her about you, the more you seem mysterious, which just adds to your clout. Plus (if she's interested) it'll drive her wild trying figure you out, rather than the other way around. Just as in magic, you want to keep a full hand, but keep it where your opponent cant see it.
You are the man! You totally have the advantage because she probably thinks scoring with the sexy teacher would make her look even better. I'd hit that if I were you. I'd hit that as quick as I could. If I were you, I'd get her alone, and then drop your pants and ask her if shes ready for her oral exam.
There's nothing sweeter than hot, barely legal, almost jailbait ass.
RUG Riku, Two is Better Than One
UB [PRIMER] Wrexial, Classic Control
RG Radha, Ramp's Theme Goes With Everything
I know they frown upon short posts here, but I think this sums up all I could semantically express to the writer of this post:
Edit: that said, his name is pervy...
I'm the milkman b*tch!!
I suck the milk out of those titties dry
Haha, but in all seriousness, he should seriously hit it.
Warning for spam
RUG Riku, Two is Better Than One
UB [PRIMER] Wrexial, Classic Control
RG Radha, Ramp's Theme Goes With Everything
If only it were that easy.
But right now, I have to wait a day or so to text her, since I talked to her yesterday and texted her wondering how her day was and she didn't text me back. So I don't know if that was creepy or what.
I like the poster who said that every situation is different, which is absolutely true. I have to admit that my skills in this area are terrible and it really bothers me that I have to ask advice on how to talk to girls.
Get'r Dungrove (Friday July 6th - Friday September 21st)
TYPE 2: Best Builds
:symw::symg:Township Tokens 19-8-0 (ret. 2/24/12)
Mono Green Eldrazi 22-8-1 (ret. 10/1/10)
2012 Standard Platinum TCQ - Lowell, MA: Top 20
2012 MaxPoint TCG Open 5k - Providence: Top 35
"If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but a ***** ain't one!" --Jay Z
No but seriously, that's ☺☺☺☺ing awesome!! You used to teach her?!?! Uhh just don't pester her with plans, she'll think your creepy. Girls are like that.
Naw man, it's cool. Girls are complicated.....very complicated. BTW you weren't creepy for texting her what you said. Also, do either of you smoke or drink? A party is always a good way to show girls your fun side (which they then adore).
OR
You can hang out with her, one of her friends. You, one of your friends. Show her what you usually act like (assuming that's a good thing).
Trades
UBRTezzUBR
UMono-Blue-ControlU
RUGRiku of Two ReflectionsRUG
No I didn't teach her. I just knew her because I had to help her edit a video once (I did film related stuff at the school as well), so that's how I knew her. We were friendly after that. She'd always smile at me when I saw her. She even came up to me be herself and wished me a Happy Birthday when it was mine. lol. So shes cool, but I'm probably in a long line of guys that want to get with her.
Oh, she thinks its cool that I play Magic.
Get'r Dungrove (Friday July 6th - Friday September 21st)
TYPE 2: Best Builds
:symw::symg:Township Tokens 19-8-0 (ret. 2/24/12)
Mono Green Eldrazi 22-8-1 (ret. 10/1/10)
2012 Standard Platinum TCQ - Lowell, MA: Top 20
2012 MaxPoint TCG Open 5k - Providence: Top 35
Do anyone else agree?
Get'r Dungrove (Friday July 6th - Friday September 21st)
TYPE 2: Best Builds
:symw::symg:Township Tokens 19-8-0 (ret. 2/24/12)
Mono Green Eldrazi 22-8-1 (ret. 10/1/10)
2012 Standard Platinum TCQ - Lowell, MA: Top 20
2012 MaxPoint TCG Open 5k - Providence: Top 35
There isn't a proper procedure, at best there's just common things guys do. They may not be the right thing to do (certainly not for every situation).
Ordinarily, I'd say to just go for it (pursue her consistently but reasonably and without pestering) because you have nothing to lose. But I dunno, this situation is icky to me. Just a couple months ago (presumably) you had a position of respect and authority over her and she was a student. Even if you weren't specifically her teacher, I think this is a breach of ethics and I don't think it's kosher.
You embarrass me.
Sad generalization is sad. Not all Magic players are pasty dweebs who dress bad and piss themselves when trying to talk to girls. I don't even think that's the average. A lot of them are completely average guys with jobs, social lives and - yes - even relationships.
Archatmos
Excellion
Fracture: Israfiel (WBR), Wujal (URG), Valedon (GUB), Amduat (BGW), Paladris (RWU)
Collision (Set Two of the Fracture Block)
Quest for the Forsaken (Set Two of the Excellion Block)
Katingal: Plane of Chains
UB - Tezzerator 2.0 - UB
8-3-0
(Decklist and blog updated 4/11/2011)
"Fun fact about me: I home brew my buddies meta deck. He went from having a much lower ranking then me to a significantly higher rating since I started doing this."
Actually, lots of magic players are just normal people. They may be nerdy(I sure am), but they aren't any more repulsive to women than a guy who doesn't play magic is. I've fooled around with over 20 women, I've had sex with 6 of them, and 9 of them have been girlfriends. I'm only 19 going on 20. Look at my profile picture and tell me if you think I look like a nerd. Just because someone plays magic does not automatically make them a dweeb in the woman department.
What do Steve Urkel and friends have anything to do with this situation? =p
RUG Riku, Two is Better Than One
UB [PRIMER] Wrexial, Classic Control
RG Radha, Ramp's Theme Goes With Everything