Fine if you are unconcerned about the cat how about a fellow crafter??
I still have Stardust comatose around here. In addition to that I have piano wire a fireworks rocket, matches and a very sick and twisted imagination. For the sake of his future children I hope you will give me the cheeese.
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Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag and start slitting throats.
- H.L Mencken
I Became insane with long Intervals of horrible Sanity
All Religion, my friend is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination and poetry.
- Edgar Allan Poe
It's okay Abby. Kahedron only has my Cackling Counterpart. Me? I'm in the Himalayas, readying my hang-glider on the edge of a cliff. Almost done...
There! I strap in and leap off the cliff's edge, flying high over the hills and valleys. With the help of a little magic, I maintain an updraft to bring me closer and closer to Everest's summit. Soon I'm high enough that I can see the Dragon ahead of me, and not long after that I'm overhead, listening to her slightly-out-of-tune mountain songs as I approach.
I'm sure she's spotted me by this point, but she's facing the other direction, undoubtedly setting me up for a trap... she spins with a wicked grin on her face just as I unbuckle myself from the glider, push myself forward and give her a hard two-footed kick in the nose.
"Ouch! That hurt!" she exclaims.
"Sorry," I reply, then do a dive roll, grab the cheese, and leap off the summit onto the slope below. A quick burst of heat from my fingertips provides me with an icy snowboard, and I go for a wild ride down the side of the mountain, cheese in hand.
I duck into a cave for a couple days until the Dragon's through looking for me, then head to my ice fortress on the hidden side of Nanga Parbat. Automated turrets will fire a barrage of two foot long icicles at any approach, land or sky, and once you're inside, a random few of the maze-like hallways have floors not thick enough to hold a human's weight, all of which have icy spikes below the floor. The hallways are kept at a constant -40°C to keep the pixies out. I'm in the center of the fortress, watching Pakistani television with the cheese.
Hm... pixie-proof... lots of turrets... the dangerous type... and random floor traps... this thing seems way too dangerous...
Ah, okay, I think I have something.
Aurora sends the Oversoul of Dusk in (since she's immune to the ice, which is either blue or red in terms of Magic colors). After the Oversoul gets the cheese and returns it to Aurora, Aurora takes the cheese and hides it on a shelf that's 2.3 m high.
But some of you may be thinking that this is too low? Well, there's a catch to this room. When you enter, the floor of the room will raise or lower depending on your height. (In other words, pretty much everyone is at an even playing field in this room; being taller doesn't mean you can just take the cheese easily.)
(The floor adjusts such that the shelf becomes 35 cm above your standing reach.)
(Assume that it's always possible to easily walk out of the room regardless of what level it's at. Also, no ladders are allowed.)
Using some SCUBA gear I rented from a fancy shop down the street, I dive down and retrieve the cheese, swimming back to the surface past the passed out Stardust (who I helpfully drag out of the tank). Then I take the cheese and drop it back to the bottom of the tank because I want to see if Stardust will be able to drink all that Guiness.
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I liek Phelddagrifs.
Official Knitter of the Crafters.
Currently knitting: It's a surprise!
I wake up from my alcohol induced coma and notice that all my progress has been undone! 21,000 gallons to go is just too disheartening, and I need something to cheer me up. Luckily, I know just the thing: Guiness slide!
After building a giant plastic ramp beneath the vat, I sit on top of the mesh screen and get my big dumb minotaur friend to push the vat full of Guiness over! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Omigosh! This is so much fun! Frothy, sticky, black and tasty fun swirls all around me as I tumble down the slide, half laughing, half drinking as much Guiness as I possibly can! When I finally reach the bottom I'm rolling around laughing, then pick up some head and make myself a Guiness afro and beard. Hahahahaha! Oh, look some cheese! I think I'll take that with me.
After jumping in the shower, taking special care to get the beer out of the intricate pieces of my robotic hands, the cheese and I head to Paris to enjoy the view from the Eiffel tower. I've got my baseball helmet, jockstrap, safety goggles, and the electromagnetic field surrounding my body to prevent current from moving within the field. Also, everyone knows that the blinking light on top of the tower zaps anything flying with 1000 gigawatts of electricity if it gets too close, which is why pixies don't live in Frace.
I hijack a Fire engine empty the water tank and refill it with Guinness. I then drive to Paris park with in range of the Eiffel tower. Get out carefully aim the hose and douse Stardust with the entire tank knocking him out of the tower and onto a cunningly place air bag I have put in the correct place for the express purpose of ensuring he has a soft landing.
I then retrieve the cheese and return to my darksteel tank which I put the cheese back in and refill with 32 year old Jameson Irish whiskey. Ensuring that the mesh is in place so no one can fall in.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag and start slitting throats.
- H.L Mencken
I Became insane with long Intervals of horrible Sanity
All Religion, my friend is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination and poetry.
- Edgar Allan Poe
Since when do you care so much about safety? I mean, I'm glad I'm not bleeding and unconscious, but I've never seen this side of you!
In the meantime, I think it's time for some
I get my old rod out of my father's tool shed and tie a rusty hook on there with a leader attached to the bottom. Sitting on top of the mesh, I hook the cheese and reel 'er in! The cheese is mine!
Enjoy it whilst it lasts. Not to sure how much longer I will be able to keep it up. I have a barrel of Guinness here I am willing to trade for the cheese.
You interested?
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag and start slitting throats.
- H.L Mencken
I Became insane with long Intervals of horrible Sanity
All Religion, my friend is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination and poetry.
- Edgar Allan Poe
Random holes in time and space like me. One has just opened up in my tank of Jamesons and deposited the cheese in it whilst not removing the whiskey and making the gaps in the mesh smaller.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag and start slitting throats.
- H.L Mencken
I Became insane with long Intervals of horrible Sanity
All Religion, my friend is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination and poetry.
- Edgar Allan Poe
When I wake up the following afternoon, the darksteel tank is empty. I mean, the cheese is gone too!
"Alright, who ate the cheese!?! I told you guys, that cheese is not to be eaten!"
A few drunken people glance over at me before lying down again.
"Damnit... Okay, guys, that cheese was poisoned! I have the antidote right here, but if you ate the cheese, you'd better come get it now because it's designed to kill you as soon as your hangover wears off!"
One guy with shifty eyes slowly hauls himself up and comes forward looking embarrassed. I bonk him on the head. "Damnit Merv, *bonk* I told you not to *bonk* eat the *bonk* cheese! It's not *bonk* poisoned, but *bonk* I should poison *bonk* you for being *bonk* so stupid!" *bonk*
I go buy a new cheese because Merv is a dummy. I put it in a darksteel vault that can be opened only by reciting the entirety of the King James Bible in my voice. There is a copy there for my convenience.
I look at the bible, look at Stardust see that he is serious, look back at the bible.
Sod it I don't have the time, breath or patience to do that. At least you got some enjoyment out of the Whiskey.
I freeze the safe down to 1K so it is again nice and brittle. Drill a hole in the top, fill the safe with water insert waterproof explosives on a radio detonator.
Set it off the safe door is now removed from the front of the safe. The cheese is now soggy.
I dry it out and return it to Stardust and ask him not to be so sadistic next time.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag and start slitting throats.
- H.L Mencken
I Became insane with long Intervals of horrible Sanity
All Religion, my friend is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination and poetry.
- Edgar Allan Poe
I take the cheese give it to Joe Rogan to put up as a prize on an episode of Fear Factor. You must consume two pounds of canned dog food, dive down into a swimming pool of insects to find the correct key to open a lock, and pick a dozen live rats out of a box with your mouth. Go!
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
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Official Knitter of the Crafters.
Currently knitting: It's a surprise!
I still have Stardust comatose around here. In addition to that I have piano wire a fireworks rocket, matches and a very sick and twisted imagination. For the sake of his future children I hope you will give me the cheeese.
- H.L Mencken
I Became insane with long Intervals of horrible Sanity
All Religion, my friend is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination and poetry.
- Edgar Allan Poe
The Crafters' Rules Guru
No. Cheese says that you were mean to him when you had him last. Let him get all melty and gross. Do what you will, I will not give you the cheese.
Official Knitter of the Crafters.
Currently knitting: It's a surprise!
There! I strap in and leap off the cliff's edge, flying high over the hills and valleys. With the help of a little magic, I maintain an updraft to bring me closer and closer to Everest's summit. Soon I'm high enough that I can see the Dragon ahead of me, and not long after that I'm overhead, listening to her slightly-out-of-tune mountain songs as I approach.
I'm sure she's spotted me by this point, but she's facing the other direction, undoubtedly setting me up for a trap... she spins with a wicked grin on her face just as I unbuckle myself from the glider, push myself forward and give her a hard two-footed kick in the nose.
"Ouch! That hurt!" she exclaims.
"Sorry," I reply, then do a dive roll, grab the cheese, and leap off the summit onto the slope below. A quick burst of heat from my fingertips provides me with an icy snowboard, and I go for a wild ride down the side of the mountain, cheese in hand.
I duck into a cave for a couple days until the Dragon's through looking for me, then head to my ice fortress on the hidden side of Nanga Parbat. Automated turrets will fire a barrage of two foot long icicles at any approach, land or sky, and once you're inside, a random few of the maze-like hallways have floors not thick enough to hold a human's weight, all of which have icy spikes below the floor. The hallways are kept at a constant -40°C to keep the pixies out. I'm in the center of the fortress, watching Pakistani television with the cheese.
All you have to do is come out of your fortress.
- H.L Mencken
I Became insane with long Intervals of horrible Sanity
All Religion, my friend is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination and poetry.
- Edgar Allan Poe
The Crafters' Rules Guru
Ah, okay, I think I have something.
Aurora sends the Oversoul of Dusk in (since she's immune to the ice, which is either blue or red in terms of Magic colors). After the Oversoul gets the cheese and returns it to Aurora, Aurora takes the cheese and hides it on a shelf that's 2.3 m high.
But some of you may be thinking that this is too low? Well, there's a catch to this room. When you enter, the floor of the room will raise or lower depending on your height. (In other words, pretty much everyone is at an even playing field in this room; being taller doesn't mean you can just take the cheese easily.)
(The floor adjusts such that the shelf becomes 35 cm above your standing reach.)
(Assume that it's always possible to easily walk out of the room regardless of what level it's at. Also, no ladders are allowed.)
—Aurora, Ætherwalker
Official Quizmaster of The Crafters!
Follow Lasersharp on Facebook
Leave the room put the cheese at the bottom of a 21,000 gallon darksteel tank that I then fill with Guinness.
- H.L Mencken
I Became insane with long Intervals of horrible Sanity
All Religion, my friend is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination and poetry.
- Edgar Allan Poe
The Crafters' Rules Guru
Official Quizmaster of The Crafters!
Follow Lasersharp on Facebook
- H.L Mencken
I Became insane with long Intervals of horrible Sanity
All Religion, my friend is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination and poetry.
- Edgar Allan Poe
The Crafters' Rules Guru
Official Quizmaster of The Crafters!
Follow Lasersharp on Facebook
I start drinking, then pass out with 20,998 gallons to go.
Care for another go?
- H.L Mencken
I Became insane with long Intervals of horrible Sanity
All Religion, my friend is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination and poetry.
- Edgar Allan Poe
The Crafters' Rules Guru
I pass out.
20,995 gallons to go.
Official Knitter of the Crafters.
Currently knitting: It's a surprise!
20,994 gallons to go.
Then top up the tank.
- H.L Mencken
I Became insane with long Intervals of horrible Sanity
All Religion, my friend is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination and poetry.
- Edgar Allan Poe
The Crafters' Rules Guru
After building a giant plastic ramp beneath the vat, I sit on top of the mesh screen and get my big dumb minotaur friend to push the vat full of Guiness over! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Omigosh! This is so much fun! Frothy, sticky, black and tasty fun swirls all around me as I tumble down the slide, half laughing, half drinking as much Guiness as I possibly can! When I finally reach the bottom I'm rolling around laughing, then pick up some head and make myself a Guiness afro and beard. Hahahahaha! Oh, look some cheese! I think I'll take that with me.
After jumping in the shower, taking special care to get the beer out of the intricate pieces of my robotic hands, the cheese and I head to Paris to enjoy the view from the Eiffel tower. I've got my baseball helmet, jockstrap, safety goggles, and the electromagnetic field surrounding my body to prevent current from moving within the field. Also, everyone knows that the blinking light on top of the tower zaps anything flying with 1000 gigawatts of electricity if it gets too close, which is why pixies don't live in Frace.
I then retrieve the cheese and return to my darksteel tank which I put the cheese back in and refill with 32 year old Jameson Irish whiskey. Ensuring that the mesh is in place so no one can fall in.
- H.L Mencken
I Became insane with long Intervals of horrible Sanity
All Religion, my friend is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination and poetry.
- Edgar Allan Poe
The Crafters' Rules Guru
In the meantime, I think it's time for some
I get my old rod out of my father's tool shed and tie a rusty hook on there with a leader attached to the bottom. Sitting on top of the mesh, I hook the cheese and reel 'er in! The cheese is mine!
You interested?
- H.L Mencken
I Became insane with long Intervals of horrible Sanity
All Religion, my friend is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination and poetry.
- Edgar Allan Poe
The Crafters' Rules Guru
Avatar and Signature made by me.
Regular Decks:
Green Pauper - BlackDemons - White Soldiers - RU Spells - BU Mill
My Commanders:
Tibor, and Lumia - Savra, Queen of the Golgari
Off Topic:
My Music Gallery
- H.L Mencken
I Became insane with long Intervals of horrible Sanity
All Religion, my friend is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination and poetry.
- Edgar Allan Poe
The Crafters' Rules Guru
When I wake up the following afternoon, the darksteel tank is empty. I mean, the cheese is gone too!
"Alright, who ate the cheese!?! I told you guys, that cheese is not to be eaten!"
A few drunken people glance over at me before lying down again.
"Damnit... Okay, guys, that cheese was poisoned! I have the antidote right here, but if you ate the cheese, you'd better come get it now because it's designed to kill you as soon as your hangover wears off!"
One guy with shifty eyes slowly hauls himself up and comes forward looking embarrassed. I bonk him on the head. "Damnit Merv, *bonk* I told you not to *bonk* eat the *bonk* cheese! It's not *bonk* poisoned, but *bonk* I should poison *bonk* you for being *bonk* so stupid!" *bonk*
I go buy a new cheese because Merv is a dummy. I put it in a darksteel vault that can be opened only by reciting the entirety of the King James Bible in my voice. There is a copy there for my convenience.
Sod it I don't have the time, breath or patience to do that. At least you got some enjoyment out of the Whiskey.
I freeze the safe down to 1K so it is again nice and brittle. Drill a hole in the top, fill the safe with water insert waterproof explosives on a radio detonator.
Set it off the safe door is now removed from the front of the safe. The cheese is now soggy.
I dry it out and return it to Stardust and ask him not to be so sadistic next time.
- H.L Mencken
I Became insane with long Intervals of horrible Sanity
All Religion, my friend is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination and poetry.
- Edgar Allan Poe
The Crafters' Rules Guru
I take the cheese give it to Joe Rogan to put up as a prize on an episode of Fear Factor. You must consume two pounds of canned dog food, dive down into a swimming pool of insects to find the correct key to open a lock, and pick a dozen live rats out of a box with your mouth. Go!