Casual Castle: Deathtouch Pingers Part 1

Casual Castle

In this article, -spooky- shows us the many and wondrous ways to kill creatures quickly, easily, and repeatably.

Introduction:
There are thousand ways to kill Magic creatures.... You can slice them open, crush them with a wrecking ball, make them sick, dehydrate them, starve them, trip them, poke them in the eye, throw dead bodies at them, burn them alive, freeze them, and even straight up murder them. Oh, they all seem like fun at first, but then you think about all that effort you have to go through. (I mean, eating all those burritos just to get rid of a threat? That seems like a bit much.) Sigh... there has to be another way. An easier way. Like, killing something by simply touching it. Yeah. That sounds awesome! They could make a game out of that!


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Construction:
Deathtouch Pingers combines deathtouch with the ability to ping something for one damage. Cards like Fire Whip can give any creature the ability to ping, and since creatures with deathtouch kill whatever creature they do at least one damage to... You must know where this is going. Slap Fire Whip on a Sedge Scorpion and that unassuming insect transforms into a high-class and unrelenting sniper. One shot, one kill, and every shot is a head shot.

When you make a whole deck out of this concept, you end up with a room void of all creatures but your own. As the illustrious band Drowning Pool so elegantly decreed, bodies will hit the floor. In order to redecorate your kitchen tile, we'll start with the cheapest and best deathtouchers the game has to offer: they have to come down quick, and come in pinging. Thus we are limited to early one and two-cost creatures. For this need, Black and Green deliver:


Each of these creatures has their ups and downs. Which ones you decide to play depends on exactly what you want your deck to do, and what situations you want to prepare for. For example, Heir of the Wilds has higher stats than his counterparts, which could come into play in a number of scenarios. Deadly Recluse can block flying creatures, and Tidehollow Strix can fly overhead for some free damage.

With creatures squared away, let's look at our ping-adding options. Shooting down foes as early as possible is our goal, so we want to make sure everything has a low CMC. This will give us a possible turn two sniper. Fire Whip has already been mentioned, but let's see what else we can find:


Red has got us covered, with Blue close behind. There are unfortunately no green or black pinging cards - so every deck must have either green or black combined with either blue or red. Viridian Longbow and Thornbite Staff are both decent colorless options, but their equip costs slow us down a lot. Even with the staff giving us a one sided Wrath of God I can't see any list playing more than two of either artifact. This leaves R/G, B/G, U/R, and U/B as your color combination options. Each has its own merits, but for now lets look at just R/G. With creatures and auras established, we have a starting shell that looks like this:

DT ShellMagic OnlineOCTGN2ApprenticeBuy These Cards
Creatures [24]
4 Ambush Viper
4 Deadly Recluse
4 Sedge Scorpion
4 Thornweald Archer
4 Toxic Iguanar
4 Wasteland Viper

Other Spells [12]
4 Fire Whip
4 Lavamancer's Skill
4 Power of Fire


This shell ensures maximum consistency by giving us as many copies of the deathtouch and pinging abilities as we can get. The numbers will surely change in time, but for now this is the shell we will stick with. Now that we have the core of the deck in place, it's time to look at the larger picture. We are all set on the creature-killing, but we have no clear-cut way to end the game. One damage every turn can only get you so far. Lucky for us, we have a few wacky finishers up our sleeves:

Hunted Wumpus (famously referred to as "Humpus Wumpus" by Gerrard Fabiano) is a low-cost beater that would be too much of a risk in any normal game of Magic. When sporting a Deathtouch Pingers deck however, you couldn't care less what your opponent is bringing to the table. Whatever they have will most likely die from the bad touch the second it hits the battlefield. If it happens to have shroud or hexproof, you still needn't fear, as the traditional use of deathtouch in combat will stop it in its tracks. Iwamori of the Open Fist is a miniature version of Wumpus that comes with a form of evasion, as well as a drawback that is less likely to matter in most games. Along the same lines, but a little more risky, is Boldwyr Heavyweights. These giants pack a much bigger punch than the previously mentioned fatties, but come at a much bigger cost. Most creatures searched for will simply die when they find their way out of the library, but giving your opponent access to any creature in their deck does have some dangerous potential. Other notable mentions are Swarmborn Giant, Vexing Beetle, and Giant Solifuge.

Card draw and consistency is another issue to tackle. The deck could find its consistency by having every other card do the same thing, but that leaves us vulnerable to hands with all deathtouch creatures and no pinging, or vice-versa. By including some card sorting and card draw we can make sure this doesn't happen often, and even dig ourselves out of some sticky situations. Green does not have much card draw, and options like Harmonize just cost too much mana. Bequeathal, however, is right on flavor. Getting rewarded with an extra two cards just for killing a creature you were going to kill anyways is like having your pie and eating your friend's pie too. No, wait, it's like killing your friend and stealing their pie for yourself. It's win-win! Even if your opponent has nothing in play for you to enchant, you can simply ping away one of your own extra creatures in order to dig for whatever you need. Finally, Commune with the Gods is some creative tech that finds you a deathtoucher, pinging-provider, or finisher. Leaving home with anything less than four is criminal.

Adjusting the numbers and constructing a proper mana base leaves our final product looking as beautiful as it is deadly.

Deck Name: Gruul Deathtouch Pingers
Deck Type: Control
Cost: $3.75 USD TCG Low Pricing

Gruul DT PingersMagic OnlineOCTGN2ApprenticeBuy These Cards
Creatures [22]
2 Ambush Viper
2 Boldwyr Heavyweights
4 Hunted Wumpus
4 Sedge Scorpion
2 Thornweald Archer
4 Toxic Iguanar
4 Wasteland Viper

Spells [20]
4 Bequeathal
4 Commune with the Gods
4 Fire Whip
2 Instill Energy
4 Lavamancer's Skill
2 Power of Fire

Lands [18]
7 Forest
2 Kazandu Refuge
5 Mountain
4 Rugged Highlands


In this list Wumpus and Heavyweights were chosen as the finishers, but these slots are open to anything you want. I use these cards for the style points. Nothing says "I'm awesome" like allowing your opponent to get whatever creature they want into play for free - even multiple times - and still killing them.

Instill Energy gives us a free reload on our kill shots, and can also make our finishers hasty if we need them to be.

Additional money into the deck should be spent on the mana base, which could include Copperline Gorge, Karplusan Forest, or Rootbound Crag, as far as more budget-friendly options go.

Additional Color Combinations:

Looking back at the color combinations discussed earlier, this same shell can be applied to each two-color version of the strategy. This results in a few interesting incarnations. The following are some examples. However, it should be noted that none of them have been tested, and should be seen as theory crafting. Check them out, look at the card choices, and decide what direction you might take the strategy.

Deck Name: Simic Deathtouch Pingers
Deck Type: Control
Cost: $3.90 USD TCG Low Pricing

Simic DT PingersMagic OnlineOCTGN2ApprenticeBuy These Cards
Creatures [20]
4 Deadly Insect
4 Sedge Scorpion
4 Thornweald Archer
2 Vedalken Heretic
4 Wasteland Viper

Spells [20]
2 Commune with the Gods
2 Freed from the Real
4 Hermetic Study
4 Negate
4 Portent
4 Psionic Gift

Lands [20]
6 Forest
8 Island
2 Simic Guildgate
4 Thornwood Falls


Additional finisher choices: Lorescale Coatl, Nulltread Gargantuan, and Horizon Chimera

Notes: Vedalken Heretic does not kill often, but giving him pinging is too good to pass up. This is also a good time to note that because there will almost never be blockers, the toughness of your finisher is almost negligible. This is relevant when you look at cards like Deadly Insect, or even better, Gigapede. While they have a higher casting cost, they are much more difficult to get rid of, and would fit perfectly in a list like the one above.

Deck Name: Rakdos Deathtouch Pingers
Deck Type: Control
Cost: $3.80 USD TCG Low Pricing

Rakdos DT PingersMagic OnlineOCTGN2ApprenticeBuy These Cards
Creatures [22]
4 Ashenmoor Gouger
2 Hellhole Flailer
4 Pharika's Chosen
4 Ruthless Ripper
4 Thrill-Kill Assassin
4 Typhoid Rats

Spells [20]
2 Rise // Fall
4 Duress
4 Fire Whip
4 Lavamancer's Skill
2 Power of Fire
4 Sign in Blood

Lands [18]
2 Akoum Refuge
4 Bloodfell Caves
4 Mountain
8 Swamp


Additional Finisher Options: Shambling Remains, Jagged Poppet, Vicious Kavu, Carnage Gladiator, Exava, Rakdos Blood Witch, Bloodfray Giant, Rakdos, Lord of Riots, Reckless Ogre, and my personal favorite: Master of Cruelties.

Notes: Anything with Unleash or the inability to block is great in a deck like this, as you will almost never have to worry about something attacking you anyway. Ashenmoor Gouger is a prime example, but there are countless others. Also, the casting restriction on Rakdos, Lord of Riots will almost always be met thanks to your pingers.

Deck Name: Dimir Deathtouch Pingers
Deck Type: Control
Cost: $3.45 USD TCG Low Pricing

Dimir DT PingersMagic OnlineOCTGN2ApprenticeBuy These Cards
Creatures [22]
2 Benthic Djinn
4 Moroii
4 Pharika's Chosen
4 Ruthless Ripper
4 Tidehollow Strix
4 Typhoid Rats

Spells [20]
4 Duress
4 Hermetic Study
4 Negate
4 Portent
4 Psionic Gift

Lands [18]
4 Dismal Backwater
6 Island
2 Jwar Isle Refuge
6 Swamp


Additional Finisher Options: Illusory Demon, Wasp Lancer, Lazav, Dimir Mastermind, Wydwen, the Biting Gale, Harvester of Souls, and Phyrexian Negator

Notes: Bloodthirst is another ability that has synergy with this strategy. You can almost always guarantee damage to your opponent thanks to your pingers, which means bloodthirst is very likely to trigger. This gives us access to cards like Vampire Outcasts, whose lifelink can be relevant in a deck with life loss, or a slow start.

Conclusion:
And there you have it: four versions of Deathtouch Pingers, all for less than $4 USD. Even in following the same basic shell that we used for the Gruul version of the deck, there are a plethora of directions to take a strategy like this. So many, in fact, that next time we are going to get a chance to see even more crazy pinging shenanigans! I hope to see lots of killer sniper scorpions until then!

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