Well, you can imagine why I avoided you guys. I kinda didn't want to admit it to anyone, least of all myself. I also didn't want any of my friends that happen to browse these forums see. That was a nightmare waiting to happen.
Well, you can imagine why I avoided you guys. I kinda didn't want to admit it to anyone, least of all myself. I also didn't want any of my friends that happen to browse these forums see. That was a nightmare waiting to happen.
Well, I'm really glad to hear you're comfortable enough to drop in; it's a milestone in your life that you're comfortable with who you are and I'm glad you've reached it. Congratulations. We would bake you a cake but someone used all the flour.
I'm not sure if it's an 'ongoing' process like you suggest. I came out as bi to my family and friends, the ones that matter, a long time ago. I think I was... 14?
Nowadays, there's no 'coming out'. I don't bring it up, because it's simply not important in most situations. If someone asks, I tell them. But it's not a 'coming out'. I'm out. Was never in, really.
Well, my parents 'found out' long before i was ready to tell them. History folders do that.
My brother asked me straight up some time after that.
I haven't even told most of my friends, but I've told the ones that matter to me. I was so afraid of how they would react. Like, before I told them they kept asking me what was wrong cz they said I was shaking and was being more of an introvert than normal (not exact words, but that's the approximation). Then there was that awkward 'well, what exactly do you mean by bisexual?' period for a good 15 minutes. Now things are cool.
My best friend was really mad that he wasn't the first to find out. There's this girl he really dislikes that knew before him because there was a guy who I was crushing on that I had told, and might have had a shot with. He was at the time dating this girl but was about to break it off, and I didn't know she was the snoopy kind. She confronted me about a bunch of 'weird' texts she had found on his phone. I tried to play it off casual, but she knew. After they broke up I cleared the air with her, but she told me she knew what was up the whole time.
I'm not sure if it's an 'ongoing' process like you suggest. I came out as bi to my family and friends, the ones that matter, a long time ago. I think I was... 14?
Nowadays, there's no 'coming out'. I don't bring it up, because it's simply not important in most situations. If someone asks, I tell them. But it's not a 'coming out'. I'm out. Was never in, really.
Same for me, but I understand where Arnnaria is coming from. Though I have a solid foundation of supportive people I'm out to, there's always a slight sense of anxiety when it comes time to have to tell someone who didn't previously know. That can intensify or dampen depending on context and who the person is to me, but that anxiety I feel (however slight it may be) echoes how I felt years ago leading up to my 'official' coming out.
In recent years, I've had to tell new friends, lovers, important coworkers, etc. All with varying reactions and varying amounts of apprehension on my part. As comfortable as I am with myself (and I truly have grown to be), I doubt I'll ever shake that feeling when telling someone I'm bi. I'd love to treat it as though the reaction won't matter, but the truth is it always will. If I'm close enough to someone to tell someone I'm not straight, how they react is going to have an effect on me. it's becoming vastly easier to do, but that feeling is always there.
But I don't think coming out ends with the first people to tell. There will always be more people you'll tell. And even if the process gets easier, I think it doesn't necessarily end.
Same for me, but I understand where Arnnaria is coming from. Though I have a solid foundation of supportive people I'm out to, there's always a slight sense of anxiety when it comes time to have to tell someone who didn't previously know. That can intensify or dampen depending on context and who the person is to me, but that anxiety I feel (however slight it may be) echoes how I felt years ago leading up to my 'official' coming out.
In recent years, I've had to tell new friends, lovers, important coworkers, etc. All with varying reactions and varying amounts of apprehension on my part. As comfortable as I am with myself (and I truly have grown to be), I doubt I'll ever shake that feeling when telling someone I'm bi. I'd love to treat it as though the reaction won't matter, but the truth is it always will. If I'm close enough to someone to tell someone I'm not straight, how they react is going to have an effect on me. it's becoming vastly easier to do, but that feeling is always there.
But I don't think coming out ends with the first people to tell. There will always be more people you'll tell. And even if the process gets easier, I think it doesn't necessarily end.
I never really understood the process of coming out. Though I'm beginning to now as I grow older. Almost all of my close friends know that I'm bi, though I don't try to hide it at all. I just never straight up said that I'm bisexual. I have a girlfriend, comment on attractive men and women both, and am uninhibited in my pursuit of party makeouts. My family, however, has no idea. I don't care if they do know, but my relationship with them is poor enough already (I'm a "dirty liberal treehugger") that I don't need to worsen it by exposing myself as one of the things which they despise most. My girlfriend knows I'm bi and certainly doesn't care, as she was raised Unitarian and in a very liberal family.
But yea, I kind of understand it now as a process rather than just a one-time deal. It's interesting how I've never had to deal with it before but as my circle of friends grows I feel the need to be more . . . overt(?) in my liking men.
Someone guessed that I was gay once, but only because I show a lack of interest in women, not because I showed any interest in men. I'm interested in both, but apparently being reserved is against the law nowadays.
As odd as it is, considering my views on the subject, I'm a lot more 'closeted' when it comes to liking Furry fiction/art/vidyagames. I feel the negative stigma of that a lot more than I do of homosexual or bisexual feelings. I still have little to no problem making my appreciation of the work known, but...
I don't think I worded my previous post well. It's not as much that it's not an ongoing thing. I just don't think this is a 'process'. I'm out. I know I'm out. I make no effort to hide the fact that I'm attracted to men. That said, in any situation where I'm not completely comfortable (and, lately, that's pretty much when I'm at home), I'm asexual. I have no interest in sexual things, themes, etc. I don't ogle people, I don't comment, whistle, flirt. I barely even acknowledge 'that person is cute/hot'. So there's no outward sign for people to pick up on.
Eventually, if someone asks, I'll say 'yeah, actually, I am' and move on. People pick up on it, and that's about it. If it matters to them, they'll ask, and then I'll answer. But that's it, really.
Edit; Took a bike ride to go get Subway. Entire round trip was about 3 miles. Took me, including getting the bike out, pumped, getting the food, coming back, about an hour. I feel good about this.
So, branching off of what people have been saying, who here has had friends/family figure out they're gay/how "gay" do you act?
I personally am not particularly gay/straight acting and have never had anyone guess. I just am who I am. I don't mean it as a bragging point, as far too many gay men do.
I apparently act very gay when drunk. I fawn over men constantly. When I'm sober, though, only the fact that my socks match my underwear and shirt give me away.
Hey guys, as I'm bi, I'd like to be a friend of this clan Plus ARD just died, though I'm not pretending that I posted there very much at all. Name's Reuben.
Re: Coming out and social pressure: I don't think there's very much social pressure against gay people here - they're pretty accepted. However, people are still, as a whole, very close-minded when it comes to stereotypes about gay guys. I've actually only come out to my sister in real life, but that's not really because I fear to come out or anything. First off, I'm very private and don't really want "acceptance for who I am" or anything like that, secondly, the person who thinks that I'm their best friend is the most anti-gay guy I've met, though most of my other friends would be fine. I'm hardly going to have a secret relationship with a guy, but if I'm not in a relationship I can't really see any advantage in telling people.
Hey guys, as I'm bi, I'd like to be a friend of this clan Plus ARD just died, though I'm not pretending that I posted there very much at all. Name's Reuben.
Re: Coming out and social pressure: I don't think there's very much social pressure against gay people here - they're pretty accepted. However, people are still, as a whole, very close-minded when it comes to stereotypes about gay guys. I've actually only come out to my sister in real life, but that's not really because I fear to come out or anything. First off, I'm very private and don't really want "acceptance for who I am" or anything like that, secondly, the person who thinks that I'm their best friend is the most anti-gay guy I've met, though most of my other friends would be fine. I'm hardly going to have a secret relationship with a guy, but if I'm not in a relationship I can't really see any advantage in telling people.
Maybe I should just grow up and tell people. Eh.
I'm pretty sure you can be a member if you're bi, and we'd love to have you!
Re: Your stuff. My 2 cents is: You tell people when you're ready to. Don't worry about feeling like you need to come out etc. If you decide it's time, take courage and do so, but don't feel the pressure from the LGBT society that you need to be 100% out to everyone all the time always. It's not healthy, especially if you're in high school.
As would I. Or I"d leave in a huff. And bring Mikey with me. We'd create our own overclan. The new thread title: "You CAN have it both ways." I don't know what the clan name would be.
As would I. Or I"d leave in a huff. And bring Mikey with me. We'd create our own overclan. The new thread title: "You CAN have it both ways." I don't know what the clan name would be.
:LEGACY:
XLEDed DredgeX
BTraitor's GateB
:EDH:
GMolimo, Maro-SorcererG
WRTrias, The Betrayer (Gisela)RW
BRWKaalia, of the VastWRB
Thanks to SushiOtter of Hakai Studios for the awesome banner, and Argetlam of Hakai Studios for the equally awesome avvie!
Generation 2556677: The first time you see this, add it to your sig, but add 1 to the number. Call it a social experiment.
Well, I'm really glad to hear you're comfortable enough to drop in; it's a milestone in your life that you're comfortable with who you are and I'm glad you've reached it. Congratulations. We would bake you a cake but someone used all the flour.
:LEGACY:
XLEDed DredgeX
BTraitor's GateB
:EDH:
GMolimo, Maro-SorcererG
WRTrias, The Betrayer (Gisela)RW
BRWKaalia, of the VastWRB
Thanks to SushiOtter of Hakai Studios for the awesome banner, and Argetlam of Hakai Studios for the equally awesome avvie!
Generation 2556677: The first time you see this, add it to your sig, but add 1 to the number. Call it a social experiment.
formely known as Wolf_Cub82
my altered cards on Facebook my altered cards on Tumblr
BurnR(Legacy)
ReanimatorUB(Legacy)
Ghave, Guru of SporesWGB(Commander)
HumansRW(Standard)
*Waves to myself throughout high school* How are ya?
Current New Favorite Person™: Mallory Archer
She knows why.
I was outted by a school counselor, so I thought, what the hell?
I was the token gay in high school. No one messed with me because of my hags.
I moved into a gay themed dorm in college and the next year I ran it.
After my Catholic grandmother died, I came out to my extended family.
Coming out is an ongoing process. Every new job, friend, school -- you're going to have to come out. It's cool and it gets easier with time.
Nowadays, there's no 'coming out'. I don't bring it up, because it's simply not important in most situations. If someone asks, I tell them. But it's not a 'coming out'. I'm out. Was never in, really.
My helpdesk should you need me.
My brother asked me straight up some time after that.
I haven't even told most of my friends, but I've told the ones that matter to me. I was so afraid of how they would react. Like, before I told them they kept asking me what was wrong cz they said I was shaking and was being more of an introvert than normal (not exact words, but that's the approximation). Then there was that awkward 'well, what exactly do you mean by bisexual?' period for a good 15 minutes. Now things are cool.
My best friend was really mad that he wasn't the first to find out. There's this girl he really dislikes that knew before him because there was a guy who I was crushing on that I had told, and might have had a shot with. He was at the time dating this girl but was about to break it off, and I didn't know she was the snoopy kind. She confronted me about a bunch of 'weird' texts she had found on his phone. I tried to play it off casual, but she knew. After they broke up I cleared the air with her, but she told me she knew what was up the whole time.
Same for me, but I understand where Arnnaria is coming from. Though I have a solid foundation of supportive people I'm out to, there's always a slight sense of anxiety when it comes time to have to tell someone who didn't previously know. That can intensify or dampen depending on context and who the person is to me, but that anxiety I feel (however slight it may be) echoes how I felt years ago leading up to my 'official' coming out.
In recent years, I've had to tell new friends, lovers, important coworkers, etc. All with varying reactions and varying amounts of apprehension on my part. As comfortable as I am with myself (and I truly have grown to be), I doubt I'll ever shake that feeling when telling someone I'm bi. I'd love to treat it as though the reaction won't matter, but the truth is it always will. If I'm close enough to someone to tell someone I'm not straight, how they react is going to have an effect on me. it's becoming vastly easier to do, but that feeling is always there.
But I don't think coming out ends with the first people to tell. There will always be more people you'll tell. And even if the process gets easier, I think it doesn't necessarily end.
Archatmos
Excellion
Fracture: Israfiel (WBR), Wujal (URG), Valedon (GUB), Amduat (BGW), Paladris (RWU)
Collision (Set Two of the Fracture Block)
Quest for the Forsaken (Set Two of the Excellion Block)
Katingal: Plane of Chains
That's exactly what I meant Mikey.
Couldn't have said it better myself.
But yea, I kind of understand it now as a process rather than just a one-time deal. It's interesting how I've never had to deal with it before but as my circle of friends grows I feel the need to be more . . . overt(?) in my liking men.
I don't think I worded my previous post well. It's not as much that it's not an ongoing thing. I just don't think this is a 'process'. I'm out. I know I'm out. I make no effort to hide the fact that I'm attracted to men. That said, in any situation where I'm not completely comfortable (and, lately, that's pretty much when I'm at home), I'm asexual. I have no interest in sexual things, themes, etc. I don't ogle people, I don't comment, whistle, flirt. I barely even acknowledge 'that person is cute/hot'. So there's no outward sign for people to pick up on.
Eventually, if someone asks, I'll say 'yeah, actually, I am' and move on. People pick up on it, and that's about it. If it matters to them, they'll ask, and then I'll answer. But that's it, really.
Edit; Took a bike ride to go get Subway. Entire round trip was about 3 miles. Took me, including getting the bike out, pumped, getting the food, coming back, about an hour. I feel good about this.
My helpdesk should you need me.
I personally am not particularly gay/straight acting and have never had anyone guess. I just am who I am. I don't mean it as a bragging point, as far too many gay men do.
:LEGACY:
XLEDed DredgeX
BTraitor's GateB
:EDH:
GMolimo, Maro-SorcererG
WRTrias, The Betrayer (Gisela)RW
BRWKaalia, of the VastWRB
Thanks to SushiOtter of Hakai Studios for the awesome banner, and Argetlam of Hakai Studios for the equally awesome avvie!
Generation 2556677: The first time you see this, add it to your sig, but add 1 to the number. Call it a social experiment.
Re: Coming out and social pressure: I don't think there's very much social pressure against gay people here - they're pretty accepted. However, people are still, as a whole, very close-minded when it comes to stereotypes about gay guys. I've actually only come out to my sister in real life, but that's not really because I fear to come out or anything. First off, I'm very private and don't really want "acceptance for who I am" or anything like that, secondly, the person who thinks that I'm their best friend is the most anti-gay guy I've met, though most of my other friends would be fine. I'm hardly going to have a secret relationship with a guy, but if I'm not in a relationship I can't really see any advantage in telling people.
Maybe I should just grow up and tell people. Eh.
Draft it on Cubetutor!
I'm pretty sure you can be a member if you're bi, and we'd love to have you!
Re: Your stuff. My 2 cents is: You tell people when you're ready to. Don't worry about feeling like you need to come out etc. If you decide it's time, take courage and do so, but don't feel the pressure from the LGBT society that you need to be 100% out to everyone all the time always. It's not healthy, especially if you're in high school.
:LEGACY:
XLEDed DredgeX
BTraitor's GateB
:EDH:
GMolimo, Maro-SorcererG
WRTrias, The Betrayer (Gisela)RW
BRWKaalia, of the VastWRB
Thanks to SushiOtter of Hakai Studios for the awesome banner, and Argetlam of Hakai Studios for the equally awesome avvie!
Generation 2556677: The first time you see this, add it to your sig, but add 1 to the number. Call it a social experiment.
Well I'd certainly hope so!!
Archatmos
Excellion
Fracture: Israfiel (WBR), Wujal (URG), Valedon (GUB), Amduat (BGW), Paladris (RWU)
Collision (Set Two of the Fracture Block)
Quest for the Forsaken (Set Two of the Excellion Block)
Katingal: Plane of Chains
My helpdesk should you need me.
Biymers just doesn't have the same ring...
I'd leave in a huff too, and I'm not even bi.
:LEGACY:
XLEDed DredgeX
BTraitor's GateB
:EDH:
GMolimo, Maro-SorcererG
WRTrias, The Betrayer (Gisela)RW
BRWKaalia, of the VastWRB
Thanks to SushiOtter of Hakai Studios for the awesome banner, and Argetlam of Hakai Studios for the equally awesome avvie!
Generation 2556677: The first time you see this, add it to your sig, but add 1 to the number. Call it a social experiment.
Bi-Gones?
Current New Favorite Person™: Mallory Archer
She knows why.
"They're not Gaymers no more, now they're Bi, Bi, Bi, Bye, Bye!"
I am slightly ashamed of referencing a band I never listened to while they were popular.
formely known as Wolf_Cub82
my altered cards on Facebook my altered cards on Tumblr
BurnR(Legacy)
ReanimatorUB(Legacy)
Ghave, Guru of SporesWGB(Commander)
HumansRW(Standard)
Looks like it will be "Bi Bi Birdy."
:LEGACY:
XLEDed DredgeX
BTraitor's GateB
:EDH:
GMolimo, Maro-SorcererG
WRTrias, The Betrayer (Gisela)RW
BRWKaalia, of the VastWRB
Thanks to SushiOtter of Hakai Studios for the awesome banner, and Argetlam of Hakai Studios for the equally awesome avvie!
Generation 2556677: The first time you see this, add it to your sig, but add 1 to the number. Call it a social experiment.
Bi Another Day?
James Bond had to make it into the mix sooner or later.
formely known as Wolf_Cub82
my altered cards on Facebook my altered cards on Tumblr
BurnR(Legacy)
ReanimatorUB(Legacy)
Ghave, Guru of SporesWGB(Commander)
HumansRW(Standard)