Confessions of a Dave: The Fourth Psychographic Revisited

Recently, our writer Adam Styborski posted an article about casual Magic, which included several links to one of my older articles: The Fourth Psychographic. For those who didn't read it, I put forward the identity of a fourth distinct player type from Timmy, Johnny, and Spike. This psychographic's name is Dave, and he plays to make you suffer.

To any good-natured Daves out there this might offend, I apologize. I also haven't met any of you, or you went by "David."

After Adam's article went up, I received the following email.

Dear Mr. Rezendes,

So, I definitely don't normally do this, but I really wanted you to know how much I appreciated that article . I am, thoroughly, a Dave. Rather, I suppose, I was when I woke up this
morning.

I love reading articles, it's a hobby that I picked up a few months back. They tell me how to win more, how to utilize the rules to the fullest, and they give me ridonculous deck ideas. Yesterday, I read an article by
The Ferret on (magicthegathering.com) that essentially hinted that I wasn't fun to play against. Then I read one this morning on (mtgsalvation.com) by Adam Styborski that referenced your article. His,
too, hinted at me not being fun to play against. Thankfully, Mr. Styborski's article linked me to yours, the one I'm writing to you about. And that article, good sir, straight out told me that I was no
fun at all.

Generally, I suppose, one wouldn't appreciate that kind of article. I, however, deeply appreciate it. Its not like I was blind to my errors before; I simply pretended I was. Now, I'm building a peasant deck to
play against my girlfriend when she gets home. I've never thought of Magic as just a game, I suppose... but that's going into the psychographic typical story that you have already covered.

I guess I could bore you with the many stories of my accelerating Dave-hood, but you already know them, I'm sure. The point is, now, thanks to you and your (masterfully!) wordsmithed article, I'm heading
down the path to leaving Dave at home. I will admit, unfortunately, that he's still going to come out at the tournaments I go to, but until today, Dave traveled with me even to the strictly-casual gathering of
Magic players at my old high school.

I never considered it a problem.

Now, I see the true error in my ways. Actually, I'm ashamed of said ways.

All in all, I just want to say thank you. Really, truly, thank you for writing that article.

Here's hoping that slinging cardboard will always be fun and prosperous for the both of us; may your libraries never be empty, and your cards never go foul.

Peace, prosperity, and luck,
Your thankful reader,
[Blanked Out To Protect Anonymity]

I was a little touched - any writer would be to hear something of his had such a strong effect - and quite a bit intrigued. I reread my original article and its commentary, and approached this individual (we'll just call him "Dave") about helping me write a follow-up. "Dave" agreed to be interviewed - in fact he was quite eager.

We met an an undisclosed location somewhere on the internet. The following is a transcript of the interview, edited only for grammar. Names have been changed to protect the innocent and to increase drama.



How long have you been playing the game? At what level do you typically play?

I've been playing Magic for several years, starting back in Invasion block. Usually you'll catch me with my Type 2 deck, though I used to pack an Extended deck for fun. I usually play at tournament level, doing FNMs and playing with the best players I can find.

How often do you play casual? Do you have a regular playgroup? Do you play casual any differently than you play sanctioned Magic?

Do you want me to answer as a "Dave," or as how I'm becoming?

Just as yourself. Both, if you wish to be thorough.

Sure.

I play casual probably twice as often as I do sanctioned, and I play with the same group of folks. There's this gathering every Friday full of fun people, and of course the same faces show up for FNM every week. I play casual just as fiercely as I do sanctioned, normally. I only have so many decks, because I only think that those are the ones worth my time. Until recently, I was playing a variation of the last World's first place deck (or championship deck, whatever's correct there), plus my Cephalid Breakfast for "fun."

I notice the "fun" in quotes there.

It's because I'm realizing it isn't fun for anyone else. The deck goes off between the first and fourth turn. Although it used to be a riot for me, watching my opponent's horrified face as a 27/28 Sutured Ghoul trampled their dome, I'm recognizing what it's like to be on the other side of it now.

I see. Is that what started to make you realize you were a Dave, or just part of it? How did you react to that realization?

Part of it, yes. At first, I just ignored it. I hid behind them not reworking their decks to counter mine, or them just not being good enough players.

And honestly… that's not fair to expect, because I have access to more cards and a far larger knowledge base. The point of casual is to put everyone on equal ground, isn't it? So that we can all use whatever cards we think rock.

How would you describe your Dave play style? Can you give examples?

Honestly, I wanted to be Mister Suitcase, but I don't have the money for it. Instead, I became a player who not only took the game personally, but could not accept loss. I attempted to build the most solid decks with the tier-one-iest of tier-one cards. My elves were unstoppable, the squid breakfast was the nastiest of tonics, and before elves, my pickles were so soggy, everyone choked.

Some would say that's just being a competitive Spike. How do you think you veered into Dave territory?


Dave could be anyone. Dave could be anywhere. Dave could be you. Jerk.
A competitive Spike wouldn't have gone to such lengths, I don't think. That, and I was relentless. I even started to drive people away from Magic with how arrogant and terrible I was. Not just random people, either; it got so bad that my girlfriend stopped playing for a time.

How do you think you first became a Dave? Did you start out as one, or slowly develop that way?

I think I developed there, but it wasn't very slow. My brother taught me how to play when Urza's was coming out, and I always tried to have fun. A lot of those decks sucked, but I tried at it anyways. Then when I got into competitive Magic, it quickly took a turn for the worse. I was happy to sling cardboard for years, going up to the local hobby shop and making a $10 goblin deck just to toss around and have fun with. Then when I got my first few FNM victories, I could taste the blood in the water. I started making $300 decks. And bringing them to the gatherings I mentioned earlier.

So you think something within you reacted to that success?

I suppose so. I just couldn't stop winning. It wasn't luck, and it wasn't even a whole lot of skill: it was all drive. That's when it became more of a game to see the looks of defeat than it was to lay down lands and Lackey out that Matron.

Was your Dave attitude limited to Magic? Or do you act Daveish in other activities?

Mostly just in Magic, but then the victories really got to my head. I was an overall arrogant person about everything.

So becoming a Dave in Magic made you an overall worse person?

I would say so, yes. It consumed me, the need for victory and the want to see those looks of defeat. Little did I know that there was always a heavy portion of disgust in those looks, too.

How did your casual playgroup react to you? Were they ever reluctant to play you? Would you say you had a negative impact on your play group?

At first, they were impressed. I had great decks, and great cards. Then, when I always brought the same decks that always won the same way, they started to be reluctant to play against me. People would avoid the table I was at purely to avoid a challenge. It started to get really bad when people stopped coming so that they didn't have to put up with my aggressive winning. It was even worse when other players would put players they didn't like up against me, just to get them to stop coming.

So you actually shrank your play group?
Slowly but surely.

Is there a specific example or anecdote you could share, about how this attitude hurt your group?

Well. There's this one guy, we'll call him "James." James had only been playing Magic for about a year when we faced off. He had a casual Boros deck, and I was running my Soggy Pickles deck. He got the first game with his lone Masticore, but I told him he got lucky. I didn't point out, of course, that his deck was actually okay, nor that he had a good curve and a respectable play style. Game two, I sideboarded the aggro plan and achieved lock on turn five. Game three I sided out pickles and just beat him relentlessly with weenies while countering everything he played. Boomerangs made excellent Time Walks out of his karoo lands, and I laughed every time it happened. The kid still refuses to play against me, and this has been since Planar Chaos.

Can you remember any times your play group tried to correct your Dave behavior? How did you respond?

Plenty of times, now that I think about it. After every game, they would always tell me that it was the same turnout, every time. They stopped playing with me for weeks at a time, sometimes months. People would ask me to make new decks, and I would either ignore them or tell them to get better cards. They'd get annoyed, and I'd just laugh or smile.

How did you react when you realized you were a Dave?

Well, I'm starting to put a stop to it. I have two builds of my Esper deck, for instance. One of them is for FNM and any other tournaments I find myself in. It's foiled out, and worth about $200 or so. The other list is less consistent, but more fun to play. I plan to use that at the casual gatherings as often as possible.

That's how you're changing things, which was really my next question, but I was asking more how you reacted when you realized you were a Dave, and causing harm to your playgroup. What thoughts crossed your mind?

It really opened up my eyes when I realized it through your last article. It made sense why people were avoiding me, and the pieces fit a lot more than my explanation of them being bad players. It occurred to me that we had lost about twelve or so people that used to be consistent gamers, and I could trace it back to a few games of savage beatings and unrelenting, acidic
[...I] wasn't putting them through
a crucible to make them better
players, [I] was melting and
destroying their will to play.
commentary.

I really wish I could go back and be a better person. That was the next thing that I thought about. I realized that through my Davishness, I was squelching their inner-Timmy or inner-Spike. And that wasn't putting them through a crucible to make them better players, it was melting and destroying their will to play.

What do you intend to do now? You already mentioned making more casual builds for casual - what else have you done to address your Dave problem? Have you addressed it to the group directly and apologized? Has your play attitude changed?

Actually, I haven't had a chance to address the group yet. I'm working on what to say to those people when I see them. I want to speak with the individuals first, and give them a personalized apology, then talk to the group and apologize to them. My play attitude is improving, but I don't think that it will be an easy road back to being a fun player again. It's a journey, but if I don't make it, then that's like giving up on all of those dreams that I took along my way.

Also, I'm reading up on the rules a little more. I want to teach people how to play, and do it the right way. I want to introduce them into the proper way to play magic, and try to keep them from making my same mistakes.

How do you think your play group should have dealt with you? Or rather, can you think of anything they could have done that would have made you cut back on your Daveishness?

I don't know. They did all that they could without banishing me from playing with them. There's no good way to handle a Dave. Just dismiss us, because you can't reason with someone who doesn't want to be reasoned with.

Do you mean they should have ignored you, or actually driven you away?

Really, playing people is what fuels the fire. If I have a constant stream of agonized faces that just look at the playfield, confused as hell, then I have a constant reason to keep playing like that. The best thing to do is tell the player that he or she is not any fun to play against, and to just move on to another match.

They should have ignored me, definitely. If you don't give the Dave fuel, it will die.

You mentioned that you've built some more casual decks, and you're working on your attitude. Has playing less ruthlessly changed how much fun you have? I mean, you say you got enjoyment out of a "constant stream of agonized faces;" if you aren't playing for that, is your enjoyment diminished?

Not at all, I've started to really love slinging cardboard. It brings a lot more joy to me to swing with a Cylian Elf wearing Blanchwood Armor than it would if it was the same old Sutured Ghoul every game. I'll never stop liking those arbitrarily large combos, or opening the game with "swamp, Dark Rit, Dark Rit, Dark Rit, Painter's Servant for white, millstone, two scoops?" but I'm recognizing that there's a time and a place for everything. The casual table is not one of them. I actually am getting more enjoyment out of the games now that I'm not so brutal.

Do you have anything you want to say to anyone dealing with a Dave out there?


Some of Dave's accomplices
were approached, but
declined to comment.
First of all, I am so sorry that you have one of us at your table. The best thing that you can do is to take away the one thing he plays for: victory. The only way to do that is to take away the game itself. Don't play against him (or her). It's not that we're better players than you, just that we'll keep on trying to beat you until you think we are.

Don't banish us from the area, either. If we aren't there, then we're somewhere else, hatemongering. If you can keep a Dave nearby, but not playing, then that's for the best. Just hope that person in question eventually gets the idea that winning is as much of a part of the game as losing.

Do you have anything to say to the other Daves out there? Particularly those that don't realize who they are?

Read the articles about how fun magic is. Pay attention to your opponents, and stop making the game all about you. If you want to always win, play against a goldfish. Otherwise, shape up and play fair. I'm not saying that you need to use bad cards, or even bad decks. Just accept it when you lose, and try to win. Just don't try at the exclusion of everyone else.

Well, that's all the questions I have for you today. Thanks for your time! Did you have any other closing thoughts?

Just, everyone, keep having fun. Turns out, Magic is a game, and what's the point of a game if not to have fun, right?



I would like to again thank "Dave" for coming forward, and wish him luck in his recovery.

So, what can we learn from this recovering Dave? Where did he go wrong, and how could or should his playgroup have dealt with him? It seems the crux of the problem began when it became less about winning the game than making sure the opponent loses - and knows it. The object of the game is to win, but the purpose of the
Playing to win doesn't make
you a Dave... but when you're
playing for fun, make sure
everyone gets their share.
game is to have fun - and Dave lost sight of that. Dave enjoys demoralizing his opponents, but doesn't realize the long-term results. If he beats them too totally, too often, and breaks their will to play. Then the group dies, and nobody is happy. Dave's entire attitude is self defeating.

To you Daves-in-denial out there to who some of this interview sounds familiar: please, examine your behavior, and ask yourself how much fun the other guy is having. Let me be clear: simply playing to win doesn't make you a Dave - Dave gives Spike a bad name that way - and you can be as ruthless as you have to at tourneys by all means. But when you're playing for fun, make sure everyone gets their share. After all, the object of the game is not to make your opponent quit playing it.

And to everyone unfortunate enough to have a Dave in their midst, good luck to you. Dave won't notice the subtle hints you give him to lighten up, or he'll rationalize them away. Each Dave is unique, and it'll be up to you whether to try to shun him, or teach him, or try an intervention. But as tempting as it might be to gang up on him, cause him as much frustration and pain as he has caused you, that just keeps the cycle going. Dave is a weight on every community he shows up in, but you cannot let the most negative among you define your group.

I hope this has been enlightening, and I encourage anyone who is, was, or knows a Dave to post their thoughts or comments. There will always be Daves in the world, but hopefully we can find ways to have fun in spite of them.

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