MTG Salvation Article Archives: Author: Eli ShiffrinCranial Insertion The Oxidda Loxodon Mox Paradox or, or, X Marks the Spot By Eli Shiffrin, Brian Paskoff, and Carsten Haese Cranial Translations Deutsch • Español • Français • Italiano • Magyar • Nederlands • Português • Română • 简 Cranial Insertion Back and Forth or, Transcontinental Judging By Eli Shiffrin, Brian Paskoff, and Carsten Haese Cranial Translations Español Enchant with Old Bay to taste. Cranial Insertion Bad Moon on the Rise or, One Eye is Taken for Jar of Eyeballs By Eli Shiffrin, Brian Paskoff, and Carsten Haese Cranial Translations Deutsch • Español • Italiano Xiahou Dun still adds two counters. Cranial Insertion When Fluffy Bunnies Attack or, Hoppy New Year! Cranial Insertion Eight Monkeys or, Do Not Set Monkeys on Fire By Eli Shiffrin, Brian Paskoff, and Carsten Haese Cranial Translations Deutsch • Español • Italiano Not that kind of oil. Cranial Insertion Gobbling Bombardment or, Hey, That Can Win the Game! Cranial Insertion Remember, Remember or, The Seventh of November Is Not Interesting By Eli Shiffrin, Brian Paskoff, and Carsten Haese Cranial Translations Español • Italiano Happy GP—San Diego! Cranial Insertion The Title without a Pun or, Thanks to Our Translators! Cranial Insertion The Monster Mash or, A Graveyard Smash! I am holding the place here, yo. Cranial Insertion Dog Day Sunrise or, Wait, Where Did the Last Seven Months Go? Cranial Insertion Magic and the Mayan Apocalypse or, Does Anyone Still Believe in That? Cranial Insertion Word of Commander or, Commander? Cranial Insertion and the Holy Grail or, Always Look on the Bright Side of Life's Finale By Eli Shiffrin, Brian Paskoff, and Carsten Haese When you're chewing on life's gristle Don't grumble, give a whistle And this'll help things turn out for the best. Cranial Insertion All Will Be One or, Hail Moko, Father of Monkeys By Eli Shiffrin, Brian Paskoff, and Carsten Haese HELLOOOOOOOOOO NEW PHYREXIA! Cranial Insertion Perfection Made Text or, The Father of Machines Is Coming By Eli Shiffrin, Brian Paskoff, and Carsten Haese Cranial Translations Español • Português He's coming for you, He's gonna get you now. Couldn't find a proper abstract due to lack of punctuation. Cranial Insertion Go for the Goat or, Viva el Goatnapper! Cranial Insertion Mirrodin Bee Sieged or, Bzz Bzzzz Bz Bzz Bzzz By Eli Shiffrin, Brian Paskoff, and Carsten Haese Cranial Translations Deutsch • Español • Français • Italiano • Magyar • Português • Română • 简体中文 • 繁體中文 Cranial Insertion New Year's Resolution or, Good, No One Countered It By Eli Shiffrin, Brian Paskoff, and Carsten Haese Too many ones results in a ban. Cranial Insertion Santa's Hidden Information Violation or, The DCI's Most Awkward Disqualification By Eli Shiffrin, Brian Paskoff, and Carsten Haese Cranial Translations Italiano • Ho ho ho! Cranial Insertion Cyber Monday Special or, Buy Now to Receive Before Christmas! Cranial Insertion When All You Have Is a Hammer or, Everything Looks Like a Mountain By Eli Shiffrin, Brian Paskoff, and Carsten Haese [This article is available in Italian here. Cranial Insertion Plutonium Myr or, It Taps for Blue, Not Green By Eli Shiffrin, Brian Paskoff, and Carsten Haese [This article is available in Italian here. Cranial Insertion No Myr Feet or, Another Year of Metal Puns By Eli Shiffrin, Brian Paskoff, and Carsten Haese I'm so sorry. Cranial Insertion Severe Weather Warning or, Hurricane of Puns Coming Soon By Eli Shiffrin, Brian Paskoff, and Carsten Haese Green mages stab you with blades of grass. Cranial Insertion Test of Endurance or, A Whole Bunch of Tournament Questions By Eli Shiffrin, Brian Paskoff, and Carsten Haese Not the best thing to wear while playing Magic. Cranial Insertion Fling Kiln Fiend for 1 Damage or, Hey, That Can Win the Game! Cranial Insertion Going to 11 or, Wait, Did You Really Not See That Joke Coming? The Enemy of My Enemy or, Enemy Mine, Mine, Mine! Cranial Insertion Zombie Moko Goes to Washington or, Zombies Go Hungry at Congress By Eli Shiffrin, Brian Paskoff, and Carsten Haese [This article is available in Spanish here. Couldn't find a proper abstract due to lack of punctuation. Cranial Insertion Eldrazi Crossing or, What Would You Do with One Million Mana? Cranial Insertion The Eyes of March or, The March of Eyes of Orms-by-Gore By Eli Shiffrin, Brian Paskoff, and Carsten Haese oh haiIt seems like only yesterday that we were getting ready for Worldwake, and it's already time to start looking forward to Ris Cranial Insertion I Left My Card in San Diego or, Yay for Pro Tours By Eli Shiffrin, Brian Paskoff, and Carsten Haese "I've been terribly alone and forgotten in this Standard. Cranial Insertion Global Alarm Clock or, It Goes Ding When There's Stuff By Eli Shiffrin, Brian Paskoff, and Carsten Haese So happy! Cranial Insertion Choices in Your Head or, They Tell Me to Pet a Monkey By Eli Shiffrin, Brian Paskoff, and Carsten Haese I kinda want one of these. Cranial Insertion Have a Zombie Monkey Christmas or, Up on the Rooftop with Brains and Guts By Eli Shiffrin, Brian Paskoff, and Aaron Stevenson Welcome back to Cranial Insertion! Cranial Insertion Gobble Gobble or, Hungry Eli Is Hungry By Eli Shiffrin, Brian Paskoff, and Aaron Stevenson Om nom nom. Cranial Insertion Time Passes By or, But the Questions Keep Coming! Cranial Insertion G'day Y'all or, Cranial Insertion Invades Texas By Eli Shiffrin, Brian Paskoff, and Aaron Stevenson I doubt R&D foresaw this rules monster thing. Cranial Insertion Magic Sutra or, Time to Get Zen By Eli Shiffrin, Brian Paskoff, and Aaron Stevenson The first planeswalker to not break the box. Cranial Insertion Chasing Planey or, Walking in a Pile of Ten Planes By Eli Shiffrin, Brian Paskoff, and Aaron Stevenson Oops. Cranial Insertion Lightweight Liquids or, No Deliberate Heavy Metal This Week By Eli Shiffrin, Brian Paskoff, and Aaron Stevenson Summer in Arizona. Cranial Insertion Order of Operations (The Old Version! Cranial Insertion Encore, Encore! Attack of the One-Hour Turn or, Why EDH Games Should Not Contain Nine Players By Eli Shiffrin, Brian Paskoff, and Aaron Stevenson Madness, and not the replacement/trigger kind. Fun in the Sun or, 6000°K in the Photosphere By Eli Shiffrin, Brian Paskoff, and Aaron Stevenson Try to set the night on fire. I'm Thinking ARB or, Gold, It Makes the World Go Round By Eli Shiffrin, Brian Paskoff, and Aaron Stevenson I'm getting dizzy. Trip to the Optometrist or, See Eye Exam By Eli Shiffrin, Brian Paskoff, and Aaron Stevenson The eyes have it. Games Afoot or, Referring to the Subtitle Is Meta By Eli Shiffrin, Brian Paskoff, and Aaron Stevenson I never metamorphose I didn't like. All Together Now or, Maybe Not That Close By Eli Shiffrin, Brian Paskoff, and Aaron Stevenson Bolas can has cheezburger? Feeling Crabby or, Old Bay Will Haunt My Dreams By Eli Shiffrin, Brian Paskoff, and Aaron Stevenson Sob. Planeswalk On or, Winter Is Coming By Eli Shiffrin, Brian Paskoff, and Aaron Stevenson When Marilyn It's December, and you all know what that means. Wait, it's December already? I suppose my first clue should have been the army of zombie Santa Clauses that has taken over my neighborhood, but then again, that could just mean that it's September. Yes, [card]Statecraft[/card] really is a card. It's almost Halloween, the happiest time of the year for Demon judges. Welcome to the fractured world of Alara. Welcome back to another week of exciting Cranial Insertion questions! And we're back! For those in the North America (and France, Ireland, Italy, Thailand, and, of course, our beloved Estonia) who went, we hope you had a good Nationals weekend. Welcome to the awesomeness that is [i]Eventide[/i]! As always, drop us a line at cranial.insertion@gmail.com if you have any questions, from the most basic to the more arcane, from tournament policy to Unhinged. Welcome back for another edumacational article! With the Standard-format Regionals right around the corner and a Block Constructed PTQ season on the horizon, [i]Lorwyn[/i] and [i]Shadowmoor[/i] interactions are the real buzz, but our faithful readers know that wacky Vintage interactions make us happy a In case you can't tell, I am dreadfully delighted to get out of the Disney version of fairy tales that was Lorwyn and into the Grimm, grim, ghastly, and apparently very colorful land of things that go bump in the night. A pile of today's questions come from Grand Prix: Vancouver, and another pile comes from our cranial. Welcome back to another wonderful week of whimsical questions! We've had a grand flood of emails to the cranial. Now that Morningtide cards are floating around like faeries who inhaled helium to sound even squeakier, the questions will surely come flooding in. Here we go again - a bright new year is upon us, one filled with four new sets of Magic and over a thousand Cranial Insertion questions. We're going to step aside from rules questions and the cranial. It's time to wean ourselves off of Lorwyn and get back to our regular cornucopia of conundrums. Halloween is right around the corner, and the haunt ability has just left Standard entirely. All is not well in the happy, sun-drenched meadows of Lorwyn. The new Penalty Guide includes, as sections 50 and 51, a guideline on player communication and shortcuts. And we're back from GenCon, which included the Vintage and Legacy Championship tournaments, as well as a zillion side events and a rules-nightmarish Grand Melee tournament. It's been quite the week for us here at CI. Hi gang! On the Tuesday immediately before US Nationals, we suddenly came to the awful realization that all four CI writers, as well as previous writers Thijs, Brian, and Jeff, are out of town this weekend, mostly for US Nationals. Slivers won a Pro Tour. And we're back, with even more questions from Regionals, and a whole slew from the mailbox! Looking back at both the box and the event, it seems that Blood Moon, that shiny little card from The Dark, that simple little bastion of simplicity . Hey, look, Future Sight's legal! Well, it was legal last Monday, too, but no one really cared - this past Friday was the first FNM with Future Sight, and people cared about that. So, the Future is on the shelves and legal for limited. How quickly time goes - it's almost time for Future Sight, and there are still so many fun questions with Time Spiral and Planar Chaos to answer! Moko's trying to travel through time and jam more questions into our older articles. Going by the timestamps on my 325-page Word file, it has been two years since I first hijacked the excitement of the then-upcoming release of Saviors of Kamigawa to bring to you this little column about rules. This Saturday just past, the DCI put into effect a new set of penalty guidelines. In 2002, Ixidor, Jeff Donais, and Mark Rosewater unleashed morph upon the world in Onslaught. So, did you all enjoy your Planar Chaos? Did the tectonic plates heave and toss your city into the roiling oceans? Did the stars align and bring forth the Great Old Ones to play sealed deck with you? Did you pwn Cthulhu in round one?
Somehow I doubt you'd Happy New Year, readers! We've all been up celebrating in a perfectly nonalcoholic fashion (except for Moko, whose mother won't read this and cut him out of her will. Hey, it's Christmas. Friday was the first of December, and you know what that means. It’s the final Champs week – Standard Champs! Some of you have already had yours, and the rest are coming up in a few days. Time Spiral's prerelease was hands-down one of the best events I've worked. On the tournament floor at Grand Prix Phoenix, the other judges and I noticed something about RAV-block limited: there are simply no new questions. I'm going to expound upon the article Thirty Common Mistakes Players Make. We're going to jump into some more random questions this week, including several non-card questions that have been bouncing around our inbox. Still got questions? Send them to cranial. Two of this year's three Champs tournaments are over, a Pro Tour just went by, middle of the summer. Hi y'all! Tom and I are gearing up for the excitement that is Pro Tour: Charleston, so I'm spending a bit of time on the east doing things that in no way promote my goal of global domination that you can't prove I have planned. Welcome back to Cranial Insertion! For our first of three Dissension guild weeks, we'll kick off with the one that knows the real meaning of having a bloody good time. Ah, the smell of a new set on the horizon. Welcome back to Cranial Insertion. Here we go, the last Cranial Insertion of our first year, magical number 52! This being the third Monday of the month, it's time for an in-depth look at something. We've spent the last few weeks of Cranial Insertion covering Gruul and declaring things other than vows of eternal love. Here I am at the Guildpact prerelease, and I should be doing something useful, but instead I'm writing Cranial Insertion. Hey, look, it's a bright shiny new year! It's also a bright shiny new Cranial Insertion article, because we rule so much. Here in bright, sunny, balmy Tucson, the desert city an hour north of the Mexican border and a mere 3 hours east of the glittering Gulf of California, IT'S BELOW FREEZING.
Cranial Insertion
(Kinda) (Sorta) Live from LA!
Cranial Insertion
Guess the Theme Week
or, Guess the Obvious Theme Week!
By Eli Shiffrin, Thijs van Ommen, and Tom Fowler
Special thanks to Lee Sharpe for hunting down obscure
new rulings.
Cranial Insertion
Rah! Rah! Ravnica!
or, Now You May Ask Those Questions. Cranial Insertion
Test Your Metal
or, Silly Subtitle No One Reads
By Eli Shiffrin, Thijs van Ommen, and Jeff Vondruska
Edited by Goblinboy
Cranial Insertion, the column where we cram fluffy bunnies into your head.
Cranial Insertion
Recurring Nightmares
or, FAQ It!
By Eli Shiffrin, Thijs van Ommen, and Jeff Vondruska
Edited by Goblinboy
We’ve had a whole bunch of Cranial Insertion articles by now.
Cranial Insertion
Welcome to the Fold
or, Sanctioned Tournaments Are Fun!
By Eli Shiffrin, Thijs van Ommen, and Jeff Vondruska
Edited by Goblinboy
Hmm.
Cranial Insertion
Rotten to the Core
or, You Look Familiar
By Eli Shiffrin, Thijs van Ommen, and Jeff Vondruska
Edited by Goblinboy & Moko
Welcome back to an exciting Cranial Insertion article! Hey, what do you know? Another Cranial Insertion article! Normally we make Thijs write articles that go in depth on one topic, but I get to do it this time.
Cranial Insertion
How the US Southwest Was Won
or, Actual Questions from Regionals
By Eli Shiffrin, Thijs van Ommen, and Jeff Vondruska
Good $time_of_day, boys and girls and other!
Cranial Insertion
Enchantments Don’t Dance
or, Combolicious!
By Eli Shiffrin, Thijs van Ommen, and Jeff Vondruska
We find ourselves in yet another exciting installment of Cranial Insertion, where we stick fluffy bunnies in your head.
Cranial Insertion
Rock Your SoKs
or, Chimps Have Big Hands
By Eli Shiffrin, Thijs van Ommen, and Jeff Vondruska
Welcome back to Cranial Insertion!
Cranial Insertion
Casual Mayhem Week
or, The Lost Lotus of Atlantis
By Eli Shiffrin, Thijs van Ommen, and Jeff Vondruska
Eli: Welcome to a very special Cranial Insertion!
Cranial Insertion
Where the Judgely Things Are
or, Have Your Cake and Eat It, Too
By Eli Shiffrin, Thijs van Ommen, and Jeff Vondruska
Welcome to our yet another episode of Cranial Insertion!
Cranial Insertion
Dawn of the Dead, or:
When a Body Meets a Body.
Cranial Insertion
"Full Saviors of Kamigawa Spoiler!
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