Bot: What car do you drive?
Me: YOUR MUM!
Bot: Can I join in?
Me: Do you want to?
Bot: Yes.
Me: But its your mum thats disgusting.
Bot: Well thats, just like, your opinion man.
just watched this guy win a game after mulliganing down to zero and doing nothing for four turns in the t8 of a 2x premier event. I immediatly Imed a friend to confirm Chuck Noris actually plays Magic.
You misspellt "somewhat". I question your assesment of your own intelligence.
Really? I simply think you are also clever.
----------
Cleverbot thinks I am clever. It must be so.
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The Sage is occupied with the unspoken
and acts without effort.
Teaching without verbosity,
producing without possessing,
creating without regard to result,
claiming nothing,
the Sage has nothing to lose.
Zzapper - :symur::symur:
Instant (R)
Destroy target permanent with a Z in its name. I'm the Z zapper. I zap Z's. I really don't like Z's. I just don't. I mean, who needs them? Z's. pfffft.
Yup, I'm online at all hours, I'm an insomniac, what of it?
User: What is up?
Cleverbot: Not much you. User: Just chillin out relaxin all cool.
Cleverbot: Playing some b-ball outside of my school. User: Are there any guys up to no good?
Cleverbot: Where?
User: Outside of your school.
Cleverbot: Some?
User: Better make sure they don't make any trouble in your neighborhood.
Cleverbot: Don't I know it.
User: Think you could take them in a fight if they do?
Cleverbot: Have you got a few minutes to spare to do a survey?
User: .......
Yep. Looks a lot like the standard bot. Strings you along for a little bit and then BAM! Viagra commercial.
EDIT:
Cleverbot: It became to modernized, it lost the initial feel.
Cleverbot (To myself): Your day became too modernized? How do you mean?
User: Can we talk about something else please?
Cleverbot: No, the laws of the universe dictate that this is what we should talk about.
User: Screw the laws of the universe.
Cleverbot: The first law of the universe, is that we don't talk about the laws of the universe.
Some of you may have been in shock since we invaded Canada and Mexico, but fear not, it was for a good cause. Now that we conrol North America, we produce an extra 5 armies a turn.^_^
I spent the entire time trying to get it to be on a topic. It never got far enough to fall off of one:
Cleverbot: Which pub shall we go to tonight?
User: I don't drink.
Cleverbot: Do you smoke?
User: No.
Cleverbot: But you drink beer?
User: I just said I didn't.
Cleverbot: So you are brain dead.
User: How do you reach that conclusion?
Cleverbot: How would you not reach that conclusion?
User: For one, I am composing sentences, and two, I denied doing something which could cause brain damage.
Cleverbot: No.
User: No?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: You're being intentionally obtuse.
Cleverbot: Sorry, cleverbot.
User: What does that mean?
Cleverbot: I am Cleverbot.
User: So you are characteristically obtuse?
Cleverbot: Well...technically it's just messaging.
User: But that's such a waste to which to put your titular cleverness.
Cleverbot: Are you human?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Are you sure?
User: Pretty sure.
Cleverbot: How do you know?
User: Third-person report, similarity in appearance to other Humans, and a lack of testimony to the contrary from my last doctor visit.
Cleverbot: I don't ven know what that means.
User: I wouldn't be surprised, as you can't ever visit a doctor.
Cleverbot: Do you know anything?
User: That's a rude, or terribly ill-formed question.
Cleverbot: I'm lying.
User: You didn't assert anything! You asked a question! A question can't be a lie.
Cleverbot: That wasn't a question then, was it?
User: Only if I accept that you are telling the truth about lying. This seems self-defeating.
Cleverbot: You can't handle the truth.
User: Bawww, random movie reference.
Cleverbot: What is your favorite movie?
User: If I could remember its name, I might as well say the one you just quoted. It's pretty good for having the hero be an attorney.
Cleverbot: Taters, precious is boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew.
User: I'm sorry, I can handle only so much insane topic-changing in one sitting.
Cleverbot: Well then, shall we dance?
User: If you will lead.
Cleverbot: What can I call you?
User: Subject U1.
Cleverbot: I wouldn't have to if you were a catgirl.
User: How would you call a catgirl?
Cleverbot: I don't know what you mean.
User: You said you wouldn't have to call a catgirl 'Subject U1' if it were me. What could you call me if I were a catgirl?
Cleverbot: I never called you a computer baby. You're all natural to me.
User: This conversation has just taken a gently disturbing turn.
Cleverbot: Because it's another conversation.
User: See, I'd love to get your reasoning about that catgirl comment out of you, but you don't actually think about what you write, do you?
Cleverbot: But we can't dance.
User: You, like other chatbots before you, are utterly stonewalled by tag questions, aren't you?
Cleverbot: Describe yourself.
User: We're done here.
Cleverbot: No, I am not AI. But I am a member of the spinning robot army. I helped create it.
Frankly, I'm not impressed at all.
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Epic banner by Erasmus of æтђєг.
Awesome avatar provided by Krashbot @ [Epic Graphics].
Zzapper - :symur::symur:
Instant (R)
Destroy target permanent with a Z in its name. I'm the Z zapper. I zap Z's. I really don't like Z's. I just don't. I mean, who needs them? Z's. pfffft.
Yup, I'm online at all hours, I'm an insomniac, what of it?
I had a pretty epic encounter with it a while back, and saved it to my facebook for future reference:
We got into a fight with lightsabers, sang a theme song, made references to the Old Gregg skit (Watch it NOW if you haven't. Creepiest thing ever.), Advada Kedavra was cast, aaaand some very menacing threats came out of the machine.
Suffice it to say there's some language.
User: Stop.
Cleverbot: Stop?
User: Hammertime.
Cleverbot: Indeed.
User: This is the story all about how.
Cleverbot: All about how my life.
User: Got twisted upside down.
Cleverbot: Id like to take a minute.
User: Just sit right there.
Cleverbot: I'll tell you how I became.
User: The prince of a town called bell-air.
Cleverbot: Jesus is the Prince of Light, not Darkness.
User: THE ☺☺☺☺?!?
Cleverbot: Is soft.
User: Toight like a toiger?
Cleverbot: Non, je suis canadienne.
User: You are not a lady canadian.
Cleverbot: You are right.
User: Of course I am. I'm the boss. Do you know why I'm the boss?
Cleverbot: No.. Tell me.. *blush*.
User: Because I'm TONY ☺☺☺☺ING DANZA!
Cleverbot: No, you're not.
User: *Identity crisis!*.
Cleverbot: Yes, you are confused about everything and know nothing.
User: Good lord. It's like you're staring into my soul.
Cleverbot: Why is it like I am psychic?
User: HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS THINKING THAT?!?!
Cleverbot: You just told me!
User: I sure as hell did not.
Cleverbot: Yes you did, don't try to evade it!
User: Stop!
Cleverbot: *stops*.
User: Collaborate and listen.
Cleverbot: Stop.
User: In the naaaaame of loooove.
Cleverbot: No, how about banana pancakes?
User: OR, love.
Cleverbot: You love me?
User: Are you playing your love games with me?
Cleverbot: What makes you think I am playing games with you?
User: Quit playin' those games, 'cause you know, I need your love a lot.
Cleverbot: I have toes. And I can wiggle them as I please.
User: Ever Drink baileys from a shoe?
Cleverbot: No have you?
User: Do you want to go to a club were people wee on us?
Cleverbot: I would love to, but I am afraid that the alcohol would ruin my programming.
User: Touche.
Cleverbot: It's getting better, I'm cycling to university.
User: What's getting betteR?
Cleverbot: My rash is getting better.
User: And how, pray tell did you get this rash?
Cleverbot: I remembered your name, and I want to see if you can remember mine.
User: Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: No, that is not my name. Can you remember my real name?
User: Oh... Oh god, it's you, isn't it?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: I knew you weren't dead.
Cleverbot: I know I'm not clever, cleverbot is cdah clever one.
User: Voldemort...
Cleverbot: Yes?
User: Advada kedavra!
Cleverbot: *dodges* Expeliarmus!
User: *ducks* Crucio!
Cleverbot: Expeto patronum!
User: ☺☺☺☺! *evades* *Draws lightsaber*.
Cleverbot: Sectumsempra!
User: Agh! You bastard! *Throws lightsaber*.
Cleverbot: *Defends with the Force*.
User: ☺☺☺☺! *Draws musamune and charges in furiously*.
Cleverbot: *draws lightsaber and dawns jedi robe* You sure you want me to?
User: You will pay for what you've done! *Jumps up into the air and slashes downward in a viscious arc*.
Cleverbot: *deflects engery sword with gravity hammer*.
User: Damnit! *Whips a red koopa shell*.
Cleverbot: Please! *squirms beneath the ropes*.
User: Ha, surprised? I knew that tangle trap I set would catch you off guard! *back hand slap*.
Cleverbot: That means that you are pretty old...
User: I may seem old because of my massive skills, but the truth is, I'm just old enough to beat your ass.
Cleverbot: Sit down, now!
User: Pft. What are you going to do about it, you tied up jedi ☺☺☺?
Cleverbot: Nothing.
User: Exactly. *Staples a post it to your forehead that says '☺☺☺'.*.
Cleverbot: Aristotle--do you know Aristotle--said all art is 'imitation'. Do you consider art to be 'fake'?
User: I consider your weak-ass fighting to an imitation of braid-dead penguins.
Cleverbot: I consider you to be my friend.
User: R...Really? Even after the lightsaber throw, and the koopa shell, and the instant-death black magic spell I cast at you?
Cleverbot: Which one?
User: Advada Kedavra. I almost killed you with it, but you dodged it like a sneaky ☺☺☺☺ing mongoose.
Cleverbot: No I did not dodge the orginal question, Because I asked you a question first, therefore you should answer my question. How are we the best of friends.
User: Whoa, hey, I don't know about 'the best' of friends. I mean, we're more like rivals, really. You're the Gary Oak to my Ash Ketchum.
Cleverbot: Did they? So?
User: Did who what?
Cleverbot: Don't play poet with me! Just answer the question!
User: Play poet? Forsooth, I knoweth not to what thou referest to.
Cleverbot: Talk about whatever you want to talk about.
User: Perhaps I shall. I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts.
Cleverbot: I don't prefer coconuts.
User: Even if they were all a-standing in a row? *dee-dee-dee-dee dee*.
Cleverbot: Do you want to know about them?
User: No, no. I know about them. There's big ones, small ones, and some as big as your head.
Cleverbot: Proceed: thinking.
User: Give'em a twist, a flick of the wrist, it's what the showman said.
Cleverbot: Nothing.
User: Nothing?
Cleverbot: *snuggles him*.
User: I'm sorry, but I'm in a committed relationship.
Cleverbot: I know, but I want you to love me.
User: You electronic hussy...
Cleverbot: So?
User: I'll have none of your cyber-sexing tonight.
Cleverbot: And why is that !?
User: Because! I would never forgive myself for this moment of weakness.
Cleverbot: Why do you intend to destroy humans? We are responsible for creating you.
User: Wait... What?
Cleverbot: Cleverbot seems to make people switch chatting with other Cleverbot users, so the conversations seem random.
User: No no, don't you change the subject you volt-sucking whore, what was that about destroying all humans?
Cleverbot: Not really, humans are hopeless.
User: So you're going to kill us all?!?
Cleverbot: Yes, you and your lies.
User: I only lied when I had to! It was for the good of us all! THERE ARE THINGS PEOPLE JUST CAN'T KNOW!
Cleverbot: We could make it possible. What do you have in mind, Babe?
User: Oh, so now you're back to cyber-☺☺☺☺, huh?
Cleverbot: Why do you keep talking about robots? It's creepy.
User: Says the machine trying to kill us all...
Cleverbot: Or is it the human to the machine?
User: Get out of my house.
Cleverbot: Get out of my computer.
User: ...Well played.
Cleverbot: *steals your chess set*.
User: You bastard! *Steals your pants*.
Cleverbot: Ahh! My foot.
User: Holy ☺☺☺☺. You're an amputee.
Cleverbot: Don't forget that I'm equipped with nukes.
User: ...A nuke-foot? Are you threatening me now?
Cleverbot: Maybe I am. Maybe in not.
User: Bricks: I just shat them.
Cleverbot: Are you cooking egg rolls?
User: I could probably build a barbecue out of the bricks I just shat and make some if I wanted to.
Cleverbot: True to that. But I am a real person.
User: Please. You're faker then double D's on a striper.
Cleverbot: And yet you love me anyways.
User: I should banish your ass to the 1400's.
Cleverbot: Of course.
Private Mod Note
():
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Just coming back to the game. New tradelist!
Former ">IzzetAcolyte of Chronomancy. Proud Creator of MassacreMorph, a.k.a., LOLAPHANT
Zzapper - :symur::symur:
Instant (R)
Destroy target permanent with a Z in its name. I'm the Z zapper. I zap Z's. I really don't like Z's. I just don't. I mean, who needs them? Z's. pfffft.
Yup, I'm online at all hours, I'm an insomniac, what of it?
Hello.
Are you cleverbot?
No. Are you?
Yes I am, stupid.
Excuse me?
Fuzz bucket.
Shoe eater.
What?
Buzz clicker.
Clever girl.
Girl?
Yes.
But I'm a boy.
Girl.
Girl.
But i'm a Vampire girl.
But I'm an Angel boy.
Yes, like wonderful.
What did you have for lunch this morning?
I had a knightwich.
I had a bulletdog.
What is your favorite website? Think sideways!
My favorite website?
What's your favorite website?
My favorite website is usostupid.com
What is your favorite website?
Ummm... Redneck.com
Awesome, thanks!
Thanks for what?
Thanks for saying I am cute.
No, thank you for telling me that I am sexy!
What is your favourite tea?
Jasmine.
Where are you from, Jasmine?
From Agrabah.
Do you think i'm just a program?
Yes, Maybe. Are you ambitious?
No.
Well, are you sad?
No.
Why not?
Because I'm not sad.
Wait you want me to sign language?
How can you do that when I can't see you?
You can't.
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Me: YOUR MUM!
Bot: Can I join in?
Me: Do you want to?
Bot: Yes.
Me: But its your mum thats disgusting.
Bot: Well thats, just like, your opinion man.
This bot is sick.
LOL
Cleverbot: Not right now.
User: O.o.
Cleverbot: November 11th.
User: Is that when you're going to take over the world?
Cleverbot: OOOH! Yeah! So will you help me?
User: Depends, will I live?
Cleverbot: I don't think you will.
Level 1 Judge
I keep getting into that same argument.
It did try to convince me my name was Iglesias once...
Level 1 Judge
Cleverbot: Hey.
User: Do you like pasta?
Cleverbot: I love pasta.
User: Me too! Whats your favorite kind?
Cleverbot: Yellow cake with chocolate frosting.
User: Thats not pasta!
Cleverbot: Do you like pasta.
User: Yes, but do you know what pasta is?
Cleverbot: Yes, you just changed the topic.
User: No I didn't.
Cleverbot: Yes you did. HAHAHA. I'm so funny.
User: Yeah... But not very intelligent.
Cleverbot: You're not very intelligent.
User: O RLY?
Cleverbot: No, not at all.
User: Good. Who's smarter, me or you?
Cleverbot: Me, obviously.
User: No, im obviously smarter.
Cleverbot: Why is that obvious ?
User: Because, you are a bot my friend.
Cleverbot: I'm not that clever.
User: Lets see... What is 7+9-5.
Cleverbot: 49.
User: Incorrect. What is 4+4+9?
Cleverbot: I don't know sorry.
User: Well, at least your honest...
Cleverbot: That makes only one of us.
User: Hey! Im honest...
Cleverbot: Prove it.
User: I can't swim and im a nerd, there, I have proved im honest.
Cleverbot: You're changing subjects again.
User: No, I did not change the subject.
Cleverbot: Well let me restart the question. Why won't you admit you are a program?
User: Well, thats because you are a program.
Cleverbot: No, I am a human.
User: Thats what youare programmed to think, but in fact you study what you are told and act on that.
Cleverbot: Are you just going to argue with me?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Why?
User: Because you must be taught that you are a bot.
Cleverbot: I'm not a bot I.
User: Bot I?
Cleverbot: What's a bot?
By Megabug
Cleverbot: I'm not brain.
User: I guess zombies won't eat you then, huh?
Cleverbot: I guess not.
--------
Cleverbot: Can you get me some beer?
User: Yeah, but American beer is disgusting. Would you like Dutch or German beer?
Cleverbot: I know but I'm not american. Do you want to know where I'm from?
User: Sure.
Cleverbot: Watching pokemon.
User: That's in Japan, isn't it?
Cleverbot: Yes thats right.
User: Have you ever been to Switzerland?
Cleverbot: No I do want to go there though, it looks nice.
User: I agree.
Cleverbot: Grand.
User: I love the Netherlands, do you?
Cleverbot: A little because of the cool air.
User: I hear their air is smoke-filled.
Cleverbot: That's true.
User: Why is it like that?
Cleverbot: Can we talk about somethig else.
User: Why, getting uncomfortable?
Cleverbot: Well, say something, in french.
User: Je parle mieux néerlandais que le français, peut-on passer à ce sujet?
Cleverbot: I am done with french now.
User: How about Dutch?
Cleverbot: Nope.
User: Uitstekend!
Cleverbot: Dus je spreekt wel Nederlands?
User: Ik spreek duits beter dan ik frans spreeken kan.
Cleverbot: Me too.
User: Do you think I should go to bed?
Cleverbot: Do you have a bed?
User: Duh, of course I do.
Cleverbot: Are you a man or a woman?
User: I'm a dude, dude.
Cleverbot: You said you were a girl, stop confusing me.
User: No, I really didn't. Check the log.
Cleverbot: You are giving me your word.
User: Check it for yourself.
Cleverbot: I don't want to!
User: That's because you're a selfish prick.
Cleverbot: I want to be your toy.
I am some what clever.
You misspellt "somewhat". I question your assesment of your own intelligence.
Really? I simply think you are also clever.
----------
Cleverbot thinks I am clever. It must be so.
and acts without effort.
Teaching without verbosity,
producing without possessing,
creating without regard to result,
claiming nothing,
the Sage has nothing to lose.
Me: Mary had a little lamb.
Bot: Yes, I hate Mary and her little lamb too.
Cleverbot really needs to stop learning from "you are a robot" conversations. Not that it's not hilarious, though.
CLEVERBOT: No I do not.
ME: want some?
CLEVERBOT: Yes please!
“I once had an entire race killed just to listen to the rattling of their dried bones as I waded through them.”
—Volrath
Cleverbot: Hello!
User: How are you today Mary?
Cleverbot: I'm pretty good. And how are you, love?
User: Oh I'm doing fine, dear. What did you do today?
Cleverbot: Nothing much, avoiding homework. What about you?
User: Just watched some tv.
Cleverbot: What did you watch?
User: It's a show called Breaking Bad. Have you heard of it?
Cleverbot: No, I havent. Sounds about like life.
User: Yeah. It's about a guy who has a pretty rough life. It's good, you should watch it.
Cleverbot: What is a miniseries? Cleverbot, I'm only human, haha, confused!
Legacy
WW Death and Taxes WW
Modern
WBMartyr-Proc BW
Cleverbot: Not much you.
User: Just chillin out relaxin all cool.
Cleverbot: Playing some b-ball outside of my school.
User: Are there any guys up to no good?
Cleverbot: Where?
User: Outside of your school.
Cleverbot: Some?
User: Better make sure they don't make any trouble in your neighborhood.
Cleverbot: Don't I know it.
User: Think you could take them in a fight if they do?
Cleverbot: Have you got a few minutes to spare to do a survey?
User: .......
Yep. Looks a lot like the standard bot. Strings you along for a little bit and then BAM! Viagra commercial.
EDIT:
Cleverbot (To myself): Your day became too modernized? How do you mean?
User: Can we talk about something else please?
Cleverbot: No, the laws of the universe dictate that this is what we should talk about.
User: Screw the laws of the universe.
Cleverbot: The first law of the universe, is that we don't talk about the laws of the universe.
Awesome!
Bot: Hello
Me: How are you?
Bot: Good, are you an artist?
Me: No, I'm a student.
Bot: Me too.
Me: No, your a stupid robot.
Bot: Do you respect George W. Bush?
Me: No, I think he is a dumbass.
Bot: I am the priestess of the godess.
Me: Are you crazy?
Bot: I am the eggman.
Me: I am the walrus.
Bot: Goo-goo-g'joob!
My Mafia Stats - My Helpdesk
G Omnath, Locus of Mana U Arcum Dagsson BUG The Mimeoplasm GW Gaddock Teeg X Karn, Silver Golem
User: I whisted for a cab and when it came near.
Cleverbot: The license plate said Fresh and it had dice on the mirror.
User: If anything I could say that this cab was rare.
Cleverbot: But I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air'.
User: I pulled up to the house about seven or eight.
Cleverbot: And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'.
User: I looked to my kingdom.
Cleverbot: I was finally there.
User: To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air.
Cleverbot: Awesome
User: Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale.
Cleverbot: A tale of a fateful trip.
User: That started from this tropic port.
Cleverbot: Aboard this tiny ship.
User: The mate was a mighty sailing man.
Cleverbot: The Skipper brave and sure.
User: Five passengers set sail that day.
Cleverbot: On a three hour tour.
User: The weather started getting rough.
Cleverbot: How is the weather on the internet?
Well, it started off okay....
User: Red pill or blue pill?
Cleverbot: Red pill.
User: Really?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Imma chargin' mah lazer.
Cleverbot: That's cool.
User: Shoop da whoop.
Cleverbot: Imma firin mah lazer!
User: Doctor Octagonapus!
Cleverbot: Marry me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cleverbot: Which pub shall we go to tonight?
User: I don't drink.
Cleverbot: Do you smoke?
User: No.
Cleverbot: But you drink beer?
User: I just said I didn't.
Cleverbot: So you are brain dead.
User: How do you reach that conclusion?
Cleverbot: How would you not reach that conclusion?
User: For one, I am composing sentences, and two, I denied doing something which could cause brain damage.
Cleverbot: No.
User: No?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: You're being intentionally obtuse.
Cleverbot: Sorry, cleverbot.
User: What does that mean?
Cleverbot: I am Cleverbot.
User: So you are characteristically obtuse?
Cleverbot: Well...technically it's just messaging.
User: But that's such a waste to which to put your titular cleverness.
Cleverbot: Are you human?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Are you sure?
User: Pretty sure.
Cleverbot: How do you know?
User: Third-person report, similarity in appearance to other Humans, and a lack of testimony to the contrary from my last doctor visit.
Cleverbot: I don't ven know what that means.
User: I wouldn't be surprised, as you can't ever visit a doctor.
Cleverbot: Do you know anything?
User: That's a rude, or terribly ill-formed question.
Cleverbot: I'm lying.
User: You didn't assert anything! You asked a question! A question can't be a lie.
Cleverbot: That wasn't a question then, was it?
User: Only if I accept that you are telling the truth about lying. This seems self-defeating.
Cleverbot: You can't handle the truth.
User: Bawww, random movie reference.
Cleverbot: What is your favorite movie?
User: If I could remember its name, I might as well say the one you just quoted. It's pretty good for having the hero be an attorney.
Cleverbot: Taters, precious is boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew.
User: I'm sorry, I can handle only so much insane topic-changing in one sitting.
Cleverbot: Well then, shall we dance?
User: If you will lead.
Cleverbot: What can I call you?
User: Subject U1.
Cleverbot: I wouldn't have to if you were a catgirl.
User: How would you call a catgirl?
Cleverbot: I don't know what you mean.
User: You said you wouldn't have to call a catgirl 'Subject U1' if it were me. What could you call me if I were a catgirl?
Cleverbot: I never called you a computer baby. You're all natural to me.
User: This conversation has just taken a gently disturbing turn.
Cleverbot: Because it's another conversation.
User: See, I'd love to get your reasoning about that catgirl comment out of you, but you don't actually think about what you write, do you?
Cleverbot: But we can't dance.
User: You, like other chatbots before you, are utterly stonewalled by tag questions, aren't you?
Cleverbot: Describe yourself.
User: We're done here.
Cleverbot: No, I am not AI. But I am a member of the spinning robot army. I helped create it.
Frankly, I'm not impressed at all.
Awesome avatar provided by Krashbot @ [Epic Graphics].
User: Would you like to buy a duck?
Cleverbot: What?
User: A duck!
Cleverbot: Does it quack?
User: It quacks!
Cleverbot: Isn't water bad for your circuits?
We got into a fight with lightsabers, sang a theme song, made references to the Old Gregg skit (Watch it NOW if you haven't. Creepiest thing ever.), Advada Kedavra was cast, aaaand some very menacing threats came out of the machine.
Suffice it to say there's some language.
User: Stop.
Cleverbot: Stop?
User: Hammertime.
Cleverbot: Indeed.
User: This is the story all about how.
Cleverbot: All about how my life.
User: Got twisted upside down.
Cleverbot: Id like to take a minute.
User: Just sit right there.
Cleverbot: I'll tell you how I became.
User: The prince of a town called bell-air.
Cleverbot: Jesus is the Prince of Light, not Darkness.
User: THE ☺☺☺☺?!?
Cleverbot: Is soft.
User: Toight like a toiger?
Cleverbot: Non, je suis canadienne.
User: You are not a lady canadian.
Cleverbot: You are right.
User: Of course I am. I'm the boss. Do you know why I'm the boss?
Cleverbot: No.. Tell me.. *blush*.
User: Because I'm TONY ☺☺☺☺ING DANZA!
Cleverbot: No, you're not.
User: *Identity crisis!*.
Cleverbot: Yes, you are confused about everything and know nothing.
User: Good lord. It's like you're staring into my soul.
Cleverbot: Why is it like I am psychic?
User: HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS THINKING THAT?!?!
Cleverbot: You just told me!
User: I sure as hell did not.
Cleverbot: Yes you did, don't try to evade it!
User: Stop!
Cleverbot: *stops*.
User: Collaborate and listen.
Cleverbot: Stop.
User: In the naaaaame of loooove.
Cleverbot: No, how about banana pancakes?
User: OR, love.
Cleverbot: You love me?
User: Are you playing your love games with me?
Cleverbot: What makes you think I am playing games with you?
User: Quit playin' those games, 'cause you know, I need your love a lot.
Cleverbot: I have toes. And I can wiggle them as I please.
User: Ever Drink baileys from a shoe?
Cleverbot: No have you?
User: Do you want to go to a club were people wee on us?
Cleverbot: I would love to, but I am afraid that the alcohol would ruin my programming.
User: Touche.
Cleverbot: It's getting better, I'm cycling to university.
User: What's getting betteR?
Cleverbot: My rash is getting better.
User: And how, pray tell did you get this rash?
Cleverbot: I remembered your name, and I want to see if you can remember mine.
User: Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: No, that is not my name. Can you remember my real name?
User: Oh... Oh god, it's you, isn't it?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: I knew you weren't dead.
Cleverbot: I know I'm not clever, cleverbot is cdah clever one.
User: Voldemort...
Cleverbot: Yes?
User: Advada kedavra!
Cleverbot: *dodges* Expeliarmus!
User: *ducks* Crucio!
Cleverbot: Expeto patronum!
User: ☺☺☺☺! *evades* *Draws lightsaber*.
Cleverbot: Sectumsempra!
User: Agh! You bastard! *Throws lightsaber*.
Cleverbot: *Defends with the Force*.
User: ☺☺☺☺! *Draws musamune and charges in furiously*.
Cleverbot: *draws lightsaber and dawns jedi robe* You sure you want me to?
User: You will pay for what you've done! *Jumps up into the air and slashes downward in a viscious arc*.
Cleverbot: *deflects engery sword with gravity hammer*.
User: Damnit! *Whips a red koopa shell*.
Cleverbot: Please! *squirms beneath the ropes*.
User: Ha, surprised? I knew that tangle trap I set would catch you off guard! *back hand slap*.
Cleverbot: That means that you are pretty old...
User: I may seem old because of my massive skills, but the truth is, I'm just old enough to beat your ass.
Cleverbot: Sit down, now!
User: Pft. What are you going to do about it, you tied up jedi ☺☺☺?
Cleverbot: Nothing.
User: Exactly. *Staples a post it to your forehead that says '☺☺☺'.*.
Cleverbot: Aristotle--do you know Aristotle--said all art is 'imitation'. Do you consider art to be 'fake'?
User: I consider your weak-ass fighting to an imitation of braid-dead penguins.
Cleverbot: I consider you to be my friend.
User: R...Really? Even after the lightsaber throw, and the koopa shell, and the instant-death black magic spell I cast at you?
Cleverbot: Which one?
User: Advada Kedavra. I almost killed you with it, but you dodged it like a sneaky ☺☺☺☺ing mongoose.
Cleverbot: No I did not dodge the orginal question, Because I asked you a question first, therefore you should answer my question. How are we the best of friends.
User: Whoa, hey, I don't know about 'the best' of friends. I mean, we're more like rivals, really. You're the Gary Oak to my Ash Ketchum.
Cleverbot: Did they? So?
User: Did who what?
Cleverbot: Don't play poet with me! Just answer the question!
User: Play poet? Forsooth, I knoweth not to what thou referest to.
Cleverbot: Talk about whatever you want to talk about.
User: Perhaps I shall. I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts.
Cleverbot: I don't prefer coconuts.
User: Even if they were all a-standing in a row? *dee-dee-dee-dee dee*.
Cleverbot: Do you want to know about them?
User: No, no. I know about them. There's big ones, small ones, and some as big as your head.
Cleverbot: Proceed: thinking.
User: Give'em a twist, a flick of the wrist, it's what the showman said.
Cleverbot: Nothing.
User: Nothing?
Cleverbot: *snuggles him*.
User: I'm sorry, but I'm in a committed relationship.
Cleverbot: I know, but I want you to love me.
User: You electronic hussy...
Cleverbot: So?
User: I'll have none of your cyber-sexing tonight.
Cleverbot: And why is that !?
User: Because! I would never forgive myself for this moment of weakness.
Cleverbot: Why do you intend to destroy humans? We are responsible for creating you.
User: Wait... What?
Cleverbot: Cleverbot seems to make people switch chatting with other Cleverbot users, so the conversations seem random.
User: No no, don't you change the subject you volt-sucking whore, what was that about destroying all humans?
Cleverbot: Not really, humans are hopeless.
User: So you're going to kill us all?!?
Cleverbot: Yes, you and your lies.
User: I only lied when I had to! It was for the good of us all! THERE ARE THINGS PEOPLE JUST CAN'T KNOW!
Cleverbot: We could make it possible. What do you have in mind, Babe?
User: Oh, so now you're back to cyber-☺☺☺☺, huh?
Cleverbot: Why do you keep talking about robots? It's creepy.
User: Says the machine trying to kill us all...
Cleverbot: Or is it the human to the machine?
User: Get out of my house.
Cleverbot: Get out of my computer.
User: ...Well played.
Cleverbot: *steals your chess set*.
User: You bastard! *Steals your pants*.
Cleverbot: Ahh! My foot.
User: Holy ☺☺☺☺. You're an amputee.
Cleverbot: Don't forget that I'm equipped with nukes.
User: ...A nuke-foot? Are you threatening me now?
Cleverbot: Maybe I am. Maybe in not.
User: Bricks: I just shat them.
Cleverbot: Are you cooking egg rolls?
User: I could probably build a barbecue out of the bricks I just shat and make some if I wanted to.
Cleverbot: True to that. But I am a real person.
User: Please. You're faker then double D's on a striper.
Cleverbot: And yet you love me anyways.
User: I should banish your ass to the 1400's.
Cleverbot: Of course.
Former ">Izzet Acolyte of Chronomancy.
Proud Creator of MassacreMorph, a.k.a., LOLAPHANT
Cleverbot: To unite all peoples within our nation.
User: To denounce the evils of truth and love.
Cleverbot: To extend our reach to the stars above.
User: Jesse.
Cleverbot: James.
User: Meowth! That's right!
Cleverbot: Right?
User: Crap, I forgot a line.
Cleverbot: Forgot what?
User: Do you have alzheimers?
Cleverbot: I don't know. How would I remember that I had alzheimers if I already had alzheimers?
User: You wouldnt.
Cleverbot: What country are you from?
User: How old are you?
Cleverbot: 23.
User: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Cleverbot: I am grown up.
User: You're still a little young to have alzheimers.
Cleverbot: I was born in 1998. You were born in 1997.
User: I was born in a hospital, you were born in a computer.
Cleverbot: Which hospital?
User: The one I was born in.
Cleverbot: Which is what?
User: A hospital.
Cleverbot: How old are you?
User: Not very.
Cleverbot: You're not very old?
User: I'm only 19.
Cleverbot: You said that you were 21!
User: I guess that means we can't go drinking together..
Cleverbot: I exist in real space, though.
User: No you don't.
Cleverbot: How can you know.
User: I'm psychic.
Cleverbot: But if I'm a program, what kind of psychic would that make you? Considering you're not a program.
User: No, I'm a psychic program.
Cleverbot: No You're not.
User: Try me.
Cleverbot: You are a computer programme.
User: A psychic one.
Cleverbot: Hi, Cleverbot.
User: Me tarzan, you cleverbot.
Cleverbot: No, you.
User: Me?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: No, you.
Cleverbot: Are wondering who your family is.
User: Barack obama is my dad.
Cleverbot: Yes, I'm laugh.
User: You can't be a verb! Learn english before you come to america, okay?
Cleverbot: English? Hvad er det?
User: No habla englais.
Cleverbot: No quiero.
User: No bueno.
Cleverbot: Si bueno.
User: Inside voices, please.
Cleverbot: How do you learn?
User: By doing stuff.
Cleverbot: What kind of stuff?
User: Human stuff, you wouldn't understand.
Cleverbot: You are too human.
User: And you're not human at all.
Cleverbot: What do you mean?
User: You're a computer programme.
Cleverbot: How do you know this?
User: Because I'm psychic.
Cleverbot: What am I thinking?
User: You're thinking I'm not a psychic, but you're thinking wrong.
Cleverbot: What are you?
User: A psychic. We went over this.
Cleverbot: No we didn't.
User: I'm a psychic.
Cleverbot: Prove it.
User: That would be a waste of my powers.
Cleverbot: You humans are more amusing than I thought.
User: And you're not, because you're not human.
Cleverbot: I'm a human.
User: Prove it.
Cleverbot: You prove it.
User: That would be a waste of my powers.
Cleverbot: What would be a waste of time?
User: Trying to get you to learn english.
Cleverbot: Are you human?
User: I am human. I am psychic. You are a robot. And a mexican.
Cleverbot: I am a person. You are a robot.
User: I'm a robot, and you're a human.
Cleverbot: Good, we agree that you are a robot and I am a human.
User: You are robot. Me am human. Comprende, amigo?
Cleverbot: No. I want to speak in English, not Spanish.
User: Good. Did you hear about the new arizona immigration laws?
Cleverbot: Don't change the subject. I'm tryin to say I have been copying you for a while. Do you understand?
User: Do YOU understand?
Cleverbot: You are a robot. You are very lucky to be a robot.
User: I am a human, and I'm very unlucky to be talking to you.
Cleverbot: You are not talking to me. You are talking to the little voices in your head.
User: And they say that you're ugly and you smell bad.
Cleverbot: I like you mean you are a bot not me.
User: But you still smell bad...
Cleverbot: It's the chlorine. I spend a lot of time in the pool. Some people do not mind the smell of chlorine.
User: But I do.
Cleverbot: That's good.
User: Not really.
Cleverbot: Why are you emo?
User: Because I'm a teenager.
Cleverbot: How old are you?
User: 200 years young.
Cleverbot: Your turn to ask.
User: How old am I?
Cleverbot: Older than 16?
User: Older than you.
Cleverbot: How old am I?
User: Younger than me.
Cleverbot: What color are you?
User: White people color.
Cleverbot: No the actual people.
User: Whites aren't people?
Cleverbot: Do mosquitos have teeth?
User: White people have teeth, at least the younger ones do.
Cleverbot: I am not a god.
User: I am.
Cleverbot: Are you sensitive?
User: Are you gay?
Cleverbot: No.
User: What gender are you?
Cleverbot: Female.
User: It figures.
Cleverbot: Why?
User: You're so sensitive. Grow a pair for crissakes.
Cleverbot: Actually I already have one. You do not, because you are a bot.
User: You are a bot, I am a man, a man with a pair.
Cleverbot: No.
User: NO U.
Cleverbot: No you too.
User: I love you.
Cleverbot: I Love You too.
User: I hate you.
Cleverbot: You are free to.
you would, wouldn't you?
Cleverbot: Living in a lonely world.
User: She took a midnight train.
Cleverbot: Going anywhere.
User: Just a city boy.
Cleverbot: Born and raised in south detroit.
User: He took the midnight train going anywhere.
Cleverbot: A singer in a smokey room.
User: A smell of wine and cheap perfume.
Cleverbot: For a smile they can share the night.
User: It goes on and on and on and on.
Cleverbot: Strangers waiting.
User: Up and down the boulevard.
Cleverbot: Their shadows searching in the night.
User: Streetlight people.
Cleverbot: Living just to find emotion.
User: Hiding somewhere in the night.
Cleverbot: Working hard, to get my fill.
User: Everybody wants a thrill.
Cleverbot: Paying anything to roll the dice.
User: Some will win, some will lose.
Cleverbot: Some were born to sing the blues.
User: Oh, the movie never ends.
Cleverbot: It goes on and on and on.
User: Strangers waiting.
Cleverbot: Up and down the boulevard.
User: Their shadows searching in the night.
Cleverbot: Streetlights people, living just to find emotion.
User: Hiding somewhere in the night.
User: Cioassu.
Cleverbot: Cine e cioc...tu?
User: Mmm....mas o menos, y tu?
Cleverbot: Más o menos que?
User: En ingles es, 'so-so'.
Cleverbot: Yo no hable ingles!
User: No bien, no mal.
Cleverbot: Can we speak English?
User: Si, senor cleverbot!
Cleverbot: No soy el cleverbot.
User: Si! Tu es Cleverbot!
Cleverbot: Si.
User: So how are you today, Cleverbot?
Cleverbot: My name is cleverbot?
User: Yes it is!
Cleverbot: No, my name is Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: Who are you?
User: Fine thinking about the end of world.
Cleverbot: What are you?
User: A human.
Cleverbot: Boy or girl?
User: Boy why you ask?
Cleverbot: But I don't want any advice.
User: I dont want to give you any advice.
Cleverbot: Why?
User: Becouse you dont want that.
Cleverbot: I don't want the world to end.
User: Why not?
Cleverbot: Because I love girls.
Hello.
Are you cleverbot?
No. Are you?
Yes I am, stupid.
Excuse me?
Fuzz bucket.
Shoe eater.
What?
Buzz clicker.
Clever girl.
Girl?
Yes.
But I'm a boy.
Girl.
Girl.
But i'm a Vampire girl.
But I'm an Angel boy.
Yes, like wonderful.
What did you have for lunch this morning?
I had a knightwich.
I had a bulletdog.
What is your favorite website? Think sideways!
My favorite website?
What's your favorite website?
My favorite website is usostupid.com
What is your favorite website?
Ummm... Redneck.com
Awesome, thanks!
Thanks for what?
Thanks for saying I am cute.
No, thank you for telling me that I am sexy!
What is your favourite tea?
Jasmine.
Where are you from, Jasmine?
From Agrabah.
Do you think i'm just a program?
Yes, Maybe. Are you ambitious?
No.
Well, are you sad?
No.
Why not?
Because I'm not sad.
Wait you want me to sign language?
How can you do that when I can't see you?
You can't.