MTG Salvation

Our new writer, Mark Apker, explores some strategies a player can utilise to balance a career in Magic and time with his family.

Hello! My name is Mark Apker (a.k.a. "swplyr"), and this is my first article for MTGSalvation. My articles will focus on two subjects: my strategy and preparation for upcoming tournaments like PTQs and GPs, and my experiences at the intersection of real-life and Magic.

This article fits into the latter category.

Real Life vs. Magic

Recently, I’ve been seeking out opportunities to play Magic at a higher level of competition. However, as a professional with a wife and two kids, finding the time to play Magic at the level I believe I’m capable of has been difficult.

A few weeks ago, late in the coverage of Grand Prix: Vancouver, the commentators were discussing Paul Cheon and his recent PTQ finishes as he attempted to get back on the Pro Tour. Brian David-Marshall said, "I fully expect Paul to be back on the tour before the end of the year," to which Marshall Sutcliffe replied, "he did just have a kid though… ." Marshall’s statement signals two very important facts. First, families take time. Second, the time families take drastically reduces the time Magic players have for the game, thus preventing them from reaching their peak performance and making it very difficult to achieve their otherwise obtainable Magic-related goals.

This article is for those dedicated husbands and fathers who love playing Magic. If you feel some conflict between family and Magic I hope to provide some useful advice. Here, I explain how you can both give your family the time it deserves and achieve your Magic-related goals. Whether your goal is to gather Pro-Points, grind PTQs or just retain your place as the local end-boss, this article gives two tools to accomplish your goal without sacrificing relationships with loved ones.

These two tools are:

1) Set clear expectations with your family, and
2) Set a clear goal for what you’d like to accomplish with Magic, then single-mindedly manage your time to achieve that goal.

Set Clear Expectations

The last thing you want is for your spouse or partner to hate Magic. During the decade my wife and I have been together she has been dangerously close to resenting Magic, expressing that she occasionally feels neglected because of the time I spend on Magic or accusing me of spending more time with Magic than with her.

I know I’m not the only one for whom this is true. Situations like this have led many Magic players to feel like they have to choose between the game and a loved one. But Magic and family don’t have to be mutually exclusive. You don’t have to choose between selling your collection and getting a divorce. There is time for both family and Magic, and the key lies in communicating clear expectations and then sticking to those expectations.

Discuss with your spouse or partner a reasonable amount of time to spend on Magic.

For instance, my wife and I have agreed that I will play in one tournament each week on a weeknight, one larger tournament a month on a Saturday (a GPT, PTQ, MaxPoint or SCGIQ), and all GPs within a few hour drive. As a busy professional and a father of two, my wife understands that I need some time away from my responsibilities each week and that this time away helps me be a better husband and father. Magic helps me be a better husband and father by providing me with a way to decompress and think hard about something other than work. After playing Magic I’m relaxed and my mind is reenergized. My wife understands that Magic isn’t a replacement for family; it enhances my ability to interact well with my family.

Help your spouse or partner understand what Magic means to you.

What role does Magic play in your life? And, in light of what Magic gives you, what is a reasonable amount of time to spend on it? For some this may mean playing only two hours a week, for others a healthy amount of Magic might me twenty hours a week. Regardless of what a reasonable amount of time looks like in your situation, make sure the expectations are known and adhered to. For some excellent reflections on what an unhealthy relationship with Magic looks like I suggest you read this article by Pro Tour Valencia Champion, Shaun McLaren.

Don’t be unreasonable.

It’s unrealistic to expect to play in every tournament possible. Also, recognize that your spouse or partner needs time away from household responsibility as well, both with you and without you! Go on dates and encourage "ladies nights" (ladies nights for them = MTGO night for you!) Be fair, equitable and reasonable with how time is partitioned between you and your spouse or partner. If your spouse or partner recognizes that you’re trying to be fair and equitable, it will make those weekend trips to GP’s much easier to justify. If you give as much time as you take, you will have all the Magic time you need, and none of the guilt you don’t need.

Guard your time and don’t cheat.

Plan how you’ll work your personal "Magic time" into your schedule. Plan with your spouse or partner at the beginning of the week when they’ll take their free time and when you’ll take yours. Make sure you get the time you both deserve and need. And, when the day that you’ve scheduled at the beginning of the week to play Magic comes, don’t feel guilty for taking the time you’ve set aside. And remember, sneaking onto MTGO during family time could have the same effect as going down to the local shop for a few hours. Don’t just be home with your family; be present with your family. Give them the time and attention they deserve.

Set a clear goal, and manage your time to achieve that goal

Now that you have secured a reasonable amount of time to pursue Magic, and your spouse or significant other understands how important that time is to you and encourages you to take that time, you need to set some goals. What do you want to get from the time you dedicate to Magic? Do you want to cash a GP? Top-8 a PTQ? Win a local tournament? How do you do it?

Be deliberate with your time.

A few years ago, Conley Woods wrote an excellent article entitled Mastering Formats. In it, he articulates that we each have a fixed amount of time to dedicate to Magic. The more time we have, the more we can brew and the more formats we can learn the complexities of. I assume that, as members of a well functioning family, the time you have to spend on Magic is limited. This doesn’t mean you have to be bad at Magic. What it does mean is that you’ll have to be deliberate with the time you dedicate to Magic.

Focus your energy exclusively on your goal.

By focusing your energy exclusively towards your goal, you’ll have a better understanding of the format that matters most to you, thereby giving you the best chance to achieve your goal. Is your goal to qualify for the Pro Tour through a PTQ? Then your time should be spent exclusively practicing the current PTQ format. That is, if you’re trying to qualify for the Pro Tour, and the current PTQ format is Standard, spend less (or no) time drafting or playing EDH. It might be a little less fun, but if you’re dedicated to your goal this discipline will pay dividends.

Learn one deck and stick with it.

Time constraints may prevent you from mastering every viable deck in a particular format. The approach I’ve taken is to choose a deck that will always be viable and sticking with it. For instance, decks like Rx-aggro and UWx control are present in every block, and the nuances of playing with those decks change very little.

I’ve been playing some variation of UWx control since Zendikar. By the time Innistrad rotated I had cast more than my fair share of Snapcaster Mages and Think Twices. I’ve been tweaking my Esper build for nearly a year now, and I feel completely comfortable knowing when to plus or minus Jace, when to cast a Sphinx’s Revelation or when to play Supreme Verdict and begin stabilizing. I feel comfortable with my removal suite. I feel comfortable casting a Thoughtseize and not just taking the Elspeth from my opponent’s hand because he’s light on lands and by taking the Divination I see, I know I’ll be able to buy time to fill out my hand and draw to the right answers later when I need them.

By choosing and sticking with a particular deck through multiple set releases and blocks, it will take much less time to master a format post-rotation. With this extra time you can focus on playtesting against your gauntlet or traveling to tournaments to hone your skills. In essence, sticking with and knowing one deck well will help you achieve your goal.

Always play your best!

This may seem obvious, but I’ve been surprised by how many times I’ve seen good players shrug off playing their best at FNM as unnecessary.

My time constraints sometimes force me to pass up a GPT and instead play in a local three-round draft or standard event. At these smaller tournaments the skill level is frequently lower and the onus is less on competition and more on fun than it would be at a GPT or similar competitive event.

Now, I love having fun, and helping others have fun, but I’m surprised by how often "fun" is interpreted as "I can play bad and it doesn’t matter because it’s casual." I don’t advocate being a rules lawyer over every little thing at a casual tournament, but I do advocate always attempting to make the best play possible. When you have a limited amount of time to play the game, you can’t afford to spend the time you do have making sub-optimal plays and learning bad habits.

Creatively look for ways to improve.

When you’re at a small, local tournament, even if there is no way you could ever lose to the opponent you’re playing against, look for ways to improve as you play against that opponent. Maybe think about your optimal plays and their optimal plays. When you believe your opponent has made a sub-optimal play, think about what a better line for them would have been and make a mental note. After the game share it with them. It’s important to remember, when you critique someone’s play, be kind. Don’t approach it from the perspective of them having made a mistake. Offer your suggestion as a different line they could have taken and honestly inquire if they considered your "optimal" line, and what their reasoning was for choosing to make the play they did.

This serves two positive effects. You’re more challenged because you have to think of the game from multiple angles, (which is an incredibly valuable skill to learn), and you’re helping the players at smaller tournaments become better, which will hopefully improve the level of competition you face in the future.

Wrap-up and challenge

I’m sure the suggestions presented above are not the only way to save time playing Magic, but they represent a few tactics that have worked for me. The point is, if you have a goal for what you’d like to accomplish with Magic, and you have a limited amount of time to achieve that goal, you need to find a way to flatten your learning curve and make the time you have more efficient. If you feel like your time is constrained, reflect on how you are currently spending your time and do a self-audit. Think carefully about those things and the value they’re adding to your life. Are they worth it? If you feel like there are things in your life, Magic related or not, that aren’t giving you an adequate return on investment, perhaps you need to look into changing how you spend your time.

With Magic, it doesn’t matter what steps you actually take to accomplish your goal, all that matters is that, with the proper allocation of your time, you can. As the Magic community ages, and players begin settling down and starting families, conflicts between the game and family will occur more often. You don’t have to choose between the game you love and the people you love. There is room for both to exist in a healthy way.

I hope this article serves as a valuable step towards starting the conversation and helping Magic players balance two very important aspects of life. If you have any other suggestions for how you’ve managed to balance Magic and family, please share them in the comments below.

Thank you for reading,
Mark